Guest tank_abbott Report post Posted May 4, 2003 9/11 Jokes...read and be offended! What does WTC stand for? - "What Trade Center?" Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world? A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds Q: Why do tourists flock to New York? A: It's a blast The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers: Dale Earnhardt. At the World Trade Center restaurant, they offered three seating areas: smoking, non-smoking and burned beyond recognition. They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC: they have found 5000 extra pairs of hands... New York, New York, so good they hit it twice American Airlines is now offering sight seeing tours of Manhattan! Q: What is world most efficient airline? A: American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New York 8:48! What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones head sitting in 90th floor of the WTC ? - The 91st floor..... What was the last thing going through Mr. Smiths head sitting in 110th floor of the WTC ? - The radio mast... America's new math: Q: Now how many sides to a Pentagon? A: 4 If one side of the Pentagon has collapsed, will it now be renamed "The Square"? It should be renamed "The Penta-gone" It should be renamed "Manflatten" Famous last words: "Amal, was this tower here yesterday?" American Airline's pilot announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing on New York in about 10 minutes....." Well, this proves one thing.... New Yorkers really come together in a crunch Today FBI concluded that New York had been hit by a U.F.M (unidentified flying muslim) Q: What did one terrorist say to the other terrorist before boarding their respective airplanes? A: I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam! NEWSFLASH.... The WTC has been destroyed.... thousands of New York executives feared dead.... Hookers all across the city are in mourning..... "25,000 sq. ft. Office space for rent. Recently renovated. New Air Conditioning unit. Needs TLC. Contact me at One World Trade Centre. 85th Floor, Room 18." "It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!" Q: Why didn't Superman stop the planes from hitting the Trade Towers? A: Because he's a quadriplegic! Q: What do you call a dust storm? A: Trade winds. Q: What's the area code of the World Trade Center? A: 220 (two to zero). Q: What should have tipped off the ticket sellers? A: When the terrorists asked if there was anything cheaper than one-way. Q: What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center? A: Ten seconds flat. Q: How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up? A: The rest of your life Q: Why are police and firemen New York's finest? A: Because now you can run them through a sieve. Optimism, as you fall past the 20th floor you shout "I'm not hurt yet" How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb? God knows, they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot What's the number one drink served on United Airlines? Flaming Manhattan What music do they play in the elevator in the WTC? Jump and It's Raining Men Floor 106...... you ARE the weakest link.... goodbye.... What color were the pilots eyes? Blue. One blew this way the other blew that way What team does a United Airlines pilot support? The New York Jets Where do Americans go on vacation? All over Manhattan How many Americans died in the WTC yesterday? Who gives a fuck What's the difference between Wembley and New York? Wembley's still got their twin towers. What's the difference between the attack on New York and the Oklahoma City Bombing? - Again foreigners prove they can do it better and more efficiently...... Then there's the retarded terrorist who tried to crash the A-Train into the World Trade Center.......... Yassar Arraffat and many other PLO members together with people from other Muslim nations are *Volunteering* to give blood for the victims of the tragedy... I guess they'll have some *Volunteers* to Fly the blood in too! Last words from Airline pilot "Right a bit, hey the trade centre, my brother works there...lets look just a bit closer...." The FBI have arrested the head of advertising at the Empire State Building for involvement in the WTC disaster. A spokesman said he was caught with 'Empire State: We're Back!!!' T-shirts in his office... Top 10 Good Things About The WTC Attack 10. There are now 18 fewer Arab taxi drivers terrorizing the streets. 9. Flight training schools proved that they are expensive but worth it. 8. People are learning how to spell "Afghanistan" correctly. 7. Plenty of parking available at airports now. 6. Jerry Springer Show was off the air for a whole week. 5. Sales for U.S. flags are way up. 4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD. 3. Much lower electric bills for Manhattan. 2. Home videos of the WTC attack more spectacular than Arnold Schwarzenegger's last 5 movies. And the number one ... 1. Some great new unobstructed views of Manhattan now. --- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted May 4, 2003 ... People are pathetic pieces of trash. 4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD. And it's FDNY you stupid fuck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest saturnmark4life Report post Posted May 4, 2003 He did warn you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted May 4, 2003 An he's still a stupid fuck. Anyone over the age of four knows it's FDNY. