Promo: Not A Hope in Hell

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

The scene fades in on the ICTV title, neatly folded with its golden crested plate facing up. The camera pulls back to reveal it enshrined in a glass case like some rare museum piece. Small lights to the side of the case shine in and reflect off the highly polished surface to illuminate what is an otherwise completely dark room. As the camera continues to pull back, Frost’s face can be seen hovering over the glass entombed title belt. The light bouncing off the gold and glass strike him right under his chin and shine up just enough to let his piercing blue eyes cut through the shadows. He almost appears to be a disembodied demon just let loose from the very depths of hell. He speaks slowly and measurably with each word given the utmost punch and weight.

 

“Canadian Intelligence Agent,” he rumbles like rolling smoke “as you were not worthy to wrest the Tag Team Titles from myself and Tom Flesher last Wednesday, you are infinitely less worthy to take the ICTV Title from me this coming Tuesday on Lockdown. I pay no regard to the lip service of this prized belt before me being a mere secondary title. A title is only as prestigious and honorable as the man who holds it and I am the most honorable and prestigious figure to ever grace the SWF. You on the other hand, are a harlot of a charlatan, worshipping the humanoids when they should be the ones worshipping you. I cannot allow the ultimate signature of my greatness to fall into such wretched hands. If need be this Tuesday, I will retain the belt through disqualification by blowing your head clean off your shoulders with a shotgun if security allows me into the building with it. If you were a smart man, you would not show up for the match, but alas I know you do not have the brains God gave a tick on a yak’s ass. I will pummel you for such stupidity. I will grind your bones to paste for such insubordination to face me. I will maul your face into a twisted lump of oozing flesh for the impetuousness you display in thinking you could ever defeat me. You may have pinned my shoulders to the mat, once, twice even, but you have never ever defeated me and you never ever will. My soul dwarfs your carcass and eats your heart. My existence defeats yours with its grandiosity and meaning while you run around seeking answers to questions not even the drunken village idiots ask themselves. Show if you must on Lockdown for our ICTV Title match, but know that I will show you no leniency or mercy this time as I devour your puny efforts to dethrone me from my rightful place as ICTV champion.”

 

Frost’s eyes narrow and his mouth remains set in a harsh frown. The camera zooms back in on the title belt, closer, closer, closer until the screen is filled with only the nameplate containing five etched letters spelling “FROST” and fades to black.

[Guest Suicide King]

Eat his soul Frost! Yeah!

[Guest Ace309]

My soul dwarfs your carcass and eats your heart.

 

I think I'm going to stitch that on a sampler.

 

Nice promo, short and to the point. CIA = shaking in boots.