SWF Storm (March 9/2002)

[Guest BA_Baracus]

[The sound of a cold wind whistles through a darkened arena.

 

Suddenly several medium sized white pyros explode in the centre of the stage as a rain of blue sparks cascades down to the stage in front of the SWF-tron.

 

After a few seconds the lights return, scan an excited audience then zoom in on the announcer's table...]

 

Curry - It's time for yet another action-packed edition of IGN...er, SWF Storm!

 

NTD - Oh boy!

 

Curry - You seem more enthusiastic than usual!

 

NTD - They finally put me on something.

 

Curry - Oh good, on with the show!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SINGLES MATCH

Mistress Sarah vs. Jay Dawg

- Well, Dawg didn’t manage to beat Magnifico on Monday so he’s still stuck opening the show.  Oh…and look who’s back.  Everyone’s favourite whip toting girl wrassler Mistress Sarah!

 

NON-TITLE, NO-DQ SINGLES MATCH

Hville Thugg vs. Spider Nekura

- Xstasy really messed the champ up on Storm with help from a bulldozer and a brick wall.  It’s a miracle Thugg’s even walking, never mind able to compete tonight and Spider’s taking the opportunity to crush the champ while he’s weak…

Match Description – Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect.  Pinfalls, submissions and knockouts only count within the ring.

 

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

The Boston Strangler vs. The Prophet

- After The Prophet beat Spider on erm…Smarkdown, Strangler ran down to the ring tossed Spider a chair then a few moments later nearly punched the Prophet’s pregnant wife Laura!  So is that why this match was booked?  Hell no.  The Prophet’s wife had the audacity to shock Strangler with a taser in defence then call him a bitch and that kind of thing just doesn’t fly with the current pro-Clan commish!

 

TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH

Mark Stevens & Longdogger Pete vs. Thoth & Edwin MacPhisto

- Longdogger Pete has had some problems with the clan as of late.  On the other hand Thoth recently lost his ICTV title to MacPhisto then lost in a rematch and who knows how Stevens and Pete will get along.  While there are no tags in this match, these men still shouldn’t forget whose side they’re on for tonight! [Note:  I accidentally double booked the Prophet so I had to stick Stevens in to replace him, so sorry if this match makes next to no sense.]

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect.  All 4 men are allowed in the ring at once, no tags required.

 

DOUBLE JEOPARDY MATCH FOR SWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP

[Fallout vs. El Luchadore Magnifico] vs. [sacred vs. Xstasy]

- The feud between Xstasy and Sacred’s stable Da Pound has been intensifying lately while Fallout and Magnifico have traded wins over the past couple weeks.  Now these 4 deserving wrestlers will compete for a spot in a 3-way title match taking place on the next PPV (Thugg and Stevens are the other 2 men involved).

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect.  All 4 men are allowed in the ring at once and can fight anyone they want, but they can only be eliminated by their assigned opponent (the person with them in the square brackets).  If someone is eliminated they must return to the back and the remaining 2 will compete for the #1 contendership.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Curry “HERE WE ARE!  Kalamazoo, Michigan is hosting SWF Storm tonight!  This crowd is up and at it!”

 

>NTD “A lot of Red Wings fans here tonight, as you can tell by the sea of Red and White!  But by the end of the show, we’ll have die hard SWF fans to deal with!”

 

>Curry “No doubt about it!  Tonight, Mistress Sarah returns to take on Jay Dawg!”

 

>NTD “And we’ve got a tag match!  Thoth and Edwin MacPhisto take on Grand Slam Mark Stevens and Longdogger Pete, in probably the years most random match ever!”

 

>Curry “But what everyone’s talking about is our Main event!  A double Jeopardy matchup concerning ELM vs. Fallout, Xstasy vs. Sacred… and the winner of each vs. each other!”

 

>NTD “You forgot the best part!  Jeez, that Indian spice must be diluting your memory!  Its for the number one contendership!!”

 

>Curry “I was getting to that!”

 

>NTD “Bleh!”

 

>Curry “You’re pants fell down!”

 

>NTD “WHOA!  NO, I better pull them up… errr… I’m not wearing pants am I?”

 

>Curry “Are you ever?”

 

>NTD “Good one Curry…”

 

“… and I want you…”

 

The arena goes dark, as the people go CRAZY!!!”

 

“… and I want you…”

 

>NTD “You just mention his name and he comes out…”

 

“… and I want you…”

 

>Curry “The Joy has come to Michigan!!”

 

“… and I WANT YOU!!!!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG!!!”

 

The cheering increases again as Xstasy steps from the entryway and in front of the bright white light that throws his silhouette out to the crowd!  He walks down the ramp as the adoring fans heap praises onto him, nodding confidently, and sliding into the ring!

 

>NTD “Aww… look at that bandage!  Poor X has a boo boo…”

 

>Curry “More than that, NTD!  HVT put him through a Car Window!”

 

>NTD “Yeah, well that was AFTER X put him through a BRICK WALL!!”

 

>Curry “Nobody knows how these two are even here tonight, let alone competing!  HVT taking on Spider Nekura, and X taking on… well, fighting in a very challenging match to say the least!”

 

Xstasy takes the mic thrown to him, and smiles.  The ladies squeal!

 

>X “Now… does anybody want to HAVE X… in KALAMAZOO???!!!!”

 

>Crowd “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

 

X lets them die down, before he continues…

 

>X “Monday Night, Smarkdown, now known as Brutal Monday, perhaps the most Maniacal Monday in SWF history… on that fatal night, we put the H-Ville Thugg through a hellacious brick wall with a bulldozer!!!”  The people roar with approval!  “And on that same night, Thugg rose from the rubble, interfered illegally in our match, took us out to the parking lot… and put our head through a glass window!”

 

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

>Curry “Despicable actions from the SWF Champion… he cost the match!”

 

>NTD “Yeah yeah… tell it to the judge…”

 

>X “You know, that night we watched as HVT limped over to the ring!  We watched him, blood stained and broken, fight back into our way… and we watched him, against all odds, continue to try to fight us!  But amidst all of that, even through all of that madness, all of that determination, all of that angry black rage… we watched the H-Ville Thugg… FALL DOWN!!”  The crowd comes alive once more, but X holds up his hand.  “That night, Brutal Monday, we learned something very important!  That Thugg is going to keep coming, keep interfering, keep riding our ass… unless we stop him!!”

 

The people cheer again, as Curry looks at NTD!

 

>X “Thugg… Damien… we know that you plan on interfering in our match tonight against Sacred,” big boo, “Fallout,” another big boo, “and El Luchadoooooooooooooooooore Magnifico!!”  The arena erupts in HUGE cheering!  X sighs and continues!  “And we also know that there is only one way to prevent that, to make sure that the match is fair, square, and that we get to go to the Pay Per View, beat that ass, and FINALLY become the SWF CHAMPION!!  So bring your fat, black, monkey looking mug of yours down to this ring right now!  We don’t want to wait until the Pay Per View!  We want to kick… no no no NO!  ‘I’ want to kick your ass all over KALAMAZOO… right here TONIGHT!!!!”

 

He drops the microphone as the roof is blown off the sucka!  NTD almost wets his pants, while Curry tries to keep his own bladder under control as well.

 

>NTD “OHMYGODZ!!!  THUGG IZ BEINGZ CALLED OUT BY XSTASY!!”

 

>Curry “We might get to see them throw down right here… tonight!!”

 

Only a few seconds go by until DMX’s “My N*ggas” BLASTS over the speakers!  The crowd begins to pour on the heat, knowing that a showdown is inevitable… but they aren’t exactly prepared for the BLUR that streaks down the ramp and slides into the ring!

 

>Curry “Jay DAWG?  What the hell… ?”

 

JD makes a beeline for The Perfect Drug, only to get sidestepped, grabbed behind the head, and TOSSED from the ring!!!  He goes through the ropes and lands on the outside, hitting the announcers’ table with a THUD, as the crowd laughs!

 

>X “Thugg… man you got smaller!  What are you?  On the Rane weight loss program?”

 

The crowd chuckles as JD stands up and angrily shouts some words at X.

 

>X “What was that?… oh, I’m not good enough for Thugg, huh, well, that’s great!  JD, before you get your ass whooped just like you did a week and a half ago, we suggest that you calm down, and listen to us very carefully!  We didn’t want to do this, but We have to.  It seems like your fearless leader aint’ coming down to face us, which is X-Actly what We X-pected!  So seeing as how all of the men and women… and ESPECIALLY the WOMEN (mandatory scream of delight) love to see X get the best of some poor McFly, We’re gonna have to go with plan… B!!!”

 

>NTD “Plan B?  Man, X is always prepared!”

 

>Curry “What the hell is he talking about?”

 

>X “So JD, be prepared tonight… to answer your Cell Phone!”

 

>NTD “What?”

 

>JD “What?”

 

>Crowd “What?”

 

>X “His Cell Phone!”

 

>Crowd “WHAT?”

 

>X “We said his Cell Phone!”

 

The crowd laughs while X shakes his head.

 

>Curry “His Cell Phone?  What could X possibly have planned?  Nobody can stop Thugg?  Or can they?”

 

>NTD “I’ll bet X wants to stop him, more than anything!”

 

>X “Now, Jay, run back to your fearless leader, and tell him that since he ain’t coming to us, we’re gonna come to him!  And after tonight, We’re gonna be the number one contender to HIS title!  And at the Pay Per View, in front of All the fans, WE will be victorious!  He’s gonna go down, he’s gonna go out!  And the people, these great people that watch the SWF every week, that come to SWF shows, that buy SWF merchandise, that sleep, eat, dream the SWF day in, day out, that have wanted for so long to associate that oh so perfect feeling with the SWF Titles… they will know All… AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL The Joy… of X!!!”

 

“The Perfect Drug” comes on again, while JD circles the ring, pointing up at X and mouthing “you’ll be sorry!”  X goes to the top rope near him, chuckles, and then makes the sign of the X!  The photo op is taken, X drops to the ring, and climbs out, leaving everyone to wonder…

 

>NTD “WHAT could he possibly have planned for tonight?”

 

>Curry “I guess we’ll have to find out later on!  But X is very confident that this contendership… and the World Title… is as good as his!”

 

>NTD “Well, who knows what’ll happen?”

 

>Curry “Coming up, ladies and gentlemen- Jay Dawg faces Mistress Sarah!”

 

>NTD “What a way to start us off tonight!”

 

The show fades to commercial with X still backing up the ramp, enveloped in pop!!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

[A commercial break ends abruptly when a shot of the Wings Stadium appears. The nightline is quiet until the Smarks Wrestling Federation theme kicks up, blaring inside the arena. The view changes to an indoor shot, where tens of thousands of SWF fans have gathered tonight, for SWF STORM!! The lighting and pyro effects have just cleared, and now the camera swoops down and around the screaming crowd in Kalamazoo, Michigan!]

 

Funyon: [from the ring] “Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to SWF Storm!!”

 

[The camera pans around, catching signs from excited fans: “I’m Here and You’re Not!” “So Says The Clan!” and “I Want My King Back!” are just a few. The shot cuts to the announce table, where NTD and Curry sit, ready and raring to go.]

 

NTD: “What a show we have for you tonight!”

Curry: “Not me and NTD, but the SWF.”

NTD: “They knew that!”

Curry: “The main event! Double Jeopardy for a SWF Title shot!”

NTD: “Could be match of the night, but I think Hville Thugg versus Spider Nekura will come in a close second!

Curry: “Who isn’t looking forward to that one?!”

NTD: “Yeah, but first, SWF jobber Jay Dawg will take on the returning Mistress Sarah!”

Curry: “We’ve seen this before. Slobberknocker!”

 

[The lights in the arena fade to black as the Smarktron sizzles to life. It shows the blank fuzz of an old home movie as “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones begins. When the drumbeats hit, the movie plays clips of previous matches involving the Mistress, freeze framed in time with the drums. The Mistress enters when the guitar comes in, just glaring around the arena in a dominatrix manner. The fans give a mixed reaction to the Mistress, most cheering for her outfit, and others booing. Sarah ignores the fans, slides into the ring and unfurls the whip around her waist, playing around with it as warm up.]

 

* DING * DING * DING *

 

Funyon: “The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, from Bellevue, Nebraska and standing at five feet, eight inches tall … making her debut in the SWF! She is the Princess of Pain, the Sovereign of Submission … MISTRESSS SARAAAHH!!”

 

[“Paint It Black” fades out as three blue strobe lights flicker around the entranceway. Two silver strobes join the three blue, crisscrossing around the stage and moving to the ring. A shout is heard, piercing the quiet.]

 

Jay Dawg: “WELCOME TO MOTHERFUCKING HELL!”

 

[One, two, three. D12’s “Fight Music” kicks up, blaring over the speakers. The fans begin to boo heavily as Jamie Drazon steps onto the stage, staring into the crowd.]

 

Funyon: “And her opponent, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada! And weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds … he is the No Selling Bastard … JAMIE “JAY DAAWG” DRAZON!!”

 

[JD makes his way down the ramp and climbs up the stairs. Pausing at the top of the stairs, Jamie turns to the crowd and raises his arms to them. They boo him even more, so he turns around and enters the ring.]

 

Curry: “What a match for Sarah’s return to the WF!”

NTD: “Shouldn’t be too hard for her. She’s beaten Drazon before.”

Curry: “I bet you wish you could beat Drazon.”

NTD: “You bet your sweet ass I do.”

 

[The referee stands between Jamie and Sarah as they stare across the ring at each other. The Mistress begins pulling off the see through robe that covers her leather outfit. She tosses it outside the ring and coils her whip slowly, resting it in the corner, for easy access. With that, the referee backs away and signals to the timekeeper.]

 

* DING * DING * DING *

 

[Jamie wastes no time, charging Sarah from behind. Sarah turns around in time to step out of the way. She grabs hold of JD’s hair and uses his momentum to throw him face first into the turnbuckle! Jamie bounces around and rests in the corner, giving Sarah the opportunity to pummel fists to his face. The referee steps in, warning Sarah about closed hand blows. Sarah shrugs and begins striking Jamie’s face with an open hand! Her claw-like nails rake once, twice, three, four times across Jamie’s face before the referee can push himself between the wrestlers. He warns Sarah again, this time, not to tie up Drazon in the corner.]

 

Curry: “Looks as if Sarah isn’t going to be plagued by ring rust, as so many returning wrestlers are.”

NTD: “She’s only forgotten the rules.”

Curry: “Perhaps. Or maybe she’s rewriting them.”

 

[Jay Dawg pulls a hand back from his face, his fingers already wet with his own blood, let by Mistress Sarah’s nails. His face scrunches up as he grimaces, turns, and charges at the waiting Mistress. She ducks back a bit, tying up her feet, between Drazon’s legs, sweeping him face first to the mat! Immediately, Sarah maneuvers herself behind Jamie, pulling up one of his legs and grabbing hold of his ankle! With a twist, Jamie’s body goes rigid and he reaches out, whimpering with pain.]

 

NTD: “Jay Dawg’s in trouble early!”

Curry: “Isn’t he always?”

NTD: “I can’t wait for the delicious Pound to come out and help him out.”

Curry: “Oh. My. God.”

