Current SWF champions

[Guest Thoth]

Hell, I agree completely.  I'd rather job the belts to a team that can actively defend them.  We've only had 1 defense, and they no-showed.  I don't want to see the belts retired, so I would say that plan of action is for the best.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Maybe a tag team invitational after the PPV or something?  I wouldn't be surprised if Da Pound, the Carnival, and The Clan could each field a team ready for regular competition.  Every stable has at least four members, and there are a few new JLers coming up too.  Maybe even some toss-together teams--there are quite a few unattached wrestlers around to boot.  With about 20 guys in the league, 4 teams or so shouldn't be too hard to pull.  Problem is finding people who are willing to have tag be their primary function.  We're all so egotistical like that.  However, if we had, say, Sacred/Bo, K-Os/Lady Red, Raynor/Rotten, and...hmm...maybe LDP/Munich?  Those are just a couple of cool combinations, and there's a lot more.  

 

Tagging is fun!

 

...says the guy who's been in singles programs for the last three months.  Shhh.

[Guest chirs3]

I'm all for a tag run, but there's this pesky US title tournament...

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Blarg... I'm all for tag teaming... a tag invitational sounds kick ass.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"PPV posted...

 

...and 4 new champs!

 

Mothernature says, wooo..."

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Ahem... THREE TIME!!!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"3-time...

 

...with you 3 reigns adding up to about a week in total!

 

Mothernature says, hah!"

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"New champ.

 

So bump.

 

Mothernature says, why does she always have to say something?"

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"New chapeens.

 

So uhhh...bumpeens.

 

Mothernature says, bumptastic..."

[Guest]

Big congrats to the new tag champs.  Here's to hoping you can keep the belts.

 

Ooo... latest post on all SWF/JL Boards.

[Guest Muzz]

Should this be pinned as well?

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Nah...

 

...seeing as we only need it a couple times a month, bumping will be fine.

 

Mothernature says, sounds sensible..."

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Who just broke his own record??

 

Oh yeah, that’s right…ME!!

 

HAHAHAHA!!!

 

Bow before your champion bitches!!

 

What?  Why are you laughing?  What’s so funny??

 

.

.

.

.

.

 

 

OH!

 

*snicker*

 

My fly’s open!  Oops….heh heh.

 

Da “trying to liven up the boards” H

[Guest]

Dear Lord!  The SWF Title hath been DOMINATED!!

 

...but where's my title shot you were talking about a while ago?  I'm game...

 

Krog wnat titel soht!!

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Ok, here it is…

 

“I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wooooooorld!”

“Life of plastic, it’s fantastic!”

 

“You can brush my hair, undress me everywheeeeeere!”

“Imagination, life is your creation!”

 

“Come on Barbie, let’s go party!!!”

 

With that, the lights inside the arena go out, leaving the fans to see pitch black while listening to “Barbie” by Aqua.  Pink and light blue lasers shoot around the arena, giving it a complete homosexual feel.  Suddenly, the 8 fans in the arena explode into cheers as Scott Reid dances his way through the curtain, confirming his sexuality for the whole world to see.

 

(Curry) – Ladies and gentlemen…

 

(NTD) – You know we’re not on yet, right?

 

(Curry) – Yeah, but someone’s gotta comment for those people reading this on the Smarkboards.

 

(NTD) – The Smark what?

 

Reid struts down towards the ring, and once he slides into the ring, he humps the canvas several times while the 8 fans chant his name.

 

(Curry) – Nevermind.  You know, I do believe that those 8 fans who are here are Scott Reid’s group of homosexual lovers.

 

(NTD) – You got a problem with gays?

 

(Curry) – No, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being gay.  Hell, you can play tennis with a gay person with no problem.  The only thing is after the match.  You say, “Good match man…so what you doing afterwards?”  And Scott might reply, “Oh, well I’m going to suck some dick…”  “Oh…well, you go suck that dick…I’m gonna grab a beer.”

 

(NTD) – You stole that from Eddie Murphy!

 

(Curry) – Damn…yeah, I did.

 

“They don’t know”

“Who we be”

 

“They don’t know”

“Who we be”

 

“What they don’t know is…”

 

BOOM!

 

(Curry) – And here comes the SWF champion for this bizarre impromptu SWF title dark match.

