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Forewarned

Promo: Neilsen's History

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Neilsen’s History…the greatest history in the history of the federation!:

 

Matches are in bold

 

-Signed up two posts after Stubby. He went to IGNWF and Neilsen went to the IGNJL.

-Wrestled on the first IGNJL show with a loss to the Exploding Chicken.

-Immediately criticized for his language in his promos.

-Defeated Mercury in the first round of the first JL World Champion Tourney.

-Feuds with BIO, Prime Evil, Bobby Riley and particularly Exploding Chicken.

-Loses to Bobby Riley in World Title tourney.

-Gets AIDS in someone else’s promo, then it’s taken away somehow as a dying Neilsen scared more people than a healthy Neilsen.

-Bongo, Neilsen’s pet elephant, appears in an Exploding Chicken promo.

-Defeats a pretty boy Grimedogg to become the IGNJL European Champion with an accidental assist from the Dahm Triplets.

-Neilsen refuses the title by throwing it out to the crowd, saying the only title that matters in a Junior League is the World Title. Drew/Rane forces Neilsen to defend it.

-Neilsen calls out “the scrawny bitch” World Champion Fallout time and time again.

-Neilsen retains the European title by defeating the Exploding Chicken.

-Bongo dies.

-A unification ladder match between Neilsen and Fallout is scheduled.

-Mass bump cancels match as Neilsen enters the IGNWF!

 

-On his very first show, Neilsen defeats Spike for the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship a few weeks before Spike wins World Championship.

-On that show, Neilsen also joins the Corporation featuring owner Jayson Grant, his son-in-law Angel, Divefire, Danny Vigilante, Mr. Galatea, Chris Wilson and as an occasional ally Jayson’s son, Damian Diablo.

-Neilsen tells the IGNWF to fear him. And they will.

-At the second IGNWF PPV, Neilsen retains the HCG title by defeating Grimedogg in a Lion’s Den with help from a swerve with the Dahms. Neilsen then drops the women after the match.

-Grimedogg snaps and starts shouting, “GRIMEDOGG’S HARDCORE!,” after Neilsen kept claiming a blond pretty boy could never win the HCG title. He also changes his music and wrestling style to match the aggressive style of Neilsen.

-Neilsen retains the HCG title against G.O.A.T. afterwards he symbolically crucified the man who is in a cult-like stable

-Spike wins World Championship. Neilsen constantly degrades him.

-Neilsen and Grimedogg continue to have problems. Neilsen speaks his while Grimey bashes anyone he sees with a lead pipe.

-Neilsen and Grimedogg defeat Light-Heavyweight Champion Mayor McCheese and Exploding Chicken respectively in a tag match. NotJ and GD beat each other and MM and EC got caught in the middle. NotJ pinned MM at the same time GD pinned EC.

-Neilsen gets sick and tired of GD. He challenges him to a match at the next PPV where no matter what the outcome, “Neilsen” and “Grimedogg” would never battle over the HCG title again.

-IGNWF Corporate Christmas. Neilsen retains his HCG title against Grimedogg. The match featured action in the ring, in the back and through the crowd. In the biggest Jungler stunt to date, Neilsen gets yanks off the second deck and crashes 30 ft. through the stage. He is not seen for 15 minutes as Jayson and GD try to track him down. He comes back to win.

-Neilsen is booked in a match with Crucifix Phoenix and a mysterious masked man named Neo.

-Neo pins Crucifix Phoenix and Neilsen for the HCG Championship. Neilsen was sent to the hospital during the match, returned, hit McTwists on both men, climbs the top rope and-Spike took Neilsen out with a spiked bat, allowing Neo to cover Phoenix for the pin. Neo reveals himself as GD. The name was used to allow him to compete for the title.

 

-Neilsen refuses to use another name to allow a rematch and is therefore no longer in HCG title contention.

