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Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 27

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Guest TSMAdmin

The Dames’ Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 27

 

Welcome back to your weekly TNA Diatribe with YOUR host, The Dames (aka Damian Gonzalez).

 

First, I’d like to take the time out to thank all of you out there who applied for our open writing positions for TheSmartMarks.com. We’ve filled most of our holes (STOP THINKING DIRTY), but we are still evaluating certain applicants for the rest of our open orifices. Keep a look out for our new guys soon.

 

WWE aired their Raw X 10th Anniversary special last night and although I’m sure that by now everyone has trounced it, I’d still like to get my two cents in. Feeling more like a bad Slammy Awards show, the 10th Anniversary special seemed to be nothing more than a plug for this Sunday’s Royal Rumble (which speaking of plugs, I’ll be doing a Diatribe for Sunday Night, exclusively for TSM). From having absolutely zero surprise guests on the show despite plugging them for months, no Bobby Heenan (which they assured us would be there), all of the awards going to current superstars with the exception of Mick Foley and Steve Austin who WERE NOT in attendance, to Shawn “Holy Bible Kid” Michaels mocking the dead (Bertha Faye), the Raw 10th Anniversary special was one of the most disappointing and disheartening shows in recent memory. The only thing remotely NEAR “memorable” about last night’s show was the large crucifixion of The Rock by the live crowd at the World, who booed him with no remorse as he was “live” via satellite. As for the number one Raw moment of the decade, I was THERE in the Pepsi Arena along with many members of the practically defunct RPI Pro Wrestling Club, when the Austin Beer Truck incident took place and I didn’t think it was a big deal THEN, let alone be the greatest Raw moment of all time. I’m starting to get upset....so I’ll just shut up now.

 

Last week’s show had a few surprises as Mike Sanders FINALLY debuted in TNA, aligning himself with Russo and his S.E.X. faction, as well as “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes running down the ramp and taking out S.E.X. with a batch of bionic elbows as the show went off the air.

 

Last week, I asked about Corsica Joe, Sara Lee and Eddie Marlin. Reader Lee Shoaf (aka Doctor Icon) said this: “Here's a little history lesson, these people were all old schoolers in the Nashville/Midsouth area. Corsica is one of the infamous "Corsica Twins" who were the meanest old farts in the region when I was kid! ( i'm 46 now) he is I think in his eighties now, he may be old but he can put you in a hammerlock and make you cry like a baby! Eddie used to book for uswa, he too is an old school wrestler, I don't know if you can find any of his stuff on tape, Last but not least, we have Mrs. Corsica Joe, Sarah Lee, she was a woman wrestler who fought the likes of Mae Young, Moolah and she too can stretch you like gumby!”

 

Upon further evaluation....Sara Lee was the woman that kept beating up on the Dupps during the dumb Dupp Cup Hardcore matches. Thanks, Lee.

 

This week’s show starts out with another black and white video package recapping the Jeff Jarrett/S.E.X feud that looks like a carbon copy of the one that was used last week with a few new clips interspersed.

 

We then go to the one-on-one sit down interview between Mike Tenay and Vince Russo that was hyped on last week’s program.

 

Tenay starts the interview off cordially by asking Russo what his role as a wrestling TV writer is, to which Russo responded “to assure there are as many eyeballs watching the product as possible”. He’ll do ANYTHING to accomplish that because everything in the business is ratings and PPV buys, according to Russo himself. Tenay then asks how important he feels that the position is. Russo’s response is that the position is very important or else the show would be boring and would fail if kept in the hands of old school traditionalists such as Tenay. Tenay then asks if he feels responsible whatsoever for the demise of WCW. Russo: “I was actually writing the television for WCW for 9 months”. He feels that people are stupid if they believe that he ruined a company that was over 10 years old in less than a year and he doesn’t buy it. “Maybe it deserved to go out of business then.” Tenay cites that he had a lot of talent to work with such as Goldberg, the cruisers and Kevin Nash. Well, I guess Tenay has a different definition of talent than I do. Russo’s retort to that was that he was brought in becuase he was needed. “The product was in the shitter, so they brought in the most successful writer in the history of the business: Me”.

