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WWE Heat Recap: February 2nd, 2003

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Guest TSMAdmin

Hey yo...


Another week, another Heat recap, but first...


Random Wrestling Thoughts:

Triple H is injured YET again. Jeez, the guy hardly ever wrestles on RAW anymore, and he can’t go a single PPV match without suffering some sort of injury which conveniently keeps him out of the ring until the next Pay Per View. Oh, and as for No Way Out, we’ll most likely be subjected to HHH Steiner part deux, much to the dismay of smart marks around the globe. Man, why can’t HHH ever have an injury that will keep him out for any length of time? Oh well, at least we only have to deal with him wrestling once a month, but we still have to put up with him taking up about a half hour of RAW time every week. The guy obviously has never been back at 100 percent, judging by his in ring work and his constant injuries. He needs to job the title and take some time off. I’m definitely no fan of the guy, much like most of you reading this column, but with some much needed rest, he’d be somewhat better in the ring.


The Road to Wrestlemania continues, and WWE is still banking on The Rock vs. Goldberg with The Rock vs. Austin as plan B. Apparently, The Rock might be calling it quits after his match with Goldberg at Backlash (should they sign Goldberg), which sucks in many ways. First, we’ll have to put up with Goldberg’s no talent ass in the company. When will WWE realize that they don’t need former washed up talent-less stars to bulk up the upper echelon of the roster when they’ve got such a talented roster to begin with? Secondly, if The Rock calls it quits after Backlash, Goldberg will get the rub of putting The Rock out of wrestling. That’s a huge feather in anyone’s cap, and Goldberg certainly isn’t the guy I’d waste it on. Goldberg has serious name value... why not give the rub to someone else and build a brand new star? That’d be too logical...


Nathan Jones is expected to come in as a face, though I’ve heard reports that something will set him off early into his WWE career and he’ll turn into a psychotic heel. I can see that happening. Jones can come in all calm and collected as a face, but someone will say the wrong thing to him, and he’ll totally snap and turn into a psychotic heel. I REALLY am not looking foward to Jones debut, as someone who’s seen the guy wrestle. He wrestles like Test, but slower. Yes, I realize that Test wrestles pretty slow himself. Yet another talent-less hoss to suck up more TV time. I mean, the guy already injured Matt Hardy in his first official house show match...


KAYFABE IS BACK! I feel bad for The Hurricane and Rico...


Eh, that’s all I’ve got to bitch about this week... so let’s get down to business.


Heat starts off with Goldust backstage. Steven Richards says he can’t believe that he has to wrestle a freak like Goldust. Goldust says that freaks are in this year, and WHACKOS are out. Wow, actual BUILDUP to a Heat match? To quote King of Heat alumnist, The Hurricane, “WHATSUPWITDAT?!?!”


Here comes Goldy to start things off. He gets a nice pop.


Your announcers, as always, are Jonathan Coachman and everyone’s XXXXX-TREEEEEME Diva, Lita.


Here comes Richards, without Victoria to some decent heat. This shouldn’t be too bad..


Opener: WHACKO Steven Richards vs. Goldust

Tie-up to start, and Richards breaks it. He taunts to the dismay of the crowd, but gets backed into the corner by Goldust. Hiptoss by Goldust, Irish whip, and an armdrag. Another armdrag by Goldust into a standing armbar. Arm wringer by Goldust, but he gets backed into the corner by Richards. Richards chops away in the corner, bu Goldust tosses Richards into the corner and hits him with some chops of his own. Richards whips Goldy to the buckle, and stomps away. Richards chokes Goldust over the top rope and breaks at 4. Cover by Richards for two. Chinlock by Richards to slow things down. Goldust elbows out, but gets a knee to the midsection and another chinlock from Richards. Goldust eventually fights to his feet and elbows out. Goldust goes off the ropes, Richards tries for a dropkick, but Goldust holds onto the top rope and Richards falls flat on his ass. Rollup by Goldust for two. Chokeslam by Goldust, and both guys are out. Eventually they get up and brawl back and forth, with Richards getting the advantage. Goldust comes back at him with a few clotheslines and the dreaded DROP ON YOUR BACK COMING OFF THE ROPES AND UPPERCUT, followed by an inverted atomic drop and the DREADED ASS BUMP OF DOOM for two. Goldust sets up for the Curtain Call, but Richards fights out and sets Goldust up for the Steven-plex. Goldust reverses it right into the Curtain Call position again, but Richards slips out and sets up for the Stevie-T, but Goldust backs Richards into the corner. Goldust sets Richards up for Shattered Dreams, but Richards fights out with a thumb to the eye. Irish whip to the buckle by Richards, but Goldust hits a power slam on Richards as he’s running at him for the win. Wow, a powerslam for the win? That’s weird. Goldust does have a rather nice powerslam, come to think of it. *3/4, decent for the time it was given.


Our main event is CHRISTIAN~! Vs. Maven. 3 Minute Warning are in action tonight (RE: Last Monday) as well.


A Nathan Jones promo airs. Jones vignettes are pretty awesome, but that doesn’t change the fact that he wrestles like Kurrgan.




3 Minute Warning’s theme rules. Holy crap are they wearing UGLY ring attire. Their opponents are Ken Anderson and Andy... something. I couldn’t understand Finkel.


