37 Sayings that you wish you can say at work

[Guest redbaron51]

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

 

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

 

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

 

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in

 

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to

see it my way.

 

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

 

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

 

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

 

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're

saying.

 

10. Ahhhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

 

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and

stupid.

 

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

 

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

 

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

 

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about

you.

 

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique

point of view.

 

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

 

18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

 

19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

 

20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

 

21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely

ceremonial.

 

22. And your crybaby whiny-ass opinion would be ... ?

 

23. Do I look like a people person?

 

24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

 

25. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

 

26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

 

27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

 

28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

 

29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

 

30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

 

31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

 

32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

 

33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

 

34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

 

35. Chaos, panic & disorder, my work here is done.

 

36. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

 

37. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Lol -- I've said stuff like that before, or at least variations of following -- 1, 6, 13, 19, 22, 23, 29.

 

Of course I have hit the glass ceiling at my place of employment, too. Hmmm.

 

I have to remember numbers 10 and 20 for future use...

[Guest EQ]

Those are great. I copied them into a text document so I can use them on friends and such.

[Garth 0]

lmao those are pretty damn funny, must keep some for future reference

[Guest redbaron51]

Bump...

[Guest AM The Kid]

Dont bump stuff, most people have read it, it's not one of those posts that need 20 replies.

[Guest phoenixrising]

37 sounds so right for me. Careers sound nice but at this point in time paychecks sound better.

 

Great list.

[Guest snuffbox]

Good shit...so so true.