SWF Smarkdown!

[Guest Suicide King]

SWF Smarkdown!!

April 28, 2003

LIVE from the SOLD-OUT TD Waterhouse Arena in Orlando, Florida!!

Send materials to: Suicide King

Due: April 28, 2003 at 5pm eastern

 

Opening Promo - WildChild

The prodigal son has returned and has a few things to talk about!

 

Tag Team Match

Beezel & Mike Van Siclen v. Michael Craven & Janus

There is absolutely no love lost between Beezel and Janus, and it appears that MVS and Craven have some... issues as well. What better way to fan the flames than a good old fashioned tag team match?

 

 

Singles Match

"The Barracuda" Johnny Dangerous v. "The Judge" William Hearford

It looks like there is a chance WildChild just might be back in time for Battleground, and that puts Wild & Dangerous on a collision course with the reigning Tag champions, the near-legendary Justice & Rule. So King has decided to give Johnny a chance to state his intentions loud and clear.

 

 

Handicap Match

Deja Vu v. Neilsen of the Jungle

What does King have up his sleeve here? Are Deja Vu his chosen flunkies? Is he trying to teach them a lesson? Is this a punishment match for Neilsen? Do Kris & Kross even realize how much ice they will need after this match? Answer... All of the above, and no.

 

 

Main Event

Six Man Tornado Tag Team Match

"Deathwish" Danny Williams, Frost & "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson v. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher, Ejiro Fasaki and J Dawg

This should be chaos. Absolute and utter chaos. So why do we do it? Because it will be a rocket-buster!! Possibly the only person that will be in their element here is JD, and he really doesn't get along with anyone, including his teammates. Danny, Frost and TNT are all former M7ers and used to working together, but so are Tom and Ejiro. JD is, as usual, the wildcard. This match will be talked about for a long, long time...

Rules: All six men can be in the ring at once. The first team to score a pinfall or submission wins. DQ and count-out are theoretically in effect, but the ref might be a little too busy to care...

[Guest Suicide King]

Eighteen thousand fans in the TD Waterhouse Centre cheer as Smashing Pumpkins’ “The Everlasting Gaze” begins to play through the house speakers. Their cheering increases in intensity as the Wildchild steps out from behind the curtain, dressed in baggy black pants and a University of Florida basketball jersey. He bangs his head in time with the music for a few seconds before heading down to the ring.

 

“Wildchild has made his return to the SWF,” proclaims ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens. “He’s been gone for nearly a month, after Janus put him on the injured list, now he’s back, and it looks like he’s got something on his mind.”

 

Wildchild reaches the ringside area and walks around the ring to the timekeeper’s table, where he retrieves the microphone from Funyon. “Wildchild’s going to speak,” asks Bobby Riley. “This ought to be good for a few laughs!”

 

Wildchild climbs into the ring and leaps onto the second rope, briefly posing to pop the crowd. After hopping back into the center of the ring, he turns towards the ramp and signals to the audio technicians to cut his music. He takes a few seconds to gather himself before speaking. “You know, I’m not much for talkin’ so I’m gon’ try t’ keep dis short an’ to de point… First of all, it’s good to be back here in de ring.” Wildchild pauses briefly to re-gather thoughts as the crowd applauds politely. “Secondly, it’s good to be here, in ORLANDO FLORIDA!” The Bahama Bomber pauses again to draw the cheap hometown pop. “Now, for those of you who may not know, I been in de injured list for a few weeks after being attacked by de Magnificent Seven…”

 

<<The SmarkTron displays a flashback to the April 4th Storm, where Wildchild was sneak attacked by Janus, featuring a triple-replay of Janus’ Dark Bomb onto the ladder>>

 

Back in the ring, Wildchild gingerly rubs the back of his neck, as if he still felt some pain just watching the footage. “As I’m sure you’re also aware, I decided t’ take matter inta my own hands last week!”

 

<<The SmarkTron now displays footage from the last episode of Lockdown, where Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous assaulted Janus in the backstage area, and were chased out of the arena by the Magnificent Seven>>

 

The crowd cheers enthusiastically at the sight of the Mag 7 getting their comeuppance. “Ever since I been here in de SWF,” continues Wildchild, “de Gamblin’ Man dat be runnin’ de show has been tryin’ t’ break me. He’s been sendin’ goons after me since day one, an’ been knockin’ em down one at a time. He’s also tried to break up me an’ Johnny, but that turned out as planned, either, an’ now we’re gon’ to show up his golden boys and take de Tag Team Titles on Battleground!” Wildchild pauses to allow the crowd to react to his words.

 

“I hope Wildchild’s got himself a good lawyer,” says Riley, “because you can’t make allegations like that against an upstanding citizen like the Suicide King. King ought to sue him for slander!”

 

“Oh please,” scoffs Stevens. “Everything Wildchild said was true; King has been trying to get rid of him and his partner. He started out by suspending Johnny Dangerous, and then he sent Jay Dawg after Wildchild. When that didn’t work, he made a deal with his archenemy, Nielsen of the Jungle, to try to take Wildchild out, and now he’s sent the Magnificent Seven after him. King seems to have a personal vendetta against the kid.”

 

“De last thing I wanted to say,” continues Wildchild, “was dat I’m know what you’re up to, King, an’ I’m puttin’ you on notice: I’m gon’ take out your little Mag 7 lapdogs, an’ den I’m gon’ come after you, so you better…”

 

Wildchild is interrupted from completing his thought by the sound of Queen’s “Princes of the Universe” blaring through the speakers. In the ring, Wildchild drops the microphone and sets himself into a defensive stance, preparing himself for the possibility of having to fight off the entire Magnificent Seven. But, instead of the whole group coming out to confront Wildchild, only Ejiro Fasaki walks onto the platform, with a microphone in his left hand, and his tag team title belt around his waist.

 

“Poor little Wildchild,” he says. “Diddums we fall down and hurt our widdle head?” Ejiro pauses to allow the crowd enough time to boo properly. “I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish by calling out the Suicide King, other than signing your own death warrant, but you’re not worthy of a moment of his time. Tom wanted to come out here and stretch you out himself for your insolence, but I convinced him that you’re not worthy of his time either… Quite frankly, you’re not even worthy of my time, as I proved when we used to battle in the JL.”

 

“Yeah Ejiro,” cheers Riley. “Tell him how it is!”

 

Wildchild bends down to retrieve the microphone in order to respond to his old nemesis. “Ejiro, I know you think that all of de tings I do here in de ring have done some kinda damage to my brain, but my memory is still intact an’, if I remember correctly, de las’ time de two of us went one-on-one, I had you in de middle of de ring, tapping out like a little bitch!”

 

Ejiro’s eyes grow wide as the crowd explodes into a chorus of cheers. “Hey, that was back in the JL,” Riley growls. “That doesn’t count!”

 

“That’s funny,” replies Stevens, “because you certainly wanted to make it sound important when Ejiro said something about it!”

 

Riley turns to look at his broadcast partner and stammers out, “I… uh, that is… shut up!”

 

A thoroughly embarrassed and outraged Ejiro finally lifts the microphone back to his lips to issue a rebuttal. “First of all, that match was a fluke! You couldn’t do that again in a million years!” Ejiro pauses, flustered by a sudden and loud “bullshit” chant by the crowd. Finally able to continue, he says, “and second of all, that was back in the Junior Leagues, kid. I’ve gotten light-years better since then! And finally, while you’re busy worrying about the Suicide King, you better concentrate on Battleground, and the beating that you’re going to get from me and Judge Hearford!”

 

Wildchild looks up at the ramp towards his old enemy. “Well den, how ‘bout dis: why don’ you come on down here an’ show me what you’ve learned? Why wait until Battleground, when dere ain’t nothin’ between us but air an’ opportunity?”

 

Without a word, Ejiro makes his response by dropping his microphone and walking down towards the ring. “Dear God,” says Stevens, “Wildchild and Ejiro are about to get it on right here!”

 

In the ring, Wildchild drops his microphone and raises his fists, preparing to greet Ejiro as makes his way to the ring. As the Tag Team Champion makes it about halfway down the ramp however, someone slides into the ring behind Wildchild and surprises him with a double axe-handle to the back.

 

“It’s Fugue,” cries Stevens. “Fugue is attacking Wildchild from behind!”

 

“That’s what he gets for sneak attacking Janus last week,” crows Riley. “The Magnificent Seven sticks together!”

 

With a malicious grin, Ejiro walks backwards up the ramp as the crowd boos lustily. Inside the ring, Fugue whips Wildchild to the ropes and runs towards him as he rebounds, leaping into the air and knocking him to the mat with a running dropkick.

 

“Looks like we’ve got an impromptu match here,” says Stevens, “with Fugue and Wildchild going at it!”

 

Ejiro returns to the top of the ramp and retrieves his microphone from the stage. “Since you seem so desperate to get a little action this week, I’m sure Fugue can accommodate you. As for me, you’ll get all of me that you can handle on Sunday at Battleground.” Ejiro remains on the stage to watch Fugue’s handiwork as the Maestro pulls Wildchild to his feet and whips him back towards the ropes, but the Bahama Bomber reverses and leaps into the air as Fugue rebounds, planting his feet into the Maestro’s chest and flipping him through the air with his patented Freefall throw. Wildchild springs to his feet as Fugue goes tumbling into the ropes and stares back up the ramp at Ejiro. Without a word, he then charges towards the ropes and dives feet-first towards the bottom rope, grasping his hands on the bottom and middle ropes and using them for balance as he swings around, blasting Fugue in the face with the Chicklet Buster!

 

“It looks like the Mag 7’s plan just backfired,” crows Stevens as Wildchild drags Fugue back into the center of the ring. He pulls the Maestro to his feet and stands in front of him, locking their arms together. He then rotates his body underneath Fugue and stand up, leaving the musician dangling upside down off his shoulders.

 

Ejiro starts to creep back down the ramp but stops short when Wildchild turns back around to face him. The two engage in a brief staredown before Wildchild unleashes a feral howl and swings his legs out from underneath him, dropping to the mat on his posterior and driving Fugue’s head into the canvas with the Wild Ride! Springing to his feet immediately, Wildchild races to the ropes, pointing at Ejiro and screaming obscenities.

 

“Wildchild has declared war on the Magnificent Seven AND the Suicide King,” remarks Stevens.

 

“Wildchild just sealed his fate,” replies Riley. “Justice and Rule are going to put him and his partner on the shelf at Battleground, permanently!”

 

“What an exciting start to the night’s activity,” says Stevens. “We’re just getting started, so stick around, because we’ve got Beezel and Mike Van Siclen in tag team action against Michael Craven and Janus, coming up next!”

 

As we:

FADE OUT

[Guest Suicide King]

The bright, smiling face of Benjamin Hardy appears on screen with microphone at ready. He stands in front of a door, still looking like a total tool. Porr guy.

 

“Ben Hardy here, backstage at the locker room of Michael Craven, former US Champion and the self-proclaimed Hardcore God of the SWF!”

 

Pan out to a logo, clearly stating that this is Craven’s locker room. The same logo we’ve been able to see the whole time. Stupid Hardy. Hardy turns to knock... but suddenly, he stops, unsure if this is the right way to go about things. He knows he doesn’t want to anger Craven, because an angry Craven means he’ll end up in the hospital.

 

“You think I should just knock?” Hardy inquires of Gus. his loyal and trusy sidekick.

 

“Sure, dude! He’s probably not doing anything anyways! He won’t mind!”

 

Hardy shrugs his shoulders and quickly brings his hand to the door.

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

 

“Mr. Craven!”

 

...

 

Dead silence. No one comes to the door, there’s no door-muffled scream of “GO AWAY!”, and he hasn’t gotten his teeth kicked in yet. Hardy turns to Gus, who gives an off-shot shrug of the shoulders as Hardy contemplates the situation.

 

“Hmmm... must not have heard...” Hardy shrugs his shoulders and reaches out with his hand, tapping...

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

 

“Mr. Craven!”

 

...

 

Hardy’s second call goes without answer. Befuddled, he thinks the third time must be the charm... right?

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

 

“Mr. Cra-”

 

That’s when the door swings open, Craven standing in the doorway as the crowd begins to boo. Hardy screams in shock as he jumps back in terror, the 6’6”, 280-pound grappler startling him. Craven does not look at all pleased.

 

“...What.”

 

“I’m here for an interview, M-M-Mr. Craven...” Hardy stammers.

 

...

 

*sign* “Fine...” Hardy breathes a sigh of relief, but suddenly Craven grabs him by the collar, pulling him closer with a noticeable anger in his tone of voice. “...BUT NEVER INTERRUPT MY STUDIES AGAIN.” Hardy gulps and nods, indicating he fully understands. Craven releases him as Hardy backs off, brushing himself off while Craven sighs again. He obviously has more important things to do.

 

“Let’s keep this short, Hardy.”

 

“Right...” Hardy clears his throat and begins. “Now, Mr. Craven, on Lockdown, Mike Van Siclen took your US Title AND made you tap out? Any thoughts on the matter?”

 

Craven stares at Hardy for a second, then looks into the camera, then at Hardy.

 

“I have a plan for him in the works as we speak...”

 

Hardy begins to open his mouth.

 

“...and no, I’m not telling you anything, you blabbermouth.”

 

Hardy promptly shuts his mouth.

 

“And as for tonight, when I face him in that ring, with the Hell Machine at my side, I’m going to make him wish he’d just walked away from that ring and never beaten me. Now get the hell away before I give you a preview of what MVS will be getting when I kick his ass for the title at Battleground.”

 

“So what you’re saying is that this match with MVS is on like Donkey Kong, right?”

 

Hardy’s cute little comment is not appreciated at all by Craven. He’s more important concerns tonight, and so...

 

“SLAM!” Craven slams the door, probably getting ready prepare for the match ahead. Hardy turns to the camera, looking somewhat perplexed, and speaks into the microphone...

 

"Ummm... that was Ben Hardy with The Nightmare, Michael Craven. Sending it back to you Mark and Bobby!"

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Fresh off of a Wildchild promo the crowd is eager to see a match and Smarkdown plans to deliver! The camera does a quick pan of the crowd, not accomplishing much, and then zooms in on our announcers, “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens and Bobby Riley, sitting ringside.

