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WWE Heat Recap: January 26th, 2003

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Guest TSMAdmin

Hey yo...


I’ve got some great feedback from my latest column, 2002: The Year in Crap. Before I get to my Heat recap, I’ve got some mail to answer regarding that column. Thanks to everyone who read the column, and especially to those who sent me feedback via email.


---First Letter---

Hello Pete. Long-time reader (of the whole smart marks site, not just you), first-time writer (to anyone on the site). I loved your column on the crap that was 2002. You managed to express what I was feeling, only much more bitterly. So thank you for the mental cleansing provided from your column. I do wonder though--shouldn't HLA have been on your list too? Especially the "payoff" of the angle at Unforgiven. *Shudder* I'm a loyal Jerichoholic so I can think of a few other Y2J-centric things that were crap. When half the crew was in Asia in March and Stephanie claimed that Jericho was driving around finding her skin cream--then on the very next SD! they showed us highlights of the tour with Jericho prominently featured while he was supposedly halfway around the world looking for skin cream. Jericho going from being in the main event at WrestleMania (realistically, Hogan/Rock should've been the main but anyway) to not even having a match at the next PPV! *sigh* Losing to HHH in the HITC match for no apparent reason--especially since pins on top of the Cell have never counted before. I think you covered jobbing to Cena and Flair for no good reason. Agreed completely on Stephanie as GM although there is a very lame loophole they could have used--Stephanie was banned from WWF TV so when it changed to WWE, her ban was rescinded. Totally lame but at least it would have been some sort of explanation. Heyman or Shane would have been great choices--for some reason I think Jim Cornette would have been a good choice too although I know he's too busy with OVW. If I saw James E. Cornette on my screen, not only would I be guaranteed great mic work, but I would have no problem automatically thinking of SD! as the "wrestling" show. Wow, I have pontificated exponentially, haven't I? Sorry 'bout that. *sheepish grin* Anyway, keep up the good work and I look forward to a report from you on the Parade O'Crap that was the RAW 10th Anniversary Show (Sunny not top Diva my ass!).

Yours Truly,

Darryl Stewart



I still can’t believe I forgot to mention HLA. I should be slapped for that one. How could I forget an angle that involved Rikishi cross dressing and making out with Stephanie McMahon?


I totally forgot about the skin cream thing up until now. Thanks for bringing that one up again. Yeesh, or maybe not. Bad memories.


As for Steph... that would have been a lame explanation, but yes, it’d be some sort of explanation. I guess that’s better than nothing. I’d have liked to have seen Shane as GM, personally, though Heyman would have been cool, merely for the fact that Heyman and Bischoff would BOTH be authority figures in WWE at the same time. Cornette would have ruled too.


Mmmm... Sunny. Well, pre 1999 Sunny. She’s quite nasty now.


---Next Letter---

Well, you pretty much knocked the nail straight into

Katie Vick's coffin. Every shimmer of hope was quickly



It's funny how Smackdown is regarded as being the

better brand when Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Brock

Lesnar, the Undertaker, Big Show, etc. all started

off on RAW. So obviously, the problem isn't with the

workers,(except for maybe the Big Show...c'mon, the

Undertaker pulled out a few entertaining matches this

year...) so where is the problem on Raw if they

couldn't find an entertaining story line for Benoit

and Guerrero?


Why couldn't the IC title and Euro title have morphed

into TV titles for both shows respectfully. Then let

the World, Women's, and Tag Champs hop back and

forth...who cares anymore?


And to think, this all could have been avoided if on

that fateful night back in '01, Paul Heyman announced

Stephanie McMahon as the new owner of Extreme

Championship Wrestling, only to have Tazz choke her

out in the Tazmission. Then Vince could have exiled

her from television for treason. The Alliance could

have eventually taken over the Smackdown slot, you'd

have two different brands. A lot more interesting

than just Raw vs. SD in my opinion at least.


Oh well. Hopefully the NWA-TNA will figure out a way

to entertain without the retarded Sports Entertainment

Xtreme moniker.


