SWF CLUSTERFUCK "FROM TEH VAULT" MATCHZ0RZ~!

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

This right here, coming allllll the way back from 05.27.01, is from SWF CROSSFIRE 2001. Truly exciting, indeed. I WAS going to post King/Thugg from last year's 'Fuck... but you know, King 3 weeks in a row? Hah, not likely.

 

*notices that this match has King in it too...*

 

Oh, fuck. Well... anyhow...

 

-=Three Team Turmoil=-

Phoenix Uprising (Rane & Cyclone Comet & Axis) vs. Prime Evil (Fallout & El Luchador Magnifico & Silencer) vs. Midnight Carnival (Raynor & Spark & King of Hearts)

- Stables and Tag Titles

(Three men in each stable, three corners of the ring, three men start in the ring. The first pin of this match we’ll decide the holder of the stable titles. The second will see the tag team champions decided. After a month of up and down action for all three stables, can any of them survive long enough to hold gold?)

 

Yep. Comet, Rane, Axis, ELM, Fallout, Raynor, and King? ALL IN THE SAME MATCH!? Fuckin' shit, it's gotta be great. I don't want to win the surprise, but the MC won [one of the falls], and this is the match that MADE the Carnie name. King's natural gold-osity, Chris' uber-ness when tagging, and Spark's... well, Spark, all contributed to make this match teh roq. Teh roq indeed. Hey, did I mention that Silencer is in the match too!? Doesn't that make it SO much better?? Yeah, thought so. Read away, bizznatches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-=Triple Team Turmoil=-

 

(The cell is being lifted high into the air as the loyal IGNWF crew attempts to make the ring habitable for human life again, sweeping away all the wreckage from the previous HIAC match! The crowd is stoked from the grueling affair and is even starting a small cheer for the clean-up crew who accept it in good graces, one chap even attempting to get a rhythmic clapping started... with all their work done, the crew departs back up the extra-wide entrance ramp leading to the ring...)

 

Curry: Wow... just wow! That was perhaps the single greatest NY title match this league has ever seen! Suicide and his "mystery opponent" gave it their all, and both men should be commended!

 

NTD: True Curry, but in the end only one man could be the winner, and I say the better man won! Perhaps not the better *looking* man, but you take what you can get!

 

Jayson: My only hope is that all the fans who've turned in to this PPV extravaganza are not forced to change the channel at the next match.... as three of the silliest, most useless excuses for stables that I've ever seen go at it in Three Team Turmoil, with the Stables Belt and the Tag Belts on the line! Prime Evil, that collection of jackanapes and their chimp of a leader face the Phoenix Uprising, a stable that isn't so much "rising" as plummeting! Throw in the Midnight Carnival, a freakshow of epic proportions and one wonders if Divefire has the common sense God gave a bowling ball, and if so why did he book this card?!

 

Curry: I think you might be just the teensiest bit biased here Jayson. Prime Evil, current holder of the Stables Title, of course, has crossed you and your Corporation in the recent past. The Phoenix Uprising in its various incarnations, and might I add the current tag champions, have been perhaps your deadliest foe here in the IGNWF, and the Midnight Carnival, though new, already has many people talking about the brash young showmen!

 

NTD: And at the very least Divefire has finally made Prime Evil defend the Stables Title! I was beginning to think that Fallout might take it to his grave!

 

Jayson: A very real possibility... but in any event I believe it's fairly clear that the Corporation could destroy *any* of the teams here tonight. WE should have the Stables Belt!

 

Curry: Perhaps some other time Jayson! I'm pretty sure that Riley has better things to do tonight-

 

NTD: Like try to win the World Championship!

 

Curry: And I don't think MacPhisto is in any shape to compete again after that savage affair earlier tonight against Grimedogg and Angelous of the Wild Cards!

 

Jayson: Our time will come. The Corporation *will* be restored to its former glory, and I *will* rule the IGNWF again!

 

Curry: ... Thank you Dr. Doom. That was overly creepy... (holds his earpiece) and I'm told that we're ready to go for Three Team Turmoil! Hold on to your seats folks, this one will be non stop action!

 

(Funyon stands in the center of the ring, waiting for the crowd to die down just a tad... sensing his moment he begins...)

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is a Three Team Turmoil Match scheduled for two falls! The winner of the first fall will win the Stables Title, and the winner of the second fall will win the Tag Team Titles! Introducing first, at a combined 842 lbs.... Axis, and the Tag Team Champions Cyclone Comet and Rane... THE PHOENIX UPRISSSSSINGGGG!!!!!!

 

(The crowd goes ballistic at the mention of the most popular stable ever in the IGNWF, and all the lights go out as the no-nonsense chords of "For Whom The Bell Tolls" begin to play... the stage begins to glow a deep green color that reveals the rising smoke obscuring a clear picture of its contents. There's something in there but it isn't the silhouette of three men... a sudden burst of red flame shoots forth from the stage, taking the shape of the mythical bird the stable is named for, and then two blinding lights shine forth from the smoke, looking like nothing so much as the eyes of some monstrous beast! It's horrible... it's terrifying...)

 

Curry: It's the Pepsi MAXimorphing Crime Fighting Mobile! The Uprising is pulling out all the stops tonight!

 

(Indeed it is Cyclone Comet's personal justice mobile! With a loud screech it pulls out of its impromptu parking spot on the stage and speeds down the widened ramp accompanied by the roar of an approving crowd... Comet is driving of course, and Axis sits in the passenger seat waving to the crowd... Rane sits in the back, his hands tight on the seats in front of him, looking for all the world like he wishes he could just get out and walk! Behind them the IGNtron plays select sequences from all three men's greatest matches...)

 

Jayson: Looks like we finally found something Rane is afraid of!

 

NTD: Vehicular manslaughter? That's a good choice.

 

(The Pepsi MAXimorphing Crime Fighting Mobile (hereafter known as the MAXmobile to save my fingers) executes a technically perfect and completely legal three point turn, coming to a stop by the PU corner. Rane bails from the car like a rat leaving a sinking ship as Axis carefully disengages himself... Cyclone Comet makes a display of removing his seatbelt, sending the wholesome message to millions of kids watching at home that seat belts save lives! CC too finally exits the vehicle and joins his compatriots in the ring where they are met with the adulation of the thousands upon thousands of fans present here tonight for Crossfire!)

 

Curry: Listen to that ovation for the tag champs and Axis! Say what you will, but there is no doubt that those men there are what many of these people tonight came to see! The monster Rane, the greatest IGNWF Heavyweight Champion ever... Axis, perhaps the most technically sound big man in the league... and Cyclone Comet, the spandex clad champion of all that is just and good! They're the easy favorites tonight, both to retain and to take the Stables Title!

 

Jayson: If those men are as loved or important as you say Curry, it is for one reason only... *I* made them. Without me, they'd be nothing!

 

Curry: Hate to quibble a point there Jayson, but I think it'd be more accurate to say that they made *themselves* in spite of you!

 

Jayson: (makes inarticulate sounds of rage at Curry's impudence)

 

(The Phoenix Uprising stands side by side in the center of the ring... Rane stands in the middle, his head down and his long brown hair hanging in front of his face... slowly he raises his arms high above his head in the traditional show of dominance, and the four turnbuckles come to life, geysering a fountain of sparks that illuminate the ring and everyone in it! Yet once more the crowd goes nuts at the display of its heroes as the lights come on... Comet seemingly remembers something and pulls a small plastic object out of his tights... it makes a loud BEEP BEEP, and the MAXmobile folds up into its more customary form, that of a Pepsi MAX machine...)

