News on Nash - return date, Kidman, Shark Boy

[Guest hb2k_buzzsaw]

Looks like we can look forawrd to the return of Kevin Nash within the next 5 days, as he will either appear at Wrestlemania, or will be on Raw the next night....

 

However, he will not be appearing as Kevin Nash - he will return as Diesel. He stated that 'Kevin Nash' hadn't had a lot luck. Under this name, it seems the chances are a lot higher that he will return as a face, and alongside HBK.

 

MRI results show that Kidman isn't in any danger, and he should be ok.

 

There are no plans to sign Shark Boy.

[Guest bob_barron]

Source?

[Guest geniusMoment]

hbk do you always wear a yankees hat and have a penchant for extreme violence?

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

I love this guy. He just flat out gives no sources and names random stuff. Fuck this, I'm starting up my own news updates. Should be fun.

[Guest razazteca]

OMG ITZ HOT NEWZ SECRET IDENTITY!!!!!!11111

[Guest Mattdotcom]

Bret Hart is coming back to lead the Alliance.

[Guest hb2k_buzzsaw]

Trust me on this guys...

[Guest snuffbox]

News flash - The Ultimate Warrior has died.

[Guest bob_barron]

Why should we trust you? What's your source?

[Mecha Mummy 0]

... No, I want to! Here's the first Gosunkugi "If I Say It It Must Be Right" Report!

 

Kevin Nash will be returning eventually. He may or may not use the Diesel gimmick.

 

Wrestlemania will be in Seattle this year.

 

TAKA Michinoku is somewhere in Japan.

 

(And now I start getting ridiculous.)

 

Scott Hall has no plans to return to WWE because he is, in actuality, going to be the new leader of NWA-TNA's Sports Entertainment Xtreme faction.

 

Brock Lesnar is actually Crash Holly after gamma rays. This is why you never see them in the same place. Actually, they did once, but that was a robot that looks like Crash Holly.

 

WWE will be re-signing Mabel and moving Mark Henry to Raw so they can both be managed by Teddy Long and form quite possibly the most talentless stable ever with Rodney Mack.

 

The new trainers of Tough Enough will be Triple H, William Regal, and Hardcore Holly. Expect most of the contestants to be injured or reduced to quivering masses by episode three.

 

And that's the news. What? I don't name sources and for all you know I could just be completely random, so you KNOW I'm right!

[Guest Youth N Asia]

There are no plans to sign Shark Boy.

Why is this news? It's not a story. There was never any serious hint of him getting a deal. Tons of people get dark matches and even small tv guest spots.

 

Might as well have added "WWE has no plans to sign Abdullah The Butcher"

[Guest FeArHaVoC]

Wrestling Observer reported the Nash stuff. But, I didn't see anything about him returning in the next 5 days.

 

Plus, Nash wants to return as Diesel because everyone knows Vince doesn't like to push guys he didn't create so Nash thinks he'll do better as Diesel.

 

In other random news, it's being reported that Lita is really Funaki in drag!

[Guest Mattdotcom]

In other random news, it's being reported that Lita is really Funaki in drag!

 

I feel really dirty all of a sudden.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bret Hart is coming back to lead the nWo Red, White, and Blue.

[Guest notJames]

NewZFlaZh:

 

Vince McMahon's real name is Vince McMahon, Jr.

 

Credit: OMG GOD~! NewZ

[Guest Downhome]

"WWE has no plans to sign Abdullah The Butcher"

Damnit.

[Guest AM The Kid]

LOOKIT ITS AM NEWS!

 

Today WWE signed Abdullah The Butcher, he should be making his debut at Wrestlemania. This comes as a relief to Brent Lumpkin, Abdullah's new manager.

 

Credit: Myself and my little brain

[Guest bob_barron]

OMG THE USLATIMARE WARRIOR OS CIMING BACK OT THWE wwe1!!!11

[Guest Downhome]

LOOKIT ITS AM NEWS!

 

Today WWE signed Abdullah The Butcher, he should be making his debut at Wrestlemania. This comes as a relief to Brent Lumpkin, Abdullah's new manager.

 

Credit: Myself and my little brain

OH MAH GAWD~!

[Guest saturnmark4life]

This coming in: Perry Saturn is actually better than Scott Steiner.

 

1wrestling

[Guest crandamaniac]

*!*!*!*!*CRAND NEWS UPDATE*!*!*!*!*

Billy Kidman's name is Billy Kidman

 

The WWE has not talked to me about a job yet, but may do so soon.

 

I like Pie

 

credit: I'm fucking bored

[Mecha Mummy 0]

There are rumors circling that Stevie Richards and Victoria may be in an on-camera relationship. This is considered a shocker by nobody.

 

Credit: The I Say It So I Must Be Right Report

[Guest notJames]

This just in:

 

The grotesque flab on Stephanie McMahon's arms is real, and not the result of a botched breast implant by a near-sighted plastic surgeon.

 

When asked for comment, Stephanie looked up from her corned beef and pastrami sandwich and replied "Mmmph phlph mmbph ummph."

 

Mmmph phlph mmbph ummph indeed.

 

Credit: OMG GOD~! NewZ

[Guest evilhomer]

NEWSFLASH!!!

 

Roddy Piper and Jesse Ventura will take over commentating duties for WM!!!

 

credit: I read this much of the damn thread so I had to contribute

[Guest BifEverchad]

This just in:

 

The grotesque flab on Stephanie McMahon's arms is real, and not the result of a botched breast implant by a near-sighted plastic surgeon.

 

When asked for comment, Stephanie looked up from her corned beef and pastrami sandwich and replied "Mmmph phlph mmbph ummph."

 

Mmmph phlph mmbph ummph indeed.

 

Credit: OMG GOD~! NewZ

[Guest Vern Gagne]

Andre the Giant will turn on Hulk Hogan.

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

News flash:

The OAOAST has been bought by the WWE, which will lead to a new Invasion, and Mario Logan, and Agnes winning both world titles. The Dungeon of Doom will conquer Smackdown, Lars Ulrich, David Lee Roth, and Axl Rose are expected to do commentary.

 

If this is true, two years later:

 

News flash:

The WWE has declared ultra-mega-super-duper-bankruptcy.

[Guest notJames]

Andre the Giant will turn on Hulk Hogan.

For reasons I have yet to fathom, I howled over that one.

[Guest NoCalMike]

Only worse thing than Kevin Nash returning at all, is Kevin Nash returning as Diesel.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Might as well have added "WWE has no plans to sign Abdullah The Butcher"

Source?

[Guest notJames]

Might as well have added "WWE has no plans to sign Abdullah The Butcher"

Source?

If this thread was a comedy skit, that would be the perfect ending for it.

 

Kudos.