 

[using his elbows to grab onto the mat, Jay Dawg powers himself out of the center of the ring, and into the ropes, where he grabs onto one with relief. But then he wishes he could feel the relief, alas, Sarah has held onto his ankle, and continues to torque his joint! The referee moves in quickly, tapping on Sarah to let go. She doesn’t, so he raises his hand once, twice, three, four times before the Mistress releases her anklelock submission.]

 

NTD: “About time Sarah let go of JD!”

Curry: “She’s just milking his strength from him!”

NTD: “Why are you defending her? She wouldn’t give you the time of day!”

 

[The Mistress backs away as the referee assures himself that JD is all right. She turns around to face the crowd, her hands on her hips and a smug grin on her face. Jamie glances up and notices that Sarah has taken his bait. He smirks, too, and stands. His ankle seems just fine! Calmly, JD strides up behind Sarah, quickly snags her around the waist, and lifts her up and over his head!]

 

Curry: “What a sneaky move by Jamie Drazon!”

NTD: “That’s not sneaky, that’s smarts!”

Curry: “Mistress Sarah was caught way off guard with that release German suplex.”

NTD: “He’s gonna do it again!”

 

[sure enough, as Sarah makes her way to her feet, Drazon moves in behind her, grabbing the Mistress around the waist, and hefting her over his head again, slamming her painfully onto the mat. Jamie gets to his feet and notices his victim, then raises his arms in victory, shouting at the crowd!]

 

Jay Dawg: “YEAH!!”

 

Crowd: “BOOOOO!!!”

 

Jay Dawg: “Fuck you!”

 

[Jamie snarls at a particular area of the crowd, then turns back to his opponent. Sarah has gotten into a sitting position, giving Drazon the opportunity to dropkick the Mistress in the back of the head! The Mistress is whiplashed forward and then back, lying on the mat. She holds her head as Jamie drops to his knees, landing one to her forehead!]

 

NTD: “Wow, JD really has the upper hand, here!”

Curry: “A barrage of blows followed by a pinfall attempt … “

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

T—

 

[sarah kicks out! She sits up, holding her forehead as Jamie shakes his head. He gets to his feet, and then leans on his knees as he beckons Sarah to her feet. Slowly, the Mistress gets to her feet, but ducks as she sees JD’s foot flying toward her head!]

 

NTD: “Whiff!”

Curry: “Drazon with a failed roundhouse kick … “

NTD: “And Sarah with an illegal low blow!”

 

[After the quick low blow, Sarah reaches between JD’s legs and grabs him down in a quick school boy. The referee has no time to reprimand the Mistress for the illegal action, and slides down to the mat for the count.]

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

[Jamie kicks out, easily no selling the nut shot … just took him a few seconds. Both superstars make their way to their feet. Sarah makes the first move, throwing a punch at Jamie and then grabbing his arm to whip him into the ropes. Drazon makes short work of Sarah’s whip, reversing it and sending her into the ropes. Upon her return, JD captures the Mistress in his arms, then falls backward, twisting Sarah over into a belly to belly suplex!]

 

NTD: “Beautiful move by JD. He’s finally taking control of this match.”

Curry: “That he is, Pantless.”

NTD: “He looked a little hesitant to make the pin. Could that cost him in the end?”

 

[Drazon instead leans over and grabs Sarah by the hair, pulling her to her feet. JD wraps an arm around her neck, and throws one of her arms over his neck, setting up a suplex. The Mistress is limp and offers no resistance as JD lifts her up, holds her in the air for a moment, and then drops her. But as her body falls, JD turns and grabs Sarah’s head, dropping her face first to the mat with a facebuster!]

 

NTD: “Way to go, JD! That’ll put her out of commission!”

Curry: “And the pinfall attempt … “

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-

 

[No! Sarah kicks out! Jamie looks up in surprise, glaring at the referee. He stands and walks menacingly toward the striped official. The ref backs into the corner, shaking his head and jibbering incoherently.]

 

Curry: “Wow, JD really thought he had it there.”

NTD: “It was a devastating move. Kudos to the Mistress for being able to kick out.”

Curry: “Well, if Drazon doesn’t get back to the Mistress, she’ll be making a comeback.”

NTD: “Here he comes.”

Curry: “You say that a lot, don’t you?”

 

[Drazon backs away from the referee and moves back to Sarah. Still pissed at his failed pinfall attempt, JD grabs Sarah by her blonde hair, pulling her to his feet. He thinks for a moment as the Mistress regains her breath, then he smiles. A glance to the corner confirms his plan, and JD flies into action. He grabs up Sarah for a quick scoop slam, but she slides over his shoulder! Keeping an arm around Drazon’s neck, Sarah brings him down in a Dragon sleeper position, then drops to the mat!]

 

Curry: “JD’s slam was foiled and Sarah pulled off a reverse DDT!”

NTD: “That is quite intuitive, Spiceman.”

Curry: “Looked good to me!”

 

[The Mistress gathers herself and makes it to her feet, but stumbles a bit and ends up resting in the corner. A feral grin crosses her lips and she hefts herself onto the second turnbuckle, and climbs onto the third. There, she watches as Jamie begins to stir, holding his head as he rises to his feet. Standing up, the Mistress tightrope walks to the middle of the ropes, then bounces as Jamie straightens. Then he turns, and Sarah leaps! The Princess of Pain locks her shins around the No Selling Bastard’s neck, and he finally sells as Sarah pulls him to the mat!]

 

NTD: “Jamie’s just been Whipped!”

Curry: “Now don’t you wish you could have been there?”

NTD: “I’ll whip JD, sure!”

 

[but Sarah’s not done yet! As soon as JD hits the mat, she slides closer, her legs still locked around Jamie’s neck. With her thighs in place, the Mistress locks her ankles together and tightens her muscles, SQUEEEEEZING the life out of Jamie Drazon!]

 

NTD: “That’s a choke! Ref! Break it up!”

Curry: “That’s where you’re wrong, my pantless friend! The Torture Chamber is like a sleeper hold. She’s cutting off the flow of blood to Drazon’s brain!”

NTD: “Oh, JAY!”

 

[upon feeling his jugular veins close up, JD’s eyes but out and he claws at the thighs around his neck. Sarah remains in place, her hold as tight as ever. The referee is close, asking Jamie if he wants to give up. But JD is a no selling bastard, so he doesn’t want to give up! He shakes his head the best he can in such conditions, and flails his free arm. His face begins to turn red as the crowd begins clapping slowly, accelerating with anticipation of a submission!]

 

Curry: “Thirty seconds. I think that’s a record!”

NTD: “Well, maybe JD is good for something other than fu-“

Curry: [interrupting] “WHOA!”

 

[The camera focuses on the announce table just to catch the look of shock on Curry’s face and the look of guilt on NTD’s face. The moment is forever archived and then the match continues. JD has wriggled around to his knees, with the Mistress still hanging from around his neck! Drazon manages to get to his feet, while the Mistress’ s grip is still locked on, although she only has her shins around his neck now. Jamie reaches up to try and pry Sarah’s legs away, but the Mistress beats him to it, twisting her legs and bringing Drazon back to the mat with a headscissor takedown! And she immediately locks the Torture Chamber back on!]

 

NTD: “Ahem. Here we go again.”

Curry: “Jamie just can’t seem to escape that Torture Chamber.”

 

[Frustrated, JD pounds a fist on the mat, then has to shake his head wildly as the referee thinks that he’s submitted. Again, as Jamie’s veins close, he pulls and pries at Sarah’s thighs to get out of the submission. It’s to no avail, as the Mistress tightens her muscles even more. Drazon’s eyes bug again, and his face begins to brighten into a tomato red color. As the shades become darker, and then move into the purple range of color, Jamie’s eyes lilt shut. The referee moves in, grabbing JD’s free hand and lifting it into the air.]

 

ONE!

 

[Jamie’s limp member falls to the mat. The referee picks up JD’s hand by the wrist and lifts up.]

 

TWO!

 

[Again, the hand falls. As the referee goes to pick up Jamie’s hand a third time, he shoots it into the air, as if belatedly negating the second count. The crowd cheers as Jamie waves his hand wildly, finding some energy within him to get himself out of the position he’s in. Once again, he maneuvers to his knees, with the Mistress till wrapped around his neck. Drazon gets to one knee, and grabs a hold of Sarah around the waist. Standing quickly, Jamie pulls the Mistress up so she sits on his shoulders. He looks up at her with a smirk, but has to steady himself before attempting the powerbomb.]

 

NTD: “Nice reversal by JD!”

Curry: “This will indeed turn the tables in this match.

NTD: [sullenly] “No it won’t.

 

[As Curry speaks, the Mistress begins landing quick blows to JD’s upturned nose. The shots move around the face, from the forehead to the jaw, but all disorienting Jamie enough to make him forget what he had intended on doing. The Mistress lands one final blow to the top of JD’s head, then launches herself backward, pulling Jamie down in a hurricanrana!]

 

Curry: “It’s just back and forth, back and forth on this one!”

NTD: “Sarah’s doing rather well on her debut in the SWF.”

Curry: “That must’ve taken some strength to muster up.”

NTD: “No, I mean it.”

 

[Relieved, Sarah stands and wipes her brow. Glancing back at JD, she moves to the corner and begins climbing again. This time, she faces the ring and stays on the third turnbuckle. Without hesitation, the Mistress leaps, turning a backward somersault and landing belly-first onto the prone Drazon! She quickly hooks the leg for the count!]

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

[The referee signals for the bell as “Paint It Black” kicks up over the speakers.]

 

* DING * DING * DING *

 

Funyon: “Your winner of this contest, by pinfall … MISSTRESSS SARAAAHH!!”

 

[The Mistress stands and raises her arms in victory, a knowing smirk on her face. The referee moves over to tend to Jamie as Sarah saunters to her corner.]

 

Curry: “An incredible victory with the Broken Spirit!”

NTD: “Flashy move. But wait. What’s Sarah doing?”

Curry: “She’s coming to punish you for not calling her Mistress.”

NTD: [squealing] “You’ve done it to!!”

 

[Alas, the Mistress does not step outside the ring after picking up her coiled whip. She unfurls it and turns to JD. With a snarl, Sarah lashes out with the whip, cracking it over Jamie’s side! The referee scatters outside the ring as Drazon’s body jumps and he howls in pain!]

 

*WHA-PEESH!*

 

[The crowd is quiet, not sure whether to like or dislike this course of action. “Paint It Black” fades from the PA system. The black snake speeds through the air again, striking JD’s bare flesh again.]

 

*WHA-PEESH!*

 

NTD: “Phew.”

Curry: “Mistress Sarah is whipping Jamie!”

NTD: “Least it’s not me.”

Curry: “Da Pound should be out here for their dawg!”

NTD: “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

 

[Once more, Sarah’s whip unleashes its power into JD’s skin, ripping a small gash into his lower back. As mentioned, Da Pound does make an appearance, running down the ramp to help out their buddy. But Sarah turns as they slide into the ring, and gives them a warning strike!]

 

*WHA-PEESH!*

 

[The Thugg barely rolls out of the ring to avoid the sting of the whip and Sacred gets to his feet inside the ring. The Mistress glances at the evil Aussie and pushes Jamie away with her foot, rolling him toward Sacred. Reading the vibes from Sarah, Sacred simply reaches down, grabs Drazon and pulls him out of the ring. With Thugg, Sacred helps Jamie to the back, and “Paint It Black” kicks up once again.]

 

Curry: “What a showdown!”

NTD: “The Pound should have gone in there and whupped Sarah’s ass!”

Curry: “I’d be careful about saying that. She’s got the whip.”

NTD: “Ah, a whip don’t hurt none!”

Curry: “How about you ask JD later tonight how it felt.”

NTD: “He’ll no sell it.”

 

[The Mistress takes a glance around, smirking at the cheers she gets from some, and the boos she gets from the rest of the crowd. She coils the whip around her waist and drops to the mat, rolling out of the ring to collect her robe. Carefully, she slides it back on and then makes her way up the ramp, leaving the fans to cheer in anticipation of the next match as “Paint It Black” is replaced with the SWF Storm theme.]

 

Curry: “Anyway. Up next, here in Michigan, we’ve got the Hville Thugg again, battling against Clan leader Spider Nekura!”

NTD: “Match of the night, I promise!”

Curry: “Also, we’ll see the weird team of Thoth and Edwin MacPhisto, against Mark Stevens and Longdogger Pete. Where the Hell did that come from?”

NTD: “Probably one of Stubby’s chain smoking nights … “

Curry: “You’ll get fired for that.”

NTD: “Not-uh. You need me to HATE PANTS WITH A LUST FULL OF RAGE!!”

 

[The camera finally pulls away from the announce table, as the cameraman is extremely frightened by NTD’s facial expression. The shot pans around the auditorium, showing certain fans as they scream for more. Then, a commercial takes over the airwaves.]

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SWF Storm returns from commercial to The Wings Stadium in Kalamazoo, Michigan, where the fans make tons of noise while holding up their many homemade signs.  “Xstasy is my Perfect Drug”, “I want to drink The Clan’s Kool-Aid”, and “Hey, we can curse now…SHIT!” are just a few of the thousands of signs that litter the stadium.  After panning the stadium for a few more moments, the camera settles in on the entrance ramp, just before lights begin to fade out slowly.  As multicolored lights flash, the guitar intro to Metallica’s “Leper Messiah” booms from the speakers and the fans let out a resounding “BOO!”

 

<Curry> Back!  Live from Kalamazoo, Michigan as we get ready for this long awaited rematch from the Genesis II tournament!

 

“So Says The Clan” is imprinted on the SmarkTron in a red, gothic font where it soon ripples and fades away.  

 

<Curry> Spider Nekura, the figurehead and spiritual leader of The Clan is set to take on the SWF World Champion, the ominous, Hville Thugg!

 

The main guitar riff kicks in, signaling the arrival of Spider Nekura, dressed in his Clan black, complete with hooded robe.  Spider’s eyes are barely visible beyond the cuff of his hood, but that doesn’t stop him from executing his trademark “scarecrow” pose as the Smarktron comes to life, showing highlights of Spider’s many exciting matches.

 

<NTD> This should be one of the more interesting matches of the evening.  The contrasting styles of these two individuals should make for an bizarre encounter.

 

<Funyon> Ladies and gentlement, the following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall.  Introducing first, weighing in at 231 pounds……SPPPIIIIIDDDDEEEERRRRRR NEEEEKKKKUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRAAAAAA!!!!

 

Spider stands on the stage, soaking up the heat from the crowd for a moment, before making his way down the ramp towards the ring.  Spider climbs onto the apron, and then proceeds to climb the near right turnbuckle where he stretches his arms out once more, sending a cloud of boos through the arena.

 

<Curry> Indeed, Thugg’s power and Spider’s speed should make this a very interesting contest.  It must be noted that this match was originally scheduled to be a no-disqualification match.  However, due to the nature of Thugg’s injuries on Smarkdown…

 

<NTD> By the hands of Xstasy!

 

Spider hops down off the turnbuckle into the ring and pulls black his hood.  As he prepares himself for the match ahead, the lights go down and a sadistic laugh wails through the speakers.

 

<Curry> Yeah…anyway, due to the nature of those injuries, doctors asked commissioner McWeed to change it to a regular singles match.  

 

“They don’t know!”

“Who we be!”

 

“They don’t know!”

“Who we be!”

 

“What they don’t know is…”

 

BOOM!