 

NTD: That has got to help when you can't find a parking space.

 

(PU goes to their corner and continues to plan as Funyon make ready the next announcement...)

 

Funyon: Introducing second, at a combine 600 lbs... they are the current holders of the Stables Title... El Luchador Magnifico... the Silencer... and Fallout.... PRIME EVVVVVIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(The ring and the surrounding seats are encased in a sudden and complete darkness... no sounds ring out for several seconds, until the MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! of an unsound mind rings through the arena followed by a quick segway to Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People..." All the lights in the arena begin to flicker on and off as something long and black appears at the top of the entry ramp... the crowd is showering the arena with boos even though no one has definitively appeared yet.)

 

NTD: Looks like Prime Evil brought their own ride too...

 

(Somberly a hearse begins to drive down the stage, a clear indicator of what PE has planned for the other combatants in the match... in the madly flickering lights it seems to be almost stop-motion, moving even slower than it is. At the base of the ramp the hearse rolls to a stop almost directly next to the ring, and three doors open. The Silencer exits from the backseat as Magnifico and Fallout exit from the passenger and driver side respectively, accompanied by the disdain of the capacity crowd! Fallout merely sneers before looking at the hearse with something not unlike disgust...)

 

Curry: One gets the feeling that the hearse was not his idea!

 

NTD: Perhaps one of the newer members of Prime Evil rented it for the weekend!

 

(The trio makes its way to the ring, the Silencer catching a slight slap to the back of the head from Fallout...)

 

Curry and NTD: It was the Silencer's idea.

 

(Warily the latest arrivals slide into the ring, casting a cautious glance over at the Uprising. PU seems to have no immediate plans of a preliminary throwdown, so Prime Evil stands alone in the middle of the ring, the unquestioned masters as three brightly colored spotlights surround them. Fallout is lit by a sickly green, Magnifico a bright blue, and the Silencer yellow. The music comes to an end and PE retire to their corner, occasionally casting a conspiring eye toward the Phoenix Uprising...)

 

Curry: It would be a mistake to rule Prime Evil out of it though... Fallout is a cagey veteran! If anyone can make a miracle happen here tonight it's him, and you've got to remember that Prime Evil is unrivalled in its pure sadism and maliciousness, save by the Corporation!

 

Jayson: (haughty sniff) I'd hardly call them even rivals.

 

Funyon: Introducing third, at a combined weight of 675 lbs... Spark... Chris Raynor... and the King of Hearts... THE MIDNIGHT CARRRRNIVALLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!

 

(The arena once again fades into darkness, albeit a friendlier one this time. A soft female voice whispers, "Midnight Carnival," and the thick bass beat and kazoo chorus of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Love Rollercoaster" begin to fill the arena as the IGNtron begins to flash bright white with the message STEP RIGHT UP! The crowd begins to cheer as three blue laser lights begin to pan through the crowd, and with the chorus kicking in they spread out, illuminating the entry ramp in a blue haze, revealing... a golf cart!)

 

Jayson: Wha-?

 

(The crowd explodes into laughter as the gaudy cart rolls down the ramp, the hastily stenciled lettters LOVE ROLLERCOASTER clearly visible in gold glitter on its side! It careens down toward the ring like a drunk sprinter, the King of Hearts at the wheel! Spark hangs out one side in the backseat, pumping his fist in the air as Chris Raynor tries to hang on for dear life in the back where the golf clubs would be, were this not an illegally souped up golf cart! KoH is driving only in the loosest sense of the word as he tries to get past the PE hearse... whoops, scratched it! Whoops, again! KoH waves his apologies with a big grin at the ring where the Silencer stands in silent anger. Finally the Love Rollercoaster makes it past the hopefully insured hearse...)

 

NTD: Your love is like... a rollercoaster baby baby... I wanna ride!

 

Jayson: The hell you will!

 

Curry: Shut up NTD.

 

(The Rollercoaster speeds the rest of the way to the ring, nearly tipping over twice in its haste before pulling to a stop at the MC corner. The Carnies disembark, and Spark makes a point of attaching the Club to the steering wheel in order to prevent theft! Raynor slides into the ring first, exhorting the crowd to even greater cheers as his compatriots join him and the refrain picks up! The blue lasers spiral wildly out of control as the whole arena is lit by purple strobe lights, showing the Carnies in a funky, staccato light! The crowd goes absolutely nuts!)

 

NTD: Well, they've got a good entrance!

 

Curry: And you can't discount these youngsters here, particularly Spark and Raynor! Raynor is a former tag champ, in fact dropping the belts to the Uprising, but he and Spark have come back and made a big splash in the tag division, to the point where they are the ipso facto number one contenders!

 

(Finally the theatrics die down... the ref cautions all nine men, making a point to aim his remarks toward Prime Evil. Nodding, each team returns to its corner to select its starters. Magnifico and the Silencer exit the ring, likewise Rane and Axis... after a few more seconds debate, Raynor and Spark hop through the ropes, leaving the King of Hearts alone in the ring with Cyclone Comet and Fallout!)

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Curry: And this one is underway! It should be one hell of a match!

 

(The King of Hearts extends his hand out to Comet, who heartily accepts the show of good sportsmanship. The King then offers his hand to Fallout, who stares at him like he's absolutely nuts. King just shrugs, smiles, and heads back to his corner, waiting for someone else to make the first move.)

 

Curry: Hey Jayson, who's your pick?

 

Jayson: Oh shut up. I hope someone cuts down the lighting rig above the ring and squashes them all!

 

(Comet has retreated to his corner as well, and Fallout his. None of them seems willing to make the first move of the match up... A slight nod of the head from King in Comet's direction, and they charge! Fallout is caught off guard and is beaten down in his own corner! El Luchadore Magnifico and Silencer start taking shots at the attackers from the apron, but Comet and the King knock them off! They lift Fallout up in his corner, each holding one of his arms, then launch him across the ring into the neutral turnbuckle! Fallout crashes into the post and it knocks the wind out of him! He gasps for air and raises his head just in time to see the King of Hearts charge him! The King lands a knee to Fallout's gut, doubling him over, and he stumbles out of the corner. Comet points at Fallout and yells something to the crowd, getting a rabid response, then he grabs the top rope and hops onto the second one in his corner. Fallout is still gasping for air, and he slowly hobbles to the center of the ring and lifts himself up. No sooner is he up then Cyclone Comet leaps through the air, his cape fluttering behind him, and connects with a flying forearm!)

 

Curry: And it seems that Prime Evil is the main target of this match!

 

Jayson: *yawn* When's this borefest gonna be over with?

 

Some smartass group of fans attempt a "P.U! P.U!" chant, but it's quickly devoured by the rapidly growing "Phoe-nix! Phoe-nix!" chant!

