National guardman changed his name to a toy

[The Robfather 0]

National guardman changed his name to a toy

 

CUYAHOGA FALLS -- A member of Ohio's 5694th National Guard Unit in Mansfield legally changed his name to a Transformers toy.

 

Optimus Prime is heading out to the Middle East with his guard unit on Wednesday to provide fire protection for airfields under combat.

 

"On Sunday, we were awarded as the best firefighting unit in the Army National Guard in the entire country," said Prime. "That was a big moment for us."

 

Prime took his name from the leader of the Autobots Transformers, which were popular toys and a children's cartoon in the 1980s.

 

He legally changed his name on his 30th birthday and now it's on everything from his driver's licence, to his military ID, to his uniform.

 

"They razzed me for three months to no end," said Prime. "They really dug into me about it."

 

"I got a letter from a general at the Pentagon when the name change went through and he says it was great to have the employ of the commander of the Autobots in the National Guard."

 

Prime says the toy actually filled a void in his life when it came out.

 

"My dad passed away the year before and I didn't have anybody really around, so I really latched onto him when i was a kid," he said.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Hero of the moment.

[Guest SP-1]

That's the greatest thing I've ever read.

 

Today.

[Guest EricMM]

We're saved. This war is over, folks.

 

Iraqi advisor: Sir we just received word that Optimus Prime has joined the enemy ranks!

 

Saddam H.: HOLY SHIT! He's a robot AND a truck! We're screwed!

[Guest SP-1]

We're saved. This war is over, folks.

 

Iraqi advisor: Sir we just received word that Optimus Prime has joined the enemy ranks!

 

Saddam H.: HOLY SHIT! He's a robot AND a truck! We're screwed!

[Guest MD2020]

If he really wanted to go Transformers, he should have changed it to "Starscream". Now, there was a bad-ass Decepticon.

[Guest Ram]

I wonder how long until an Iraqi officer renames himself to "Megatron".

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Optimus Prime is the coolest name anyone can ever have. EVER.

[Guest Blue Bacchus]

I've read about this guy before. He changed his name after a terrible divorce. Further Evidence in the case that I'm building against women in general.

 

If he really wanted to go Transformers, he should have changed it to "Starscream". Now, there was a bad-ass Decepticon.

 

Damn Straight! ::Checks Sig and Avatar::

[Guest JangoFett4Hire]

I guess bumble bee was out of the question

[Guest Flyboy]

Man, that is just funny.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

I wonder if he's ever tempted to give the command of "Autobots, transform and roll out."

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

 

Don't Tread On Me

[Guest saturnmark4life]

Fucker beat me to it. Congrats to him.

[Guest the pinjockey]

The first thing I thought of when i read this was Saddam sitting in his mansion then all of a sudden out of thin air music starts blasting through the air.

 

"You got the touch, dun dun dun, you got the powerrrrrrrrr!"

 

Then Prime drives through the wall and runs over everything and everyone.

 

Now the rest of his troops need to take on names. (At least as nicknames)

[Guest MrRant]

I would picture him running over a bunch of Republican guards and then in slow motion to "You got the touch, dun dun dun, you got the powerrrrrrrrr!" he transformers and blows away the remaining Republican guard and Saddam.

[Guest Hogan Made Wrestling]

Optimus: One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall.

 

Sadaam: I'll Crush You With My Bare Hands Optimus!