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WWE Heat Recap: March 16th, 2003

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Guest TSMAdmin

Yeah, I’m sorry I’m a little late this week, but with things as crazy as they are around here, it’s hard to find time to recap a show as apathetic as Heat.


Anyway, without further adieu...


The show opens up with The Rock telling Bischoff that the only goal he has left is to beat Steve Austin at Wrestlemania.


The pyro goes off, and since The Coach is in the doghouse for his acts at the recent Girls Gone Wild Pay Per View, your announcers are Marc Lloyd and Lita. I don’t know who’s worse, Lloyd or Coachman, but at least I’ll be spared Coach hitting on Lita every second. Man, I can only imagine how much of an ass Coach made out of himself at Girls Gone Wild...


The Secret World of Rodney Mack (w/ Theodore Long) is here to start off the show, and I couldn’t be any more indifferent. Long steps to the mic and bitches about Mack and himself not being on RAW yet again. He draws the race card and talks about “The Man” holding them down... yeah... yeah... Teddy cuts the same exact promo he has been for the past month.


His opponent is Tommy Dreamer, who gets a nice reaction from the crowd.


Match One: The Secret World of Rodney Mack vs. Tommy Dreamer

The bell rings and Mack goes to work with rights, lefts and some stomps. Mack chokes Dreamer across the bottom rope. More brawling from Mack, followed by an Irish whip and a shoulder block. Mack hits Dreamer with some more shots in the corner, and whips him hard across the ring to the other turnbuckle. Overhead belly to belly suplex by Mack for two. Mack goes right back to work with some haymakers . Whip by Mack but he telegraphs the back body drop and gets sunset flipped by Dreamer for two. Clothesline by Mack for two. Whip by Mack, reversed, but this time Dreamer telegraphs it and gets kicked in the midsection. Powerslam by Dreamer followed by a clothesline to the outside. Mack tosses Dreamer back into the ring after pushing him into the ring apron. Lloyd mentions that Mack was trained by the late Junkyard Dog, a little tidbit that I didn’t know. Mack climbs to the top rope, but gets shoved off. Dreamer hangs Mack upside down in the Tree of woe and kicks him. Dreamer then climbs on Mack’s nuts. Interesting. Long goes for the Singapore Cane, but Dreamer beats him to it. Dreamer tries to hit Mack with the Cane, but Mack ducks and tries for an overhead belly to belly suplex, but Dreamer slips behind. Dreamer goes for a DDT, but Mack holds onto the ropes. Mack hits a neckbreaker for the win. Lame finish to a pretty lame match. Wow, Mack managed to squash Dreamer while only doing two actual moves the entire match.



Steven Richards vs. Al Snow is our main event for tonight.


The Hardy Boyz book is shilled, and commercials follow.


They advertise The Rock and Steve Austin at RAW, followed by a Wrestlemania promo, which is accompanied by yet another crappy Limp Bizkit theme...


Damnit, I haven’t had to deal with this guy in a while, but SPIKE FUCKING DUDLEY has a match tonight. His opponent is... MATT STRYKER, who is a pretty talented high flyer on the independent scene. I haven’t seen him work, but I’ve heard good things and I’m looking foward to this match, even if it will probably be a squash for Spike Dudley.


Match Two: Spike Dudley vs. Matt Stryker

Spike offers to shake Stryker’s hand, but Stryker won’t do it. I can’t say I blame him. Stryker is only a shade taller than Spike, but has a better physique. Tie-up to start, drop toehold by Spike, followed by an armbar. Stryker fights out of it, and they tie up again. Stryker backs Spike into the corner, but gets with some rights. Hurricanrana by Spike, and he does the OMG I’M GONNA RUN ON YOUR CHEST IN THE CORNER, BECAUSE I’M SO SMALL move. Flying forearm in the corner by Spike. Poor Stryker, he’s being squashed. Spike tries for the Dudley Dog, but Stryker shoves him off. Spike comes back with a forearm. Thumb to the eye by Stryker, and he’s got the crowd into him as a heel. Stiff kick to the midsection by Stryker. Scoop Slam by Stryker for two. Forearm by Stryker, knocking Spike to the outside. Stryker tosses Spike back into the ring, and clubs Spike in the back. Kick to the face by Stryker for two. Whip by Stryker, but he telegraphs it. Small Package by Spike for two. Rollup by Spike for two. Heel kick by Stryker which Lloyd calls a dropkick for two. Snapmare by Stryker and a knee to the back. Stryker tries for a back suplex but Spike flips out of it. Whip to the corner by Stryker but Spike comes out with the SPEAR, BUT OMG, GUESS WHAT? HE’S SO SMALL HE CAN’T KNOCK HIM DOWN WITH THE SPEAR followed by the Dudley Dog for the win. Pretty dull.