 

A glowing line of fire on the stage explodes into a wall of flames, and as fans boo mercilessly and DMX’s “Who We Be” blares through the speakers, the Hville Thugg steps to the forefront.

 

<NTD> You know, it’s a miracle Thugg is even here tonight, after what Xstasy did to him on Smarkdown…driving in here with that bulldozer.  Who does he think he is?

 

<Funyon> And his opponent, weighing in at 450 pounds from Washington, DC…he is the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION……THE H-VVVIIIIILLLLLLLLEEEEEE THHHHUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGG!!!

 

<Curry> Let’s not forget about what Thugg did to Xstasy to end the show last week…throwing him head first through a car window.

 

<NTD> As sexy as he is, Xstasy deserved that beating.

 

HVT stands atop the stage, a huge, white bandage on the left side of his head, just above his eye, and a disgruntled look on his face.  As HVT begins to descend towards the ring, he holds his left arm close to his body, trying to keep it as motionless as possible.

 

<Curry> Well, regardless, the doctors got their wish, and this match is now a regular singles match, disqualifications and all.

 

<NTD> And I’m glad too.  Thugg isn’t in any condition to fight here tonight.  I mean look, he’s heavily favoring that left arm from the separated shoulder that he also suffered that evening.

 

HVT reaches ringside, despite the fan’s wishes that he trip and fall face first onto a 15” metal spike, and pulls himself up the apron with his right hand.  He steps over the top rope, still only using his right hand, and into the ring, where he delivers his title to the referee.

 

<Curry> Well, Thugg was seen all week with a sling on that left arm, and the doctors have said that the shoulder is only at about 50% tonight.  From what I hear, there’s slight discomfort when moving it, and any extended pressure could pop it out of place again.

 

After sending his title away, HVT locks eyes with the mysterious Spider Nekura while the referee motions for the bell.

 

DING DING DING

 

HVT stands in the middle of the ring while the un-intimidated Spider stands there as well, both men staring at one another.

 

<Curry> Well, injuries or not, here we go.

 

HVT says something inaudible to Spider, who stands there like he doesn’t even care, and then throws out a right hand.  Spider easily ducks the blow, slides to his right, and delivers a sharp kick to Thugg’s left arm.  HVT screams in pain and launches an even angrier right hand at Spider, and again, Spider ducks, slides to the right, and kicks Thugg in the left arm.

 

<Curry> And Spider immediately going after that injured arm of Thugg.  

 

<NTD> And that’s why the Clan is what it is today…smart, calculated moves that have a profound effect.

 

HVT holds his left shoulder in pain before Spider reaches out, grabs Thugg’s left arm, and yanks down hard on it.  Thugg bellows out as Spider yanks down again on HVT’s arm, boring the fans but getting the job done.

 

<Curry> I don’t know how long Thugg’s shoulder is going to hold out if it keeps taking this kind of punishment.

 

Spider twists Thugg’s arm, and then bends it behind Thugg’s back for a Hammerlock, which seems to be a bit more excruciating than any other.  HVT taps his shoulder a few times, and then throws an elbow back that connects with Spider’s head.

 

<Curry> Hammerlock on Thugg…but Thugg with the elbow to the head.

 

<NTD> Honestly though, how can Stubby get away with making Thugg compete tonight?  Does he just have a personal vendetta against him or something?

 

Spider stumbles backwards and Thugg proceeds to grab him and whip him to the far ropes.  Spider bounces off, and just as Thugg raises his foot for a Big Boot, Spider ducks and heads for the near ropes.  Spider bounces off the near ropes, charges the turning HVT, and then delivers a dropkick to Thugg’s left shoulder!

 

<Curry> Thugg going for that huge boot to the face there, but instead, Spider scoring a nice dropkick to Thugg’s injured shoulder.

 

<NTD> I mean, I have to admit that it’s very smart of Spider to attack Thugg’s weakness right now, but at the same time, it wouldn’t be a weakness if Stubby hadn’t forced him to compete tonight.

 

HVT staggers back and grabs onto his left shoulder, but as Spider charges, the big man gets his foot up again, this time connecting with Spider’s face and sending the Clansman down to the canvas.

 

<Curry> Thugg gets the boot to the face this time, and down goes Spider Nekura.

 

HVT shakes his left hand and holds his shoulder for a second before moving in on the rising Clan leader.  With Spider up, HVT scores with a couple right hands, and then pushes Spider into the near right corner.

 

<Curry> I’m not completely sure of Thugg’s condition, but I do know that the commissioner has a job to do, and that’s to entertain the fans.  Thugg is one of the top stars here, and to keep him out of the lineup would hurt the ratings.

 

A hard whip sends Spider to the far left corner where he slams back first into the turnbuckle.  HVT charges in with a full head of steam, but at the last moment, Spider steps out of the way and HVT slams shoulder first into the turnbuckle!

 

<Curry> Thugg missing with that splash and slamming his injured shoulder into the turnbuckle.  Good heads up move from Spider.  As I was saying, I think the commissioner did what he could to accommodate Thugg’s injuries and still maintain the integrity of the show.

 

HVT stumbles back out of the corner holding his left shoulder again, meanwhile Spider hops to the top turnbuckle.   HVT turns to face the turnbuckle and Spider takes flight, locking his legs around HVT’s neck, and dragging him to the mat with a top rope Hurricarana!

 

<Curry> Hurricarana by Spider…taking the champ down!

 

<NTD> That’s bullshit and you know it.  Stubby just wants to see Thugg hurt.  He gets a kick out of it or something.

 

Spider climbs on top of Thugg and hooks his massive leg for the cover…

 

<Curry> Nekura with the cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO…..NO!

 

<Curry> Near fall there for Spider!  Yeah, I’m sure that Stubby sits around thinking about ways to hurt the Hville Thugg.  He doesn’t have his hands full with the Enlightenment or anything.

 

HVT easily kicks out of the fall, but immediately grabs his shoulder as he gets up to his feet.  A couple of side kicks to Thugg’s shoulder sends him back into the far left corner where Spider grabs his left arm, wraps it around the ropes, and pulls up, applying unbelievable pressure to the shoulder.

 

<Curry> And right back to work goes Spider Nekura on Thugg’s left shoulder.

 

<NTD> Spider’s really playing a smart, yet dangerous game right now.  He’s working on that shoulder, which is smart, but he’s keeping the pace of this match very slow, which feeds right into Thugg’s strengths.

 

Spider pulls up hard and HVT lets out a scream of pain as the torque on his shoulder becomes nearly unbearable, and the referee begins to count for Spider to break the rope hold.

 

<Curry> You may be right there NTD, but he’s forcing Thugg to fight with just one arm, which could limit what he can do power-wise.  Honestly, I don’t think he can hit that devastating Thugg Passion with only one arm.

 

At five, Spider releases HVT’s arm, but as soon as HVT untangles it from the ropes, Spider grabs it again, and yanks down hard.  Another yelp of pain comes from Thugg as Spider yanks down hard again.

 

<Curry> Spider forced to break the hold, but the damage is already done.  That shoulder may be more or less useless at this point, and Spider may be able to begin doing some real damage towards pinning the giant.

 

With each yank of the arm, HVT steps slightly out of the corner, and when Spider twists his arm, HVT lunches in and floors Nekura with a clothesline!

 

<NTD> And see, that’s what I was afraid of.  This slow pace allows HVT calculate and score those power moves.

 

HVT bends down and holds his shoulder while Spider gets back to his feet.  Spider holds the back of his head and walks right into Thugg’s grasp.  Thugg sends Nekura to the near ropes, where he bounces off and returns to become the victim of a thunderous Bearhug Front Slam!!

 

<Curry> WHOA!  Maybe you’re right!  For a man with only one arm, Thugg really had some power behind that spinebuster there!

 

HVT cringes and holds his arm as Spider’s head and back bounce off the canvas.  The crowd jumps to its feet as Thugg takes his right thumb and makes a cutting motion across this neck.

 

<NTD> I think he’s signaling for…

 

<Curry> I don’t think he can do it…not with one arm!

 

HVT grabs Spider by the hair and lifts him to his feet, immediately putting him in an Inverted DDT position!

 

<NTD> Regardless, he’s gonna try.

 

HVT places his right hand on Nekura’s back, and flips him up to his chest, so that Nekura’s back is against Thugg’s chest.  HVT grabs Spider by the waist line, but when he goes to hoist the 231 pounder, HVT’s shoulder gives way and he drops Nekura!

 

<Curry> No!  He couldn’t get him up!

 

HVT cringes in pain as Nekura lands on his feet, jumps in the air, and scores with a huge spinning heel kick to Thugg’s face, flooring the big man.

 

<Curry> Spider with that heel kick, taking down the champ.

 

Spider looks to the side and then runs to the left side ropes, jumps onto the second rope, moonsault’s off…………………AND LANDS ON THUGG’S KNEES!!!

 

<Curry> Spider Nekura going for that Lionsault there, but Thugg gets his knees up!

 

<NTD> Spider’s starting to slip and make mistakes.  That could prove costly.

 

HVT gets to his feet, checks his face, and then holds his left shoulder.  He grabs Nekura and lifts him to his feet, locking in a front face lock as Nekura holds his stomach.  HVT puts Spider’s arm over his shoulder, lifts him up, and then drops him with a technical suplex.  HVT crawls to position and makes the cover…

 

<Curry> Suplex……AND THE COVER!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH….NO!  

 

<Curry> NO!  Spider with the kick out!

 

Spider just barely kicks out, and HVT gets to his feet.  He reaches down, lifts Spider, and whips him to the far left corner, where Spider crashes hard into the turnbuckle.  HVT walks over, places one hand on Spider’s throat, and begins to choke.

 

The referee quickly moves in to try and make Thugg break the illegal move and when Thugg refuses, the referee begins his five count.

 

<NTD> Thugg’s really wearing Spider down right now…

 

<Curry> Well, that’s an illegal choke, so he’s going to have to break that hold, but still…you are right.  He’s wearing Spider down in the latter stages of this match.

 

Near five, HVT angrily breaks the hold and backs away as the referee checks on Spider.  As Nekura gasps for air, HVT runs in, looking for a splash, but Spider steps to his right……AND USES THE REFEREE AS HIS REPLACEMENT!!

 

<Curry> Oh no!  Thugg just smashed the referee against the turnbuckle and now the ref is down.

 

<NTD> And we all know what happens now…utter chaos.

 

<Curry> Usually.

 

HVT back away from the corner, not really concerned with the damage he may have caused the referee, and when he turns around, Spider throws up a high kick…THAT HVT DUCKS!!!

 

<Curry> Heel kick…DUCKED…

 

HVT steps to the other side of Spider, and when Spider turns to face him…

 

SMACK!!!

 

…one handed choke!

 

<Curry> …AND OH NO!!!  SPIDER’S GOING FOR THE RIDE!

 

<NTD> Oh, here we go!

 

Just as HVT goes to lift Spider, a roar of boos bellows from the crowd, and a quick pan of the camera shows The Boston Strangler sprinting down the ramp…steel chair in hand!!

 

<Curry> WAIT!  HERE COMES THE BOSTON STANGLER!!

 

<NTD> And this just got very interesting…

 

Strangler slides into the ring just as Thugg notices the disturbance,  but when he turns around, Strangler creams him in the head with the steel chair and HVT topples like a ton of bricks!

 

<Curry> OH MY GOD!!  THE BOSTON STRANGLER JUST ANNAHILATED THE HVILLE THUGG WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!  THE CLAN CRONIE JUST SAVED SPIDER FROM AND UNTAMED!!

 

<NTD> That can’t be good for that wound on Thugg’s head.

 

HVT is laid out on the canvas as Spider attempts to catch his breath and……

 

BAM!

 

…another chair shot to the head!!

 

<Curry> WAIT A SECOND!!  STRANGLER JUST HIT HIM AGAIN…

 

BAM!

 

<Curry> AND AGAIN!

 

BAM!

 

<Curry> AND AGAIN!  THE BOSTON STRANGLER IS JUST OPENING UP ON THE HVILLE THUGG WITH THOSE HIDEOUS CHAIR SHOTS!!

 

BAM!

 

Spider, noticing Strangler’s complete and utter destruction of the world champ moves to his underling, places a hand on his shoulder, and whispers something in his hear.  Meanwhile, upon further inspection, the white bandage on Thugg’s head has now become crimson red!

 

<Curry> And I think Strangler has reopened that nasty wound on Thugg’s head!  This is bad…real bad!

 

<NTD> Ok Strangler, enough is enough…

 

That is exactly what Spider must be telling him, but Strangler pulls his shoulder and head away and….

 

BAM!

 

<Curry> ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT!!!  THE BOSTON STRANGLER IS COMPLETELY DESTROYING THE HVILLE THUGG!!

 

BAM!

 

Another chair shot rings off Thugg’s skull, and that’s when the blood begins to flow freely.  Blood covers Thugg’s forehead and begins to trickle down the champ’s face while Spider grabs Strangler’s shoulder again, this time, a bit more forcefully.

 

<Curry> I don’t think even Spider is condoning this.

 

Spider goes to whisper to Strangler again, but TBS pulls away again and…

 

BAM!!

 

ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT!

 

<Curry> OH MY GOD!  THE HVILLE THUGG IS BEING COMPLETELY DECIMATED BY THE BOSTON STRANGLER!!  EVEN SPIDER HIMSELF SEEMS HELPLESS TO STOP IT!

 

Spider grabs Strangler, turns him around, and begins to berate the young clansman.  His words are inaudible but his facial expression shows it all.  Strangler tries to explain himself by pointing at Thugg and making other gestures, but Spider quickly silences him.  Just then, another roar of boos comes from the crowd, and down the ramp runs……THOTH!

 

<Curry> And here comes Thoth!!

 

<NTD> Maybe he can talk some sense into The Boston Strangler!

 

Thoth slides into the ring and stands beside Spider, across from the chair wielding Strangler.  Thoth begins to join in the yelling contest at Strangler, who starts to become just a little pissed off.  Spider points to the chair, points to Thugg, and then points to the referee………………WHO LIFTS HIS HEAD!!!

 

<Curry> WAIT!

 

The referee sees all three men standing in the ring, one holding a steel chair, and sees the Hville Thugg lying in a pool of his own blood on the mat.  The referee immediately calls for the bell…

 

DING DING DING

 

…which sends Strangler into a fit of rage!

 

<Curry> THE REFEREE JUST DISQUALIFIED SPIDER NEKURA!!  HE SAW THE CHAIR…HE SAW STRANGLER…HE SAW THUGG…AND DQed SPIDER!!  

 

Strangler tries to break towards the referee, but is restrained by one hand from Spider and another from Thoth on his chest.  Strangler looks at Spider, looks at Thoth, and then angrily slams the chair down and storms out of the ring.

 

<NTD> What a call!  The referee actually put 2 and 2 together and disqualified Spider.  Oh, Strangler’s gonna get it when they get back to the locker room.

 

<Curry> Well, Strangler doesn’t look to happy himself at the way he was treated by Spider and Thoth.

 

As Strangler leaves the area in a huff, Spider and Thoth both look at each other with concerned disgust.  Spider whispers something, probably sinister, in Thoth’s ear, and Thoth nods in agreement.