What would have been so wrong with Kane coming back to

the WWE with his head wrapped in bandages? Instead of

being the retarded Kane, he could be the Elephant Man

Monster that just wants his mask back...his mask that

X-Pac stole.


Triple H could say, "Hey Kane, you looking for this?

A friend sent it up from down South." (Referring to

Syxx Pac when he was still a part of TNA.)


Right there, a feud that can draw heat. Not a damned Necrophilia angle.


2002, the year of a million mistakes




I feel the same way about the belts.

I’d set things up like:


US champion

Hardcore Champion



Intercontinental Champion

Crusierweight Champion



World Title




That set-up is pretty flawed as well, actually. Mainly because one show gets slighted in title feuds every month. Eh... I guess I do like the idea of two world titles then. They sure as hell do need a midcard title on both shows though.


The idea of an Alliance show is pretty cool, but I doubt a heel promotion would do too well in the ratings department. That’d make all the WWE wrestlers faces by default as well, and that wouldn’t work. RAW vs. Smackdown works for me, I guess, even if Smackdown is clearly superior.


Kane dressed as The Yeti... you truly are a Wrestlecrapper!


---Next Letter---

I totally agree with everything that you wrote about but I feel that you left out some things


1. HLA- stupid attempt to spike rating w/ crappy Shock angles that just plain sucked.


2. I also remember reading somewhere about them wanting to make the IC title

the main title on Raw but, Triple H felt that it was beneath him so he had it "retired".


Other than that great article.

-Michael Mingione



Yeah, I really missed out with another entry with the HLA angle, as you can see. I should have included HHH’s feelings on the IC title in there somewhere as well too.


---Next Letter---

Hey Pete, got some comments:

The section about the nWo in reference to Austin is a little unclear. You make it sound like Austin lost.


Hogan has faded pretty deep into obscurity. Not only does he do 10-10-220 commercials with Alf, but he also does one with Mike "I'm Not Gay" Piazza and another with Terry Bradshaw (Where Bradshaw is trying to learn ballet. Boy, a bad Hogan movie idea reused here????)


About Big Show, he won the belt when Heyman turned on Brock and has only really been getting reactions due to Heyman.


About X-Pac, he was trying to avoid Russo and TNA claimed Russo wasn't working for them, so X-Pac got pissed and left.


On Michaels, remember him trying to make the Necrophilia idea look bad?


On Bradshaw, the hard on has been there for 98.. Boy, some things never change. And his hardcore belt had the Texas flag.. Yeah that makes it better, or something..


On the Jackie Gayda abomination, Trish actually went for her Stratus-faction finisher, and that's where the mess up came.


Stephanie as SD GM hasn't been that bad at least, as she hasn't gone to her whiny voice too much and she's no longer using the ugly hair look.


You could point to Brock Lesnar sucking until that match with The Rock also as a big man sucking. Up until that point he was built as any of their other big men. And Nathan Jones wasn't really 2002, and what we saw of him in 2002 was good promos and not his horrible ring work.


The blue stuff that barber shops use? Barbicide, I believe. Let's not forget when he drank Taker's spit, taker was chewing his normal tobacco chew.


Wow, it was a rather bad year. Hopefully WWE listens to fans this






Let’s see...


About Austin. I wasn’t saying he physically LOST to Scott Hall, I was just saying his spot in the company, was sacrificed in favor of the nWo. Austin’s feelings and his character were set aside in favor of the nWold.


All that 10-10-220 commercial is missing is Hogan wearing a tu-tu.


Gayda had two major messups in that match, if I recall. Was it the Stratusfaction she was going for when she fucked up on the ropes? I couldn’t remember. The second was when she sold Trish’s bulldog off the top, even though NO CONTACT was made. Sort of like Jericho hitting Stacy with a steel chair. No contact, but sold anyway.


Brock was pretty crappy up until Summerslam. He was in the right place at the right time... ANYONE with any shred of credibility that would beat The Rock that night would have gotten hella over as a face. Lesnar isn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination, but he hasn’t had any great matches yet. Wrestlemania should be his time to shine. Who doesn’t have good matches with Kurt Angle, though?


