SWF Smarkdown for January 17th!!!

January 18, 2003

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The opening pyros for the show go off as the always hot Detroit crowd begins to cheer like mad, and another SWF Smarkdown begins! The fans, many of whom are dressed faithfully in their Red and White, make sure that the at home audience knows they are loud and proud of being at this great show tonight. As soon as the opening theme cuts out we go down to the ringside announcer’s table, where ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens (Who is possibly the only man within a 10 mile radius actually wearing a Detroit Tigers hat) and Bobby Riley.

“Hi! I’m ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens, welcoming you to another fantastic and exciting edition of SWF Smarkdown! We’ve got a great show lined up, with matches like CIA vs. Tod DeKindes, Tom Flesher vs. Mak Francis, and a mammoth match in the Hville Thugg vs. El Luchadore Magnifico. On top of that, we have a Hardcore Gamer’s Title defense as well, with the newly crowed Hardcore Gamer’s Champion, Judge Mental, facing off against Annie Eclectic and Michael Craven.”

“NOW TESTIFY!”

The words are suddenly screamed across the arena, and there is a decent sized pop along with a decent amount of boos as the hometown boy, Judge Mental, wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a black shirt with Magnificent 7 in crooked red letters. On his shoulder lays the Hardcore Gamers Title, and he smiles as he walks into the ring with a mic in his hand.

“I’m glad to see that some people in this city still have some taste in good wrestlers.” He opens, getting a mix of boos and cheers. “And I’m going to show them that a real wrestler can beat any of these pathetic ‘Hardcore’ fakes. As long as I hold this belt, I’m going to make sure it gets the respect of the true hardcore wrestling fans out there.” Another distinctly mixed reaction, but Mental ignores it and moves on.

“But I’ve come out here to say something to Annie Eclectic. Know you think you are going to come out here tonight, beat me over the head with something and pin me to take the title. Well, that isn’t going to happen. In fact-” he gives a devilish grin “-I’m going to make her submit to the truth: That straight-up wrestling can beat garbage wrestling any day of the week.” Some big boos come out for that remark. “Yes, I’m going to make her tap out tonight to prove a point: th-”

‘I Get Wet’ begins to blare across the speakers, and the crowd goes wild as the thrashing guitars signal the arrival of Annie Eclectic! She comes out, swinging her bokken around at her side, and begins to speak up on her own microphone.

“I don’t think so, old man. I’m not tapping to some fraud who thinks he can just walk right into my world and take my title. You haven’t even seen the tip of the Hardcore iceberg yet, and I plan to show you tonight in our match.” As she begins to walk, the Judge calls out to her.

“How is your back, Ms. Eclectic? Still bothering you?”

She turns around and looks at Judge Mental, knowing exactly what he’s talking about.

“I did my research on you and I noticed that your back really bothers you. Must have been from that best of 5 series with Tod. Well, I have something just right for that.” He gives a point to the SmarkTron, signaling a video to come up on the screen.

QUOTE

Mental capitalizes on the opportunity by dragging Blank into the middle of the ring and picks his legs up to start a high angle Boston Crab. Blank struggles to not turn over, but the stronger Mental turns him over and pulls his legs back hard while standing over Blank. Blank tries to escape, reaching for the ropes, but Mental made sure to drag him right to the center. Mental bends back even further, putting even more pressure on the injured back of Blank, a sadistic smile coming over his face. Blank howls, trying hang in there. Out of options and the pain of his back becoming more and more immense by the second, Blank finally does it.

TAP TAP TAP!

Blank hits the mat with his hand like there is no tomorrow, realizing that one match isn’t worth a serious back injury that could plague him his whole career. The ref signals for the bell and asks Judge Mental to stop.... but he refuses, pulling back farther. The refs don't go near him, not wanting to anger the obviously stronger man, but eventually...

The crowd buzzes with curiosity as they watch Annie cautiously determine her reply.

"Mighty impressive... making a Junior Leaguer submit is quite an accomplishment for someone of your stature.... I'll admit, submission wrestling isn't really my specialty. I've done a couple here and there but I'm more of an impact fighter. But just because you're Mr. Make-You-Tap doesn't mean you're the better wrestler.....," boasts the Hardcore Queen.

The SmarkTron crackles back to life, showing another video clip from days past...

QUOTE

(Molly begins pounding on the ring apron, as the crowd follows suit, stomping to the beat she lays on the canvas. The crowd cheers for Annie who makes one more attempt, pulling hard on Sacred's waistband.... lifting.... getting Sacred nearly perpendicular to her body... trying to lift higher.... and suddenly drops Sacred as he musters the strength to send a weak left hand into Annie's ribs!)

Grand Slam: Sacred counters and the crowd just deflates from it! Annie E almost had this won, she nearly had Sacred up for her devastating Annie-T...

Riley: But she DIDN'T HIT IT Mark! Sacred's back up and Annie will have hell to pay!

(Sacred rises to his feet and throws a forearm into Annie's ribs, sending her stumbling backwards a step. Another forearm backs her up further, and another sends her stumbling backwards into the ropes. Sacred presses up against her and grabs her wrist, sending her into the opposite ropes. Annie hits the ropes on the other side... but holds onto the ropes to stop her forward motion. Sacred catches Annie's reversal and runs towards her. Annie rushes forward as well as both meet in the center of the ring..... and Annie quickly lifts the body of Sacred onto her shoulders! In an instant Annie grabs Sacred's legs in front of her and pulls as she drops down. Sacred flies in front of Annie, who quickly grabs ahold of Sacred's head and presses it hard into her shoulder as she lands in a sit out. All the impact goes straight to Sacred's head who limply rolls off to one side onto his back...)

Grand Slam: SPLASHDOWN! SPLASHDOWN! SPLASHDOWN! Annie E hits the Splashdown out of NOWHERE.... AND THE COVER!!!

ONE....

TWO....

THREE!!!!!

DING DING DING

(Molly leaps into the air and whoops with delight as "She is Beautiful" by Andrew W.K. plays over the PA system.)...

"Riddle me this, lawman. How many World Champions have you made submit?"

Judge Mental reddens at the attack on his credibility. He brings the microphone back up to his lips and replies...

"Just because you got a lucky shot on a Main Eventer means nothing in this match! Superior wrestling skills will beat dumb luck any day of the week. So bring your trash cans, your wooden swords, your road signs and most importantly, your lucky penny. It won't mean a thing when I hit one of many submissions in my repitoire. Your Judgement Day is coming, and I'll be there to put the gavel down on your career."

Annie Eclectic stares at her opponent with cool and calculated resentment.

"Keep yappin, Wapner. 'Cause when I have you out cold on your back in the middle of the ring, there will be no one to save you from the one... two... three. Since I'm under oath, trust me. That isn't a threat, and that isn't a promise. THAT, my friend..."

The crowd follows in to match Eclectic as she yells, "A DECREE! From the HARD! CORE! QUEEN!"

"I Get Wet" blares inside the Joe Louis Arena one more time as the Carnie turns on her heel and walks confidently back up the entrance ramp to the backstage area.

"These two are just starting to heat up a rivalry that may go down in the record books, but one thing seems incredibly out of place," notes Mark Stevens, "How intent are Judge Mental and Annie Eclectic to rip each other apart? There's one more combatant in the match and he is a four time Hardcore Gamers Champion. Are they both looking past Craven to each other? Things are looking great for tonight's card, and we have more action, right now! On S W F SmarkDown!"

January 18, 2003

The card, chilluns!

SWF Smarkdown! - January 17, 2003

Live from the Joe Loius Arena in Detroit, Michigan!

Singles Match

Xero v. Taylor Nicholas Thompson, "TNT"

Singles Match

CIA v. Tod deKindes

Singles Match

Perfect Bo v. Stryke

Triple Threat Hardcore Gamers Title Match

Judge Mental © v. Michael Craven v. Annie Eclectic

Singles Match

Mak Francis v. Tom Flesher

Triple Threat ICTV Title Match

Orochi © v. Frost v. Danny Williams

Non-Title, No DQ Match

H-Ville Thugg v. El Luchadore Magnifico

January 18, 2003

A commercial advertising “Fight Club ON ICE!!” comes to its conclusion, and viewers around the World are shoved into a big puddle of SWF SMARKDOWN!! Weird metaphor there, but it doesn’t matter, as the Detroit fans are on their feet, the Smarkdown theme music is playing, and the unlikely team of Bobby Riley and Mark Stevens are psyching themselves up for what is sure to be one amazing night!

“Good evening ladies, gents, and everything in between to SWF Smarkdown!” Stevens bellows. “We have quite the card lined up for you all tonight… and I’m sure a match with a longer word limit will have time to explain later on, but this one doesn’t, so let’s get right to the action as ‘TNT’ Taylor Nicholas Thompson, a returning SWF superstar, goes head to head with XERO!!”

“Xero, so hot right now… Xero,” Riley murmurs to himself, but all he gets is an odd glare from Stevens, before we head right to the ring, where Funyon, dressed in his astonishingly handsome one-piece tuxedo, is ready to give the introductions!

Silence… and then, “Ladies and gentlemen and the Suicide King, WELCOME TO SWF STOOOORM!! The first matchup of the night is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…”

“OY!”

The initial beats of AC/DC’s “TNT” kick up on the loudspeakers, foreshadowing the in-ring return of… well, um, as the name of the song might suggest, TNT!! Surprisingly enough, the crowd gives Taylor a rather mixed reaction, a good portion of the fans excited to see the explosive one back in action, while others boo furiously, memories of Taylor’s sadistic antics still etched into their skulls.

“Weighing in at an explosive 264 pounds… hailing from Anaheim, California… ‘TNT’ Tayloooor Nicholaaaaaaaaaaaas Thoooooooooompssoooooooooooooon!!!!!”

After the music’s been playing for a while, the crowd starts to wonder just where the hell the dynamite warrior IS, but their curiosities are quickly resolved, as the hulking mass that is Taylor Nicholas Thompson appears onstage, just in time for…

“WATCH ME EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!”

***BOOM***

A fiery wall of orange pyrotechnics forms onstage, and TNT picks up his pace to match the beat of the song. Reaching the ring, Taylor slides under the bottom rope, casting an intimidating shadow over the much smaller Funyon. He raises his hands into the air, letting out a thunderous “KABOOM!”, but that’s it. Obviously wanting to get straight to the match and finish it as quickly as possible, Thompson assumes a semi-squatting position near the center of the ring, his eyes locked intently on the entrance ramp, as his music fades out.

“And there he is,” Stevens marvels at the physical specimen. “Former SWF Tag Team Champion, SWF United States Champion, and SJL Television Champion. He certainly made an impression when he was here last, but he’s looking to make one just as large this time around, and to be taken seriously, too.”

“I’m actually a bit confused as to who to root for here… I mean, they’re both badguys…”

“Here’s a thought! Just keep quiet then, except for the occasional gay joke, eh?”

“I… wait, what?”

“Shh, quiet.”

Before Riley can retort once more, Megadeth’s “Trust” pumps from the PA System, and the crowd courteously BOOS THE SHIT out of the soon-to-be-arriving competitor.

“And his opponent…” Funyon begins, but Xero himself is already halfway down the ramp, and rapidly approaching at a phenomenal rate! The King of the DDT hops up to the apron without hesitation, and from there, leaps up to the top rope of the ring in a single bound! Not having any trouble balancing, Xero springboards from the top rope towards TNT, trying to catch him by surprise with a springboard hurricanrana! All is in slow motion now, as Funyon gets the hell out of dodge, and the crowd looks on is awe as Xero soars through the air…

“XERO TRYING FOR AN EARLY HURRICANRANA TO CATCH TNT OFFGUARD! AND KNOWING TNT’S USUALLY OBLIVIOUS STATE, XERO COULD VERY WELL PULL THIS OFF!!!!” Stevens shrieks in excitement.

*** DING DING DING ***

…And lands in a seated position on Thompson’s shoulders, his legs clasping the sides of the TNT’s head! Immediately Xero goes to lean backwards and take TNT down with him, but Taylor, who was apparently completely on guard this entire time, grabs Xero by the waist with both arms…

*** THUD ***

…And absolutely craters Xero into the mat with an EXTREMELY STIFF sit-out powerbomb! Xero takes most of the contact on the back of his skull, and upon impact his eyes flutter into the back of his head, as his body goes completely limp!

“MUSHROOM CLOUD!! MUSHROOM CLOUD!! TAYLOR HITS HIS NEW FINISHER, VERY MUCH LIKE FROST’S ‘EARLY WINTER,’ ON XERO!!”

“Xero’s shoulders are down and TNT is on top! Just the way he likes it!”

“…”

“ONE!!!”

“TWO!!”

“T

H

R

E

…!!!”

*** DING DING DING ***

“The winner of this match, at seven seconds… ‘TNT’ TAAAAAYLOR NIIIICHOLAS THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMPSOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!”

“WOW! WHAT A CLASSIC~!”

“Xero, having fought TNT in the past, thought that he could completely find TNT in a vulnerable state to gain the early advantage in this matchup, but he was obviously wrong! Taylor seems to have changed greatly over the last few months… and this is just a taste of what is yet to come [though I’m sure ‘what is yet to come’ will be much longer matches]!! Anyhow, next up we have CIA going head-to-head with Tod deKindes… we’ll be right back!!”

The last vision onscreen is that of Taylor Thompson, a broad yet sadistic smile painted across his face, as he looks down upon the fallen Xero and holds up a single finger. “One” Taylor mouths silently. Xero fell to an unmistakably altered TNT tonight, becoming Victim-Number-One… whether or not more will follow is yet to be seen, but as for tonight, the fans of Detroit have most certainly watched Taylor Nicholas Thompson explode. TNT stands tall, as his theme music blares in the background.

January 18, 2003

"Fans, welcome back to Joe Louis Arena in beautiful Detroit!" Grand Slam is his usual shilling self. "It's bound to be a thrilling night!"

"Mark, the only interesting thing that's happened tonight is that guy in the front row who was eating a foot-long hot dog."

"Oh, you're just excited about the mustard stain on his chin."

"Well excuse me for being a condiment-shot aficionado."

Stevens turns toward the camera, unsure of how to proceed. He clears his throat, and then says, "Fans, our next match this evening-"

Suddenly, the arena lights up with a bright blue explosion, leaving it covered with a thick blanket of smoke as the first measures of "Kashmir" ring out through the public address system. Impatiently, Tom Flesher cuts through the curtain holding a microphone. As soon as he makes is appearance, he shouts, "CUT THE MUSIC!" Obediently, the production crew cuts off "Kashmir" without even the customary fireworks display.

"Let me tell you something," Flesher says as he stomps his way to the ring. "Tom Flesher is pissed. It's bad enough that tonight I have to wrestle the kid I practically taught the business to. That's right, Mak Francis. Have no delusions about who carries the responsibility for your success. I own you on the mat, I own you on your feet, and I'm just going to send you home tonight. Don't even think about the Tag Team Title shot right now, because tonight I'm going to make you sorry you won it."

Flesher pauses to clear his throat as the crowd boos him. Tom continues, "No, what I'm mostly angry about is this."

Tom gestures to the SmarkTron, which shows a flashback to the SWF Holds Down Christmas pay-per-view from December 22. The heavily edited clip shows El Luchadore Magnifico leaping off the top of the cage with a Mexican Pride Press and missing Flesher, landing hard on his stomach. It shows Flesher backdrop-suplexing Magnifico off of the cage wall while supporting himself on the middle of the second rope. Finally, it shows the last few seconds of the grapple on top of the cage, culminating in Magnifico superplexing Tom onto the ramp and ending the match in a draw. The fans boo heavily in reaction.

"You all saw that," Flesher says disgustedly. "Now let me tell you something. I've beaten El Luchadore Magnifico in the past, and I've stretched his spindly little lucha frame more times than I can count. I am clearly, doubtlessly and unequivocally BETTER than El Luchadore Magnifico, and if there's anyone in this arena who disputes that, come see Judge Mental and me after the show so we can set you straight." With that, the fans begin a chant of "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! *clap clap clapclapclap* YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! *clap clap clapclapclap*" Flesher pauses, nodding impatiently, and finally decides to no-sell the chant.

"So," Tom continues, "here I am, 100% better than El Luchadore Magnifico, and yet he has the SWF World Heavyweight Championship. There's something wrong with this picture, people. Anyone with a grade 3 education can see that."

"And yet, I haven't been offered a rematch. Your hero, your idol, El Luchadore Magnifico goes the distance with the Superior One, and the best he can do is a suicide dive that puts us out at the same time, and for drawing the World Champion, I'm rewarded with undercarders like Mak *BLEEP* Francis and some guy who leads the only beaver he'll ever see around on a leash. So this is what I want. RIGHT NOW, this VERY SECOND, I want-"

ALL ABOARD!!!!!!

A HA HA HA HA HA......

Flesher is cut off mid-tirade by Ozzy Osbourne's disturbed laugh, followed by the opening guitar lines of "Crazy Train." As the fans boo loudly, SWF Commissioner Brian Applewhite, better known as the Suicide King, steps through the curtain. Looking no less than extremely upset, he stomps to the ring without delay and stands nose to nose with Flesher. After a moment, Suicide King takes the microphone and says, simply, "What?"

"Well, I... er... I..." Flesher is clearly a bit surprised to see King, as well as awed by the man he works so hard to emulate.

"Right now, this very second, you want what?"

"Er..."

"Come on, Flesher. I don't have all night. I've got Mike Van Siclen's mom in the back."

Flesher smirks briefly before realizing that it might be best not to make light of the situation. "Listen, King, I took Magnifico to a draw at SWF Holds Down Christmas, and I've gotten jack *BLEEP* since then. I want to know when I'm going to get my rematch so I can send him back to Mexico, finish my walk on the King's Road and take that belt home with me."

"Simple, Flesher. I have one simple word for you...

...

Clusterfuck."

In spite of themselves, the fans pop for the announcement of a World Title defense at the pay-per-view as King produces a contract and a pen. The fans are even more excited since it's a rematch of two of the most spectacular matches in recent memory. Flesher, though, still looks dissatisfied.

"Now, wouldn't you say, because Magnifico initiated the action that lead directly to the draw, that it's clear that he knew he couldn't win?"

"Well, I don't-"

"Of course it's clear, King. Even the fans know it's clear."

Flesher pauses for a second to allow the fans to pop. Instead they simply boo loudly. Flesher shakes his head, mutters "God damn marks," and then continues. "Listen, King, he did something immoral to save his title. He needs to be penalized to make that right. So here's what I propose: The match at Clusterfuck will be a SUBMISSION MATCH!"

The fans boo loudly, offended at Flesher's self-serving demand. King, caught off-guard by the monumental request, nods. "Tom, it's the least I can possibly do."

Flesher smirks, extends his hand, and says, "King, it's a pleasure doing business with-"

UNO!

DOS!

TRES!

CUATRO!!!!

The Joe EXPLODES into cheers as if Steve Yzerman had just taken the ice while “Mission Trip to Mexico” hits the speakers and the SWF Heavyweight Champion comes out onto the ramp! Looking like someone keyed his car, ELM angrily stomps down the ramp with the Mexican Flag lying his left shoulder and a mic in hand.

“No no nonono, amigo! I don’t think so!” He says, pointing at Flesher as he tosses his flag to a nearby ring attendant. “I’m not going to get screwed over like that again. No, senor, this time, we are playing by MY rules.”

He slides into the ring, and, making sure to keep an eye on both of them, and he begins to speak up. “Last time, I fought you in an Ultimate Submissions match, gringo. I lost my belt because it was your stipulation. Well, it’s MY turn to pick the match. And I say…”

The crowd goes silent, waiting for what they are all hoping so hard for….

“…it’s going to be a LADDER match!” The crowd gives a massive pop that nearly blows the top off the Joe. Unfortunately, King has other plans.

“Who the hell are you to tell me, the Commissioner of the Smarks Wrestling Federation, what to do?” he says, angry at the interruption, “Look, ELM, what I say, goes. If you don’t like it, then I will strip you of your belt and fire your ass, okay? Now it isn’t gonna be a ladder match, it’s going to be a submission match for the SWF World Title at Clusterfuck and nothing you say can change that.” As he finishes up, he goes over to Tom to shake his hand to finalize the deal-

“Well, if you don’t make it a ladder match, I’m going to the Japanese bosses.”

-and he immediately pulls it back as if Tom’s hand were scolding hot iron.

“Mags… Mags…” King says with more artificial sweetness than a box of Sugarcoated Chocobombs, “Now, you wouldn’t DARE talk to the bosses and rat me out… would you?” ELM gives a little smirk, and King’s fake smile leaves his face.

“Remember how Thugg got here, esse? You don’t think I can do that again?”

At that remark King gives an angry sigh. “The match for the SWF World at Clusterfuck…. Is now…” He strains, keeping his anger as internal as possible. “A….” King tries to fight what he really wants to say back, and he gives a look reminiscent of a person who has eaten a dozen lemons in a few minutes, “Ladder match.” Another massive crowd pop, but Flesher immediately walks over and begins yelling.

“What the ****?! Damn it, it’s going to be a submission match, or you’ve lost your best damn athlete!”

“Tom I-”

“Esse, you can say anything to get him to change it. This time, I have the trump card. Right, King?” He smiles to a fuming Brian Applewhite. But suddenly, his expression changes; a plan begins to form in his mind, and he begins talking again.

“ELM, you said you wanted a ladder match, and if you didn’t get a ladder match, the bosses would be angry?”

“Yes, King, very angry.”

The grin of a con-man breaks across King’s face, and he begins to speak again. “Well, ELM, I’m going to give you that match. Right now, it’s a ladder match for the SWF World Title!” Tom immediately begins to come over to say something to King, but the Gambling Man just motions with his hand to say nothing.

“Mags, you may think we are playing stud poker, but think again…” Says the Suicide King with a grin, and ELM watches him like a hawk.

“We are most certainly playing draw poker, mi compadre, and I haven’t drawn my… one… card.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Joker card, the clown on it giving a sickening smile.

“Well it looks like a Joker. And we all know what that means…” ELM backs up again, wary of King actually trying to attack him.

“It means, my friend, that we are going to have to something wild. Something that’s never been done in the SWF before. And I have just the idea. You, Mags, are going to get your Ladder match, just so the Japanese bosses won’t get angry.” He gives a devilish grin, and goes on.

“But as long as I have the ladder match, it doesn’t stop me from adding anything ELSE to the mix. So that means Tom will get his submission match as well!” The crowd gives worried murmurs at the King’s proclamation. "That's right. Either of you can win by EITHER..." King sneers at Magnifico. "Climbing the ladder, OR..." He pats Flesher on the back. "By making your opponent submit." With that, King makes a pair of small notations on the contract and comes up with a big fake smile.

"Listen up, esse," protests Magnifico. "That's not fair! That's not what I asked for, and that's NOT what-"

"Listen," says King diplomatically. "I understand your plight, but you better not get greedy." The fans boo loudly, and Magnifico still looks dissatisfied. Finally, King sighs, "Fine. If the submission stipulation bothers you so much, come on over here and cross it out yourself."

Magnifico begins to step cautiously toward King, who holds the contract out like a matador waving his cape at a bull. As soon as he does, however, the curtain parts and Judge Mental, Danny Williams and Frost come barrelling out of the back! Before Magnifico even sees then, the three Magnificent Seven members have clobbered him from behind! The begin their beatdown, which culminates in Mental and Williams crossing ELM's arms across his chest and bending him over, allowing Flesher to jump onto the World Champion's back and pose! As Flesher poses, the fans begin to cheer! Suddenly, Alex Zenon, Annie Ecelectic and CIA leap over the guardrail, charging the ring... and each person is carrying a weapon! Anne slides into the ring with her Kendo stick, poses for one second, and nails Flesher in the back with it! The Superior One tumbles forward, and Judge and Williams spin around to see what happened. As they do, Zenon, wielding his chair, and CIA, carrying a Red Wings hockey stick, slide into the ring.