 

(In the ring, Comet grabs Fallout and whips him into the Midnight Carnival corner. Fallout picks himself up and frantically tries to muster up a plan of some sort when someone taps him in the shoulder! He whips around to see Chris Raynor and Spark waving at him, with smug grins on their face! Fallout jumps back startled, and Comet grabs him from behind, wraps his arms around him, and arches back for a Straitjacket suplex! Comet leaps to his feet and assumes another heroic pose, which proves to be fatal as the King nails a picture-perfect standing dropkick on him from behind! Comet flies forward and stumbles over Fallout, and he falls to the mat face first! The King goes to follow up on his attack, but in a flash, Comet spins onto his backside and swings his legs around, catching King in the back of his knees and dropping him down to the mat! Comet leaps to his feet and looms over his opponent, then wags his finger at him!)

 

Curry: ... Did Comet just breakdance?

 

NTD: This is what this company has been reduced to? Breakdancing superheroes?

 

Jayson: Although, if you think about it... Since I've been gone, Rane and Comet have gone from main event status to fighting these losers... I suppose that's the silver lining...

 

(Comet finishes his scolding of King, then runs and flips over him, grabbing his neck mid-air and snapping him down in a neckbreaker, and he lands his leg across Fallout, who was crawling for his corner! Fallout flops over onto his back, and Comet seizes the opportunity to attempt a pin!)

 

1....

 

2- The King of Hearts snatches Comet's cape from behind and yanks it hard, and Comet falls off of his opponent!

 

Jayson: I knew that cape would get him in trouble one day...

 

(Comet attempts to get to his feet, but King holds on to his cape! Comet tries to twist around, but that only gets him more entangled! The King rises, still holding on, and Comet is bent over with the cape over his head! The King kicks his left leg up and jumps, dropping it onto Comet's neck and driving him into the mat with a Showstopper!)

 

Jayson: Ha! This match may be good after all!

 

Curry: He should really do something about that cape...

 

(Comet grabs his face and rolls away from the King into the PU corner, which was closer than either of them realized. Comet swipes his hand in the air, hoping for anybody, and he tags in...)

 

Curry: Rane!

 

Jayson: Whuh oh.

 

NTD: Look! The King is "flushed"! Ahhahahahah!

 

(In one sense of the word, NTD is correct, for all of the color from King's face has been drained as the seven foot monster steps over the ropes. The King slowly backs away and he nearly trips over Fallout's foot! King turns to see where the third member of this fight is, and he sees Fallout thrust his hand out and get tagged by El Luchadore Magnifico! The Mexican hero leaps over the ropes behind Rane, who is unaware of his presence, then he leaps on the back of the big man! Rane stumbles back a little, a bit unnerved by this, and ELM frantically starts beating on the back of his head! Rane just leans back and then throws himself forward, and El Luchadore Magnifico flies over his shoulders and lands hard on the mat! The King charges Rane, hoping to catch him off guard, but all he manages to catch is a boot to the face!)

 

Curry: And Rane is dominating over the newbies! That's one distinct advantage Phoenix Uprising has in this match, all three participants on their side are long time veterans of the WF!

 

Jayson: I'm always up for a good Carny squash!

 

(El Luchadore gets up to his feet and charges right back into the fray, bolting from his corner and trying a clothesline! Rane doesn't even take a step back from the impact! ELM runs at the ropes and tries again, but Rane still shows no signs of being hurt! ELM decides for one more try, this time leaping through the air and nailing Rane across the neck! Rane stumbles just far back enough to trip over The King of Hearts, who was crouched behind him!)

 

Curry: Now that's downright insulting, using a playground trick like that!

 

Jayson: Are you kidding me? That was a hoot and a half!

 

NTD: A real knee slapper!

 

(The King and ELM form a temporary alliance it seems. They both rush over to the corner that Rane fall back into and start firing away with right hands. It looks as if they are actually phasing the big man, when all of a sudden, Rane's arms shoot out and latch on to both his attackers' throats! Rane marches out of the corner with ELM's throat in one hand and the King's in the other! He lets out a roar, then lifts BOTH OPPONENTS AT ONCE AND CHOKESLAMS THEM DOWN!)

 

Curry: WOW!

 

Jayson: Do it again! Do it again!

 

(El Luchadore Magnifico foolishly attempts to recover, drawing Rane's attention away from the King! KoH rolls slowly to his corner and slaps the hand of Chris Raynor, who charges in and nails Rane from behind! Rane falls into the ropes, pushing ELM through them to the outside, and Raynor grabs Rane's arm and heaves him across the ring. Rane bounces off the opposite ropes and rockets back, ducks a clothesline, but gets a knee to the gut and a facebuster on the second time around!)

 

Curry: Raynor and Rane have gone at it before, just about a month ago, when Y2Chris lost the tag titles to him and Comet! I wouldn't be surprised if that's where Raynor's courage against him comes from.

 

Jayson: Or he could be a complete freakin' moron. He charged into the ring without even thinking about it! Against RANE! R-A-N-

 

Curry: I know how to spell his name, Jay.

 

Jayson: No, wait... R-I-A... No... R-A-N-I-... Damn it!

 

(Rane is hurt, but he's still on his feet. He falls into the ropes and holds on to them for support while Raynor contemplates his next move. Suddenly, the recovered El Luchdore Magnifico's arms shoot out under the bottom rope and grab Rane's legs!)

 

Curry: Does he really think he can bring him down?

 

(Rane starts struggling to break free of ELM's grasp, and Raynor takes note of this development. He charges across the ring, bouncing off the ropes opposite of the fight, then rockets back and leaps at Rane! But Rane stops resisting, allowing himself to be pulled down by ELM, and Raynor flies over the top rope and crashes down to the outside! El Luchadore pulls Rane out of the ring, thinking he's hurt from the fall, but Rane immediately nails a hard right hand, then a second, a third, and finally the Mexican Hero is driven to the outside mats by a hellacious clothesline!)

 

Curry: Man oh MAN, Rane is really taking it to these guys!

 

Jayson: This is almost like hazing new guys in a frat house!

 

NTD: I went through hazing... they made me... *he chokes up* ... wear pants!

 

[Curry and Jayson gasp.]

 

Curry: Man... I'm sorry.

 

Jayson: I had no idea...

 

(Rane walks over to Chris and picks him up, then drags him over to ringside and grabs ELM, and rolls them both back into the ring. Suddenly, Silencer leaps off the apron and tackles Rane from above! Fallout hops off the apron and helps, and soon Axis and Comet interject themselves into the fight!)

 

Curry: Prime Evil and Phoenix Uprising are all going at it! I would hate to be the ref in this match!

 

Jayson: Wa-wa-wa-wait a sec! That leaves all of the Midnight Carnival taking on El Luchadore!

 

Curry: Egads, you're right! If Raynor can capitalize now, the Midnight Carnival can take the Stable Titles!

 

NTD: Did you just say "egads?"

 

(El Luchadore is the first up to his feet. He falls back into the Prime Evil corner and catches his breath while Raynor slowly rolls over to the ropes and starts to pull himself up. The ref is too distracted by the proceedings outside to note he should make a ten count, not that it matters as both men in the ring are up relatively quickly. Raynor closes the distance to the PE corner where he staggers the Mexican with a hard right! Another punch follows, and another as Magnifico is rocked back to the turnbuckles! Raynor winds up to throw a punch for the ages, but Magnifico ducks it, moving past Raynor and reaching up under his arms.... desperation backslide by the wily Mexican! )

 

1...