 

“Welcome back to Smarkdown!” Stevens says enthusiastically. “We just saw Wildchild, and he looks focused on beating some people down upon his return!”

 

“If he wasn’t so tiny he might be able to,” notes Riley.

 

“Lighter doesn't mean weaker, Bobby," notes Stevens. "This match may just prove that as the US Champion and a giant Mag Seven-er named Janus take on two rather light opponents in Mike Van Siclen and Beezel."

 

"Physics is physics, Mark."

 

"Right, anyway, instead of some long, boring drivel we’re going to start this match right away. Take it, Funyon.”

 

All the lights in the arena swing over to the center, making it so that just a single spotlight shines down on Funyon. The announcer clears his throat, knowing full well that he has everyone’s attention as he begins to speak.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen! The following is a tag team contest scheduled for ONE fall! Tag ropes will be used in this matchup, and the five second rule is in effect!”

 

The crowd seems to be restless as the light begins to fade off of Funyon. “Introducing first…”

The arena now completely darkened, nothing can be seen except the SmarkTron, showing the image of a young man, with his hair recently dyed white. As the strains of Fear Factory's "Resurrection" echo through the arena, cracks slowly begin to weave through the image, and blue pyros start fountaining up on either side of the ramp. The voice of Burton C. Bell carries through the arena.

 

"Consumed with memories...

That preceded today...

Given a chance to bereave..

Life that's slipping AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!!"

 

As the heavy riffs roar out of the speakers, the crack-riddled image explodes into fragments, revealing the face of Janus as he is now, with a scowl on his face. His name flashes up in green text, and it proceeds to play clips of some of his more brutal spots - interspersed with flashes of his name and "Magnificent Seven", as the giant steps out onto the rampway, lit only by a spotlight as Funyon lifts up his microphone.

 

“He hails from Sydney, Australia! Weighing in at three-hundred and fifty pounds, the Hell Machine himself, JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANUS!”

 

Janus stalks down to the ring, each set of blue pyros going out as he walks past them. Flexing his muscles, he climbs up onto the ropes and looks around the darkened arena before climbing into the ring and thrusting his arms into the air....and with a loud explosion, a pillar of blue fire explodes from each turnbuckle simultaneously as the lights come back on, only to cut out once more, the crowds boos never ceasing as we hear…

 

“BOOM-BOOM BOOM... BOOM...”

 

Strobe lights pulse to the beat of the guitar in the background as Audioslave’s “Cochise” kicks in, smoke spewing from vents in front of the entrance as the drums cue in 24 seconds into the song. Golden waterfalls of pyro begin flowing from the top of the SmarkTron and the crowd’s booing starts intensifying. A huge pyro blast kicks up from the front of the stage at the guitar drop, about 50 seconds into the song, strobes still going. Suddenly, as Chris Cornell begins to sing, a spotlight shines down on Michael Craven, standing on stage. He stops turning to look at the fans, and quickly, he spins around twice, finishing by pointing to himself and flexing. He follows it up by walking down the ramp in a half-strut, as Funyon intros him.

 

“And his tag partner! Weighing in at two-hundred and eighty pounds, he hails from Tampa, Florida… the Nightmare himself, MIIIIIIIIIIICHAEL CRAAAAAAAVEN!”

 

He enters the ring by hopping over the top rope, landing on his feet. He walks over to Janus, slapping hands with the big man as they both get in position to storm whichever opponent comes out from the back first. All movement seems to cease for a few moments - until Funyon calmly raises the mic to his lips.

 

“And their opponents…”

 

TING! TING! TING! TING!

 

The four quick cymbals and even quicker guitar riff that begin “Damage Done” by Dark Tranquility blasts throughout the arena, as the lights go out and blue strobes begins to flash in time with the music. Mike Van Siclen steps onto the ramp, the United States title slung over his acid-green jacket, resting on his shoulder as he poses in a bent crucifix on the top of the stage! The crowd gives him a decent reaction as he cockily steps down the ramp, but instead of continuing with his shtick he pauses at the end of the ramp, pointing at Janus and Craven and trash-talking them a bit.

“Weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-seven pounds, he hails from Harrison, Illinois! The Spectacle himself, MIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE VA-AN SIIIIIIIIICLEN!”

 

The crowd pops for Van Siclen’s name as Rivers Cuomo’s voice blasts throughout the arena…

 

“I’LL BRING HOME THE TURKEY IF YOU BRING HOME THE BACON!”

 

BOOM!

 

A huge sheet of red pyrotechtonics blasts on the entrance stage, the crowd erupting in cheers as Beezel steps onto the ramp, singing along with the chorus, the Hardcore Gamers’ title strapped around his waist.

 

“I'm a lot like you, so please, hello... I'm here... I'm waaaaaiting.

I think I'd be good for you, and you would be good for me!”

 

The crowd pops even more as El Scorcho walks to the bottom of the ramp, casting a quick glance at Van Siclen. MVS looks back at Mr. B, and nods as the two slide into the ring, getting to their feet quickly and each picking a target - MVS going after Craven, and Beezel going after Janus! In the melee, referee Billy Chioda manages to signal for the bell.

 

.:Ding Ding Ding:.

 

As the bell rings Chioda dives into the middle of the madness, trying to separate the two teams into some sort of order. His prodding works, as Van Siclen backs away from Craven and Beezel backs away from Janus, both teams going back to their respective corners. Van Siclen and Beezel discuss for a few moments and then watch Janus and Craven - and Janus pushes Craven out of the way, motioning for whoever’s willing to come and get him. Van Siclen casts a glance at Beezel, motioning for El Scorcho to take on the big man. Mike steps out of the ring and Beezel steps in, hopping around a bit, eager to get the match underway.

 

“It looks like Beezel and Janus are going to be starting out this match, Bobby.”

 

“Van Siclen is a moron for allowing this to happen - doesn’t he realize that Janus owns Beezel?”

 

Janus looks to circle around, his style of a slow opener - but Beezel would much rather start the match early, as he bounces off of the ropes, coming off the rebound and leaping at Janus, forearm extended! Caught by surprise, Janus can do nothing but brace himself as El Scorcho’s flying forearm catches him right across the jaw, Mr. B’s two-hundred and five pounds taking Janus out. The crowd roars as Janus quickly gets to his feet, but he runs right into Beezel’s hand, which grabs Janus’ hand and whips him into the turnbuckle behind which Van Siclen has the tag rope firmly in his grasp!

 

The crowd roars as Beezel readies himself in the middle of the ring, doing a quick shuffle before charging at Janus, doing a handspring to a sizable pop, then following it up by hopping into the air, turning one hundred eighty degrees and planting an elbow right into Janus’ forehead! Van Siclen’s hand reaches out, and Beezel quickly tags the Spectacle in, stepping out of the ring and allowing Van Siclen to take over the offense.

 

“Scorcho and Siclen already working well together, as Beezel’s high-octane offence should serve as a nice balance for Van Siclen’s kick-‘em-til-they-die offensive philosophy.”

 

“Beezel just got lucky with the forearm and handspring, Mark. And then he makes the stupid move of tagging in Van Siclen - doesn’t he realize that at From the Fire Janus knocked Van Siclen out? Twice?”

 

The United States champion quickly goes to work, cupping Janus’ chin in his right hand as he reaches back with his left and unleashes a huge knife-edge chop against Janus’ bare chest! The crowd “WHOOOOOOO~!”s for this, and Van Siclen quickly follows it up, cupping Janus’ chin again and decimating him with another chop! The crowd again gives him a whoo, but instead of pursuing this method of offense he reaches over and tags Beezel back in, getting into an all fours position in front of Janus.

 

Beezel, seeing what Van Siclen is aiming for, quickly hops into the ring and over near Craven, doing the shuffle again before charging at Janus! As he hits Van Siclen he plants one foot in his back and pushes off, flipping over and wrapping his legs around Janus’ neck! Van Siclen quickly slides out of the ring, allowing Beezel room to arch his back, looking to flip Janus over with a huge Hurricanrana - but instead Janus grabs onto the ropes, preventing himself from falling victim to the Hurricanrana!

El Scorcho, were his face not covered, would surely look nervous as Janus reached down and placed both of his huge hands on Beezel’s back, lifting him up into powerbomb position! The crowd begins booing, and their boos intensify as Janus runs forward a couple of steps, then sits out with a huge powerbomb! He bridges through for the pin, and Chioda counts -

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“TH - TWO!” Beezel manages to roll backwards out of the pin, back into a standing position. As Janus quickly gets to his feet Beezel charges him, looking to catch him with a flying crossbody - but Janus catches him once again! Steadying himself, Janus falls backwards, throwing Beezel back with a huge fallaway slam!

 

“Beezel looks for the crossbody on Janus there, but he’s quickly shut down by the giant, who catches him with a huge fallaway slam!”

 

“That’s what Beezel gets for trying to be a goddamn mosquito,” Riley gloats.

 

Janus gets up, stalking over to Beezel and lifting the smaller man up as well. The Hell Machine grabs Beezel by the arm, shoving him into the ropes and then pulling back for even more oomph on the Irish whip. Beezel hits the other ropes like wildfire and comes bouncing back at Janus - who lifts him up high into the air, before slamming him straight back down to the mat with a high-angle spinebuster! No-nonsense, Janus bridges through for the cover.

 

“ONE!”

 

”TWO!”

 

“THR - TWO!” Beezel again manages to rolls out of the pinfall, only this time instead of rolling into a standing position he rolls back onto his stomach where he lay, trying to get his breath back. Janus nonchalantly walks over to Craven, tagging him in and then going over to Beezel, lifting him up and whipping him into the ropes as Craven steps into the ring. As Beezel comes back, Janus grabs him and lifts him up into press slam position! The crowd boos as Janus drops El Scorcho - and Michael applies a side headlock as Mr. B falls, falling back and adding a DDT to the press slam!

 

A “HO-LY SHIT!” chant starts as Janus grins, stepping out of the ring as Craven turns Beezel over, making the free-throw cover. Chioda counts -

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“THR - NO!” Van Siclen comes out of nowhere, dropping a double axehandle across Craven’s back! This allows Beezel to get the shoulder up, as Craven gets up, angrily stalking Van Siclen - who calmly goes back to his corner, stepping out of the ring. Craven, still hot, looks ready to strangle Van Siclen - but Chioda steps between the two, yelling at Michael to “go after the legal man!”

 

“Craven and Janus looked to have Beezel finished there, but Van Siclen managed to break up the pinfall!”

 

“I can’t stop loving that beautiful piece of teamwork Craven and Janus pulled out - a press slam DDT? Bobby sez GENIUS!”

 

Craven, still frustrated, turns back to Beezel, leveling a stiff kick at the unknown’s head. Beezel grabs his masked cranium at this, rolling over onto his stomach while still clutching his head. Craven, not really giving half a damn about Beezel’s pain, grabs him by the top of his mask and lifts him to his feet. Floating behind the high flier, Craven snakes his arms up through El Scorcho's and locks his hands behind the man's masked head. The Nightmare then hefts Beezel up in the air with ease and with a loud shriek, throws the smaller man face first into the canvas! Craven turns away from his foe and heads towards the corner of the ring. With force, Michael slaps hands with Janus, allowing the giant to enter the ring. Grasping the top rope with both hands, the Chimera begins to climb.

 

"The US champ is going up top, and it doesn't appear as if Beezel is going anywhere," notes Stevens, "But what is Janus' role in all this?"

 

"Come on Mark," says Riley with disdain, "With all the great teaming up these two have done, can't you work that bit of info out on your own? I'm smelling footstool action from this attack!"

 

Craven hops up to the top rope, twisting his body in mid-air to stand on top facing towards the ring. He motions to his partner to come closer to the turnbuckle. Janus complies, backing into the corner carefully as to not break the balance of his partner. Craven takes a careful step onto the giant's shoulders, and then takes off high into the air! The US champ crunches his body up on a ball before relaxing and allowing his body to straighten out for a frog splash... only to get two feet in the face as Beezel rolls himself up and shoots both boots straight up into the air! The Nightmare's head whips back as Craven drops painfully to the mat. The crowd explodes into cheers as Beezel turns over onto his stomach and begins the slow crawl to his corner to make the tag.

 

"What a kick by the Hardcore Gamers Champion!" exclaims Stevens, "And he's got very little left to go to make the tag to the fresher Mike Van Siclen!"

 

"Yes, but remember who the legal man is in the ring," notes Riley, "And I doubt Janus would allow a thorn in his side like El Barfo here to complete a tag!"

 

Beezel crawls a little further, and extends his hand but short from making the tag by inches. The high flier crawls a little futher but no more as Janus grabs hold of his foot and drags the smaller man back towards the center of the ring. The crowd deflates as Janus points and elbow and drops it straight into the lower back of Beezel. As the official helps Craven to his feet in an effort to get him out of the ring, the giant takes the opportunity to roll the high flier over and wrap a huge hand around his throat. As the pressure begins to close his throat his feet kick and flail, looking for any amount of leverage to help him escape the hold. Van Siclen slams his foot against the mat, yelling out support for his partner to encourage him. The crowd picks up on the beat of his foot and begins to clap, hoping their support can help in any way. Beezel claws and tears at Janus' hand but the giant shows no give. The Spectacle gives up on passive support and rushes into the ring, shoving a hard boot right into the giant's face! Janus breaks the hold only to get up to his feet and start in on Mike Van Siclen... only to get broken up by the referee who starts to shove the smaller man back towards his corner. Janus waves behind him and Craven rushes to his side as Siclen yells at the official to turn around to see the double team.

 

"Teamwork," says Riley, "Fundamental tag team strategy. It's apparent how well put together these two are and also apparent how easily they'll win!"

 

"If by teamwork you mean low down dirty cheating," rebuts Stevens, "Then I guess I can't argue."

 

"It's so nice when we agree!"

 

Both Craven and Janus kick as hard as they can to either side of the high flier's body, landing blows on his head, back and ribs. MVS continues to argue with the official as his partner gets beaten down in the center of the ring. Before the referee can turn around, Janus points back to their corner and motions for Craven to go back. The Nightmare follows the idea and takes his place back by the turnbuckle, taking the tag rope into his hand. Janus lifts the lighter man to his feet just as Siclen calms down enough to be forced back into his corner. The giant gives his opponent an Irish Whip towards the corner opposite the Spectacle. Beezel crumples to a heap in his opponent's corner as Janus raises a hand and tags his partner back in. The crowd rains boos down towards the ring as Craven points at the high flier and points up in the sky. Janus obliges his partner's request, locking El Scorcho as if to attempt a suplex, only to lift the tiny man up and seat him on the top rope. His work done, Janus steps back through the ropes and stands still, allowing Craven to climb up towards his opponent on steady ropes.