-Neilsen defeats Tag Team Champions Angelous and Molock, the Fallen, in a handicapped match to declare the #1 Contender to Fallout’s ICTV title. Neilsen also turns a run-in Nuclear Meltdown attempt by Fallout into a McTwist.

-Mr. G dies and DVD break up.

-Rane beats Spike for World Championship.

-Neilsen insults Outcast for being handed the other #1 Contender spot while Neilsen had to beat the Tag Champs to earn his.

-Neilsen defeats Fallout and Outcast in a ladder match for the ICTV title at Clusterfuck.

-Neilsen=Ratings

-Neilsen challenges Angel to a submissions match to prove he’s more than a garbage wrestler.

-Neilsen retains his ICTV title against Angel in a submissions match. Afterwards, Neilsen places Angel’s leg in a chair and frog splashes it to break his leg.

-Neilsen receives flack for breaking his stablemate’s, and his boss’ son-in-law’s, leg.

-Outcast pins Neilsen to win the ICTV Championship. Neilsen’s first loss in the IGNWF. Outcast’s valet hit Neilsen with a chair, causing the loss.

-Laura is assaulted and unwilling to talk about it.

-Neilsen is accused of rape.

-Divefire takes the side of Outcast and Outcast’s friend Bobby Riley against Neilsen.

-Outcast defeats Neilsen and Danny Vigilante and Divefire when Outcast makes Neilsen tap out for the first time in his career. Divefire and Danny were outside the ring.

-Neilsen gets flack for allegedly raping Laura.

-The Corporation is just Neilsen and Danny at this point…maybe Wilson. No one really cared.

-Rane versus Neilsen goes to a no-contest as everyone interferes.

-Outcast and Divefire defeat Neilsen and Danny V at (?) 13th Hour. Danny turns on Neilsen, Bobby runs in and the four men beat the hell outta’ Neilsen. They then announce they’ve formed D.O.A.

-Later in the show, Neilsen, Simon Flare (Stubby) and Chris Wilson help PDS defeat Rane for the World title. They form the Dark Phoenix Dynasty.

-Neilsen declares D.O.A. is Dead on Arrival for choosing to go over on him and challenges Bobby Riley to a Lion’s Den match.

-Light-Heavyweight Champion Bobby Riley defeats Neilsen in a non-title Lion’s Den match.

-Neilsen is f**kin’ pissed.

-Neilsen versus Spike versus Damian Diablo never happens as all three men had transportation problems.

 

 

-Neilsen defeats Spike and Bobby Riley for the Light-Heavyweight Championship by pinning both men following a double McTwist.

-Not sure what all happens next, but here’s the gist.

-Neilsen defeats Cyclone Comet in a non-title match.

-Cyclone Comet defeats Neilsen and Rane in a triple threat match. CC and Rane were the Tag Champs and Rane helped CC win.

-Divefire wins the World title and Neilsen insults his win as being a fluke, demands the first title shot and his request is granted.

-Sacred becomes #1 Contender to Neilsen’s title.

-Divefire retains the World Championship against Neilsen. Sacred interfered to cost Neilsen the match.

-Sacred defeats Neilsen for the Light-Heavyweight Championship.

-Jayson signs a “Lose your Gimmick” match between Neilsen and Comet. If Neilsen lost, he couldn’t swear. If Comet lost, he would have to unmask.

-At a PPV, Neilsen versus Cyclone Comet goes to a no contest. Neither man loses gimmick.

 

-Not sure what happens from here as I started to get worn out, but here’s some stuff…

-Cyclone Comet defeats Neilsen in a Hell in the Cell. This was a World Championship tourney match.

-Comet and Divefire retire…so Neilsen stays to help the fed. OOC.

-Neilsen defeats Mercury, Mark Stevens and Chris Raynor (maybe Storm) by pinning Mercury.

-Mark Stevens defeats Neilsen and Angelous in a triple threat table match by putting Neilsen through a table.