Mental tries to make a grab for Annie's Kendo stick, but Zenon halts him in his tracks with a brutal chairshot that makes the jurist collapse into a stunned puddle on the mat. Zenon slams him once again as Annie whirls around to whack Danny Williams.... who catches the Kendo stick! e stares at her, shooting mental daggers through her... but not for long, as CIA lifts his hockey stick and, with a flourish that draws a huge pop from the crowd, brings the hockey stick down hard across Williams' neck! Frost, standing off to the side, snickers, but as Annie starts waving her Kendo stick, his face suddenly tightens up. Murmuring about picking his battles, Frost carefully backs away.

Magnifico stands up and forcefully grabs the contract from Suicide King. He scrawls his name on it, and Alex Zenon rolls Tom Flesher onto his back. Magnifico grabs the mic and straddles Flesher. He shouts, "SEE YOU AT CLUSTERFUCK!" then throws down the microphone. He stops, pauses and takes just a moment to spit in the unconscious Flesher's face before the Carnival leaves the ring to a tremendous ovation.

January 18, 2003

**Back from commercial break, the crowd is already on their feet as 'Secret Agent Man' is blaring over the speakers and as the man known as CIA is seen entering the ring.**

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, making his way to the ring for our next contest; he hails from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and is a member of the Midnight Carnival. Weighing in at 237 lbs, he is the Canadian Intelligence Agent, also know as: Seeee - Aye - Eeeeeeehhh !!

Stevens: We're not gonna waste any time as we go straight to another match, as CIA gets set to take on Tod deKindes, Bobby!

Riley: My boy Tod deKindes has been neglected lately, Slammer and I have a feeling that he's gonna take it out on his Canadian Counterpart, if you will.

**Just as his usual effects and ring music dissipate, CIA is seen with a mic in hand as he's ready to adress the crowd with a short prematch speech.**

CIA: Tod deKindes … (crowd heartily boos) So I hear you like to come out here before your matches and complain to anyone that'll listen about your crappy treatment, eh? Why don't you just come out here right now and complain to my face?! Although MY solution merely involves my fist to your mouth and my foot through your ASS! So come on out here!!

**As the crowd cheeringly approves of the Canadian one's threats, CIA tosses the microphone back to Funyon, so he can finish off his intros. Just as he clears his throat, we hear 'Cold' by Static X erupt from the speakers as the crowd lapses into another round of boos.**

Funyon: And his opponent: from Toronto, Ontario, Canada; weighing in at 227 lbs. He is the Sole Surviving Member Of X Force Nine, And He's Not In The Mood To Hear Any Of YOUR Crap Tonight … Tod - deeeeeeeeeeee - Kin - deeeeeeesssss!!

**As the usual smoke and strobe lights invade the entrance area, the song plays on … but no sign of Tod himself for now. All eyes are diverted towards the Smarktron, as CIA awaits with hands on hips and ready to pounce.**

…

Stevens: There doesn't seem to be any sign of your boy, Bobby! Would he be AFRAID of a little competition?

Riley: Tod deKindes is NOT afraid of a man that he's already beaten! I wouldn't be surprised if he just decided to stay in his dressing room and listen to some Nickelback!

**As the song lingers on, everybody in the ring awaits the arrival of Tod … which seems to never come. Until suddenly, a small commotion seems to happen behind the announce table.**

Stevens: Hey wait a second!

**The camera barely has time to catch a glimpse of the announce table, as Tod deKindes darts into the ring out of nowhere and FLOORS CIA with a running forearm to the back of the head!**

Stevens: Tod deKindes just came from the crowd and has caught CIA from behind to start things off!

Riley: He was right behind us, Slammer!

**Caught off guard, Eddy Long quicky calls for the opening bell, as Tod stomps down the surprised CIA with hard kicks to the head and ribs.**

Riley: How's THAT for motivation? Tod came out of nowhere and now he's LAYING into CIA!

**Tod forces his fellow countryman up to his feet by the hair and forcefully shoves him into a corner, where he absolutely tears into him with MORE vicious kicks, punctuated by knee lifts to the midsection. Ignoring Long's five count, Tod grabs CIA by the left wrist and damn near yanks his arm off as he Irish whips him to the opposite corner with full force. The Canadian one staggers out, holding his lower back, which only allows Tod to knock him down with a BIG time spear. Tod quickly floats over into a mounted position and showers CIA on his masked head with a lightning quick series of rapid fire right hands to the side of the head; drawing a closed fist warning from Eddy Long.**

Tod: I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!!!

**Tod forces CIA up to his feet, only to double him over with a nasty boot to the mid section. He throws himself off into the ropes and connects with a HUGE delayed swinging neckbreaker on the canadian agent man. He bounces off the ropes one more time and leaps off his feet …only to land with a big time knee drop right on the forehead! He takes a second to angrily blow off a lock of hair from his face, and THEN applies the lateral press, making sure to really grind his forearm in CIA's face out of spite.**

ONE!

TWO!

**Kick out by CIA, who thinks about rolling to his feet in order to try and recover, only THAT is stopped by a nasty kick to the head by Tod. He brings CIA back up to his feet, only to send him to the ropes via an Irish whip. Clearly not in the mood for any fancy theatrics, he wastes no time as he MURDERS CIA with a thunderous back elbow! Casting another hateful glare towards his opponent, Tod takes another second to flip his hair back and force CIA back up to his feet once again. He shoves his head into a standing head scissor and almost immediately DRIVES his head down to the mat with a vicious jumping piledriver! Cover by Tod.**

ONE!

TWO!

TH--!

**Valiant kick out by CIA. Tod once again pulls him up by the whatever he can grab, be it hair or parts of the mask; and violently sends his face ramming into a turnbuckle! He grabs another two handfuls of hair and mask, and once again RAMS CIA's face into the corner, which only serves to further daze the canadian one. Then, in a move purely meant to humiliate and demonstrate contempt, Tod casually shoves CIA's face backwards, trapping him in the corner; which allows Tod to rear back with his open hand, and …**

*SMACK!!*

** …strikes with a MASSIVE knife edge chop! Meanwhile, the colorful exchange between Tod and Eddy Long is picked up by the camera mic …**

Long: Come on, out of the corner!

Tod: SHUT UP!!

Long: Come on, I said out!

Tod: And I said SHUT UP!!!!

**Fending off the annoyance provided by the referee for now, Tod takes both of his hands and wraps them around CIA's throat in what looks like …well, IS a blatant choke hold!**

Long: Come on, ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!! Break it!!

**Long physically removes the pseudo german's hand from his opponent's gullet, causing Tod to cast another evil glare towards the referee.**

Long: When I say break, you BREAK, damn it!!

Tod: GET OUTTA MY FACE!! I DON'T DESERVE TO BE HERE!!

**Tod quickly returns his focus back to CIA, as he literally starts stomping a mudhole into him. Instead of walking it dry, he chooses to once again try and deprive CIA's brain of oxygen as he applies another chokehold, causing CIA to further slump down to the mat. Tod also shouts a few more tirades at his opponent.**

Tod: I COULD'VE HAD A TITLE SHOT!! BUT I'M FUCKIN' *STUCK* WITH *YOU* INSTEAD!!

**Before he can draw another five count and a warning from Eddy Long, Tod simply releases the hold and paces in circles, positionning himself; so he can briskly stride across the ring and NAIL CIA *right* in the face with a seated drop kick! Tod gets up to survey the damage …and CIA is hardly moving! He grabs his foot and yanks him to the center of the ring and then rousts Long into position.**

Tod: C'mon COUNT!! I got a title to win!!

ONE!

TWO!

TH--!

**Shoulder up by CIA, as Tod suppresses a german curse word for the time being.**

Stevens: Tod looks to be OBSESSED with the ICTV title, Bobby! He's already looking past *this* match!

Riley: He knows where his priorities lie, Slammer. In his mind, Tod deKindes is NOT fighting people who he has no history with, like CIA here or Nathaniel Kibagami last week! In his mind, Tod is already victorious and HOLDING UP the ICTV belt!

Stevens: That title is up for grabs later tonight, but should Tod win here against CIA, like him or not, he WILL be seen as a serious contender from now on!

**Trying to remain focused, Tod raises CIA up to his feet by the hair and tosses him once again into the ropes with an Irish whip. CIA gains a slight degree of mind presence, as he has the wherewithall to duck under Tod's beheading clothesline attempt, and then under another head removing back elbow attempt. However on the third bounce, Tod stops CIA cold and dead in his tracks as he buries a fist deep in his gut. He grabs another handful of hair and violently YANKS him back down to the mat.**

Tod: YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME!! THAT TITLE IS MINE!!

**He drops an elbow right on the forehead for good measure, and goes back to applying a lateral press for the cover, with forearm in place.**

ONE!

TWO!

TH-!

Stevens: And no, he kicks out! You gotta hand it to CIA, he's resilient so far! But Tod is simply being BRUTAL with him!

Riley: There you see a man being denied his claim, Slammer! Tod deKindes was willing to betray his fans, his friends, his allies and even his LOVED ONES so that he could achieve success!

Stevens: Many have disagreed with his tactics and many have tried to stop him, but you can almost say that Tod is on a mission!

Riley: You know what happened to those people who tried to stop him, Slammer?

Stevens: What?

Riley: Tod has BEATEN and HUMILIATED them! Do I NEED to recall the list? …

Stevens: No thanks. But nonetheless, Tod seems to be making short work of CIA here!

**Hammering him with more hard right hands, Tod brings up CIA and rests his body up against the ropes, peppering him with a few disdainful slaps along the way. Sure of his shot, Tod goes for another Irish whip to the ropes on the canadian one, but it's reversed! Tod ducks under a CIA clothesline, as he decides to take his own run in the ropes. As the two nearly criss-cross among the strands, CIA dives in hope for a flying cross body …but he's CAUGHT by Tod!**

Tod: Aw, HELL, no!!

**Tod spins CIA around and DRIVES him hard into the mat with the Formula For Failure! He once again lies on top for the cover, still with the forearm grinding into the face.**

ONE!

TWO!

THR--!

**Another shoulder up by CIA. Instead of losing his cool, Tod opts to wrap his arms around CIA's neck, and then cinches in a front face lock to kill some time. Eddy Long meanwhile goes over to check the hold …**

Stevens: We've seen close to no offense by CIA thus far, but if you know him like I do, you know that he doesn't plan to go down without a fight. That young man is very resilient and it'll take a LOT to bring him down.

Riley: But look who's on top of him and forcing the air out of his brain, Slammer! The same man who's had a lengthy 49 day reign with the U.S. championship. The same man who has mile long list of people that he's beaten. Most of which who are established TOP stars in the SWF. We're talking about Annie Eclectic, Danny Williams, Tom Flesher, Fallout, Alex Zenon; the list goes ON! To deny him the success that he's owed would be CRIMINAL!

Stevens: I gotta admit, while his tactics are questionnable, a lot of people are starting to notice the resurgence of Tod deKindes. It's only a matter of time until he gets his fair shot.

**Meanwhile, just as Eddy Long was about to do the arm test, CIA starts showing signs of life, as he tries to work his way back up to his feet. The crowd starts to roar at his resurgence, to which Tod can't do much to counteract.**

Stevens: In the meantime, CIA is still in this thing!

Riley: One resurgence is one thing, just wait till Tod locks in that Silent Scream on CIA (as he's done BEFORE, might I add). There won't be no resurging THEN.

**With the crowd on his side, CIA fires back with a series of elbows and forearms into Tod's gut. After three or four strikes, one more seems to do the job as Tod releases the front face lock. CIA backtracks a few steps and bounces off the ropes, catching Tod with a stinging shoulderblock that knocks him down. CIA throws himself off the adjacent ropes, just as Tod rolls over to his stomach, letting CIA hop over him and proceed off the opposite ropes. Off of THAT bounce, Tod springs up to his feet and leapfrogs his charging opponent. Off the next bounce, Tod leaves his back turned to the charging CIA, falls onto his back and lifts his feet up in hopes of somewhat of a reverse monkey flip (catch my drift?), but CIA suddenly blocks and catches the feet in his hands and drops a solid fist right onto Tod's forehead! The pseudo german staggers up to his feet, only to be met with a gutshot and a big time high impact DDT! CIA floats over into a pinning position.**

ONE!

TWO!

Stevens: And a kick out by Tod deKindes! CIA looks about ready to build a comeback, Bobby!

**Still caught off guard by the DDT, Tod staggers up to his feet and doesn't see CIA standing and ready, as he charges and BLASTS him with a clothesline! Tod still manages to wobble up to his feet, which only allows CIA to blast him with ANOTHER clothesline! And a third! CIA takes control with a pair of right hands as he sends Tod to the ropes with an Irish whip of his own. He catches him in a modified press slam that tosses Tod WAY up in the air and lands him RIGHT on his face! Tod isn't even done doing THAT (falling down on his face), as CIA charges the opposite ropes so that he can drop a massive elbow onto the back of Tod's head. Cover by CIA, who makes sure to hook the leg.**

ONE!

TWO!

TH--!

**Kick out by Tod. Both men are back up, where CIA once again takes control as he grabs Tod's arm for an Irish whip. Tod reverses that one however, as he switches position with a modified arm twister, causing CIA to take the trip instead. Half a step slower, Tod takes a charge towards his immobilized opponent …only to have CIA put the boots up! Tod staggers off to the center of the ring, holding his jaw, while CIA hops up on the second turnbuckle. Just as Tod staggers into position, CIA leaps off from his perch of offense and connects with a neatly executed flying forearm shot, as opposed to his usual running variation. He lays on top of the not so german one for another cover.**

ONE!

TWO!

TH--!

**Another kick out by Tod. Not one to be discouraged by his opponent's crappy mood and persistence, CIA picks up Tod by the hair and shoves him back into a corner. He showers him with a series of kicks to the mid section, driving the air out of the lonely Niner. Just as CIA goes to Irish whip him to the opposite corner, Tod reverses with another switch, only to retake control with a poke to the eyes …**

Long: Hey, come on! Watch the eyes, Tod!

Tod: That was just a love tap! And I'll thank you to SHUT UP!!

**Tod grabs the temporarily blinded CIA into another face lock, then throws his arm up over his head, which can only signal one thing …**

Riley: There it is! The greatest trifecta of moves that has ever been witnessed in the wrestling ring, I give you the Tod Trilogy!!

Tod: Watch - and - LEARN, slugs!!

**He lifts up the slightly heavier CIA by the tights and effortlessly drops him to the mat with a perfect vertical suplex. Normally the crowd would go "Hoo!", that is if they still liked Tod, but at this time they're fairly indifferent. Tod holds onto CIA's tights and head as he rolls back onto his feet, still holding the moves. He lifts up CIA for a second time, holding him up for a few extra seconds long. Only he falls forward, driving CIA face first back onto the mat with a big time front suplex. Not quite done yet, Tod muscles him back up for a second time and lifts him up almost still without effort and holds him up …only to walk around in a few circles and then DRIVE CIA down hard to the mat with a devastating brainbuster! He pokes the masked man with his boot just to make sure, and then puts on the lateral press for the cover, with added forearm.**

ONE!

TWO!

THR--!

**Shoulder up at the last second by CIA. Tod releases yet another angry sigh as someone looks to be joining us under the Smarktron …**

Stevens: After all this punishment, CIA still finds it in his guts to kick out! …Hey wait a minute!

Riley: Look who's coming out to watch!

**Fans boo in unison as the Superior One Tom Flesher strides out to the stage in order to get a better look. At what? Only he knows for now. Flesher decides to remain on the stage, as Tod has CIA in a fireman's carry position …and PLANTS him to the canvas with a Death Valley Driver! He contemplates going for another cover, but instead he heads off towards a corner, where he undertakes a slow but steady climb of the turnbuckles.**

Stevens: Now what the HELL could Flesher be doing down here, Bobby?!

Riley: What do you THINK? There's only one thing he came here to do!

Stevens: Yeah, interfere?

Stevens: Yeah, he -- …No! … Doofhead.

**Tod seems to take a few extra seconds too long to jump.**

Tod: I beat this dorkwad up so much that he won't even MOVE!!

**Tod leaps off of his perch of overflowing confidence in an awkward position, readying himself for his picture perfect flying elbow drop. He snaps back into position …but CIA moves! Crowd roars as Tod hits nothing but mat.**

Stevens: CIA moved and there was NOBODY HOME on that one!!

Riley: Flesher looks worried! Maybe he should come down and take a look. Over here, Tom! I've got some coffee!!

**As Eddy Long puts on his expected count of ten, CIA slowly starts to make his way back up to his feet, aiding himself with the ropes; while Tod also starts to get up, shaking his now buggering elbow in order to get some feeling back into it. Both men are back up around the six or seven mark and exchanging right hands. CIA blocks a right from Tod and stars taking over with his own rights. Irish whip to the ropes by CIA, which is duly reversed by Tod. CIA ducks under another clothesline attempt, as well as another back elbow attempt. On the third bounce, Tod surprises the masked man as he grabs him by the back of the head and sends him FLYING over the top rope!**

Stevens: And to the outside CIA goes!

Riley: Well, we DO have Clusterfuck coming up. I'd say that's fairly smart strategy. If Tod can do that to CIA at Clusterfuck, then at least he'll have him taken care of. It's all in the psychology!

Stevens: …Right. Shut up.

**Taking a second to get his bearings back, Tod notices his chance opening up and places himself near the apron, with both hands firmly on the ropes.**

Riley: Looks like Tod is gonna fly now!

Stevens: Yeah, only to kick the guy in the head? I am NOT falling for it this time.

**Tod bends at the knees to gather enough propulsion so he can leap off his feet …but rather instead, he reaches through the ropes and basically yanks him back into the ring.**

Riley: There, see? No kicking!

Stevens: Please …

Riley: What, he doesn't want to win by count out! I mean, would YOU?!

**Tod wraps his arms around CIA's neck and takes him down with a quick and crisp snap mare in the center of the ring. He follows it up with an equally crisp low dropkick right on the back of the head, causing CIA to more or less crumble into a heap on the mat. Instead of going for a cover, Tod decides to do his own version of the referee's arm test, and picks up CIA's limp left wrist …and it drops.**

Riley: Say what you will Slammer, but 75% of this match has been ALL Tod, ALL the time! And now it looks as if he's about to put this one away!

Stevens: You can't deny that Tod has had the upper hand throughout most of the match. But you gotta know that CIA will have somehow find a way to retaliate before this match is over. Right now the result it still pretty much in the air. CIA *could* surprise us tonight, Bobby.

Riley: (clears throat exaggerately) This would be the part where I say "German - Wet - Dream - Machine"!!

**Indeed, as Tod does his old Reverse Guns To The Head motion, signaling for his finishing move. He picks up CIA to his feet and runs his arm through his legs, appropriating him into the dreaded pumphandle position. After hooking the other arm properly, Tod takes a second to give another confident shout out to the crowd.**

Tod: Y'all can kiss his ass GOODBYE!!

**As Flesher looks on somewhat approvingly, Tod lifts up CIA onto his shoulder …but CIA wiggles his legs and falls free behind Tod! He quickly hooks a rear waistlock and sends him crashing head first with a BIG TIME release german suplex! Finally recovering from his beating, CIA shakes the cobwebs loose and attempts to gather the masses behind him with a loud and victorious "C'MOOON!!". Having staggered back up, Tod walks right into a solid right hand which only serves to repeadetly knock him down. Irish whip to the ropes by CIA, whom catches Tod with a HUGE flapjack that sends Tod face first! While Tod staggers up, CIA stands in the wings and ready. The Ottawan gives himself a slight boost off the ropes and charges towards the Torontonian, does a quick 180 spin and strikes Tod HARD in the face with a roaring elbow!**

Stevens: And down goes Tod!!

Riley: This can't be good! (concerned, Flesher starts pacing down the ramp) Great, Tom's gonna do something about this!

**Flesher charges up to the ring apron, trying to derail the resurging CIA by getting his attention. CIA will have none of THAT however, as he cleans Flesher's clock with a BIG right hand!**

Stevens: And down goes Flesher!!

**As Flesher holds his jaw, he walks towards the timekeeper's table, surely with ill intentions in mind. Meanwhile, CIA has Tod Irish whipped to the ropes one more time, catching him with a HUGE sidewalk slam. Feeling that he's got Tod where he wants him, CIA performs a quick hand swipe punctuated by a loud "That's IT!!". He shimmies up the turnbuckles, while Flesher has suddenly grabbed a chair and hopped back onto the apron. Eddy Long is quickly over to shoo him away as fast as he can. However, CIA has them both in his sights, as he gets ready to leap off. Long doesn't even see Flesher dropping the chair into the ring, as CIA leaps off with a crossbody onto the Superior One! Both go tumbling outside as Long goes outside to sort this whole mess.**

Stevens: CIA has just taken Flesher out of action once again! But look in the ring! Tod deKindes has the chair in hand! Where's the referee dammit!!

**Long manages to separate CIA and Flesher and send the Ottawan back in the ring, only he fails to see his impending doom in the ring. Meanwhile, Flesher grabs Long's attention once more by GRABBING HIS ANKLES! Feigning an appendix injury, Long's line of sight is far away from the ring.**

Stevens: Tod's got a damn chair!! TURN AROUND, EDDY!!

**CIA barely has time to turn around to see Tod wielding the steel weapon and connecting with a resounding *CRACK!!* on his masked head! He falls like a ton of bricks, while Tod ditches the evidence by tossing the chair out onto the ramp.**

Stevens: What a SICK, SICK chairshot on CIA!! And the referee hasn't seen a thing!!

Riley: Are you KIDDING ME?! Tod was trying to WARN CIA that there was a sharp and dangerous object in the ring!! CIA just HAD to be clumsy and bump his head into it!!

**Tod falls on top of CIA and hooks the leg for good measure. (He also makes sure to hook the tights when the referee isn't looking)**

Stevens: Referee's back in! GodDAMMIT!!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!

**Bell rings. Tod's theme song doesn't even have time to play, as Flesher has already sprinted into the ring to lay the boots onto the masked man.**

Stevens: Come on, this is over!! Tod's got his damn win already!!

**While Tod contents himself with watching, Flesher drags CIA up and grabs him in a gutwrench position, only to DRIVE him down with his Ego Buster! As if THAT wasn't enough, he decides to pick him up …and deliver ANOTHER!!**

Stevens: C'mon, that's TWO Ego Busters on CIA! Get these two out of the ring!!

Riley: Now THAT's what I call making a statement M7 style!!

Stevens: Hold on, are you saying Tod could be the next to join the Magnificent Seven?!

**Tom and Tod both provide an answer to that, as their hands reach toward one another for a handshake …but quickly pull back with a nonchalant "Nah.", as Tod slithers out of the ring. As 'Cold' finally plays in victory, Flesher remains in the ring and admires his job well done. Tod uneventfully retreats to the back …**

Riley: It's yet ANOTHER win for Tod deKindes, but more importantly, Tom Flesher has done what he's set out to do and that is take CIA OUT of the game!

Stevens: These two will live to fight another day in tag team competition. But for now, like you said, it's a win for Tod deKindes. But what's gonna happen when Tom Flesher goes up against Mak Francis later tonight?! Stay with us!!

January 18, 2003

Smarkdown returns to the air, and it heads straight backstage to the Carnival locker room where ELM sits on the couch lacing up his boots. The crowd cheers from the sight of the SWF World Champion, but a knock at the door interrupts the adolations.

(ELM) – Come in.

In walks the largest man in the fed, HVT, which also draws big cheers from the crowd.

(HVT) – Yo…what up cuz?

(ELM) – Nada senor…just getting dressed.

(HVT) – Looks like it’s you and me tonight yo…just like old times.

(ELM) – Si ese. Just like old times…should be fun.

(HVT) – You know I ain’t goin’ easy on you, right?

(ELM) – I wouldn’t expect anything less from you big man…but I know we’re gonna put on one hell of a show.

(HVT) – Oh yeah…mos def. It’s gonna be hot. But yo…I know we gonna be doin’ da damn thing out there and shit, but you should know that if dat bitch Tom Flesher rolls out there, I got yo back, ya heard.

(ELM) – Gracias senor…me gusta. And, if Bo comes out, I got you covered too holmes.

(HVT) –Yeah, no doubt playa. It’s gonna be fun yo…we gonna do it up big.

(ELM) – Oh yeah…definitely.

(HVT) – Aight yo, I gotta bounce. I gotta do this photo shoot before we gotta go on.

