ROH 3/22 Reviews

[Guest My Eyebrow is on fire]

Ok well I wasn't in the best of moods when I got there because I left at 5:30 and I fucking got lost in the god damn ghetto of philadelphia. I arrived at 8 pm and missed the 4 way with stryker.

 

I decided to splurge and be good to myself since I was so pissed off - I would get 3rd row reserved seating instead of GA, at least I could sit down.

 

Anyway some asshole from GA took my seat - and I was so angry I couldn't bring myself to make anyone move, I just stood at the entryway for awhile.

 

SPECIAL K v.s. SAT

 

Ok I got to the first match to see Special K who have a bullshit gimmick where they pretend to snort drugs in mime fashion, and then do some gay rave dance. I think they fought the SAT....it was just a damn spot fest, but it was very innovative, and the crowd was hot. It was funny because I was wondering when I went in - if ROH was toning down it's harsh language and encouraging the fanbase to be civil - to get more old school fans. Heh, the MOMENT I walked in - a crazy man with a huge beard screamed across the ring "you suck DICK" - and the wrestler cutting the promo said that, no, it was the heckler's mother who was the dicksucker - not he. *1/2

 

Ah class.

 

The dumbasses were trying another "worked riot" and some black man dressed in a raggady raiders jersey and Sean John jacket was cussing out the bodyguards. They were working a NYC v.s. Philly fans rivalry - with this feud to set the world on fire. I knew it was a work right away - and whoever booked this bullshit should be shot. However it did have some benefit - I'll get to that in a moment.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS ALERT:

 

If you are a female and attended ROH tonight, you should be ashamed of yourself. I didn't see one attractive woman at that show besides this one girl with big ass tits who was with a black guy in GA bleachers. EVERY OTHER FEMALE was either asshole ugly - or had the nerve to have baby fat love handles and wear fucking belly shirts. If your face looks like someone took a frying pan and bashed your sinus bone and nose in, you should COVER THE FUCK UP.

 

Even the fat retard in the wheel chair who pissed all over the Convention Center Floor knew enough to wear some fucking clothes. Have some goddamn decency, I could have gone blind.

 

Also there was a Muslim dude in attendence. He had a beard and skull cap and I saw him praying in the playground at breaks. I thought he was going to get heckled at some points, but people were actually cool and civilized. Shows even Al Qaeda supports good workrate!

 

Anyway...

 

Backseat Boys v.s. Jobbers

 

Backseat boys beat their opponents when they jobbed. Another spotfest - I couldn't follow psychology at all but I guess openers are supposed to just get the crowd pumped. I personally wasn't pumped at the Backseats' promise to take over the tag team division in ROH in a subpar promo. I would be pumped, however, if they never appeared at an ROH event again. That would be a great announcement.

 

All the women went crazy over those guys, I don't understand their appeal. Even the black women loved them.

 

The worked riot started again, and consequently killed the crowd. I got 2 pieces of pizza and a coke and the fucking assholes spilled the shit on my shirt. I was very very tempted to throw some non-worked punches, but I was TOTALLY mesmorized by the spanish mami that was with the "queens" crowd. She had these ravishing dick sucking lips and great complexion. My dick got rock hard and as an added bonus - the "bouncer" left a chair which was used in the worked riot. I stole the chair when he wasn't looking and sat it as an extra seat in the third row!

 

Their crowd heat was destroyed for a moment's time, but at least they satisfied a paying customer (me)!

 

Final Rating for Backseat v.s. Jobbers - 1/2*

 

GAY BASHING MATCH

 

Somebody dressed up like a flaming queen and did Alan Funk's material. Horrible match.

 

Tag Team Grudge Match

Raven & Colt Cabana vs. CM Punk & Ace Steel

 

Good garbage brawl. CM Punk cut a KILLER promo to begin with saying why he's straight edge. Raven cut a stone-cold-esque promo where he was grinning and cracking wisecracks. He said CM Punk used to get molested by Michael Jackson - which I have not verified as being true just yet.

 

Fun brawl with Colt Cabana playing the face in peril most of the time. Raven won and Punk got put through a table. Russo apparently booked the match because Raven DDT'd Ace Steel 3 times until Colt Cabana turned on him. Colt's reason was "Raven is washed up." and they beat Raven down.

 

Hmm....the worst turn EVER in my opinion. Raven just single handedly led his team to a convincing clean win over CM Punk, and destroyed his tag partner afterwards while Punk fled like a coward. Doesn't sound too washed up to me - but Cabana turned anyone and began the beatdown. What bullshit. Maybe ** just because Punk's promo and in ring charisma were cool. Cabana needs to retire, or die.