 

Tenay then asks him specifically why Russo would take the AWESOME WCW Cruiserweight division, the one thing that WCW did better than anyone in North America and base it around Evan Karagious, Ed Ferrera (as Oklahoma) and a female, Madusa. Russo: “Because people want entertainment Mike. You want Lucha Libre? Whatever you call them, go to Japan, go to Mexico. You’ll get all the Lucha Libre you want. Here in the United States, people want to be entertained and this many people (makes “little” gesture with his fingers) are entertained by guys jumpin’ around the ring for 40 minutes.” I have to HIGHLY disagree with that, but I’ll save that for later.

 

Tenay: “What was the positive in tarnishing the image and the history of the World’s Heavyweight Championship belt-“. Russo: “The prop?” Tenay: “by having David Arquette as the World Heavyweight Champion”. Russo then says that it was purely for publicity and David Arquette was in USA Today the next day with a picture of him covering Eric Bischoff and that’s publicity that WCW wouldn’t have gotten had DDP won the belt that night. Tenay then asks him to explain why the following week, Raw had a 7.4 as opposed to Nitro’s lowest point in 4 years....a 2.4, nearly triple the audience. Russo completely dodges that question, stating that he doesn’t know that to be true because he doesn’t have the numbers in front of him and tries to justify the David Arquette debacle with the USA Today coverage. Russo then claims that no one was watching TNA until Russo got involved and how 300 people were turned away from the Fairgrounds last week, which is true.

 

Tenay then asks why he ruined the Jarrett/Truth title match from November 20th, aka Week 21. Russo just wanted to spice the product up because he feels that business will die within the next year if he doesn’t do something about it and he wants his two sons to be in the business, but it has to survive for that to happen. Russo then cuts the interview, telling Tenay that he’ll thank him eventually.

 

While the interview was obviously scripted, I’d love to know how much of that was real sentiment by Vince Russo. To say that no one wanted to see the cruisers is just a foolish statement because if he had polled any of WCW’s core audience, he would have known that Rey Mysterio was VERY over and the CW’s matches were regarded as the best matches on the card most of the time. As for the David Arquette debacle, Russo ALWAYS brings up the numbers whenever he talks about how he raised WCW’s ratings while he was in charge, yet has never bothered to look at the numbers for the most infamous angle he’s known for? BULLSHIT.

 

We get the PPV intro now as we’re back again at the TNA Asylum.

 

While West and Tenay prep us for tonight’s card, Russo’s music hits and his entire SEX faction come to the ring. The entire faction with the exception of Russo is wearing the new “SEX” shirt as I notice that Mike Sanders has his wrestling gear on tonight! YES! Another thing that you notice quickly is that on the bottom left, there’s a graphic that reads www.nwatna.com and looks to be there for the duration of the show.

 

Russo tells Tenay that he brought his “soapbox” here tonight...don’t really get that. It’s a black box labeled “soapbox” that he’s standing on. He then declares war on the Road Warriors and Dusty Rhodes for sticking their noses in their business. He then says: “We are NOT the NWO, we are NOT a band of thugs, we are here to educate you morons”. He then makes a plea, like Tenay did last week. He wants people to join SEX or they’ll be considered against them.....like the NWO.

 

Percy Pringle (aka Paul Bearer) comes down to the ring to finally talk to Russo. Percy says that he knows Russo well because he’s known him the longest. He was part of the biggest angles that Russo wrote as “sports entertainment”. He starts to agree with Russo’s philosophy...and extends his hand to join him. Russo then REJECTS him because he says he MADE Percy and The Undertaker, yet they didn’t support him when he left. He then insults him and SEX starts POUNDING on him, opening him up after a shot with the soapbox. Percy starts SERIOUSLY bleeding as Jorge Estrada of all people comes into the ring to face SEX, but gets demolished. Triple X takes him out then double Rockbottom him off the top through a table. Percy is bleeding like a stuck PIG at ringside, leaving a puddle of blood on the ring steps. Jeff Jarrett (along with TNA security members Chris Vaughn and Rick Santel) come to the ring and SEX scurries. Man, I can understand if the Road Warriors were with him...but he was basically alone with two jobbers and they scurried? Come on.