 

2- Spark runs toward his pinned partner, but before he can make it Raynor kicks out! The ref immediately gets up and gets in Spark's face as the two combatants stand again...

 

(Raynor is slightly flushed at the previous exchange and seeks to make Magnifico pay while the brawl between PE and PU rages on outside! Another lightning series of rights stagger the Luchadore and back him against the ropes, from which Raynor fires him across the ring! Bounce back and Magnifico is caught and spun down to the canvas in a brutal mat-shaking spinebuster! Raynor holds on to the unfortunate ELM's legs, stepping through, crossing them, and turning him over...)

 

Curry: Spinebuster to sharpshooter! Magnifico is in a world of trouble, and it looks like no one can save him!

 

(Magnifico is writhing in pain, as much as the position allows. The crowd is popping like crazy as Raynor cranks back on his trapped legs hard, seeking to force a submission before anyone outside is the wiser... the ref is in ELM's face, asking him if he gives, does he want out... Magnifico grits his teeth and shakes his head, before Raynor's cranking prompts another scream of pain!)

 

NTD: The Luchador can't take much more of this...

 

(Suddenly the Silencer dives in from the outside, clocking Raynor with a stiff forearm to the back causing Raynor to loosen the hold! The ref tries to caution him but he is gone near-instantly, returning to the fray outside... Magnifico quickly scrambles back to his corner holding his lower back in pain, looking around frantically for someone to tag and finding no one, his colleagues in evil still engaged with the forces of good outside! Magnifico almost looks like he wants to cry... Raynor seems slightly distracted by the brawl out side of the ring, as CC, Axis, and Rane take on the Silencer and Fallout. Fallout, quick as a cat, grabs the heads of the two big PUers and rams them together, knocking them for a loop! Without a moment to waste Fallout throws Rane back into the ring to even the odds... Rane rolls to a stop directly in front of Raynor, and it's easy to see the wheels turning in his mind, as Raynor suddenly lashes out with a brutal stomp, followed by several more! Raynor lifts the big man up by his hair and whips him to the ropes, Rane bounces back... right into Raynor's foot, as he takes to the air with a standing scissor kick! Rane staggers back, even that powerful blow not enough to take him down...)

 

Curry: Rane isn't human!

 

Jayson: Tell me something I don't know...

 

(The fight outside has died down and the teams return to their prospective corners, Axis and the Silencer looking a little worse for wear. ELM, reenergized, walks over by Raynor's side and gestures at the stunned Rane... Chris nods. Magnifico takes a couple of steps back as Raynor once again moves over to Rane, throwing a few forearms to keep him off his game... whip into the ropes sends the monster across the ring again, bounce back and Rane is taken down by a chopblock to his knee from Magnifico! Rane lands hard on his knees, looking up just in time to see Raynor's big boot slam into his face, knocking him all the way down to the mat!)

 

NTD: Between the two of them they just *might* have a chance to take Rane out!

 

Jayson: Weren't Chris and Magnifico at each others' throats just seconds ago?

 

Curry: Previous problems are completely irrelevant! If they want to take down the monster they know they've got to work together!

 

(The two men are working together almost as a well-oiled machine, Raynor dropping a big elbow on the fallen giant's throat as Magnifico senton splashes onto his midesction! Chris once again moves to the big man's legs, grabbing them and signalling Magnifico to move... Chris falls backward and slingshots Rane into the neutral corner turnbuckles face first! Rane staggers back weakly, only to receive a dropkick in the back from Magnifico that sends his face hurtling back to the turnbuckle! Rane weakly takes a step back and falls down!!! The Mexican moves to cover...)

 

1...

 

2- Rane nearly throws Magnifico out of the ring with the force of his kickout, nanoseconds before Chris moves to throw him off! The Mexican lands several paces away, slightly shaken by Rane's display of power... Raynor, determined to keep the advantage rains stomp after stomp down on Rane...

 

(Rane apparently hasn't read the script however as he refuses to lay still... seemingly ignoring the vicious stomps Raynor is sending to his midsection, the monster gets right back up and stares Chris directly in the eye... Chris is uncharacteristically shaken. He runs back to the ropes and springs off them, reaching out with a big clothesline... THAT DOESN'T MOVE RANE ONE INCH! Raynor, desperate, runs back to the clothesline again and bounces off of it, this time coming in with another big boot... Rane catches the leading foot with both hands! Quickly pulling Raynor to him, Rane grabs him and spins, impacting to the mat like a meteorite with a brutal leg-capture suplex!!!)

 

Curry: Rane is back in the game! Tremendous technical display from the big man!

 

NTD: Like Raynor is a cruiserweight!

 

(Magnifico runs over, launching himself through the air a in a cross body... only to be caught!! RAne lifts the Mexican hero high above his own head in a military press, ELM shaking his head wildly and the crowd exploding like Chernobyl! Rane calmly carries the cruiserweight over to the Prime Evil corner, BEFORE THROWING HIM OVER THE ROPES AT HIS TAG PARTNERS, KNOCKING ALL THREE MEN TO THE FLOOR!!! The PEers looks like a car wreck, a tangle of limbs and pain on the inadequate padding over the concrete... Rane returns to the unfortunate Chris Raynor as the ref begins a ten count for Magnifico...)

 

Jayson: Why is the ref even bothering? If he counts out Magnifico it's still not a fall! There are three teams fighting here!

 

NTD: Instinct I suppose... like migration, or lemmings running off cliffs, that sort of thing!

 

(Raynor is back to his feet after that killer suplex however, and rushes to meet the larger Rane! The two men begins to exchange right hands that would knock down trees... but inevitably Rane gains the advantage, once again, Chris simply being no match for the big man! Rane drags Chris over to his corner and tags in Axis before lifting Raynor high into the air... and dropping him, only to be caught by Axis in a 3/4 headlock!!

 

Curry: Double team military press Diamond Cutter! Oof!

 

Axis quickly rolls on top of Chris, hooking the leg...

 

1...

 

2...

 

3-NO!! RAYNOR SOMEHOW KICKS OUT! Axis looks mildly surprised at this turn of events... Axis lifts Raynor up by his hair and whips him into the ropes, knocking him back down to the canvas with a stellar hiptoss. Raynor lays there weakly as Axis prepares to bounce off of the ropes, preparing his next stage in the destruction of Chris Raynor... but someone outside the ring grabs his leg!!!!)

 

Curry: It's El Luchador Magnifico!!

 

NTD: He's still alive!

 

Jayson: Barely. And not for much longer by the look of things...

 

(Axis looks down at the tiny Mexican holding on to his leg like a lamprey... reaching down Axis gets his hands around the unfortunate Luchador's head and lifts him up to the apron! Almost casually he tosses the cruiserweight into the ring where he lands with a sick thud next to Raynor... the other PEers are coming to and climbing back on to the ring apron, but that may come too little too late for Magnifico... Axis reches down and stands the Mexican up, before kicking him hard in the midsection and applying the standing head scissors...)

 

Curry: Factor Bomb! If he lands this it'll be all over!

 

(Axis lifts Magnifico high into the air into powerbomb position... ELM obviously realizes his peril through his clouded perceptions as he begins to rain punch after punch down on the face of Axis, but Axis is as resolute as death! Axis begins to bring his arms down, BUT MAGNIFICO SPINS AROUND HIS SHOULDERS AND DROPS FORWARD! VICTORY ROLL PIN!!)