(ELM) – Oh yeah?

(HVT) – Hey, a nigga’s gotta get pizzaid, right?

(ELM) – True, true…alright, I’ll see you out there then.

(HVT) – True dat…holla.

With that, HVT exits the same way he came, and Smarkdown goes to commercial.

January 18, 2003

For the people watching at home…what they see is the screaming crowd as they wait for the next match or segment. The camera tries to catch every single kid with a sign up or wearing a mask, or have his or her face painted. The cameras goes up and down the isle before changing scene and having the face of Mark Stevens and Bobby Riley on the screens of every television in the united states on channel 54 SWN. (Smarks World Network).

“It’s been Months since he’s been in the ring” Mark starts off coming back from commercial break. “But now he’s back and ready for action.”

“Dude, you have to show it.”

“Show what?”

“The Clip, we’ve been showing it a lot now, but it doesn’t matter, I know that I’m never going to get tired of it.”

“Everyone knows what happen.”

Riley is getting a bit agitated now as his voice grows with anger “But I want to see it again…so show it.”

Mark, with a surprise look responded: “Fine.” Mark looks at the camera and said: “Role the clip.”

===============SWF Lockdown! January 13th, 2003 ============

(HVT) – Yo, for real…that’s the last time you’re gonna see that…cause, it’s time for me to end this! That son of a bitch broke my neck and almost ended my career, and now, I’m gonna do that and more to him! Now, I know he ain’t here…but for real, if he was…I’d be straight blastin’ him right now. But I know…I know for a fact that Perfect Bo is watchin’ yo…I know he’s watchin’…he’s been watchin’ every since I came back. Don’t front son…I know you…and I know you itchin’ to get back and finish the job. I got news for you playa…I’m waitin’ I been waitin’ for 8 months! I know y’all is sayin’ that Bo’s gone and he ain’t been here in months…but I know dat nigga, and he’ll come back. He’ll be back…I promise that shit. Maybe not on Smarkdown or Storm or whatever…but he’ll be back and when he does…I’m gonna…

“WRECK”

“HIS”

“SHIT!”

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be.”

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be.”

Thugg’s theme music returns to the speakers as the Angry Black Man throws the mic down and stomps away.

(Stevens) – What a statement by Thugg! Good God…he’s going to have his vengeance, and if I were Perfect Bo, I most certainly would stay far, far away from the SWF.

(Riley) – That’s one man’s opinion…but I am convinced that Thugg can’t touch Bo, and if Bo comes back, he’s going to finish what he started 9 months ago.

(Stevens) – Thugg is a hurting man…and he wants to eliminate the haunting memory of his broken neck from his memory! Well, if Bo shows up in the near future, we will find out who the better man is.

Thugg storms up the ramp with a rage in his step as Lockdown heads to commercial.

================ Back to Present ============

“Mistake number one” Riley said raising his index finger in the air.

“By who?”

“Thugg…who in the hell does he think he is calling out the man that almost ended his career, he’s not superman, we all found that out when he got taken out by Bo.”

“And his goons.”

“No, it was Bo and the chair…that’s all it was.” Riley looks at Mark and smiles, after that he told mark to… “Show the next clip.”

=================Another scene from SWF Lockdown! January 13, 2003 =============

(HVT) – I’m gonna call you back.

**Click**

HVT flips his phone closed and stares out in front of him. The camera turns 180 degrees to find…

…Perfect Bo.

(Stevens) – BO! BO!! It’s Perfect Bo! Oh my god…all hell’s gonna break loose backstage with these two most hated of enemies.

HVT stares at Bo, who stands about 100 feet away down the hall, and after several very tense moments, both men start to walk slowly towards one another.

(HVT) – I been waitin’ for you…

(Bo) – Wait’s over…Bring it!

And with that, all hell does, in fact, break loose as the two large men meet face to face…or rather, faces to fists. HVT throws the first punch, as the crowd at ringside explodes, which connects hard against the side of Bo’s head. In retaliation, Bo throws a punch of his own that lands square into Thugg’s chin.

Punch by Thugg!

Punch by Bo!

Punch by Thugg!

Punch by Bo!

Punch by Thugg!

(Riley) – Lord have mercy!

(Stevens) – Holy cow! We need some security of something backstage…these two are going to kill each other!

Thugg gets the upper hand, staggering his mortal enemy several steps towards an opening at the end of the hall. Thugg grabs Bo by the head, and throws him face first into the wall alongside the hallway. The blow sends Bo down to one knee, but when Thugg goes to grab him, Bo drives an elbow into Thugg’s gut, and then scores with a huge uppercut that drives the big man way back to the opposite wall. Bo jumps to his feet, grabs Thugg by the head, and slams him face first into the same wall.

(Bo) – Where you at yo!! Fight like a man you pussy!

Bo turns Thugg around in order to get a good look at the man whose career he nearly ended, and Thugg is actually smiling. This change in Thugg’s demeanor causes a slight hesitation in Bo, which allows Thugg to score with a crushing right hand to Bo’s temple. The blow drives Bo back to the opposite wall again, and HVT rushes up to him and drives a hard thigh into his abdomen, taking the wind out of the Perfect One. He then grabs Bo by the head and starts to drag him to the opening that connects two hallways. Once there, HVT throws Bo into a steel shelf resting against the wall. Bo hits the shelf with a crash, and bounces off holding his back. HVT grabs him by the head again, and then launches him through a door across the hall, knocking the door completely off its hinges. Inside the room, wrestlers scatter as Bo slides across the floor!

(Stevens) – Now they’re in the locker room!

HVT stalks Bo, who tries to scramble to his feet. Bo makes it upright as Thugg reaches him, and Bo throws a punch that lands against Thugg’s face. With Thugg stunned temporarily, Bo lands several more punches as the unrecognizable wrestlers dive across the room to get a good look at the action by stay out of the way. With HVT reeling, Bo charges Thugg, tackling him against the wall, but Thugg starts to slam down on Bo with heavy forearms. Bo drops down to one knee, but continues to push Thugg against the wall and drive punch after punch to the big man’s kidneys. After several slow moments of this, both men slide down the wall to the ground, where they start to wrestle for position and throw an occasional punch or two.

(Stevens) – Good God…the hate between these two runs so deep! If Bo’s back, we can expect this thing to explode to levels never seen before here in the SWF.

With Thugg and Bo wrestling on the ground, about 10 large security guards rush into the room and grab at the two superstars, pulling them apart. Both men keep swinging in an attempt to land one final punch, but to no avail as the guards pry them away from one another.

(HVT) – You’re fuckin’ dead yo! DEAD!!

(Bo) – Bring it! I’m right here! And I ain’t goin’ anywhere!

One set of guards drags Thugg from the room, leaving everyone buzzing from the encounter.

(Riley) – Yeah…ok, we can’t have that kind of stuff here.

(Stevens) – Man, these two are going to tear each other apart before this is all said and done. Bo is back, and he wants to finish Thugg once and for all, but Thugg is looking for revenge for the months and months he had to spend in the hospital because of a broken neck at the hands of Perfect Bo! We’ll keep you updated on this volatile situation…and we’ll be back with more SWF action!

An image of Bo shrugging off the guards and standing fuming is shown as Lockdown fades to commercial.

=============== Back to present time ===========

“Is it wrong to feel overwhelmed to see those two…big…strong…black man punching it out, the sweat, the blood, the rage” Riley shakes his head before continuing... “God that’s good action.”

“Dude…you got issues.”

“What? Riley asks. “Oh, did I mention that was mistake number two?”

“Why was that a mistake? I would of done the same thing.” Mark answered defending Thugg’s action.

Riley chuckles at Mark’s ignorance before saying: “Because Thugg attacked him with anger therefore Thugg isn’t in the right state of mind, hence letting Bo use his intelligence to dominate the lower common denominator.”

“Have you failed to realize that Bo isn’t that smart…he probably don’t understand that fraction thing you just did?”

“He knows what he’s doing…” Riley smiles “If you role this clip you will see mistake number three and see how Bo used his intelligence to crumble the giant down. Role the clip.

=========== SWF Lockdown! January 13, 2003 (Main Event) =========

HVT and ELM then look at each other once more, giving a nod of approval. Then, in the uproar of the crowd and flashbulbs going off everywhere, ELM stands back to back with Flesher while HVT slaps on a one-handed choke!

Stevens: YES! YES! YES!

Riley: THIS IS RIDICULOUS!! CONTROL! WE NEED SOME CONTROL!

The stage is set for double finishers and the fans are tearing the roof off the arena…

WHACK!!

Stevens: NO!! NO!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!! IT’S PERFECT BO!!

Riley: YES!! JUSTICE!!

The sound of metal on bone has a ringing effect that is left marinating in the ears of everyone present, as Bo just nailed HVT square in the head with that steel chair! ELM stops in the middle of his run to the turnbuckle and heads straight at Bo to stop him…

WHACK!

Stevens: NO!! AND NOW MAGNIFICO!! THIS ISN’T RIGHT…THIS JUST ISN’T RIGHT!

Bo stands in the ring with the chair still in his hand, staring at the laid out Thugg and ELM. Tom and Frost bail out of the ring, followed closely by Bo just as both the referee and Francis are climbing in.

Stevens: OH COME ON!! PERFECT BO AND HIS STEEL CHAIR…

Riley: Too bad there’s no instant replay in wrestling…hahahahaha!

Mak seems confused as to who is the legal man, so in a ditch effort to win the match, Francis places one arm on both men…

Stevens: This is absurd!! No way! Uh uh! This isn’t happening!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Riley: YES!!

DING DING DING

Funyon: Your winners…C-I-A AND MAK FRAAAAANNNNCCCCIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS!!

“Down With The Sickness” hits the speakers and the fans scream for the blood the three men who caused this injustice. Tom and Frost backpedal up the ramp with their hands raised in victory, but Bo however, slides back into the ring just as Mak slides out.

Stevens: SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE AROUND HERE?!? THIS CANNOT STAND! CIA AND FRANCIS HAVE THE TAG TITLE SHOTS, BUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN ON SMARKDOWN?!? WILL MAGINIFICO SEEK REVENGE ON M7?? WILL THUGG GET HIS VENGEANCE AGAINST PERFECT BO?!? OH MY GOD…SO MUCH TO TAKE IN! WE’LL SEE YOU ALL ON SMARKDOWN!

A final image of Bo standing tall over Thugg and Magnifico is left to marinate in the viewers’ minds as Lockdown fades off the air.

================= Back to the present ===============

:Sniffs:

“Are you crying?” Mark asks as he watches a tear drop from Riley’s eyes.”

“It’s just…it was a touching moment…it sooths my emotions that this federation was corrupt by these evil doers or Thugg and ELM, now we finally have a man that will detach these evil geniuses from being friends and dissemble them one by one in a cold rule of brutality and violence…I love Bo.”

“Yup, I was right…you have issues. Well, Bo will have to face Stryke before getting his hands on Thugg and Stryke is no slouch, he defeated the returning X in a great match, can lightning strikes twice?”

“No!”

“It was a rhetorical question that wasn’t meant to be answered.”

“Do you see me caring?” Riley said as he puts a face on…he then said: “Look at my face of caring…no look” puts a stupid face on. “No, but really look, you see…” Puts face again. “Do you see? See, I don’t care.”

Mark looked at Riley for about two seconds and had to contain himself from laughing…after that he looked at the camera and changed the subject by saying…“Well, lets get ready for the match.”

The fans raise up to their feet in cheers as the Jay Gordon remix of Linkin Park’s ”Points of Authority” kicks up, and after a few moments Stryke slowly walks out of the entranceway, orange and white pyro spraying up from each side of the stage.

“Whoa, right on cue.” Mark said

Stryke briefly stops to soak up the cheers of the crowd, before making his way down the ramp as Funyon delivers his spiel.

“The following bout is schedule for one fall and has a 15 minute time limit. Coming in first, hailing from Sydney, Australia and weighing in at 218 pounds… SSSTTTRRRYYYKKKEEE!!!”

As Funyon finishes his intro Stryke quickly slides into the ring, getting to his feet and preparing for the match at hand.

“Well, after a well hard fought bout against X, Stryke really have a test to go through…because Bo is strictly a powerhouse hardcore type of guy and is not a agile person as X so, this is a different type of task for Stryke.” Mark said

“For this reason…he loses”

The lights dim into a dark blue type color with a fire type reddish color hovering over the darkness. The Tron awakens with the words. "Wait is over" as it quickly juggles with scenes of Bo's greatest moments and victories. As a loud voice echoes around the arena stating "Damn Homie, in High school you was man Homie...what the fuck happen you."

“And his opponent, hailing from the Bronx in New York City…weighing in at 285 pounds…PPPEEERRRFFFEEECCCTTTT BBBOOO!!!”

“Damn, this guy changes entrance more than JD changes boyfriends.” Riley said, trying desperately to make a joke, but it just came out corny.

The song "Wanksta" by 50 cent starts to as Bo slowly comes out from behind the curtains into a chorus of boos. Bo has his head down but he slowly raises it up to see the crowd as they boo him with no remorse. Bo looks around with a sly smirk on his lips as he cracks his neck. He slowly descends himself down the ramp and stops right in the middle of the ramp. He looks to his left and to his right, he then raises both his hands exposing his middle and index fingers crossed together as his pinky and thumb sticks out leaving the ring finger curled up in his palms. As both arms reaches it peaks, two red pyros blast from the ground into the air as the Tron changes images as two words are implanted on the screen that says "THUG LIFE".

Bo looks up at Stryke and runs towards the ring, sliding in and jumping up to his feet…he looks around the arena and sees all of the angry faces, but he just smiles as he turns towards Stryke who is leaning against the turnbuckle ready for the bell to ring.

“Ding, Ding, Ding.”

Bo and Stryke begin to circle the ring for a few seconds before getting closer to each other for a lock up…they’re about to lock up when Bo kicks Stryke in the gut and follows through with a right hand taking Stryke down to one knee.

“The Toe kick…the best defensive and offensive attack move in the wrestling world of entertainment today. This attack can utilize a person from doing any harm to someone for a moment.”

“Great insight Riley.”

Bo sees Stryke on the mat and that’s when he quickly applies a side headlock, wrenching on the head with force as Stryke get to his feet. Stryke manages to pull Bo towards the ropes; Stryke’s back touches the ropes while at the same time putting his hand on Bo’s lower back. With the assist of the ropes, Stryke pushes Bo off from the headlock causing the perfect one to make his way across the ring bouncing off the ropes. Stryke takes a few steps forwards to see if he can go body to body with Bo, but when Bo reaches Stryke, the hardcore God knocks him right on his back. Bo looks down at him for a second before running towards the ropes again. Stryke looks towards his side and sees Bo bouncing back from the ropes…Stryke rolls over so that he’s facing down on the mat causing Bo to hop over him. Stryke quickly gets to his feet as Bo rebounds back from the ropes. Stryke position himself to deliver Bo a hiptoss but Bo blocks it…and with his arm still hooked with Stryke’s arm, he goes for a short-arm clothesline but Stryke ducks it, releasing his arm with Bo’s, he quickly gets behind Bo and shoves him towards the ropes…Bo bounces back, his face met with Stryke’s feet as Stryke elevated himself up in the air and drops Bo with a standing dropkick. Bo crawls away into the corner…he doesn’t take his eyes off of Stryke as he reaches up, grabs the ropes and pulls himself up.

“You see, this is a typical tactic for a person who has more speed than the other…use his speed to get your opponent off balance, because if the stronger man catches you, which most likely is going to happen, it’s going to be over.”

“Riley, you insight about this match, which by the way is too early to tell, is inaccurate. A person with Bo’s caliber is too dumb to even recognize that he’s being out hustle and outworked. That was always his problem.”

Bo gets up and nods his head…Stryke walks back while shaking his arms. They get closer to each other for another lockup when Bo stops anything with a lead right hand knocking, once again, Stryke to the mat. Bo takes a step back, steps forward and completely knocks Stryke to the ground with a boot to the face. Bo starts to stomp away on Stryke’s back, after about a few more kicks Bo lifts Stryke to his feet, he applies a front face lock…squeezes it for a second before grabbing Stryke’s pants lifting him up vertically and dropping him down right on his back completing a picture ‘PERFECT’ suplex…he floats over for the pin.

“First pin attempt by Bo.” Riley said

‘One’

‘Tw—’ Easy kick out by Stryke.

“I have no idea why Bo even try to make a cover, he’s not that dumb to think he was going to get the win that easily?” Mark said

“No my stupid ex-champion…a pin attempt early in the match is justifiable for the fact of tiring the opponent each time they kick out…” Riley looks at Mark with a look of stupidity and then continues by saying: “It’s part of the book.”

“What book?”

“Knowing wrestling for dummies…duh.”

Bo grabs Stryke by the head, forcing him to get to his feat before whipping him towards the ropes…Stryke bounces off seeing Bo with his head down attempting a back body drop. Stryke reaches to him and straightens him up with a kick to the chest…Bo grabs his chest for a second and quickly tries to get the advantage again with a attempted clothesline that was ducked. Bo turns around and gets rocked with a right hand, another right hand causes him to stumbles back and the third one drops him…Bo gets up quickly only to get floored again with a right hand. Bo gets up and Stryke quickly grabs his arm to whip him towards the ropes. Bo rebounds back and sees Stryke attempting a clothesline, Bo ducks it, runs towards the other ropes and bounces off only to get kicked in the face with another dropkick. Bo drops faster then a fat man sitting on top of a three-legged chair. Bo looks up at Stryke and rolls towards the outside and started walking. Stryke looks at him, mocks him to get back in the ring as the referee starts to count Bo out.

“This is what I called a rethink and retrace…for instance, you are suppose to do something that the opponent was not suppose to know, some how he figures it out and counters and your plan goes out the window…it’s difficult to think of something off the back, therefore you leave the ring and rethink what to do and retrace what went wrong…another easy thing that’s in the big wrestling book.”

“You need to lend me that book…because half of the things you say is crap. What Bo is doing I call running away like a…well, I’m a family man so I wont stoop to that level.” Mark stated.

Bo cuts the corner as he rubs his chin…he’s not paying attention to the people in the ring nor the count as the referee reaches to three. Stryke looks behind him to see where the ropes are at, he skips back, bounces off the ropes, runs forward, Bo all of a sudden looks up and sees Stryke leaving the mat and going through the ropes almost spearing Bo who’s on the outside. The suicide dive connects as both wrestlers are shaken up, Bo more than Stryke. Stryke gets up and at the same time helping Bo up, he slides Bo in the ring and he follows. Bo gets up before Stryke does and connects him with a right hand before Stryke gets to his feet.

“That’s a Chinese maneuver if you didn’t know…in a matter of fact, I study the language as well and I know the move that Bo just did…it’s called the [clears throat] fclsdfosidhfoaiujhdow sihcfeer djcnksehbkhsgkf shsos sheeze mineeze…”

Bo quickly grabs Stryke by his head and Snapmares’ him over leaving Stryke sitting up on the mat…Bo follows up with a swift kick right to the back of the neck of Stryke.

“Lookissejnuy hes jsheheeeyszew sjkdsdffehwweasaaaitynamkoleik djhyenabbmdhyenna hjsuuemmdnhah yo.”

“And what in the blue hell does that mean?” Mark asked.

Riley turns to face him and answered: “Right Hook.”

Bo gets up and helps Stryke up to his feet as well; he bends him down and between his knees into a standing head scissor…he wraps his arm around Stryke’s waist, lifts him up and slams him down with a vicious powerbomb. The impact causes Bo to step back but he quickly gets down to pin Stryke, he hooks the far leg as the referee goes towards Stryke’s shoulders to get a good look.

‘One’

‘Two’

‘T’

Kick out by Stryke and the crowd erupts in cheers.

“Stryke better do something quickly, because things doesn’t look good for him.”

“Stryke just have to take the loss like a man before Bo uses any more violent behavior and paralyze Stryke…Stryke will be just like Thugg if he continues to fight back.”

Bo looks at the referee for a second in disgust before getting to his feet. He grabs the head of Stryke and starts to smack him in the face…toying with him. Stryke gets mad and shoves Bo away as he commence to swing away with right hands that some how connects. One shot, two shot, three shot…but that ended when Bo lift his knee right on Stryke’s gut. Another smack to the face to embarrass him and then he grabs his arm and whips him towards the ropes. Stryke reverses it and watches Bo bouncing off the ropes, Bo comes back as Stryke jumps up in the air…he manages to wrap his legs around Bo neck and starts to pulls back to hit a quick Hurricanrana…Bo blocks it and grabs one of Stryke’s leg. He starts to walk ahead while still holding the leg in order to have Stryke’s head between his legs, once that happened, Bo begins to crouch down putting his knee on top of Stryke’s lower back.

“I think he’s going to go for it.” Riley exclaimed.

Bo shifts his leg out in order to sit on top of Stryke’s back. With his other hand he reaches back for the head of his opponent…he looks for it…and finally grabs it completing the lock of the ‘perfect crank’. The referee goes towards Stryke’s face asking him if he wants to give up and that’s when the crowd jumps up with cheers as they see a massive roaming through the crowd and steeping over the barricade with a steal chair. He goes towards the side where he can see Bo face to face…he drops the chair on the floor and sees Bo with his eyes closed. Bo opened his eyes and see Thugg staring at him, Bo doesn’t know what to do as he releases the hold, Thugg climbs up to the apron as Bo stands up…Bo goes to him and swings a right hand as the referee is busy with Stryke to see if he wants to continue. Thugg blocks the right hand, grabs Bo by his neck and drops down from the apron causing Bo’s neck to get clothesline by the top of the rope. Stryke looks back and sees Bo stumbling back while holding his neck, Stryke crawls towards him, grabs his leg and the rolls him up for a schoolboy pin.

“HE GOT IT.”

“NOOOOOOOOO, THAT’S NOT FAIR…CHEATER, FOUL!”

‘ONE’

‘TWO’

‘T’

‘H’

‘R’

‘E’

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO…Bo rolls to the side to break the count.

Bo gets up at about the same time as Stryke…Bo goes for a clothesline but Stryke ducks it which causes Bo to go towards the same ropes that Thugg is at…he turns around so he can bounces off when…

‘WHACK’

A chair shot right across the back causes Bo to tippy toe forward in pain…the referee didn’t see that since Stryke got in his way, Stryke pushes him off after he heard the sound and sees Bo walking like if he got something stuck up his…Stryke takes a step back, hops forward and ‘WHAM’…Bo got knocked down and out with the ‘Heatseeker’.

“That’s not right…you and I know that for a fact that that is not right. Bo isn’t going to take this laying down.” Riley said, highly upset at the outcome.

“Well, he’s taking it laying down right now.”

Stryke looks down at him and shook his head ‘no’ stating that it’s not over…he goes to the nearest turnbuckle, hops up and looks at the crowd…they are all standing up to see Stryke fly. Stryke looks down at Bo and then takes off…

‘WHAM’

‘ALL TIME HIGH’ is hit as the impact causes Stryke to hold his stomach…the pain was a minimum as Stryke quickly goes towards Bo, pins him hooking the far leg. The referee goes towards Bo’s shoulders and starts to pound the mat.

‘One’

‘Two’

‘T’

‘H’

‘R’

‘E’

‘Ding, Ding, Ding…’

“And the winner of this match via pinfall…………………………SSSTTTRRRYYYKKKEEE!!!”

The crowd erupts as they hear Stryke being announced as the winner…the victor exits the ring as the monster enters…steel chair clutched tightly on his hand. He looks down at the fallen proclaimed Hardcore God…he places the chair next to Bo and whispered:

(This is for the lip readers)

“Don’t forget to ride or die bitch.”

With that he exits the ring…

"They don't know..."

"Who we be."

"They don't know..."

"Who we be."

“What they don’t know is…” is played as Thugg goes up the ramp. The camera switches towards the announce table where Riley who has a disgusted face and Mark who is pleased, sit.

“Well, what else can I say…it is this crap that make little kids that has dreams about becoming a legit superstar, stoop to the level of cheating…in high school cheating…even in elementary school cheating, and since it was Thugg we have to justify it. Typical.”

“What about Bo?”

“What about Bo?!? Bo did nothing wrong in that match, he fought, he was winning, he got cheated…simple as sex.”