 

(NTD) – Yeah, what’s this all about?

 

(Curry) – Well, I heard the noob kept buggin’ Thugg for a title shot, so HVT finally gave in.

 

HVT doesn’t even go through his normal pre-match ritual because the guy typing this is getting annoyed with the amount of detail he’s already put into this pointless match.  So, HVT walks down to the ring…

 

DING DING DING

 

(Curry) – Hey, what happened to Funyon?

 

(NTD) – He’s not here yet…the ghost of Mr. Galatea does the announcing for the dark matches.

 

(Mr. G) – Sorry I’m late, but I was at Porn Masta Thugg’s latest porn site…”See Scott Reid Holding Dicks.com”.  Anyway, lady and 7 gentlemen, the following dark match is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWF title…or some shit.  It’s not like it matters because Thugg is going to crush this fuckin’ noob into a million pieces and then when he ‘s done with him, I’m gonna take over his body.

 

(Curry) – Well, that was…well, honest.

 

HVT puts his title around his waist, showing off his brand new belt extender that finally came.  HVT walks over to the overzealous Reid, and punches his face until it implodes.

 

(NTD) – Wow, Thugg just smushed Scott Reid’s face into his head.

 

(Curry) – That crazy Thugg…

 

HVT the rips Reid’s arms off and begins to club him with them.  Then, HVT gets an idea, and puts Reid’s thumb in his own ass.

 

(Curry) – HAHAHAHA!!  Scott Reid has his thumb in his ass!

 

Then HVT decides that Scott Reid needs to fist himself, so…well, I think you know what he does.

 

(NTD) – Where’s Jay Dawg when you need him?  Isn’t he always telling people to fist themselves?

 

(Curry) – Actually, I heard that JD’s new winning ways has landed him some pretty big parts in pornos.  I think he’s off shooting…or shooting off, depending on how you look at it.

 

HVT discards Scott Reid’s arms, and then grabs his torso and legs, and then proceeds to rip the newbie in half.

 

(Curry) – Well then, it was nice to have Scott Reid, even for a short while.  Too bad his over ambitiousness has resulted in his death.  

 

(NTD) – He should have just gotten a hooker.  That might have been safer.

 

HVT reaches under the ring, and as he does, he’s joined by GORO and Elk.  They three larger than life SWF superstars proceed to feed on Scott Reid’s carcass and conversing the night away.  That is until…Mr. G’s ghost stunners them through 8763274397498328479283 tables for destroying his new body.

 

 

There…I think you lost.

 

Da “on the spot” H

[Guest]

I'M BEING HELD DOWN!!!

 

(Bossman holds a "Conspiracy Victim [arrow pointing down]" sign above his head.)

 

I've always wanted to do that (the Conspiracy Victim thing, that is).

 

(Bossman starts a "Thugg fears Reid" chant and pumps his fist in the air.)

[Guest Smeghead]

Just had a PPV.  Time for a bump.

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

ELM iz beingz insane!

 

Four LHW title reigns... go you, man, as I'm pretty sure that's the most times anyone's held the same title.

 

- Mike Van Siclen.

  Respect El Luchadore.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

*sniff sniff*  

 

It just looks damn weird not having my name up there!

 

So sad...

 

Kill Edwin!

 

Da "still setting all kinds of records" H

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Heh.. my name's on there. Sweeeeet.

 

I promise I won't Billy Gunn or David Arquette the Hardcore Title!

[Guest Suicide King]

It's ok Thugg... your name is still engraved upon our hearts.  Remember?  You had that X-acto knife...

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"New champ...

 

...bump.

 

Mothernature says, what?"

[Guest Muzz]

Yayness 'n stuff.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"It's the rock n' bump connection!

 

Mothernature says..."

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Uhh...

 

...pmub.

 

Mothernature says..."

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Bumpski.

 

New champinskis.

 

Mothernature says..."

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Only one title changed hands this PPV. Not often that, that happens.

 

Mothernature says..."

[Guest Ace309]

(Y) @ inconveniencing Stubby!

 

er

 

I mean (Y) @ winning the only title to change hands!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"Bump bitches.

 

Mothernature says..."

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Bizzump!

 

Got knocked down to the second page....

 

Da "can't have that" H