 

ROH Tag Team Title Match

Mark & Jay Briscoe vs. AJ Styles & The Amazing Red

 

Good little match with Red bumping like a rag doll and bringing out some nice innovative offense. AJ styles gave a great performance, turned in a hell of a workrate. Briscoes sold well and :gasp: remembered their injured body parts throughout the match. Alexis got a chant - I don't know why, she looked like she was smoking crack judging by the sagging skin off of her face and bones sticking out of her tights. She was sort of pretty, and she was chewing gum like a street prostitute - so she won Valet of the Night!

 

Anyway, Red and Styles had this tag team finisher where - Briscoe got hurricanrana'd off of the top and styles caught him and threw him...and power bombed him and reversed it...it took like 8 steps to complete and was a complicated, insane spot. Great finish to a fun match! ***

 

Note - I was worried ROH was turning into a shit promotion of gore like XPW because they were having ladder matches and gimmicks - but up until now, all matches ended in a hand shake, and all matches had clean finishes. Oh, there was a DQ match, but I do not remember it for some reason - probably took a piss. Anyway, Raven's match was the one junk prop match, the rest were good old fashioned wrestling! Good shit!

 

 

Jody Fleisch v.s. Low Ki

 

Match of the fucking YEAR. Perfect in every way. Crowd exploded for both men and I got goose bumps. I knew I was witnesses a classic. The workrate, psychology, selling and finish to this match were flawless. There was one spot which was ALMOST blown by Low Ki, but it's barely noticeable, and the crowd heat and selling was so good, I would be a fat, hamburger munching dickhead on Ken Anderson's shit list if I took it into account.

 

*****......get this tape for this match, seriously. THey need to put the belt on Low-Ki, because he's what this promotion should be about. The finish saw Low Ki go over cleanly in an insane top rope pump handle pile driver thingy which looked like it snapped Jody's spine.

 

FWA Title Match

Doug Williams vs. Christopher Daniels (Champion)

 

Disappointment of the night. In the first 5 minutes, we saw 2 headlocks and a chinlock. I actually liked their first match in Glory of Honor better. It picked up steam at the end, but in my opinion, it was a bit too late. Williams went over in a nice reversal. ** 1/2

 

 

ROH Title Match

Samoa Joe vs. Xavier (Champion)

 

Samoa Joe is cool - and he's the new champ. OK match, I was just happy to see the belt off of overrated, heatless, charisma barren Xavier. Only really cool part of the match was Joe no selling Xavier's chops - oh and Alison Danger got beat the fuck up. No cartoonish WWF violence on women - we saw Alison get punched in the face. Square bitch! Go bake a pie!

 

Xavier submitted to some damn thing. A little stiff, but a little bit better than average. Have a re-match of Joe v.s. Low-Ki and give Low Ki the belt.

 

OK-Good show...sorry it's a little sparse on details, I got there late. Thumbs up because it didn't have hardly any ECW wannabe hardcore crap. Pure competition. They promised Dusty Rhodes at a future show - goddamn it. If they're HELL BENT on bringing in vets, show that this fed is for workers only - and bring in Mutoh or wheel in Dynamite kid or something.

 

Wrestling, what a concept.

[Guest Doyo]

Females should be encouraged to go indy wrestling shows, not made fun

of. I must admit I've made fun of some of them in the past, but really

it is good for them to attend a show and have fun.

[Guest OSIcon]

I saw things a little differently in some places.

 

The four way was a good opener. This was Whitmer and Stryker's ROH Philly debuts and both looked good. Arion is still bland and does nothing for me. Dixie looked alright. Solid, energetic opener that the crowd was into. Whitmer picke dup the win and was surprsingly over.

 

Mikey explained that he turned on the SAT/Quiet Storm because they weren't having fun anymore and they were "squares". That lead to a six man scramble vs. Special K. Middle of the pack scramble. Nothing great, but nothing too blown or anything. What you expect from a scramble match.

 

Backseat Boys defeat Dunn and Marcos. Both teams were over. Dunn and Marcos are really becoming a cult favorite remenicent of the Mulkeys. Was just kind of there. I am not as impressed with the Backseat Boys has other people are.

 

Doug Williams beat Christopher Daniels to become the number one contender and the new FWA Champion. I was actually suprised by this match, not disappointed. Their Glory By Honor match was okay, but just kind of there. This match came off a lot better with good reversals, smart work, and good storytelling. The headlocks at the beginning were just part of the build of the match. You know, a slow build instead of jumping right into things. Match of the Night in my opinion.

 

The six man was pretty bad. For some reason that was never announced, Michael Shane was replaced by Jack Victory. Victory didn't look ready to wrestle at all and wore his fanny pack in the ring. The riot stuff took place during this match which was just a 10 minute brawl in and out of the ring. Not too good. The crowd didn't respond to this angle, but it didn't really kill the crowd for the rest of the night.