 

"Oh man," squeaks Riley, "This is going to be great! Will it be a superplex? Maybe the Nightmare will show 'Twit in a mask number thirty' how a high risk maneuver is REALLY done! The suspense is killing me!"

 

"Your horrendous insults are nauseating me," rebuts Stevens.

 

"Well, I'm rubber and you're glue, Mark!" yells Riley.

 

Mark Stevens becomes silent as he tries to contemplate the stupidity of his announce partner. Meanwhile, inside the ring the Nightmare tries to wrap his arms around Beezel's shoulders, but the Hardcore Gamer's Champion throws a punch to his midsection to halt him. Janus catches the counterblow and throws a hard punch towards the high flier's head, but Beezel leans out of the way and the giant's blow is absorbed by his partner's shoulder! The US champion gets knocked off balance and is forced to drop to the mat, turning and landing on his feet but clutching his arm. Janus' jaw drops in shock and the big man is caught unawares by the backfist of El Scorcho. Janus' head snaps back but the big man stays on the apron. However the delay is enough for Beezel to stand straight up on the second rope. Craven straightens up, his back towards the corner and completely unaware of his opponent's position. The crowd begins to cheer as Beezel grabs the surprised Nightmare by his short spiky hair and drags him backwards. Planting his right knee on the back of his opponent's neck, Beezel leaps off the second rope. Craven's body is forced to follow his head which is forced to follow El Scorcho's knee as it completes its path right to the center of the ring!

 

"WHAT???" yells Riley.

 

"EGO TRIP!" yells Stevens, "Beezel hits the US champion with the Ego Trip! What other surprises does the little guy have for us?"

 

"How DARE that twerp rip off the FINEST World Champion this league has ever seen?" steams Riley.

 

The Nightmare is reduced to a motionless heap in the ring as his partner can only watch Beezel roll through the Ego Trip and pop right onto his feet, tagging in his anxious partner! Siclen runs full speed towards Janus and lands a drop kick right to his chest, knocking the giant backwards and causing him to land backfirst on the ground and crash into the guard rail with his head! Getting to his feet, he looks down at the fallen Craven and looks towards the crowd, raising both fists into the air. Stepping over his foe, Siclen leans down and lifts his opponent's legs. He then crouches low and wraps his arms around the Nightmare's legs and up near his hips. Straining, the Spectacle lifts Craven as he straightens himself completly in a standing position.

 

"Siclen has Craven up for the Riot Act!" exclaims Stevens, "If he lands it this could be over!"

 

Mike Van Siclen leaps up into the air without delay and drops to his knees, landing the devastating Riot Act on the United States Champion! As Siclen rolls over and locks Craven up into a pin combination, Beezel steps through the ropes and dashes across the ring. The high flier leaps over the top rope and lands a high cross body on the recovering Janus, removing any threat of the Australian giant from breaking up the pin. The official drops to the mat to make a count....

 

ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!!!!

 

 

DING TING DING TING DING TING TING!

 

The sound of the ring bell mixes in with the sounding of cymbals as "Damage Done" by Dark Tranquility plays inside the arena.

 

"Your winners by pinfall," begins Funyon, "At twelve minutes and twenty nine seconds.... BEEZEL, and MIKE! VAN! SIIIIIIICLEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!"

 

The crowd gives a standing ovation to the winning team as Beezel rolls inside the ring to help raise his partner's hands in victory. MVS and Beezel slap hands and pump their fists into the air as they celebrate their victory.

 

"Riley, you have talked about teamwork the entire match but it was the quick thinking and even quicker reactions of Mike Van Siclen and Beezel that got them the victory tonight!" exclaims Stevens, trying to yell over the music blaring inside the arena.

 

"This was dumb luck," rebuts Riley, "Pure and simple. AND, might I add, this victory was helped by petty larceny! Beezel has NO RIGHT using a move popularized by our God on High, Tom Flesher!"

 

"The rights of moves are null and void if you consider the match was won with Mike Van Siclen's own Riot Act!" argues Stevens, "And they took the match completely fair, showing that once in a while teamwork doesn't involve being an ass."

 

"Whatever," says Riley, turning away from his announce partner in a huff.

 

"Regardless of what Bobby thinks," says Stevens, "We still have lots more action heading your way! So stay tuned for more S! W! F! SMARKDOWN!"

 

 

Beezel and Siclen walk up the ramp heading backstage, trying in vain to get a few fans to sing along to the Spectacle's theme music. Not knowing the words himself, El Scorcho turns back to his partner and pats him on the back as they head back to their dressing rooms.

 

 

And now, Frost Brand Chewing Tobacco. Gives you that cool feeling with natural arctic tobacco encased in natural arctic ice!

[Guest Suicide King]

The camera fades in on a close-up of SWF Commissioner the Suicide King rummaging distractedly through a stack of papers on his desk. The fans out in the arena give the King his customary pop upon sight of him. The camera then pulls back to reveal SWF World Champion Tom Flesher standing next to King’s desk with a wide grin plastered on his face, inciting the crowd to boo twice as loud. Flesher is still dressed in street clothes with his World Title slung across his shoulder like a sash. It appears that the two are in mid conversation but, by the look on his face, one can tell that King is only half listening.

 

“Did you see how I played those two chumps last week,” Flesher cackles. “Frost and TNT combined are hardly a challenge for me anymore. I might as well grapple with a Rubik’s cube.”

 

“That won’t boost pay-per-view buy rates,” King drolly states as he slams a stack of papers into his inbox.

 

Flesher’s face twists into a visage of confusion. “Hey, the Superior One is all you need to make Battleground a success.”

 

“Yes, I’m sure three hours of you doing card tricks will set the world afire,” King starts signing several pages and then slipping them into his outbox, never once looking at Tom.

 

“Hey,” Flesher barks a little gruffer and puts a hand on King’s shoulder. “I’m the World Champion, I deserve some respect.”

 

King gives Flesher’s hand a sideways glance. Tom picks up on the look and slowly releases his grip. King sighs. “I really don’t have the time to deal with you Tom. With my secretary being…” King struggles for a word “disposed of by Neilsen and that lunatic breathing down my neck, I don’t have a lot of spare time.”

 

“Hey, man, you invited me in here,” Flesher says and gives King a ‘what’s up’ shrug of his shoulders.

 

“Being that you are the champ,” King begins, now turning his attention to Flesher “I thought I’d give you a head’s up of what’s going down at Battleground. Since the match to find you a number one contender ended in a draw on Lockdown, I decided that the only fair thing to do, fair as far as bringing money in goes, was to book you in a triple threat for the SWF World Title at Battleground against both Frost and TNT.”

 

The audience can be heard going ballistic in the background, while Flesher goes wide eyed and jumps back, selling the news like a gunshot to the stomach.

 

“YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!?” Flesher screams. “I’ve already defeated both those losers. What I need is a fresh challenger like Xero or you could activate Sexton Hardcastle, or…”

 

King holds up his hand for Tom to pause and slumps down into his leather bound desk chair. “If you’ve beaten them once, you’ll be more than able to beat them again.”

 

“But together?” Tom pleads. “That’s almost like booking me in a handicap match?”

 

“And the Superior One can’t take out two ‘inferior’ opponents at the same time. I’m sure I can swing you a break once I finalize the booking somehow, but as it stands the triple threat is going down.”

 

The fans pop for the match as King goes back to his paperwork. Flesher spits and sputters, but can’t think of any way to keep his argument going. Tom finally storms out of the office, fuming.

 

“Be sure to close the door,” the Commissioner calls without looking up and a loud slam is heard as Flesher exits.

 

The scene cuts to find Flesher now out in the hall, muttering inaudibly under his breath. He stalks down the hall, almost missing the duo sitting on a pile of wooden slats off to the side, but the audience doesn’t as they scream loud for…

 

“WATCH ME EXPLODE!!!” TNT crows to shock Flesher out of his haze.

 

Frost smiles slyly and golf claps for the World Champion, “Nice refereeing job last week. I should have seen it coming from a mile away.”

 

“And you should have seen that leading to the triple threat at Battleground.” Thompson chimes in.

 

“Uh…how did you know about that? King just told me.” Flesher jabs a thumb into his chest.

 

“We were watching on a monitor, duh.” TNT says and rolls his eyes. The fans laugh and Flesher is even more steamed.

 

Frost reaches down to pull up a small monitor showing a live feed of the show to prove his point and sits it back down. “That’s always like you Flesher, you look for the most difficult route and never consider the simple, the logical. For each and every action, there is equal and opposite reaction. Basic physics. You screw two men out of one slot,” Frost holds up one finger, then a second as he continues, “it becomes two.”

 

“I hope you two don’t have a lover’s quarrel trying to get at me this coming Sunday,” Flesher sneers.

 

“We’ve talked it over,” Thompson says matter of factly “as long as you don’t walk out of Battleground as the World Champion, we’ll be happy. Hell, Frost and I just might do the ~FINGER POKE OF DOOM~ just to screw you.”

 

Frost looks at TNT and says deadpan, “No, we won’t.”

 

TNT gulps, “Uh…no we won’t.”

 

Flesher points at the pair and cuts loose. “You two asshats have your fun, because it will be anything but this Sunday. I’m at the end of the King’s Road and I’m not going back to the beginning to start over. This belt is mine and I’m holding onto it as long as I can, hook or by crook.”

 

“Trust us,” Frost chuckles “we know you wouldn’t have it any other way and knowing you is all we’re going to need.”

 

“You better go get dressed Tommy,” TNT offers “you have a match tonight.”

 

“Yeah, nothing you should worry about though, just some punk losers from what I hear.” Frost exams his cuticles absent-mindedly.

 

Flesher grunts and stalks off while the scene fades to black and the crowd buzzes with excitement.

[Guest Suicide King]

“And welcome back to Smarkdown for more incredible wrestling action!” shills our own ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens as we come back to yet another wrestling match! Grand Slam adjusts his baseball bat-themed tie as he looks down at his notes for the match and says, “This next match is certainly gonna be an interesting one. Johnny Dangerous, who has been lagging behind ever since he was bumped out of the JL is facing someone who has been pretty hot his whole WF career.”

 

“That’s right,” quips Riley, “He’s facing off against the Judge, a guy who was kicking ass old school-style in the Hardcore division while this guy was getting his ass kicked in curtain jerkers.”

 

“Even though Johnny’s been on a cold streak lately, this is just his place to pick up a big win. Only the last show the Judge submitted to a vicious tickle torture…” giggles Grand Slam, and Riley immediately goes on the defensive.

 

“It was bull crap! Hebner doesn’t know tap out from a... a…”

 

“You don’t have a comparison, do you?”

 

“IT ISN’T IMPORTANT! At any rate, the Judge is gonna come out of his corner a man possessed. He’s got a lot of anger to get rid of, and beating the stuffing out of this poser is just how he’s going to release it.”

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“The following match is scheduled for one fall!” yells Funyon as the discordant opening guitars of RATM’s “Sleep Now in the Fire” plays while “JUSTICE”, and soon after “RULE” flashes on the SmarkTron. The images switch as the drum beat sets in to those of double teams, rampant cheating, and cocky taunts, and a few of the fans begin to boo while Zach De LaRoche’s begins to scream…

 

POPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOP

 

… Triggering a volley of red machine gun pyros, and out come the Tag Team Champions, Justice and Rule! With their tag titles around their shoulders they step, Ejiro with a shit-faced grin, and the Judge with a stone-faced glare.

 

“Now entering the ring, weighing in at 242 pounds and hailing from Royal Oak, Michigan… ½ of the Tag Team CHAMPIONS… THE JUDGE, WILLIAM HEAAAAAARFOOOOOORD!”

 

The two split up as Ejiro heads towards the announcer’s table while Hearford steps into the ring and begins to stretch out.

 

“Bobbie… Tool…” says Ejiro as he greets the two announcers, picking up the spare headset.

 

“Well, I’m very glad you could grace us with your presence,” says Grand Slam sarcastically, and Ejiro responds.

 

“You’d better be. At least you’ll be getting some authentic wrestling analysis, unlike when that prep school drop out was here.”

 

“Oh, we weren’t getting before that either,” responds Mark, looking down at Bobbie, who plays with his pencil (not that one, you perverts), oblivious to the remark while the houselights go down…

 

“Johnny Dangerous!”

 

The sexy, seductive voice comes over the loud speaker, and the crowd wakes up, giving a good cheer as multi-colored lights begin circling the arena and “Mission Impossible II Theme” played by Limp Bizkit blares over the sound system! On the SmarkTron, Johnny skydives out of an airplane, driving in his super-slick car past thugs firing MP5s, and, of course, having drinks with a blond bombshell. With that, the Barracuda steps out to a throng of girlish shrieks and cheers while Funyon does his spiel.

 

“Now entering the ring, weighing in at 210 pounds and hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada… The SWF’s own Superstar Super-spy… JOHNNY DAAAAAAAAANGEROUS!”

 

Dangerous gives a smile and blows kisses at a few of the cuter girls on the ramp as he comes down in his suave stylish stride. He gives a wave to the fans before he steps up into the ring-

 

WHAM!

 

-and right into a powerful lariat from the Judge, flooring him!

 

“What an underhanded maneuver! Johnny wasn’t even ready!” proclaims Grand Slam as the bell rings and the Judge gives a few hard kicks to Johnny’s right knee to a mass of boos from the crowd.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“Maybe if he hadn’t been showboating so much he’d have seen it coming,” says Ejiro matter-of-factly, “The wannabe got what was coming to him.”

 

“A wave is not showboating.”

 

“Do you wanna tell that pissed-off prosecutor he’s wrong?” says Riley as Hearford goes to pull Johnny up by his collar but the young man smacks the Judge’s arm away and puts some distance between him and the angry old man.

 

‘Judge Mental’ gives a sneer at Johnny, who gives shakes his head and recovers his wits from the early assault. The old man advances on him cautiously, and Johnny begins to move as well, causing both men to circle each other, looking for an opening. Trying to get in, the Judge feints right and goes left for Johnny’s legs, but Dangerous lets loose a kick that sends Hearford to the mat, getting a huge pop from the crowd.

