Jump to content
TSM Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Rob E Dangerously

Who is Mr. America?

Recommended Posts

Obviously.. this Mr. America fellow has had some new-grown controversy erupting around him. But, it is time to eliminate people and see who the man is.

 

ELIMINATED: Sean O'Haire, Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper (seen on screen with Senor Americano), Michael Cole and Tazz (commentating). Sable, Torrie, Nidia, Dawn (just wrestled).

 

We could eliminate all the non-blondes too. (don't take that the wrong way)

 

That would leave us with: Billy Gunn, Brian Kendrick, Rikishi, and others.

 

Now, this speculation with Hulk Hogan is just more jumping to conclusions before all the proof is in.

 

Sure, he sounds like Hogan, but so does Big Show and number others! In fact, my equation is thrown off if the person just put on a wig and a fake moustache. Don't even get me started on Tenacious Z, he's a huge suspect in this Mr. America thing.

 

Sure, he looks a bit like Hogan, but Hogan is sure to have look-a-likes, or body doubles, for when fans want to beat him up, but they get the double.

 

Mr. America does use the template for the catchphrases of Hulk Hogan. Once again, more circumstancial evidence. I used Hogan's catchphrases before, that doesn't make me Hogan. I'm also playing "Real American" on Winamp, that doesn't mean that I'm 50 years old and bald.

 

In fact, I feel the reason that Mr. America got signed to the ironclad contract is simple. Stephanie had heard that he would be persecuted for his tendancy to act like Hogan, and she wanted to protect him so his career could prosper.

 

What Vince has against Mr. America is pure discrimination. We don't know if it's Hogan, Kendrick, Rodney Mack or even Brian Knobbs.

 

My main suspects: Brian Kendrick, Tenacious Z, The Cat, Brian Knobbs, Hulk Hogan and Ed Leslie

 

Until next week, when more evidence can be accessed and more people eliminated, I say the idenity of Mr. America is still unknown.

 

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago

 

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest TheHulkster

Besides, it can't possibly be Hogan. Vince McMahon suspended him indefinitely untill his contract expires. If it was Hogan (which it isn't), Jerry McDevitt and his merry band of scavengers would bleed the poor Hulkster dry. Hogan has kids to feed you know, i'm sure he wouldn't risk having food on their table just to come back under a mask. That would be stupid. I heard on Wrestlezone.com it was Dan Spivey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not to mention that the Mr. America mask, if it was over the head of Hulk Hogan, would stick to Hogan's head with suction, causing pain when Hogan had to take it off for showers and sex.

 

Kendrick, on the other hand, is still a big suspect

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Bannable Offense

It's Ric Flair. Trust me. Nobody would ever suspect a Raw guy to be Smackdown's Mr. America. Besides, I got this information from a reliable source that will remain anonymous to protect their identity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Mattdotcom

Well, you've stolen my idea, you funny bastard.

 

Parody Mr. America in World's Worst Wrestling. That's some good stuff that needs a comeback.

 

And I will refuse to believe anything until hb2k_buzzsaw confirms it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest AndrewTS

Leslie. I guess he took Stacker 2 to work off the big gut. He has the same orangish, leathery skin, the same goofy expression, and he's just as talentless.

 

However, he leeched off of Hogan yet again by altering his catchphrases. He also grew a mustache and bleached it and his hair to make himself LOOK like he has blond hair and a Hogan-like mustache.

 

The Beefer is back in the WWE at last!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest MillenniumMan831

I'm kind of thinking it's Chris Jericho. I see that he was growing a mustache. He has blond hair. But he is Canadian, ALAS that's the GENIUS of it. No one would ever expect him of smothering himself in the red, white, and blue.

 

And after Piper had some choice words for CJ, there may be hell to pay NEXT WEEK!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChris

Well, we know he doesn't like Vince McMahon very much. I'm guessing it's Nailz.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Mattdotcom

Prediction: Leslie Nielsen returns to handle this case. Put Vince on commentary for it. "HO HO HO! THAT MAN CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest MillenniumMan831

It could have been Kamala with the stars and all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Scalded Dog
Rock over London, Rock on Chicago

Wesley Willis ownz almost as much as Guy Stokes

 

In all seriousness, it was obviously Jeff Hardy. Just with the HHH effect.

 

But there was a huge stoyrline close up. Brock Lesner was the driver of the hummer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest MaxPower27
Prediction: Leslie Nielsen returns to handle this case. Put Vince on commentary for it. "HO HO HO! THAT MAN CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!"

::dies laughing::

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Well, you've stolen my idea, you funny bastard.

 

Parody Mr. America in World's Worst Wrestling. That's some good stuff that needs a comeback.

 

And I will refuse to believe anything until hb2k_buzzsaw confirms it.

and I did just put up a WWW card on the fantasy board

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne

This is all an elabarote ruse by Vince McMahon.

 

Next week on Smackdown.

 

*It was me Hogan, it was me all along*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest CED Ordonez
This is all an elabarote ruse by Vince McMahon.

 

Next week on Smackdown.

 

*It was me Hogan, it was me all along*

If anything near this scenario happens, we know it's time for McMahon to step down and time for his head to accept our hurled bricks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne

I'm gonna predict that Hogan makes an appearance on the Titantron when Mr.America is in the ring.

 

Also, McMahon at some point in time coming out has Mr.America, wouldnt' shock me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Fook_Hing_Ho

This just in:

 

In a shocking twist of irony, Mr. America will ultimately end up being Bret Hart.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest the pinjockey
This just in:

 

In a shocking twist of irony, Mr. America will ultimately end up being Bret Hart.

You are supposed to credit 1bob when you take information from them

 

And Mr. America was obviously the new gimmick for Rico.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest AndrewTS

Are we REALLY sure that Del Wilkes retired?

 

I believe he sold the rights to the Patriot gimmick and WWE already uses the Patriot theme they used before for Angle...soooo...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X
This just in:

 

In a shocking twist of irony, Mr. America will ultimately end up being Bret Hart.

And he's coming in to FINALLY lead the inVasion, right?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Coffey

Well, know that The Rock is out of the picture, the two men whom the Rock thought could beat him in the Royal Rumble might make a comeback. They have a chance to win that bitch now.

 

Of course, we all know whom those two people that The Rock feared were. Crash Holly & Headbanger Mosh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jobber of the Week
That would leave us with: Billy Gunn, Brian Kendrick, Rikishi, and others.

But do any of these guys have 24 inch pytho... Er.. Patriots?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×