 

Tenay and West then inform us that Red got stuck in Japan and won’t be able to make it tonight for his X title match with Siaki. Estrada was supposed to have taken his place, but thankfully, didn’t. Instead, Kid Kash will be Red’s replacement. Estrada would be the worst choice, so at least someone deserving of a title shot will get it tonight.

 

West then runs down the card, naming Jeff Jarrett & The Road Warriors vs. Triple X as the main event for tonight.

 

New GRAPHICS~! as we go to our first match:

 

Americas Most Wanted vs. Divine Storm (w/Trinity) for the NWA Tag Team Titles.

 

Match Background: Back in Week 24, Divine Storm faced Americas Most Wanted for the first time. While AMW tried to set up Devine for the Death Sentence, Trinity came in and low blowed Cowboy James Storm, allowing him to get rolled up for the pin.

 

The Match: The announcers play up Divine Storm’s previous victory immediately as they seem to make an excuse for AMW by saying that they were so focused on the Disciples of the New Church. The match starts out with both teams brawling in the ring, with Devine rolling to the outside after a kick from Storm. AMW still have their titles on at this point as Harris NAILS Quiet Storm with a clothesline to the back of the head. They then elevate him over the top onto Devine (barely grazed him actually) before Harris then elevates his own partner over the top onto the both of them. Without the title belts on now, Harris stomps the hell out of QS in the corner before James Storm comes off the top with a missile dropkick on Storm. Too many damn Storms, I tell you. Harris then catapults Quiet Storm into the corner and gets kicked in the back of the thigh by the other Storm. AMW blow their double team move where they roll forward while holding their opponents leg for the second week in a row! Drop the move guys...really. If the point is just to get the guy onto his feet....what’s the point of knocking him down? They knock Devine off the apron and double clothesline QS for two. Trinity trips up James Storm and distracts him, allowing Quiet Storm to get a clothesline to take over. Devine comes in and suplexes the bigger Storm for two. Devine gets a back elbow off the ropes before tagging in Quiet Storm who tosses Storm to the outside so Trinity can ‘rana him off the apron and does. Storm then hits James Storm with a tornado DDT for two, setting him up for a missed senton. Notice that I didn’t say SWANTON, there’s a difference. Storm makes the cold tag to Harris who becomes HOUSE..EN...Nah, nevermind. The crowd just doesn’t care at all tonight. NASTY back suplex on Devine, which he follows up with a powerslam for two. They set up Storm for the Death Sentence, but Trinity sneaks into the ring and low blows him, like in their first match! QS with the cover....NO! The teased rehashing of their first matches finish wasn’t picked up by the crowd. Tenay and West pick it up though as AMW ends up at ringside. Quiet Storm hits a NICE somersault plancha off the top rope which gets the first “TNA” chant of the night. Devine then nails a somersault tope con hilo on the pile.....ending with Trinity doing a moonsault off the top onto the whole pile, minus QS. At least this time, QS was distracting the ref for her. Storm hits a Diamond Cutter on James Storm who was perched on the top rope. Storm then gets whipped into the corner, but elevates a charging Devine over the top to the floor. He catches Storm and sets him up for the Death Sentence! They hit it for the win!

 

My Opinion: Slightly better match than their first contest, but still nothing special. Crowd didn’t care for anything except for the high spots. *

 

We go to a video package on AJ Styles, focusing on his desire to be a heavyweight competitor. Lots of shots of the Styles Clash and Spiral Tap moves. The package then focuses on his attacks on Jeff Jarrett...and ends with him rejecting Russo and S.E.X last week.