 

1...

 

2-NO! Axis throws the Pride of Mexico off with authority, launching him toward the friendly corner! ELM sinks in the corner tiredly, his hand reaching up and tagging Fallout back in before rolling out of the ring!

 

NTD: THAT was superior Mexican luchador craziness there! Lesser cruiserweights would be unconscious from the Factor Bomb right now, but Magnifico? Pshaw! His finely honed instincts took over and turned it into an opportunity!

 

Jayson: The only opportunity he needs right now is an opportunity to rest!

 

(Fallout enters the ring as Raynor gets back to his feet. Axis, already up, charges towards Raynor, his arm outstretched. Raynor, his eyes temporarily averted to the entering Fallout, looks up just in time to see Axis's arm slamming into him! He rockets back down to the mat, and Axis turns to face Fallout. Both men stare eachother down for a moment, looking for their spot, then begin to advance slowly toward eachother. Clearly on the same wavelength, they meet in a grapple near the corner and Axis pushes Fallout against the turnbuckle. He immediately cuts into him with a knife edge chop, which receives an echoing "Ooh!" from the crowd, then begins to punch him repeatedly in the gut. Fallout jolts with every blow, and he's just about to tag out to escape the predicament when Axis mysteriously stops...due to Raynor wrapping him up in a schoolboy pin from behind!)

 

1...

 

2-No! Axis pops his shoulders up and both men quickly scramble to their feet. Fallout makes his way toward Raynor, whose back is turned and facing Axis, and deftly wraps his arm around Chris's neck. With one swift movement, he drops to the mat and brings Raynor with him, startling the big man as the back of his head slams to the ring!

 

Curry: Reverse DDT by Fallout, but here comes Axis!

 

(Fallout bounds back to his own feet to find Axis hurtling towards him, but he quickly ducks and sidesteps, causing the Australian's momentum to propel him past both Fallout and the fallen Raynor and against the ropes. He returns and the sheer velocity of a superkick prepared by Fallout gives him no time to react, he crumples and falls as well. The crowd responds with an immediate "Oh!" as the blood curdling sound of the boot to the jaw echoes all the way up to the cheap seats.)

 

NTD: Ouch! A ferocious kick from Fallout, I am >so< glad I'm retired.

 

Jayson: Not like you'd get booked anyway...

 

NTD: But that isn't up to you anymore, is it?

 

(Jayson, taking offense to NTD's snide retort, smacks him upside the head just as Raynor rises and does the same to Fallout. Fallout, more insulted than injured, turns and levels Raynor with a series of snapping punches, each one coming stronger and faster. As soon as Raynor hits the mat, Fallout starts stomping away at him relentessly, his unforgiving boot introducing and re-introducing itself to Raynor's gut and chest. The crowd begins to jeer the leader of Prime Evil, but that is soon replaced by a cheer as Axis comes from behind and wraps his arm around Fallout's midsection, preparing for a German suplex. His plan doesn't quite come to fruition, though, as Fallout sends an elbow, then another one, into Axis's face. Axis loses his grip and Fallout turns with his fingers clutched tightly. His fist slams into Axis's face, and Axis staggers back against the ropes. Fallout turns his back to Raynor, and prepares to brawl with the veteran. Axis immediately senses the larger threat and he charges Fallout, and the two trade right hands. Fallout manages to get the upper hand for just a moment, giving him time to grab Axis around the neck and toss him like a rag doll into the Prime Evil corner! Suddenly, Fallout is launched into the corner as well, squishing Axis hard into it! He stumbles out backwards and is caught in a double-arm chicken wing, then lifted up and slammed down in a Sparkplex!)

 

Curry: Neither of them saw the tag! Spark is in, and he's got an advantage, albeit a small one, over his current opponents!

 

(Spark gives Fallout no chance to recover, picking him right back up off the mat and whipping him into the ropes. Fallout ducks a clothesline and rockets to the other side of the ring, where the King of Hearts gives him a kick in the back! Fallout stumbles forward, caught off guard, and Spark rears up, leaps forward, and delivers a spinning kick, connecting right on Fallout's forehead and sending him down hard to the mat! Spark covers!)

 

1....

 

2....

 

3- NO! Axis dives from the corner and double axe-handle's Spark on the back, breaking the count! He then picks Spark up, but immediately he's hit with a hard right hand! A second and third send Axis reeling back to the PU corner, and Spark charges and connects with a charging knee! Axis doubles over, and Spark grabs his head, drags him out to the center of the ring, and nails a DDT! He then drops down to cover him!

 

1....

 

2....

 

3- NO! It's Fallout this time who breaks the count! He drags Spark off of Axis and they both get to their feet, and once again Spark lays into him with stiff right hands!

 

Curry: Wow, Spark is really holding his own here!

 

(Spark beats Fallout down in the neutral corner when Axis attacks from behind! Spark's head snaps off the top turnbuckle, and Axis grabs his neck from behind and falls for a neckbreaker, putting the Carnival's fire on ice. Spark rolls out of the ring, landing on the mats outside the neutral corner. Axis then turns his attention to Fallout, picking him up and bending him over, pulling his arm between his legs! Axis lifts him up over his shoulder, then slams him down with authority!)

 

Curry: Pumphandle powerslam, and now Axis is back in control!

 

Jayson: Look at that wuss Spark! One wittle bitty neckbreaker and he's out like a light!

 

(Spark is still on the outside, pulling on the apron to get to his feet. In the ring, Axis picks Fallout up again, and he whips him into the Phoenix Uprising corner! He then charges at ELM and Silencer, knocking them off the apron while Rane chokes Fallout out of the ref's view! Fallout is heaved back to Axis, who kicks him in the gut, shoves his head between his legs, and raises him up in the Powerbomb position! The fans go nuts as Axis waves his hand a little, which proves to be a bad idea, as Fallout takes advantage of his loose hold, wrapping his arm and Axis's head and pushing himself off, falling down to the mat driving Axis's head into it!)

 

NTD: WOW! Factor Bomb countered into the Meltdown! He's got him!

 

Curry: That's a first in my book!

 

(Fallout grabs the ropes and quickly pulls himself up. He spots Axis and heads over to him, drops to his knees for a pin, and is suddenly jerked back! Spark grabs hold of Fallout's hair and pulls him back to the ropes, then heaves him over the top!)

 

Jayson: He was playing possum on the outside! That neckbreaker did squat!

 

(Spark quickly pounces on Axis, stealing the cover!)

 

1....

 

2....

 

THREE! The ref signals for the first bell of the fight!

 

Curry: They've done it! The Midnight Carnival has captured the Stable's Titles from Prime Evil!

 

Jayson: Fallout was robbed! ... I'm not complaining, though!

 

Funyon: The winners of the first fall, and NEW IGNWF Stable's Champions... The Midniiiiight Caaaaarnivaaaal!

