Losing Match Thread

[Guest Goodear]

No seriously... I totally, totally suck. This just started out soooo bad I came to the conclusion that it was never going to get any better ... so I ... yeah

 

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As the crowd of the arena turn their collective attention to the large video wall that is displaying an aerial view of Alcatraz Prison, Stevens greets us all with a return from the last commercial break, “And we are back for some more exciting SWF action! But this match is going to be quite different than anything else you fans have seen in quite a long time. Right Riley?”

 

“That’s right. Tonight in just a few moments, CIA, Michael Craven, and Ejiro Fasaki will be reenacting the sexiest show on television today... OZ! And I don’t even have to be bothered to do commentary for this sucker do I?”

 

“No, Riley you can keep your hands in your pants all match long. Because we have a special broadcast team all set up to handle the onsite reporting of this Escape from Alcatraz Island. With that, I send the commentary over to our man on the island... none other than our own ... I’m not sure what the heck you want to call him. It’s Ben Hardy. Take it away Ben.”

 

The weasel that walks like a man smiles broadly into the camera, “Thanks ‘Grand Slam’ its an honor to be here tonight for this awesome contest of King Kong like proportions. I am stationed here at the most inescapable prison that man or beast has ever created... “The Rock”. Here three men will make that supreme effort to escape from this horrible testament to the evil of man. And who better to providing some insight into evil than our guest color commentator? He is as hard as hard could be... the nastiest man in the world... and has caused more pain in his career than some people did in World War I. I am speaking of course ... of Koko B. Ware. Hi Koko!”

 

Swooping in from off camera to give Ben a hug from the side comes the man with lime green hair and sunglasses that were never, ever cool, “HA HA HA! Hi Ben! Me and Frankie are sooooo happy to be here! Woo ha! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!”

 

“Right on Koko!” laughs Hardy in his stupid little way, “Say... where is Frankie?”

 

“Frankie’s dead you dumb cracker ass cracker... I haven’t worked enough the last few years to feed me... that hell with that freaking bird. HA HA HA! But I got a new gig now! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!”

 

“Right... So I guess its time for the introductions? Let me get this thing started so I can get back to getting beaten up every week and you can get back to your trailer home...”

 

The camera switches to deep within the long hallways of Alcatraz prison and its three newest guests. In side by side cells, all three participants in this very odd match stand at the ready for their doors to open and the game to begin as a deep voiced stranger begins his introductions over the intercom system of the prison...

 

“The rules of this match are simple, the first man to have the referee stationed on the raft of the coast of the island raise his hand will be the winner. And now to introduce the participants, first, in cell number one, he represents The Magnificent Seven. Weighing in at 188 pounds and hailing from Sarasota, Florida he is Ejiro Fasaki! In cell number two, a member of The Midnight Carnival from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada... this is the Canadian Intelligence Agent... CIA! And finally, in cell number three...he weighs in tonight at 262 pounds and hails from Tampa, Florida. This is “The Nightmare” Michael Craven!”

 

With that final announcement, the doors wildly open and allow our three men entry into the catacombs of the prison grounds. Almost immediately Ejiro makes a break away from the opposition and starts to run down the hallway toward some hope of escaping any entanglement with his opponents. But Fasaki does not get far before CIA dives into the air and takes him down to the floor with a diving shoestring tackle. Craven is the next to try and run past the pile but he is also brought down low as Ejiro sticks out an arm to trip him right down to the floor. Struggling with each other all three men fight their way up to their feet while desperately trying to hold each other from making a break to the shoreline. Finally, it is CIA who finally forces his hands free long enough to drive an elbow down across the brow of Fasaki and send him staggering back the way all three men had came. But that allows Craven the opening to slam a quick kick to the chest of the masked Carnie. Grabbing CIA by the back of the head, the Nightmare heaves him to one side and bashes his head against the steel bars of a closed cell.

 

CLANG!

 

And CIA goes bouncing to the floor in a heap as Craven turns to make his way out of the building. But Ejiro Fasaki is right back on his heels and slams a forearm down across the back of the man who went after Fugue with a pair of bolt cutters just last week on Lockdown. Pulling back, Ejiro slams his head back against the hard concrete walls that connect the cells before whipping forward and sending Craven flying into the hard concrete floor with a hip toss. When all of a sudden...

 

 

THE ISLAND EXPLODES....

 

 

EVERYONE DIES....

 

 

EXCEPT THOTH....

 

 

AND THIS PUPPY...

 

 

WOOF, WOOF!

 

 

YAY!

 

 

AND THEN THE PUPPY EATS THOTH!

 

 

OMG!

 

 

AND THEN KOKO B. WARE DOES THE GHOSTBUSTER ON THE PUPPY (HE ALSO LIVED THROUGH THE EXPLOSION)

 

 

BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!

[Guest Ace309]

I don't see how that lost, ejiro.