CLUSTERFUCK CARD!!!

[Guest Suicide King]

CLUSTERFUCK 2003

AN SWF PAY-PER-VIEW EXTRAVAGANZA!

Sunday February 2nd, matches due at 3 pm!

Live from the Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!

Theme song “Prayer” by Disturbed.

 

FEATURING…

 

Hville Thugg vs. Perfect Bo

I QUIT MATCH

 

These former friends have turned into bitter enemies, as the battle to determine who is the hardest, most real, most hardcore thug has turned into a savage and bloody affair. These two angry black men are going to solve this issue in one definitive way… an I Quit match! To win one of these very proud men most somehow, someway get his opponent to give in verbally over the microphone. No DQs, no countouts, no pinfalls, no submissions… just two men giving it their all. And in the end one will be acknowledged as the fake that he is!

Send to: TheBostonStrangler

 

Twenty SWF Superstars

THE CLUSTERFUCK BATTLE ROYAL!

 

Entry order:

 

1. Nathaniel Kibagami

2. Judge Mental

3. Ejiro Fasaki

4. Annie Eclectic

5. X

6. Stryke

7. Johnny “The Barracuda” Dangerous

8. Michael Craven

9. Xero

10. Wildchild

11. Danny Williams

12. CIA

13. Alex Zenon

14. Fugue

15. TNT

16. Jay Dawg

17. Longdogger Pete

18. Frost

19. Tod deKindes

20. Mak Francis

 

 

The annual melee for it all has once again returned! This year two superstars will start in the ring and one additional superstar will enter every two minutes. A superstar is eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and having both feet touch the floor… when three competitors are left and all the contestants have entered from the back, the match will change to Triple Threat rules in which the first pin or submission will win! And that winner will have a prize sweeter than any other… a title match on his terms! Will a returning veteran win it? One of the JL bumpees? Or will one of the current crop show that he has what it takes to make it to the big time? And don’t forget all the special “spice” that Commissioner King has added in! What effect will Tod deKindes’ odd choice of #19 entrant have? Don’t miss it!

 

Numbers 1-7 send to: Grand Slam

Numbers 8-14 send to: chirs3

Numbers 15-20 send to: TheBostonStrangler

 

Each man will select two matches which will then be sent to: Suicide King, who will determine the ultimate winner!

 

And the Main Event…

 

Tom Flesher vs. El Luchadore Magnifico

IN THE FIRST EVER SUBMISSION/LADDER MATCH!

 

The main event has never been so evenly matched in the history of the SWF! Two men, two different schools of wrestling, but only one goal: the SWF World Heavyweight Title? Can the seemingly indomitable Magnifico hold off the man who fought him to a standstill in one of the most brutal matches in recent memory, or has the era of the Magnificent Seven truly begun? It’s time to put up or shut up as a very overbooked stipulation governs the outcome of this match… to win, one may either make his opponent submit or one may climb a ladder in the middle of the ring and retrieve the SWF World Championship belt!

Send to: Suicide King

 

Technical Notes for the Main Event

No DQ, no countouts, no pinfalls. As a result reaching the ropes will NOT break a submission hold. If a wrestler passes out or fails to answer a three count while in a submission hold they are considered to have submitted. There are three and only three ladders at ringside, two regular sized ones and the Jeff Hardy skyscraper ladder. Use them as you see fit.

 

Edit: Well, I'm certianly earning my modship...

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

I implore everyone to use the Memphis Eel as a special outside referee. If Shane MacMahon did the job for years, so can he.

[Guest Suicide King]

::glares::

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

Excellent job, Senor King. I can't wait to read my matches.

[Guest Ace309]

Overbooked?

 

I'm hurt.

 

Oh, and the I Quit match is going to be good. I'm stunned and sickened that it's the jerker (no, not really... someone had to), but meh.

[Guest Kibagami]

#1, eh?

 

Um...cool.

 

*begins with the writing*

 

K.

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

YES!!!!

 

King, you rule. I've been suggesting that for a PPV theme since Apocalypse in August

 

And #8 is cool

[Guest midnight_burn]

Me likey very much. Two sure to be amazing matches in the main event and the i quit match, and whoever comes out on top of the Clusterfuck Battle Royal will no doubt pull out a monster of a match. It looks as though it's only myself, X and JD in the match who have been in Clusterfuck before, but this one is certainly anyone's game.