Oh, and my opinions on Nathan Jones we re merely a look into the future, rather than an evaluation of his promos in WWE in 2002.



Thanks again for all the mail, guys.


Onto the Heat report. This Heat will probably be the lowest rated Heat of the year, which is a shame, because CHRISTIAN is on this week! I think people were SLIGHTLY more interested in the Super Bowl though.


Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve done a Heat recap. A whole month, I think. Let’s see... 3 weeks ago was a recap of The Best of 2002. 2 weeks ago I missed the show. Last week was PPV week. Yeah, that’s a whole month. Mark this one down as the first Heat recap of the New Year.


Your hosts are, as always, Jonathan Coachman and Lita.


Our first match for the evening is...


Molly Holly vs. Jacqueline

Whoa, I was wondering where Molly had been. She hasn’t been on TV in seemingly MONTHS, despite being one of, if not the most talented female wrestler on the roster; yet her no talent, no charisma, giant titted opponent has been on RAW regularly. What a disgrace.


Now, to be honest with you guys, I missed this one. I was watching the Super Bowl (along with nearly everyone else in America), and forgot to set my VCR timer until halfway through this match. Eh, it’d have probably been a *1/2 star match, if I had seen it. Oh, and Molly won. Hopefully that Jackie push is over, because she’s got nothing, except the fact that she’s from Texas, which goes a long way in WWE today, doesn’t it?


Tough Enough I alumnists Chris Nowinski and Maven square off in tonight’s main event.


A Nathan Jones promo airs. Awesome vignette, but from what I’ve seen of him, he can’t back it up in the ring. He wrestles like Test... in slow motion (Yes, I realize Test is already slow). Or Kurrgan. Take your pick.


Sweet, here comes Rico. Ah, his opponent is a returning jobber, Aaron Stevens.


Match Two: Rico vs. Aaron Stevens

Tieup to start, waistlock by Rico, and a love tap kick to Stevens’ ass to get the crowd pissed off. A Rico sucks chant fills the arena. Side headlock by Rico, and a shove to the mat. Rico goes for a tieup, but Stevens moves out of the way and takes him down with an armdrag. Stevens kicks Rico in the ass softly, imitating Rico’s earlier kick. Nice dropkick by Stevens for two. Bulldog off the top rope by Rico, followed by a short arm clothesline. Rico goes to work on Stevens in the corner with some kicks, and a spin kick off the second rope for two. Snapmare by Stevens, followed by some brawling and a flying forearm. Two clothesline by Stevens follow, followed by a flipping neckbreaker, Shannon Moore style. A strange neckbreaker-like move from Stevens follows, but Rico kicks out, and hits the spinning heel kick for the win. Good effort by both guys. Stevens looks like he’s got some potential.



Tough Enough Final Recap:

WWE owed this one to us after the debacle that was Tough Enough II.


Royal Rumble Recap:

Jericho and Christian fake out Shawn Michaels. Michaels’ early elimination was a real surprise, but hell, what a slick move by Jericho. I’m still insanely pissed that Test eliminated Jericho. I now hate Test.


RAW Recap: Jericho hits the ring post with a steel chair

Poor ring post. Poor Stacy, too. She was knocked out by the loud clanging of the steel chair hitting the ring post. Stacy suffered a concussion from the loud noise, but our hopes and prayers are with the ring post, which was sent into early retirement due to Chris Jericho’s heinous act.


RAW Recap: Jeff Hardy almost turns heel

Please, no. Don’t let Jeff turn heel. A heel turn would mean he’s getting some sort of push...


Here comes CHRISTIAN! Actually, I have mixed feelings about him being here on Heat. I like that he’s here to give me a HELLA entertaining guy to watch, but then again, he should NO DOUBT be on RAW. Oh, and GIVE THE MAN HIS PYRO BACK.


Match Three: Christian vs. Spike Dudley

I HATE SPIKE DUDLEY! GOD DAMN IT GET HIM OFF OF MY TV! Christian, please don’t sell any of his “offense.”