 

(Spark leaps victoriously to his feet, but is immediately brought down my Magnifico and Silencer! The King of Hearts and Chris Raynor charge into the ring after them, and once again the match erupts in a brawl! Comet risks injury by leaping over the ropes and grabbing Axis's arm, dragging him to the Phoenix Uprising corner, and Rane tags himself in! The ref calls it legal, and the fans explode as the monster steps over the ropes and goes to work! He grabs the Silencer by the seat of his pants and heaves him over the top! He grabs Chris Raynor and El Luchadore Magnifico and bashes their heads together, then pushes them one after another through the ropes! He then makes a swipe at the King, who wisely drops down and rolls under the ropes to his corner. Axis, still dazed and gasping for air, simply stares up at the bright lights as Spark circles the ring, trying to avoid direct contact with the big man. He retreats back to the Carnival corner, and after a few seconds of consideration reaches over and tags in the King of Hearts. A cheer ripples through the crowd as King of Hearts climbs through the ropes, and another one goes up as Rane knocks him down with a big boot just as quickly.)

 

Curry: That didn't work too well.

 

(Rane lifts up the King and hurls him into the neutral corner, then he heads off to the opposite end of the ring. He raises an arm to the fans, then points to the King, and prepares to charg-)

 

Curry: Fallout! It's Fallout, and Rane doesn't see him!

 

(Fallout has scaled the Prime Evil turnbuckle behind Rane! He takes a moment to get his balance, then he leaps off, connecting with a missile dropkick to the back of Rane's head! The seven-footer goes down hard! The King of Hearts gets to his feet in the neutral corner, and he signals for Fallout to continue the assault as he ascends the turnbuckle.)

 

Curry: For two groups who have had a few run-ins before, these two sure don't mind working together tonight...

 

(The King reaches the top of the post, and he wastes no time in leaping off, landing an elbow across Rane's throat! The big man rolls away from his attackers, holding his neck and gasping for air, but Fallout and King are quick to attack once more. They each take an arm, lift up Rane, and heave him into the Prime Evil corner, where King follows up with a running knee and Fallout a splash! Fallout then slaps the hand of the Silencer, giving him his first outing into the match. He and the King again take Rane and launch him across the ring into the opposite turnbuckle. Silencer charges and nails him with a clothesline, and the King of Hearts follows up early with one of his own, nailing the Silencer from behind and pushing him hard into Rane! The Silencer stumbles out backwards and gets caught in a German Suplex, and Rane collapses to the mat as well! The King rolls over for a cover!)

 

1....

 

2...- NO! Silencer gets the shoulder up, not ready to go just yet!

 

(The King takes his time getting back to his feet, considering who his next target should be. He decides on the Silencer, and starts stomping him down to keep him from recovering. Across the ring, Rane grabs the ropes and slowly starts to pull himself up. He manages to get to his feet, and he slowly hobbles across the ring towards his corner, leaning on the ropes, when the Silencer is launched into him, and the two flip over the ropes and land in a heap on the ground! The King has a grin on his face again, and the crowd roars with approval!)

 

(On the outside, Fallout and Magnifico start towards the Phoenix Uprising corner to help their buddy when Cyclone Comet leaps off the stairs and lands right in front of them! He holds out his hand in a "STOP" gesture and they leap back, more startled than afraid. Comet places his hands on his hips and turns to the crowd, nailing another beautiful hero pose, and Magnifico makes the mistake of charging! Comet ducks at the last second and back drops him onto the stairs! Fallout runs at him as well, but Comet sidesteps him and pushes him into the guard rails! He brings the two evildoers back to their feet and drags them, one in each hand, to the Prime Evil corner, then wipes his hands together signaling a job well done!)

 

(Rane has gotten back to his feet and he rolls in the ring where the King of Hearts is waiting. He immediately boots Rane to the mat, and after a few more stomps, he picks him up by the arm and drags him towards the Midnight Carnival corner. KoH climbs up the turnbuckle, then walks the ropes while his partners and the audience cheer him on! He then leaps back off the ropes, snapping Rane's arm across the top one and landing safely himself on the outside! He turns around and panders to the crowd, and unbeknownst to him, the Silencer rolls into the ring and crawls slowly over the fallen monster!)

 

1....

 

(The King takes notice of the count and he dives back into the ring!)

 

2....

 

Thr- Rane's shoulder shoots up just as the King brings an elbow down across the Silencer's back! The Silent one rolls out of the cover, and the King wastes no time in pummeling him down in the Midnight Carnival corner. He slaps the hand of stablemate Raynor, then whips Silencer into the ropes as his partner enters the ring. As Silencer heads back, the King ducks down and lifts him up, putting a little more *oomph* into it at the end to make him do a 180! The King then shoots his arms up, grabbing Silencer's head from behind, and Raynor dives forward, grabbing his legs and slamming him down!)

 

Curry: WOW! A neckbreaker-powerbomb combo! These guys are pulling out all the stops!

 

(Raynor drops down for a cover!)

 

1....

 

2...- Silencer kicks out, with a surprising amount of power left in him!

 

(Rane meanwhile has staggered back to his friendly corner, surprisingly winded at the last exchange and tags in Cyclooooone Comet to a huge pop from the crowd! The King exits the ring after the successful double team, leaving Raynor over the recovering Silencer pondering his next move, only to be quickly and efficiently taken out of the equation by the Champion of Justice with a flying shoulder block to the back! Raynor is launched across the ring, bouncing off the ropes and back to the mat with a shocked, pained look on his face... Comet, an equal opportunity super hero, immediately drags the Silencer upright and whips him into the ropes... bounce back and the Silencer eats a calf kick from the Dextrous Defender, snapping his head back like a car accident! Comet poses over his downed antagonist, raising one leg high into the air in a vertical splits position before bringing it crashing down onto the helpless Silencer!)

 

Curry: Listen to that crowd! Comet is taking it to the Silencer and Raynor and this capacity crowd is loving every second of it!

 

(Raynor has shaken the cobwebs clear of his head and goes to rejoin the fray only to have his clock cleaned once again, this time by a superkick from CC! Down goes Raynor as CC rolls for the pin on the equally hurting Silencer...)

 

1...

 

2... Raynor makes the hot tag to Spark, who doesn't waste a second... leaping to the top rope Spark comes sailing off with a springboard splash on top of the two men, breaking the count and possibly Comet's spine!

 

NTD: Wait a second... now Comet AND Spark are pinning the Silencer!

 

(The ref looks very confused for a moment before shrugging and deciding to count anyway...)

 

1...

 

2- In an amazing display of resiliency the Silencer throws off both men, having had just about enough of a beatdown to satisfy him for the day!

 

Jayson: No matter how one feels about Prime Evil...

 

NTD: And that would be negatively!

 

Jayson: You have got to be impressed by the unrelenting malice of the Silencer! He's taken enough punishment to level some national forests but he just won't give up!

 

(The dogpile of three men disengages itself, Spark and CC exchanging knowing glances on the way up as they each grab an arm of the recovering Silencer... whip into the ropes, bounce back and the Silencer ducks under the double team clothesline attempt by the do-gooders! Bounce back again and this time the forces of good watch in shock as the Silencer takes to the air, landing a split-legged dropkick that knocks both men down to the mat hard! The Silencer is pumped and ready, immediately back to his feet and continuing the assault on Spark and CC, alternating punches between the parallel prone men! He lifts CC up, grabbing the stunned super hero and hooking his leg with his own before planting Comet face first into the mat with the Upgrade!! Comet bounces limply... but the Silencer has already turned his attention back to Spark, who is just now regaining his footing... the Silencer grabs him in an Irish whip, REVERSAL BY SPARK... the Silencer bounces off the rope and comes rushing back to the angry Sparkster, who unfortunately drops his head for the back body drop just a second too early... SILENT DDT!!!)

