Malice in Wonderland comments!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

We must hail what I think could perhaps be called the best PPV in the history of the JL. Un-SANE brutality, unencumbered hilarity, and some monster blowoffs...and the motherfucking Mall Brawl.

 

Mr. T grabs Cutthroat by the arms, and then lifts him up over his head in a mighty looking military press and starts walking away from the elevator.

 

Mr. T: "I PITY DA FOO' WHO TRIES TA TAKE T'S ELEVATAH!"

 

With that, Mr. T throws Cutthroat helluva far, halfway across the mall's first floor

 

And when I thought it couldn't get ANY better...

 

...as he looks over at Silent, who underhooks both of Lavigne's arms and lifts her up, haphazardly holding her body away from him as he lifts her parallel to his body, as she too kicks and wails.

 

Janus nods.

 

Silent nods.

 

Both of them grin maliciously at the cameras and sit out!

 

Axis: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

 

Suicide King: "RAGE UNLEASHED! AND THE....THE....FUCKTHATWASTHEDEMONSTARDRIVER!!!"

 

I laughed so, SO hard. Mostly because they SAT OUT OMGODZ!@$#(*)#@. And this is without mentioning The Asunder-Torn Ass of Cutthroat, the French bread, or the fricking security cart, or the fricking bumper cars...Janus, I want to have your babies, in a totally heterosexual way.

 

Read this, people. It'll be a fine break from your Clusterfuck matches, and give you plenty of great spots to steal!

[Guest Freakish_Twist_Of_Fate]

All I can say is:

 

WOW!

 

I haven't read through the whole thing completely yet. Skimmed it over quick, and am now going through nice and slow. Thusfar, Janus... Wow, I have to hand it to you. You put on a good show. I'll nitpick my character as you wrote him some other time.

 

Damn is all I can say... Damn.

[Guest SupaTaft]

You know, I dont usually read matches when I'm not active (or when I am for that matter) but hearing Strangler freaking out in chat whilst reading Janus' Mall Brawl gave me a little incentive to at least skim it.

 

That match was the fucking shit brother. There wasn't a spot in the entire match I didn't mark out for. How? How did you do that? Tell me and I'll steal you some office supplies. Good ones too.

 

That was the best (and last) match I've read since Raynor/MacPhisto, seriously. I know mark out entirely too hard for Janus and may actually start reading more of your work. I tore a quad I marked so hard. Keep it up, you'll go far. If you don't I'll Big Forearm you to Hel.

 

-Taft

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

TBS' comments on the PPV:

 

Marking Mall Brawl was the greatest marking experience of my life. I received four matches, and all of them had somewhat different takes on the same match, while all being entertaining in their own way. I'd like to give props to IL for writing and showing despite issues with his personal life, which shows a true dedication. Also, extreme props should go out to Christian Blackwell and Omega Storm, who tore it up in their first SJL match. This wasn't an easy one to write, but both went over 6,000 words, and both were in competition with Janus, which is no easy thing. This was a hell of an OPENER for a show, and I can only hope that I get to see these four men who showed pick it up. As for MVS, the only unexplained no-show, I'd like to hear from him.

 

I just edited in Crow and Chris Card's tag team tables match. I know the bird pretty well, and Card has done nothing but impress me since he showed up in the league, so it's no surprise that this match rocked it hard. I would really like to see a little more of these guys in the future. The World Title tourney is a big chance for them to step it up and show that they can compete with the big boys. I don't know if Arian showed, but I hope that she's able to have some peace in her personal life that will allow her to concentrate her. She's been through a hard time, and her absences are understood.

 

The D@mnation in a Box match might be one of the most brutal JL matches ever written. This is up there with the 5-way flaming tag team tables match and the Window Pain matches. After talking to Tod, who marked this match, I understand that both men wrote incredible matches. Kudos to Spike Jenkins, who wrote a massive 12,000 word match (This guy is a MACHINE, folks! A real HOSS, bah gawd!) that JUST barely lost. Dace and Spike will definitely be big-time players in the SJL World Title tourney that's upcoming.