 

AJ then comes out alone to the ring in wrestling gear. He takes THE STICK~! to answer where his allegiances lie. He’s NOT with Mortimer Plumtree....and NOT with Vince Russo’s SEX. He’s a loner. Before he can finish....The Truth’s music hits and he enters the ring quickly. HE grabs THE STICK~! and tells AJ that he so wet behind the ears, “your breath smells like Similac”. Oh, man, that cracked me up! He tells AJ that he’s not getting a shot unless he can get through the “Suntan Superman” because he’s a former NWA Champ.

 

AJ Styles vs. The Truth

 

Match Background: As far as NWA:TNA goes, these two men have only met once. In Week 9, The Truth teamed up with Jeff Jarrett to take on then tag team champs, AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn. The finish of the match was a double pin with Lynn pinning Jarrett and AJ Styles pinning The Truth.....who was World Champion at that point. The titles were vacated due to this. They have not met since.

 

The Match: AJ goes for a clothesline and misses as the match begins. Both men are still in their entrance attire as The Truth reverses a hiptoss attempt into a sitdown hiptoss! Looked nice....although it didn’t exactly do anymore damage. Japanese armdrag and a dropkick sends Styles out as the crowd chants for The Truth. Truth gets on the apron as Styles comes back in and sunset flips Styles to come back in for two. Styles comes off the irish whip and Truth goes for a leapfrog, but Styles ducks down and knees Truth in the groin on the way down! Nip up ‘rana by Styles! He hasn’t done that since the infamous Triple Threat match in Week 8! Didn’t come off nearly as smoothly though. Flipping dropkick by Styles as he’s firmly in control and gets a two count. Truth comes back with a few right hands and a NICE Downward Spiral for two. AJ pops up and gets a spin kick for two. Styles wrenches in a neck vice and keeps it on for a while...he then sets up Truth and hits a nice running swanton for two. Styles with a WALKING Delayed Vertical Suplex on the Truth! He chops him a few times in the corner and then nails a hard running clothesline as a faint “AJ sucks” chant starts up. Truth holds onto the ropes as Styles goes for a dropkick, allowing Truth to get an Oklahoma roll for two! Styles pops back up and hits a clothesline that spins Truth 360 DEGREES! Well...more like 270, but you know what I mean! MUTA LOCK~! by Styles! Truth breaks free and headbutts Styles in the groin! Truth whips AJ into the corner, but EATS BOOT. Styles with a clothesline attempt but Truth ends up ducking and hits a SPINNING Back suplex, with the majority of Styles’ body landing on his! Looked somewhat botched and it could have knocked out Truth’s wind. Truth gets up and lands a few right hands, followed up with a flying forearm for two. Truth heads up to the top...but Styles follows him up there and goes for a superplex. Both men really struggling....but Truth gets the True Conviction (sit out front suplex) off the top! The way Styles landed, that man should have a torn shoulder! Truth covers, but Mortimer Plumtree starts distracting the ref, trying to get into the ring! David Flair runs in and nails Truth with Jason Voorhees’ burlap sack and places Styles on top! The ref turns around and Styles wins the match!

 

My Opinion: This match could have been a lot better as it was a slow paced match for the majority of it. It could have gone a lot longer as they seemed to work well together, although there was much do to be desired. The interference raises some questions as both Plumtree and SEX seem to be vying for Styles services....or it could be another Russo-like swerve. **1/4

 

We go to Goldylocks in the back with Jeff Jarrett and the Road Warriors. JJ doesn’t feel that Styles deserves a title shot yet because he hasn’t paid his dues. The Road Warriors then cut a promo that reminds me of WrestleFest, the arcade game. Hawk makes a fun SEX puns....nothing special.