Tieup to start, with Spike getting backed into the corner. Christian charges at Spike, but Spike moves. Spike gestures to Christian that he is a crybaby, but Christian will hear none of it. He shoves Spike down, and poses like Shawn Michaels. Awesome. Side headlock by Spike, backed into the ropes. Drop toehold by Spike, and he slaps Christian in the back of the head a bunch of times. PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP! Spike whips Christian into the corner and goes to work beating his head on the second turnbuckle. Warning, ultra stupid move ahead. Spike does his retarded I’M GONNA RUN IN PLACE ON YOUR CHEST MOVE in the corner, to the delight of the obviously moronic crowd. Spike goes for another whip, but Christian reverse it and suplexes Spike to the rope. Spike rolls out of the ring. He climbs back on the apron, and Christian shoulder blocks him off, getting a good amount of heat from the crowd. Christian throws Spike back in the ring and stops away. He taunts to the crowd, drawing more heat. Stomachbuster by Christian for two. Spike tries to brawl out of it, but he’s out brawled by Christian. Clothesline by Spike, followed by a whip, reversed by Christian, but Spike hits a forearm and bulldog, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Christian kills Spike’s momentum with a reverse DDT for two. Christian chokes Spike across the second rope, and breaks after four. Christian sets Spike up for another inverted DDT, but Spike kicks out. Christian whips Spike over the top rope, but Spike hangs on and stays on the apron. He climbs to the top rope and tries to catch Christian off guard, but Christian sees Spike there and hits him with a punch to the midsection. Christian tries for a superplex, but Spike bites him and hits his retarded JUMP OFF THE TOP ROPE AND LAND ON YOUR CHEST WITH BOTH FEET move for two. Spike beats his chest like the Warrior, much to my disgust. TEN PUNCHES OF DOOM by Spike, but Hebner breaks it up. Spike tries for the Dudley dog, but Christian tosses Spike off, and pins Spike with both feet on the rope.



Sean O’Haire Promo:

His promo on the church and god aired. Good stuff. O’Haire’s vignettes have ruled thus far, and have really gotten me into seeing him wrestle again.


RAW Recap: Triple H vs. Scott Steiner II announced for No Way Out; Scott Steiner vs. Batista; 4 Hossman



Extreme Blast of the Night:

Austin to return at No Way Out? Oh, and Austin gives his side of the story in this month's RAW magazine. I'll be checking that one out, no doubt.


Main Event: Tough Enough Brawl: Chris Nowinski vs. Maven

Tieup to start, headlock by Nowinski. Hammerlock by Nowinski, shove off. Waistlock by Nowinski, reversal by Maven. Headlock takedown by Nowinski, followed by a scoop slam... nope, Maven slips out and rolls Nowinski up for two. Small package by Maven for two. Side headlock by Maven, but he gets backed into the corner. Nowinski hits Maven with a clubbing right, but he gets whipped off the ropes. Nowinski decides he’s had enough and tries to leave the ring. Maven tries to pull him back in, but he gets stun gunned. Armbar takedown by Nowinski, followed by a legdrop to the arm, and an armbar. Maven tries to fight out, but Nowinski wrenches down. Nowinski turns it into a whip, but gets crossbodied for two. Maven uses the ropes to get up, but Nowinski hops over Maven and lands right on his arm. Nice psychology by Nowinski. Nowinski stomps on Maven’s arm, followed by an armbreaker for two. Another armbar by Nowinski, broken by Maven. Forearm by Maven taking Nowinski down. Baaaack body drop by Maven, and Nowinski pleads with him to stop. Maven hits a back suplex for two. Maven gets whipped to the second rope, and hits a missile dropkick for the win. Nowinski did a great job. Maven was a little off on offense, and the ending came a little quick, but not a bad match.




Your standard WWE Heat... except with Christian. Aaron Stevens has improved since his last Heat match, and we got the Tough Enough Brawl as the main event. Not bad at all.


Peter "FakeRazor" Ramoncolor>


As always, you can reach me here.


whacked Out wrestling


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