“No, what about the tag match that Thugg had…I mean, Bo interfered and caused Thugg and ELM the match…what justice is that?”

“It’s simple…Bo caught Thugg doing something wrong, hence he as a good individual did not tolerate that, therefore he went down and made things even…that’s’ all.”

“You know you’re full of it.”

“What ever.”

“Alright Riley…it’s time that we go on commercial break so we can get ready for the next match.”

“Who’s fighting?”

“It’s a triple threat hardcore gamers title. Annie vs. Michael Craven vs. the champion…Judge Mental.”

“Hardcore??? If you can even call that a technique…well, lets go to commercial break.”

“Stay tune.”

January 18, 2003

As we return form commercial, we see the announcer’s table and a shot of both Grand Slam and Bobby Riley, Grand Slam the only one smiling.

“Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown.” Grand Slam begins. “Recently, SWF Superstar Michael Craven sat down for an interview with our #1 interviewer, Ben Hardy. The result is what comes to you next!”

“It sucks,” Bobby Riley whines, “don’t watch. Change the channel now.”

“Oh hush.” Stevens answers back.

Cut to a pre-taped interview with “Cochise” playing in the background softly as we are shown a small video package for about 20 seconds featuring Michael Craven. Then, we cut to an interview room, where Ben Hardy sits, smiling happily as he twiddles his thumbs patiently.

“Hello, I’m Ben Hardy, sitting down here with SWF Superstar and Legend Michael Craven to discuss the past, the present, and the future of himself, his family, his career, and his viewpoints on the SWF.”

Cut over to a shot of Craven, relaxing in a plush chair as he places his Pepsi Twist down and smiles. The crowd pops as they see Craven’s face.

“It’s great to be here, Ben.” A trademark Craven smile creates another, smaller pop from the crowd.

“Great. Let’s start.” Hardy clears First question: Who in the SWF have been the biggest influences on your career, and why?

As Craven begins to speak, we see clips of the first wrestler Craven speaks of, nailing people, getitng cheers and boos at different times in his career, and fighting with superkicks galore, just like HBK. Wonder who that could be.

“Suicide King... he was a big influence on me back in the ML during his days as King of Hearts. And after he went evil, I still couldn’t help but mark out for the guy every time he came down to the ring. He’s got the best theme. Anyone with a Black Sabbath or Ozzy theme is already cool. “Crazy Train” is just an awesome song. I wish I could use if for my theme.”

And then, as clips from the next wrestler appear, the crowd goes TOTALLY insane. There he is, fighting evil in the SWF, interacting with the crowd, pranking people...

“Then you got Eddie Mac... God bless his soul, where ever he is now. It’s pretty obvious I’ve been trying to emulate FOREVER, but to tell you the truth, I wish I were half the man that Edwin MacPhisto was in the ring. The fans loved him, and he was their god, as well as mine until he retired. I miss him a lot, and I wish he’d come back. We need a crazy Brit in the fed.”

“Agreed.” Hardy replies strongly. “Anyone else?”

“Ah, can’t forget Thugg!!!” Clips from various Thugg matches, showing him beating the shit out of people and being tough as the crowd pops. “Can you even not think of enough stuff to say about this guy? He’s big, he’s powerful... he’s the template for all wrestlers over 6’6” that hail from the ghettos. Or in any case, he’s a guy that all fan faves and rulebreakers should at least watch before they step into the SWF’s squared circle. It’s part of history. He’s done so much for the fed and for the wrestlers backstage as a locker room leader. He’s like a god among men. Hell, I even have a Thugg figure on my dresser at home, alongside Edwin and King, and all three of them are on posters hanging in my room, with me being the fourth one, of course!”

Cut to clips of another certain wrestler, a certain wrestler Craven beat a while back in a little remembered tournament...

“Next up is Raynor. God, that guy was awesome. I still don’t believe I beat him!!!! But the poor guy’s got a neck injury. His whole Operation POOFNAR thing was classic fun with the Carnies. I wish he’d come back. We could use guys like him.”

Cut to a few shots of other guys as Craven begins to wrap it up.

“There’s a couple of others too:” Crven begins to rattle off a list as he thinks to himself. “Longdogger Pete, Low Brass...” Brief pause here as Craven reflects back on his friend, “...The Boston Strangler, who by the way is a great locker room guy and is no longer having a steroid abuse problem from the last I heard. Keep it up, Strangler!!! You can kick it’s ass!!! Now... where was I?”

“You were talking about some of your influences, Mr. Craven.” Ben Hardy informs the former Hardcore Champion.

“Oh yeah... let’s see... Grand Slam, Annie Eclectic, Xero, Insane Luchador, Vlad de Burrov, Tom Flesher... ya know, there’s really just a lot of people to name here.” Craven smiles, which gets a crowd pop as the camera transitions back to Hardy.

“Understandable.” Hardy nods and heads right into his next question. “Now, who’s the hardest opponent you’ve ever faced off against?”

“Hardest opponent to face?” Craven ponders the question for a second before “Definite three-way tie. Annie Eclectic, because she was my first student and she knows all my tricks... or so she thinks..." Craven gives a quick wink here to a minor crowd pop. "Jay Dawg, just because he’s tough as nails and it takes like 10 chair shots to put the fucker down, and The Boston Strangler for sure. I could go on forever on this guy... he’s like a fuckin’ brick wall!!! Fighting against him is like trying to live of tofuburgers or breathe in a full tank of carbon monoxide: you just can’t do it.”

“Best match ever...” Hardy intervenes, “what is it?”

“Stash the Ash. That match was expected to just flop and be a failure, namely because of the stipulations. But Frost and I took the basic idea of the match and turned it into one of, if not the greatest, Hardcore Title matches in SWF history. The whole match had that magic, over-the-top feel to it, and it worked perfectly. Besides, I won, didn’t I?”

“Yes you did, Mr. Craven.” Craven nods as Hardy continues on. “Next question: . How did you happen to meet up with her?”

“So, the question is how long have I known Amy, right?” Craven queries.

“Uh-huh.”

“Easy. I met her in college, lost touch after I graduated, got back in touch, BOOM. There ya go.” Craven’s simple answer is sufficient as Hardy presses on with the next question.

“All right, here’s a toughy: out of all the entrances and finishers you’ve used, which are your favorites?”

“My current ones!” Craven answers boastfully. “I love the fire thing. It’s all “WHOOSH!!!” and it looks spectacular. Booker T would be proud. And the Shooting Star Knee Drop not only looks pretty, people actually write me to get pictures of me that SWF photographers took of me hitting the move at ringside!!! The fans love that move because they’ve never really seen it before. As much to my knowledge, I don’t know anyone who does that or had done if before, but I know there’s a guy in NWA-TNA who does a wicked Shooting Star Leg Drop, but I forget his name. Maybe the two of us can meet up and exchange notes sometime!”

The crowd pops for Craven’s commment if anything as Hardy sends another one Craven’s way.

“By the way, there have been reports you are working on something new that you’ll be debuting at the Clusterfuck. Is this true?”

Craven chuckles as Hardy begins to look confused. Craven then breaks his laughter after several seconds and responds to the question.

“You’ll see, Ben... you’ll see if I am or not. The ‘Fuck is all about surprises, and let’s just say according to a few things I’ve heard... there’s bound to be a few mind-blowing surprises at the ‘Fuck. And if I’ve got something up my sleeve... you’ll have to wait and see... as will the rest of the world...”

Cut back to the arena, where Michael Craven walks down a hall , warming up for his SWF match. Then, we see a quick shot of Judge with his title, and the crowd boos like hell. We then hear Stevens and Riley at the announce table as Stevens comments on the interview:

“And that concludes Part 1 of the interview... but next, Craven battles Annie Eclectic and Judge Mental for the SWF Hardcore Title in a triple-threat match! It’s bound to be a great one, so stay tuned!!!”

"Or not..." Riley snidely comments.

Fade out to commercial for 1-800-COLLECT, starring Thugg, Bo, and Xstasy. Thugg sez use 1-800-COLLECT... OR HE’LL WRECK YO SHIT!!!!

January 18, 2003

A huge crowd appears on screen, screaming their hearts out. Many hold up signs but none are all that witty this week so we don't dwell on it and move on, cutting over to the announcer's table where the Heavy Hitter, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens sits with his color commentator Bobby Riley beside him.

Mark: Welcome back to more bone crunching action from the SWF's finest here on SmarkDown! Mark Stevens again with Bobby Riley set to give you the best play-by-play and color commentary possible for what is sure to be a top notch match.

Riley: I'll actually agree with you here Mark, but possibly not for the same reason. Finally, someone of value, someone worthy, someone with the credentials and talent to clean up this god-forsaken division known as "Hardcore" and show the world what a pure wrestler can do. That's right, Judge Mental proved how a submissions grappler can not only go toe-to-toe with the best of the garbage wrestlers, but beat them at their own game and take the HCG title home to the Magnificent Seven!

Mark: I don't know about the 'at their own game' part, Bobby. It was an Ultimate Submissions match, a match Judge Mental had a large advantage over Michael Craven with.

Riley: The stipulation isn't that important Mark, and Judge Mental will prove it again as he takes on not just one garbage specialist, but two! Craven comes back to get another dose of Capital Punishment along with former-running-buddy-of-everyone and Magnificent Seven castaway, Annie Eclectic.

Mark: The "Hardcore Queen" hasn't taken too kindly to Judge Mental's promise to take her out via submission, and the gall of him to say he'll force Annie Eclectic to retire by permanently injuring her spine... that's just a disgusting thought all by itself.

Riley: I can only hope he backs that up. Like Eclectic is an innocent humble angel herself. Just because she got a fluke win on a great, wonderous man like Sacred something like half a year ago does not mean she has the talent or skill to beat a man of such high regard as Judge Mental.

Mark: Well, Funyon is ready to make the introductions, so we're going to force Bobby to quit his verbal fellation of the Magnificent Seven so we can start this Triple Threat match for the HCG Title!

Cut to a view of ringside where the tuxedo-clad Funyon awaits to make his usual perfect introductions.

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match, set for one fall, is a triple threat match for the Hardcore Gamer's Championship!

An odd but familiar guitar feedback begins to play, with rythmic drums accompanying it. A smatter of boos and cheers come from the audience as bass guitar follows with a pulsing spray of pyro for each drum beat. Suddenly a large flash occurs in time to the lead guitar chords starting up, and within the flash is a familiar silhouette.....

Funyon: Introducing the first challenger, the former four time HCG Champion... he is a Nightmare, a Freak, a Chimera... weighing in at two hundred sixty pounds, and hailing from Tampa, Florida... he is MICHAEL.... CRAAAAVEEEEEN!!!

Craven walks out from the bright light, hands to his sides, as he jogs to warmup at the top of the ramp. Before he can make his customary run towards the ring, someone nearby in the audience calls out "EDWIN KNOCKOFF!" purposely to rile the former champ. Craven just barely hears it and turns in his direction to yell out at the fan. Suddenly a few more fans catch on and begin to cat-call "KNOCK-OFF! KNOCK-OFF!" Craven takes a deep breath and simply shrugs it off as he runs full speed and dives under the bottom rope into the ring. He raises his hands in certain victory to a crowd giving mixed reaction. He steps down... right when the trumpets sound.

Funyon: And the second challenger, from Indianapolis, Indiana and weighing in at one hundred seventy five pounds... representing the Midnight Carnival... she is the self professed "Hardcore Queen"... ANNIE EEEEEECLECTIIIIC!!!!

The thrash guitar comes in on time with the large blast of red pyro, and through the flame and smoke comes Annie Eclectic running full steam ahead with her bokken in hand. She too slides underneath the bottom rope to enter the ring, climbing up the near turnbuckle to face half of the audience. A large round of cheers come for the Hardcore Queen as she sharply points her right thumb to her chest, showing her confidence in the match. Hopping down she leans outside the ring to place her bokken against the steel steps, then makes a beeline to Craven, and gets right in his face...

Mark: Annie apparently wants to make something perfectly clear to Craven here, they're literally nose to nose...

Bobby: Yes but... aww damn. They broke off and Annie's going to a corner. I thought that maybe those two idiots would weaken each other up for our man of the hour, Judge Mental.

Mark: Isn't your jaw sore at this point, Bobby?

Bobby: What's that supposed to mean?

"I Get Wet" cuts out and is replaced by a screeching guitar and fast drumbeat. A smattering of cheers gets drowned out by the tidal wave of boos as bass and guitar combine with three spectacular pyro flashes and Zach de la Rocha screaming out "NOW TESTIFY!"

Funyon: And now, the Champion.From Royal Oak, Michigan. Weighing in at two hundred forty two pounds and representing the Magnificent Seven... holding court over all in the SWF... he is... JUDGE.... MEEEENTAAAAAL!!!

Judge Mental comes out from behind the curtain with the Hardcore Gamer's Championship slung over his right shoulder. He pats the belt and smiles smugly towards his two opponents inside the ring. Mental takes his time walking towards the ring, making sure to lob a swift comeback to a rowdier member of the audience who tries to get his attention. Reaching the steel ring steps, Judge calmly walks up to the ring apron, steps through the ropes, and hands his title over to the referee, Billy Chioda. Chioda raises the title up and faces each side of the ring, and then passes the title off to the timekeeper. Chioda checks that all three wrestlers are in a corner, no mayhem happening early... and then calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Mark: Here we go! Triple threat for the Hardcore Gamers title, only on SmarkDown!

Annie glances off towards Craven, but then decides to rush forward towards the reigning Champion. Judge senses Annie's rush and charges forward with a lariat but the Hardcore Queen ducks underneath the attack and crouches behind Mental. Judge turns around to see where the next attack comes from but is too late when... WHAM! Michael Craven blindsides Judge Mental with a dropping neckbreaker! Craven pops to his feet and motions Annie over to him. The Nightmare brings Judge back up to his feet and faces him towards Annie, locking Mental's arms behind his back. Annie coils backwards, and then springs forward with a HARD savate kick to the Champion's jaw! Judge Mental drops hard to the mat a second time as Michael and Annie slap hands from the double team.

Bobby: I don't believe this! Who gave these two nimwits the idea of teaming against the champ? Neither of these two are that smart and besides, this isnt' elimination! It's one fall. Eventually one of them has to get a fall to win.

Mark: I don't know what's up here but perhaps this was what that discussion in the ring was earlier. I know if someone was threatening to literally break my back, I'd take precautions, and Craven and Eclectic have worked together before. This wouldn't be a new situation for them.

Craven drags the Champ to the center of the ring, as Annie motions her hand upwards. Michael nods his head in approval and Annie takes the initiative to run towards the ropes. She bounces off, jumps over Mental and heads to the opposite ropes as Michael steps in between Annie and Mental. Eclectic bounces off the ropes again and heads towards Craven who puts his hands out.... hefts Annie up into the air and tosses her behind him! Annie flips over... and lands BACKFIRST ON JUDGE MENTAL!

Mark: WOW! Haven't seen them do that before, Annie gets the assist from Craven to hit a senton splash from WAY up high! This capacity crowd is enjoying every second of what might just be a renewed friendship here!

Bobby: Well, I for one don't trust either of these for one second. Craven is an established lunatic, and Annie has turned on more people than Lex Luger. And I don't mean that in a sexual way.

Mark: First time for everything...

Annie gets back up to her feet rubbing her back where she landed. Craven shows a look of concern and points towards Annie but she makes a hand motion to forget about it. Then she grabs on of Judge's ankles and implies that Craven should take the other. He lifts Mental's other foot up as Annie looks towards the crowd and points between Judge's legs. The crowd goes ballistic as a chant of "GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT!" Annie smiles and sends a boot right into Judge's crotch, followed by one from Craven! The two send another shot to Mental's unprotected groin, then on time, both leap backwards in the air, still holding onto Judge's ankles. Upon landing, both throw their respective foot hard down to the ground, causing Judge to do a very uncomfortable split. Any cloudiness in Judge Mental's brain is instantly removed by intense searing pain. The Champion can only think of one thing to do, grab ahold of his sore genitals and curl up into a tiny ball on the mat. The crowd finds a way to go even more nuts then they were already.

Mark: Talk about taking it hard to your opponent, Judge Mental should have expected this in a hardcore match! Annie and Craven have taken away any chance for the Champion to get momentum on either of them, and now either of these two could run away with the title!

Bobby: But which one? I don't care what you or these other peons think, this honeymoon has to end sometime, there can be only one.

Mark: I knew you loved men in skirts....

Bobby: What? Uh... dammit! Shut up!

Annie proffers her hand towards Michael Craven, who accepts it in both hands as they graciously shake on their early accomplishment. The crowd loves every second of it... until Craven tugs Annie hard towards him and sends a hard boot to her midsection! The Hardcore Queen doubles over in obvious pain as the Nightmare takes his opportunity to lock on a quick front facelock, and then WHAM! Craven spikes Annie Eclectic's cranium hard onto the canvas! The force of the sneak attack forces Annie's body up and over Craven, collapsing into a heap behind him. The crowd quickly turns on the four time Hardcore Champion, and the cat call of "KNOOOOOCK-OOOOOFF! KNOOOOCK-OOOOF!" begins anew.

Bobby: *chuckling* I gotta admit, that was really really good. Did you see the look of shock on the dumb woman's face when Craven hit that kick? PRICELESS, Mark! Priceless!

Mark: The audience isn't pleased and I don't blame them. Craven used the offer of friendship from the Carnie and used it to further his own agenda of recapturing the Hardcore Gamer's Title for a record fifth time!

Craven reaches behind him and hooks a leg, causing Chioda to drop to the canvas to count...

ONE...

TWO...

TH... NO! kickout!

Mark: Kind of close but not really. Annie is as tough as she is pretty...

Bobby: Makes you wonder how she's lasted -this- long...

Mark: Shut it! Annie is tough as nails and even a hard as hell DDT like that wouldn't put her down for a full three this early.

Bobby: But we could hope, Mark. We could hope.

Craven raises Annie back up to her feet, and then locks up with her. Still groggy from the DDT, Annie makes little ground in blocking the suplex attempt from Craven. Micheal lifts the Hardcore Queen up high... but then takes a step forward and plants her on the top rope of the turnbuckle. Craven climbs up to the second rope himself, and then re-locks in for another suplex attempt. More jeers come from the crowd as Craven brings Annie vertical once again.... and then THROWS HER FORWARD ONTO THE CONCRETE! Annie falls face first and lands hard with a thud on the cold ground outside the ring.

Mark: MY GOD! Michael Craven may have just done what Judge Mental meant to do! Annie's still dealing with rib and back injuries and.... dear lord that must have been fifteen feet she just dropped onto hard concrete! And don't say she knows how to fall folks, that's just horrendous!

Bobby: Wow, that was impressive and I must applaud Craven here at least for being smart and ruthless. However, he should be watching his back because a smart wrestler's about to make his presence known...

Mark: Oh my, you're right Bobby....

Michael Craven raises his hands in mock victory again, but is completely unaware of the presence underneath him.. as Judge Mental comes up from beneath him and plucks him off the corner! With Craven on his shoulders facing behind him, Judge Mental hops up to gain an extra two inches of height and then SLAMS the Chimera hard to the mat with a rough as hell powerbomb! Mental hooks a leg for a pin as Chioda drops for the count...

ONE...

TWO...

.... and Mental raises Craven's head before Chioda could even attempt to count Three. The crowd comes down hard on Judge for his vast amounts of cockiness.

Mark: Oh come on, that's sportmanship of the worst kind there.

Bobby: Why is that? Just because he wants to punish Craven for even dreaming of trying to pull a two on one against him? The man deserves punishment... with a Capital P. Get it?

Mark: Yeah, yeah I get...

Bobby: Capital!

Mark: I got it Bobby

Bobby: Punishment! See, it's GREAT!

Mark: *sigh*

Judge gets to his feet and drags Craven up with him. Locking his arms around Michael's waist from the front, Judge heaves his opponent up... and throws him up and over his head! The Nightmare goes flying backwards and lands with a hellacious SLAM to the mat! The challenger looks weary as the Champion floats over and drags Craven to his feet again, this time locking his arms around his waist from behind. A side view shows the Champion screaming into Craven's ear...

Judge: So... take out the champ and then fight it out? I don't think so, you two aren't wrestler enough to take a REAL grappler out! Eat THIS!

With that, Mental throws his weight backwards, bridging his back as Craven is forced up and over Judge's head... and is SLAMMED hard on his neck... but the Champion isn't finished. Judge rolls both himself and the Freak over onto their sides and rolls both back up to a standing position... and NAILS another German Suplex... but Judge forces both to get back up to a vertical base one more time.... CRUSHING Craven headfirst to the mat! Mental finally releases his lock around Michael's waist and allows his opponent's body to collapse to the mat in a very unnatural position. Judge walks on his knees over to the fallen Craven and rolls him over onto his back. Judge then leans back onto the Chimera's chest, as Chioda counts...

ONE...

TWO... and Judge simply sits up.

Mark: Oh come off it! This is simply ludicrous, if you have the man beat, then beat him dammit, don't pull this dog and pony show just to satiate your own ego!

Bobby: Mark, you need to learn how to sit down and shut up and enjoy a great beating. Craven has had this coming for a long time. This is a demonstration of how a REAL wrestler should fight. Grappling! Technical work! Judge is a wonderful protege of that other great technical worker, Tom Flesher, and it is paying off in spades. Look at the Hardcore Gamer's Champion, Mark! A TRUE role model! Judge Mental!

The Champion drags Craven to his feet and throws him roughly against the ropes. Michael bounces off as Judge leans down for a backdrop... Craven gets the wherewithal to throw a weak kick to Mental's face! Craven then runs to the ropes himself, as Judge turns around to catch what the challenger is about to do.... and Craven flies high off the ropes, catching him in a Lou Theiz press! Michael takes the opportunity to throw some hard punches right to the face of the Champion while he's down. The crowd begins to cheer for Craven, wanting to see the Magnificent Seven member taken down! Sliding down, Craven rises to his feet with one of Judge's legs under each of his arms. Dragging the Champion upwards, Craven uses his knees to become a fulcrum behind Judge's back, and catapults him! Judge flies forward through the air and lands face first on the top turnbuckle behind the challenger! The stunned Mental staggers backwards... and walks right into a neckbreaker from Craven! The crowd rises to their feet as Michael floats over for a quick cover....

ONE...

TWO...

KICKOUT!

Bobby: Not enough! At least dignify the man by using one of those ultra goofy moves you call finishers before making a pin attempt!

Mark: You never know, Bobby, you can get a fall anywhere at any time in this league!

Craven gets up to his feet and looks down at his fallen opponent. Seeing his close proximity to the corner, he gets and idea and proceeds to drag the Champion closer to the center of the ring. Then, he makes a mad dash for the corner and begins to climb upwards... standing tall on the top rope above Judge Mental. Craven steadies himself... then has to steady himself again as he feels a tremor on the ropes. Then he feels another, and looks to his left to see the cause.... Annie Eclectic on top of the parallel corner! The Chimera screams at the other challenger...

Craven: He's MINE! GET OFF!

Eclectic: You think I'm going to let you get away with kicking my ass so easily?

Craven: GET OFF! I DESERVE this!

Eclectic: Don't make me come over there and beat you a SIXTH time!

Craven: THAT'S IT!

Michael climbs back down from the top and makes a rush towards the Hardcore Queen... but Annie has climbed down to the second turnbuckle... when Craven reaches halfway between the corners, Annie leaps off.... Catches the Freak's head under her arm in mid air and twists her body to force his momentum to match hers. Annie spikes her body down hard and Michael's head goes with it... as Craven flips over Annie on impact and lands a good three feet away. The crowd applauds her efforts as Annie gets back up, her need for revenge satiated for now.

Mark: We talked earlier tonight of how Annie and Judge might have been looking past Craven to each other, but who expected Judge and Craven to overlook -Annie-! Eclectic's back in the hunt, Carnie fans rejoice!

Bobby: And true fans of wrestling begin to hope for Judge Mental to pull through! I don't believe I might have to sit idly by while this excuse of a wrestler steals Judge Mental's thunder! It's criminal!

Mark: Speaking of the Judge... watch out Annie!