 

Back at the ringside area, Styles asks TENAY for a title shot because he thinks he has stroke. He then decides to hold the show hostage until he gets a title shot. All of a sudden Larry Zybysko comes out with THE STICK~! on the top of the ramp as Tenay has about 3 heart attacks. He’s proud of TNA because it stands for tradition. He calls him a cancerous cell...and starts attacking Vince Russo verbally. Styles looks at him like he’s bonkers, but Larry just won’t stop talking about how Russo is a bad influence. Styles takes his mic to tell him that he’s NOT with Russo....but Larry won’t let him talk and keeps talking about Russo! He talks about how he needs to build up an image for himself....just like he did for 29 years. Styles once again tries to state that he’s NOT with Russo, but Larry cuts him off again! He talks about the School of Hard Knocks and how he hasn’t paid his dues. AJ then challenges Larry to a match....and should he win, he should be allowed a shot. Larry says that he can’t beat him....but gets cut off with a hard slap! Larry flips out and TONS of security end up separating them! All those security guards and they send out TWO for Percy Pringle?

 

They go to a video package of the confrontation between Goldylocks and Desire, where Goldy got a legit concussion. It also recaps the brawl between Athena and Desire as well.

 

Desire (w/Sonny Siaki) vs. April Hunter

 

Match Background: This is Desire’s first match in TNA. We haven’t seen April Hunter since she lost to Bruce in a match for the TNA crown back in Week 11. It’s funny, I considered April Hunter to be a lock in that match too. She’s done her fair share of work in the indies, she can bump, she’s a busty redhead and has some charisma. Don’t get why they wouldn’t put her over in that match.

 

The Match: As April enters the ring, Desire throws her to the ground and puts the boots to her a bit. She throws her to the outside, but before Sonny Siaki can do anything to her, Athena runs down to her aid. Like that’ll do anything...April gets back in the ring and Desire hits some weak chops. April reserves and does the same before following up with a sloppy head scissors. Side slam by Hunter gets two. Really ugly looking spot as Hunter gets whipped into the corner, but flips over....no one. Desire then dropkicks her from behind. Not only is it sloppy, but its also in slow motion. Desire gets a nice standing enziguiri on April, but she comes back with a back elbow and a snap suplex with a float over for two. April sets her up and goes to the top, but she’s crotched by Siaki. Desire then tries to jump to the top rope in one motion like RVD....but falls on her ass instead. The crowd gets on her for that as she finally gets up there and hits a rana off the top (nice) for the pin.

 

My Opinion: I’m going to be nice for once and give them ¼ *, simply because they tried some hard manuevers. Now I can see why WWE let Desire go. April Hunter could be bankable and they should really keep her around.

 

Post match, Athena comes in and gets on top of Desire. Desire takes the advantage though and rips off her shirt. She tries to rip off her jeans....but she takes SOOOO long that TNA is forced to go to another segment.

 

We go to Goldylocks in the back awaiting Dusty Rhodes...as someone pulls up in a pick uptruck, dressed in all white. The name on the back of his outfit....Mr. Wrestling IV. GREAT.

 

We go to a video package on the arrival....of MIKE....SANDERS~!

 

Sanders comes into the ring and naturally gravitates towards THE STICK~! I would like to transcribe everything he says....but I don’t have the time. His role is the head of acquisition for S.E.X. He hits the S.O.L catchphrase...which I REALLY missed....when Jerry Lynn comes down to the ring!

 

Lynn takes the mic and tells him that while Sanders gets his work done on the mic, he (Lynn) gets it done in the ring.

 

Jerry Lynn vs. Mike Sanders

 

Match Background: Last week, Sanders made his debut and aligned himself with SEX at the poor expense of The Truth and Jerry Lynn. Yep...that’s all we need...