 

<Funyon> Your winner, by disqualification…THE HVVIIIILLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE THHHUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

 

<Curry> Well, Thugg wins the match, but the price he had to pay could be tremendous.  He now lays in a pool of his own blood at the hands of the Boston Strangler, and who knows what condition he’ll be in come PPV time.

 

Medical staff emerge on the stage and begin down the ramp as Spider and Thoth leave the ring, but not before Thoth places Spider’s robe on his back.  

 

<Curry> Speaking of which, we’ll find out who the third participant joining Thugg and Grand Slam Mark Stevens in a fight for the world title….TONIGHT!

 

A final shot of the medical staff reaching the ring as Thugg tries to get up is shown, and Storm heads to a commercial.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

<HVT> GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!!

 

HVT leans against an ambulance, holding the left side of his head above his eye, while 5 medics stand around looking concerned.  HVT’s hand his covered in blood that drips to the floor as his wound continues to bleed.  A medic moves in a grabs Thugg’s hand in an attempt to move it away from the wound…

 

<HVT> I SAID GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!  GODDAMMIT!

 

<Medic> Thugg, you need medical attention.  Please, let us have a look at it!

 

<HVT> I’m fine, shit!  Just leave me the fuck alone!

 

<Medic> Come on Thugg, I need to look at it.  You’re losing a lot of blood and you may have a concussion.  You need to let me look at it.

 

HVT stands upright, but staggers a bit…

 

<HVT> Son of a bitch!!!  ARHG!

 

HVT swipes the medic’s hand away once more and lets out a scream of pain as the blood continues to flow, dripping down his arm so that his entire forearm is covered in blood.

 

<Medic> Thugg, you’re bleeding a lot.  I need to look at that wound.  It’s for your own good!

 

<HVT> Don’t tell me what’s for my own good!  I’m fine goddammit.  I’m the Hville mutha fuckin’ Thugg!

 

From the side of the screen, Jay Dawg and Sacred run into view, looking rather concerned.

 

<JD> Thugg!  You alright man?

 

<HVT> Do I fuckin’ look alright?!?

 

The medic turns to Jay Dawg and Sacred…

 

<Medic> Tell him to let us look at it.  He’s losing tons of blood, and I think he has a concussion.

 

<JD> Thugg man, let him look at it.  It could be serious.

 

<HVT> AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!  FUCK!

 

HVT looks over to see a concerned JD and Sacred, and the reluctantly removes his hand from his head, revealing a crimson red bandage on his head.  The medic moves over and carefully removes the bandage causing everyone to gasp at the sight.

 

<Sacred> Holy shit!

 

<JD> Damn man…that shit looks bad.

 

On his forehead, just above his left eye is a gash, comparable to the Grand Canyon.  It looks to be about 2 inches across, and about in inch wide, still bleeding profusely.

 

<Medic> Shit.  Look, we’re gonna have to take him to the hospital.  We need to get this closed up and run some tests.

 

<HVT> Fuck nah!  I ain’t goin’ nowhere!

 

<Medic> Thugg, this is very serious.  That wound it probably the largest I’ve seen, and we need to close it.  We don’t have enough supplies to close it here, and we need to make sure you haven’t suffered a concussion.

 

<JD> Go ahead man, it’ll be alright.

 

<HVT> Goddammit…I said no.  I need to be here to help my nigga Sacred…he’s got a big match tonight.

 

<Sacred> Hey man, don’t worry about me.  I’ll be fine.  I can take it alright by myself.

 

<HVT> But dogg…I’m sayin’…I’m aight.  I’ll be aight.

 

<Medic> Thugg, you’re not alright.  You can’t even stand up on your own power, and you’ve lost more blood than can possibly be healthy.  If we don’t get you to the hospital soon, you could have some serious damage.

 

HVT sighs and pushes himself off the ambulance, but when he walks a few feet, he stumbles to his knees.

 

<Medic> See.

 

<JD> Just go man, we’ll be ok here.

 

<Sacred> Yeah, we’ll be fine.  Jay’s got my back in the match if I need him…it’s going to be fine.  Just go man and get that shit cleaned up.

 

JD and Sacred help HVT back to his feet and start to lead him to the rear of the ambulance.

 

<HVT> Yall sure?  Cause I’m fine…I can stay yo.

 

<Sacred> Yeah man, just go.

 

<HVT> Yeah…aight.  I’ll catch up wit yall lata.  Hit me on the cell and let me know what’s up.

 

<JD> Ok man.  We got it.  I’ll leave my cell on.

 

Two medics open the rear doors to the ambulance and JD helps HVT climb in.  Three medics climb in after him, and HVT gives Sacred a serious look through the crimson mask that used to be his face.

 

<HVT> Yo…wreck dat nigga’s shit tonight!

 

<Sacred> Consider it done bro…now get outta here.

 

From inside, the medics close the door to the ambulance and Sacred and JD walk out of the picture.  Two more doors are head closing followed by the siren, and the ambulance speeds away.  As it pulls away, one man remains…one medic.

 

<Curry> Well, the Hville Thugg has been taken to a medical facility to receive treatment on his wound to his head.  We’ll update you on his status as soon as we hear something.

 

<NTD> Ummm, one question though.  Why didn’t that medic go with the ambulance?

 

<Curry> I have no idea…but let’s just hope that the Hville Thugg is ok, and his injury isn’t terribly serious.

 

<NTD> Hmmm…

 

As NTD scratches his head, SWF Storm cuts to black and heads to commercial.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

"...and we're back to I-" Curry Man begins.

 

"-watch yourself...-"

 

"-SWF! SWF Storm, ladies and gentlemen! What a night we've had so far! We've seen Spider Nekura in action against HVille Thugg, we've seen JD square off against a returning Mistress Sarah, and now we're gonna have a match based completely on revenge..." Curry Man narrates.

 

The camera swirls over to the Smarktron which lights up with a highlight of Smarkdown's sub-main event...

 

All of a sudden, Strangler runs out from the backstage area... he carries a steel chair, and it looks like Prophet is going to be his victim. He sprints down to the ring, and Spider nods his head at him. Spider stands Prophet up, then leans him in the corner. Strangler shakes his head and then... tosses the chair over to Spider! Spider mouths 'thank you' to him, then lines Prophet up in the corner... he begins to take a run at Prophet, but a startling flash eminates from the stage area and draws both men's attention!

 

"U Got It Bad" by Usher kicks up over the loudspeaker, and Laura McClelland starts to stroll down the ramp with a blank stare on her face. She has a microphone in one hand and a tazer in the other! The Clan members sort of stare at each other for a second, and Laura continues her deliberate stroll down the ramp!

 

"What the hell is this? She needs to go back to her locker room, she's pregnant! She can't afford to get hurt!" Curry Man screams.

 

However, she reaches the ring and gets in. Strangler first stops her, but she aims the tazer at him! He starts to go forward with a punch, but stops himself...

 

"What's the matter," She begins, "Can't hit a pregnant woman?"

 

Strangler hesitates, but Laura doesn't! She sticks the tazer on his bare arm and he drops like a fly!

 

"That was on SWF Smarkdown where The Prophet fought Spider Nekura... after Strangler actually did rather kind deed with all things considered. He's having a bad time with the Clan right now, and he ran to help out his leader... but he ended up getting shocked with a tazer by Laura McClelland! Needless to say, he wasn't very happy..." Curry Man states the obvious.

 

"That was the worst English I've ever heard in my life..." NTD jokes.

 

"Shut up, you don't even wear pants, are you some kind of English professor?" Curry Man shoots back.

 

"No, but I can hear, and that was painful..." NTD jokes.

 

"Shut up..." Curry Man musters.

 

"...anyways, you made a good point. Strangler, while he's having problems with the Clan, couldn't have enjoyed that from the Prophet's wife. I would expect him to be mighty pissed off in this match, and that can't bode well for the Enlightened one..." NTD responds.

 

The two anouncers prepare their notes further as the camera shifts around the crowd...

 

"You know, Strangler's problems with the Clan may prove costly tonight..." NTD begins.

 

"You're right, NTD. As if it wasn't enough to be facing a man that dominated him the last time these two guys met, he has to worry about his own stable in a match where they are certain to be involved. I wonder if he's going to try to appease them and become one of the boys again, or if he's going to further his schism with his estranged friends..." Curry Man thinks.

 

All of a sudden, the arena goes dim. “Burn to Burn” by Static-X blares over the system and Strangler, wearing his Clan robe with the hood hanging behind his head, appears on the ramp when the song launches into the harder guitar part!

 

"This match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, making his way to the ring, he weighs in at 291 pounds... from Boston, Massachussets... he is THE BOOOOOSTON STRAAAANGLER!" Funyon annunciates.

 

The crowd boos, but Stranger, in his slow walk down the aisle, ignores them as usual. He brings a steel chain down to the ring with him, just in case, and as he climbs the steps and enters the ring, he begins to pace slowly. He eventually takes off his Clan robe and tosses it out of the ring, and he hands his Hardcore Gamer's title to the referee for him to safely put it out of the ring... Then, rather unexpectedly, he grabs a microphone...

 

"You know, Prophet... I had no problems with you besides the one that Commissioner McWeed asked us to have with you... heh... You seemed like a good enough guy. But, after Smarkdown, I saw how truly honorable you were... you had to get that bitch of yours to come attack me to save your sorry ass! How shitty is that? Your ass is mine tonight. Strangler... has... spoken!"

 

He tosses the microphone out of the ring, and then stands in the center trying to warm himself up...

 

The arena lights drop out and the arena begins to chill... a fine mist begins bellowing out of the stage area, lit from behind by a blood red spotlight... then, out of nowhere, an awfully familiar voice comes out of the loudspeaker...

 

"The Enlightenment is Here..."

 

All of a sudden, a MASSIVE explosion engulfs the arena and multiple shades of red kick up around the stage area and "By Myself", by Linkin Park, kicks up over the loudspeakers! The crowd instantly rises to their feet and boos the radical that is soon to enter the ring... Then, the music seems to pick up even more...

 

"I can't hold on... (to what I want when I'm stretched so thin...)"

"It's all too much to take in..."

"I can't hold on... (to anything watching everything spin...)"

"With thoughts of failure sinking in...

 

All of a sudden, The Prophet emerges from the backstage and the crowd spews an even louder chorus of boos at him!

 

"And his opponent... from Springfield, Virginia, he weighs in at 161 pounds... 'The Prophet' Tyyyler MC-CLELLLLLAND!" Funyon screams.

 

He begins his slow, methodical walk to the ring with his head and eyes down towards the ground. What seems like a frail, unhealthy little man transverses the ramp and finally reaches the ring... He steps inside, drops off his robe and kicks it to the side...

 

"This confrontation is assured to be one of epic proportions! These two men, over the last few weeks, have grown to hate each other with a passion! The Clan and the Enlightenment... by far the biggest mind war ever seen on SWF television!" Curry Man summarizes.

 

Strangler and Prophet begin to size each other up in the middle of the ring when referee Kivell stands between them and starts giving them instructions. They don't even look at the referee as he calls for the bell and begins the match! Instead, they stare each other down for quite a while... with an incredible look of intensity on his face, Strangler takes the first swing! It is a wild, powerful punch that Prophet blocks, but not completely. It ends up glancing off of his arm and making partial contact on his shoulder, but he follows it up with a left jab to Strangler's jaw!

 

Strangler's head pops back a bit, but he returns fire by throwing a heavy left hand! This time, Tyler's block doesn't divert the shot enough to save him much at all, and Strangler's fist goes right into his forehead! Tyler rocks back on his heels and Strangler, smelling the kill, reaches back and delivers an overhand punch that lands right between Tyler's eyes! He rears back even more, and he falls backwards slowly and gracefully... until his head bounces off the mat and the crowd, in shock, watches on without saying a word!

 

"Holy crap, he just knocked Tyler McClelland flat on his back! He just out-punched the most prolific martial artist in the SWF today!" Curry Man raves.

 

"Wow, I'm shocked... he just used brute strength to overpower the Prophet. I haven't seen anybody overpower Tyler like that in a long, long time..." NTD adds.

 

After falling flat on his hindquarters, Tyler McClelland scrambles to get up. However, he is clearly shaken by Strangler, and the bigger man locks him up upon his rise from the mat. Strangler immediately continues to overpower him, and drives him down towards the mat. He then raises him up like a rag doll and, after placing him in a front facelock, lifts him vertically off the mat. He hold him there for a few seconds, letting the blood flow to his head, then drops him down on the mat for a brainbuster! Tyler thunders off the canvas, and Strangler is there immediately to lock on a front headlock...

 

"Strangler has complete control over the quicker Prophet, and he's doing a good job by containing his speed. As long as he can keep Tyler down and in rest holds like he is using right now, he can completely neutralize his speed and wear him out. I think it is very plausable that Strangler can completely dominate this match!" Curry Man analyzes.

 

Strangler holds Tyler down, and the hardcore champion remains in control. After keeping him in this seemingly rest hold, Prophet starts to drip down to the canvas and, it would appear, lose consciousness! Referee Matt Kivell begins to check the Prophet's arm! He raises it up once...

 

It drops!

 

He raises it up a second time...

 

It drops again!

 

He raises it a third, decisive time...

 

 

...

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

The lights drop out, and nobody can see what happens!

 

 

 

"What the..."

 

When they turn back on, Laura McClelland is standing in the middle of the ring! Strangler let Prophet go during the darkness for some reason, and Tyler McClelland seems to be sitting with his back against the right turnbuckle... Strangler quickly approaches Laura in the middle of the ring...

 

"You know, my friend, you've tried once to hit me and you couldn't... can you do it? Can you hit a pregnant woman?" Laura smiles.

 

Strangler still looks incredibly confused. Then, Laura's right hand comes into view... holding the same taser that took Strangler down last time! Strangler's eyes light up, and he rears back to swing...

 

 

...Laura ducks...

 

 

...and out of nowhere, the Savior DECKS Strangler with a chair!!

 

"Where the hell did he come from?!?" Curry Man screams.

 

"It was an ambush!" NTD hollers.

 

Strangler drops to his knees in the middle of the ring, then falls down! As Savior walks over to the Prophet and stands him up, the bell rings and signifies the end of the match! Prophet has a look of distinct confusion on his face... All of a sudden, Spider Nekura runs out from the backstage area, sprints into the ring, and clears the Enlightenment out!

 

"The winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification... The Boston Strangler!"

 

However, the music that plays isn't that of the Clan... "By Myself" by Linkin Park signifies a successful ambush by the slippery Enlightenment!

 

"What the hell was this? What could have been a great match was turned into a dud due to some crafty workings by the Savior!" Curry Man reports.

 

"Oh, I think I know what they were doing..." NTD alludes.

 

In the ring, Spider picks Strangler off the mat... but is met by a stiff shove from Strangler! The two start giving each other heated words in the center of the ring!!

 

"Where the hell were you when I was getting this steel chair driven into my skull? I try to be civil... I was going to try to let bygones be bygones and get back to business... but you flat out abandon me like this? Why are we even fighting these fuckers? Some wish of Stubby McWeed? I'm tired of doing this crap for everyone... Strangler has spoken, and I've had enough of this shit!" Strangler screams.

 

Spider nods his head and starts to walk away... but turns around and unleashes a wicked side kick! However, it misses! Strangler delivers a knee to the gut of Spider, then lifts him up...

 

"LAST BREATH ON THE CLAN'S LEADER! OH MY GOD!" Curry Man screams.