Judge Mental rises from the spot where he was dragged to and rushes towards Eclectic. Annie turns but not in time as Mental powers her down with a hard lariat! The crowd audibly deflates as Judge Mental takes back control of the match. Mental aims for the downed woman's ribs and drops a well placed knee right into her side. Judge rises again only to drop a second knee right into the hurt ribs of the Hardcore Queen. More boos rain down, drowning out Annie's screams of pain as Judge unrelentingly lands blow after blow to her side. Picking the Hardcore Queen up, Judge puts her head between his legs in a standing headscissors and locks his arms around her waist. Lifting up, Judge flips the light woman up and balances her weight across his shoulder. Annie's body bends limply backwards as Judge proceeds to make short hops and pull down on Annie's torso, bending her backwards even further across his shoulder!

Bobby: That is one of the smartest men in wrestling, Flesher aside! Going right back to the achilles heel of his opponent, using a pendulum back breaker to wear down those hurt ribs and spine even more.

Mark: Things are looking incredibly bleak here. Ash hasn't moved in minutes, and Annie might just be forced to submit! I know how tough she is, and I know how big her heart is but this match isn't worth risking a career over!

Chioda checks on Annie to see if she's near submitting but then Mental jerks away from the official, hindering his ability to do his job. Chioda follows to make an attempt to see if Annie will give up but Judge again turns, forcing the submission to be on even longer...

Mark: Stop this showboating dammit! This isn't the god damn Judge Mental show! You won't get more respect if you cripple a woman in a Hardcore match!

Bobby: Can't take the suspense can you? I know I'm at the edge of my seat! Will he break her back with this move, or will he try the Capital Punishment? I'm all aflutter!

Mark: You're just as horrible as him. I can't believe I work with you.

Chioda works around for a third time, but this time Judge Mental prevents Chioda from checking Annie's status by throwing her off his shoulder... and SLAMMING HER ONTO HIS KNEE! The crowd groans collectively as Eclectic screeches out in unadulterated agony and collapses near the corner. Judge flips Annie onto her stomach and locks his hands underneath her chin. Squatting down, Mental pulls up as hard as he can, bending the Hardcore Queen's back even more in a camel clutch. Annie reaches out, her hand trying to find the ropes... and she does! Her hand clasps around the bottom rope near the turnbuckle... but the hold doesn't release!

Bobby: Nice try lady, but if you're so hardcore why did you forget that rope breaks don't occur in these matches? Ha ha, this is too rich!

Mark: You can hear the boos... some of the people in the front row are in tears and this is the worst specticle I've seen in a long time. I think at this point there's no shame in tapping. Just let this end, and Annie needs to take a long long rest after this. Just tap Annie.... if you can hear me just tap!

Her mind slowly clouds... she feels her hand on the rope but the pain continues.... she pulls hard, inching further towards the ropes but still the hold stays on. She drops her hand, her arm dropping below the ring apron..... and then SNAPPING BACK, BOKKEN IN HAND! Mental takes the hilt of the practice sword full on his temple, and the Champion falls back clutching his head! Annie slumps down on the bottom turnbuckle, taking in a breath and trying to clear her head. Mental rolls over, clutching his head in pain. The referee looks over at Craven, still down and groggy. With a semi-shrug, he begins to count all three down...

ONE...

TWO...

Mark: What sort of development will happen here?

THREE...

Bobby: A triple count out means Judge retains! Joy!

FOUR...

Judge Mental gets to one knee....

FIVE...

Then up to his feet. The referee stops counting on Mental but still counts the other two participants....

SIX....

SEVEN....

Judge Mental looks down at Annie Eclectic, weakly trying to get up to a knee...

EIGHT....

Annie falls back to the mat, still in too much pain....

NINE.....

And Judge leans down and roughly drags Eclectic to her feet before Chioda can count ten.

Bobby: Can't he count Craven down and award it to Judge?

Mark: No, two people are still up, no way to determine a winner. I feel that Mental want to inflict still more punishment on Eclectic, and this can't be good.

Judge attempts to lock up on Annie but she thrusts the handle of her bokken into his gut, knocking the wind out of the champion for a second. Annie stands up straight and sends the blade of the sword up and then crashing down on the top of Judge's cranium! Mental staggers back as Annie heads to the ropes. The crowd begins to get back into the match, cheering louder and louder as Annie rebounds off the ropes and connects with a running bokken shot, knocking the Champion to the mat! The crowd explodes in cheers as the weakened and pained Annie attempts a full comeback...

Bobby: Damn her! The match is almost over, Judge Mental has this wrapped up and she resorts back to what she knows, this awful garbage wrestling! She can't get anywhere without that damn wooden sword! What a miscarriage of justice!

Mark: This is hardcore rules, Bobby! That weapon is allowed and Annie E is taking full advantage! But if she wants this over she has to do it quick, one more attack to her midsection and I don't think she can recover again!

Annie drags Mental up to his feet and holds her bokken back and then takes a baseball swing to Judge's ribs, doubling the man over! Eclectic quickly locks in a standing headscissors, then points to the sky....

Mark: DAYBREAK! She's going for the Daybreak.... this might be IT!

Annie rises up in the air... but it becomes apparent it's not by her own force. Judge stands straight up with Annie draped over his back like a cape. Then, with violent force he leans back forward, sending Annie up and over his head and getting SLAMMED backfirst to the mat! Eclectic simply stops moving at that point but Judge refuses to finish with a pin. Keeping ahold of Annie's legs, Judge steps over her body and turns Eclectic over without protest. Cinching lower down Annie's legs, he shortens the amount of body between him and her back... then crouches back in a high angle Boston Crab!

Bobby: YES! That's it, it HAS to be over now! Judge Mental! The best damn Hardcore Gamer's Champion we've ever had!

Mark: This may truly be it... but Craven's getting up! Craven's up and he might break this up! Hurry Michael!!!!

Chioda looks at Annie's face, but it refuses to say a word. She lifts her fist up and refuses to tap. Chioda asks her if she submits but she says an emphatic "NO" between screams of anguish. Craven finally gets to his feet and seeing the hold, slowly starts to advance for a break. Judge Mental leans back even further, eliciting more screams of anguish from Eclectic.... slowly getting quieter and quieter. Chioda asks Annie again but gets no response. He checks for space under her arms but they're flush to the mat. Craven slowly steps forward, groggily trying to make the save to continue the match... Judge sees Craven coming but holds on to the hold, hoping for a quick tap. But Craven keeps on coming.... closer....

closer...

And Craven finally reaches Judge and breaks up the hold!

....

DING DING DING

...too late.

Mark: I didn't see a tapout! What is this?

Bobby: Um... I did! I'm certain she tapped out!

Judge gets up and clothelines Craven to the mat, sending him down for a while. Turning around, he catches Chioda talking to Funyon in the corner of the ring. The crowd buzzes with confusion, waiting for word to be given of the match's winner....

Mark: I don't see how this match ended, Bobby... but Funyon's about to make an announcement, it looks like we'll find out.

All eyes turn to the ring announcer...

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, according to SWF rules, if a victim of a submission hold passes out while in the hold, it is to be counted as if the opponenet tapped out or said they submitted. Therefore, your winner, at twenty two minutes and fifteen seconds, by way of submission.... and STILL!

The crowd boos incessantly as Judge Mental simply smiles and raises his hands up in victory.

Funyon: S W F Hardcore Gamer's champion.... JUDGE MENTAL!

"Testify" by Rage Against The Machine plays anew as the retaining Champion is handed his belt.

Mark: Mental retains, but what a show of heart we just saw by Annie Eclectic. She NEVER tapped folks. Remember this, and lets hope the damage isn't too extensive.

Bobby: Speak for yourself, I only wished Craven could have gotten some Capital Punishment himself! There's always Storm for that though....

Mark: Somehow this doesn't seem over between anyone that participated in this incredible match, we'll try to get word on Annie's condition as time passes in the show tonight, but for now stay tuned to SWF SmarkDown.

The camera pans in on Annie Eclectic's motionless face, just as we fade into commercial.

January 18, 2003

The camera fades back in on the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan, then starts panning the crowd. Fans are shown holding up signs such as "I'm Here To See Frost," "I'm Here To See Francis" and "I'm Here To See That Goofy Referee."

In the ring, junior official Brian Szabelski fires off a quick wave and smile.

The camera rolls over the crowd and to the SmarkTron, where photos of Tom Flesher on the left and Mak Francis on the right appear. Across the bottom of the screen, the words "TOM FLESHER VS. MAK FRANCIS" scroll in, and the fans pop. Finally, the viewfinder settles on the announcing area, where "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens sits next to Bobby Riley. As always, the two men have their beverages of choice in front of them (Stevens with a Yuengling Lager, Riley with a licensed Tom Flesher travel mug full of coffee), and Stevens is shuffling through his papers.

"Mark," says Riley, "what are you looking for?"

"Well, Bobby, I realized the other day that your contract should be just about up. I've been meaning to take a look at it and see whether we want to renew you."

Riley gulps. "You're thinking about firing me?"

"Well, it all depends on what the other candidate for the job has to offer. He's actually one step ahead of you."

"Oh yeah?" Riley gets defensive, trying to cover his turf in a manner reminiscent of a cat spraying the wall. "How does this other applicant propose to help the fed?"

"For one, he'll cut the wardrobe budget..."

"No... you're kidding me..."

"Hey, if the guy doesn't want to wear pants, that's definitely to his advantage."

"What if *I* stopped wearing pants?"

"If you stopped wearing pants, Flesher would never come over to drink your coffee again."

Riley simply sighs dejectedly. Stevens grins and faces the camera. "Fans, we're ready for an exciting battle between two top mat workers, so without further ado, let's go to Funyon!"

In the ring, Funyon announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall!" The crowd pops, and Funyon continues, "Making his way to the ring..."

The house lights shut off as the wispy sounds of a digital xylophone echo throughout the arena. The lights throb and pulsate as a hard string beat suddenly strikes up and fades into the forefront.

“So do you wanna’ be a Franchise… And live large… A big house… five cars…”

The SmarkTron flares up with a blue and white photonegative image of Mak Francis, which is followed by ‘THE FRANCHISE’ in large green lettering, flashing on the screen in time with the song.

“The rent charge… Comin’ up in the world, don’t trust nobody… Gotta’ look over your shoulder constantly!”

As the (slightly altered) opening lyrics of "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill blare over the PA system, Mak Francis waits in the back. He stays behind the curtain form a few extra seconds, teasing the crowd until he finally steps out into the Joe Louis Arena. The lights come back up and the Franchise struts out onto the stage, tilting his shades down on the bridge of his nose before looking left and then right at the crowd…

“I remember the days, when I was a young kid grownin’ up… Lookin’ in the mirror dreamin’ about blowin’ up!”

With that, multiple short bursts of green pyrotechnics begin to erupt from either side of him. He readjusts his sunglasses with a smirk before slowly strolling down to ringside. After walking up the ring steps, he cockily wipes his feet on the apron, giving a salute to the crowd that seems far more sincere than usual. The crowd, split about fifty-fifty on Francis, shouts mixed noise at him as he enters through the ropes. Francis climbs the nearest turnbuckle and poses with both fists raised in the air.

"From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the home of the cheese steak, I give you 225 pounds of prime Philly beefcake, he is the Franchise, he is MAK... FRANCIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Francis smirks and nods at the crowd, which is leaning slightly more toward loving him than hating him. He jumps down off the turnbuckle, strips off his t-shirt and shades, and sets them in the corner as he turns to watch the entrance ramp.

"AND... his... opponent...."

The SmarkTron goes completely white before the blue words "SUPERIORITY COMPLEX" and "MAGNIFICENT SEVEN" fade in on it. Then, with an explosion of blue pyro, "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin bursts out over the loudspeaker. After a moment's delay, Tom Flesher emerges from the cloud of smoke, striding confidently to the ring as videos of his signature moves alternate in half-second clips with the words "SUPERIOR ONE," "AWARD-WINNING," "MAIN ATTRACTION" and "MAGNIFICENT SEVEN." He walks purposefully, clad in his warm-up with the SWF Tag Team Title slung over his shoulder, ignoring the crowd's abuse. After a few steps, he stops. Pausing in the middle of the aisle, Tom turns toward the entranceway. He waits a moment, and after the fans go silent, the curtain spreads.

Out walks Danny Williams!

The crowd begins to boo instinctively as "Deathwish" walks out from the back, following closely behind his stablemate.

"What do you make of this?" asks Mark Stevens. "Danny Williams is coming to the ring with Tom Flesher!"

"What do you think I make of it, Stevens?! I'm thrilled! Just to be in the presence of someone like 'Deathwish' Danny Williams, who's going to become the next ICTV Champion later tonight, absolutely makes my day!"

"I thought being near Flesher made your day."

"Only when I'm not wearing pants."

Flesher and Williams walk to the ring, in close proximity but not together by any means. In fact, Williams acts as if his trip to the ring is completely unrelated to Flesher's match. His gaze is focused on Mak Francis. He never averts his eyes, and as Flesher climbs the stairs, Williams stands in the corner and leans on the apron.

After wiping his feet on the apron, Flesher enters the ring and poses in the center, head bobbing in time with the music. At the symphonic hook at 50 seconds in, a machinegun-like burst of blue and white pyro explodes from each corner as Tom lifts his title belt high into the air for a picturesque silhouette.

As the music fades, Flesher stays in the center of the ring as Funyon pulls an index card out of his pocket. "Ladies, gentlemen, and Taft," reads everyone's favorite heavily-salted snack tread, "let's make this short and sweet. Tom Flesher is justice. Tom Flesher is rule. Tom Flesher is 213 pounds of head-dropping, jobber-stretching goodness, so bow down before your next SWF World Hevayweight Champion, bow down to the Superior One, Tom Flesher!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Funyon waits a moment, then announces, "The views expressed in this index card are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this announcer."

Flesher golf-claps for himself, no-selling the crowd's boos, and then strips off his warmup suit. He folds it, sets it in the corner and leans against the ropes. As he cracks his neck and stretches out his shoulders, Brian Szabelski calls for the bell.

DING DING DING!!!!!!

Flesher and Francis meet in the center of the ring. They each fall into the quasi-defensive amateur wrestling stance, and Mak starts the standard circling to get an angle on Flesher's left leg for a takedown. Flesher, though, opts to drop down and shoot a very fast single-leg takedown. He grabs the Franchise's left leg, levers it out from under him and quickly spins behind, taking Francis straight to the mat. However, rather than pursuing a hold on the mat, Flesher simply shoves Mak away and stands up, smirking. The crowd reacts by booing as Francis stands back up, angry and ashamed of Flesher's egotistical catch-and-release ploy. Flesher grins at him and points to his leg, implicitly baiting Francis to try the same thing. Francis angrily drops into his stance, then shoots forward. Flesher tries to jerk his leg back and out of the way, but Mak grabs it and secures his grip before yanking the leg out from under him. Flesher spills to the mat, and Francis follows behind him... before shoving Flesher away and springing back to his feet, prompting a loud ovation from the crowd! Danny Williams, on the sidelines, watches intently but barely moves, much less shows emotion.

"What a single-leg takedown by Mak Francis!" shouts Mark Stevens. "And the crowd, which started off very lukewarm toward Mak, is starting to rally behind him!"

"Pfft," scoffs Riley in a manner suggesting that the writer is unable to conjure an appropriate comeback or punchline.

Flesher gets back to his feet, more upset with the development than Mak was, and steps in to cut off Mak's angle of attack. Rather than attempting a single-leg takedown, however, Flesher entangles Francis's arm and locks on a two-handed control grip. Mak, recognizing the classic Russian tie from his college years, counters it by using the classic technique: he backs away, frees his arm and follows through into a duck-under takedown. Flesher, though, is, as always, familiar with the classic counters to Greco-Roman gambits, and catches Mak's arm as he drives through. Stopping the Franchise abruptly in his motion, Flesher keeps the arm and steps over Mak's opposite arm, locking on a seated octopus stretch! Danny Williams nods wordlessly on the outside as Flesher smirks and trash-talks to his opponent, left floundering and straining to escape.

"Maybe," says Bobby Riley, "that was a poor decision by little Makky-wakky. He's trying to outwrestle Flesher, when the best he can ever even hope for is to outrun him."

In the ring, Flesher cranks the octopus stretch, and Francis continues trying to break the hold. He flexes every joint in his upper body, looking for some way he can power out. Eventually, he resigns himself to scooting toward the ropes. Tom tries to hold his opponent back, but Mak finally reaches out and grabs the middle strand! Brian Szabelski administers the standard five-count, at which point Flesher breaks the hold. Instead of releasing Francis, though, Flesher begins unloading a series of quick kicks to Mak's back! The Detroit crowd shows their displeasure by beginning a "YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!" chant. After a moment, Szabelski forces his body between Tom and Mak, putting an end to the kicking and drawing polite applause.

"Tom Flesher is taking control early," notes Stevens. "His first attempt at mind games failed when Francis was able to match his single leg takedown and release him, so he seems to be going back to straight submission wrestling, where he thinks he'll have the biggest advantage over 'the Franchise.'"

"Thinks?" snorts Riley. "He THINKS he's a better mat wrestler than Mak?! He could take that kid to school any day of the week! What are you thinking?"

"Bobby, on any given night, any SWF superstar can defeat any other. Do you remember what an upset it was when Erek Taylor beat El Luchadore Magnifico?"

"Oh, oh," says Riley, as if he had been exposed to some great truth of the universe. "You mean like when Magnifico surprised everyone and went the distance with Flesher."

"No," says Grand Slam sourly. "No, that's not it at all."

As Mak starts to move away from the ropes, Brian Szabelski allows Flesher to attack him again, this time kicking out Mak's knees to keep him on the mat. When Mak falls back down, Flesher descends on him and reaches around to seatbelt his arms around Mak's waist in position for a gutwrench suplex. The more astute fans recognize that Flesher is attempting to execute his trademark Ego Buster sheer-drop gutwrench and begin a loud inspirational chant of "FRANCIS! FRANCIS!" while clapping in rhythm. Mak, feeding off of the crowd's energy, grabs Flesher's wrist and grapples his way out of the waistlock. He keeps the left wrist, though, and when Flesher releases the hold in order to attempt another move, Mak takes advantage of the situation. He stays in the seated position and wrenches Flesher's arm, then spins out. Before 'the Superior One' knows what hit him, Mak has already rolled through and locked on a cross armbreaker! As the fans pop for the jujigatame (having been conditioned to do so by Danny Williams), Flesher panics and immediately starts flailing his free limbs. Serendipitously, Flesher manages to kick the bottom rope, and he quickly hooks his legs around it to break the dangerous hold. Mak, disappointed, releases the hold and returns to the center of the ring before he acknowledges the polite applause.

"These fans are giving Mak an A for Effort!" says Mark Stevens, who then raises his eyebrow and queries, "Bobby, are the writers a little off this week?"

"I don't know, Mark, but I think so. We're not bickering as much as we usually do, and your commentary is oddly reminiscent of a crappy prime-time drama's take on a pee wee soccer game."

In the back, the man in the gorilla position whispers into Grand Slam's earpiece how sorry he is for being off his game this evening, and rationalizes that he got caught in traffic and didn't have time to finish writing the dialogue until the evening of the match.

"Yeah," grumbles Stevens, "well the least you could have done was told me ahead of time."

Right then.

Danny Williams watches intently, mentally processing Mak's application of the jujigatame. Flesher, meanwhile, tries to back away, but Francis stays on him like ugly on Tod deKindes. He throws a series of quick elbows, ending with a sneer and a nod in Danny's direction. Mak backs away, and Flesher attempts to step into an attack. Francis blocks him out, though, and hammers him with a few forearm blows. Flesher hits the ropes, and once again Mak dutifully stops the attack. Once again, Flesher steps forward and throws a palm strike. This one connects, and Mak steps backward. As Flesher relaxes for a moment, though, Mak plants his feet, regains his footing and backs into the opposite ropes. He bounces off, and just as Flesher regains his senses, Mak begins to lift his foot into the air for a Yakuza kick! Flesher's eyes grow to rouohly the size of dinner plates and the crowd takes collective gasp. Will tonight be the night when Mak Francis finally knocks Tom Flesher's teeth into his throat with the feared Yakuza kick?

BZZZZZZZZZZT.

Thanks for asking, though.

At the last possible second, Flesher drops to the mat. As Mak's boot whizzes over his head and hits the ropes, Flesher's face turns to a warm grin of relief. Calmly, he reaches out and grabs Mak's ankle. He yanks it out, sending his off-balance rival spilling to the mat. Flesher stands up, keeping his hold on the ankle, and begins to rotate into a spinning toe hold! Mak calmly waits for Flesher to complete his rotation and begin another. As Flesher does just that, Mak reaches up and grabs his head. He secures the hold, rolls to the side and simultaneously hooks Flesher's legs, locking him into a small package! Brian Szabelski drops to the mat and counts

ONE!

but no more, as Flesher breaks the pin and starts to roll away. Mak, however, keeps his grip on the head and sits through into a side headlock. Flesher reaches around and attempts to peel Mak's hands apart, but Francis refuses to release his grip. Instead, he stands up. Flesher, knowing what his former protege is going to do next, immediately starts to sink his hips and effectively lower his center of gravity. Nonetheless, 'the Franchise' is undeterred. He stubbornly tries to bring his hips through and slam Flesher to his back with a side headlock takeover. 'The Superior One,' however, somehow sandbags successfully.

"Superb!" says Riley, who then chuckles and murmurs something about beating Stevens to his cue.

With Mak's throw successfully neutralized, Flesher readjusts his stance. He takes advantage of the headlock by reaching and locking his arms around his adversary's waist. Mak tries to sandbag, but Flesher's inherent functional strength proves too much for him. Flesher lifts Francis off the mat, arches his back and sends him crashing to the mat head first with a vicious backdrop driver! The crowd gasps, and a few workrate freaks in the crowd burst into spontaneous applause for the display of chain wrestling that the two workers are putting on. After Mak lands on his back, Flesher takes a moment to catch his breath, and then rolls over on top of Mak. Szabelski checks the shoulders, then counts

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT! Mak Francis manages to kick out, and Tom Flesher moves off to the side. he steps over Francis's arm and begins to abuse his elbow and shoulder with a pumphandle armbar.

"What a display by these two wrestlers," says Stevens. "They're wrestling so well, it's almost a shame that one of them has to lose."

"Yeah," agrees Riley, sounding earnestly dejected. "It's really too bad that Mak Francis is going to whine, cry like a little girl, pee himself, offer Tom his firstborn son, offer Tom his wife, and eventually tap out like the glorified jobber he is."

"Well, I don't know about that. This has been a very even match in my book."

"Pfft. Mark, you of all people should know your book doesn't hold much water."

Flesher torques Mak's arm while Mak takes a few seconds to recover from the backdrop driver before he starts to defend. He runs through a mental list of ways to break a stepover pumphandle armbar. The fans can almost see the wheels moving in his head. 'Hm,' he must be thinking. 'How... HOW does one go about breaking a pumphandle armbar?'

Why, with an elbow to the testicles, of course.

Mak jerks his arm upward, momentarily increasing the pressure on his arm but at the same time impacting Flesher's groin painfully. Williams, emotionless as ever, sits on the outside, simply watching and making a mental note of the Franchise's tactics of choice. Flesher, meanwhile, doubles over in pain and grabs his groin. Francis frees his arm and grabs Flesher's wrist, yanking it backward and turning it into a pumphandle grip. Chaining his hands with Flesher's, Mak uses the grip to roll Flesher forward into a modified cradle for

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT! Flesher breaks the hold and, acting much like a wounded animal, tries to scoot away from Mak. The Franchise, of course, will have none of this.

Mak stays on Flesher, locking his hands around the Superior One's waist. Flesher continues trying to move away, knowing what's coming.

"Flesher's afraid of Francis!" shouts Stevens gleefully. "He's scared to death of what Francis is going to do to him!"

"Oh, get OVER it!" roars Riley. "That was a blatant low blow, and Mak Francis should be ashamed of himself! CHILDREN watch this show! What would happen if every child in America went and hit his brother in the groin right now?"

"Well, I imagine there'd be a lot of screeching," deadpans Stevens.