 

“The Judge is going to have to watch out for those kicks of Johnny’s,” notes Grand Slam as the old man quickly gets back up to his feet and gives another sneer in the direction of Dangerous, “Those kicks are good enough for a shoot fighter, and unless he wants to find himself playing Nagata to Johnny’s Filipovic he’d better find a safer way to get to those legs.”

 

“Bull crap,” remarks Ejiro flippantly, “Johnny’s style is way too strike heavy. Once you get past those strikes, he’s a goner.”

 

Again, the Judge gives a feint, but this time Johnny kicks too early, and Hearford seizes the opportunity. He catches the leg and spins to the ground, and Johnny quickly finds himself on his back as the old man tries to maneuver his way into a submission! Taking the leg Hearford immediately tries to flip Johnny over for a Half-Crab, but the Super Spy flails about like wild, trying to stop the submission before it starts. But it doesn’t work well enough, as ‘Judge Mental’ flips him over for the Half Crab!

 

“See? Told you so,” says a confident Ejiro as Johnny begins to crawl towards the ropes.

 

“Yes, but it’s a little early in the match to think that’s going to hurt him much,” says Grand Slam while Johnny is able to latch his hand around the bottom rope.

 

“But still,” interjects Bobbie, “You gotta admit that Johnny is a little shaken up after that. When someone comes out and counters your best weapon that early it gets into their minds.”

 

“Maybe some people, but not Johnny,” says Grand Slam as the ref forces Hearford to break up the count, “He’s got nerves of steel. You are gonna have to do a lot more to that to shake him up.”

 

As Grand Slam preaches, Johnny practices, giving a quick shake of his leg before giving a nonchalant smile as if nothing happened. The crowd loves it, Hearford hates it, and all it right with the World. But no sooner do his pearly whites grace the cameras as the Judge tries to crack them with a hard punch… that Johnny expertly blocks with his forearm! Using his extensive knowledge of dealing with brute thugs, he shoves it away and throws a few hard shotei into Hearford’s chest, pushing him back. He quickly seizes the moment, spinning around for his patented henchman-killing Uraken… but out of instinct the Judge’s hand catches it! Johnny gives a “That doesn’t normally happen…” face just before the angry old man pulls him in for a short arm lariat that puts him on the ground once again!

 

“Ouchies…” says a wincing Riley while the Judge drops an elbow onto Dangerous’s inner thigh and pulls his leg into a legbar.

 

“The Judge is going right for the money,” says Ejiro, “If you’ve ever seen a Dangerous match you know how much he relies on his legs. His moveset is almost exclusively based around the damn things. Take out that and he’s good as done.”

 

Trying to pull the leg out of its socket, the Judge viciously continues to torque it, causing Johnny to give a grunt of pain. Dangerous doesn’t stay still in the hold, though, and thinking fast he gives a swift kick to Hearford’s head with his other leg, and the old man lets go of the hold and rolls away. Johnny gets up with his normal quickness despite a slight twinge of pain from his leg, but he finds himself right on the receiving end of a hard knife-edged chop from Hearford!

 

WHOO!

 

CHOP!

 

WHOO!

 

CHOP!

 

WHOO!

 

CHOP!

 

WHOO!

 

With that final chop the Judge grabs the stunned Johnny’s arm and whips Dangerous right at the ropes. Hearford lines him up and nails the incoming Super-spy with a dropkick to the knee, sending him right to the ground! Dangerous gives a curse as he holds his knee in pain, and the Judge instantly goes to work. Moving over to Johnny he grabs him by the leg, narrowly dodging Johnny’s foot as he tries to get a free shot at Hearford’s head. He flips him over quickly, but rather than going for a submission he pulls the leg up and slams it into the canvas! Johnny gives a small cry of pain as the Judge does the maneuver twice, thrice, and a fourth time before he lets go, allowing Johnny to bring the crushed knee up into his arms for a moment.

 

“See, the thing that you have to love about Bill,” starts Ejiro, “Is that when he gets angry he doesn’t just start attacking everything in sight. No no no… he just becomes more and more focused, which means Johnny is in big trouble.”

 

“There are disadvantages to being too focused, Ejiro,” says Grand Slam with his sage-like wisdom.

 

“Like what? You can’t be too focused. It’s like being too smart. It’s just not possible.”

 

“Just watch…”

 

In the ring, Hearford steps over towards Johnny’s head and puts his boot right into his chest, holding it there and pressing down as hard as he can. He leans over, his face filled with controlled hatred and anger, and speaks.

 

“Do you remember the when you took my World Title from me?”

 

Johnny squirms and tries to lift the boot off, but Hearford picks it up and reasserts it right down on his chest again, halting resistance for a moment.

 

“You told me… Court is adjourned.”

 

He gives another hard stomp, this time to the head of Dangerous.

 

“No one…”

 

…Another stomp…

 

“…EVER…”

 

…And another…

 

“…Dismisses…”

 

…And another…

 

“…MY Court…”

 

And yet another…

 

“…Except ME.”

 

With that final shout, Hearford winds up and gives a field goal kick right into the struggling Johnny’s stomach, and Dangerous curls up in a ball as the crowd reprimands Hearford for his actions.

 

“What the hell was THAT about?” says a surprised Riley as Hearford pulls Johnny up by his suit collar.

 

“Oh, just something Bill has always held against that no-talent poser,” says Ejiro with a little grin, “It’s always nice to see some retribution in the form of a severe beating.”

 

“Just because he’s beaten you both more times than you can count is no reason to do something like that…” says Grand Slam.

 

“SHUT UP! I’ve beaten him…”

 

“Once.”

 

Ejiro shoots a sour look at Grand Slam while his partner continues his beating on Johnny. He folds up the bad leg and lifts Johnny into the air, holding him for a moment before bringing him right down on his knee with a Shinbreaker! The crowd gives a collective “Ooooooh…” as Johnny holds his knee in agony. But the Judge isn’t about to let up, grabbing the leg again and pulling him towards the center ring. He takes the bad leg and wraps it around his knee for a Figure Four-NO! Johnny pulls himself together, reaching up and grabbing the Judge’s head. He rolls backwards and presses him down to the mat for a surprise pin right out of the Ricky Steamboat playbook!

 

“INSIDE CRADLE!” yells Grand Slam to Bobbie’s and Ejiro’s dismay as the ref begins the count!

 

ONE!

 

 

TW-No! The Judge gives a strong kickout, deflating the crowd’s brief elation.

 

“A close pinfall, but even if it doesn’t finish the job it gives Johnny a chance to get away.” notes Grand Slam.

 

Indeed, Johnny is able to roll away from the angered Judge, getting up to his feet. Hearford looks over at Johnny, cracking his knuckles, and the Super-spy looks back un-phased. The old man moves closer towards him and dashes in for a lock-up, but Johnny is still able to react and nails a heart punch right on Hearford. The old man stumbles back, momentarily stunned by the move, and Johnny begins hitting the Judge with a flurry of chops right out of the movies! Firing them off in a few concentrated bursts, Dangerous limps forwards as he nails Hearford in his chest and head with his wide range of chops and karate punches. A final power chop sends the Judge reeling, and the crowd cheers as Johnny lines up a Johnny Kick…

 

 

 

… But the old man’s ring instincts show through as he moves his head to dodge the kick! He quickly brings his arms up to hold onto the leg and sweeps his foot under Johnny’s supporting leg, bringing him down with a single leg takedown. From there he twists the Super-spy’s leg around his own and falls backwards for a Figure Four Leglock!

 

“Ha! He finally got it on him!” says Ejiro, and Grand Slam shakes his head at the grim situation.

 

“This certainly doesn’t bode well for Johnny now…”

 

“How the hell did this jobber and Mildchild get a Tag Title shot?” says Riley, and Grand Slam is quick to correct him.

 

“Because they’ve been a great tag team for a while now-“

 

“With only one tag victory.” points out Ejiro, and Grand Slam looks down at him.

 

“You still only have one COMBINED singles victory against Johnny Dangerous.”

 

“SHUT UP!”

 

While the two argue, in the ring ‘Judge Mental’ tortures Johnny Dangerous in the deadly submission hold. The ref bends down and asks Johnny if he wants to give up which he defiantly shakes his head, gritting his teeth too much to say “No”. Just as Johnny took a page from “The Dragon” the Judge takes a page from “The Man”, pulling himself up with the nearby ring ropes to increase the pressure on the hold! The crowd boos violently and yells for the ref to look, but before he can turn around Hearford lets go and puts himself back on the back, trying to look as innocent as possible.

 

“Using the ropes for leverage, classic stuff!” giggles Riley as the ref turns away from Hearford and allows him to go right back to cheating.

 

“I have to ask, Ejiro,” says Grand Slam, “If you are so ‘good’, why do you always have to cheat to win a match?”

 

“Cheating? It’s only cheating if the ref sees it,” points out Ejiro, but he goes on, “And why not? If it’s fun, go and do it, and it’s damn fun to break the rules.”

 

The clueless ref continues to shift slowly back and forth between Hearford and Johnny, giving the Judge ample time switch back and forth from the mat to the ropes. He continues his little spiel, but slowly a chant begins to arise:

 

“Let’s go Johnny, let’s go! CLAPCLAPCLAP!”

 

“Let’s go Johnny, let’s go! CLAPCLAPCLAP!”

 

“Let’s go Johnny, let’s go! CLAPCLAPCLAP!”

 

The crowd begins to try and rally Dangerous, and the superface begins to find his second wind, trying to flip himself over. The Judge tries to stop him, using the ropes for leverage to stop him. But the ref begins to look back, and Hearford is forced back to the mat, trying to stop Johnny’s comeback!

 

“No! How in God’s name is he just ignoring that Figure Four?!” cries Riley as Johnny continues to try and flip the hold over, and Grand Slam gives him the obvious answer.

 

“It’s all adrenaline, Bobbie. You get that crowd behind you, hundreds of people chanting your name, and your blood just starts pumping so that you can do anything.”

 

“So what?” says Ejiro, “He’s still lost his legs, so what’s he gonna attack with? Nothing! He’s STILL screwed!”

 

The chants get louder, and Johnny begins to push off harder, trying to flip the hold over. The Judge, showing a little desperation for the first time in the match, braces his arms against the mat in attempt to block it. But Johnny won’t be denied, and with a mighty “Omphf!” he puts both of them on their belly! The crowd swells to a cheer as Hearford releases the hold, obviously a little frustrated with Dangerous’ continued resistance.

 

Johnny slowly and shakily reaches his feet, but is instantly hit with a hard punch to the jaw from a disgruntled Judge. Hearford threads his arm under the armpit of Dangerous, and prepares for his deadly STO variant… but Johnny brings his arm down, pushing away Justice’s hand and wrapping his arm around his head. Before Hearford even knows what’s going on he’s drilled right into the mat with a massive DDT, and the crowd explodes into a massive cheer!

 

“And Johnny is surging back forth!” yells Grand Slam over the crowd as Ejiro and Riley look on with disbelief.

 

“Where is he getting this strength! The Judge has been dominating him for the whole match!” wails Riley as Johnny begins to get back up to his feet while Hearford is left on the ground clutching his cracked cranium.

 

“It’s what happens when you are too focused,” says Grand Slam as he smiles knowingly at Ejiro, “Hearford attacked Johnny’s leg hard, but the rest of Johnny is still fresh. So as long as Johnny can somehow keep off that leg he’s got a whole ‘nother chance at this match.”

 

Hearford gets up holding his head, and rushes at Johnny, diving at Dangerous’ bad right leg in an effort to stop his comeback. Johnny, though, slickly pivots on his left foot, spinning around and causing the Judge to land on the canvas next to him. Hearford doesn’t have time to react as Johnny quickly drops an elbow right into the small of back, getting an “Aaah!” from the Judge. Johnny doesn’t hesitate, though, using the chance to take one of Hearford’s legs to a big reaction from the crowd…

 

“THE BARRACUDA!” shouts Grand Slam as Johnny puts the Judge into his patented Over the Shoulder Half Crab!

 

“Who does he think he is?! He isn’t going to get a submission out of the Judge with that sorry looking thing…” says Ejiro with a touch of worry in his voice.

 

Hearford squints his eyes and breathes heavy as he tries to control the massive pain in his leg, and tries to make his way towards the ropes. But the nature of the hold makes it incredibly difficult to move anywhere, and the Judge is soon looking for another way out. He begins to kick around with his free leg, trying to find his mark… and does, nailing Johnny’s bad leg right in the knee! Dangerous gives a grunt of pain, but refuses to release the hold, and Hearford kicks again, yielding another grunt but Johnny still won’t let go. The Judge, gritting his teeth in frustration and anger, gives him another powerful kick, and this time the jolt is enough to nearly take Johnny’s knee out. The Super-spy lets go of the hold and staggers towards the ropes, allowing ‘Judge Mental’ a chance to stand back up. He shakes his leg once trying to get the soreness out and looks over at Johnny with a stare that reeks of hatred and aggravation. Johnny, a man who has never lost his cool whether in World-saving missions or in the squared circle, manages to shoot back a confident grin that makes a few of the girls in the crowd shriek with teenage joy. He stands up straight and calls across the ring to Hearford.

 

“If this is your Courtroom…”

 

 

 

 

“… Why can’t you dismiss my case?”

 

At the cocky little remark the Judge clenches up a fist, but that’s it. He doesn’t make the same mistake as last time, and he slowly approaches in his normal grappler stances, playing the mongoose to Johnny’s cobra… or maybe the cobra to Johnny’s mongoose. Once again, he ducks in, dodging a shotei from Dangerous to pull up his bad leg. He goes to sweep out the foot, but instead Johnny does it for him, bringing it up and nailing Justice right in the back of his head! The old man collapses like a sack of bricks, and Johnny quickly shifts himself on the ground to make a cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

T-No! The Judge gives another kickout, but the crowd remains pumped as Johnny keeps control on the match.

 

The Barracuda lifts himself off the ground quickly, trying to beat the Judge up, but instead of standing the old veteran executes a two legged takedown right off the mat. Both of them tumble to the canvas, and Hearford quickly begins to shift around, scissoring the bad leg for a Cross Kneebar… but Johnny is able to scissor one of the Judge’s legs, putting them at a standstill on the mat.