 

The Match: Lynn tosses Sanders in the ring and sends him into the corner as Sanders sells his ASS off! He’s definitely improved in that aspect. Lynn bulldogs Sanders down and Sanders sells that with a flip, like a damn CHAMP! Knee to the midsection allows Sanders to take over momentarily, but Lynn tosses him to the outside and hits a missile dropkick. Sanders comes back in and tries a shoulder tackle to Lynn, standing on the apron, but gets nothing more than a legdrop to the back of the head. Lynn slingshots himself back in for a splash for two. Lynn goes for some punches in the corner, but Don Harris distracts him at ringside, allowing Sanders to stun gun Lynn down. Leg lariat (!) by Sanders gets two! After every two count, Sanders looks at the crowd and yells “HEY!!!”....and it’s catching on. Heelish chokes by Sanders in the corner....but Lynn gets a few roll ups for two. Poke to the eye gets the advantage back as Sanders proclaims his love for the heelness inside. Pumphandle suplex (!) onto Lynn also gets a 2 count. HEY!!!! Snap mare by Sanders and a HARD kick to the chest, followed by a knee drop gets a HEY!!! Sanders with a chinlock...SQUEEZING the life out of Lynn (yes, i’m exagerrating) until Lynn musters up enough strength to fight back. Sanders pulls Lynn down by the hair and hits a QUEBRADA(!!!) but Lynn moves out of the way. When the hell did he learn that!? Lynn gets up....slugfest in the middle of the ring, Sanders gets whipped into the corners and Lynn hits a few elbows and a clothesline. Lynn heads to the top and comes off with a cross body for a broken up two as Don Harris pulls out the ref! Lynn gets his spinning DDT, but there’s no ref! Sanders with a low blow and a neckbreaker, but the new ref slides in for TWO! Sanders sets Lynn up in the corner...but Lynn fights out and powerbombs him down! Don Harris pulls out THAT ref before he can count to three and goes to powerbomb him on the floor! Dusty Rhodes comes in and Bionic Elbows Don Harris to hell! He puts the ref back into the ring as Lynn hits the TKO and Lynn pins Sanders! DAMMIT!

 

My Opinion: The match was paced great, Sanders sold like a champ and the interference made a lot of sense. With that said, Sanders in ring work still isn’t as great as it could be and the match probably wouldn’t have been as good if he wasn’t in the ring with Jerry Lynn. **

 

Dusty then comes in and grabs the mic. He spends about 5 minutes talking....but I really can’t decipher most of it. He keeps bringing up midgets jerking off in trash cans as the kind of entertainment that Russo provides. That happened in one of the first few weeks of TNA...and I don’t think Russo was with the product at the time anyway. BG James looks on as Dusty just keeps rambling....not saying much. He brings up the midget jerking off in a trash can about 5 times, no shit.

 

After all that, Russo comes down and stands on top of the announce table. After taking a few shots at Ric Flair, he looks at Dusty...and challenges him to get his gear and make the main event an 8 man tag with he and Dusty on opposite corners. Dusty says that he’ll ask Bullet Bob to do it, but Russo’s stip is that if his team wins....he gets to choose the opponents of the title holders next week.

 

We now go to the ring for:

 

Jason Cross vs. David Young

 

Match Background: The one and only time these two men met in TNA was in the 10 man X Division Gauntlet match from Week 25. They weren’t involved in each others elimination either.

 

The Match: Young comes in and immediately takes down Cross, but he transitions into a hammerlock. Sloppy spot as Cross gets on Young’s shoulders for a rana, but gets tossed off and lands on his ass instead of his feet, but they covered nicely by not stopping. Rana and leg lariat sends Young to the outside where he gets his twisting somersault tope! Cross goes for a swinging DDT on the outside, but gets Northern Light Suplexed into the ropes....and falls awkwardly on the floor! He could have landed right on his dome. Back in the ring now, Young NAILS Cross with a hard clothesline for two. They blow a spot where Cross tries to get a backslide off an irish whip....but they do it anyway. Young sets Jason up for a reverse suplex, but Cross rolls through and hits a Test Drive or Roll of the Dice for two! Somersault legdrop by Cross gets two as well. Young goes for a German suplex, but Cross flips out....makes no difference as he gets Young’s swinging face plant for two. Young charges at Cross in the corner, but Cross moves and Young spills on the mat. Bullet Bob comes to ringside as Cross comes off the top with a PICTURE PERFECT SWANTON BOMB. I haven’t seen one that pretty....EVER. He goes right back up to the top, but Young crotches him as Bullet Bob confirms the 8 man for tonight. Cross ends up getting a somersault neckbreaker off the second rope and goes back up top for the CrossFire. He goes for it......but Young moves out of the way!!! Young with his SNAP Spinebuster on Cross for the pin!

