Article On One Guy Applying For A WWE Writer Job

[Guest BoboBrazil]

http://www.1wrestling.com/columns/jeff/def...&articleid=9456

[Guest AndrewTS]

http://www.1wrestling.com/columns/jeff/def...&articleid=9456

Copy and paste please, for those without pop up killers who dare not venture into 1millionpopups.com.

 

As for the topic title, "duh."

[bobobrazil1984 0]

Dusty's Litterbox

My Experience With WWE

Script was considered by WWE Creative

 

"Hi, this is Jennifer calling from Stephanie McMahon's office. I'm calling because we received your sample storyline for consideration to join our writing team."

 

The day was November 5th, 2002. Precisely one week after I posted my Fictional Raw Episode (CLICK HERE TO VIEW) on this very website. However, as it turns out, the call didn't actually have anything to do with this site.

 

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

 

The Call

 

Before getting published here, I'd passed along copies of said script to my feline posse in the back alley, just for kicks. They seemed to thoroughly enjoy it; then copies of copies were made — mostly without my knowledge — and like a runaway rumor, the story ended up going a lot farther than I'd thought. When I called Stephanie's assistant back — pretty much convinced that this was a prank — she informed me that they got it through a recommendation by Pat Patterson. You can imagine my surprise. Steph's office wanted to send me an official release form, allowing them to officially review the submission by committee.

 

From there, it was pretty easy to narrow down who, in my entourage, got my script in Pat's hands. As it turns out, a friend of mine had forwarded it directly to his home.

 

"He loved it," I was told. "He said he couldn't put it down, and faxed it to Stamford himself."

 

That Patterson even read the thing from beginning to end was an honor in itself. That he personally recommended it to Stamford just left me speechless. That's when Stephanie McMahon's office called.

 

I let it slip that I wasn't even aware my script had been submitted. The assistant responded that "since this was sent unbeknownst to you, would you be interested in a TV Writer position?" Are you sh----ing me? "We are looking to expand our already crew of nine, especially now that the shows are split."

 

First, this was the first time that I'd seen anyone confirm how many writers WWE had on its staff at any given point in time. So back in November anyway, it was nine — which is about 4 per show if they truly are split between Raw and Smackdown.

 

We went back and forth for a while, and I can genuinely say that Jennifer was one of the sweetest office people I'd ever interacted with (and my day job has me interacting with more than most).

 

The Turning Point

 

"By the way, let me know what you think of Survivor Series-- I won't be there but I'm sure the Elimination Chamber match would be even more impressive in person."

 

It never would have even crossed my mind to bother Stamford offices with my personal opinions of one of their shows, but here they were flat out asking me to.

 

My immediate response, dated Nov 12, went something like...

 

"[truncated] I'm sure it will be great -- my only fear is that it turns into HHH & Chris vs. everyone else... because good guys fight bad guys... but I'm looking forward to it."

 

Then Survivor Series came and went. And unfortunately, most of my fears regarding the PPV had come to pass. This was one time when I really didn't want to be right. So first thing on Monday morning — as requested — I sent Stamford my opinion of the show, which went something like...

 

"Dear Jennifer,

 

Hope you had a great weekend, even if it wasn't at MSG. Since you had asked for my thoughts on Survivor Series, here they are. First, right off the bat, I have to say that everyone I was with really miss the original Survivor Series format. All of the PPVs nowadays seem to be pretty much identical in style and presentation.

 

With that said, here are my comments on the show -- more specifically, the Elimination Chamber. I remember expressing my fear that the main event would end up pitting HHH & Jericho vs. everyone else... and unfortunately, that's pretty much how it played out. Good guys vs. bad guys, even if HHH & Jericho have issues dating back to HHH's babyface run.

 

I really like the chamber itself. That thing is a monster and visually impressed everyone I was with -- casual and veteran fans alike. Very impressive visual. Kudos to the designer. However, I'd be lying if I said that everything regarding the booking of the match made sense to me, or anyone I was with. These main questions were raised during the broadcast :

 

Why did HBK avoid HHH for most of the main event, when he had stated very clearly prior to the show that his first goal was to prevent HHH from retaining his championship? When he was freed from his cell, Shawn had his pick of Kane, Jericho and HHH — all of whom were battered and defenseless... and he actually walked around Hunter to get at someone else. Shouldn't his priority have been eliminating HHH? In fact, Shawn did such a good job staying out of HHH's way the entire match that I was actually starting to think that they were secretly aligned. But when they ended up going at it like mad dogs in the end, I couldn't help but think that this just simply didn't make sense.