 

"Burn to Burn" by Static X kicks up over the loudspeaker as the crowd erupts in cheers for the Boston Strangler!

 

"What a turn of events! A successful ambush by the Enlightenment drives a further stake into the Clan! We'll be back right after these messages!" NTD shills.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

HVT sits hunched over in the back of the Emergency Vehicle.  Even inside a large ambulance, his form is too wide and WAY too tall to ride comfortably, so he bears it like a Thugg should- complainingly.

 

“Man, this is Bullsh*t…”  Thugg lightly pounds one of the Ambulance walls, alone in his new cave.  A man this big isn’t exactly bright enough to find it strange that there are no Paramedics riding with him.  Then again, Thugg is so extremely LARGE, that another person probably wouldn’t fit in the compartment with him, so his EMT is probably in the front passenger seat!  “I’mma kill that n*gga!” he growls loudly, knocking over a tube and spilling its contents, probably just water, onto the floor.

 

It isn’t much longer before the vehicle comes to a halt!  Thugg hears the driver’s side door open, and lets out a ghetto sigh of relief.

 

“Finally!  Yo, open dis door, cuz.”

 

The door does not open.  And the only thing he can hear, is the sounds of metal on metal!

 

“Unlock this mo’ f*cka, dogg!”

 

But no answer!

 

“Yo, let me OUT, or I will straight…”

 

“… Wreck- my- sh*t?” is the interruption!  Unfortunately, it is a voice that Thugg recognizes!  And the arena, watching on the SmarkTron, recognizes that same voice!

 

“NO!” Thugg screams!  He pushes with all of his might against the back doors, but is too late!  They don’t budge!  By the time the outside camera turns on and gets the shot, everyone is already cheering!  It’s Xstasy!  And he’s bolted the back doors to the Ambulance shut with an iron crowbar!!  HVT looks out of the rear window with malice, packed in the cramped space like a sardine in a can, as X smiles cockily, a bandage on his head to match Thugg’s.

 

“What’s up, patna?  Long time no see…”

 

“Yo, X, don’t be playin’.  Open dis door right now so I can bust your grill wide open!”

 

“I don’t think so, D!”

 

“Then I’mma have to come out there after you…”

 

“Uh uh uhhh…” X says, wagging his finger.  “I want you in there for a reason!  You see, if I open that door, you’ll run, like the little pink paisley beeyatch that you are.  You’ll call up Jobber Dawg and Stinkred, get them to pick you up, and then you’ll high tail it back to the arena to interrupt my match for the number one contendership to YOUR title… and I don’t feel like chasing you down anymore!”

 

“You ain’t got to chase me down playa.  Just bring it…”

 

“Heh heh… bring it, huh?  What X-actly do you think I was doing at the top of the show?  I called you out, fat ass, and you never showed.  You sent Jay.  Why?  Because you’re a pussy, straight up.  You always have run, and you always will run, and that’s how you always will be.  You weren’t man enough to face me then, and you aren’t man enough to face me now.”

 

“Yo, for real cuz, don’t ever question my manhood…”

 

“NO!  I don’t question your manhood… I just question your sexual orientation!  I know you have a crush on Sacred, just admit it!  Come out of the closet… or in this case… the Ambulance!”

 

Thugg angrily pushes on the door, but it holds, and X chuckles…

 

“Yo man, how were we ever boys back in the day.  This is all you do… use people.  You try to intimidate them.  You try to shake down, but when it comes down to it, when its time for the nitty gritty… you run!  Just answer me this one question, how can somebody so big, have such small, miniscule, insignificant BALLS!!!”  Thugg struggles to open the door again, but X continues.  “What the hell happened?  Were you always like this… or did something make you this way?”

 

“Yo, don’t go there, aiight!  Just don’t go there… you know exactly what happened, cuz…”

 

“No I don’t!!  That’s my whole point, I have amnesia!”

 

“You know!  You REMEMBER that sh*t!  You know what it was like in the ghetto of DC, and in H-Ville!  Five Double O mob coming after us every day!  Running from the cops.  And if they don’t get you, the streets get you!  Yo man, it was a battle for survival!  I ain’t never going back to that!  You gotta eat, or be eaten, dogg!  You used to understand that, but now you just a punk ass n*gga wit his dreads wound too tight!”

 

“Is that for real?”

 

“Yeah, that IS!”

 

“Now let me tell you something… ‘DOGG!’  Friends don’t RUN OVER their friend’s dreams!”

 

“What are you talking…”

 

“You KNOW what I’m talking about!  If we was boys, we wouldn’t even be going through all this!  And you know why!!”

 

“A n*gga gotta do what he gotta do!”

 

“Yeah, and that’s why I gotta do this…”

 

X starts to walk away, as Thugg shouts at him through the window…

 

“YO!”  X turns as Thugg continues.  “When I get out this joint, you are going to be sorry you were ever born.”

 

X shrugs off the meaning and smiles brightly.

 

“I know.  That’s why you’re not getting out of there at all.”

 

“What are you…”

 

“You think I’m stupid?  I know you can get out of there, it’s only a matter of time.  I didn’t bring you out here to make you mad, I brought you out here to make sure you didn’t interfere in my match, to make sure that it was me and you at that Pay Per View, to make sure you had to defend your title against ME!  And that’s what’s gonna happen…”

 

X disappears to the side, and a lack of side windows leaves Thugg without much visibility.

 

“Yo, get back here, cuz, I ain’t finished witcho ass…”

 

Thugg pushes on the door for a full five minutes, barely hearing the humm of heavy machinery operating nearby!  Suddenly, the Ambulance seems to lurch upwards!

 

“What the…”

 

And then, HVT’s stomach drops as the horizon seems to get lower, and lower… and the ambulance itself begins rising into the air!

 

“What the hell!!  Get me outta dis mo f*cka!!!  You b*tch ass…”

 

The crowd cheers as the cameras cut to far, and Thugg’s predicament is seen!  The ambulance is being lifted by a HUGE suspension crane with a magnetic attatchment at the contstruction site where the Emergency Vehicle is parked!  And at the helm of that crane, is the Perfect Drug!!

 

“See ya later, McFly!”

 

When satisfied with the height of well over 150 feet in the air, X turns off the controls, and gets out of the seat, while HVT continues to swear!

 

“Oh, so you just gonna drop me like that?  Can’t see me in the ring, so you got to take me out at this height, huh?  Where the hell is his ass?  Too pussy to drop me, b*tch…?”

 

But his words fall on deaf ears!  A car approaches, picks up Xstasy, and drives back to the arena, while the Ambulance swings high above the ground!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SWF Storm returns from a commercial break to the sold out venue in Kalamazoo, Michigan!  Kalamazoo, Michigan?  That's right, even small cities get to host the incredible Smarks Wrestling Federation every now and then!  The crowd is pumped for the event, and even the announcers seem excited to be there!  "Welcome back to SWF Storm!" exclaims Curry Man.  "We've had a great show here so far, and the best is yet to come!"

 

All the lights in the arena wink out, causing a hushed silence to fall over the crowd, who waits impatiently in anticipation for what is to come.

 

CRACK!

 

The audience explodes with applause as the crack of a baseball bat sounds over the arena speakers.  The SWFTron lights up with intertwined baseball and wrestling video highlights as "Born Bad" by the Gone Jackals echoes through the arena.  More cheers erupt as red and white pyrotechnic explosions go off at the top of the entrance ramp, and when all the smoke clears, a pair of SWF wrestlers wait underneath the SWFTron, and Funyon announces their entrance as they begin to walk down the ramp.

 

"The following contest is a TORNADO TAG TEAM match scheduled for ONE fall!" shouts Funyon.  "First, making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 559 pounds... the team of LONGDOGGER PETE and 'GRAND SLAM' MAAAARK STEEEEEEVENS!"

 

Former SWF World champion "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens walks down the ramp, dressed in jeans, a gray T-shirt that reads "MVP," and a baseball cap with the Midnight Carnival logo emblazoned on the front.  Peter MacDougal, better known as newcomer Longdogger Pete, is dressed in tattered jean shorts and a Hawaiian floral print shirt, left unbuttoned on top to expose a portion of his chest.  The unlikely teammates slap hands on the way down to the ring, and as both members slide into the ring, Stevens waves his cap in the air, tossing it into the audience for one lucky fan.

 

"Well, folks," begins Curry, "it's an unusual matchup tonight, but it looks like the first team in our tornado match consists of impressive newcomer Longdogger Pete, as well as Midnight Carnival member 'Grand Slam' Mark Stevens!"

 

"This isn't the first time LDP has teamed up with a Midnight Carnival member," says NTD.  "In his debut match, Pete teamed up with El Luchador Magnifico in a surprise win over Fallout and The Boston Strangler of the Clan!"

 

The lights dim again and "Battleflag" by the Lo-Fidelity All-Stars floats through the arena.  The SWFTron lights up again with fading images of grey silhouettes in various positions.  As this happens, a familiar British voice begins speaking over a microphone.

 

"Well, what do I see here?  My own stablemate... and a rookie from the Junior League?  Is THIS the only competition you can come up with tonight for your ICTV champion, for the Crown Prince of Flash and Panache?  Why, my sock collection isn't as mismatched!  Well, if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!  I aim to please, and pleased to aim, and tonight all you Kalamazooligans will be entertained more than a three-legged monkey on a unicycle!"

 

"Battleflag" continues to play, and a pair of blue spotlights begin swinging across the entrance in time with the beat of the music.  As the vocals kick up, two red pyrotechnic pillars explode from either side of the entrance, and red and gold disco lights flash throughout the arena.  Out comes the fan favorite, stepping onto the ramp, clad in his trademark red trenchcoat and wearing an SWF title belt around his waist.

 

"And their opponents," announces Funyon.  "First, from Amsterdam, England, weighing in at 239 pounds, he is the SWF Intercontinental Television Champion... EDWIIIIIN MACPHIIIIISTOOOOOOOO!"

 

Edwin MacPhisto smiles as he takes in the audience chants of "MAC-PHIS-TO!  MAC-PHIS-TO!"  He runs down the ramp and slides into the ring, shrugging off his vinyl trench coat and removing the ICTV title belt, which he hands off to Funyon.  He awaits the arrival of his tag team partner, staring back at the entrance as his music fades away.

 

"Quarantined" by At The Drive In begins playing as the lights turn a dark blue.  Images of Thoth and his matches appear on the SWFTron as the audience starts jeering.  The beat of the entrance music picks up suddenly, and the blue lights switch to red.  Thoth appears on the entrance ramp, dressed in his traditional Clan robe.

 

"His tag team partner," says Funyon, "weighing in at 236 pounds... he is one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions... THOOOOOOOTH!"

 

Thoth quickly pulls off the Clan robe and begins running down the ramp toward the ring.  Without a moment's hesitation, he slides into the ring, stands up, and begins pounding away at Edwin MacPhisto's chest!  The Crown Prince of Flash and Panache is stunned by Thoth's surprise assault, and tries to mount whatever defense he can.

 

"What the?" wonders NTD.  "Thoth's attacking his own partner!"

 

"Well, NTD," replies Curry, "you were there on Smarkdown.  Thoth made an unsuccessful bid at Edwin's ICTV title.  You don't think he'd harbor just a little bit of a grudge here tonight?"

 

Mark Stevens and Longdogger Pete both climb back into the ring to take on Thoth, the two men ripping the Clan member away from Edwin MacPhisto.  Funyon quickly gets the hell out of dodge, and the referee calls for the bell.

 

DING DING DING!

 

The match officially begins.  Thoth charges right at MacPhisto but LDP wants a little piece and steps in his way!!  Grand Slam and MacPhisto shrug and lock up on the other side of the ring!!  Grand Slam and MacPhisto jockey for position and finally Edwin pulls Grand Slam into a side headlock, and immediately breaks the hold!!  Grand Slam stands up with a smile on his face and starts comlimenting Edwin on the nice move.  Their chat is friendly and demonstrative, as both use their hands to describe how brilliant a maneuver it was.

 

"What in the blue hell are they doing?" asks NTD.

 

"They are great admirers of each others work!  Besides, what did you expect them to do, fight?"

 

"Well, yes!!  They are wrestlers for God's sake!!!"

 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, LDP has managed to swing behind Thoth and starts to lift him up and over for a German Suplex, but Thoth wraps his right leg around LDP's and blocks the move!  LDP tries again, but Thoth is ready!!  He blocks with the leg again, reaches oiver his shoulder, catches LDP by the back of the head and drops to the mat, nailing a stunner!!  On fire, Thoth spins around and sees Grand Slam and Edwin chatting across the ring.  With an astute smile, he pulls LDP off the mat and into a front facelock!!  LDP plants his feet, wraps his arms around Thoth's waist and rears back, planting Thoth into the mat with a hard Northern Lights!!  LDP gets to his feet and wastes no time pulling Thoth to his.  Chop!!!  (Whoo!!  Chop!!!  (Whoo!!  and Thoth is backed into the corner!!  LDP charges in, but gets a boot for his trouble!!  LDP drops back to the mat and Thoth is all over him with nasty kicks and stomps!!!

 

NTD is charged up tonight!  "Well, at least the rookie and Thoth are giving us a good match!!  I'd think Edwin and Grand Slam have more professional pride than this!!"

 

Curry responds, "Well, there is some bad blood between the Carnies and the Clan, and I doubt is Edwin is willing to do so much as take a bump to help Thoth."

 

LDP is reeling under the nasty assault by Thoth!!  The well-miked ring picks him up yelling, "Hey... (kick)   Guys... (stomp)  A little (kick)...  help... (two kicks) would rock!!!"  Thoth pulls LDP off the mat, but his plea does not reach deaf ears!!  In the other corner, Grand Slam and Edwin break off their conversation and pull a pair of dice out of their trunks!!!

 

"Oh, you have got to be kidding," NTD says.

 

A quick roll and it appears as if Edwin has won!!  He marches out into the center of the ring just as Thoth is readying LDP for the Riot of the Blood!!  He has LDP, who is fighting it, upside down and is ready to drop, when Edwin grabs the back of his hair and pulls him to the mat!!!  The crowd explodes!!!

 

NTD is screaming, "DQ!!!!  DQ!!!!"

 

And as always, Curry is the voice of reason.  "For what?  Nothing in the rules about turning on your tag partner.  Something Thoth should have thought about before agreeing to this match."

 

Edwin pulls Thoth off the mat after a couple of tenderizing stomps and whips him hard into the ropes!! Bounce back, Edwin ducks under a Thoth clothesline, but LDP is right there, sweeping Thoth off the mat and dropping back to reality with the massive Musclehead Slam!!!  The crowd is going insane!!!  LDP, smiling from ear to ear, pulls a barely-there Thoth off the mat and delivers a nasty back elbow to his temple that spins him around... Right into MacPhisto!!  The Clown Prince is ready for him, hooks his arms... lifts him up... Encore Cross!!!  Thoth slams down into the mat!!!

 

NTD is apoplectic now, nearly foaming at the mouth!!!  "This is a gang rape!!!  This is a mugging!!  This is..."

 

"Exactly what the Clan would have done, given the chance!"  Curry finishes.

 

"No way!!  And speaking of the Clan, where the heck are they while Thoth is getting his teeth kicked in?"