Riley is enraged by this. "THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT TESTICLES!" he screams at the top of his lungs. "NOTHING AT ALL!"

Flesher tries desperately to crawl away, and when he realizes that Mak has a strong grip on him, he switches to trying to hug the mat. However, in his shellshocked state, Flesher is unable to adequately defend himself, and for that reason Mak Francis is able to lift him with relative ease, arch his back, and throw Flesher onto his neck with a sickeningly high-angle released German suplex.

"FILTHY GERMAN~!" declares Stevens as the fans begin a "FRANCHISE! FRANCHISE!" chant.

"No, see, Tod's not German, he just STUDIED- oh." Riley once again establishes himself as having the intelligence of a nipple.

Flesher lands on the back of his neck and rolls through onto his stomach, nearly tangling himself in the ropes. As Mak starts to drop down onto him for a fall, though, Tom opts to simply roll out of the ring. The fans boo loudly at Flesher's show of cowardice, and Mak stays in the ring to debate whether to chase him out.

"Chasing Tom Flesher around the outside would be a very poor idea," says Grand Slam. "Mak has nothing to gain in this match. Flesher doesn't have a singles title-"

"For practically the first time in his career," interrupts Riley.

"AHEM. As I was saying, Flesher doesn't have a title, so Mak has no vested interest in winning the match by fall or submission. He needs to pick his battles, and if Flesher wants to get counted out, Mak should take the win."

"Now that's just damn foolish," chides Bobby. "That's the coward's way out, Stevens. Mak Francis should go out there and try to win the match so Flesher can hit HIM in the crotch."

As if he could hear Riley, Mak suddenly drops to the mat and slides out under the bottom rope. He goes to the outside, where Flesher stands up weakly and tries to face him. Mak rears back, swings his hand, and...

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

absolutely cuts through Flesher with a knife-edge chop! Flesher staggers backwards, and Mak takes advantage of his stupor by grabbing him by the wrist and Irish whipping him into the corner post! Taking a leaf from Flesher's own book, Mak follows three steps behind, aiming to crush Flesher's head against the steel with a Yakuza kick! He gets in close, throws his boot into the air, and....

sends it whizzing just past Flesher's ear as the Superior One dodges to the side.

Babies cry. Fans boo. Some demand their money back. And perhaps the greatest insight comes from Bobby Riley.

"You'd think that schmuck would just try something different."

Mak kicks the ringpost forcefully, sending lightning bolts of pain up his leg. Flesher, meanwhile, takes a moment to regroup. He steps back and readjusts his position before realizing that Francis is essentially a sitting duck. He drops into his stance and charges forward, palm cocked up, and leaps toward the ringpost! Mak ducks at the last second, displaying powers quite similar to Flesher's ability to dodge a Yakuza kick, and Tom slams hard into the post. Mak takes a second to regroup, and then turns around just as Tom staggers out of the corner and falls down onto his face. He grabs Flesher and rolls him to the inside, prompting applause from the fans and a silent, almost imperceptible nod from Danny Williams. Mak follows quickly behind, and once he gets inside, he rolls onto Flesher for

ONE!

TWO!

THRE- NO!!!!!!! Flesher kicks out with just a heartbeat to spare! Flesher sits up, and Mak immediately spins behind him. He starts to lift Flesher to his feet, clearly looking for another filthy German~!, but Flesher somehow finds the presence of mind to execute a standing switch before Mak can send him backwards. Flesher ends up behind Mak and lifts him up, but opts for a simple waistlock throw takedown instead of a full German suplex. He ends up on top of Mak. Tom reaches down and spins, grabbing Mak in gutwrench position!

"He's going for the Ego Buster again," says Mark Stevens. "Can he hit it this time?"

"Of COURSE he can," sighs Riley. "You just have to have FAITH."

Flesher lifts Francis up high... and Mak catches him with a headscissors grip! Mak quickly twists his body around, sending Flesher spilling to the mat! Flesher, using his 18-inch neck to his advantage, bounces back up only mildly stunned, but Mak catches him immediately and whips him into a corner! Mak, meanwhile, runs to the ropes, and as Flesher staggers forward out of the corner, Mak leaps into the air and nails him with a running bulldog! The fans cheer, knowing what comes next.

Mak rolls through, then bounces off the ropes and starts strutting pimpishly towards Flesher's prone body. He rolls his shoulders, shakes his hips and generally mocks Flesher, eventually hiking his pants up at the last second and fully extending his body before finally dropping fist-first onto Flesher! The crowd cheers, and Williams simply looks dissatisfied.

"THE TRUTH HURTS!" says Stevens approvingly. "But it NEEDS to be said!"

"Well in that case, that's a really stupid-looking tie."

Mak pops up and soaks the cheers in for one brief moment before he covers Flesher. Brian Szabelski, momentarily distracted by something shiny on the ground, turns around quickly and realizes he should probably count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE- NO!!!!!!!! Szabelski laughs out loud, apologizes for missing the count, and laughs out loud. Mak simply sighs.

Mak lifts Flesher up and locks his hands around his waist. He continues the lift, and finally slams the Superior One to the mat with a gutwrench suplex! With that, Mak points to the sky, and the crowd goes absolutely WILD!

"It's time for Brotherly Love!" declares Stevens.

Riley adds, "..."

Mak climbs to the top rope, with the crowd cheering louder and louder for him as he climbs each turnbuckle. Once he gets to the top, he pauses, and... instead of leaping off the top with his frog splash, Mak Francis takes just a second to raise the roof.

The crowd, simply put, explodes!

Mak keeps raising the roof, encouraging the crowd to cheer louder and louder for him. With every time the Franchise plays to the crowd, they respond, getting more and more excited. At the very moment they reach a frenzy and are about to blow, Mak jumps off the top rope and hits the apex of his jump! He pumps his elbows and knees together, and the crowd goes wild as he falls to the mat at an alarming speed, ready to hit Tom Flesher with the impact that will put him out for good!

... in theory, anyway.

Flesher sees Mak falling towards him, and does the only thing he can think of. He brings his knees up. Mak, falling from the air, sees the knees. His face falls into a mask of terror, but there's nothing he can do. He simply impacts, his own weight driving his abdomen into Flesher's flexed knees. Mak rolls off, grabbing his stomach, and Tom smirks malevolently.

"That's GOTTA hurt!" says Riley.

"How astute of you," replies Stevens, rolling his eyes.

Mak writhes on the ground, and Flesher, acting as if he had accomplished something instead of simply taking advantage of Mak's fatal flaw of loving the crowd too much, snottily kicks his former protege in the ribs. Without wasting time, however, he reaches down and locks his hands around Mak's waist. Flesher quickly hoists the Franchise into the air, lifting him high in the gutwrench lock. Suddenly, BAM~! Flesher sits out, driving Mak neck-first into the mat with the Ego Buster! The fans boo loudly as Flesher rolls over onto Mak for

ONE!

TWO!!

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!

Flesher rolls off, and Brian Szabelski raises his arm into the air. Danny Williams, satisfied with having seen his next challenger compete, simply turns and walks coolly toward the back.

Stevens closes out with a quick, "When we return, that man, Danny Williams, takes on Frost and Orochi for the ICTV Title! All up NEXT!"

January 18, 2003

Back from the commercial break, Smarkdown takes us to a set up in one of the hallways of the Joe Louis Arena. Several people stand around a set up that’s obviously a photo shoot of some kind, and then all if revealed as HVT walks up, complete in his gear.

(HVT) – Yo…y’all ready fo’ dis? I gotta a match I need to get ready for.

Some photographer dude, let’s call him Guy, steps forwards…

(Guy) – Yeah, we’re ready. Here, take this can and stand over there.

(HVT) – Aight…

Thugg takes the can of Met-RX and stands in front of the blue screen…

(Guy) – Ok, hold the can like this, and give me a smile…

::click::

(Guy) – Yes, yes….that’s it…great.

::click::

(Guy) – Ok…now, I need you to…LOOK OUT!!

Guy’s warning is just a bit too late as a large figure goes flying into the scene and tackles Thugg through the blue screen and into the equipment behind it. The camera zooms in and reveals Perfect Bo wrestling with Thugg for position while the fans at ringside can be heard booing like mad. Bo and Thugg roll on the ground, each throwing a punch every now and then, some landing, some not. After a few moments of fighting, a bunch of security guards come running in and pull the two apart. They continue to throw punches at the air, however, and one guard accidently gets hit.

(HVT) – YO!! What the fuck you want from me yo?!?

(Bo) – To die.

(HVT) – Yo, get the fuck off me so I can straight blast this pussy!!

(Bo) – Come on bitch! Bring it…

HVT yanks forward and actually manages to break the hold of the guards. He charges Bo, whose guards let him go so he can defend himself, and the two begin to throw wild punches and wrestle with one another once again. After a few moments, the guards separate them again…

(HVT) – Yo, I swear to god…you’re fuckin’ dead!

(Bo) – What you got Damien…what you gonna bring yo!

(HVT) – Yo…I ain’t fuckin’ around wit yo no more cuz…for real. Damn a world title…damn a Clusterfuck…fuck all that shit! At Clusterfuck yo…it’s me and you nigga! And I’m gonna get my revenge bitch!

(Bo) – Oh, it’s on playa! Time fo’ me to finish the job, and that’s real son.

(HVT) – You ain’t foolin’ nobody yo…everybody knows DC has always been better than bitch as NYC, and come next Sunday playa, I’m gonns prove it to everyone when I..

WRECK…

YO…

SHIT!!

With that, Thugg snatches away from the guards and leaves the area, leaving Bo fuming yet anxious to get at HVT at Clusterfuck.

(Stevens) – Holy crap! Did we just hear what I thought we heard? Perfect Bo and the Hville Thugg…at Clusterfuck?!?

(Riley) – I think you did Mark…

(Stevens) – Oh! What a match that’s gonna be! We gotta take a break, but we’ll be back in a few! You’re watching SWF Smarkdown!

January 18, 2003

The scene fades in from black to scan the cheering crowd. Everyone flashes their signs and waves their arms for but a nanosecond of precious screen time.

“You know if it wasn’t for the people, this wouldn’t be such a bad gig,” is the sarcastic remark of Bobby Riley as the camera sweeps around to finally settle on the commentator’s table.

“Then the next match should be for you, Bobby. While it promises to be a brutal and intense encounter for the ICTV title, neither Danny Williams, Frost or current champion Orochi are crowd favorites.” Mark warns.

“Only a week into his tenure and the Suicide King is already booking for me,” Riley coos with a loving sigh. “I hate to see high caliber guys like Williams, Frost and Orochi fight each other when they could be crushing the likes of Zenon, Craven and Eclectic, but at least I don’t have to deal with one of those morons possibly winning the ICTV title.”

“Frost holds a recent win over Orochi, but Williams holds one of the biggest wins of his career over Frost for the SJL World Title back in June. Both Magnificent 7 stablemates have been hush hush leading up to this match, but we know the tension exists and could split the Mag 7 apart at the seams at any minute.” Mark recaps.

“You’d like that now wouldn’t you? I’m sure that Tom Flesher has spoken with both men in depth and that they have a solid gameplan between them to crush Orochi and bring yet another title into the Mag 7 ranks.”

“Well,” Stevens starts “that match and the intriguing paring of HvilleThugg and El Luchadore Magnifico still await us here on Smarkdown!”

“Right here in Jim Louis Arena.” Riley screams and pounds a fist on the table for emphasis.

“Joe Louis!” Stevens corrects with a bellow.

“Joe Louis, sorry.”

“Who's Jim Louis?”

“Who's Joe Louis?”

“Wait…”Mark pauses with a puzzling look on his face “did you just steal that bit from Bobby Heenan?”

“Uh…let’s got to Funyon for introductions.”

The shot transitions to reveal Funyon standing in the ring and smiling at the murmuring fans. He runs a hand down the wide lapel of his fuscia suit. If K-Mart does go bankrupt where will he buy his clothes? Let’s not worry about such blasphemous thoughts at this time.

“Our next contest this evening will be a triple threat match for the SWF ICTV Title.” The audience pops for Funyon’s announcement and he nods his head while surveying the throng as if to say ‘yup, that’s all for me.’

However, the announcer does not think that when the boos rein down to greet “Jester’s Dance” by In Flames over the sound system. The backstage curtain is brusquely pushed aside by two hulking arms to reveal the stocky form of Danny Williams.

Riley: “Good God, with all that Detroit reaction you’d think Danny killed Barry Gordy or something.”

Williams almost lets a small smirk escape his lips, almost, at the thunderous hate showering him. He slowly lopes down to the ring, cuing Funyon to do the man’s introduction.

“Now walking to the ring from Louisville, Kentucky and weighing in at 238 pounds. He is a member of the Magnificent 7 and the current SWF US Champion…DANNY… WILL…IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS!”

Stevens: “Danny Williams has been tearing up the US title scene sense capturing the belt from Annie Eclectic. Many wrestling insiders are pegging him to move up in the world and becoming a double champ here tonight would certainly boost his worth.”

Williams finally makes it to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope and to his feet just as his music gives way to the more pounding beats of Dweezil Zappa’s “Frost Wants to Kill your Mama.”

“And his opponent…” Funyon trails off. The booing grows even loud and more feverish for the monster Icelander as he emerges from the back; a cigar between his lips and a tag title around his waist. He marches down the ramp with smoke streaming behind him like a runaway locomotive.

Stevens: “Always intense and focused, I would dare say this is the MOST intense and focused I’ve ever seen the Velvet Hammer.”

“tipping the scales at 296 pounds and hailing from Reykjavik, Iceland. He two is a member of the Magnificent 7 and one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions… FRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!” Funyon throws an arm out toward the beast as he leaps to the ring apron and ‘Diesel’s’ over the top rope. He flicks his cigar to the hating masses as a mere afterthought.

Riley: “One might think that Tom Flesher would want to spread the wealth around and see Frost win the belt here this evening with Williams already the US Champion, but he’s brighter than all you peons. If Danny has both belts, he cannot defend both of them in the same night so the Mag 7 will be able to protect one title with the other. Even General Patton would say, ‘damn, now that’s strategy.’”

Stevens: “Closer to home, one would think that the rising tensions between Flesher and Frost would have the stable leader rooting for Deathwish. Although, Frost winning the ICTV belt would keep him out of the World Title picture.”

Riley: “Either way…STRATEGY!”

Frost and Williams take diagonal corners from each other and proceed to warm up. The two look across the ring to lock eyes and give the slightest of nods in recognition of the other. They undo their belts in unison and hand them over the ropes to an attendant, not releasing their dead on gaze.

“And their opponent…” Funyon gets out before the arena and thousands of televisions across the country are blinded by the brightest and whitest of lights. The light fades just enough for one to mark a figure strutting out from the back with his arms open and a swagger in his step in time to the playing tune of “Hikari.”

“weighing 245 pounds and calling Aechiba, Japan home. He is the ICTV Champion …the Balancer…OR…OOOOOOOOOOCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

Stevens: “It’s interesting to note that all three men enter this match with some sort of gold around their waist.”

Riley: “And Orochi is the only one who can walk out of here tonight minus any.”

Stevens: “And without being directly pinned. Frost or Williams could pin each other and steal the title.”

Riley: “Such unfair and sadistic rules…how I love them so.”

Orochi trots up the ring stairs to stand on the apron. He puts a hand on the top rope and starts to duck between the strands into the ring. He suddenly stops, leans back up and shakes his head. He jumps backwards off the apron to the floor and then removes his title belt. He holds his strap out by the end to hand off to the ring attendant, but then just as suddenly jerks it away from her and shakes his head.

Stevens: “What’s this? Orochi is refusing to get in the ring or give up his title belt. It looks…it looks like he’s GOING TO LEAVE!”

Riley: “Despite it being a triple threat, it’s not elimination. Orochi could take the count out loss and retain. Might be the smart move here. I guess some brains rubbed off on him during the feud with Tom Flesher.”

Referee Sexton Hardcastle pleads in vain for Orochi to get into the ring as he backs up toward the ring ramp. He holds his belt high out to the side and points at it, then the figures in the ring while shouting curses.

Stevens: “It sounds like Orochi wants Hardcastle to ring the bell and start the match with just Williams and Frost in the ring.”

Riley: “It’s like we’re in a Tobe Hooper movie with all the brains lying around. Orochi naturally assumes that Danny and Frost would gang up on him, so why not force them to go at each other first and then swoop in to pick at the remains. Win the match before it even starts. You know I had a guy give up during instruction once.”

Stevens: “Will you stop!?”

Williams and Frost move closer to the ropes and yell back at Orochi on the floor. Hardcastle crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head no at Orochi’s request. The champion shrugs his shoulders and turns to walk up the ramp with his arms out to the fans in receiving their “love,” which is currently taking the form of jeering hatred.

Stevens: “It looks like Orochi is going to take your advice Bobby and take a powder, lea…NO!”

Frost and Danny Williams dive through the ropes and land on the floor in mid stride. They sail up the ramp and jump Orochi with a series of forearms and kicks from behind.

Riley: “Big mistake by Orochi in turning his back on them. If you don’t go to the fight, these two ass kickers will just bring the fight to you.”

Orochi collapses to one knee as the forearms continue to come down. The fans boo for the two on one beat down, even their loathing of Orochi can be sheaved at such uneven odds. The ruthless pair lifts Orochi by the shoulders and tosses him off the ramp and back the few feet to smack against the side of the ring. He slumps dazed with his arms stretched on the ring skirt. The Mag 7 contingent charges to drive a raised big boot a piece into Orochi’s chest! One can visibly see the air blown out of his lungs and his chest fold in as he falls to the ground.

Stevens: “Hardcastle has taken to the floor now and the referee is imploring everyone to move inside the ring.”

Riley: “Perhaps Orochi is not as smart as I thought he was. His little ploy there only served to unite Frost and Williams when they might have naturally gone after each other.”

The two men yell at the spastic referee as they lean down and rip Orochi up by his shoulders. They each throw one of his arms over their necks and cinch a fistful of tights.

Stevens: “I thought you said they were fine with each other and no tension of any sort existed in the stable.”

Riley: “There you go putting words in my mouth again.”

Stevens: “I know you usually prefer something else in your mouth.”

Frost and Williams bend their knees and hoist Orochi in tandem. They hold him in the vertical suplex position for a few seconds, allowing the blood to rush to the Balancer’s already foggy mind. They finally throw him back to splat into the foot of the ramp!

Stevens: “Suplex to the steel ramp! Orochi is arching his back in severe pain.”

Riley: “They have to get him into the ring. It would not be unlike that wussy Hardcastle to toss the whole match out.”

The two men make their feet with Orochi still in their mitts. They lift him overhead in a Gorilla press with Frost under his chest and Danny in control of the legs. They carry him toward the ring like pallbearers and use their collective might to push him off and up! He hovers a few inches above the squared circle and comes down to clothesline the top rope! Orochi flips on the recoil to land in the ring and holds his throat, gagging and spitting!

Stevens: “OWE! A devastating move there! Williams and Frost slide in after, followed by the referee and the sound of the bell.”

DING DING DING

Frost scrambles to grab Orochi’s struggling form by the knees while Deathwish moves in position behind them. Frost rocks back to catapult the champion up and straight into a resounding Williams’ chop!

Riley: “That will knocked that cheap markered scribbles off his chest.”

The blow is so forceful that Orochi immediately falls back down while Williams spins around to gain his footing. Frost turns it into a sunset flip for the pin.

ONE

TWO

Stevens: “Danny Williams with a stomp to the neck to make the break! I don’t think Frost is too happy with that.”

Riley: “No sh*t!”

Frost spins to his feet and comes nose to nose with Williams. Danny narrows his eyes in an intense stare and Frost rises to his full height for extra intimidation, but there is no intimidating the man with a deathwish. Frost jabs a thumb at himself and then shoots a finger at Orochi still down on the canvas. Williams shakes his head ‘no’ and puts a thumb to his own chest. The two jaw at each other with building heat until the Icelandic Iceman’s flaming temper sparks to shove Danny back. The crowd ‘ooos’ and Danny returns the shove to send Frost skidding a few feet back.

Riley: “Play nice boys. What would daddy say?”

Stevens: “I think Daddy Flesher would throw weapons in the sandbox and tell them to have at it.”

Frost steps into Danny and slams him in the chest! He stumbles into the near ropes and ricochets off with a twist in an attempt to connect with a rolling elbow. Frost steps to the side like a matador. He extends his right arm and swings around for a spinning back fist to the side of Williams’ head. He catches it out of the corner of his eye and barely ducks under it. Frost finishes his 360 twirl and receives a stiff elbow strike in the ribs! Frost stumbles back, but sends out a right jab that catches Danny in the top of the forehead!

Stevens: “Both men are notorious hard strikers. One with his elbows and the other with his fists.”

Riley: “They can’t forget about Orochi though, because it’s at that moment where he’ll rise up an strike you like a proper villain.”

Danny does the best to shake off the shot, but the Velvet Hammer presses his advantage with a combo of hooks and jabs to drive Williams back. Deathwish buckles down to not show Frost any pain, while the big man holds still the burning in his side in similar fashion.

Stevens: “Frost is working Williams over in the corner like Muhammed Ali.”

Riley: “Or Super Macho Man on Glass Joe.”

Stevens: “True to your words Bobby, Orochi is making it to his feet, but still favoring his throat.”

Williams ducks and covers, looking for his spot. However, the blows continue to hammer down with no let up in sight. Orochi finally makes it vertical to a small pop from the crowd. He stealthily sneaks up behind the Icelandic punching machine and bends to go between his legs and take him on his shoulders. Frost’s feet leave the mat and his eyes grow wide in utter surpise. Orochi does not have the strength to lift the big man up far, but he makes it far enough before riding gravity down to the canvas.

Stevens: “Backdrop suplex! Frost was caught off guard by being overly focused on Williams.”

Riley: “I would say that Frost and Williams’ hatred for each other could cost them both here in letting Orochi creep out a win, but as I said earlier the Mag 7 is fine and there is no dissention in the ranks.”

Stevens: “I know you’d hate to admit it Bobby, but…”

Riley: (cups his hands over his ears and sings loudly) “These rose colored glasses that I’ve been looking through…”

Orochi rises up, but is knocked right back down with a flying elbow smash from Williams out of the corner! The competitors hit the mat, with Danny rolling over on top of the felled Frost for a series of mounted punches and elbows!

Stevens: “There’s more proof for you, Bobby. Williams takes Orochi down, but proceeds to go after Frost, leaving the champ to…”

Riley: “…Show only the beauty and hide all the truth…”

Orochi lies still for a second and then kips to his feet, eliciting another slight response from the fans. It’s obvious from his flushed form and body language that he is becoming a little peeved about being ignored by his foes. He plants his left leg, skips out the right and, with a flick of the knee, sends the toe of his boot into Danny’s nose with a crunch of cartilage.

Stevens: “Painful short range strike by Orochi! Danny falls rearward off of Frost, who appears out himself.”

Williams barrel rolls over to a sitting position while Orochi sprints to the far ropes. He pops to the first strand and springboards off with a twist. He folds his knee back and drives into the base of Williams skull! He collapses on his face to a slightly larger pop from the fans.

Riley: “Maybe now we can get some proper order restored. Orochi can fight Williams, Frost can fight Orochi, but Frost and Williams can’t fight each other.”

Orochi rolls Danny over and flops on top of him while hooking his leg.

ONE

TWO

Williams kicks out with authority! Orochi goes with the push to fly up to his feet. He turns from an odd feeling behind him and is floored by a hellacious diving clothesline that sends both he and Frost reeling to the canvas.

Stevens: “HELL FREEZES OVER!”

ONE

TWO

Williams saves with an elbow to the nape of the neck. He brushes the shocked Frost off and lateral presses Orochi.

ONE

TWO

Stevens: “Williams tried to steal the pinfall, but Orochi kicks out.”

Riley: “This match is almost specifically designed to set Williams and Frost at odds. What was the Suicide King thinking?”

Stevens: “This is how the booking fell after the number one contender matches on Lockdown, although it wouldn’t surprise me if he had a little ‘Superior’ fly buzzing in his ear to make those matches.”

Frost scales the ropes like the rungs of a ladder to his feet. Both Williams and Orochi rocket up with Danny keeping the champ off balanced with a quick elbow to the chest. He remembers the throat from earlier and starts chopping on that to drive Orochi into the corner.