 

My Opinion: David Young really has a future in the X Division. His spinebuster is the best looking spinebuster I’ve ever seen since the days of Arn Anderson. The guys blew a few spots, but it’ll get better with experience. The match seemed way too spotty... *1/2

 

At ringside, BG James confronts his father Bullet Bob, but BG’s brother Scott Armstrong comes in to intervene. As this is going on...Konnan is in the ring beating both Cross and Young with a Kendo stick! He beats the holy hell out of them with a fire and passion he hasn’t shown in YEARS. NWA promoter Burt Prentice gets into the ring to escort him out, along with TNA officials and Nashville police. They escort him out of the building.

 

Dammit....Konnan? He did a pretty damn good job, but he’s probably still trash in the ring if what I hear from the ROH fans is true.

 

Sonny Siaki (w/Desire) vs. Kid Kash for the NWA:TNA X Division Title

 

Match Background: This match was made only because Red couldn’t make it back from Japan. They’ve never faced each other in TNA rings.

 

The Match: As Kid Kash comes down the aisle, he brings Trinity down with him to second him tonight and nullify any of Desire’s interference. Borash doesn’t bother with the boxing style intros this week. They charge the ring together as they face off with Siaki and Desire, respectively and do the exact same things....duel irish whips and dropkicks. Kash and Siaki are in the ring alone now and Kash gets the advantage with a few arm drags. Siaki pulls him to the outside and stun guns him onto the guard rail and swings him into it. An irish whip is reversed and Kash whips him into the guard rail and throws a chair at him! He throws Siaki back and hits a HIGH Guillotine legdrop for two. Siaki comes back with an overhead belly to belly into the corner for two. Siaki charges into the corner, but eats boot and Kash moonsaults onto him for two. BANKROLL~! gets two because Kash HATES me. Siaki turns an irish whip into the VIAGRA DRIVER~! and THAT only gets two becuase Siaki HATES me. How can a pumphandle into a sit out tombstone not get a pinfall? Kash comes back with a rana and a DDT, no selling the head. He goes for the cover, but Desire pulls him off. Siaki and Kash go back and forth in an irish whip, until Desire trips Kash right into the Siakalypse for the pin.

 

My Opinion: They worked well together, but the match needed a lot more time. They no sold a lot of big time moves and that’s pretty much what you get. Trinity and Kid Kash are a good fit together as their movesets are both composed of ranas and moonsaults. However, Trinity has technically been a heel all this time with Devine Storm and there was no real explanation to her face turn. *3/4.

 

Post match, Desire and Trinity begin brawling, but Trinity wins this round with a tornado DDT! Desire and Siaki escape.

 

West and Tenay go to hype next weeks show. TNA will be airing in Australia next week. Rowdy Roddy Piper will be on the show next week as well! Don West Heart Attack Time: AJ Styles vs. Larry Zybysko! Amazing Red will be back too!

 

Christopher Daniels, Elix Skipper, Low-Ki & Vince Russo vs. The Road Warrior, Jeff Jarrett and Dusty Rhodes

 

Match Background: Triple X attacked Jeff Jarrett two weeks ago and faced him individually in singles matches last week. The Road Warriors came to save him when the SEX faction tried to use their strength in numbers, so this match was made. Russo and Rhodes were added to the match earlier by Bullet Bob. Should Russo’s team win, he chooses the title contenders for all of the title matches next week.