 

Why did so many wrestlers break other wrestlers' pinfall attempts? This was an elimination match. It made no sense for anyone to save anyone else in that context. The whole point is to be the last man standing. Seeing Jericho save Triple-H had all of us groaning. Not only did it not make sense in the context of the match, but why is it that these two must be friends simply because they're both 'bad guys'? In my personal opinion, the entire 2-dimensional concept of good vs. evil is really shackling the writing right now. None of us can relate with any of these cartoon characters.

 

Did Bischoff really have to tell us that the Plexiglas of each cell was BULLETPROOF? Wrestlers' heads kept going through it, and I have to believe these bumps were scripted. Someone probably should have told Eric about it, since he is the on-air conceptor of the Elimination Chamber.

My favorite moment of the show was seeing D-Von and Bubba re-unite, and how that was pulled off. And I also liked the touch of having Scott Steiner go after one representative of both Raw and Smackdown, so as to not reveal which show he will be on yet.

 

Overall, though, I have to admit, this was pretty similar to what WWE has been serving over the course of the past year. I was also a bit disappointed that we didn't get to see Goldust or Hurricane (whom you guys have been doing a great job with on Raw lately, so they were missed).

 

Well, those are my comments on the show. Thanks for reading!"

 

Uncharacteristically, there was no response this time around; which was a bit odd, given that Jennifer had specifically asked for my opinion on the show, and was so very responsive in the past. Was I too harsh? Should I have sugarcoated the review? Lied a bit, to stay on the company's good side? I don't know — I stressed whatever honest positives I could come up with. I didn't think making some up would be fair to anyone.

 

Fictional Script Elements leaking into Raw

 

A couple of weeks went by with no news... and then, sometime between 10 and 11pm on November 25th, a whole lot of people suddenly tried getting in touch with me. My phone wouldn't stop ringing, and my email notificator started acting up. Turns out it had something to do with Raw, which I had been accustomed to taping and watching later (the benefits of which being obvious). People started spotting resemblances in the show with my script, specifically singling out a backstage confrontation between Shawn Michaels and Rob Van Dam, where HBK refers to RVD as a younger version of himself, before slapping some attitude into him, in a tough-love, "for your own good" manner.

 

Prior to this scene, there had been a few other casual resemblances friends had alerted me to, but nothing I couldn't credit to coincidence... however, the HBK/RVD thing was a bit eerie even for me. I thought either this is another coincidence — which wouldn't be a bad thing since it meant they were heading in a direction that fit with my style of writing... or it was no coincidence, and they genuinely like my work. Either way, I saw the resemblances as good news.

 

Curious about where my submission stood, I dropped Jennifer an email about it — the first in weeks. And the tone of her response was a stark contrast to what I'd been used to. This time, she asked to please discontinue contacting her as the workload is heavy. Given that this was my first email in weeks, and that I'd just seen something that strangely resembled something I wrote, I expected a friendlier reception.

 

I didn't get it... I started asking myself what could have gone wrong. It actually took me a few hours to realize that everything changed way back when I sent in that (solicited) Survivor Series review.

 

And that's when I got my first taste of what it must be like to work there.

 

I can't replay every conversation I've had with Stamford, via email or on the phone... the above serves only as a general outline of how things went down. But having now lived through the experience, and properly assessed it... I got the distinct impression that while WWE is genuinely and openly seeking new writers (which is something I wasn't even aware of until they called me), what they are really searching for are new writers that think like them. Writers who will approve of the status quo... which to me was quite a conflict of interests, in a very warped way.

 

"No matter how high they were on you yesterday,

today is another chance to lose everything with one political faux-pas. That is the kind of burden and pressure WWE creative is under right now."

My critique of the Survivor Series — which I quoted from here above — was a turning point in this process. Up until that exact moment, I could have told you that WWE — more specifically, Stephanie McMahon's office — was extremely friendly, accommodating, and professional. While I wasn't yet convinced I was willing to dedicate my life to the company at that point (as the script was sent in unbeknownst to me), they were sure making a case for me to seriously start considering it...