 

Carnage Crew beat Mace/Hercules Hernandez. Normal "back from intermission" match. Nothing to it really.

 

The tag title match was disappointing. The Briscoes looked off and Red didn't look to great either. The match also had a werid flow. THey came right out of the gate with high impact moves, but slowed down from time to time. The finish came off great and really popped the crowd, but it was pretty underwhelming overall. Would have been helped by having London in it.

 

Fleisch vs. Low Ki was really good. Lots of cool spots and fast paced mat work at the beginning that got the crowd into it. Low Ki won but Fleisch walked away being really over.

 

The Raven tag was actually better then the tag title match. It had a better structure and nothing was really blow. Lots of mic work before the match that was good, just a little long. Crowd was burnt out though, which didn't help the match too much. Could have shaved off 5 minutes of the match and 5 minutes of the mic work. Raven picked up the win and Cabana turned on him post match. Cabana seemed to have hurt his ankle a little bit on a moonsault to the outside, but nothing bad.

 

The title match was good. Xavier is heatless? He is the most over heel ROH has. Again, the crowd was burnt out by this time, but they were sitll solidily behind Joe and against Xavier. Fun ten minute match. Joe destroyed Xavier at the start, then Xavier took over for a little while, before Joe made a final comeback. Joe chokes him out for the win in the same manner he beat Homicide on 11/9 in the six man. Joe gets emotional after winning and gets a big ovation.

 

Overall, good show. Not the best ROH show, but still some good matches and only one match (the six man) that was really bad.

[Guest My Eyebrow is on fire]

Females should be encouraged to go indy wrestling shows, not made fun

of. I must admit I've made fun of some of them in the past, but really

it is good for them to attend a show and have fun.

ROH is for everyone of course! I'm just saying, if you look like a damn chimpanzee don't wear a belly shirt and tight jeans.

[Chunk 0]

When did the FWA title match take place on the card?

 

You both have it down at different times. I think OSIcon must have it right, as surely they wouldnt have put it out after the Fleisch/Ki match.

 

I cant wait to see this show for Fleisch/Ki. Im glad that lived up to the potential it had.

 

I woldnt mind reading some more thoughts on the FWA title match. I was really hopeing that that match wold be really good, and would get some decent exposure for the FWA. Its a damn shame that Williams went over though. Why couldnt they wait until FWA/ROH and put the belt on him there. No offence to you guys, but unless you are from the UK I doubt you can appreciate the FWA title change as much as a home audience would have.

 

At least we can be 99% sure now though that Daniels wont be coming over to the UK for FWA/ROH now.

 

I wonder who they will have Doug feud with for the belt?

 

ChUnK!

[Guest bob_barron]

I can't believe they put the belt on Samoa Joe. I like the guy and all but they should've saved the belt for someone else- maybe FINALLY let Paul London go over

[Chunk 0]

I agree with you on that one Bob. You never know though, Doug could go over him at the next show. (That also puts your hope for Ki to be champ out of the window as well - eyebrow).

 

Thinking about it, I can understand why Doug went over last night. With the British breakout tour coming up, the FWA must have wanted the Doug to defend the belt on as many shows as possible. His first defence is a 2/3 falls match against Juvi. Sounds awesome

 

I just find it annoying that after all this time and all those #1 contendership matches over here in the UK, the belt ends up changing hands stateside

 

ChUnK!

[Guest Oddy]

Somebody got a camera in and has put a few clips of the Daniels - Williams match and the Ki - Fliesch match up. Here's the links:

 

A sequence from late in Williams/Daniels - this clip is dark

 

Low Ki kicking Jodie`s face off when he`s sitting on the top rope

 

The final 1:30 of Ki/Fleisch minus the pinfall

 

The finish of the Low - Ki Vs Jodie Fliesch looks absolutely sick and looks like it must of killed Jodie - check it out.

[Chunk 0]

Somebody got a camera in and has put a few clips of the Daniels - Williams match and the Ki - Fliesch match up. Here's the links:

 

A sequence from late in Williams/Daniels - this clip is dark

 

Low Ki kicking Jodie`s face off when he`s sitting on the top rope

 

The final 1:30 of Ki/Fleisch minus the pinfall

 

The finish of the Low - Ki Vs Jodie Fliesch looks absolutely sick and looks like it must of killed Jodie - check it out.

Good find my man

 

I'm downloading them as we speak. It shouldnt take too long - even with my 56k connection. Ill let you know what I think in a when they're done.

 

ChUnK!

[Chunk 0]

Jody! Jody! Jody! Jody!

 

That was an awesome looking spot. I cant wait to see that match in full.

 

Doug pulled that swinging choke out of the bag last week at Crunch in his match against James Tighe. Except, he held it on for about 2 1/2 times as long as he did in that clip (at least it seemed about that much longer).

 

ChUnK!