 

"Probably in back watching!"  Curry is amused by the thought.  "The Clan has=ve a weird system of tough love..."

 

Thoth is barely able to stay upright as Edwin hauls him to his feet and spins him around in front of Grand Slam!!  The former World Champion takes a moment to consider Thoth, then drives the nastiest toe-kick in the business right into the stomach of Thoth!!  The Clannie doubles over!!  Grand Slam pulls him into a standing head-scissors and swings his right arm above his head, signaling for the Walk-Off!!!   The crowd is screaming now, enjoying watching good triumph over evil!!  Grand Slam hooks the arms, jumps in the air... WHAM!!!

 

Curry is screaming out his trademark, "Walk-Off!!!  Walk-Off!!!  Walk-Off!!" as NTD suffers silently.

 

Grand Slam flips Thoth over and makes the pin.  The ref drops to the mat...

 

1... 2... 3!!!!

 

NTD is beyond indignant, "This was a travesty of a match!!  This wasn;t a tornado tag, this was a handicap match!!!"

 

Curry smiles, "And it was brilliant!!"

 

In the ring, Grand Slam and LDP roll Thoth out of the ring while Edwin grabs a microphone.   "Hello again to you revelers of the night!  The MacDaddy is here and he has some things to say!!  A while back, The Clan decided that we were their next targets, that the Carnival would go down in flames and never be seen again!!  They called us an affront to their beliefs!  They called us blasphemers and clowns and, worse of all, they called us ... I can't say it... (fake sobbing)"

 

Grand Slam walks over and puts his arm around Edwin, saying something quietly to him.  In the corner, LDP watches this display with a bewildered look on his face, probably wondering if he should bolt now, or stay and enjoy the show.

 

"Thanks Mark," Edwin continues.  "They called us... JOBBERS!!!  The horror... the horror!!!"  The crowd is laughing now, and so is the Heavy Hitter.  "Well, I think we proved them wrong.  The Carnival is still in business baby!!!  (Huge Pop)  And business is great!!!  (another huge pop)  At the end of the day, we still have the greatest Light-Heavyweight Champion EVAR!!!  We still have the current, and two-time, ICTV Crown Prince of Flash and Panache.  And we have the most decorated champion in SWF History, the Heavy Hitter himself, Grand Slam!!  (The crowd is into the promo now, cheering everything Edwin has to say)  So what do I have to say to The Clan?  Nice try boys, but don't you know that when the Carnival is in town, YOU CAN'T STOP THE PARTY!!!!!  (Massive poppage)  But there is something that ends, right here and right now!  We have wasted too much of our drinking and card-playin' time on these fashion disasters called Da Cwan!!!  So as far I am concerned, thus endeth the lesson!!!"

 

As the crowd roars its approval of the victory speech, "Love Rollercoaster" hits the PA system!!  Grand Slam and Edwin leave the ring, sucking up the cheers of the crowd, faces beaming.  A few steps behind them is Longdogger Pete, a little worried that he might get sucked into the whirlpool of insanity that is the Midnight Carnival!!

 

"I still say this was a crappy match!!" NTD says.

 

"I have to agree, not much of a match, but then again, who expected one with the chips sop stacked against Thoth?  Not me!!"  Curry answers.

 

The last shot before the commercial break is an image of the two Carnies celebrating at the top of the ramp to the delight of the crowd!!!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

The SWF Storm music was never louder, the cheers never greater, and the signs never held higher!  Even after hours of sports entertainment, everyone in the arena screams in deafening anticipation for the next contest.  Which can only mean one thing:  It’s main event time!

 

>NTD “At last, our final match of the night!  And I’m glad, my feet are tired!”

 

>Curry “Your feet?”

 

>NTD “I’ve been on them all night!  This color commentary stuff is hard work!”

 

>Curry “You’ve been sitting in a cushioned chair all night, NTD.”

 

>NTD “Oh, its not that.  It’s just that I decided to go shoeless as well as pantless, so my tootsies are cold!z’

 

>Curry “I was wondering what that distinct funk was emanating from under the table…”

 

>NTD “What was that?”

 

>Curry “Nevermind… well, ladies and gents, its time for the biggest main event since… well, in awhile!”

 

>NTD “You said it, my heterosexual life-mate!  Brutality galore, blood, sweat, guts, and boobs!”

 

>Curry “Not the man boobs again!”

 

>NTD “Who said anything about man boobs!  You must be straddling the fence…”

 

>Curry “I am not…”

 

>NTD “It’s okay, Curry, you wanna come out of the closet on national television, be my guest…”

 

>Curry “NTD!”

 

NTD continues to taunt while the lights go to dark, and the crowd hushes…

 

CRACK!!!

 

>Crowd “RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

 

>NTD “Hey!”

 

“Born Bad” sounds over the speakers, and as the multicolored lights flash, both Curry and NTD look confused.

 

>Curry “What’s he doing here?”

 

>NTD “He’s not in this match…”

 

Bright light FLOODS the arena, and red and white pyro shoots off at the top of the ramp, exploding loudly, and sending the people into a popping frenzy!  When the smoke from the explosion dissipates, there is the Heavy Hitter, on the stage!

 

>Funyon “Ladies and Gentlement… GRAND SLAM MARK STE-VENS!!!”

 

Mark races down the entry ramp, waving to fans on either side, before slowing down and making his way around the ring, and over to the announce table.

 

>Curry “I think the former two-time Champ is joining us at ringside, NTD!”

 

>NTD “Whoop-de-doo… as if this night couldn’t get any worse!”

 

>Curry “Well if you’d just put some socks on, you’d solve half the problem!”

 

Some nearby fans slap Grand Slam on the back as he gets around the table and sits down next to NTD, grabbing a free headset!  But even as he is welcomed to the announce table by Curry, the crowd noise rises with a sudden blast over the speakers…

 

“UNO!  DOS!  TRES!  QUATRO!!!”

 

Orange pyro goes off with each word, followed by “Mission Trip to Mexico!”  The nights first competitor emerges from the curtain, and the crown noise is deafening!  He waves his Mexican flag back and forth, smiling!

 

DING DING DING

 

>Funyon “The following contest is a DOUBLE JEOPARDY MATCH, and it is for the number one contendership of the SWF WORLD TITLE!!!  In the first bracket, introducing contestant number one, from Mexico City, weighing in at 190 pounds… EL LUCHADOOOOOOOORE… MAAAAAAAAAG-NIFICOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

The crowd gives and echo of “IF-I-COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” as ELM gives high fives to fans on either side of the ramp and slides in, dropping his flag!  He climbs to the second turnbuckle, and pumps his fist while the crowd cheers!

 

>Curry “ELM is introduced, and like I said before, here’s Mark Stevens to join us for commentary!”

 

>GSMS “Glad to be here guys, just wanted to give some Carnie support to my little buddy in there!”

 

>NTD “Little buddy?  So you guys are MORE than friends?”

 

>Curry “Show our guest some respect, NTD!  Remember… he can kick your ass!”

 

>NTD “He can kiss my ass?  That’s it, I can’t work with your kind around!”

 

>GSMS “What the hell is he on, Curry?”

 

>Curry “No idea my friend… but what’s your take on ELM being in this matchup, Stevens?”

 

>GSMS “Well, Magnifico is the only guy in this thing that’s already held the belt, and I know what its like to hold it, and lose it… what its like to go through withdrawal!  And because of that, I’m picking my fellow Carnival member to take this one!  I don’t know how, but he’s gonna do it!”

 

Magnifico gives Mark a thumbs up sign, which Stevens returns, before the lights go out, and “Scum of the Earth” begins to play!  A HUGE explosion rocks the entry stage, eliciting BOOs from the crowd, and faint green lights illuminate the arena.  Fallout enters through the curtain, and walks purposefully down the ramp, showered with boos, but not really caring.  He grips his LHW title over his shoulder as Funyon speaks…

 

>Funyon “And his opponent, from Phoenix, Arizona… weighing in at 185 pounds…  He IS the SWF Light Heavyweight Champion… FALL-OUUUUUT!!!”

 

>NTD “A very talented competitor, and a member of the Clan!  I pick him to win!”

 

>Curry “No doubt about it, Fallout’s record is the stuff of legend!”

 

>NTD “He even beat Magnifico just a little while ago in a Light Heavyweight Title match!”

 

>GSMS “I don’t think you can call that match fair!”

 

NTD sticks his tongue out at the heavy hitter while Curry tries to make peace…

 

>Curry “Well, this match is gonna be much different!  Fallout has two other incredible competitors to worry about!”

 

>NTD “Oh yeah, we forgot to explain the rules…”

 

>Curry “Well, as Fallout climbs into the ring, we’ll do just that… in the Double Jeopardy Match, there are two brackets!  Only members of the same bracket can pin each other…”

 

>NTD “But anybody can beat down whoever they want!”

 

>Curry “Once someone gets a pin, their bracket is removed, until the other bracket gets a winner as well, and then the two winners meet in the ring for a final showdown!”

 

>NTD “Three falls, one winner… this is gonna be a long night!”

 

>GSMS “Long, but good, in my opinion.  All of these guys can put on a great show, though if you ask me, Fallout doesn’t deserve to be here, the Clan’s behavior is ridiculous!”

 

Fallout stands in the center of the ring, his title in front of him on the canvas!  As he lifts his arms to the sky, green pyro BURSTS behind him!  When all is settled, he removes his clan robe, and the ref enters, tossing the robe and belt outside, and separating the two competitors!

 

>NTD “We’re only half full!”

 

BONG!!

 

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

>Curry “Here comes Mr. ‘Evil’…”

 

A wicked choir sings weird tunes as the arena goes dark!  The people hush with anticipation in the darkness, until suddenly… “Season’s In The Abyss” replaces the dark chorus, and a single blue spotlight illuminates the entryway!  There stands Sacred, his eyes flitting back and forth, and he walks slowly to the ring!

 

>GSMS “What’s with this guy?”

 

>Funyon “In the second bracket, introducing first from Adelaide, Australia, weighing in at 231 pounds… SAAAA-CREDDDD!!!”

 

More boos sound as Sacred walks around the ring and climbs up the steel ringside steps and onto the turnbuckle, stopping there and meditating, as ELM and Fallout stay eye-locked with each other!

 

>Curry “You can feel the talent and intensity radiating from the ring tonight!  What an incredible contest!  Someone’s life will change right here!”

 

>GSMS “A World Title shot can be the pinnacle of your career!  The only way to get any higher is to win it, and I know that feeling!”

 

>NTD “Man, all of these guys want it so bad!  It all comes down to which one will have the drive… the heart!!”

 

Fallout climbs down into the ring, and stands apart from the first bracket, as the ref explains certain rules to them…

 

“… and I want you!!!”

 

The crowd, quite literally, X-plodes!

 

“… and I want you!!!”

 

>Curry “Speaking of Heart!!”

 

>NTD “He’s Heeeeeere…”

 

“… and I want you!!!”

 

The light flashes in strobe, and golden sparks shower down onto the entryway!

 

“… and I WANT YOU!!!!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG!!!”

 

The men scream, and the ladies squeal at the site of a dark silhouette, projected by BRILLIANT white light from the entryway!  The vision gives way to flashing amber and white lights all over the arena, as the pop swells indomitably, and the Perfect Drug, complete with cocky smirk, stands at the top of the ramp!

 

>Curry “Listen to that reaction!”

 

>Funyon “And HIS opponent, from the Nation’s Capital, weighing in at 211 pounds… he is the SWF United States Champion… X-STASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

 

X polishes his title as he swaggers down the ramp, winking at nearby ladies, and then turning his gaze to the ring.

 

>NTD “Whaddya think of this li’l guy, Grand Slam?”

 

>GSMS “A really versatile competitor, I’ve wrestled with him before, and I know he’s got what it takes talent wise… the question is- is he focused enough?”

 

>Curry “Good point, Grand Slam, the youngster seems to be hell bent on destroying the H-Ville Thugg, but business at hand has never been a strong point for him!”

 

X hops the top rope, and goes to the turnbuckle, holding up his title in the sign of the X!  He climbs down, and repeats on the opposite side, looking back and daring any of his opponents to interrupt him from giving his people all the Joy of X!  The Drug hands his title to an attendant, and stands squared off with Sacred, squinting his eyes and cocking an eyebrow at the Pound member.

 

>NTD “That’s everybody…”

 

>GSMS “Man, I should probably be shaking in my boots right now!  Any of these guys would be a challenge, I can’t wait for the Pay Per View!”

 

DING DING DING

 

>Curry “And they’re off!”

 

The bell is like a timer that sets of the inevitable explosion!  The competitors race forth, ELM going for Fallout, and X going for Sacred!  Both Mags and Xstasy are rocking the house with punches, and causing their opponent’s to reel!  They get a double whip, and on the rebound, both flyers leap up, wrap the calves around their opponents’ heads, and drop them to the mat in a flipping motion!!

 

>Curry “Double Hurricanrana!  Xstasy and El Luchadore clearly want to dominate these early exchanges!”

 

>GSMS “Those two guys often think alike… Luchadores in their own way!”

 

X raises Sacred, and whips him to the ropes, charging in and nailing a double footed wheel kick!  Meanwhile, ELM also whips his opponent, Sticking Fallout to the turnbuckle!  But as Mags charges in, The Scum leaps off of the second rope, turns, and slaps on a DDT, circling completely before bringing El Luchadore to the canvas headfirst!

 

>NTD “There he goes, Fallout with that big offense!”

 

>GSMS “C’mon Mags, get up!”

 

Magnifico is trying to heed Mark’s words, but Fallout begins stomping him down, and climbs the top rope!  Meanwhile, X charges Sacred, getting tossed over the ropes, but he lands feet first on the apron!  The Pound Member turns around, only to be kicked in the side by the US Champion, who SPRINGS himself over the rope and presses Sacred down with a cross body!

 

>Curry “There’s a cover by X…”

 

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>NTD “Sacred gets the shoulder up!”

 

>GSMS “X impresses me with his agility, but it’ll take more than that to put me down.”

 

>Curry “That’s right, the winner here might end up being your worst threat, Grand Slam.

 

>GSMS “Right now, I’m gonna worry about Thugg.”

 

>NTD “As we all should… when we eat, when we sleep… when we tuck our children in at night… always Beware the Thugg!”

 

Meanwhile Fallout launches himself from the top rope, and comes down with his legs extended!  Too bad ELM rolls out of the way, and leaves the Clan member to hit the mat BUTT-first!  BAMMM!!!

 

>Curry “Nobody home for the missile leg drop, and Mags is up!”

 

El Luchadore immediately backflips and lands in a Standing Moonsault, pressing Fallout against the mat as the ref makes another count.

 

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>GSMS “AAARRGG…”

 

>NTD “No way, that kind of finish won’t defeat Fallout!”

 

Sacred is now risen, and lands some hard chops to X’s chest!  But X turns it around and begins landing jab after jab to Sacred’s body and face!  Sacred blocks one, a good guess, and is able to whip his smaller enemy to the ropes!  On the rebound, he grabs the wrist, wraps it around, and brings it down, causing X to fall to the mat HARD!  Sacred punctuates his patented move with a hard standing leg drop!

 

>NTD “Knifey Spooney!!”

 

>Curry “And a leg drop to boot… cover!”

 

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>GSMS “NO DICE!  Good for X!”