 

...until Survivor Series.

 

And that's when I started sympathizing with WWE's writers, especially those just coming in... having to work in that atmosphere... where thinking outside the box is grounds for exclusion and ostracization, potentially changing everything at the snap of a finger... that no matter how high they were on you yesterday, today is another chance to lose everything with one political faux-pas...

 

That is the kind of burden and pressure WWE writers are under right now.

 

The Unspoken Burden of the WWE Writer

 

Where does it come from? Does it come from higher up? I don't know, and I can't even presume to guess. I can only speak from my own experience. Maybe it's a common one, or maybe it's not.

 

What I got out of this entire experience is that, until I got to live the process myself, I was willing to blame the writers for every problem WWE has. Basically, how can it be anyone else's fault when what these people are putting on paper has been consistently insulting to the audience's intelligence for almost two years now? It boggled my mind how so many people can not only make that many errors in judgment, but worse — keep making them over and over again, show after show, month after month, as ratings continue to slide... seemingly oblivious to the ineffectiveness of their way of writing.

 

But are they really so oblivious to it? I'm not so sure anymore.

 

"In my opinion, the writing is still the biggest singular problem with WWE. But I'm not as convinced that the writers are. The writers are giving WWE what WWE wants."

I keep getting emails from people who, like me, have been wondering what — for lack of a more diplomatic way of putting it — these writers' major malfunction is... why they just can't understand that 2-dimensional concepts of Good vs. Evil seemingly targeted at grade-school audiences actually challenges adults to turn the channel. That they all revived and continue to perpetuate the very thing that Vince McMahon was quoted (in Bret Hart's Wrestling With Shadows) as saying he'd no longer insult his audience with — outdated concepts of Good vs. Evil, and characters no one can relate to. That prehistoric mindset killed every can't-miss angle money could buy in 2001 and 2002... and 2003 isn't shaping up any differently, despite some huge impending returns.

 

But is it really that the writers can't write more intelligent TV... or that they're groomed not to, as I would have been had I played the game the way they expected me to play it?

 

In my opinion, the writing is still the biggest singular problem with WWE. But I'm not as convinced that the writers are. I am starting to believe that the writers are giving WWE what WWE wants. It's simple, yet at the same time illustrates a far more complex and political problem than I originally anticipated, and which can't be solved by hiring anyone. Hundreds of you — including Pat Patterson himself — have lobbied for WWE to consider me. That was my honor, right there.

 

And now they have.

 

WWE Creative's Verdict

 

And on Feb 5th, I received (First Class Priority, no less) an official note stating that WWE "has decided your creative writing talents and abilities are not consistent with its needs."

 

Like the above isn't clear enough despite the grammatical error, they really drive the point home by adding : "You will not be offered a writing position on its creative team."

 

I kid you not, that's exactly what the hand-signed letter (from Sr. Director of HR Palma Braks) states, word for word.

 

Not "at this time", or even "feel free to try again in the future"... but quite simply, "You will NOT," period.

 

Have I mentioned that this gem was sent First Class priority?

 

Let us forget the fact that they are telling me I'm not getting a job I never applied for, and that it was one of their own who pushed for them to consider my writing in the first place. The point is, even if they had sent me a plane ticket to Stamford, there would have been no point accepting the invitation anymore... not with the animosity I felt the very half-second I disagreed with what they were currently doing.

 

How do you change anything without pinpointing flaws?

 

How do you turn a company around without changing anything?

 

That's the challenge of the WWE writer.

 

Vince Russo, when briefly re-hired last year by WWE, stated that this wasn't the same company he left, specifically mentioning how creative now operated, and the overall mood in the room. I'm starting to have a good idea what he meant, and how different the company must have been like when he was first hired several years ago. Remember, Russo made it as a writer at a time when a renegade like himself was allowed to come in and suggest new things that were entirely different than what they were doing. I'm guessing that he was probably far less diplomatic in how he went about his deconstruction of the status quo than I would be... but it didn't matter then. Vince McMahon let him do it.

 

Today, things are different. He walked in that room, and then walked out and joined the Jarretts in NWA-TNA.

 

As I probably would have myself, in that exact situation.