 

Johnny and Fugue tore down the house in their last SJL match, writing a very nice match together. This was very nicely done, and really brought some closure to the angle. I hope that both of these men will have a ton of success in the SWF. After watching them in the SJL, I have absolutely no reason to believe that either of them will struggle. Fugue, we were really glad when you came back, and great job with all your work. Johnny, not everyone was happy when you first came back, myself included, but you worked your ass off, earned yourself a bump, and the respect of a lot of people, including myself. I never thought I'd be the one bumping you, but crazier things have happened. Good job.

 

And then our main event. Ejiro and WC really put together a great read, with WC finally getting the win to prove that he's da man. Good to see that all four of the bumpees got to hold the SJL Title at some point while in the SJL. WC will really have a ton of fun in the WF, as will Ejiro. I think that both of these men represent the best parts of the SJL. They worked a nice long angle together, they exemplified the spirit of competition, and they just managed to entertain every show. I'm hoping that they both continue to do things like this in the WF. Doing angles gets you noticed, boys. Never be afraid to get into a program. It motivates you, makes everything you write more interesting, and gives you a reason to get involved through promos and matches. I hope that you can one-up this again and again.

 

Great PPV overall, guys. I'm hoping that there's gonna be some new SJL stars emerging out of the SJL Title tourney coming up over the next few shows. Here's hoping that people look to the guys moving on and learn to compete with them.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

I don't think anything we've ever had can touch what Dace wrote in terms of sheer carnage.

 

I seriously almost threw up reading the parts leading up to the ending. I think that means you did some good work, Dace...I think.

 

::pukes::

[Guest Crowe]

You know you're doing something write when you have me laughing my ass off extremely loudly, Janus... I loved it. The mental image of Janus in a gold cart and the whirrrriiiinnng noise had me in stitches for an hour.

 

Card and I.... some things in the match didn't flow properly, and it could have been much better. I blame time zones and laziness on my part. Chris, we need to work on the flowage.

 

Dace, your match contained spots which had me literally feeling sick... the weedwhacker spot............. my god. Great match, keep it up, yo.

 

My words can't describe how much the last two matchs FUCKING RULED, so I'm not even gonna bother and I'm going to salute all four of you the only way I know how...

 

(Y) \m/

 

I look forward to the next show, and down the track, the next PPV.

[Guest Goodear]

Hey it's me... it's me... talking about the PPV!

 

Mall Brawl - Janus just brings in the noise and brings in the funk with a beautiful rendition of madness in a mall. Everyone is just used so brilliantly, including the return of Mrs. Frost. The highlights for me just have to be the SWF action figures and Janus escaping .... very.... slowwwwwwwwwwwwwly... on the golfcart. That just totally rulled. Oh and Cutthroat losing to the deadly bread. Sweetness in the sweetest sense. I'd say more, but I don't want to swell your head to Tom Flesher proportions. When are you going to defend that European Title anyway?

 

Table Time and Allied Biscuit - You bastards stole my Hydra gimmick! BASTARDS! Oh well, Hydra is gone now anyway so I don't really give a damn. The DoD combinded weight of 311 pounds steals the record of lightest tag team from I think me and Fooog and this match has me crying twice in 200 words. But Card going to commentary is just the roq.

 

"You think I don’t have enough lippy bloodthirsty goth problems. Look at the pair of them." = (Y)(Y)(Y)

 

The action is a bit herky jerky and all and I think Natasha is a bit too effective in kicking ass of full time workers, but what are you going to do? The dragon screw neckbreaker rules and I'm stealing it... so deal with THAT. Anyway, the thing just turns into BLOODY MESS TIME and it looks like SJL is transitioning from cruiserworld (with me, Johnny, WildChild, and Fugue) in the land of deathmatches (IL, Dace, you guys) so EEK.