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest saturnmark4life Report post Posted May 4, 2003 Yeah, I'm in the UK and I knew that. Fair point. I mean, I probably have a higher tolerance than most, but some of that was just trying too hard to offend people that it stopped being funny. There's an art to it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anorak Report post Posted May 4, 2003 The only thing that offended me was the quality of the jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest IDrinkRatsMilk Report post Posted May 4, 2003 It might have been funnier, but that was just oversaturation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MaxPower27 Report post Posted May 4, 2003 Meh. Most were bad in a "wow, that's not funny" sense. If he REALLY wants to offend people, he'll ask for some more dead baby jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest saturnmark4life Report post Posted May 4, 2003 I got a festid pile of dead babies......jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted May 4, 2003 An he's still a stupid fuck. Anyone over the age of four knows it's FDNY. I thought FDNY was a clothing line? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kingpk Report post Posted May 4, 2003 It seems to me that "tastless humor" is an oxymoron: the jokes are either tastless but not funny, or funny, but not really offensive. The ones above would fall into the first category. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WhenDanSaysJump Report post Posted May 4, 2003 A great many of these are just slightly adapted from Princess Di's death. Others are just pretty crap jokes. "Why didn't Superman save..." jokes will have me pissing my pants every time, however Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest papacita Report post Posted May 4, 2003 Q: Why didn't Superman stop the planes from hitting the Trade Towers? A: Because he's a quadriplegic! Am I wrong to laugh at this? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted May 4, 2003 A great many of these are just slightly adapted from Princess Di's death. One or two were adapted from the Kennedy that skied into the tree. I thought FDNY was a clothing line? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest papacita Report post Posted May 4, 2003 I thought FDNY was a clothing line? I think he means DKNY...but I could be wrong. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest snuffbox Report post Posted May 4, 2003 Hilarity has failed to ensue here... Id like to get johnson1620's opinion on all this... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ShooterJay Report post Posted May 4, 2003 He probably is thinking of DKNY Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bob_barron Report post Posted May 4, 2003 I laughed at one of them but most of the jokes were pretty bad. Better luck next time Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Retro Rob Report post Posted May 4, 2003 How many Americans died in the WTC yesterday? Who gives a fuck If that isn't funny, I don't know what is. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mattdotcom Report post Posted May 5, 2003 I think he means DKNY Ah, yes. Donkey Kong New York. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RepoMan Report post Posted May 5, 2003 I thought FDNY was a clothing line? I thought that one was clever satire considering all the crap FDNY was plastered on as pepole tired to cash in on 9/11. I didn't find any of those joke funny, though I did laugh at the I PLANE NY shirts I saw one time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hardyz1 Report post Posted May 5, 2003 Tasteless AND funny: Q. What's the difference between a pizza and Jew? A. A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven. Q. What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood? A. You can't gargle sand. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620 Report post Posted May 5, 2003 Hilarity has failed to ensue here... Id like to get johnson1620's opinion on all this... If you really care, I laughed twice. The Superman joke and one other. I can't remember and most were so bad I'm not going back to find out. Tasteless humor requires a bit of talent. This guy hasn't got it. I on the other hand do, example... Jesus walks into an inn and hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can you put me up for the night?" See what I mean? And by the way, I thought these types of threads weren't allowed anymore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mole Report post Posted May 5, 2003 Those are just for shock value then being funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest tank_abbott Report post Posted May 5, 2003 I copied and pasted these... I figured i'd be banned by morning... This was my favorite: At the World Trade Center restaurant, they offered three seating areas: smoking, non-smoking and burned beyond recognition. But i have a collection of Serial Killer Murderibilla in my room, so I've got a macabe(sp?) way about me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted May 5, 2003 Why do chicks dig jesus? Because he was hung like this..*outstreches hands* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest IDrinkRatsMilk Report post Posted May 5, 2003 Why do chicks dig jesus? Because he was hung like this..*outstreches hands* Now THAT'S funny. I had heard that long ago but forgotten it until now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 8, 2003 I'm all for tasteless jokes, but the 9/11 ones weren't funny...not to say I wouldn't laugh at a 9/11 joke, but it would have to be better then those. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hardyz1 Report post Posted May 8, 2003 Taken from the old EZBoard a while after 9/11: What does Owen Hart have in common with the Twin Towers? They both debuted in 1987! It was funny because the question was the title of the topic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Dames 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2003 *Must...Hold...Back...Rage* Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
