William Regal is a bloated parasite

[Guest oldschoolwrestling]

William Regal was not backstage at Raw this week and his condition is very serious. From what I have heard from a few sources, the "stomach condition" we have been hearing that he has had for the past few weeks is actually a parasite that has shut down his lower intestines. Obviously, is a very serious matter. It is believed that Regal contracted the parasite during WWE's November 2002 tour of India. Regal has gained a lot of weight since the parasite has invaded his system, I believe due to fluid build up in his system. The truly scary thing about the condition is that doctors believe that their could be a gestation period of a year or more where other people who went on the tour could also be afflicted by parasites. At this point in time, it's not known how long Regal will be out of action

 

1wrestling

[Guest snuffbox]

greaaaat

[Guest BorneAgain]

Oh man, poor Regal. And poor Barron when he hears the news.

[Guest Downhome]

I guess India isn't as clean as I'd thought.

 

I hate this for Regal, I hope he heals up soon.

[Guest Mad Dog]

This is why the WWF shouldn't tour other countries.

[Guest bob_barron]

I heard about this on the LAW so I'm not too upset.

 

I feel really bad for him since the guy loves wrestling so much and went through hell and back to ensure he could still wrestle- and now this happens. Hopefully he'll be back soon- I REALLY am starting to miss him

[Guest Zero_Cool]

You know, I'm pretty apathetic towards Regal in the ring, but it really sucks that this happened to him. Even though I wouldn't put him in the same league as Kurt Angle, I hope he gets back into the ring soon. I hope that last sentence didn't come out too bad.

 

Now the rest of the roster has to watch out...great.

[Guest razazteca]

WWE should not tour in 3rd world countrys, I am surprised that nobody caught that killer pneumonia from Asia yet.

 

So does this mean that the tag titles will never get defended or will WWE just transfer it to Morely & Storm as champs.

[Guest El Satanico]

Well I believe that they were already planning on having Morley/Storm drop the titles if Regal wasn't able to return by Mania.

 

WWe truly is cursed...now the whole roster could have aliens running around in their bodies.

 

Hey...maybe HHH got the chest burster variety...

[B. Brian Brunzell 0]

So, how long do we think it'll be until the WWF goes back to India?

[Guest Zero_Cool]

You know, Satanico...I was really tempted to make the HHH comment, as the quota is one per thread, but I'm glad I didn't, because yours is actually funny if you think about it.

[Guest El Satanico]

heh...thanks

 

yes we must have one hhh joke/reference per thread

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I guess India isn't as clean as I'd thought.

 

I hate this for Regal, I hope he heals up soon.

You thought India was clean?

[Guest Lil Naitch]

I hate him in the ring, but I hate for anybody to get sick. Hope he heals up soon.

[Guest oldschoolwrestling]

ELAINE: Hi. Mr. and Mrs. Ranawat?

 

ZUBIN: Please, call us Usha and Zubin.

 

ELAINE: Oh. Well, Usha..

 

ZUBIN: I'm Zubin.

 

ELAINE: (Shrugging it off) Anyway, your son is marrying my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke..

 

USHA: You're not going to the wedding, are you?

 

ELAINE: Well..

 

USHA: Don't go. India is a dreadful, dreadful place.

 

ZUBIN: You know, it's the only country that still has the plague? I mean, the plague! Please!

 

USHA: Here's the registry. Send her a gift, and be glad you did not have to go.

 

ELAINE: (Soaking it in) Right. Don't go. Send a gift. I think I understand.

 

ZUBIN: If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire trip.

 

ELAINE: (Leaving) That's fantastic.

 

ZUBIN: And I'm not so crazy about Manhattan, either.

[Guest Downhome]

I guess India isn't as clean as I'd thought.

 

I hate this for Regal, I hope he heals up soon.

You thought India was clean?

Not hardly, heh.

[Guest razazteca]

I'm thinking how the hell can India produce so many computer programmers and doctors yet have parasites problems

 

And Regal was starting to get entertaining then this crap happens.

[Guest Slapnuts00]

India is divided by class, the rich are really rich and well off, while the poor are dirt poor and have parasites.

What really scares me is that there's a potential that everyone on Raw could have the parasite. I hope its not life threatening!

[Guest AndrewTS]

Well I believe that they were already planning on having Morley/Storm drop the titles if Regal wasn't able to return by Mania.

 

WWe truly is cursed...now the whole roster could have aliens running around in their bodies.

 

Hey...maybe HHH got the chest burster variety...

It could easily be more entertaining than him if it hopped out and did a dance number during one of his matches.

 

Sucks for Regal--although I was a fan of Morely's ring work when he's on. I hope he'll be healthy again soon, although I'm not going to be looking especially forward to his wrestling.

 

I'm thinking how the hell can India produce so many computer programmers and doctors yet have parasites problems

 

Because they want to get the hell out of the country and make a living elsewhere. Most of them are educated in other countries, like the United States.

[Guest AndrewTS]

India is divided by class, the rich are really rich and well off, while the poor are dirt poor and have parasites.

What really scares me is that there's a potential that everyone on Raw could have the parasite. I hope its not life threatening!

Hopefully not...

 

"You see, there is only room for one parasite on the Raw roster-uh."

[Guest BRUCE]

 

That some of the funniest shit I have ever read!

[Guest Quik]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Serves fucking Vince right!

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Damn.......I really was not expecting this news.........one of the weirdest things I've heard yet.......*walks around dumbfounded*

[Guest bob_barron]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Serves fucking Vince right!

Ummmmmmmmm okay.

 

What do you mean serves him right?

[Guest Downhome]

After thinking about it, I really REALLY hope he gets better soon. Something like this could become VERY serious, VERY quickly.

[Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0]

Dude. Please... nobody be apathetic cunts here. The man has some sort of ongoing, only-worsening stomach pain that must be hurting him 3-5x more than anything I've ever gotten, and just think if he has to actually crap the thing out and he loses a gallon of blood out his colon an-- oh. I'm making it worse. *kicks self*

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

how did he get it?

 

did he drink or eat any of the food in India?

[Guest Quik]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Serves fucking Vince right!

Ummmmmmmmm okay.

 

What do you mean serves him right?

Well, Vince likes to push his wrestlers to the limit by making them tour fucking 3rd world countries, and now all of his roster may be incubating a parasite. If this pops up in more people, he's fucked, and it's his own damn fault.

 

I meant nothing bad towards Regal, no one deserves it (except maybe Vince, who probly didn't even make the trip).

[Guest Johnson1620]

Dude. Please... nobody be apathetic cunts here. The man has some sort of ongoing, only-worsening stomach pain that must be hurting him 3-5x more than anything I've ever gotten, and just think if he has to actually crap the thing out and he loses a gallon of blood out his colon an-- oh. I'm making it worse. *kicks self*

Dude, that was one of the funniest/grotesque post I've ever seen!