 

Curry: Sparky telegraphed it and he paid the price!

 

NTD: The Silencer may be new but he ain't stupid!

 

(The Silencer stands alone in the ring, triumphant, and the crowd gives gim enough heat to melt the icecaps! His only response is a sinister sneer as he once again turns his attention to Comet... a quick lift later, and CC is whipped into the PE corner, impacting chest first off the turnbuckles!)

 

Curry: Uh oh... Comet is definitely on hostile ground!

 

(CC staggers back painfully, avoiding the wayward fist sent his way by Fallout... he turns just in time to get a boot to the gut by the approaching Silencer! The Silencer quickly takes control of the situation, turning his back to his corner so he and his teammates can watch the other two teams as he applies the standing head scissors... hooks one arm... then the other!)

 

NTD: Sealed Fate! If he lands this it's nighty night Comet!

 

(The Silencer lifts Comet high into the air in preparation to bring him crashing back to the earth, but at the apex Comet slips free, landing behind the Silencer and in front of a shocked Magnifico and Fallout! Running on instinct CC runs up the turnbuckles, kicking away the evil clutches of PE that seek to restrain him, and flips over the confused Silencer, grabbing his head on the way over...)

 

Curry: CYCLOTRON!!!!

 

(Comet weakly throws an arm over the Silencer and the ref drops to count!)

 

1...

 

2...

 

Th- Fallout dives in and breaks up the count with a vicious stomp, adding in several more just to make sure! Axis and Rane quickly enter the ring to defend their fallen friend and, following standard referee training, the official immediately runs over to them to ensure that they don't interfere thus allowing Fallout's interference to continue unmitigated!

 

Curry: Where did you hire these guys Jayson? Did they take a refereeing correspondence course?!

 

Jayson: Look, *you* try running a multi-million dollar company and still hiring refs who know what they're doing! C'mon... their only job qualification is being able to count to three or ten, and knowing when to do which!

 

NTD: And how hard can that be, really?

 

(Axis and Rane are attempting to use logic to appeal to the ref, which hardly ever works... finally giving up they exit the ring when they see a recovered Spark approaching Fallout from his blind side... and chucking him right out of the ring! Spark drops for the count on the Silencer, still apparently out of it from the earlier Cyclotron...)

 

1...

 

2...

 

Thr- The Silencer kicks out! Spark looks on in disbelief, having viewed the punishment he took firsthand!

 

Jayson: Too much time... the Silencer may not know where he is right now, but he knows that shoulders to the mat is very, very bad!

 

NTD: Maybe so, but the Silencer has been in that ring for a long while now, and he's taken an awful beating! He has got to make a tag and I doubt Spark will let him!

 

(Spark drags the sack of potatoes formerly known as the Silencer over to his corner and tags a refreshed Raynor back in, exposing the Silencer's ribs for a brutal kick! Raynor takes over and whips the Silencer into the ropes, bounce back and the Silencer runs right into an inverse atomic drop! Raynor pumps his fist into the air and signals to the crows that the Acid Rayn is on the way... the crowd explodes into life as Rane looks distinctly uncomfortable in his corner...)

 

Jayson: Acid Rayn, Acid Rane.... I swear, you think that between the two of them they could come up with another clever little name for their moves!

 

NTD: (pauses) How did you do that?! You made them sound entirely different!

 

Jayson: Shaddap.

 

(Raynor lifts the Silencer up under the arms and prepares to bring him down... when Comet dives out of nowhere, catching Raynor in a drop toe hold! Raynor goes down hard and the Silencer lands right on top of his back, thankfully bouncing off of it and out of a pinning predicament! Half of the crowd chuckles as the other half winces in sympathy at the impact... the Silencer rolls back to his corner and tries to stand, managing to get back to his knees... Comet and Raynor are exchanging rights to the delight of the crowd, neither man seemingly able to get the better of the other! In his corner the Silencer finally stands fully upright... Fallout signals for the tag, but the Silencer brushes him off with an angry snarl, determined to go get his pound of flesh from the brawling do-gooders! CC and Raynor are still exchanging blows, the pace having slowed from mutual exhaustion... and both men are floored by the Silencer's double clothesline!)

 

Curry: I don't think this is such a wise move by the Silencer...

 

NTD: Heck, if he can take the punishment more power to him!

 

(The Silencer is obviously enjoying himself as he puts the boot in to both men... he lifts up Comet and grabs him around the neck in a vertical suplex position, raising him up and bringing him down hard in the MegaHurtz forward suplex! Comet lands like a sack of wet clothes, laying there weakly and moving only slightly... Turning his attention to Raynor now, the Silencer begins a meticulous, almost surgically precise series of punches to the side of his head, each disconnecting Chris further and further from reality...lifting him up the Silencer grabs an arm and looks toward his corner, where Magnifico and Fallout look on with sadistic glee! Fallout gestures that the Silencer should bring Raynor over and he obliges, firing Chris into the corner with an Irish whip and dropping to his knees from the force! Raynor slams into the turnbuckles and drops hard, blissfully ignorant of Fallout and Magnifico stepping through the ropes as the Silencer approaches from behind...)

 

Curry: I was wondering how long it would take Prime Evil to decide that the rules really weren't that important after all!

 

Jayson: They decided that before the match started... like any good cowards, they were biding their time, waiting for their opponent's moment of weakness!

 

(Spark and the King dash into the ring and over to the Prime Evil corner, where Silencer and Fallout are beating down their partner! El Luchadore Magnifico manages to head off Spark, and the two start brawling in the center of the ring. King makes it to the Prime Evil corner and knocks Silencer over the top rope! He and Fallout then start trading right hands as Raynor slowly pulls himself up in the corner. All of Phoenix Uprising look on, Comet rolling to the outside to collect himself.)

 

Curry: And it's a brawl for all now between the Midnight Carnival and Prime Evil!

 

NTD: Prime Evil's already been robbed of their Stable's titles, but with some luck they'll walk away with the Tag belts...

 

(As if to drive the point home, Fallout drives King into the corner, and Raynor dives out of the way just in time! Fallout starts pummeling on the King with lefts and rights, and after a flurry of punches, he sends KoH over the top and out with a clothesline! Across the ring, ELM and Spark continue to go at it, seemingly oblivious of what's going on around them. Suddenly Fallout comes up behind Spark, whirls him around, and nails a boot right to his face! ELM nods to Fallout then starts stomping on Spark, eventually getting him to roll out of the ring Fallout turns his attention to the legal Carnival member, Raynor, as he stumbles to his feet. Fallout grabs Raynor by the seat of his pants, charges across the ring and heaves him over the top! Raynor flies through the air and lands with a sickening *THUD* on the hood of Prime Evil's Hearse!)

 

Jayson: Man, Fallout is cleaning house!

 

[still, Phoenix Uprising watches on, keeping tabs of who is legal and who is not, and waiting...]

 

(Raynor slowly starts rolling over on the hood of the car. Fallout glances at him, then gets a sick sick grin on his face!)

 

Curry: Uh oh... what's he planning?

 

(Fallout steps through the ropes on to the apron, then hops over on top of the hood of the Hearse next to Raynor. He picks up Raynor and hooks his head under his arm...)