 

Russo probably witnessed up close what I could sense from the comfort of my litterbox. WWE wants its ratings to rise, but doesn't want to change a thing. Why not is anyone's guess, and it wouldn't be fair of me to speculate.

 

But whether it's John Doe, Brian Gerwirtz, or Dusty the Fat Bitter Cat in that room serving the company its weekly dose of Cowboy & Indian predictability... what's the difference? Instead of complaining about Gewirtz, you'd be complaining about me. Because I'd be serving the same dish you're being served now. That's seemingly how you get through the door, and how you keep your job.

 

Russo turned the company around in 1997 partly because he had the ideas to do it... but also because he was allowed to do it. That last part was just as important as having the ideas. And who's to say that any one of those nine WWE writers currently on the staff wouldn't be able to do the same thing, given that same opportunity?

 

We're simply assuming they can't, because they haven't been. That might be a bit rash on all our parts.

 

As was recently proven, not even Russo himself would be allowed to do anything today, much less anyone else.

 

Conclusion

 

Well, that was my 3 months under consideration for a WWE writing position.

 

I'm guessing that all 9 of those WWE writers who read us complaining about their work every week wish they had the power to make each and every one of you experience what I did, just to get a brief glimpse into their world.

 

A world where you are asked to walk without moving, speak without making a sound, and turn things around without changing anything.

 

This is their burden to bear. And that is why this time — and perhaps ONLY this time — I am going to cut the writers some slack, and raise my glass to them.

 

We all claim to be smart fans... but we don't know the half of it.

 

The more you find out, the more you realize just how little you know.

[Guest Mik at Cornell]

Whoops you beat me to it. EDIT

[Guest BoboBrazil]

Someone already posted it.

[Guest SP-1]

That was very, very interesting. If it's true, then I feel very sorry for the writers currently serving with WWE, because they're little more than storytellers that aren't being allowed to tell stories. And that is a damn shame.

[Guest Angle-plex]

Heh. If I was applying, my fantasy storylines would be Triple H going over everyone for the next 6 months. I most likely would be hired.

[Guest SP-1]

I think part of the reason that it really gets to me is because I attended that RAW. Which means I paid WWE money for ideas that entertained me personally that were ultimately stolen from someone. Perhaps no legally, but to me they were. They ripped that guy off.

[Guest myburninghammer]

On a randomly related side note, can you send story ideas directly to WWE? I realize this guy go through indirectly, but if they're actively looking for ideas...

[Guest IB2BLACK]

I really don't think they would want you to. Fear of lawsuits. Say you have an idea, and they use it, or do something similar, you could file a lawsuit.. And I'm sure they get 1000's of script proposals, a week.

[Guest Brian]

Thye have a disclaimer for everyone submitting work.

[Guest HartFan86]

Wow, I read this guy's booking and I was just confused as hell by the end of the show. Too many turns and twists in 2 hours for me.

[Guest OSIcon]

Wow, I read this guy's booking and I was just confused as hell by the end of the show. Too many turns and twists in 2 hours for me.

 

That's the worst part of this whole story: the fact that the WWE actually liked this guy's show.

 

It was so Russo-ish. Shooting at the beginning of the show, so many twists that its too hard to follow, teams winning the tag titles when they aren't even in the match, ect.

 

If they consider that a really good show, that's the scary part.

[Guest IB2BLACK]

And that was one show.

[bobobrazil1984 0]

that was... an interesting article. Sadly it rings very true.

[Guest Mole]

I think everyone feels the same way about their own work, but if I were to book Raw, the show would be 10 times better.

 

I just have ideas flotten in my head.

[Guest Vitamin X]

don't we all

[Guest Mad Dog]

I wasn't that impressed by any of his ideas. He wants to do too many things at once.

[Guest imajackoff?]

Im so surprised that trashing the company you are attempting to acquire employment with resulted in a rejection notice. That's the case with any job. You have to remember that the people hiring you are the ones responsible for the current product. He should have complimented the whole show and then offered his "fresh" ideas as alternatives. This smarky smark should have known of the political nature of the company.

[Guest IB2BLACK]

also, why would they take a net writer on?

[Guest Angle-plex]

I think everyone feels the same way about their own work, but if I were to book Raw, the show would be 10 times better.