 

“Quick thinking there by Dangerous to block that Crucifix Kneebar,” says Grand Slam, “He may not be able to beat him on the mat, but as long as he stays one step ahead of his mind he’s still got a chance.”

 

The two remain leglocked together as Johnny slowly tries scooting towards the ropes, knowing inevitably that he can’t hold the Judge’s strength off for long. Indeed, the old veteran works hard at prying Dangerous’ feet apart, and he finally succeeds. The crowd gives a gasp as Johnny yells out in pain as his leg feels like an open nerve. The never-say-die spy squirms and scrabbles to make it towards the ropes, the pain near unbearable levels…

 

 

 

 

 

… And makes it! The ref forces the Judge to break the hold as the crowd goes absolutely wild!

 

“Damn it!” curses Ejiro, “He had him! This match should be OVER!”

 

“Even I’m amazed right now at the refusal of Johnny to go down…” notes Grand Slam as Johnny pulls himself upright with the assistance of the ropes while the Judge rolls up to his feet and approaches.

 

Johnny gets ready to pull his leg away from the Judge, but this time Hearford doesn’t go for the leg. He gives Johnny a punch right to the stomach, doubling him over for a massive club to the back of the head. The stunned Johnny catches himself on his hands, but the pissed off Hearford isn’t about to stop; no more game plan, no more screwing around, just put Johnny down for the count ANY WAY possible. He pulls Johnny up by his dress shirt suspenders and shoves him at the ropes. He comes on the way back, and the Judge scoops him up and plants him into the ground with a massive Power Slam!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

T-No! Johnny thrusts a shoulder up into the air, and the fans breathe a sigh of relief.

 

The relief doesn’t last long, though, as the Judge angrily yanks Johnny up again and gets him in a collar and elbow tie-up. Hearford shoots a knee into Dangerous’ gut, and maneuvers around him while holding his arms, putting Johnny into a straitjacket hold. With one mighty roar and motion the Judge pulls the spy over the top and lands him down, bridging for a pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THRE-NO! Johnny still kicks out!

 

“The Judge is really turning it up!” says Riley as the Judge picks Johnny up again and whips him at the ropes.

 

“See? I told you he had this two-bit jobber in the bag.” say Ejiro confidently.

 

“I dunno,” responds Mark, “The Judge is never like this, and I think he just caught him off guard with that brutal attack just now.”

 

Johnny comes back off the whip, and the Judge lines up a massive clothesline… that sails right over Dangerous’ head! He turns around-

 

 

 

WHACK!

 

 

 

-And takes a LEFT FOOTED Johnny Kick right to the face! Johnny falls over for a second, not able to balance well on his bad leg, and the Judge falls down like he was shot. The crowd cheers, and Ejiro sits up from his seat.

 

“Christ…” he mumbles as he quickly pulls off the head set and begins to run over towards the ring. On the inside, Johnny shakily makes it to his feet. He begins running, ignoring the pain in his leg, and leaps up toward the ropes… but Ejiro pulls them down, and Johnny split legs on the middle rope for his efforts. The ref comes over and begins yelling at Ejiro to stay out, and Fasaki smiles while holding his hands up, saying “Okay, okay…”

 

“Damn it, Johnny had it won!” says Grand Slam as the angry crowd voices their displeasure.

 

Ejiro watches as Johnny slowly begins to get up, followed by the Judge. The two meet in the middle of the ring, and Dangerous throws out a desperation punch… that misses it’s mark. Johnny staggers forwards, allowing the Judge to catch him in a ¾ headlock! In an instant the Judge floors himself and they hit the mat, with Johnny going limp on impact. Ejiro gives a cheer while the rest of the arena boos, and the Judge makes the cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

T

H

R

E

E

E

E

E

EEEEEEEEEEE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“The winner of this match…. ‘THE JUDGE’ WILLIAM HEARFORD!”

 

The crowd boos like mad and Ejiro approaches the ring, not noticing the figure stepping out of the crowd behind him….

 

 

WHACK!

 

 

“Wildchild!”

 

The arena goes into uproar as Wildchild throttles Ejiro from behind with a Forearm shot! Ejiro stumbles away, briefly stunned by the attack from behind, giving Wildchild a chance to get into the ring. The Judge slowly rises to met the threat, and he throws a wild lariat that the Bahamian easily ducks. He bounces off the other side and nails a leg lariat on the Judge, putting him down on the canvas. Ejiro rolls in to help out, and he blocks a forearm shot to deliver an elbow right into WC’s nose! The Judge begins to rise again as Ejiro delivers a few more elbow shots to Wildchild’s head, and seeing the opportunity, Ejiro whips Wildchild at the ropes! The Bahamian comes bouncing off into Ejiro, who tosses him up into the air for the Judge to bring back down with a big DDT!

 

“Gavel Bang! Gavel Bang!” says an overjoyed Riley as Rule helps up a tired Justice and acts a crutch for him to exit the ring.

 

“Well, this certainly shows that Justice and Rule are still the team to beat at the PPV.” says Grand Slam as he goes off to shill the rest of the show.

 

In the ring, the camera focuses on Johnny, who pushes himself off the ground. He watches the Tag Team Champs walking up the ramp, and thinks for a moment. They beat me here, and they just took out my tag partner. We are definitely going in as underdogs to the PPV.

 

Johnny somehow chuckles at the situation.

 

Just like old times.

[Guest Suicide King]

“Awnaw Hell Naw Boy… y’all done up and done it…”

 

“We’re back folks,” Bobby Riley shouts above the cheering. “I’m here with my partner Grand Slam Mark Stevens…”

 

“Please don’t call me your ‘partner.’”

 

“Oh lord, not those stupid jokes again.”

 

“Relax, Bobby,” Grand Slam says, shrugging, “I’m just kidding with you. And here come the SWF’s professional kidders…”

 

The lights go almost as crazy as the people in the Warehouse Arena while the Nappy Roots blare throughout the arena. The two newest and most inexperienced superstars in the SWF make their way through the sea of people and to the ring, where they hop the barrier and ham it up with those who paid the most for their seats (or lack thereof, nobody ever sits down in the front rows anyway). Finally, the twins slide into the ring and climb opposite turn buckles, throwing up their “gang sign” of crossed fingers before coming back down and hyping each other up.

 

“You da MAN!” says Kris.

 

“No no no… YOU da man!” says Kross.

 

ROOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

 

Immediately the reaction multiplies. The camera follows Neilsen until he emerges into the Arena, pelted with the praise of a gajillion cheering fans. Kris and Kross take one look at the asskicking scowl on the Jungle King’s face, and gulp.

 

“HE’S da man…”

 

“Man, Neilsen sure does have an aura about him.”

 

“Yeah, an aura of pissed offedness.” Riley agrees.

 

NotJ tosses his trusty chair aside, slides into the ring and looks at the two slackers with a bit of sadism on his face. The look brings another pop to the crowd, and puts the fear of god into the twin brothers, who back away slowly as Neilsen rolls his shoulders in preparation. Suddenly, the SmarkTron is illuminated, and the referee is forced to stop the motion to call for the start of the match. The spectators quickly switch to boos as the Suicide King’s face shows up on the Tron.

 

“What the hell?” Grand Slam queries. “King’s interrupting the matchup.”

 

“The match hasn’t started yet, Mark. And whatever announcement the King has is one we probably should listen to. He’s only the top dog in this federation.”

 

“Dog is definitely the word I would use, Riley.”

 

“Well… well… well…” King blathers. Neilsen is already looking up at the screen while Kris and Kross look at each other, a bit confused.

 

“Neilsen of the Jungle, in the ring with my two proteges. Good job guys, our little plan worked perfectly. While Neilsen’s getting ready to make you guys ‘f*cking fear him,’ I’m back here having the time of my life. Why… just ask Michelle.”

 

Neilsen gasps as the King of Hearts pulls Michele into the frame. Michelle won’t look at the camera, her eyes a bit doey, but King is all smiles.

 

“Just look at you out there Neilsen. It’s amazing to me how you forget about what’s really important whenever it comes to kicking ass, anybody’s ass. Even two brothers who haven’t done anything to deserve one of your patented beatdowns. You’ve made your choice, and I’ve made mine… I’d even say Michelle has made hers…”

 

Michelle immediately tries to speak up, but the camera cuts to static. Leaving the Jungle king to stare at the screen for a split second before sliding out and bolting up the ramp to the backstage area. The crowd is cheering for the Jungle King. And inside the ring, Kris and Kross don’t really know what to make of all of this.

 

“Uhhh… brah,” says Kross.

 

“Yeah dude?” his brother answers.

 

“He just ran from us.”

 

“He SO ran from us!” Kris exclaims, getting more excited by the second.

 

“I think he fears us!”

 

“We are SO fearsome!”

 

“Neilsen is running to take care of business, and it looks like Déjà Vu think he’s running from them,” Grand Slam says. Riley shakes his head, mouths “As If,” and then turns back to the action.

 

“We ROCK!” they shout together, before dancing around the ring and holding up their hands to the laughing public. After some more “You da man” type stuff, they turn to the announce table, looking at the commentators.

 

“We SO rule, don’t we Riley?” Kris asks.

 

“I plead the fifth,” Riley says gingerly, prompting Grand Slam to laugh a bit, then to change his expression.

 

“What the hell…” he begins, but the twins continue to celebrate.

 

“We rock!”

 

“We SO rock!”

 

“Kris, Kross!” Grand Slam warns, but they don’t seem to heed him. Nor do they heed the resounding boos of the crowd.

 

“Dude, we should pose again.”

 

“We should SO pose again!”

 

“Guys! Guys!” Stevens shouts, trying again to warn them of impending danger.

 

“Brah, why is everyone booing.”

 

“They can’t be booing us… because we are SO party!”

 

“Maybe they just aren’t as party as we are…”

 

“DUDES!” Grand Slam finally shouts!

 

“Well,” Riley chimes in, as the twins turn to Mark, “that got their attention.” But Mark Stevens points.

 

“Behind you!”

 

Too late! Both Kris and Kross are bowled over by two wrestlers from the back, who begin stomping them!

 

“Justice and Rule are here!” Riley shouts! The entire audience, having seen them approach from the ramp, begins screaming bloody murder as the invaders, and tag team champions, raise up the two unsuspecting twins and begin laying into them on the mat! Judge Hearford puts Kross into a Boston Crab on the mat, while Fasaki locks up the arm of Kris!

 

The boos of the masses suddenly erupt into cheers as Justice and Rule face the announce tables, not knowing what to make of the change in crowd reaction. But suddenly, they find themselves knocked off of their poor victims, and stomped out of the ring under the ropes!

 

“Wildchild and Johnny are here!” Grand Slam exclaims. “Wild and Dangerous are back in business!”

 

Justice and Rule stand on the outside while Johnny Dangerous and his recently returned partner point assertively in their direction. The twins begin to stand up too, and hobble over to the side ropes to do some trash talking and finger pointing of their own.

 

“Look at them all,” says Riley. “They’re scared of the Tag Champs, standing right there in the ring, but not willing to go out and face them.”

 

“It won’t be like this at the Pay Per View, Riley. These three teams are gonna meet together come Sunday, but this time, it will be with Tables, Ladders, and Chairs!”

 

The champs back up the ramp, scowling at the two teams in the ring, while the SmarkTron cuts to an image deeper in the arena. Michelle is sitting in a chair, bound and gagged. When Neilsen steps into the frame, everyone works up, and watches as he rushes over to her. She lets out some muffled screams, and the Jungle King walks over to release her gag.

 

“Michelle,” Neilsen says, not sure what to make of her condition and of King’s words, but she interrupts him.

 

“NEILSEN!” she shouts, just before a dull thud sounds, and the Jungle King slumps over into her lap! “NOOOO!!” she screams, as the camera pans up to reveal the King of Hearts standing behind NotJ with a lead pipe in his hand.

 

“Whoops, funny how that happens,” the King says, shrugs, and pulls Neilsen down to the ground. The crowd boos as he stands over Neilsen. “You’ve messed with me for the last time. The man from the Jungle should know more than anyone that when you gamble against the Suicide King, you always LOSE!” King delivers a sharp KICK to the ribs of Neilsen, which sparks a reaction. Neilsen tries to rise and retaliate, but the sharp blow to the back of his head makes that all but impossible! King looks at Neilsen like a man possessed as Michelle screams. But then he walks over to her ropes and unties them.

 

Michelle is already receding from the Suicide King, but he holds up his hands.

 

“Whoa whoa,” King says reassuringly, “Sweetheart, it’s me. You know I would never hurt a woman, especially not you. He grasps her hand, allowing her to warm up. He then kisses the back of her hand gently and smiles. “Even when I’m mad, I’m still a gentleman.”

 

The crowd boos as he stands Michelle up and puts his arm around her. Too shocked to deny his advances, Michelle looks at the grounded Neilsen over her shoulder as King leads her away, he suddenly stops, and looks at Michelle, a bit of a frown on his face. Michelle’s tears come down, and he brushes one away.

 

“But you know what… I’m not even mad right now. Not even after you tried to warn him. Not even after everything that’s happened. No. Michelle, I’m not mad at you.”

 

She sobs once and looks down at the ground as King smiles at her.

 

“I’m pissed off.”

 

“Oh no!” Grand Slam shouts, as the crowd suddenly boos.

 

WHAMMM!!!!

 

“Holy SH*T!” Riley exclaims.

 

“Oh my… oh my god… that… that was the Joker’s Wild on Michelle. I can’t believe this, get somebody out there, now!”

 

The King of Hears looks around at the destruction as Neilsen still tries to get up and go after him, but he can’t. The King scowls at the two on the ground, as the crowd pleads for his blood.

 

“Why, dammit? What has gotten into Brian, and when will it all come to an end?

 

The final image of an angry King is shown, and the show cuts to commercial.

[Guest Suicide King]

Backstage, a TV monitor is alive with footage. It's displaying the final moments of a classic SJL match ...

 

Tod deKindes VS Taylor Nicholas Thompson

2/3 Falls, Three Stages Of Hell

 

***TNT collects himself to his feet, looks at Tod, and then at the crowd and gives them the universal "That is IT!!" gesture.***

 

Edwin: Taylor Thompson looks just about ready to finish off Tod deKindes!!