 

Curry: No...

 

Jayson: Yes...

 

(He backs up a few steps and looks behind himself, checking his position...)

 

Curry: No!

 

Jayson: Yes!

 

(And he grabs a handful of tights, lifting Raynor up and driving him down backwards hard, hitting the Meltdown on Raynor ON THE WINDSHIELD! RAYNOR GOES FACE FIRST THROUGH THE GLASS, SINKING INTO THE CAR UNTIL HIS HEAD IS NO LONGER VISIBLE!)

 

Curry: NO!

 

Jayson: YES!

 

(Fallout rolls off of the hood, and the camera gets one good shot of Raynor before quickly jerking the view back to the ring! The King of Hearts, now recovered, rushes over to the car and his face goes pale! He starts yelling at the cameraman and all handy staffpersons to get some help when Fallout nails him from behind!)

 

Curry: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, CHRIS RAYNOR IS A BLOODY MESS!

 

Jayson: I LOVE IT!

 

(Another cameraman works up the nerve to head over to the Hearse and get a shot: Chris Raynor is lying, unmoving, on the hood of the car, with his neck up through a large, jagged, bloody hole in the glass windshield! The camera pans back up to see Cyclone Comet standing next to Raynor, looking incredibly upset. He yells at the cameraman, who drops the camera and hauls ass up the ramp to the back! Comet starts pacing frantically, not sure what he should do!)

 

Curry: Somebody get out here, we need help NOW!

 

(Fallout and King continue to brawl on the outside. Comet's head swings around frantically until he finds the Prime Evil leader! His eyes go wide and he starts shaking, harder and harder, and he finally snaps, charging at Fallout and nailing him from behind! The King dodges as Fallout collapses to the mats, and Comet frantically starts pummeling him! King surveys his surroundings to see ELM and Spark still dueling, Axis waving in help, and Rane standing, not sure what to do. King dashes over to Spark and begins nailing ELM with a few extra shots, and MC gets the advantage.)

 

[The scene around the ring right now is one of sheer panic. Officials dash frantically up and down the ramp and around the ring; the referee is stop-starting back and forth, not sure what he can or should do; finally, some EMT's appear from under the IGNTron, rolling out a stretcher.

 

(King grabs an arm of ELM and Spark grabs they other, and they sling Magnifico hard into the guardrail. King informs Spark of the goings on, and they start back for the car when suddenly, Silencer pops into view next to the Hearse! Having snuck past pretty much everybody, he hops up on the hood next to Raynor's unmoving body and starts stomping on him!)

 

Curry: NO! For God's sake, someone STOP THIS!

 

(Silencer keeps at it, and a grin slowly creeps across his face, when all of a sudden he's spun around from behind! Rane' huge hand clamps around his throat, and in one swift motion, Silencer is heaved single-handedly over the top rope into the ring! He stumbles confusedly to his feet, and he tries to retreat across the ring, but he runs straight into Cyclone Comet! Silencer backs away and tries to talk his way out of it, but Comet has none of it, and he attacks with ferocity! Silencer is beaten to the mat, and his head is pummeled with a non stop stream of fists!)

 

[spark has made his way to the Hearse, where he weaves in and out of the maze of EMT's and officials to get next to his friend.]

 

(The King of Hearts tries an alternate route to get to the car, and he approaches Fallout getting to his feet. In a flash, his face twists in anger and he charges, knocking Fallout flat on his back! He then drops down and starts pummeling him! In the ring, Comet continues his barrage on Silencer, and after almost a dozen more shots, he rolls him over onto his stomach, stands on his legs, grabs his arms and pulls back, stretching him hard! Silencer screams loudly, and frantically tries to break the hold, but Comet just locks it in tighter!)

 

Curry: Comet could snap him in half, and I don't think he cares at this point! And WHY THE HELL are you smiling, Jayson?!

 

Jayson: I hate ALL of these guys, this is great!

 

(Silencer screams even louder than before, but Comet just tightens his hold and leans back as far and hard as he can! The ref is still not sure what he should be doing, but his gaze falls upon the Comet and Silencer, and he dashes over to them. Silencer sees him and starts nodding frantically, yelling "YES!" before the ref even asks the question. The ref signals for the bell, then rolls out of the ring and runs up the ramp to fetch more help.)

 

Funyon: The winners of the second fall, and STILL IGNWF Tag Team Champions... Rane and Cyclone Comet.... Phoeniiiiix Uprising!

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Argh, two-post match, sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

[Nobody notices or cares at this point. A flood of medical personal now surround the Hearse, some trying to break a bigger hole in the windshield to make room, others preparing the stretcher. Soon the hole is wide enough to slip Raynor's head safely through, and they quickly load him on. Spark is next to it the whole time, looking absolutely beside himself. The referee suddenly dashes back down to ringside with a few others behind him, and they clear everyone but the EMT's from the ramp. They quickly wheel Raynor up the ramp towards the back, and Spark yells out for the King, who has yet to relent on Fallout. Upon seeing what's happening, King nails him one last time as hard as he possibly can, then he stands and dashes up the ramp to accompany his friends. Rane and Axis look incredibly worried, but they do so at a distance. Rane turns around to look for Comet, who he sees is STILL pulling on Silencer! Rane rolls into the ring and pulls him off, and he and Axis have to restrain him from attacking again! Fallout lays motionless on his stomach, El Luchadore Magnifico is pulling himself up on the guard rail, and the Silencer isn't moving in the ring. Comet finally stops struggling against his friends, and they slowly head back towards the ramp. Comet breaks ahead of the group, running up the ramp to the back to catch up with the stretcher, and Axis and Rane are caught up in the sea of officials who are ascending the ramp as well.]

 

Curry: My God, I can not believe what we have just seen here... I apologize to you viewers for having to see that...

 

Jayson: Don't apologize! That was-

 

Curry: For God's sake, Jayson, shut up!

 

NTD: Dude, seriously, this isn't funny.

 

Jayson: ...

 

Curry: We'll get an update for you as soon as possible on Chris Raynor's condition... I-... I just can't believe how far Prime Evil went with this... it's a sad day here in the WF...

 

[All three of them are silent for a while as the ringside area empties. ELM manages to walk under his own power, and he hobbles over to Fallout, who is just coming to. A few more officials dash down to ringside, one of them pushing the Pepsi Max machine off to the guard rail, two others pushing the golf cart up the ramp, and a few more begin sweeping up any bits of glass on the ground.]

 

Curry: And as bad as this is... the show must go on... as soon as we can get through all of this, we still have two more matches for you, providing Divefire doesn't call off the rest of the card... Man...

 

[Another official heads down the ramp with a key in hand. He opens the door to the Hearse and sweeps the glass off the seats, then starts it up and slowly maneuvers it up the ramp into the back. Most of the officials have finished their designated task at the moment and they head back up the ramp. Fallout and Magnifico manage to limp to the ring, and are under HEAVY crowd heat. Beer cans, empty food cartons, full food cartons, anything and everything is being tossed at them.]

 

Curry: ... I've just received word that the two matches left WILL go on, as soon as all of this is cleared away... Cut to a promo package, something... anything...

 

[After a few more seconds of showing Prime Evil regrouping, the IGNTron and TV screens across the globe cut to a hype package for the Triple Threat ICTV match.]