 

>Curry “He’s still got fuel in the tank on this one, Mark.”

 

>NTD “X has always got fuel… IN BED!!”

 

Now it’s Fallout’s turn to do some damage!  Rising from Magnifico’s cover, he reverses a whip, and sends ELM to the turnbuckle, immediately running in and grabbing him in a waistlock!  He lifts up, sending Mags overhead, and nails a HUGE…

 

>NTD “GERMAN SUPLEX!”

 

>Curry “He’s holding on… PINFALL…”

 

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KICKOUT!!!  Magnifico rises, only to be floored by a HARD Dropkick from Fallout!  The 185 pounder immediately takes to the top turnbuckle, launching himself off, and executing a perfect moonsault, which CONNECTS!!!

 

>Curry “A little bit of Magnifico’s own medicine there…”

 

>NTD “He’s hooked the leg!”

 

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Mags kicks out, and Grand Slam wipes his brow.

 

>GSMS “Nobody does it like Magnifico!”

 

>NTD “Does WHAT exactly?”

 

>GSMS “High flying.  Much like nobody kicks an anouncer’s BUTT like me…”

 

Grand Slam smiles at NTD, who gulps and lowers his head as Curry laughs!  But back in the ring, Sacred and Xstasy are engaged in an all out brawl!  The larger man takes The Drug down, and pummels him with some hard rights, but not long after, X is able to roll over, and get on top of Sacred!  They both get up, untangle their arms and legs, and immediately go at it again!  But X grabs Sacred’s arms, backrolls, and kicks his victim overhead!  Sacred lands on the mat with a hard SLAM, and X rises!

 

>Curry “Flip Suplex there!”

 

>NTD “How come nobody ever cheers for me like that?”

 

>Curry “Because you have the charisma of a pantless sloth.”

 

>NTD “But all sloths are pantless…”

 

>Curry “I rest my case.”

 

>NTD “Well, this pantless sloth can draw a better pop than you anyday, you beefy spicy Jerk!”

 

>Curry “No way.  I mean, who doesn’t want an extra kick in their stew, or some pick up in their bar-b-cue?”

 

>GSMS “Good point…”

 

>Curry “Which reminds me to plug my brand new Curry Spice Bah-buh-cue sawce…”

 

>NTD “Oh lord, I’m gonna be sick!”

 

Curry explains the positive side of grilling condiments while ELM gets whipped to an opposite turnbuckle!  X and Sacred are nearby, and X knocks Sacred down with a hard spinning kick!  Just then, he sees Fallout charging ELM, and steps in between them!  The Drug drops down, scissors the leg, and brings Fallout to the mat face first!  Magnifico immediately scales the turnbuckle, and as X rolls the Clannie over, leaps HIGH off of the buckle, and drops down front first onto Fallout!  The mat shakes with the hit, and X rises!

 

>GSMS “Frogsplash!!  Great assist from X, and Mags completes the maneuver!  That ability to finish is gonna win him this one!”

 

>Curry “It’s not over yet…”

 

Magnifico covers…

 

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WHAMM!!!  Out of nowhere, Sacred flies by and nails ELM in the back of the head with a flying forearm, breaking up the pin!

 

>Curry “Wow, they’re treating this like a tag match, great assist from Sacred, and Fallout’s still in this one!”

 

X immediately launches himself off of the second rope, and flies forward for a springboard roundhouse, which Sacred DUCKS!!!  He stomps on X a few times, and turns back to Magnifico, but those precious seconds set him up!  Mags hooks him in a chickenwing, positions his head, and drops down, ramming Sacred with…

 

>GSMS “Montezuma’s Revenge!  Good look by Magnifico!”

 

>NTD “This kind of double team action just isn’t fair!”

 

>Curry “In the Double Jeopardy match, you’ve got to find the right strategy, NTD!”

 

>NTD “They should use my strategy, take off your pants and wow your opponent with a little gyration…”

 

>Curry “Well, you’ll definitely wow them with a LITTLE something…”

 

>NTD “What was that?”

 

>GSMS “It’s Fallout!”

 

The Scum is now up, and grabs onto X from behind for a German, but X hooks the leg with his own ankle, and stops him!  Fallout immediately lets go, and spins the drug around, who tries to ram a knee into this new enemy!  The Clannie grabs the leg, and takes X down in a Dragon Screw!

 

>Curry “Great ring sense by Fallout!”

 

But before he can celebrate, Magnifico appears from behind, springing off of the top rope, and driving Fallout’s head to the mat after twisting around his body!!

 

>GSMS “There’s the reverse Tornado DDT!”

 

>Curry “…and here’s the cover!”

 

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NO!  Once more, Sacred interrupts the count, this time driving an elbow into the head of ELM!  Mags rises and is met head on by Sacred, who charges forward and FLOORS Magnifico with a huge charge to the mid-section!!

 

>NTD “GORE!!  GORE!!!  GORRRRE!!!!!!”

 

>Curry “Ummm… actually that was the Kamikaze, NTD.”

 

Sacred gets Magnifico up, his eyes wide and paranoid looking for X, who is still using the ropes to rise!  He whips Mags to the opposite side, charges to the adjacent side, and springs off just as ELM is rebounding!  But Magnifico holds the top rope, and prevents himself from bouncing to the center of the ring!  Sacred goes for the fly kick, and then hits nothing but Canvas!  Magnifico now charges in, performing a quick rolling Senton on Sacred before rushing at the newly risen Fallout!  But the Scum moves out of the way, and Magnifico charges right into a woozy Xstasy, blasting him with a forearm!!

 

>NTD “Ouch!  A mistake like that has GOT to hurt!”

 

>Curry “X staggers back, and poor Magnifico…”

 

>GSMS “Stay focused, Mags…”

 

As ELM apologizes to X, Fallout sneaks behind him and rolls him up!

 

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NO!  Magnifico is able to kickout!  Fallout stands, and stomps on Mags, but just then a blurry figure CAREENS towards him, knocking him clear with a HUGE Jujutsu Front Dropkick!  Fallout goes to the canvas, and X gets up, taunting him with a smile as the crowd cheers for the shot!  He looks over at Sacred, shrugs, and jumps onto the second rope, springing towards the risen Pound member!  But Sacred ducks, and though X lands on his feet, he is a little off balance as his enemy hooks both of his arms from behind, and pulls him overhead!  He drives X to the mat, and bridges!

 

>Curry “WOW!!  What a Tiger Suplex, he could have it here!”

 

>GSMS “That one’ll be hard for even X to get out of!”

 

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WHAM!!!  Magnifico breaks it up with a low dropkick to Sacred’s ribs!  He and X fall over, and Mags lifts Sacred up, encouraging X to help him!  They double whip Sacred to the ropes, and on the rebound, run in, but Sacred leaps up, and nails them BOTH!!

 

>NTD “Double Flying forearm smash!  Both of them are down!!”

 

He begins stomping on Magnifico, while Fallout makes his way over to X!  Sacred hits some hard chops, and Fallout gets Xstasy up, but the Drug immediately begins to pepper him with jabs!  Fallout gets a big right to X, and goes to whip him to the near buckle… reversed!!  Fallout sticks, and X charges in for a whipback kick, but the swifter Clannie moves out of the way, and X kicks only rope guards!  He backflips, lands on his feet, but needs recuperation time, which is the opportunity Fallout has been looking for!  He immediately bends down, hooks X’s arms from the back, and spins around so that X is facing downward!  Without much choice, X is sent to the canvas HARD, and he immediately stops moving!

 

>NTD “MELTDOWN!!!  MELTDOWN, it’s ALL OVER!!!”

 

>Curry “Actually, NTD, Fallout can’t pin Xstasy!!”

 

>GSMS “X is still in this one!!”

 

At the same time, Sacred tries to backdrop ELM, but Mags flips out of it, and when Sacred turns around, he EATS a springboard Dropkick from El Luchadore!!  Magnifico sees Fallout standing over Xstasy, and decides that its time to make his move!  He approaches Fallout from the rear, and when the smallest man in the ring turns around, Mags immediately hops up, hooks his legs over Fallout’s shoulders, and drops backwards, rolling the man up!

 

>Curry “Sunset!”

 

>GSMS “He’s got him!!”

 

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But Fallout twists his body around, and pushes himself on top of Magnifico!  He presses a leg on the ropes for leverage, and the ref never sees the violation, but counts!!

 

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Mags kicks out, and begins taking it to Fallout once again!

 

>Curry “Despicable tactics by Fallout!”

 

>NTD “But can you blame him?  These guys know what’s on the line in this match!  You’ve got to survive no matter what!  He can’t afford to lose!”

 

>Curry “That’s no excuse, NTD!  If these superstars don’t abide by the rules, there will be chaos…”

 

>NTD “And Chaos = Ratings, spice!  So you see… I’m just looking out for the good of the company!”

 

Now it is Sacred’s turn to get up and go for the gusto!  X is still woozy from the attack by Fallout, and his opponent tries to take advantage with a late pin, but only gets a one count!  He gets X up just as Magnifico sets up his smaller opponent, turns, and FLOORS him with a HUGE maneuver…

 

>Curry “Blue Thunder Powerbomb, I haven’t seen that one in awhile, and from one small wrestler to another!!”

 

>GSMS “Magnifico is full of surprises!  Uh oh, this spells the end!”

 

>Curry “El Luchadore is going up to the turnbuckle!  We might see some of that infamous high flying right here!”

 

But even as Mags is climbing, Sacred whips X to the far ropes nearby!  As X hits, Sacred immediately runs forward, extending his leg and turning sideways!  His calf RAMS into Xstasy’s face, sending him backwards over the rope, but not before X extends his own feet, and swings them, one after the other, into Sacred’s face!  The Evil Pound Member is floored, and X hits the outside with a SLAP!!

 

>Curry “Oooh… Sacred gets a Harlem Side Kick, but X counters with the Whipback Kick, and both superstars are down!!”

 

>NTD “Those two don’t like each other one bit… but that’s nothing compared to the hatred Xstasy and HVT have for each other!  I mean, they want to destroy each other’s children!!”

 

>Curry “Well, they can’t think about that right now!  There’s a title shot to be won, and Magnifico is going for it here…”

 

From his vantage, ELM sees both Fallout and Sacred down, and decides to go for the assist!  He leaps forward into the ring, but flips BACKWARDS, a cacophony of cheers and flash photography bombarding him!  As he completes the flip, he lands in a splash right on top of SACRED!!!  The people erupt in cheers, and Mags rises, holding his mid section!

 

>Curry “MEXICAN PRIDE PRESS!!  NOBODY gets higher than El Luchadore Magnifico!!”

 

>GSMS “Except for commissioner McWeed… heh heh heh heh…”

 

>NTD “Ha ha… good one Marky… at least SOMEBODY has a sense of humor around here…”

 

NTD glares at Curry Man as X, a bit sore from his spill, rises, reaches in, and pulls Sacred out of the ring!  He nails a few punches, and whips his opponent into the steel steps at ringside (CLANG) just as El Luchadore is approaching Fallout!  The Referee leans over the ropes and makes his count-out to X and Sacred, but his lack of attention on what is at hand in ring gives Fallout a necessary opening!  As ELM sets up Fallout back to back, The Clan member kicks his heel back, and ELM’s face is the look of pure pain… the worst type of pain…

 

>Curry “A LOW BLOW from Fallout!  And Mags had the California Crusher!!!”

 

>NTD “OWWWW!!  His little Mexican Shoulders are gonna be unhappy about that one!”

 

>GSMS “Ref!  Watch!!”

 

Fallout immediately knocks Magnifico down with a Superkick, and turns to climb onto the apron!  Unfortunately, Fallout does not count for one thing… The Perfect Drug…

 

>Curry “He’s going for the Meltdown, after that low blow… this is ridiculous!”

 

The Scum immediately springs up onto the rope, just as X hops onto the apron and YANKS the rope down!  Fallout slips, gets crotched on the rope, and falls over right next to El Luchadore Magnifico!  Xstasy feels the Joy, pulls down the top of his black wetsuit, exposing his physique to the ladies in the house, and scales the nearby turnbuckle!  He doesn’t even take the time to signal, but instead, returns the favor to Magnifico by leaping backwards into the ring, and flipping forwards towards the audience, landing back first right on TOP of Fallout and shaking the ring with impact… WHAMMM!!!

 

>Curry “XSTATIC!!  XSTATIC!!”

 

>GSMS “That move is devastating!!”

 

>Curry “The Perfect Drug just hit the XSTATIC on Fallout, who’s not even his opponent!”

 

No one is paying attention to Sacred, who staggers near the timekeepers table.  The Perfect Drug pulls Magnifico onto Fallout, and the ref drops down for the cover!

 

>NTD “TRAVESTY!!!”

 

>Curry “This one might win it for Magnifico!!”

 

>GSMS “YES!!”

 

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DING DING

 

The crowd erupts at Funyon gets on the microphone!

 

>Funyon “The winner of the first bracket… EL LUCHADOOOOORE… MAAAAG-NIFICOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

>Crowd “NI-FI-COOOOOOOOO!!  NI-FI-COOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

>Curry “Great exchange there!  Magnifico should have had it won anyway, but X made sure to give Fallout his just due!”

 

>GSMS “That’s what I’m talking about, great Assist by Xstasy!  It’s always good to have someone in there that’s got your back when facing cheaters like Fallout!”

 

>NTD “But do you think your boy can trust X?  Don’t let that charming smile fool you, he’s a devil in disguise…”

 

>GSMS “We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it, but for now, it looks like Sacred’s got something up his sleeve!”

 

Sure enough, Stevens is right!  Sacred is hunched over, making his way back into the ring and sliding under the bottom rope!  X hypes up the crowd, X-cited over Magnifico’s pinfall, then turns and sees Sacred.  The ref tries to get Mags and Fallout to leave, and as they stir, X approaches Sacred and lifts him up by the head!

 

>Curry “I think X has got this… wait a second…”

 

>GSMS “What’s that??”

 

WHAMMM!!!

 

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

>NTD “X was just laid out!”

 

Sure enough, The Drug is on his back on the canvas!  And in Sacred’s hands, cradled like a newly born foal, is the shiny golden US Title Belt!!!

 

>Curry “Oh god!!”

 

>NTD “Now that’s ingenuity, from the man who is TRULY EVIL!!!”

 

>Curry “Ingenuity?  I call it just plain cheating!!”

 

>GSMS “This just isn’t right!!”

 

>Curry “Sacred took the US Title Belt… the same title that X won from him on last week’s Storm, and put X down with it!  This could be all over here!!”

 

>NTD “GO POUND!!”

 

>GSMS “One good turn deserves another!”

 

>Curry “Hey… where is Grand Slam going??”

 

Now on the outside near the ramp, ELM and Fallout are brawling, barely able to stand!  Stevens throws his headset down and rises, while The Pound member drops the belt to the mat, and covers X!

 

>NTD “New winner!”

 

>Curry “This can’t be happening!”

 

The ref drops down…

 

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The ref immediately gets up, and looks to the apron, where Grand Slam is attempting to climb into the ring!  Immediately, the official stops the count and gets in the face of the former champ, telling him to leave!  

 

>Curry “Grand Slam just stopped the count!  The referee is paying more attention to him than to the competitors!”

 

>NTD “You stay out of this, you baseball freak!!”

 

>Curry “You better hope he didn’t hear you say that!”