Riley: “Superior fly? Isn’t that the same thing as a Brazilian fruit beetle?”

Orochi slouches in the corner and Williams leans down to put a hand between his legs and secures the other on his chest. He brings Orochi out of the corner with a scoop slam and he lands with a thud on his back. Danny wastes no time in hopping up to the second rope and turning to face the ring.

Stevens: “A scoop slam lines Orochi up for the second rope knee drop.”

Riley: “He better drop it fast before he gets dropped.”

The crowd roars as Frost steps into frame and reaches up to collar Williams around the throat with one of his powerful paws. Frost steadies Danny with a hand on his back. Williams tries to fight back, but can only grip Frost’s wrist and hang on for dear life as he is jerked off the turnbuckle and turned around to go crashing into the canvas with a reverberating smash!

Stevens: “CHOKESLAM! Frost pulled Williams off the second rope with a smoking chokeslam! Could this finish it?”

ONE!

TWO!

THR-

Frost rises his head as his senses buzz and is knocked off of Williams with a high leg clothesline from the still battling champion!

Stevens: “Orochi makes the save this time to protect his precious belt.”

Riley: “I dare say that Danny will be out of this for some time. Which is fine by me in some respects, so he and Frosty can’t fight.”

Orochi pulls the already climbing Frost up fully and sends him into the ropes. He skips over Williams motionless form, takes the strands in the back, and hops over him again as he heads toward Orochi. The ex-Clan member links arms with Frost as he nears, but he grapevines Orochi’s leg and uses the leverage to twist to the side before the flipping armdrag can be snapped off. Frost readjusts the linked arms into a half nelson and bounds forward to crush Orochi’s face into the turf!

Stevens: “Half nelson bulldog to counter the flipping armdrag! Frost is firing on four cylinders tonight!”

Riley: “Eight cylinders.”

Frost pulls Orochi up by his shoulder and gives him a short arm Irish whip to the near corner. He ricochets out on the strike and Frost expertly hooks him with an upturned facelock and drops down with an inverted DDT!

Stevens: “Eight?”

Riley: “With all that ice and snow everyone in Iceland drives a Hummer.”

Riley: “Please add ‘hummer’ to the list of words I don’t want you saying.”

Frost sits on the mat and shoots a glance at the just starting to move Williams. He jiggles his head, wanting to deliver more punishment, but realizes that he must act now for a chance at the win.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-

Stevens: “SHOULDER UP! Hardcastle signals the two count to Frost and he’s livid.”

The raging beast quickly rips Orochi to his feet. He snakes an arm under Orochi left and around to palm the back of his head. He brings his other arm over and takes Orochi’s wrist.

Riley: “Cobra clutch slam!”

Stevens: “Not so fast!”

Orochi takes a page out of Frost’s book and grapevines legs with him. The Balancer is held fast as Frost tries to hoist him and Orochi uses the leverage to spin behind. He scores a rear waistlock and doesn’t give Frost a second to react before slinging him high overhead with a German suplex! He takes all his might to secure the bridge, but it just might also secure the win.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

At the last second, Williams turns to grabs Frost’s limp wrists and pulls him forward to collapse the bridge!

Stevens: “Danny just saved the pin! Orochi squeezes out from under Frost’s bulk and looks to take some aggression out on the interloper.”

Riley: “I’ll enter your loper.”

Stevens: “You don’t even know what that means.”

Riley: “So?”

Williams stumbles up as Orochi nears with all guns blazing. He hooks a front waistlock and tucks his head under Danny’s left armpit. He bends his knees and flips Williams straight overhead! He arches his back on impact for the bridge.

Stevens: “NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!”

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

Frost grabs Orochi’s ankle and jerks it to break the pin!

Stevens: “This time Frost makes the save!”

Riley: “See, he and Williams are working together.”

Stevens: “Out of selfish motives.”

Riley: “THEY ARE WORKING TOGETHER!”

Frost yanks Orochi out from under Danny, but is greeted with a thumb to the throat. Frost grabs his neck while staying on his knees. Orochi scoots away from Frost and sends a double stomp into the solar plexus. Frost doubles over from the blow and Orochi finishes with bringing his right foot up into the man’s chin. Frost crumples to all fours and Orochi pops to his feet. Frost claws his way up Orochi’s pant leg, but the Japanese native keeps him grounded with an elbow to the back of the neck. Orochi reaches to underhook both of Frost’s arms and brings him up before slamming him down!

Stevens: “Double Arm DDT! The cover!”

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-

Riley: “FOOT ON THE ROPES! WAKE UP HARDCASTLE!”

Orochi obediently breaks his cover at the ref’s urging and stands. He looks down at Frost formulating a game plan, but an elbow smash to the rear rocks his mind!

Stevens: “Danny Williams on the attack! They fall into the near ropes and spring off…waistlock by Williams…RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!”

Orochi’s neck telescopes into his skull as he crams into the canvas. Williams stands and stares at Orochi with cool, yet fiery loathing. He slowly moves in for the kill, but is tripped up from behind and flops on his face!

Stevens: “Frost spills Williams by grabbing his ankle.”

Riley: “No one is getting a breather in this damn thing. Soon as someone hits a big move to take control, the other guy blindsides him. Now that’s wrestling!”

Frost keeps hold of the ankle as he stands and strings Williams up like a deer to be gutted. He slams the knee to the mat and starts ripping tendons and popping bones with an ankle lock.

Stevens: “Not something we usually see out of Frost, but he knows that Danny’s career was almost ended on an ankle injury in the JL.”

Riley: “Know about it? Hell, he helped cause it.”

Williams beats the mat and fights down the yelling of pain welling in his throat. He tries to pull toward the ropes, but no dice. He tries to nudge Orochi awake for help, but no dice. He kicks back with his free leg at Frost, but no dice. If Deathwish wants out of this one, he will have to roll a hard eight.

Stevens: “Frost is going to re-break that ankle!”

Riley: “Which would keep Danny out of Clusterfuck…uh…if Frost didn’t want him in there, but he does. I think all the Mag 7 guys will just settle for a tie.”

Stevens: “A battle royale ending in a tie?”

Riley: “Happened at Wrestlemania IV.”

Stevens: “Yeah, but then Bad News Brown murdered Bret Hart with a trophy and left him comatose in the ring.”

Riley: “THESE ROSE COLORED GLASSES…”

Williams finally lets loose a blood curdling scream, but not of pain, of determination. He slips to his side and rolls up and into Frost. He attempts to flip him over his head, but the deadweight is planted. Danny then kicks out his free foot to nail Frost in the crotch. He lets loose of the ankle with an ‘oomph’ and falls. Williams thrusts out his knees and Frost takes them in the stomach! He rolls to his back and the audience cheers not for Williams, but for Frost getting canned in the nuts.

Stevens: “Williams miraculously fights his way through.”

Riley: “It was ugly, but it worked. Unlike myself.”

Williams lies on his back and cradles his battered ankle. He broke in time to avoid any permanent damage, but the short term is going to be a killer. Frost makes his rear and slouches against the ropes fighting for air. Add Orochi starting to stir and the plot thickens anew.

Stevens: “So, you’re pretty yet useless.”

Riley: “……uh…yeah.”

Stevens: “Ok then. All minds are racing inside the squared circle. Every man has taken his lumps and come back for more. This could come down to who can act here the fastest.”

Riley: “And the hardest.”

Frost shifts to the near corner and pulls himself up by the top rope. Orochi stands as Frost rises and flies on instinct alone to land a spear in the corner! Orochi leans up to strike, but is rocked by an enzui lariat from Williams to the back of the cranium! Orochi stumbles back and Danny helps him down with an armdrag. He pops up to face Frost and leaps into the air for his Dynamite kick! His foot plows into Frost’s face, but not all the crunching is the big man’s skull. Some is Danny’s bad ankle and he goes down like a sack of stones.

Stevens: “Williams overestimated himself there. He used that tortured ankle to deliver the Dynamite kick.”

Riley: “The more I think about it the more tortured I am. I want everybody to win and nobody to lose. I HATE this match.”

Stevens: “Maybe the Suicide King doesn’t love you as much as you think.”

Riley: “Blasphemer!”

Frost shakes the cobwebs loose and looks down at Danny with Orochi making his feet right next to him. Frost steps backwards up the turnbuckles to the second rope and hops off with a knee drop to the bad ankle. He rolls his bulky form off of Williams and takes his knees in front of Orochi. Startled by the sudden appearance, Orochi tries to fire down a punch but is cutoff by a hell of a hook shot to the side of the chest!

Stevens: “TOUCH OF FROST! OROCHI IS REELING! WILLIAMS IS DOWNED!”

Riley: “STEVENS IS SCREAMING! RILEY NEEDS A HEARING AIDE!”

Orochi staggers backwards, his whole system paralyzed from the heart punch. Frost makes his feet and wraps an arm across Orochi’s chest and tucks his hand under his armpit.

Stevens: “FROST SETS UP THE ICE SHELF!”

Frost hoists Orochi off the mat and spins to bring him away from the corner. He spies the still prone form of Williams and decides to slam Orochi on top of his other opponent. However, Danny rolls out of the way and Orochi is left to trampoline off the canvas.

Stevens: “Williams is working his way up by the ropes. Frost charges!”

His boiling rage throws Frost off his gameplan as Williams has more gas left in the tank than he imagines. Frost looks to clothesline Danny, but he ducks under and leads into Frost with his shoulder. He pushes up with all of his steroided might and tosses Frost head over heels out to the floor!

Stevens: “BACKDROP TO THE OUTSIDE! Frost clocked his head on the concrete and isn’t moving!”

Riley: “Maybe he’ll develop amnesia and forget that Danny attacked him”

Williams falls down and holds his ankle, from the weight pressed on it by getting Frost out of the ring. He slips a gaze over the edge of the apron lip to see Frost out cold and turns his attention to Orochi. Still cut down by the Ice Shelf, Williams lays a wispy arm over his chest for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-

Stevens: “KICK OUT!”

Riley: “Although there’s not much left to kick for either man.”

They lay motionless for a second, but realize that action must be taken now. Both men roll to their sides and start up slowly. Orochi gets up first and catches Williams with a facelock, looking for a snap suplex. Danny deftly does a standing switch into a waistlock. Orochi fires back an elbow to break, but Williams ducks and spins around for a front waistlock. He lifts Orochi straight off the mat and high above his shoulders before he realizes what is happening.

Stevens: “DEATHBOMB!”

Riley: “NO! THE ANKLE!”

The ankle gives way and Williams plummets to the mat with Orochi on top, who turns the move into a sitdown splash. Orochi relies on his surging adrenaline to make his feet and pulls Williams up by the sides of his head. He turns to place the back of Danny’s head on his shoulder and stretches his arm to cup the chin.

Riley: “PIERCING LIGHT!”

Stevens: “NO! THE ANKLE BE DAMNED!”

Williams, not the most agile of men can do what he needs to as one of the most resilient. He reaches back his own arms to hook Orochi’s chin for support and then kicks off the back of his legs to flip over his head and land on his feet. He winces from a twinge of anguish and that is all Orochi needs to salvage the situation by keeping that chin on his shoulder and cracking off a reverse Ace Crusher!

Stevens: “Devastating move! The Reverse Ace Crusher has Williams down. Orochi…he’s…he’s…HEADING FOR THE TOP ROPE!”

Riley: “He might have Williams weak enough for the Piercing Light, but with his frequent countering, going for a move hard to counter might be a good idea. Although Frost did counter it over a week ago.”

Stevens: “And that was because Orochi was the one in that encounter with the worked upon ankle.”

Riley: (singing) “It’s the circle…the circle of life.”

Orochi climbs the ropes with sure-footed speed and perches on high. The crowd pops as he readies himself and looks over his shoulder to wait for Deathwish to struggle up. With his eyes fixed on his intended target, he misses Frost finally scraping his way up by the ring skirt. Frost peers up to see Orochi on the edge of takeoff and shoots out a hand, but he is too far away and too late. Williams wobbles drunkenly to his feet and that is the cue for this Japanese bird to take flight. He somersaults over with Olympic grace and snags Williams’ head as he soars at him with pinpoint precision. He twists around as Williams pops up to meet him and the US Champion is facebustered into oblivion by the ICTV Champion.

Stevens: “SCUM GALE! ALL HE HAS TO DO IS MAKE THE COVER!”

Riley: “FROST IS CLIMBING THE TURNBUCKLES From THE OUTSIDE!”

The mammoth frozen monster ascends the ropes with less than the easy grace of Orochi. Orochi’s mind does the quick math to see if he could score the win over Williams before Frost could strike from on high with whatever he is planning. Determining the margins razor thin, he makes his feet and advances. Frost digs deep for a hidden burst of speed he is known to muster to finish his climb and leap off in one swift motion. Orochi’s eyes widen at the sinewy extended arm heading for him. He tries to arch back and let Frost soar past him, but that is a plan with no success. Frost slams into Orochi with the force of a catapulted boulder and he flips into the air with a 450 somersault to make the execution of the scum gale look like child’s play.

Stevens: “TOP ROPE CLOTHESLINE! A rare move for Frost, but not one we haven’t seen before from him in the big matches and this is the biggest he’s ever had.”

Riley: “Williams is still dead! Frost covers!”

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING

Funyon: “Here is your winner and NEW SWF ICTV Champion. The Velvet Hammer… FRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!”

Frost slides off of Orochi and rises to his feet while holding the back of his head from the spill to the outside. Hardcastle attempts to raise his arm in victory, but Frost pushes him away and makes a beeline for the timekeeper’s table.

Stevens: “An impressive win for the Icelandic Iceman. He wins his biggest singles title to date and is a double champion.”

Riley: “Holding the tag belts with Tom Flesher and I’m sure the Superior One is happy for Frost in his way.”

Stevens: “‘In his way’ could be very cryptic words as far as those two’s crumbling relationship is concerned. Although stated before the match by you Bobby, this does take Frost out of the World title picture and might placate him for a time.”

Frost picks up his tag title from the table and straps it around his waist, more of an afterthought to keep it out of his way than anything else. He holds up a second belt, sees that it is the US title, the belt belonging to the despised Danny Williams, and smacks it down with a thud. The ring attendant tries to help, but she is barked away. Garbage and debris fly at Frost from all sides, though he pays it no heed. He takes the ICTV Title in his arms and holds it to his chest. He closes his eyes with relief washing his features. He hoists the belt overhead and turns to all four sides of the arena so the jeering masses can get a good look at the new master of the ICTV ranks.

Stevens: “I think I can reveal now that rumors have Orochi taking a sabbatical for an undetermined length of time, although I know that Danny Williams will soon get another title shot.”

Riley: “I don’t want to talk about them fighting. Let’s muse on rosier situations such as HVT and ELM fighting next.”

Stevens: “The difference being they are the best of friends while I think Frost and Williams will always be the best of enemies.”

Frost is still celebrating as the scene fades to black.

January 18, 2003

“UNO!”

BOOM!!

“DOS!”

BOOM!!

“TRES!”

BOOM!!

“CUATRO!”

BOOM!!

Maybe it’s the Spanish numbers, or maybe it’s the huge pyro that shoots from each turnbuckle after each number, or maybe it’s “Mission Trip To Mexico” by Bunch of Believers blasting through the speakers…but the fans inside the Joe Louis Arena are cheering like mad as Smarkdown returns to the airwaves. If that wasn’t enough, the fans go absolutely mad as El Luchadore Magnifico bursts from behind the curtain onto the stage and begins waving his Mexican flag overhead with his world title belt shining nicely around his waist.

(Stevens) – It’s main event time people, and like we’ve been saying all night, it’s a doozy! Current SWF World Champion, El Luchadore Magnifico, is taking on his new ally and former SWF champion, the Hville Thugg! What a match up this will be, eh Bobby?

(Riley) – Perhaps.

(Funyon) – The following no-disqualification contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first…weighing in at 193 pounds…from Mexico City…he is the SWF World Heavyweight Champion…EL LUUUUUUUUCHADORE MADNIIIIIIIIIFICO!!

As he is announced, ELM reaches the ring and slides in. Once inside, the kooky luchadore hops up to the second turnbuckle and begins waving his flag wildly as the fans cheer him on.

Darkness fills the arena…

“Muwhahahaha…”

Cheers erupt from the crowd as the familiar electric guitar pounds the hip-hop beat through the ears of those in attendance. A red hue fills the arena…

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be!”

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be!”

“What they don’t know is…”

BOOM!!

The explosion of music, fire, and cheers rocks the foundation of the Joe Louis Arena, and leaves a wall of fire on the stage. Amongst the smoke and fire, HVT steps out onto the stage to a huge ovation, his black towel covering his face as it drapes over his head.

(Funyon) – And his opponent…weighing in at 386 pounds…from Washington, DC…THE H-VIIIIILLLLLEEEE THUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGG!!!

Upon hearing his name, Thugg marches slowly to the ring, his swagger of confident thug-life keeping the fans in fits as he tosses his towel into the crowd. Thugg approaches the ring, reaches up to the top rope, and pulls himself up to the apron, where he steps over the top rope into the ring.

(Stevens) – This should be damn good match I think. From what we saw earlier, there’s not much hostility here, just some all-round good wrestling entertainment.

(Riley) – I will concede that two accomplished wrestlers like Magnifico and Thugg should put on one helluva show here tonight…

DING DING DING

Ready for action, Thugg and ELM come to the center of the ring where they begin to talk friendly smack to one another. After some banter, the two touch fists and step away from one another, and both begin to circle the ring looking for an opening.

(Stevens) – And here we go…

ELM feints a charge, but quickly backs out of it, giving Thugg a hearty smirk for which Thugg points in return. Thugg copies the fake charge, also drawing back and smiling at ELM.

(Riley) – Ummm…ok, are they going to do this all night?

ELM darts in quickly, but Thugg is ready and goes to grab him…but Magnifico is just too damn fast. He dives between Thugg’s legs and stands up behind the big man, giving him a slight push from behind that gets Thugg’s attention. Thugg turns around and ELM gives him that smirk once again, and Thugg nods in kind.

(Riley) – Jesus!! What is this crap?!?

(Stevens) – HAHAHAHA! This is cool…just showing off what they got. It’s kind of cool, and the fans like it.

The combatants circle each other for a moment before ELM darts in again, and when Thugg swings his mammoth arm at ELM, the luchadore’s ducks underneath and runs to the far ropes. Thugg turns around to take the offensive on ELM, but Magnifico is already upon him, and once again dives between Thugg’s legs, pops up, and gives the big man a shove in the back and a smile.

(Riley) – Bastards! They’re making a mockery of the main event…what is this crap?!?

(Stevens) – Oh come on Bobby, have a sense of humor.

Thugg nods, “ok” to ELM and then begins to walk towards the champion, pointing to his chin in a daring manner.

(Stevens) – Hahahaha. Thugg is daring ELM to give him his best shot…

ELM looks out at the crowd, who encourage him, and then gives Thugg a hard right to the jaw. The DC native barely even flinches and starts to laugh at the blow. The fans laugh along with Thugg, and ELM gives the punch another try.

(Stevens) – Oh…that’s funny. That’s two punches from Magnifico and Thugg’s just laughing. That’s pretty embarrassing if you ask me…

ELM gives Thugg another hard shot that draws the same result from the no-selling bastard of the SWF. Thugg then gives ELM the “hold on” sign, and a close up view shows Thugg telling ELM, “Here, let me show you.” ELM nods, and Thugg draws back his right hand and throws a slug at ELM, but Magnifico dives out of the way in a semi-cowardly fashion. The crowd has a good laugh, as does Thugg and ELM, but Riley seems to be slightly annoyed by the whole ordeal.

(Riley) – I’m sorry, but this is crap. Where’s the high flyin’ and hard hittin? I didn’t pay for this!

Thugg tells ELM to hold still so he can show him the punch, and ELM agrees, but dives out of the way again, drawing more laughter from the crowd.

(Stevens) – Uhhhh, Bobby. You didn’t pay at all. You’re getting paid to be here, remember?

(Riley) – I still want my money back.

Inside the ring, Thugg finally convinces ELM to stand put, reaches back, and slams a hard right hand to ELM’s head. The blow drops Magnifico like a sack of bricks, and the fans let out a collective “Oh!”

(Stevens) – NOW! That’s a punch!

HVT steps back to the middle of the ring and holds his arms out as the fans shower him with applause for his magnificent punch. ELM gets to his feet slowly, and Thugg grabs him by the arm, whips him to the far ropes, and then drives a thigh into ELM’s stomach. ELM flips over Thugg’s thigh and lands hard on the canvas, and Thugg goes for the quick pin.

(Stevens) – Wait…Thugg with the cover.

ONE…

(Stevens) – NO. Magnifico with a quick kickout.

HVT stands up, and so does ELM, as the crowd enjoys the laid back nature of the match thus far. Thugg grabs ELM on his way up and whips him to the far left corner, and Magnifico slams back first into the turnbuckle.

(Riley) – Ok, here we go…

Thugg runs in behind ELM, and once close enough, Thugg jumps in the air, looking to slam into ELM. Magnifico, however, dives to the side, and Thugg misses him completely, his chin slamming into the top turnbuckle. While Thugg holds his chin, ELM backs away from the corner and begins to work the crowd by pumping his fist in the air.

(Stevens) – Thugg misses the splash, and now Magnifico is working the crowd. This is certainly a different way to approach a big main event match.

(Riley) – It’s stupid, that’s what it is.

Thugg turns around, having recovered from his aching chin, but when he does, ELM lands a standing Dropkick into his chin, sending the big man back a step. Magnifico jumps up quickly, and begins motioning for the fans to get up out of their seats. The fans respond in the manner ELM hoped, and Magnifico runs back to the near ropes, bounces off, returns to Thugg, and attempts to knock the big man down with a jumping clothesline.

(Stevens) – Magnifico with a clothesline, trying to take Thugg down.

The fans cheer as HVT merely sways from the blow, and then ELM bounces off the ropes again, and hits another clothesline. Thugg steps back closer to the far ropes, and ELM performs running clothesline again. The fans really rally behind ELM as he bounces of the near ropes and runs towards Thugg. However, this time, Thugg goes to halt Magnifico’s progress with a clothesline, but ELM ducks under the blow. Instead of bouncing off the far ropes, ELM jumps up to the top rope, leaps backwards, turns his body, and drives his feet into Thugg’s chin, finally dropping the big man to his back!!

(Stevens) – Finally!! He did it! Magnifico took Thugg down!

(Riley) – It only took an hour of my life…geez.

ELM jumps up, does a backflip, and lands in a split, leaving the fans in a frenzy as they enjoy the kooky display.

(Riley) – This is just sad.

After his little number, ELM dives atop Thugg for the cover, but before he can even get a one count, Thugg launches ELM into the air and away from him. Both men get to their feet rather quickly, and start to talk to one another again. They gesture to each other as if to say, “Ok, let’s get down to business.”

HVT lunges out for a huge punch, but ELM ducks under and comes out behind Thugg. HVT turns around, and ELM gives him several hard chops to the chest that draw an “Oooo” from the crowd and staggers HVT back to the left ropes. ELM tries to whip the 386-pounder, but Thugg quickly reverses and whips ELM to the right-side ropes. HVT tries to grab the rebounding ELM, but Magnifico dives between Thugg’s legs once again. ELM jumps up and throws his foot towards Thugg’s head for a Superkick when the big man turns around, but Thugg alertly catches Magnifico’s foot. ELM hops on one foot for a moment before Thugg throws ELM’s foot around towards the left, spinning the luchadore all the way around so that Magnifico faces Thugg again. ELM, using his quickness, drives his shoulder into Thugg and tries to push him back towards the middle of the ring. Thugg takes one step backwards, and then uses his power to gutwrench ELM up for a Powerbomb! The fans cheer for the counters, but a bit too soon because when Thugg gets ELM up, Magnifico grabs Thugg’s head, and drops his weight down, slamming Thugg’s head between his legs with a Mat Slam (X-Factor)!!!

(Stevens) – What a series!! Magnifico comes out on top of that exchange, and Magnifico with the cover!

ONE!