Match Deux: 3 Minute Warning vs. Ken Anderson and Andy...something. One of them looks like Jeff Jarrett

This match will probably go on for about... THREE MINUTES. Rosey backs one of the jobbers into the corner and tosses him to the floor. He goes off the ropes and his partner blind tags him. He jumps at Rosey but gets caught in the fallaway position. Jobber B hits a missile dropkick on Rosey, dropping his partner on Rosey. Double dropkick by the jobbers, but it has no effect. They try for a double clothesline, but Rosey foward rolls out of the way and hits a clothesline on both of the jobbers. He tags in Jamal, and Jamal hits a NICE spinning heel kick on the jobber in black and white. Big chop on the jobber in black and white. The jobber in blue tries to kick Jamal in the back, but Jamal just shoves him out of the ring and tags in Rosey. At least these guys have a sense of humor about having the crap beat out of them. Rosey chops away on the jobber in black and white in the corner. He looks a little like a skinny Jeff Jarrett. Snapmare by Rosey, and he rakes Jarrett jobber’s face. Rosey pounds away with clubbing blows and tags in Jamal. Jamal whips Rosey into skinny Jeff Jarrett in the corner. Rosey tosses skinny Jeff Jarrett into Jamal who hits his patented Samoan drop for the win in about 3 minutes. After the match, Rosey hits D’Lo Brown’s Sudden Impact on the other jobber. They beat the hell out of the jobbers after the match.

Squash, no rating.


Jericho vs. Steiner is shilled for tomorrow’s RAW. The finish is pretty inevitable. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing Steiner vs. Triple H part two at No Way Out, no matter how bad Steiner was at the Rumble. Way to go Vince, reward a shoddy performance with YET ANOTHER title shot.


RAW Recap: Chris Jericho apologizes for assaulting the poor, defenseless ring post with a steel chair

Man, you’d think they WOULDN’T show the clip of Stacy being “hit” by the chair OVER AND OVER after it looked so horrible, but apparently they are. Oh well, at least HBK came down to the ring, which means we’ll probably get Michaels vs. Jericho at Wrestlemania, after Jericho is done with Test at No Way Out.


Rico vs. Spike Dudley is up next. They shill for “The Best of Confidential: Vol 1" on DVD, which is actually a good buy. I picked it up about two weeks ago, and it’s worth it for the extras. If I get time later this week, I’ll put up a review of the disc.


Extreme Blast of the Night:

Tommy Dreamer beats up the Tough Enough finalists with a Singapore Cane.


And.... here comes Rico.


His opponent is....... FUCKING SPIKE DUDLEY. GAH!!!!!!! I hate you so very, very much, Spike.



Spike charges right at Rico, but Rico shoves Spike right down to the floor. Tie-up, hiptoss and a waistlock takedown by Spike for two. Weak looking dropkick by Spike, and Rico slips out of the ring. He climbs back in, and gets Spike locked up in a side headlock. Spike tries to push Rico Suave off, but Rico grabs Spike by his hair and locks the hold back in. They tie up again, side headlock by Spike, and Spike squeezes Rico’s ears, or something. He tries for the Dudley Dog, but Rico holds him up in the air. Spike turns it into a headlock takedown. Baseball slide by Rico, following a whip, but he gets taken down with a hiptoss. Headlock by Spike, but Rico powers out and misses an elbow drop. Rico hits Spike with some punches in the corner, followed by a hard whip. Rico taunts to the crowd, getting a decent reaction. Whip by Rico, and a NICE Flapjack Powerslam by Rico! That got an “OHHH!” from the crowd. Spike kicks out at two. Rico sets Spike up for a suplex, but Spike blocks and hits a backslide for two. Rico fights back with some spin kicks and some brawling. Rico goes for a flying kick in the corner, but Spike turns it into a powerbomb. Hurricanranna by Spike, Rico slides to the outside. Spike hits a cross body to the outside on Rico off of the top rope. Back in the ring, Spike hits an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. Spike tries for the battering ram, but no effect on Rico. Spike rolls Rico up in a strange cover for the win. *3/4, again, decent match.


Sweet, a new Sean O’Haire vignette! This time around, Sean O’Haire wants us to commit adultery.


RAW Recap: RVD and Kane vs. Triple H and Batista



Just don’t call them the 4 Horsemen, please.


They shill Steiner vs. Jericho for tonight’s RAW, Christian vs. Maven as Heat’s main, and the Austin article from RAW Magazine.


WWE Rewind:

Jazz is back, and we have another good women’s wrestler in the division. Hopefully this means no more Jacqueline.


Main Event: Christian vs. Maven

I have such mixed feelings about having Christian on Heat. I love the guy, but he should be on RAW, not on some B-show.


This should be a decent contest.


Tie-up to start, arm wringer by Christian, side headlock by Christian. Maven reverses it into an arm wringer take down, followed by an armbar. Christian elbows out, and gets tossed over the top rope, but Christian hangs on and stays on the apron. Maven shoves Christian to the floor. Christian gets back in the ring and stomps away on Maven, followed by a neckbreaker. The crowd is really into this one for a heat match. 2 count for Christian. Christian stomps away some more followed by a snapmare and a chinlock. Maven fights out eventually, and rolls Christian up in a small package for 2. Christian gets right up and hits a reverse DDT across the knee for 2. Christian chokes Maven across the second rope. Whip by Christian, elbow block by Maven. Maven backs Christian into the corner, but Christian tries for the Unprettier, which Maven turns into a backslide for two. Maven hits a flying bulldog for two. Maven tries for a running powerslam, but Christian slips out RIGHT into an inverted DDT! Christian gets whipped into the corner, but climbs the top rope. Maven stops him, and back body drops him off the top rope. Maven hits a missile dropkick for two. Christian tries to kick Maven, but Maven grabs his leg. Christian spins around and hits the Unprettier for the win. Christian looked tired in the match, but he still put on a good performance with Maven, who continues to improve. **



You really can’t ask for anything more from Heat. They gave us 3 solid matches this week, and one of them involved CHRISTIAN. The squash was short and sweet, and there wasn’t an abundance of recapping. Solid edition of Heat.


Peter "FakeRazor" Ramoncolor>


As always, you can reach me here.


whacked Out wrestling


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