 

King: Atta boy, Thomp!! Finish his ass off for good!!

 

***He points to the turnbuckles, clamps both hands together and moves them back and forth up and down; the universal symbol for the tombstone piledriver.***

 

Axis: TNT looks to polish off Tod with that dreaded top rope tombstone piledriver!!

 

***As TNT drags him up to his feet, Tod somehow appropriates himself a trashcan lid. As Taylor stands on the second rope, sitting on the third, he scoops up Tod on his shoulder, but it's easier said than done. ***

 

Edwin: There's still some life in Tod deKindes!

 

***Somehow Tod's feet land on the top rope, providing him foot support as he frees himself from TNT's massive grip and plants the lid on his head with a resounding WHACK!! Another WHACK sends Taylor to La La Land for good, as Tod tosses the lid away. Both men grab onto each other to make sure nobody falls, but TNT manages to turn around and grab Tod in an attempt at a superplex. ***

 

Axis: Both men are on the second and top rope respectively, here!

 

***Tod once again frees himself with quick repeated headbutts to TNT's face. In an amazing display of strength, Tod manages to scoop up Thompson on his shoulder and jumps off from his perch…***

 

Axis: OH MY GOD!!! SPIRIT BREAKER FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! THIS *HAS* TO BE IT!!!

 

***But nobody's moving. Hebner fires up his mandatory 10 count for the first time in this match. Just as he barely reaches the count of nine, Tod rolls over, dropping a shoulder on Thompson.***

 

*One!*

 

.

 

.

 

.

*Two!*

 

.

 

.

 

.

*Three…-

 

King: NOOO!!!!

 

Edwin: It's almost a damn miracle!!!

 

King: TNT is the superior of the two, gentlemen!! There you have it!! Tod deKindes put him away with his finishing maneuver; from the TOP ROPE, even; and TNT *STILL* kicked out at two!!

 

***It takes a while, but both men are back to their feet, Tod the slightly fresher of the two. TNT is a quivering mass on his knees, barely distinguishing reality from fantasy. Tod's had enough. He flips his hair back, springs into action, and pumphandles Taylor back on his shoulder.***

 

Axis: There's a SECOND Spirit Breaker!!

 

*One!*

.

 

.

 

.

*Two!*

 

.

 

.

 

.

*Three!!*

 

***Bell rings, as the crowd erupts. Tod's victorious theme song blasts from the speaker, as Funyon bellows out the announcement.***

 

Funyon: The winner of this match…TOD - DEEEE - KIIINNNN - DEEEESSSS!!!

 

***Tod is on his back, catching his much earned breath as Mark Hebner raises his hand in victory.***

 

Axis: A much deserved win for Tod deKindes here tonight!!

 

Edwin: He's finally gotten that elusive pinfall on TNT!!

 

---

 

Pan over to the right, where Tod deKindes stands watching the monitor thoughtfully, as his face melts into a smirk while admiring his victorious likeness on the screen.

 

"Tod ... "

 

He looks over to his right, seeing interviewer Kevin Cole eye to eye with him. He appears calm, yet serious.

 

Cole: I've covered you more than anyone else in this company. I know you and how you act like the back of my hand. But lately, I just don't know. You've been trying to get into TNT's head ever since you came back and now I wanna know why. What are you trying to accomplish?

 

Tod: ... What am I trying to accomplish? ... You know me like the back of your hand?! You're insulting my intelligence, Kev. I got you this job, for cryin' out loud!! What am I trying to accomplish? ... (easing into another smirk) Heh ... You'll see.

 

He pressed a button on the remote control that turned off the TV and handed it to the interviewer, before walking away ...

 

Fade.

[Guest Suicide King]

The camera fades in from break, already focused on the commentators’ table.

 

“Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown, coming live from the sold out TD Waterhouse Arena in Orlando, Florida!” Mark Stevens enthusiastically hypes.

 

“Also known as Mickey Mouse’s backyard and the city that didn’t think Shaquille O’Neal was good enough to keep around.” Bobby Riley sneers.

 

Stevens states in deadpan, “Sorrowfully we won’t have any more time for Bobby’s brilliant witticisms as we’ll need every scrap of television time left for what promises to be a chaotic main event, a six man tornado tag match.” Stevens brightens as he profiles the combatants. “On one side, three founding members of the Magnificent 7 who have left the stable due to the megalomaniacal leadership of SWF World Heavyweight Champion, Tom Flesher.”

 

“They didn’t leave, they were kicked out.” Riley doggedly insists. “It was a good idea for a stable when Chris Wilson created it, but Flesher has made it a great stable in practice. One part of that being to weed out all the dead wood.”

 

“I would hardly call a former World, ICTV and US Champion as deadwood,” Stevens defends the trio of recently turned faces.

 

“To a stable that presently has the World and Tag Champions, I’d say so,” Riley smarmily insists. “And to top it all off, Tom Flesher and Ejiro Fasaki are partnered with ICTV Champion Jay Dawg. Like the team with all the gold isn’t going to win?”

 

Stevens allows the rhetorical question to hang in the air. “One can’t forget that JD won that belt against Danny Williams after Frost vacated it, nor that Jay Dawg was one of the few men to hand Frost not one, but TWO losses in order to retain his prized Hardcore Title last summer. The history between all six men tonight is long, winding and not pretty.”

 

Stevens is cut off by the sounds of In Flames’ “Jester’s Dance” and a thick mixture of cheers and jeers. Danny William pushes his way through the backstage curtain and marches headlong down the aisle, soaking in the crowd noise but not acknowledging it. He reaches the foot of the entrance ramp and pauses.

 

“Introducing first,” Funyon booms out from the ring, “from Louisville, Kentucky and weighing in at 238 pounds…DANNY…

WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMSSS!”

 

Riley: “And that history is just as nasty within team Douchetard as well. Danny Williams had a heated feud with TNT in the SJL and retained the JL World Title against Frost in their last match there. It wouldn’t surprise me to see this team self destruct before the opening bell.”

 

The music quickly changes to “TNT” by AC/DC. The crowd yells along with the opening “OY OY OY!” Taylor Nicholas Thompson trots out with fire in his eyes. He stops halfway down the ramp and holds both his hands over his head in a Diamond Cutter like gesture. Bon Scott’s voice shrieks out “WATCH ME EXPLODE!!!” and Thompson rips his hands down with a thundering “KABOOM!!!” to pop the crowd louder.

 

“His partner, from Anaheim, California and weighing in at 266 pounds, Taylor Nicholas Thompson, better known as T…N…TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!” Funyon thunders.

 

Taylor keeps his spot on the ramp and sweeps his arms toward the curtain. On cue, a blue spotlight shines on the entranceway and faux snow flutters from above. Silverish pyro explode from the rafters and the opening licks of “Snowblind” by Black Sabbath are heard as the fireworks’ roar fades.

 

“Finally, their partner, from Reykjavik, Iceland and tipping the scales at 296 pounds. He is the Velvet Hammer, FRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSST!” Funyon sweeps his arm toward the curtain and the Icelandic Iceman strolls out with one fist in the air and a cigar in his lips.

 

Stevens: “Frost and TNT squared off last week in a match that was supposed to have implications for the number one contendership to the SWF World Title, but the officiating of special referee Tom Flesher saw that the encounter ended in a double disqualification.”

 

Riley: “Those punks beat Flesher up, you can’t handle an official like that, not even Sexton Hardcastle.”

 

The three men stand tiered along the ramp for a moment before Frost stalks toward the ring and his partners follow suit. As Frost grinds his stogie out on a ring post, a multitude of pyrotechnics explode from seemingly every crevice of the arena. The lights flicker out and a voice bellows through the stillness…

 

“THIS IS MAH HOUSE!”

 

The fans’ rabid booing almost drowns out Rammestein’s “Du Haste,” ushering in Jamie “Jay Dawg” Drazon. The houselights fire up to find JD standing atop the entrance ramp with his head lowered and waiting for Funyon’s introduction.

 

“Now entering the arena at a weight of 243 pounds and hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia. He is the SWF ICTV Champion, JAMIE…JAY…DAWG…DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZOOOOOOOOON!”

 

JD grips both hands on the straps of the title belt around his waist and marches down the ramp, a cold smile plastered on his kisser.

 

Stevens: “Jay Dawg attacked Danny Williams in his return match against former WF superstar and current JL referee Ced Ordonez to re-stir the bad blood between them. They seem destined to collide this coming Sunday and Battleground, but we’ll have to wait and see if that match transpires.”

 

Riley: “For Danny’s sake, he better hope it doesn’t. Urinal cakes don’t taste that great.”

 

Stevens: “How would you know?”

 

Riley is saved from fumbling around for an answer by the voice of Freddy Mercury ringing out…

 

“HERE WE ARE…BORN TO BE KINGS…WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE…”

 

The lights go out once more, save for red flashes flickering intermittently. The fans’ jeering is loud and long, echoing throughout the building. Two dark figures emerge from the backstage curtain as alternating red, white, blue and green lights dance around the building. The main lights fire to life to find “The Superior One” Tom Flesher and Ejiro Fasaki standing side by side with dastardly smirks on their faces.

 

“His partners, representing the Magnificent Seven and respectively from Sarasota, Florida at a weight of 188 pounds and from Buffalo, New York at a weight of 213 pounds, they are tag team champion EJIRO FASAKI and SWF World Champion THE SUPERIOR ONE TOM FLESHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

 

Stevens: “Flesher won his World title from TNT earlier this month and retained it against Frost two weeks ago…”

 

Riley: (interrupting) “See, he already beat both those losers. I don’t see why he needs to defend the belt against either one of them ever again.”

 

Flesher and Fasaki meet up with Jay Dawg on the floor. The three make a flourish of removing their title belts and handing them off to a ringside attendant. Flesher makes with a ‘no, kind sir, after you gesture’ to JD who ascends the stairs to the ring with Fasaki and Flesher in tow. The three men enter the ring and Tom plays to the crowd like they were worshipping him with love, not begging for his death with fiery hate.

 

Funyon sees one last index card in his hand. “Tom Flesher would like it to be known that he is in negotiations with World Wrestling Entertainment for the rights to the J.O.B. squad name for his team’s illustrious opponents tonight. And by ‘illustrious opponents’ he means ‘f*cking pussy ass losers.’”

 

Suddenly, Williams explodes out of his team’s corner, headed directly for Drazon! With Drazon only a foot or two away, Williams springs off his boot and slams a Yakuza Kick into his adversary’s face!

 

Stevens: “DYNAMIC KICK! DYNAMIC KICK!”

 

Riley: “Guess the truth hurts.”

 

The impact carries Drazon over the top rope and referee Nick Soapdish frantically calls for the bell as Funyon scrambles to remove himself from the action!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Paying no mind to Williams and Drazon, Flesher and Ejiro rocket across the ring towards Frost and TNT! Being the faster of the two, Ejiro reaches his destination first! He leaps at TNT and raises his knee......

 

Stevens: “JUMPING KNEE!”

 

But TNT catches Ejiro’s leg, and shoves him to the mat with authority! In that instant, Flesher approaches Frost, extending his boot for the ....

 

Stevens: “YAKUZA KICK!”

 

That finds it’s mark on Frost’s face!

 

CRACK!

 

Out on his feet, Frost slumps back in the corner, struggling to keep his eyes open. Moving with great haste, Flesher steps out on to the ring apron.....

 

SMACK!

 

The crowd roars with approval as TNT decapitates Ejiro with a Burning Lariat as he struggles to his feet after the missed Flying Knee! Realizing that Ejiro failed to take TNT down, Flesher rushes back into the ring!

 

Stevens: “Flesher was no doubt looking for the Ego Trip, which defeated TNT a few weeks back, but Ejiro failed to do his part and take TNT out with that Flying Knee!”

 

Riley: “It doesn’t matter, Flesher is man enough to take TNT and Frost out by himself! He’s the World Champion for crying out loud!”

 

Once Flesher is back inside, TNT stampedes towards him with his arm drawn back for what is sure to be another vicious Lariat.....

 

Stevens: “BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNING LARI-NO!”

 

Thinking fast, Flesher dips his torso down at the last possible second, sending TNT over the top rope with a back bodydrop! While TNT bounces off the apron and crash lands on the floor, Flesher points to his brain to show everybody how he did it.

 

Riley: “He may have caught Ejiro off guard, but not my Tom Flesher!”

 

Stevens: “Your Tom Flesher.......hey, what’s Danny Williams doing?”

 

Perched on the top turnbuckle like a hungry vulture, Williams is off in his own world, staring down at Drazon as he woozily climbs to his feet. Once Drazon turns around, Williams dives head first out of the ring, scoring with a jaw dropping Elbow Plancha!

 

CRACK!

 

Both men are down and the fans show their appreciation with a standing ovation.

 

Stevens: “WHAT A MANEUVER! ONLY IN THE SWF WILL YOU SEE ATHLETES SUCH AS THIS!”

 

Back in the ring, Flesher turns his attention to Frost, who is still propped up in the corner.

 

Smack! Smack! Smack!

 

Flesher jabs away at Frost’s jaw with some left and right Shodeas! The Champion pauses to golf clap for himself, before drawing back, and firing a Roundhouse Shotei with bad intentions...

 

that is blocked!

 

CRACK!

 

Frost counters with a big Haymaker that leaves Flesher motionless and spread eagle on the mat! Frost raises his fist to the fans for a big pop before yanking Tom up by his arm. Frost pushes the punch drunk Champion into the ropes, and sends him for the ride! Frost catches Flesher on the rebound in a Military Press to the “ohs” and “ahs” of the crowd. With Flesher hoisted high over his head, Frost walks to the edge of the ring, and lets him go!

 

THUMP!

 

The crowd cringes as Flesher splats on the floor like a raw egg dropped from a three-story building. Now on his feet, TNT marches over to the pan caked Champion and peels him off the floor. Frost barks a few quick orders down at his partner, who responds with a simple nod. With relative ease, TNT presses Flesher over his head in the same manner that Frost just did and makes his way towards the announce table. Riley jumps out of his chair, and screams at TNT....

 

Riley: “What the hell do you think your doing?”

 

Stevens: “It looks like TNT has a special delivery for us!”