RAW Recap: Rundown of the HBK/Jericho feud

They showed clips from last week as well as the week before that’s RAW, namely the con-chair-to Test, followed by Michaels superkicking Jericho last week.


Al Snow vs. Steven Richards is shilled as the main event again. Up next is a recap of the Austin/Rock promo from two weeks ago. Commercials follow.


RAW Recap: Austin and The Rock tear up the mic

Man, I never thought I’d want to see Rock vs. Austin at Wrestlemania YET AGAIN, but shit, I’m sort of looking forward to this one. It won’t be as good as their X-7 match, but it should still be a nice matchup, and hopefully one that The Rock wins.


Bischoff vs. Austin is shilled for last night’s RAW.


Jacqueline vs. Molly is next. Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon video package is shown. Commercials follow.


I’ve seen this friggin match WAY TOO MANY TIMES.


Match Three: Molly vs. Jacqueline

Tie-up to start, arm wringer by Molly, reversed by Jackie. Jackie shoves Molly down, and cradles her for two. Tie-up again, side headlock by Molly. Jackie shoves out, but gets hit with a shoulder block. Jackie gets right up and hits three arm drags in a row on Molly, followed by a drop toehold. Molly rolls out of the ring claiming she injured her hand. Of course, she’s faking, and blind sides Jackie, slamming her into the steel steps, and into the ring. Molly tosses Jackie into the ring, and hits a nice snap suplex for two. Molly stomps away on Jackie, and rakes Jackie’s face, followed by a rear chinlock, uhh, I think. Jackie elbows out, and hits a crossbody coming off the ropes for two. Molly fights right back with a clothesline for two, followed by a nice neckbreaker for two. Right back to that rake to the face by Molly. Molly chokes Jackie with the ropes, and Molly breaks at 4. Jackie gets whipped into the corner, but Molly gets hit with an elbow. Jackie takes Molly down with some rights and a dropkick. Molly gets whipped into the ropes, and gets hit with a spinning back elbow for two. Three kicks to the midsection by Jackie, and she sets up for the Tornado DDT. Molly shoves out of it, and Jackie does a forward roll for no reason. I thought she was going for a Monkey flip, but instead, opts for the TEN PUNCHES OF DOOM! Jacqueline hits an enziguri for two, but Molly rolls Jackie up right out of the pinfall and picks up the win.



Next up is a recap of The Rock vs. The Hurricane. A Wrestlemania promo airs before the commercials.


Wrestlemania Moment

Butterbean destroys Bart Gunn, and makes the entire Brawl 4 All look like an even bigger joke than it already was.


RAW Recap: The Rock vs. Hurricane

Well, it was nice of The Rock to put Hurricane over, even in a fluke. That’s what sets The Rock apart from most of the other main eventers.


Our main event of Steven Richards vs. Al Snow is next, following these commercials.


Promo for Wrestlemania 3rd Degree airs.


Man, Al Snow got a HUGE reaction.


Victoria distracts Snow outside the ring, and he’s blind sided by Richards. Richards throws Snow into the ring and the match beings...


Main Event: Al Snow vs. Steven Richards

Richards hits Snow with some brawling, while Lloyd says he isn’t very manly. Lita agrees with him; being more manly than Lloyd herself. Chop in the corner by Richards followed by a whip. Baseball slide by Snow followed by a clothesline. Snow goes to work on Richards in the corner with some brawling, and Snow tosses him over the top rope. Victoria gets in the way, and Al plants a liplock on her. Richards attacks Snow from behind with some rights and lefts. Victoria acts like she loved the kiss from Snow, playing into her psycho image. Richards chokes Snow in the corner, and goes to work with some stomps. Neckbreaker by Richards for two. Full Nelson by Richards, and he yells “THIS IS FOR YOU LITA!” Lita screams something about a rat trap, as Snow tries to fight out of the full nelson. The crowd chants “WE WANT HEAD” which causes Victoria to cover her ears. Snow eventually elbows out and counters with an inverted atomic drop and some clubbing blows taking Richards down. Snow locks Richards up and hits the HEADBUTTS OF DOOM right into a neckbreaker for two. Snow taunts Victoria, and back body drops Richards. Richards pleads with Snow to stop, but Snow kicks him right in the midsection. Snow gets whipped into the corner. Snow tries to baseball slide to avoid hitting the buckles, but Victoria grabs his leg, and snow walks right into the Stevie-T for the win. Short and mediocre.




Amazingly boring show this week. Rodney Mack seems to be confirming what I’ve heard about him in the ring... that he ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. A good indy talent in Matt Stryker was squashed by Spike Dudley. Molly and Jacqueline wrestled once again, in a match that is reaching Trish Stratus and Bubba Ray Dudley vs. William Regal and Molly Holly in terms of redundancy. The main event wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t given enough time to be anything decent.


Peter "FakeRazor" Ramoncolor>


As always, you can reach me here.


whacked Out wrestling


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