Jump to content
TSM Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Guest TSMAdmin

Jake "The Snake" Roberts Coliseum Video Review

Recommended Posts

Guest TSMAdmin

Once there was Allan Bassett

Who had lived with his parents

They said clean out yer closet

Unless you can pay some rent


Allan was not quite a man

And not quite a boy either

To get rent he had no plan

From home he took a breather


Now out looking for a job

No employer would hire

Because he looked like a slob

And thought he'd just get fired


But he came across a place

Yeah this is the place for me

With a smile on his face

He applied at T S C


They said son you look real fine

And can you work all the time

He had no issue with that

He'd found a place to work at


Now he needed a new home

And he would live all alone

Spoke to managerial

Who ran the Imperial


He rented a one room flat

He said this is where it's at

And Big Al The Kiddie's Pal

Found himself a new locale


Now he's really doin fine

He's on the web all the time

He goes to the library

There all the time and how very


On the web he met a girl

This girl really rocked his world

And from there she could not tell

That Allan really did smell


Allan told her they should meet

At a place across the street

He could then see how she looked

And he could really get hooked


But when they met she did sniff

And she did not like the whiff

And she screamed and she ran

To go find another man


Allan's heart was very broke

And his pillow he did soak

And then he drank lots of beer

He had really shed a tear


But Allan got up and said

Well at least I'm not yet dead

And I am still The Franchise

And then he did wipe his eyes


Then Allan went out to work

With a smile and a smirk

On his mind this did not weigh

Cause tomorrows a new day



That's the story of Allan




Nice to meet you too.


- This is the Jake "The Snake" Roberts Coliseum video release from 1987 and is hosted by Craig DeGeorge and Johnny Valiant. Aren't you EXCITED!? I mean, CRAIG DEGEORGE! WHAT A DREAMBOAT!



Wow, a Jake vs. a jobber. Take my money from me now. Roberts is a heel and this is near the beginning of his WWF run. Roberts squashes McGhee, until a comeback is made. Roberts stops it short with a DDT. [4:03] 1/2* Jake drapes the snake over McGhee after the match.



This is from Saturday Night's Main Event. Roberts clothesline Steamboat on the apron before he can even get in the ring. Steamboat falls to the floor and Jake goes out there and DDTs him on the concrete. Jesus. Bobby Heenan says that Steamboat's head is leaking pineapple juice. I think I see a puddle of it on the floor next to him! Anyways, Roberts drags Steamboat into the ring and Steamboat looks just like a dead body. I mean, Jake just yanks on his arm hard to pull him in and Steamboat is total dead weight. It's weird looking. Jake drapes the snake across Ricky. See, now that's what I call a hot segment. No match, so no rating.


- Scheme Gene interview Roberts, and Roberts shows off various snakes (which are in cages). I think this is from Tuesday Night Titans (that show ruled!). Roberts comes off as knowledgable, although he really doesn't say anything overly scientific about the snakes.



The Boston Gardens crowd is super-hot. Steamboat continually tries for his chops, but Roberts blocks them with his forearm, which is the psychology throughout the first half of the match. Roberts stalls a lot, and takes a lot of breathers on the outside. Eventually Steamboat catches him and just chops the hell right outta him. Roberts heads outside again, and Steamboat follows him out and they brawl on the floor. Back up onto the apron, Steamboat goes to chop Jake but Jake ducks and Steamboat chops the ringpost. Great way to break your hand. Steamboat falls to the floor and Roberts sticks his arm in the frame of the ring post and bends it in a way mother nature never intended. I've never seen that done before. Roberts continues to work the arm by slamming it on the guardrail, and bringing Steamboat into the ring and working the arm over there. Steamboat gets dumped and Roberts pulls out a chain and wraps it around his hand, but the ref sees it and takes it away from him. He turns around and Steamboat gullotines him on the top rope. They brawl on the floor and then back inside, and series of chops get two for Steamboat. Steamboat gets his top rope flying chop, but afterwards Roberts tosses him into the ref. Roberts short-arm clothesline Steamboat and pins him, but no ref. Another pin after an inverted backbreaker, but the ref is still sleeping. ROberts revives the ref, and when he does so Steamboat rolls him up and the ref counts three. [17:17] Really, really good match ***1/2. Jake attacks Steamboat afterwards.


_ Gene Scheme interview Jake and they talk about his face turn. Roberts basically puts himself over as being a lone wolf, and isn't a good guy or bad guy, but just a guy.



The timeline must be jumbled because in that interview Roberts was just turning face, and here is a heel. Typical JYD match. Lots of stalling, brawling, and rolling headbutts. They brawl on the outside and JYD rolls back in while Jake goes for the snake and gets counted out [9:14] 1/2* Actually, with the way things go on this tape, they should've ended it after the Steamboat match, but...



...Jake's gotta wrestle some fat guys, so don't go no place. Fat guy #1: King Kong Bundy. This is from MSG. Roberts is a total face here, and Jimmy Hart is on commentary. End comes when Jake gets dumped going for the DDT and Bundy follows him out and then rolls him back in, but because he's a big fatass can't get back in the ring in time and gets counted out, giving Jake the victory. [9:18] 1/4* Roberts chases Bundy & Heenan off with the snake afterwards.



Okay, why do they need to show two matches with Bundy on the same tape? I mean, how different could each one possibly be? This one is from Saturday Night's Main Event. The finish comes when Jake DDTs Bundy and goes for the snake. He gets counted out, and Heenan gets Bundy outta there while Jake busys himself by attacking the referee with the snake. Match went 7:19. DUD


- The Snake Pit with Jake Roberts. Honkytonk Man smashes him with his guitar, setting up their WrestleMania match.



Roberts flips Honky into the ring. They brawl. And they brawl some more. Then the head outside, and brawl. Then back in, brawling. Then outside, brawling. Then back in, and Honky wins with a rollup while holding the ropes. THAT'S THE WHOLE MATCH. [7:15] **1/2 Helluva brawl though. Jake absolutely destroys the guitar by smashing it across the ring post (but he was aiming for HTM).



Fat Guy #2: Kamala. This is from Saturday Night's Main Event. Kamala runs away from the snake a lot, chops a lot. Roberts sells a lot. Finish comes when Kamala cheats and big splashes Roberts [4:59] DUD I really don't see the point of this match being on the tape. Like just about every other match the exception of the Steamboat match.



A throway tape full of junk. Roberts interview, however, are timeless and priceless, and he remains my all time favourite mic worker. The Steamboat/Roberts match was really good too, and the psychology it played out was excellent. If you can find that match somewhere else, go for it, but otherwise, if you actually see a copy of this somewhere, go watch TV or something. I doubt you'll see as many fat people there (unless, of course, you're watching reruns of 'Roseanne').


If you dug this review (and baby I know you did), you can check out my site at http://TouchOfEvil.4t.com and sign up for a subscription to my print newsletter, the 'Touch Of Evil'. Each week I review the current WWE TV, NWA-TNA shows, and tons and tons of puro and MMA. Each issues is jam-packed with retro tape reviews, biographies, opinion pieces, anything and everything. This week I'm doing a classic superstar profile on Roberts (hence this review). There will be a biography on him, along with a review of his shoot interview done with RFVideo and a review of a SIX HOUR compilation featuring Jake's best stuff in WWF, WCCW, and his one WCW match. There's also a reviews on HBO's "The Smashing Machine" and Pride 24. And, as every week, Raw, Smackdown, NWA-TNA, and about a thousand other TV programs are reviewed. So check the site out and pick up a subscription.



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this