 

Before TNT can make complete the delivery, Flesher wiggles out of his grip, landing on his feet behind him! Not giving TNT a chance to turn around, Flesher ducks his head underneath his armpit and links his arms around his waist!

 

SMACK!

 

Flesher cracks TNT in the back of the neck with a crippling palm strike that sends the Dynamic one crumpling to the floor! Still feeling like shit, Flesher also goes down. Frost throws his hands up in disgust and decides to shift his focus on Ejiro.

 

Stevens: “Frost was hoping that TNT could take the Champion out of the match by press slamming him on the table, however he miscalculated the slippery resilience of the Superior One.”

 

Riley: “It looks like Frost is going to have to do his own dirty work, next time. We all know Thompson can’t stand toe to toe with the World Champion.”

 

Frost calmly helps Ejiro to his feet, but discovers the lariat hasn’t knocked all of the fight out of the little guy!

 

CRACK!

 

Ejiro scores with a shocking Screaming Elbow that sends Frost tumbling to the mat! Ejiro doesn’t get a chance to celebrate this incredible achievement as Danny Williams comes sliding into the ring! Williams rushes Ejiro with a flurry of elbows that leaves him reeling! The crowd explodes as Williams quickly tucks Ejiro’s head between his legs and links his hands around his waist!

 

Stevens: “Danny Williams setting Ejiro up for A.......POWERBOMB?”

 

The fans jump out of their seats in disbelief as Williams bends his knees and lifts Ejiro over his shoulders!

 

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

Williams slams Ejiro into the mat by his thighs and quickly folds him up for the pin!

 

Stevens: “POWERBOMB! POWERBOMB! POWERBOOOOOOOOMB!”

 

Riley: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT! WHERE’S FLESHER AT!”

 

The crowd screams along with Soapdish’s count....

 

ONE

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THRE-

 

 

 

 

Stevens: “NO! Drazon breaks up the count with a nasty kick to Williams’ back!”

 

SMACK!

 

Williams drops to his knees, holding his back and wincing. Drazon draws back his leg and slams a sickening roundhouse kick right into Danny’s mouth!

 

CRACK!

 

Williams drops back to the mat, his hands clasped over his busted mouth. JD towers over him, shouting curses and looking to press his advantage. However, Frost nails him in the back of the head with a clubbing forearm!

 

Stevens: “In a match like this you need eyes in the back of your head.”

 

Riley: “And a lead pipe in your pants…wait…that doesn’t sound right.”

 

Soapdish leans over the ropes and yells at the struggling up Flesher and Thompson to get into the ring.

 

Stevens: “Disqualifications and count outs are technically in effect, but I think Soapdish is going to be very lenient in enforcing those rules.”

 

Riley: “If he did, he’d be as dumb as his name. Just let Flesher and his boys take those losers out of action.”

 

Soapdish is shocked out of his warning by having JD flung into the ropes next to him off of an Irish whip. Frost bends over for a backdrop as Jay Dawg races toward him, but JD pulls up and rifles a knee into the Velvet Hammer’s face! The fans groan as Drazon grabs the back of Frost’s head and drives it down into his jutted out knee!

 

CRUNCH!

 

Stevens: “Facebreaker! However, JD doesn’t look to follow up and instead heads after Williams still recovering from that kick on the other side of the ring.”

 

Riley: “JD could care less about Frost and, although it pains me to say it, he could care less about his own team. All he wants to do is deliver to Williams that deathwish he had for so long.”

 

Flesher shovels TNT under the bottom rope with a hand on his rear and slides in after. Fasaki shakily climbs up by the ropes and Tom calls him over. Williams slumps in the bottom left corner and JD goes to town on him with a series of stiff punches.

 

Stevens: “Flesher struggles to get the heavier TNT up and against his chest in a powerbomb position. Ejiro snags an inverted facelock, I think they’re going for the Overruled!”

 

Flesher throws TNT’s feet off to the right while Fasaki swings with the motion to spin Thompson’s body up and over to crash against the mat with a spinning inverted neckbreaker!

 

SLAM!

 

The camera then picks out JD stumbling rearward out of the corner with Danny Williams already hoisted up in a suplex position. Drazon twists as he falls and drops Danny face down on top of TNT!

 

BLAM!

 

Stevens: “Face first suplex by Jay Dawg, dropping him right on Thompson to compound the impact.”

 

Riley: “Now slap the Velvet BUTT Slammer on the dog pile and we’ll have a loser sandwich.”

 

Stevens: “Is that seriously the best you can come up with it.”

 

Riley: “F*ck you! Jet lag.”

 

Frost lurches up from the canvas, but Flesher and Fasaki are there to drag him up the rest of the way. Tom whips the big man into the far ropes with Ejiro giving a bit of an extra push on the back. The Mag 7 contingent stands a few inches apart waiting for Frost to return to hit a flapjack. Jay Dawg stands right behind the pile of bodies waving Frost on, so he can presumably hit him with a move on the way down. Frost’s eyes go wide as he rushes toward the heels and his mind snaps to attention. He speeds up to catch Tom and Ejiro off guard and floors them both with a double clothesline! The fans’ cheering is short lived as Frost’s path across the ring is halted by a stiff yakuza kick from Jay Dawg!

 

SMACK!

 

Frost falls to the side holding is chest, but before JD can get his leg back down, two hands emerge from the tangled bodies on the mat! They wrap around Drazon’s ankle and rip his planted leg out from under him, forcing him to splat to the canvas!

 

Stevens: “Danny Williams doesn’t make the save quite in time, but he shows that he will just keep on coming where Drazon is concerned.”

 

Riley: “Which will only force JD to tear the punk’s legs off so he’ll leave him alone.”

 

Williams slides off of TNT and makes his feet with both hands still on JD’s ankle. Danny grinds a boot into the side of JD’s head for that extra oomph and pulls way back on the elevated single leg crab.

 

Stevens: “Then Williams will just roll after him in a wheel chair and fight on.”

 

Riley: “That’s…that’s…damn, that is pretty hardcore.”

 

Flesher and Fasaki work themselves up and see the predicament JD is in. They move to his aide, but TNT springs to life with a shoulder tackle to Flesher’s midsection that sends both of them into the far ropes and the crowd into a fit of hysterics. Caught off guard, Ejiro misses Frost snagging him from behind with a rear waistlock! He angles up an elbow to the side of the head and it’s enough to get him the standing switch. He bends his knees and grits his teeth, but can’t muster the force to get the big man up. Frost quickly counters back into the waistlock and deftly hoists Ejiro in one motion. He flings him over his head and releases at the top of his arc for a German suplex! However, with all the countering, Frost is unaware of how close to the ropes he actually is and sends Faskai plunging over the top rope to the floor!

 

WHACK!

 

Fasaki’s head strikes against the edge of the ring and he skims to the floor with a dull, wet thump.

 

Stevens: “Good lord! Fasaki took a hell of a bump out of the ring on that German suplex. That could make him a non-factor for the rest of this encounter.”

 

Riley: “It won’t matter. My Tommy could beat these three goofs by himself. But you watch, Ejiro will bounce back, he’s tougher than John Wayne’s boot leather.”

 

Frost takes the top rope with both hands and glides underneath the bottom strand to the floor. Williams continues to crank on the single leg crab and mince his boot into JD’s skull. He screams and grunts, but refuses to submit at the ref’s urging. TNT and Flesher unravel from each other and stand. Flesher looks to take the quick advantage with a Yakuza kick, but TNT shimmies just out of reach and grabs the ankle with his left hand. He reaches up higher to secure the knee with his right and falls back to leg whip a stunned Superior One over to the mat.

 

THWACK!

 

Stevens: “Thompson shows Flesher that he’s not the only that can pull ‘superior’ counters like a modified dragon screw leg whip out of his bag of tricks.”

 

Riley: “Ho-hum, TNT got lucky. As Gorilla Monsoon used to say, he wouldn’t know a wristlock from a wristwatch.”

 

Taylor keeps hold of the leg as he rolls through the move and sits on Flesher’s back. He struggles to grab the other leg and pulls it up to cinch a Boston Crab of his own!

 

Stevens: “Double submission moves in the ring! Either man can tap out in a match like this.”

 

Riley: “But they won’t!”

 

Soapdish frantically checks on both men, but neither will tap out. JD uses his hands to shove Williams’ foot off his head and starts crawling for the ropes. Williams shakes his head ‘no’ and keeps dragging him toward the center of the ring. Flesher has the ropes just within reach, but Thompson cranks back extra hard on the crab to paralyze him with pain as he stretches out for them.

 

Stevens: “Fasaki could run to his partner’s aide, but I don’t think he’ be able to do that with the spill he took and Frost working him over on the outside.”

 

Frost lifts Ejiro up. He stands, dead on his feet and sways in the nonexistent breeze. Frost measures him and finally shoots a hand into the air to signal for the chokeslam. The fans pop and Riley whimpers.

 

Riley: “C’mon that is highly uncalled for with the move he took. Frost is the kind of guy that would pour lemon juice on a paper cut.”

 

Stevens: “I thought you said Fasaki was tougher than John Wayne’s boot leather.”

 

Riley: “John Wayne’s dead and I don’t want Fasaki joining him for a game of pinochle in hell any time soon.”

 

Frost slaps his huge mitt around Ejiro’s throat. The squeezing wakes him up like a cold shower and Fasaki’s eyes shine to life through the stringy hair matted on his face with sweat. Frost puts a hand on the man’s back to steady him and lifts his foe high into the air. He snarls at Ejiro and makes a display of holding him aloft with little effort for the fans. Fasaki struggles and fidgets in the hold. He takes Frost’s wrist with both hands and uses the arm for a pivot. He spins his body around to slam his boot into the back of Frost’s head!

 

Stevens: “Unbelievable! Ejiro Fasaki hits an enzuiguiri from being held five feet off the floor by Frost by the throat!”

 

Riley: “Frost took too much time playing to the peons. ‘Frost is party’ now, but he’s not focused anymore.”

 

Both men lay on the floor mats with the fans jeering washing over them. Fasaki claws his way up the apron with Frost lying unmoving. He spies Flesher and JD both locked firm in submission holds and most likely only seconds away from giving up. He pulls himself to the apron by the ropes and stands behind TNT, who has his back to the cords in working the Boston Crab.

 

Stevens: “LOOK OUT, TNT!”

 

Alas, Grand Slam’s warning is unheard. Fasaki steps to the second rope while taking the top strand in both hands. He bounces in place twice for leverage and then rockets over the ropes into the ring. He sits out as he flies past Taylor’s dreadlocked head and snatches him in a headlock! Thompson is unceremoniously torn out of the Boston Crab and dragged to the mat!

 

Stevens: “Springboard, diving bulldog! A very creative move by Ejiro Fasaki.”

 

Riley: “Now he has to make the save on Jay Dawg while Flesher recovers.”

 

Williams is aware of Fasaki approaching and releases his hold. JD’s leg smacks the mat with a hollow sound and he rolls off to the side holding the appendage and grimacing with his eyes closed. Ejiro comes cart wheeling in with a spinning heel kick, but Williams sidesteps it. Fasaki finds his feet and spins to face Williams, who steps into the man and envelops his arms around the upper torso. Before Danny can toss him with a railgun suplex, Fasaki grapevines both legs with his own and pushes out. Williams slides across the mat to spread eagle. Ejiro unwraps his legs and kicks backwards off the mat with both hands on the back of Danny’s head. He pushes forward and jackhammer’s Danny’s face into the canvas with a face jam!

 

Riley: “Nova is going to sue Fasaki for copyright infringement on all these moves he’s just invented.”

 

Stevens: “I think that fall to the outside scrambled his brain like eggs in the shell.”

 

Riley: “SCRAMBLES THE EGGS IN THE SHELL! I’ve seen that thing on T.V. it looks badass. I want one to go next to my RonCo. Food Dehydrator.”

 

The camera pulls back to a wide shot and discovers Frost wobbly making his feet on the outside. He holds a hand on the back of his head and isn’t quite conscious enough to heed the fans’ alarm. Ejiro races to the ropes and lies flat out as he leaps over them, aimed at Frost on the floor! Frost looks up to find the small missile of a man coming at him and reaches out to catch him on instinct. He makes a meaty slap against Frost’s chest and the Iceman stumbles backwards. Frost grunts and tosses Ejiro overhead into the guardrail!

 

CLANG!

 

Both men slide down the metal barrier, chests heaving to suck in precious oxygen.

 

Stevens: “Barrel roll slam into the guardrail is most likely enough to end Fasaki’s offensive flurry.”

 

Riley: “Ha! You said he wouldn’t recover from the suplex to the outside!”

 

Ejiro and Frost are both lifeless on the floor, while the other four competitors recover on the inside. Tom Flesher and Jay Dawg come around first, but Danny and TNT are still much too dazed to reach their feet. That’s not a problem as Team Heel is glad to help them up; JD with Danny and Tom with TNT. Positioning themselves next to each other in the center of the ring, the Hardcore Maniac and Superior One nod at each other before shooting their opponents into the ropes!! Deathwish and TNT hurtle side-by-side, unable to put on the breaks. They turn to take the strands in the back and bounce off racing at their rivals!

 

Stevens: “Double-Irish-whip! What do Flesher and Drazon have in mind here??”

 

Jay Dawg catches Danny and quickly spins around 180-degrees, cratering the ring technician into the mat with a vicious spinebuster! Flesher has other plans for TNT, lunging up into the air and cracking a Yakuza kick right into his chest!!

 

 

SMACK!

 

 

Taylor goes down to the mat and Flesher regains his footing. Having nothing but abhorrence towards TNT, Tom shrugs, bypassing any technical moves and instead opts to stomp Taylor into the mat!! The crowd boos furiously and TNT lies there grimacing in pain, unable to block Flesher’s flurry of boots. Just a yard or two away, it’s Jay Dawg looks down at the hurt Danny clutching his head between his arms… the same head that’s still not fully recovered from a concussion at the hands of JD…

 

 

…a concussion…

 

 

A wide smile forms across the Hardcore Maniac’s face and he hastily drops a few knees into Williams’ head, having absolutely no concern for the former US champion’s health! A small reservoir of blood forms in Danny’s ear and, once he’s completely out of it, JD switches gears by grabbing a hold of his opponent’s foot and turning him over onto his belly…

 

Stevens: “ANKLE LOCK!! JD’S GOT THE ANKLE LOCK ON DANNY’S ONCE-INJURED ANKLE!!!!! I’m not sure if he wants the submission, or just wants to torture his opponent!”