 

The Match: Borash introduces Russo as a former WCW champion, which enrages Tenay. Hey, Borash works for TNA so he didn’t HAVE to. The Road Warriors have some pretty cool music. Russo is wearing a hockey helmet (with the mouthpiece in his mouth), along with a Yankees jump suit. He looks like a mentally challenged kid with that helmet on. Rhodes gets on the STICK~! and tells Russo to hurry up and dance. Daniels and JJ start the match out first, with JJ getting jumped by XXX in the corner. Daniels gets a leg lariat, but JJ comes back with a clothesline of his own. JJ punches Daniels into the corner, who gets a punch from everyone but Rhodes....who goes for the Bionic elbow, causing Daniels to back off into JJ. He tags Low-Ki in, who now has a bit of stubble on his head. He locks up with Animal who tosses him into the corner with POWER. Low-Ki gets a TIGHT headlock, but Animal again tosses him across the ring as I can just FEEL the stiffsness coming up. Low-Ki tries a springboard rana, but Animal gets a HARD sit out powerbomb. Skipper comes in and he helps double team Animal. Double suplex attempt ends with Animal suplexing both men! Hawk comes in who gets a shot on Elix, but Elix gets the advantage when they lock up in the ring. Hawk big boot leads to a Hawk DROPKICK!? Elix bridges out of a cover and hits a spin kick....actually it grazed the top of Hawk’s head and he took a bump off of it. Didn’t look right. Elix nails him with a few forearms, but Hawk no sells them and clotheslines him down. Gutwrench suplex before he tags in the champ. Elix takes over on JJ.....and Russo takes a cheap shot from the outside. Elix goes to drive him onto the ropes, but Elix lands on them and Jarrett does it to him! THE STRUT~! JJ knocks the rest of them down with punches but gets nailed from behind when he goes after Russo. XXX holds him as Russo nails Jarrett with cheap shots on the outside. Back in the ring now, Elix and Daniels hit him with a double team front suplex. JJ in the corner as Low-Ki and Skipper drive their boots into his face. Low-Ki with a front face lock on Jarrett...who makes the tag to Animal, but the ref didn’t see it and won’t let him in the ring. A desperation JJ dropkick misses as he’s just being worked over in the corner with malice. Double team again by XXX as Low-Ki gets a springboard kick to the face and a Low-Ki knee drop to the back. Daniels goes for the STO, but JJ elbows out and both men go down with clotheslines. He finally makes the hot tag to Dusty who takes out everyone with Bionic Elbows! He wants Russo....who’s taken off the jump suit to reveal just a T-shirt that reads Brooklyn. Russo gets into the ring.....but Mr. Wrestling IV comes in and nails Dusty Rhodes in the back of the head with a chain! Elix covers...the ref is in position.....ONE...TWO....THREE! Mr. Wrestling IV reveals himself to be “The Russian Nightmare” Nikita Koloff as Mike Tenay has about 10 Heart Attacks!

 

My Opinion: The match was booked very smart, with Russo and Rhodes being kept out for most of it except the finish. Jarrett as a face in peril with Triple X destroying him for the most part kept the match interesting without it being a completely train wreck. The Road Warriors kept their work short and quick and the fans were into them while they were in the ring. Also...how many people remember Nikita Koloff? Of all people, why would he join SEX? Just to face off with Dusty? **1/2

 

End of PPV.

 

Overall: This week’s show wasn’t even as good as last weeks....and that’s not good. TOO much talk as they were only 5 matches this week and the matches were kept relatively quick. Russo’s SEX faction was all over the program and there wasn’t one great match all night. Hopefully, the show will get a lot better and SOON.

 

Please remember to check TheSmartMarks.com out this weekend as I’ll have my exclusive Diatribe on WWE Royal Rumble 2003 up sometime Sunday Night/Monday Morning.

 

‘Til Sunday night...

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

 

Any questions, comments, hate mail, lovely dovey letters, marriage proposals, job offers, ANYTHING....send it all to [email protected]

 

You can read all of my other work in the Archives, located HERE.

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