 

Irate beyond belief, Sacred rises, a look of malice in his wide open blue eyes!!  He lifts X to his feet, sees the US Title on the ground , and repositions himself dangerously…

 

>Curry “Wait… is he…?”

 

>NTD “Violence!”

 

>Curry “This can’t be happening…”

 

>NTD “It is happening, and its all Grand Slam’s fault!  He shouldn’t be interrupting the match!”

 

Sacred immediately locks the groggy X, but in that instant, Grand Slam points into the ring, causing the ref to glance behind him!  What he sees is the picture of horror for Drug fans across the globe!  Sacred kicks his feet back, and drops down, WHAMMMM, ramming X’s head into the belt that lies on the canvas!!  Sacred takes a few seconds to stand back up, but immediately hears the bell ring!

 

DING DING DING DING DING

 

>Ref “You’re Outta here!!  Get out!!!”

 

>Curry “I can’t believe it!  The ref saw it!  He saw it, and Sacred is immediately DQed!”

 

>NTD “NO!  Replay, ref!!”

 

>Funyon “Your winner of the second bracket, as a result of a Disqualification… X-STA-SEEEEE!!!”

 

The crowd EXPLODES, as Sacred nearly tears his hair out!  He looks towards a smirking Grand Slam, and approaches, only to get the back of his head grabbed, and SHOT off of the top rope as Grand Slam drops to the floor!  Stevens grabs Sacred by the leg now, and pulls him out of the ring!  He immediately hits HARD rights, and begins pulling Sacred around the ring and towards the exit!

 

>Curry “Grand Slam has suddenly become ring enforcer for this match-up!”

 

>NTD “And he’s doing a piss poor job!  This kind of discrimination should never be tolerated!”

 

Meanwhile, on the other side, Fallout is still stomping away on ELM!  The ref, seeing X all alone in the squared circle, immediately goes to the brawl and tries to get Fallout to exit the arena!  He is pretty much unsuccessful, but sometimes it takes a wrestler to handle a wrestler…

 

>NTD “What chaos…”

 

>Curry “Somebody’s got to get out here and help… wait… it’s Grand Slam!”

 

Stevens sets his weight, grabs Sacred, and whips him into the irate Fallout!!  Both men fall to the ground, spent, and Grand Slam grabs the smaller man, who is dwarfed when compared to the Heavy Hitter!  He gets the headscissors, signals to the now avidly popping fans, and hops up… DRIVING Fallout’s head to the outside amidst a barrage of camera flashes!!  Security reaches ringside immediately, and ELM, now unsteadily on his feet, slides back into the ring!

 

>Curry “WALK OFF!!!  WALK OFF on FALLOUT!!!  And these people are loving the Heavy Hitter… who proves that cheating doesn’t pay!”

 

>NTD “That big lug, he needs anger management fast!”

 

The ref and security immediately begin to evacuate the three at ringside, while in the ring, X gets to a knee, picking up his title on the way to his feet!  Magnifico also begins to get up, using the ropes to help him!  Unsteadily, Xstasy stands, staggers back, and then, looks at Magnifico’s groggy condition across the ring!  He looks down at his title, then back at Magnifico, and his eyes suddenly become glazed over with determination!

 

>Curry “Oh no… what’s happening…”

 

>NTD “I think X is about to take it ALL!!”

 

>Curry “He can’t… he mustn’t!!”

 

The Perfect Drug licks his lips, his gaze still going from Magnifico, to the title in his hands, and back again!  His breathing becomes heavy as he stands to full height, the dreads hiding parts of his face!  Fire burns in his eyes while the crowd chants…

 

>Crowd “DON’T DO IT!!  DON’T DO IT!!  DON’T DO IT!!!”

 

>Curry “X doesn’t seem to be paying attention to the fans…”

 

>NTD “He shouldn’t!  FLOOR HIM X!!”

 

>Curry “When X said he’d do WHATEVER IT TAKES to win the title, I couldn’t have dreamt he meant this!  This is a fans worst nightmare!”

 

>NTD “And the ref is still outside!  See no evil… hear no evil!!”

 

Indeed, the ref is still helping security walk Grand Slam up the ramp, who has a superstar under each arm!  Magnifico fatefully turns around, and meets X head on, their eyes locking up for what seems an eternity!  X lifts the title up, squinting and clenching his teeth as Magnifico staggers in front of him, powerless to resist!

 

>NTD “Here it comes…”

 

And with finality and purpose, X takes the title… and surges it… OVER THE ROPES!!

 

>Crowd “RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

 

>Curry “He let it go!  He threw the belt over the ropes!  No weapons here!”

 

X nods, and motions for ELM to approach!!  And the referee is on his way back to the ring!!

 

>X “It’s you and me now, éssé!  Let’s give these people a show!!”

 

The crowd volume is the loudest it’s been all night, as El Luchadore nods, and the two superstars approach one another!  X fires the first shot… a hard right to Magnifico’s jaw!  But Mags fires RIGHT BACK, even harder!  So X NAILS him again!  Magnifico with a shot!  X!  Mags!  X!  Mags!  Mags!  Mags!!  ELM wins the battle!  He gets a whip to the turnbuckle, and races forward- SMACK into a kick by X, staggering The Immigrant!  X comes out of the blocks, but is Arm Drug to the canvas by Magnifico!  He rises and approaches once more.  Immediately they lock up!  Xstasy gets the upper hand with a hook over the shoulder for a Sambo, but Mags spins out, and gets behind X in a rear waistlock!  An elbow to the head is all it takes to release his hold, however, and X twists around, flinging a back-roundhouse at Magnifico, who ducks down, and rises, nailing a chop on the way up!!  WHACK!!!  A second chop… BLOCKED!!!  X pulls Mags in, and lifts him for a Fireman’s Carry.. Magnifico pushes out!!  He lands behind Xstasy, drops to the ground, and rolls him up!!

 

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NO!! X kicks himself out, backrolls to his feet, and meets Magnifico head on!  But the Mexican Immigrant is too fast, and rolls around again!  Back to back, Magnifico hooks the arms and pulls forward, bringing X over and to the mat on his shoulders!!

 

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NO!!  X is able to push himself to his feet, and get ELM’s shoulders to the canvas!

 

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KICKOUT!!  Magnifico is immediately standing, while X shakes out some leftover cobwebs!  But he gives El Luchadore all the time he needs to go to the near second rope, spring off, and flip forward, getting a facelock on the way over…

 

>Curry “South American Stunner…”

 

But X PUSHES Mags off before he can complete the move, sending both superstars to the opposite ropes!  They both rebound towards each other with incredible speed, and have the same thought as they both go for a cross body… and WHAMMM!!  They impact at the mid section in air, falling to the ground and clutching their ribs tightly!!

 

>NTD “Double Cross Body!!  Both of these guys have taken insane amounts of punishment, it’s a wonder they’re still going at full speed!!”

 

>Curry “The determination of these two young superstars is incredible!  But only ONE can win it!  Only ONE can go to the pay per view and face the champion and Grand Slam!  Only ONE will get a shot at the SWF Title!!”

 

The crowd is stomping, encouraging both superstars to rise!  Battling chants of “NI-FI-COOOOO!” and “X-STA-SEEEEEEE!!!” go up in cadence, while the two wrestlers get up to their feet once more!  Mags struggles to stand near the ropes, while X stands, and shakily backs up…

 

>Curry “They’re giving it everything they have left!  Both of their tanks are on empty, but they mean to keep going until they can’t anymore!”

 

>NTD “Somebody just forfeit!!  Don’t subject yourself to this anymore…”

 

>Curry “Winners like this don’t know the meaning of the word Quit, NTD!!”

 

As they favor their ribs in the ring, the crowd level goes up, X backs up more and more, until finally… he runs right into Magnifco!  Back to back, the two final competitors stand!  Instinctively, Magnifico hooks X’s arms, backslide style!  He goes forward, springing off of the second rope and BACKFLIPPING OVER XSTASY, still hooked on!!

 

>Curry “BAJA CALIFORNIA CRUSHER!!!”

 

Everyone pops as Magnifico, in mid air, begins to go over!  Then the cheers swell even more when they notice Xstasy jump up into the air and FACELOCK Magnifico!

 

>NTD “NO WAY!!!”

 

>Curry “OH MY GOD!!!”

 

The Drug spins at the last second, while Magnifico is twisted with him in mid air, powerless to resist!  They come down hard to the mat with a WHAMMMM!!!  And Magnifico rolls twice on the mat before landing on his back!

 

>Curry “XCEPTION!!!  He REVERSED the Baja California Crusher into an XCEPTION in MID AIR!!!”

 

>NTD “The Drug pulls another one out, and he’s going to the finals!!”

 

Xstasy crawls quickly over and makes the final cover!

 

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>Crowd “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”

 

>Curry “GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!!!”

 

The ref shakes his head in disbelief, but holds up two fingers as the crowd level surpasses even what it had been before…

 

>NTD “THIS IS THE IMPOSSIBLE…”

 

El Luchadore Magnifico kicked out.

 

>Curry “HE KICKED OUT!  THAT XCEPTION was for NAUGHT!!!”

 

X slides off of his rival, sitting on the canvas, while the crowd chants “S-W-F!!!  S-W-F!!!” repeatedly!  The ref sighs, giving the two note to Xstasy once again, as the Drug looks to the near turnbuckle, and then to Magnifico!  X realizes that if he’s going to beat the tough as nails Mexican… he’s got to do it in the air!

 

>NTD “Wait, X is getting up…”

 

>Curry “I think he sees something here… he’s going to the turnbuckle…”

 

Xstasy scales the turnbuckle, and faces his opponent!  It is many seconds before Magnifico rises, but the crowd cheering makes it seem like only a fraction of that length!  ELM rises, completely disoriented, as the referee moves out of the way!  At the top of the turnbuckle, X has visions of the JL- ladders, high-flying moves, brutal matches… and also visions of the finisher that almost put him out of commission on more than one occasion…

 

>Curry “What’s he gonna do…”

 

>NTD “Look out!!”

 

Mags turns towards X, and immediately The Drug FLIES off of the turnbuckle!  He sails through the air, hooking Mag’s head with his legs, spinning around, and flipping back, sending ELM head first into the canvas and flipping over!  Both superstars lay on the mat, spent, but the crowd is up on their feet, their cameras still smoking from the insane number of pictures, and Curry and NTD rise from their feet in realization!

 

>NTD “Holy SH*T!!”

 

>Curry “That was the FALL OF THE AZTECS!!  Magnifico’s former finisher!  And I guess it takes one of his OWN high profile moves to put him down!!!”

 

Loosely, Xstasy drapes an arm over Magnifico’s chest, which rises and falls heavily, and the ref drops down…

 

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>Curry “What an impact…”

 

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>NTD “For the chance to be champion…”

 

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DING DING DING

 

>Curry “It’s OVER!!!  It’s FINALLY OVER!!!”

 

“The Perfect Drug” plays over the PA, but even sweeter music to the ears of Xstasy is the cheers of all the men and women… and especially the women, in Kalamazoo tonight!  He’s finally done it!  He finally gets his shot!!

 

>Funyon “HERE is your winner… and the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER to the SWF WORLD TITLE… X-STA-SEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

 

>Curry “No words can describe what just happened!  There’s nothing I can say to explain the sheer magnitude of this event tonight!  Out of the four, one has risen, but not without hardship!  How can you possibly express it?”

 

>NTD “One word… KICKASS!!!”

 

>Curry “The SWF rules all…”

 

A replay of the sickest bumps is shown!  ELM’s Mexican Pride Press on Sacred… X’s Fall of the Aztecs on Mags!  Even the brutal kickout of the Xception is shown!

 

>Curry “These two young men have poured their heart and soul into this battle!  I’ve never seen anything like it shy of Grand Slam’s win at the Clusterf*ck!!  I can’t wait to see what happens at the Pay Per View…”

 

>NTD “Are you kidding, we have a show next week to deal with!  What’s going to happen when Thugg finds out that X is in the match?”

 

>Curry “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re out of time, but things are just heating up!  Come next Sunday, a newcomer to the World Title scene guarantees to shake things up for the established contenders!”

 

>NTD “Good night, and good riddance!!”

 

One final shot of X and Magnifico, both very unstable, but shaking hands in the ring fills the audience’s eyes as X slings his title over his shoulder.  They both take to opposite turnbuckles, the Drug displaying his sign of the X and holding his returned title high, and the Immigrant pumping his fist to the crowd, as the company identification is shown and the show fades to black…  the battle was hard fought, and even more hardly won… but at last he has his chance…

 

The Perfect Drug, has his chance…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

<Man> I don’t see anything!

 

A man walks into the construction site, holding a cell phone to his ear and a flash light in his hand.  He walks cautiously while talking in the phone.

 

<Man> Nothing man.  You sure she heard something?

 

<Phone> …

 

<Man> What did it sound like?

 

<Phone>…

 

<Man> Ok…I’ll keep looking and I’ll call you if I find anything.

 

<Phone>…

 

<Man> Yeah, ok…bye.

 

::Click ::

 

The man flips the cell phone shut and starts to look around what appears to be a barren space.  The night is dark and his flash light shine brightly through the late night mist.  He continues to walk until he comes to another clear area, only populated by a very large piece of construction machinery.  However, something looks very different about it since he left it earlier in the day, so he moves in for a closer inspection.  He follows the machines arm up…up…up, and then suddenly he jaw drops…

 

 

<JD> J…j…just calm down man.

 

Jay Dawg pulls his car into the construction site, not far from the arched-necked man, and hops out.

 

<JD> You sure this is the place?

 

<Phone> {incoherent screaming}

 

<JD> Dammit man, I can’t understand you.  Calm down…

 

<Phone> {more screaming}

 

<JD> I don’t see anything man…are you sure?

 

JD walks into the clearing where he sees the same large piece of machinery.

 

<JD> All I see is some stupid old man…

 

<Phone> {screaming}

 

<JD> That’s it man.  Look, I have a friend who has a…

 

Suddenly, there’s a tap on Jay Dawg’s shoulder…it’s the man from before.  Without a word, the man points up to the sky, and JD follows suit…

 

<JD> HOOOLLLYYYY SHIT!

 

The camera pans up and shows the ambulance high in the air, suspended about 150 feet in the air.

 

<Phone> I’M GOING TO KILL THAT MUTHA FUCKA……XSTASY!

 

With that, the shot pans out, showing JD and the man looking up at the ambulance, and Storm goes off the air without a word.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

SINGLES MATCH

Mistress Sarah vs. Jay Dawg

- Sarah gets off to a good start by beating Dawg!

 

NON-TITLE, NO-DQ SINGLES MATCH

Hville Thugg vs. Spider Nekura

- Thug wins by DQ, due to interference from Strangler.  The rest of the Clanites aren't happy...

 

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

The Boston Strangler vs. The Prophet

- Another match ending in DQ!  Strangler wins, then attacks Spider?  Oh...you're in for it now boy!

 

TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH

Mark Stevens & Longdogger Pete vs. Thoth & Edwin MacPhisto

- Stevens, Pete and MacPhisto team up against Thoth.  Stevens and Longdogger win...

 

DOUBLE JEOPARDY MATCH FOR SWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP

[Fallout vs. El Luchadore Magnifico] vs. [sacred vs. Xstasy]

- Xstasy has the title shot!