 

Riley: “JD knows all of Williams’ weak spots. Tap you Kentucky Fried bitch! TAAAAAP!!”

 

Danny’s face scrunches up and he grunts in pain, desperately reaching out for the ropes as the referee persistently asks for the submission! Flesher, having successfully stomped an explosive mudhole dry, looks on in reverence, nonchalantly golf-clapping for his wildcard of a teammate. TNT is rather sluggish in his recovery and Tom looks down at an imaginary watch on his hand. He shrugs in an ‘eh, I got a few extra minutes to burn’ manner and walks over to Danny, before mercilessly stomping his head!! Danny’s head bounces off of the canvas over and over as Flesher stomps away. He adds a stiff kick to the side of the skull at the end!!

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

Stevens: “Flesher’s crew is ruthless in the ring. I think that Williams and Thompson’s only hope is Frost, who’s still recovering on the outside!!”

 

Riley: “…Tom!! Coffee’s ready!”

 

Tom really lays the boots thick on Danny’s head, but suddenly a large paw comes out of nowhere and grabs hold of Flesher’s head!

 

Stevens: “FROST!!”

 

Riley: “What a friggen’ bully.”

 

Frost sloppily hits a knee to Flesher’s gut and, still standing on the ring apron, latches on a hasty front facelock! Tom immediately panics, but the crowd goes crazy, until…

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!”

 

Flesher kicks Frost in his little snowman, unseen by the ref!! Not a single fan in the arena hesitates to boo the living hell out of the World Champion, who backs away from his hated opponent… right into another one!!

 

Stevens: “Tom hits a low blow on Chilly Chilly, but here’s Bang Bang!”

 

Riley: “Don’t you people ever die!?”

 

Taylor doesn’t let Flesher react; he puts his head through the Superior One’s armpit, wraps his arms around his waist… lifts him into the air… aaaaaaand…

 

 

THUD!

 

 

Stevens: “BACKDROP DRIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

The back of Tom’s head almost makes a dent in the ring. He completes a full back somersault before going absolutely still. A barely recovered Frost steps over the top rope of the ring and Taylor turns the evil World Champion over onto his back before nodding to Frost in a ‘go ahead’ manner. Frost drops onto Flesher with a lateral press!

 

 

Stevens: “This could be it!! Did you see Tom’s head bounce right off the canvas!?”

 

Riley: “No, the monitor turned to static, is Tom still winning?”

 

Stevens: “NO!”

 

Riley: “Lalalalalala—I can’t heeeeeeeeeeear yooooooou…”

 

 

“ONE!!”

 

 

Riley: “Um, wait, those aren’t counts for Tom. What’s going on!?”

 

Jay Dawg doesn’t turn back and look, he just wrenches away on Danny’s ankle, more concerned with hurting him. TNT wants to be safe though, and dives into JD from behind, clipping him in the back of the knee with a hard shoulder block!!

 

Riley: “Now why on Earth was that necessary??”

 

 

“TWO!!”

 

 

Stevens: “Just a second away from victory…!”

 

Jay Dawg clutches his ankle in pain and Ejiro is still only half recovered outside as the zebra’s hoof comes down one final time…

 

 

“THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—NO!!”

 

 

Riley: “Oh thank God! I almost soiled myself!”

 

Stevens (smelling the air): “…Hadn’t you already done that? I mean, what else could that smell be? Just you?”

 

Riley: “Oh shut up.”

 

The crowd moans with disappointment as Flesher kicks out just in time!! Frost knows Tom all too well and doesn’t seem at all surprised. He quickly grabs a handful of his hair and tows him up to his feet! Frost looks back and forth at the crowd and they cheer in approval as he clasps his hands around Tom’s head and shoves it between his legs, locking on a standing headscissors!!

 

Stevens: “Looks like Frost is going for… the Early Winter!!”

 

Riley: “Where the F*CK are JD and Ejiro!?”

 

Ejiro is crawling to the ring apron on the outside as a hurt Danny Williams rolls out of the squared circle, both hands rubbing his injured ankle. Drazon, slightly wincing at his hurt leg as well, pays no attention to anyone else except for Williams and slides to the outside after him! Frost lifts Tom Flesher into a powerbomb position… and Taylor Thompson cinches an inverted facelock on the Superior One. The rest is academic.

 

Stevens: “OVERRULED!!!”

 

Bobby Riley simply whimpers.

 

Stevens: “TNT rolls out of the way, and Frost makes the cover!!!!! That’s all, folks! Chilly Chilly Bang Bang has put Flesher away with a double-team maneuver right out of Justice and Rule’s playbook!”

 

The crowd cheers and counts along with Soapdish…

 

 

“ONE!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THR—“

 

 

SMACK!

 

“NO!!”

 

Stevens: “Ejiro Fasaki from out of nowhere with a dropkick to Frost’s head!!”

 

Riley: “I heart you, Ejiro!”

 

The crowd boos and Frost grabs his head, dazedly rolling off of Flesher. A surprised TNT lurches to his feet, but Ejiro is too quick for him, delivering a swift kick to the gut that doubles him over! Fasaki scores a standing headscissors without much trouble and before TNT knows it his arms are hooked and he’s being dropped right onto his…

 

 

 

…H…

 

 

 

…E…

 

 

 

…A…

 

 

 

…D…!

 

 

 

THUD!

 

Stevens: “Ejirocation on TNT!! However, Frost is on his feet and ready to rumble!”

 

Ejiro doesn’t even try for the pin, instead hopping to his feet and staring the Velvet Hammer straight in the eye before charging forward!

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

Ejiro’s big moment is completely ruined by a big, hard, Icelandic right hook to the jaw that sends him reeling back! He charges again, this time only to be caught around the throat with one of Frost’s gigantic mitts! His eyes go wide as Frost throws him off his feet into the nearest corner with a violent choke toss and starts punching away!!

 

Stevens: “Ejiro takes Thompson and out and tries to do the same with Frost, but it’s no use as the big man just uses his amateur boxing skills to gain the advantage!”

 

Riley: “Pbbbth, Ejiro is just the worm until the hook that is Tommy gets a nibble and can stop playing possum.”

 

Stevens: “Well, he’s pretty good at playing possum then. And… hey! Look over here!”

 

Mark points to where Danny and Jamie are really laying the smackdown on each other, senselessly brawling back and forth! Jamie hits a few punches to Danny’s ever-so vulnerable head, but Williams keeps coming back…

 

Stevens: “Elbow…! Elbow…! Elbow…! BIG ELBOOO—NO!!! JD blocks!!”

 

Indeed, Drazon shields his head with both of his arms and before Danny can form another plan of attack he swiftly spins around and knocks Williams’ block off with a HE-YUGE Thai Roundhouse kick!!! Danny’s head snaps to the side and he lifelessly collapses over the announcing table, blood teeming from his ear.

 

Riley: “Hey! Off our table, punk!

 

JD steps up onto the table, dragging Danny with him.

 

Riley: “Oh, need to use our table Mr. Drazon sir? No problem!”

 

Jamie ignores Riley, lugging Danny to his feet on the announcer’s table and hooking on a rear waistlock!!

 

Stevens: “No… don’t do it Jamie!”

 

Riley: “AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!”

 

With the Spanish Announcer table right behind him, gladly volunteering to take the impact of a German suplex, Drazon glances back to make sure that he’s positioned right and then li--…

 

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!”

 

 

Danny unexpectedly snaps to life and hooks his leg up into JD’s crotch! The crowd lets out a sympathetic groan for the Hardcore Maniac and Williams is smart enough to know that he has absolutely no time to waste as he maneuvers himself around Drazon and cinches a rear waistlock of his own! Danny is in a complete daze and doesn’t even check his positioning! Jay Dawg tries to keep his feet planted, but it’s too late as he’s heaved alllllll the way over Danny’s head…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

Stevens and Riley: “OH MY GOD!!”

 

Jay Dawg lands on the Spanish announcers’ table head-first, and the table instantaneously collapses underneath Jamie’s weight!

 

 

“HO-LEE-SHIT!”

 

“HO-LEE-SHIT!”

 

“HO-LEE-SHIT!”

 

 

Stevens: “DANGEROUS GERMAN THROUGH THE TABLE! JAY DAWG COULD BE DEAD!! HE’S OUT OF THIS MATCH FOR GOOD! Danny took advantage with a low blow and has successfully taken JD out of this match!”

 

Every member of the crowd wouldn’t question Mark’s observation, because Jamie looks really quite… well, dead. Danny’s only sign of life is that he’s holding his head and rolling around in the rubble that was once a commentators’ table.

 

Riley: “In a fair world, Jay Dawg would pop right up and do a jig.”

 

Stevens: “In a fair world, Mr. Galatea would be president.”

 

Inside the ring, Ejiro has slumped to a sitting position after Frost’s punching and his is now busy stomping a mudhole dry. Out of nowhere, Tom Flesher hits a running shotei to the back of Frost’s head!! Frost rams chest-first into the ring turnbuckle and slumps over it lifelessly, allowing Ejiro to desperately roll out of the whole tangled mess. Flesher knows that it’s time to finish and he steps to the outside apron, climbs up the ring post, grabs a hold of Frost’s head and turns him to face the center of the ring. He sits down on the top turnbuckle and plants a knee in the back of Frost’s neck!! The crowd, knowing what’s coming next, boos ferociously!

 

Stevens: “Tom Flesher is going for the Ego Trip!! That’s the same move that he used to win the World Title from TNT!”

 

Riley (grinning): “I could really go for some raw Icelander right now, couldn’t you?”

 

Tom pushes himself off of the ring post and rides Frost to the mat where his unprotected face is jammed right into the canvas!

 

 

THUD!

 

 

Stevens: “Dammit! And there it is!”

 

Riley: “Come on, love! Just make the cover and it’s finished!”

 

Stevens: “…’love’?”

 

Flesher flips over onto his back for an instant, breathing heavily. He finally heeds Riley’s advice, turning Frost over onto his backside and draping an arm across his chest! Soapdish dives in to make the count!

 

 

“ONE!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THRE—NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

Just a millisecond before the victory, Danny lopes into the ring and hits a hard running knee drop across the back of Flesher’s leg! The fans threaten to blow the roof off the TD Waterhouse Arena!!

 

Stevens: “Danny Williams with save!”

 

Riley: “Dammit!”

 

Tom yelps in pain and grabs at the back of his leg while Danny delivers a couple stomps to it, the crowd egging him on with every boot! As his aggression really kicks in… Ejiro comes from behind, drilling him in the back of the head with a STIFF screaming elbow!! Danny stumbles forward and Ejiro goes with him as both men topple through the ropes to the outside!!

 

Stevens: “Danny barely saves the day for Frost, but he’s caught with a screaming elbow at the hands of Ejiro. As concussion prone as Danny is, I don’t think he’s even conscious after that!”

 

Riley: “Hey, the more dead punks the merrier.”

 

Tom winces as he tries to rise to a vertical base, eventually reaching his feet. The Superior One looks down at Frost, who’s just barely getting up to his feet, and thrusts a knee into the Iceman’s jaw!! Blood spills from Frost’s mouth and he spins around to flop on his to the canvas. Flesher smiles a big, cocky grin that the crowd absolutely hates. Enjoying the negative response, Tom does the only thing that could garner even MORE boos – he signals for the Superior Stretch Beta by making the ‘cutthroat’ motion with his hand!!

 

Riley: “It’s time for that bitch to bow down and submit to Tom’s magnificence, once and for all!”

 

Flesher makes sure to strut the three steps it takes to reach Frost, then leans over…

 

 

“GAH!”

 

 

…only to be clipped with a shoulder-block to the back of his knee courtesy of TNT! The World Champion screams in pain and falls to the mat, rolling out of the ring frantically looking for cover! He grasps his leg in excruciating anguish and collapses to the outside out of sheer pain!

 

Stevens: “Flesher took a pretty hard hit in that bad leg of his, and now he’s hardly able to stand!”

 

Riley: “Stand!? STAND!? Who says that he needs to stand in order to beat these buffoons!? Go for the jugular, Tommy!”

 

Fasaki hears the roar of the crowd and untangles himself from Williams on the floor. Thompson looks to pursue Tom to the outside, but Ejiro glides in under the bottom rope to sap his attention. Fasaki charges and Thompson extends his arm for a clothesline. Ejiro spies it in plenty of time to duck……but is tripped by a thudding blow to the back of the knee!

 

Stevens: “Frost dives for the knee clip! The clothesline hits! DOUBLE GOOZLE!”

 

Riley: “Drazon, get your carcass moving! Ejiro needs you!”

 

Frost wipes blood from his mouth and pulls Fasaki up with him as he stands. Thompson stands to the side of Frost and they bend their opponent over between them and underhook an arm apiece! They flip Ejiro against their chests in tandem and plunge to the mat!

 

THWACK!

 

Stevens: “DOUBLE EARLY WINTER! BOTH MEN HOLD ON FOR THE COVER!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Fasaki twitches and fidgets in the pair’s grasp!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Riley: “He kicked out!”

 

Stevens: “No, he just missed!”

 

DING DING DING

 

Frost and Thompson let go and Ejiro rolls away from them to lay cold on the canvas. TNT and Frost slip to the floor and start assisting Williams to his feet.

 

Funyon: “Here are your winners by pinfall, Danny Williams, TNT and Frost!”

 

The crowd pops huge as CCBB help their partner to his feet and support him between them. Danny’s eyes are glassy and he’s not putting any weight on his bad ankle.

 

Stevens: “We are desperately out of time from all this action, but you can rest assured that we’ll see twice the warfare this Sunday at Battleground!”

 

Riley: “Where those three WILL go down!”

 

The camera lights on the winning trio for a moment before cutting to JD still comatose in the debris of the announcers’ table, then over to Flesher shouting blood curdling curses. He pulls himself up by the ring edge and screams, “WHERE’S MY F*CKING TITLE!” to a paramedic trying to help him. He shoves the man off and the picture fades with the audience still popping madly.

[Guest Suicide King]

An interesting show to be sure! Look for the PPV card to be up tomorrow afternoon around 6:30 PM EST. Should be plenty of fireworks if this show is any indication...