TWO…

(Stevens) – NO! Thugg powers out, but that’s gotta be a kind of moral victory for ELM. Even though he won their last encounter, Thugg has had Magnifico’s number for a long time.

(Riley) – Yeah, Magnifico lost like 3 or 4 in a row before that win two months ago, and that was Thugg’s first match back from injury.

Thugg gets to his feet while holding his head, and ELM goes to grab him by the head, but Thugg sends ELM’s arms flying off and scores with a hard right hand that staggers the champ. ELM stammers back towards the far ropes with each hard punch, and Thugg takes him down with a Short-arm Clothesline!

(Stevens) – And Thugg’s back on the offensive, using his impressive power and strength to take the advantage here in the early going.

ELM holds the back of his head and rolls on the canvas for a moment while Thugg shakes the cobwebs loose. ELM starts to rise, and Thugg aids the luchadore, but when ELM gets to his feet, Thugg keeps him slowed by driving a thigh into his stomach. With ELM still stunned, HVT grabs him into a front face lock, glances out at the crowd, and then lifts ELM into a suplex. However, instead of executing the full maneuver, HVT holds ELM in the air, and many of the fans in attendance take pictures of the feat.

(Stevens) – What strength by Thugg! Magnifico’s a little guy, but it takes sheer power to hold a man upside down like that. But, this can’t be good for Magnifico, as all the blood is rushing to his head.

(Riley) – Maybe he’ll pass out and we’ll have a short match, huh?

After about 15 seconds, Thugg falls backwards, and ELM’s back hits the canvas hard!

(Stevens) – And Thugg with the Stalling Suplex that’s bound to take a lot out of anybody…THUGG WITH THE COVER!

ONE!

TWO…

(Stevens) – NO! Magnifico gets his shoulder up, but despite his early success, the world champion is in a good deal of trouble right now. Once Thugg gets rollin’, he’s hard to stop.

Thugg gets to his feet, also helping Magnifico to his, and then whips ELM to the near left corner. Magnifico lands back first into the turnbuckle with a thud, but has little chance to recover as Thugg has followed him in, and sandwiches him against the turnbuckle with a splash.

(Riley) – Ooooo!

(Stevens) – Geez. That’s close to 400 pounds of force slamming into Magnifico’s 193 pound frame.

Thugg scores with a back elbow to keep Magnifico reeling, and then pull the luchadore out of the corner to whip him to the far ropes. ELM rebounds off the ropes and runs at Thugg, but ELM alertly ducks a big boot from Thugg. Before Thugg can turn around, ELM bounces off the near ropes, and then jumps on Thugg’s back with his arms around Thugg’s neck for some sort of Sleeper Hold.

(Stevens) – Hmmm. What do you think about this strategy Bobby? I guess maybe Thugg can’t get him there, and maybe he can wear the big man down with a Sleeper?

Thugg waves his arms about trying to swipe at the annoying speck on his back, but can’t seem to reach him. Running short on breath, Thugg nearly drops to one knee as ELM tries to suck the life from his body, but before ELM can benefit from such a tactic, Thugg staggers to the center of the ring and simply falls backwards!!

(Riley) – Hmmmm…lemme think…no.

(Stevens) – Smart move by Thugg. He couldn’t reach Magnifico, so he just simply landed on the little guy.

HVT gets up holding his throat a bit and trying to catch his breath. Once ready, Thugg grabs the crushed ELM to his feet and walks him over near the right corner, where he takes ELM’s head and slams it into the turnbuckle violently. HVT turns his new friend around so they are facing one another, draws back his huge paw, and…

SLAP!

“Oooo!”

…gives ELM a loud open-hand slap to the chest!

SLAP!

“Oooo!”

(Stevens) – JESUS!! That sound brings back so many memories…I’m telling you Bobby, you haven’t been chopped or slapped until you’ve had it done by Thugg! I think I still have bruises from when he slapped me.

(Riley) – Baby.

SLAP!

“Oooo!”

After ELM’s chest is bloody red, Thugg pulls him from the corner and whips him to the far ropes. This time, ELM runs back aimlessly, and Thugg smacks him in the face with a Big Boot! ELM drops like a sack, and HVT quickly bounces off the right side ropes, and drops a huge leg across ELM’s throat!!

(Stevens) – And there’s Thugg with that Big Boot/Leg Drop combo he’s become so fond of lately, and Magnifico is in bad shape right now. Thugg with the cover!!

ONE…

TWO…

THREE…

(Stevens) – NO!! Magnifico gets his shoulder up just in time!! Very close there…

HVT gets to his feet, and the fans start to really try to rally the SWF World Champion. Thugg takes a quick look out at the fans, and then grabs ELM to help him rise. However, with a burst of speed, ELM grabs the top of Thugg’s head as he rises, and then just drops down to his knees, bouncing Thugg’s chin off the top of his head!!

(Stevens) – Jawbreaker from the champ!! And Magnifico is trying to mount something here!!

HVT staggers about the ring holding his chin, and when he walks back into ELM’s range, the kooky luchadore pushes up on Thugg’s shoulders and wraps his legs around the big man’s head. The fans cheer like mad for the underdog, but when ELM leans backwards the execute the Hurricarana, he can’t seem to budge the still relatively fresh Thugg. Instead, HVT pulls ELM back up, and then folds him up like a accordion on the canvas with a huge Powerbomb!!!

(Stevens) – OH! Magnifico’s comeback thwarted by Thugg’s raw power! And once again, the champ has to think about how to get out of this match, because…THIS COULD BE IT! THUGG WITH THE COVER!

ONE…

TWO…

THREEEEEEEEEE…

(Stevens) – NO!! What heart from the champ!! He barely gets his shoulder up!!

(Riley) – This has got to be rather frustrating for Thugg because he can’t seem to put the little guy away. He’s like a damn cockroach.

HVT takes a glance at the referee, perhaps accusing him of a slow count, and then lifts the Carnie to his feet. Thugg, directly in the center of the ring, performs the most basic of moves and just scoops ELM up and slams him to the canvas.

(Stevens) – Hmmmm. Don’t see many of those these days.

ELM lays on the canvas, and Thugg falls 7’2” and drops a heavy elbow right into the ELM’s sternum. The fans feel ELM’s pain as HVT stands up and drops a similar elbow, and then gets up and drops the elbow once more!

(Stevens) – Thugg with those elbow drops. Must be…WAIT! THUGG WITH THE COVER…

ONE…

TWO…

(Stevens) – NO! Magnifico gets his shoulder up!

Thugg jumps up and lets out a very frustrated sigh before dropping more elbows on his opponent, and then jumping in for another pin, this time, with a very tense and frustrated look on his face.

ONE…

TWO…

THRE…

(Stevens) – NO! Magnifico kicks out again, and Thugg is really getting frustrated with Magnifico, and the referee to some extent.

(Riley) – He IS wearing his opponent down though, so that’s good…

(Stevens) – I don’t think he’s interested in wearing anyone down. I think Thugg wants to finish this now…

After slapping the mat in frustration, Thugg remembers the no-dq stipulation and slides out of the ring on the far side. He heads over to the timekeeper and forces the frail man from his chair. Thugg snatches the chair up slams it closed, while the fans cheer their heads off.

(Stevens) – Oh shoot! Look out!

Thugg turns around to take his new weapon into the ring, but when he faces the ring, ELM (who is now up) jumps to the top rope in the middle, and then leaps out towards Thugg. In midair, ELM turns his body, and then slams chest to chest with the massive Thugg, who drops the chair before both men go crashing to the floor!!

(Stevens) – Crossing the Border!! Magnifico with one of his death defying moves, and he stops Thugg’s momentum cold!

(Riley) – I can’t imagine that Magnifico is ok after that though…he’s gotta be hurt a lot too.

(Stevens) – Yes, that may be…but he stopped Thugg from bringing that chair into the ring, and given the state of things, that would NOT have been good for the world champ, I can tell you that.

Both men are down on the outside as the fans start up a “HOLY SHIT” chant from ELM’s high-flying heroics. Both men start to rise at the same time, Thugg just slightly ahead of ELM. Magnifico, however, is near the steel chair, which he grabs on his way up. One to their feet, ELM tosses the chair to Thugg, who instinctively catches the metal object, and ELM’s plan works like a charm. As Thugg catches the chair, ELM steps to the side, and drives his foot into the chair and into Thugg’s head with a big time Superkick!!

(Stevens) – What a Superkick from Magnifico!! And back comes the champion, after having been dominated for so much of this match!!

HVT staggers back from the blow, holding his head and dropping the chair, and as Thugg stumbles back towards the crowd barrier, ELM charges him. The cheering of the crowd isn’t enough for ELM though because when he reaches HVT, Thugg reaches down, presses the luchadore over his head, and then drops him face first onto the crowd barrier!

(Riley) – Looks like you spoke too soon Mark. Thugg’s just too much for Magnifico tonight.

The crowd sighs as ELM bounces straight up from the shot, where HVT grabs his arm and whips him…

CLANG!!

…into to the steel steps. ELM, turning on impact, takes the brunt of the blow on his back and shoulders, but it’s enough to put ELM down for some time.

(Stevens) – OH! What a shot into those steel ring steps!

After shaking off the chair shots, Thugg lifts ELM and rolls the champ back into the ring. Once inside, ELM immediately tries to get to his feet, and the fans are itching to get behind him for a comeback. HVT slides into the ring after ELM, but when he gets to his feet, ELM wraps his legs around Thuggs, tripping him face first to the canvas with a Drop Toe Hold. Just as Thugg hits the mat, ELM reaches up and grabs Thugg’s face and starts to pull back Crossface style!

(Stevens) – SANGRIA STRETCH!! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!! MAGNIFICO’S GOT THE SANGRIA STRETCH LOCKED IN ON THUGG, AND THIS MAY BE YOUR TURNING POINT HERE!!

(Riley) – Do you think we could see the almighty Thugg tap out here?

(Stevens) – He just might Bobby!!

ELM pulls and pulls, and HVT holds his right hand in the air as to not have it mistaken for tapping! The referee is bombarding Thugg with questions about quitting, and HVT keeps screaming out “NO” as the fans really cheer their heads off.

(Riley) – He might not have much of a choice if Magnifico keeps this on much longer.

Thugg, realizing what Riley has, uses his strength to try to get out of this predicament. He uses both hands to push up off the canvas, and while ELM yanks back on his head, HVT turns both of them so that they face the far ropes. Out of complete desperation, Thugg reaches out with both hands and grabs the nearby far ropes, and the fans let out a somewhat disappointed sigh!

(Stevens) – He can’t use the ropes, can he?

The fans cheers are rejuvenated when the referee slides over and screams to Thugg that there’s no rope break in a no-dq match! Dejected as can be, Thugg continues to hold onto the ropes for dear life as ELM screeches while trying to rip Thugg’s head off his shoulders.

“Do you give up?”

“NO!! FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!”

“You give up Thugg?”

“AARRRGGGGHHHH!! NO!!”

Thugg’s mind wanders to the concept of tapping, but instead, takes a page from his old-school ways, reaches back, and pokes a thumb right in ELM’s eye!

(Riley) – OH! Thumb to the eye! The oldest trick in the book! I should’ve known.

The trickery makes Thugg even less endearing to the fans, who actually start to boo a little as ELM releases the hold to tend to his now red eye. With the pain stinging in his back and neck, HVT starts to crawl away, not far from the far left corner. The big man starts to stammer to his feet, while ELM gets to his slowly as well.

(Stevens) – I really thought Magnifico had him there, but you gotta hand it to Thugg. He realized that his brute strength wouldn’t’ get him out of that situation, so he used his brain.

The fans calm down slightly, waiting to see if HVT will regain control, but they are forced right back out of their seats as ELM gets up while Thugg is struggling to regain his composure. ELM stumbles over to the weary Thugg, drives a boot into his gut, locks him in a front face lock, and then drives his head to the canvas with a huge DDT!!

(Stevens) – DDT!! DDT FROM MAGNIFICO!!

The fans may be cheering for the DDT, but they lose their minds as ELM slowly walks over to the far left corner, and once there, Magnifico pulls himself up to the top ropes. The fans are explosive, looking for Magnifico to put Thugg away here…

(Stevens) – OH! HE’S GOING FOR IT! BOBBY, IF HE HITS THIS, IT’S ALL OVER…IF HE HITS THE MEXICAN PRIDE PRESS…

ELM stands upright on the top turnbuckle, looking out at Thugg, who lays on his back not too far away. ELM looks left, then right, and then the world champion takes to the air. As ELM soars through a sea of flash photography, he flips backwards, losing sight of Thugg for just a second. When ELM regains sight of Thugg, his eyes grow wide as dinner plates, and when he lands, the fans’ spirits drop as Magnifico bounces off Thugg’s raised knees!!

(Riley) – Jumping to those conclusions again Mark? Looks like this one’s not quite over yet because Thugg got his knees up, and Magnifico landed right on them!

(Stevens) – What a heads up play for Thugg! It was a desperate move, but it got the job done!

ELM immediately bounces up to his feet and holds his stomach in great pain, before falling back to the canvas to better nurse his injuries. Thugg, also pain-riddled, is on the canvas too, and now that fans pick up their excitement while both men try to get to their feet.

(Stevens) – Now it’s a race to see who will get up first, because who ever makes it to their feet first will have the advantage here.

Both men start to rise at the same time, but the faster of the 2, ELM, gets to his feet about a fraction of a second before Thugg does, which allows him to score with two sharp right to Thugg’s head when he rises. However, as shown earlier in the match, the punches don’t faze Thugg, who darts out with his right hand and…

SLAP!

…smacks on a one-handed choke!

(St evens) – HOLY CRAP! Those punches didn’t even faze Thugg, and now he’s looking for that devastating Untamed!

The fans cheer as Thugg lifts ELM in the air with one arm, however, they cheer even louder when ELM wiggles out of Thugg’s grasp and slides down his back! Thugg, confused, doesn’t have time to react before ELM locks in for a backslide, and the fans go apeshit when ELM starts to run up the far left turnbuckle, which they happen to still be near!

(Stevens) – UNTAMED…NO! COUNTERED…

As Mark nearly ejaculates, ELM runs up the turnbuckle, flips over Thugg’s head, but Thugg breaks ELM’s grasp of his arms, the a slight shove is all Thugg needs to send ELM far enough away as to not grab Thugg’s head!

(Stevens) – BAJA CALIFORNIA CRUSHER…NO! COUTNERED!

ELM stumbles backwards towards the center of the ring to regain his balance, and HVT, still weary, staggers after him. Once they meet, ELM goes for yet another punch that lands clean, this one doing enough to halt Thugg’s progress. A second punch from ELM is blocked by Thugg, who buries his own punch in the side of Magnifico’s head! Thugg whips ELM to the left side ropes, but when ELM rebounds, he ducks a boot from Thugg. The fans are popping as ELM picks up speed by bouncing off the right side ropes, but as Thugg looks to grab ELM, the world champion displays a great deal of agility and actually hurdles the 7’2” Thugg, a feat that draws many a gasp from both the crowd and the announce table.

(Stevens & Riley) – HOLY SHIT!

ELM gains full speed as he, again, bounces off the left side ropes…

…and Thugg uses that speed against him as he catches ELM, lifts him up, and throws him down hard to the canvas with a Bearhug Front Slam!!!

(Stevens) – ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? WHAT IMPACT!! MAGNIFICO WITH THE AGILE MOVE, BUT THUGG’S POWER IS JUST TOO DAMN MUCH!!!

(Riley) – You’re tellin’ me? You could feel that impact all the way down here.

A weary Thugg takes a few moments to collect his breath, and the fans explode as Thugg stands over the down ELM and drags his thumb across his own throat!

(Stevens) – The throat slash! That can only mean one thing!

HVT reaches down and brings the near dead ELM to his feet, and presses the 193-pounder up over his head. Tens of thousands of flash bulbs go off, and the fans cheer their heads off as HVT stands with ELM for just a moment, his back to the ramp. Just as the fans’ cheers turn to loud boos, HVT turns ELM to face outward, and then slams ELM’ head and neck first to the mat as in a Michinochu Driver!

(Stevens) – LAST STAND!! LAST STAND!! THUGG HIT IT!! IT’S OVER…THUGG HIT THE LAST…WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?

(Riley) – YES!! My favorite person!

A quick change in camera angle shows the ramp, and who should be walking down the ramp, none other than…

(Stevens) – TOM FLESHER!

HVT hears the boos, so instead of pinning ELM immediately, Thugg turns to see what the commotion is. When he turns towards the ramp, Thugg sees Flesher and immediately goes to the near ropes to yell at the impressive heel.

(Stevens) – Come out…get him the hell outta here.

(Riley) – His presence just makes this match that much better, doesn’t it?

(Stevens) – Hell no!

Tom Flesher continues to walk towards the ring, drawing not only Thugg’s attention now, but also the referee’s attention. Thugg screams at Flesher, who stops a few feet away from the ring, and Tom has some inaudible choice words in return for the angry black man.

(Stevens) – What is this all about? I know it’s a no-DQ match, but come on…have some damn dignity and respect!

Meanwhile, in the middle of the ring, somehow…someway, ELM starts to come to and gets to all fours. The fans cheer, despite Tom’s presence, as ELM starts to get to his feet, moving as slowly as humanly possible. At the ramp, Flesher stays far enough away to keep from getting his ass whooped, but close enough that Thugg continues to jar with him. The referee sees ELM getting up and goes over to check on his status, as ELM makes it to his nearly dead feet. The cheers the fans had for Magnifico’s rising is short lived because while the champ stands in the center of the ring wavering…

…DANNY WILLIAMS ENTERS THE RING ON THE FAR SIDE!!

(Riley) – Gotcha!

(Stevens) – It was a goddamn trap! Son of a bitch…it was a trap! Flesher is occupying Thugg…this just isn’t right!

The referee immediately goes to Danny, despite the no-dq stipulation, but Danny just shoves the referee aside, giving him a clear path to ELM. Despite being on another planet, ELM turns around, and Danny spins 360 degrees and…

CRACK!!

…lands one of the sickest elbows ever seen on any level of wrestling!

(Riley) – HOLY SHIT! DID YOU SEE THAT ELBOW?!?

(Stevens) – That son of a bitch Tom! He sent Danny in from the crowd to take out Magnifico! And Danny, with that devastating Rolling Elbow has just taken Magnifico’s head clean off his shoulders!!

Magnifico, whose brains have just been bashed in, has nothing to do by fall completely limp and void of life. Danny dives out of the ring to the right, staying low, and seeing that his work is complete, Tom throws his hands in the air and starts to back away.

(Stevens) – This is wrong! So very wrong!

Thugg turns back to Magnifico, who appears to be dead on the canvas, kneels down beside him, motions to the ref to hurry up, and lays down on ELM, hooking the leg for the pin.

(Stevens) – Thugg doesn’t even know about Danny! He must think Magnifico is still down from the Last Stand!

ONE…

TWO…

THREEEEEEEEEE!!

DING DING DING!

(Stevens) – This is absolutely ridiculous!! That son of a bitch Tom Flesher laid the trap, and Danny Williams cleaned Magnifico’s clock with that Rolling Elbow!!

(Funyon) – And the winner of the match…THE H-VIIIIIILLLLLEEEEE THHUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG!!

HVT stands up and throws his hands up in victory, until he notices the large amounts of boos. He turns to see Danny and Tom back pedaling up the ramp together, and then he puts two and two together. HVT has a few choice words for Danny and Tom, as “Who We Be” blares through the speakers, before going over to check on the status of Magnifico, who hasn’t seemed to move. The unhappy crowd begins to throw things towards the stage where Tom and Danny stand, but as if that wasn’t enough, they reach riot level as…

(Stevens) – PERFECT BO!!

…Bo pushes past Tom and Danny and runs down to the ring, steel chair in hand.

(Riley) – Oooo! This ain’t gonna be good.

(Stevens) – That’s enough! Come on…

HVT is kneeling over ELM when Bo slides into the ring with his chair. Tom smiles and disappears to the back as Bo jumps his feet and begins tapping the chair on the ground waiting for Thugg to stand up.

(Stevens) – NO! NO!

HVT stands up slowly, probably to get medical attention for Magnifico, but when he turns around…

WHACK!!

…he is floored by a vicious chair shot from Bo!

(Stevens) – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! GODDAMMIT NO!

The blow sends Thugg to one knee, but…

WHACK!!

…as second chair shot topples him into a heap near where ELM still lies. Bo stands over Thugg, who lays on his stomach, and begins stomping him in the head and neck area. The fans push the security to the limit as they try to get at Bo, who adamantly calls for a microphone.

(Stevens) – What a sick, vile person! I can’t believe this! Thugg was just trying to check on his friend, and Bo just obliterated him with that chair!

(Bo) – WHAT BITCH!! GET THE FUCK UP YOU PUSSY!

The fans really let Bo have it.

(Bo) – And now yo, I finish da fuckin’ shit…right here, right now!

(Stevens) – OH MY GOD!! Get someone down here! Bo is going to try and break Thugg’s neck again!

Bo stands over Thugg’s head, raises the chair high over his head with the edge aimed down at Thugg’s neck. However, before Bo can deliver the final blow, the lights all over the arena shut off, sending a ripple of murmurs through the crowd.

(Riley) – What’s this?

Several seconds pass, and when the house lights return…

(Stevens) – IT’S XSTASY!! XSTASY’S HERE!!

The roar of the crowd shakes the city as Bo looks towards the ramp to see who is coming, but Xstasy is already standing behind him, a look of complete seriousness on his face and his chain in his hand. Behind Bo, Xstasy starts to whirl his chain above his head, and when Bo turns about to face X, the upstart twirls the chain so that it wraps around his forearm and fist…and then…

POW!!

…he rocks Bo’s world with a brain scrambling punch!!

(Stevens) – THANK GOD FOR XSTASY! HE JUST LAID BO OUT WITH ONE PUNCH FROM HIS CHAIN-WRAPPED FIST!!

(Riley) – SON OF A…

Bo drops like a bad habit, and X stands over him, fuming and breathing very heavy. “Come With Me” hits the speakers and all is right in the world.

(Stevens) – NOW THAT’S A FRIEND! BUT GOD, WHAT AN ENDING! FIRST TOM AND DANNY WILLIAMS LAY A TRAP FOR MAGNIFICO! THUGG GETS THE TAINTED VICTORY! BO TRIES TO FINISH THUGG OFF, AND THEN XSTASY COMES TO SAVE THE DAY! CLUSTERFUCK IS RIGHT ON OUR HEELS, BUT WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN ON STORM?!? IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW, ESPECIALLY IN THE AFTERMATH OF THIS MAIN EVENT HERE TONIGHT!! WE’LL SEE YOU WEDNESDAY NIGHT FOR SWF STORM!!

The hatred the fans once felt for the SWF has left, and as Smarkdown goes off the air, they are filled with all the…

Joy…

Of…

X!

END.

January 18, 2003

Results? Grand Slam will post results here as penalty for not getting me his matches in time. Bastard. Read the show if you're curious.

Grand Slam here...

Fine fine fine... here are the results...

Opening pyro and we go straight to a nice little Judge / Annie E. promo that really sets up their match tonight. Is it just me, or is Judge a little cranky?

"TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson over Xero (default)

Flesher demands a title shot... and gets one at Clusterf*ck!! King says it is a submissions match! No, wait, ELM is out and it changes to a ladder match!! No, wait, it is a ladder-submissions match!!

Tod deKindes over CIA

ELM and HVT share some QT before the CB in the MCLR.

Stryke over Perfect Bo in Bo's return match.

An interview with Craven. He talks about a lot of things, including past SWF greats. I notice I only get a passing mention... tsk tsk tsk...

Judge Mental over Annie Eclectic and Michael Craven to retain the Hardcore Gamers Championship.

Tom Flesher over Mak Francis (default)

Oh!! Another match for Clusterf*ck is set when Thugg challenges Bo during a photo shoot. Bo accepts.

Frost over Orochi and Danny Williams to become the new Intercontinental-Television Champion.

H-Ville Thugg over El Luchadore Magnifico in a non-title match. Bunches of interference. Read the dang match kids. Trust me.

Hell, read all of the matches, that's what they are there for!

SWF Smarkdown for January 17th!!!

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