 

The Damned Box Everyone DIES. Including my eyes as Dace's choice of format is a little hard to read when he doesn't put breaks in between every paragraph. These guys break immediately into the high impact head dropping fest and then go ahead and top it with brutal weapons work that makes Crusen vomit. Dace's chain wrestling is getting better and better to the point where the follow up commentary is almost unneeded and that's a good thing. The mouth full of light tube might just be the fucking nastiest shit I have ever seen. What the hell is WRONG with you people? The torture rack piledriver kills Spike dead and there's nothig wrong with that since he's probably actually bleeding to death as we speak. Yuck, man... just pure YUCK (in the good way). I sure hope you two aren't just walking around like normal next week. SELL THIS SHIT.

 

Ultimate Fight Johnny eats cage door and I laugh because I'm a jealous bastard. And then Fugue puts on the Harmony and the match ends DAMNIT! Or Johnny kicks Fugue in the jimmies ... whatever comes first... The transitions here need a little work in my opinion but the action is fast and furious and fun and all sorts of stuff like that there. Johnny than goes all Magnum TA on Fugue's Tully Blanchard just going ape shit with some fucking punches that just scream "DIE YOU FUCK" before Fugue just laughs at his ass before getting the "I steal your finisher treatment" and goes all sleepy pooh.

 

WildChild kicks my ass We cowrote this bad boy so I take half the blame and all that. I thought this provided a nice capper to the evening as we went from (in loose terms)... from comedy to blood and guts to intesity to a Bret Hart/1-2-3 Kid kind of match so we had a bunch of different stuf that was all pretty damn good. Anyway I thought he got a pretty good championship build going with the ring introductions and the additions to the guys' entrances before we got down to the business. Story was two fold 1) Ejiro works on WildChild's head to keep him from flying around and 2) who has sucess when they are forced to go away from their normal game plans by the other man. Since neither guy could get the win with their normal finishers both resort to other means, Fasaki goes for the tombstone and WildChild actually wins with the dragon clutch. Figuring about how much this feud was about the way these guys in WildChild's case choose to wrestle and in Ejiro's case how he is forced to wrestle... I thought that made sense. I'm not sure how well the ending came out since I wanted Ejiro to be tapping almost instantly to the clutch and so the usual building to it didn't work.

 

Anyway, thats that.

[Guest Dace59]

It was a PPV, as we all pulled the stops out like hell.

 

I'm glad my stuff was over as sick and disgusting, that was the idea

 

Congrats to all the bumpies, you did great stuff.

 

Still, on the last night W&DN where all together in the same legue, we all won.

[Guest Insanityman]

Wow, I gotta' be honest. Cruiserweight matches are fun, and I'll write them, but I'm glad that every match had a certain focus or theme to it. Janus' match had some classic moments, D@mnation makes me want to one-up somehow, and the Ultimate Fight I thoroughly enjoyed. Ejiro/WC was a nice blow off also.

 

 

Great job on showing for the bumpees and best of luck. To the rest of the SJL- whee for us and keep it up.

[Secret Agent 0]

Well I will just say this PPV had to be one of the best JL PPV's ever!

 

Janus' match really had me rolling, you do an excellent job there kind Sir. Damnation in a Box... Dace you are one sick and twisted puppy. That was all kinds of sheer gore.

 

As for my match itself which was also a cowrite between me and Fugue or Fooge as Ejiro would say it was meant to be more storydriven/feud ending rather than a simple match. That's why there is so much damn talking between the characters. The whole point of Fugue laughing at Johnny was just to push Johnny over the edge, but when pushed far enough Johnny was able to use his anger to unleash a brutal beating. So if it seemed wierd, thats why.

 

WC/Ejiro wrote a killer match as well that deserves two (Y) (Y) for an excellent ending to an excellent feud. Im glad to see WC able to lay claim to the title before moving to the WF.