-Outcast beats Neilsen after help by Riley, Divefire and finally Angel. Angel breaks Neilsen’s leg.

-At a PPV, Neilsen defeats Angel in a Stairway to Hell match.

-Stubby wins a Battle Royal match for his World Title against Neilsen, Fallout, Edwin and a couple others.

-Neilsen says this match wasn’t worth his time. His first World Championship reign would be a glorious victory, not one won by throwing someone over a rope.

-Neilsen defeats Jay Dawg in a no-dq match. JD takes 67 nutshots and Wilson and Grunge enter to further brutalize the man.

-The joke that was the Pack is formed and I was barely around to care.

 

-Wilson left the Pack and formed a group with Hville Thugg and Reese Black. Neilsen didn’t even notice.

-Neilsen talks about retiring

-Neilsen then swerves the fans by demanding a shot at nearly every Championship, otherwise he’ll leave for the WWF.

-Edwin MacPhisto retains the U.S. Championship against Neilsen in a Stairway to Hell match.

-Hell if I know as my computer crashed…

 

-I come back a month later to find out…

-Neilsen and Perfect Bo defeated Hville Thugg and Mistress Sarah for the Tag Team Championship when Sarah turned on Bo.

-Don’t know what happened after that but Neilsen kept wrestling without me…a testament to the Jungle King.

-Spark and Chris Raynor defeat Neilsen and Bo for the Tag Team Championship. Not sure if that’s who it was.

-Neilsen announces his mind is back in the game.

-Neilsen defeats Jay Dawg. Jay Dawg was quite impressive in this outing.

-Neilsen defeats Christian Fury in a first round World Championship #1 Contender for Genesis II match despite Bo’s interference.

-Neilsen defeats Kaimen Roja in a second round World Championship #1 Contender for Genesis II match thanks to Bo’s interference.

-Neilsen and Bo are at each other’s throats…promising to meet each other at Genesis II.

-In the first time since the show after Corporate Christmas, Neilsen faces and defeats Grimedogg again in a final round #1 Contender for Genesis II match. Awesome match which saw each man perform the others finishing move, each man kicks out of the others finisher before GD finally fell to a second McTwist.

-Perfect Bo loses his final round match.

-Genesis II is booked to take place in Neilsen’s hometown.

-Sept. 11, 2001

-Genesis II Main Event: ELM defeats Neilsen, Wilson, King, Stevens and Stubby

-Neilsen retires as I join the Army.

 

-Due to an administrative error, I return between Basic and AIT.

-Neilsen defeats World Champion Hville Thugg and Perfect Bo in a handicapped match when he pins Thugg.

-Neilsen defeats Bo in the Perfect Challenge. First fall regular, second no-DQ and third table. Bo won first by DQ when Neilsen couldn’t pin him, Neilsen wins second after chair shot and third after putting Bo through a table.

-I leave with orders to Stubby to book a match between Neilsen and Suicide King to declare the true King of the IGNWF. No one else knows I’m going to no show.

-Match apparently never happens as King retires.

 

-The SWF Arrives!-

-The IGNWF closes and a whole new fed begins right after Neilsen leaves.

-One year after his last match, Neilsen returns.

-At From the Fire, Neilsen defeats Frost for the ICTV Championship. Neilsen then hands the title back to Frost.

-Neilsen says a match for a title that he won two years prior was an insult.

-Wildchild defeats Neilsen by DQ.

-Neilsen defeats Michael Craven in a “Can’t Spell Furniture without Fun!” match.

-Neilsen storms King’s office and gets in his face.

-MVS defeats Judge Mental and Neilsen when he pins Judge.

-Neilsen defeats Janus and Fugue when he forces Eddie Long to make a legit count.

-King suspends Neilsen for assaulting Eddie after the match.

-Neilsen kicks the crap out of the SWF security.

-Neilsen kidnaps King’s woman, forces him to reinstate the Jungler and then the woman, Michelle, leaps into Neilsen’s arms.