That's not saying much. You could give a monkey a pen and a piece of better and he would write a show better than that.

[Guest Angle-plex]

"Dear Jennifer,

 

Hope you had a great weekend, even if it wasn't at MSG. Since you had asked for my thoughts on Survivor Series, here they are. First, right off the bat, I have to say that everyone I was with really miss the original Survivor Series format. All of the PPVs nowadays seem to be pretty much identical in style and presentation.

 

With that said, here are my comments on the show -- more specifically, the Elimination Chamber. I remember expressing my fear that the main event would end up pitting HHH & Jericho vs. everyone else... and unfortunately, that's pretty much how it played out. Good guys vs. bad guys, even if HHH & Jericho have issues dating back to HHH's babyface run.

 

I really like the chamber itself. That thing is a monster and visually impressed everyone I was with -- casual and veteran fans alike. Very impressive visual. Kudos to the designer. However, I'd be lying if I said that everything regarding the booking of the match made sense to me, or anyone I was with. These main questions were raised during the broadcast :

 

Why did HBK avoid HHH for most of the main event, when he had stated very clearly prior to the show that his first goal was to prevent HHH from retaining his championship? When he was freed from his cell, Shawn had his pick of Kane, Jericho and HHH — all of whom were battered and defenseless... and he actually walked around Hunter to get at someone else. Shouldn't his priority have been eliminating HHH? In fact, Shawn did such a good job staying out of HHH's way the entire match that I was actually starting to think that they were secretly aligned. But when they ended up going at it like mad dogs in the end, I couldn't help but think that this just simply didn't make sense.

 

Why did so many wrestlers break other wrestlers' pinfall attempts? This was an elimination match. It made no sense for anyone to save anyone else in that context. The whole point is to be the last man standing. Seeing Jericho save Triple-H had all of us groaning. Not only did it not make sense in the context of the match, but why is it that these two must be friends simply because they're both 'bad guys'? In my personal opinion, the entire 2-dimensional concept of good vs. evil is really shackling the writing right now. None of us can relate with any of these cartoon characters.

 

Did Bischoff really have to tell us that the Plexiglas of each cell was BULLETPROOF? Wrestlers' heads kept going through it, and I have to believe these bumps were scripted. Someone probably should have told Eric about it, since he is the on-air conceptor of the Elimination Chamber.

My favorite moment of the show was seeing D-Von and Bubba re-unite, and how that was pulled off. And I also liked the touch of having Scott Steiner go after one representative of both Raw and Smackdown, so as to not reveal which show he will be on yet.

 

Overall, though, I have to admit, this was pretty similar to what WWE has been serving over the course of the past year. I was also a bit disappointed that we didn't get to see Goldust or Hurricane (whom you guys have been doing a great job with on Raw lately, so they were missed).

 

Well, those are my comments on the show. Thanks for reading!"

 

If that guy actually sent that, then he's an idiot. He should have said something along the lines of "It was really great". After he got the job, that's when he could have told his complaints. You have to change things from the inside.

 

Although I'm not really sad this guy didn't get the job anyways. I've always hated those "shoot" type angles. With those, your basically saying "Everything was fake, until now! It's all real now!".

[Guest Dangerous A]

This story reeks of pure bullshit from my view.

[Guest humongous2002]

No shit, if you are too dumb to pretend that you liked the ppv to get a lucrative job then thank God he didn't get hired.

[Guest creativename]

No shit, if you are too dumb to pretend that you liked the ppv to get a lucrative job then thank God he didn't get hired.

Well, if it was me, I probably would be (mostly) honest--I wouldn't give my real opinion if it was too harsh, but I thought the way he went about it was quite political and acceptable. I'd say it the same way he did, simply because I feel too much guilt if I was any more "fake" than that--it's stupid, yes, but I think most people are like that too. If they got offended by such mild criticisms framed in such a polite manner, that's just absurd.

 

Though I agree that his writing was too shootish. If they spread out some of that stuff over a couple episodes though, it might work. Anything's better than Raw no anyway.

 

BTW, personally, I think they may have loved his script because of its heavy Kliq focus.

[Guest Super Pissed Smark]

I doubt anybody who's really qualified to write good television would even consider taking a job at WWE, so it's doesn't surprise me that they'd go looking for candidates in odd places.