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

Terrrrific. I'm really surprised the bookers managed to pull off a twenty-man Clusterfuck. Hats off to them.

 

The Main Event's gonna be a blast to write...well, half of it, anyway.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

So fucked...

 

So very fucked.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

I was hoping to go as early as possible... and I get #4. BRILLIANT.

 

Oh, and Judge as #2?

 

*cackles evilly*

 

-Annie

[Guest Powerplay]

I was hoping to go as early as possible... and I get #4. BRILLIANT.

 

Oh, and Judge as #2?

 

*cackles evilly*

 

-Annie

*Is already writing down a Two-man Liontamer with Ejiro on Annie.*

 

And #2? Cool. Time to go all IRON MAN on you little ones. Watch a 45 year old man whup your butts .

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Question: Do the commentators know who's entering at what number for the CF? For the Royal Rumble they usually don't for the most part. Also, do the commentators know about who has been bumped from the JL or should that be a surprise too?

[Guest Suicide King]

The commentators know who has been bumped, but they don't know the order of entering superstars.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

New people, post your stats. I now officially like Ejiro better than any of you because he beat you all to it.

 

Also, I'd like to remind everyone to write TNT not as the loveable idiot that he once was, but as the concentrated idiot that he has recently become. Heh.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

So, I know everyone's working hard on their matches, but wouldn't it be cool if *everyone* did one promo before the show? You've got 9 days, and I'm sure you'll want a break between eliminations...

 

::lusts for promowars revisited::

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

So, I know everyone's working hard on their matches, but wouldn't it be cool if *everyone* did one promo before the show? You've got 9 days, and I'm sure you'll want a break between eliminations...

 

::lusts for promowars revisited::

Yeah, I'm working on one... methinks we should set a date or something where EVERYONE had to post a promo... er, practically everyone, that is.

 

It'd be like... uh... like... promos. And stuff. But lots, at the same time... and all regarding the same thing, so it'd be cooler. Yeah.

 

- Taylor "I Swear, Cool x2000" Thompson

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

Mmmm.....PromoWars.

 

Looks like a lovely card, and I can't wait to see the winner of the CF. It's gonna have to be massive with all those faaaaan-tastic writers in there.

 

And yes, everyone should write a promo with their ambition and plans and future plans if they'd win....why, that would be simply fantastic.

 

1 Promo each x 20 = ....somewhere around 20 promos, i'm guessing.

 

Sorry, just a crazy old retiree lurking. I'll be gone now.

[Guest Suicide King]

Back in your cage, Wilson!

[Guest Kibagami]

Will the matches be due Saturday or Sunday? Because Sunday is February 2nd.

 

Just thought I'd ask.

 

K.

[Guest Suicide King]

Sunday. Edited.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

I've got your opening promo, so nobody better touch it. Also, King...I'm gonna write the beginning of the show, so you don't have to do that. I'll include that in my promo.

 

Da "so much work to do" H

[Guest Muzz]

Look, the card is looking rather spiffy.

[Guest Suicide King]

Just so everyone knows, teh actual PPV won't be going up until at least midnight eastern. there will still be no extensions of course, since I have to grade many hugely long matches.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Just so everyone knows, teh actual PPV won't be going up until at least midnight eastern. there will still be no extensions of course, since I have to grade many hugely long matches.

Put me down "no-show" then, I think... I wrote 20,000 words, and only have 3000 left, but the match is due in an hour and my parents are making me go to Church.

[Guest chirs3]

I have a seriously depressing number of CF matches. Not saying how many. If I'm marking your match and King will allow me to, I'll accept yours late, anyone who can at least get SOMETHING in to me.

[Guest chirs3]

If you can't get something in, then PM me, respond here, or IM me on AIM (highres1) telling me you can't, please.

 

Still accepting them, if you've got 'em.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

I think all of 5 people showed.

 

As Zed said: "King is going to explode."

 

But I have a better chance of winning, so bong.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

*prepares the 75-word spectacular*

[Guest Suicide King]

...