-King books a match between Neilsen and the nutshot wonder, Jay Dawg in an Inferno Match.

-Neilsen defeats Jay Dawg in an Inferno match with help from his new woman, Michelle.

-Jay Dawg defeats Janus, Beezel and Neilsen in a Four Corner Hardcore Match when he pins Janus.

 

 

There ya’ go, a brief Neilsen history…well…maybe not so brief. But a few matches are missing due to how long ago they were. Most losses, not recent ones, were no-shows as various events caused me to lose my passion…temporarily. One match I know is missing is Neilsen and Mercury defeating another tag team but I forget who, and there are sure to be many others missing, but I wrestled for so long, you can’t blame me. Anyway, there ya’ go…and for the record…

 

 

 

 

 

Exploding Chicken rocks!

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Guest Edwin MacPhisto

It's like watching Behind the Music or something...

 

Two notes: One, I think it was Spark and Chris Raynor that beat Neilsen and Bo for the tag titles...and two, it was Stubby and not me as the 6th man in the Genesis II main event.

 

Ah, memories of Angel getting his leg snapped...and then coming back to lose another random world title shot. I never really understood that guy.

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Thanks Eddie Mac. It's been fixed.

 

Huh...didn't know Stubby was in Genesis II...thought he'd retired by then.

 

But as for Angel... Hell if I know. He would always disappear, get World Title shots, lose and disappear again. Only CC was really pissed I broke his leg without permission. Everyone else enjoyed it.

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Guest Longdogger_Pete

Then there was the time Sigil ripped Mercury's ear off without permission... remember that? That was pretty cool...

 

 

...well, I thought so, anyway.

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Guest Tyler McClelland

Neilsen still = ratings.

 

But uh, Angel is actually gonna be my roommate at college next year, heh. That was probably our first (and only, to date) rip from another fed, and thus, he got shots. Too bad his ass was too lazy to actually write.

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Guest Edwin MacPhisto

...are you guys going to call each other Angel and Outcast?

 

You'll be the COOLEST DUDES IN SCHOOL!

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Guest 5_moves_of_doom
-Bongo dies.

Laura who? Bongo's Death > Outcast's Wife's Death

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Guest vitriol

I think I have that match in my PM's over at ign, I'll check at some point. Oh, and I beat you for a world title shot at some point, right before stubby retired.

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Guest Suicide King

Damn. I have enough ammo here for a million promos.

 

::runs off to dig up Bongo's corpse::

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Guest Insanityman

Gee, just don't knock out the power again King while you go digging.

 

 

Anyway, I'd be scared if I had a roommate that was an ex-WF'er.

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Guest TheBostonStrangler

Bah @ no-selling a broom up the ass. I no-sold a fucking CAR!

 

And seriously, great history. I knew a lot of the highlights of Neilsen's history, but I didn't know a lot of it, and finding out more about him, especially the Neilsen/Grimedogg history, is really cool.

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Unless it was during the period between when I lost the Stairway to Hell match against Edwin and then returned right after Bo and I lost the belts...you never beat me Merc.

 

I would have to cry.

 

Although you have gained my...not admiration, but...not quite disgust by being Tryst.

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Guest AnnieEclectic

::no sells::

 

But seriously, this is an interesting read since I didn't know about the whole mystique involving Neilsen of the Jungle.

 

EDIT: Where is my avatar????? god DAMMIT

 

-Annie

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Guest Beingz0wningj00

I believe it was the Chicken who gave Bongo aids... or was it you he gave them to? Meh.

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Chicken gave me Bongo.

 

Chicken also gave me an injection of AIDS.

 

Chicken took away the AIDS when Neilsen started tearing through Prime Evil without a care.

 

I got rid of Bongo after using him to even the odds against PE again and again.

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Guest Beingz0wningj00

Is it just me, or is it absolutely hilarious that one of the most feared SWF'ers had an elephant?

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