SNL review- with a report of my weekend at SNL

[Guest bob_barron]

SNL Review- Ashton Kutcher/50 Cent

 

I went to SNL this weekend and for those interested- my trip review is at the end of the review. Except at Voy.

 

First off I have to mention the passing of Miss Elisabeth, who was a valet in the WWF and WCW. Elizabeth was involved in many memorable angles throughout her career and paved the way for people like Sable and Trish Stratus. From getting slapped by Jake “Snake” Roberts to getting kissed by Ric Flair- when Liz was involved an angle you knew you were going to get some great TV.

 

 

Hockey Playoff Review-

 

Philadelphia Flyers v. Team Bankruptcy

 

Talk about a tough series- who do I root for?? Ottawa has a 3-2 lead which isn’t really surprising- I expected this series to be very tight and close and they haven’t disappointed. Well Bobby Clarke isn’t dead yet but this has been a very fun series to watch. I’m rooting for Ottawa (yes I’m shocked too) and I hope they can pull it out. I picked Ottawa in 7.

 

New Jersey Devils v. Tampa Bay Lightning

 

Have the Devils been tested at all??? They’ve had two very easy cakewalks so far. I’m very worried about the conference finals since then the Devils three week vacation will be over and they may be caught napping. If Brodeuer keeps playing great and the Devils just play boring Devils hockey- they should be fine.

 

The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim v. Dallas Stars

 

I’m glad Anaheim finally lost since after 6 games- they’re little miracle comeback thing was wearing thin. I think it was more because I was worried about them having to play Vancouver with all that momentum. I picked Dallas in 7 at the beginning of the series and I think they will definitely pull it out in. Anaheim has been beaten and no longer has momentum. A smarter team with Stanley Cup experience (ie Dallas) will know how to exploit that and win the next two games.

 

Vancouver Canucks v. Minnesota Wild

 

I’m not getting overconfident just yet but I hope this run to the Cup never ends. After a slow start in Game 1, the Canucks have been able to combat the neutral trap of the Wild and play their kind of hockey. They’re getting a lot of shots and the Big 3 have stepped up and been fantastic. The Sedin twins are also starting to come into their own as they have scored or assisted on many important goals. Trent Klatt and Trevor ‘God’ Linden have brought the veteran leadership needed to make a run at the Cup. I really hope so- I cant get enough of this.

 

Basketball-

 

Okay- the basketball playoffs are such a convoluted mess due to the ass backwards way that the NBA schedules them that I am just going to preview Nets v. Boston.

 

The New Jersey Nets and the Boston Celtics met last year in the conference finals. That series is most famous for Boston making an incredible fourth quarter comeback to win Game 3. What really gets under my skin is that whenever anyone talks about the comeback- they never mention what I think was the most important statistic about it. You know how many games Boston won after winning Game 3?

 

0.

 

That’s right- the Nets were able to shake off the crushing loss and tell Boston- you were all that for one quarter but this is a best of seven series. I think the Nets will once again be able to beat the Celtics this year. Boston is pretty much the same team as they were last year except for the addition of Vin Baker. The Nets have added some muscle inside with Dikembee Mutombo. Boston is a two player team. Pierce and Walker can only do so much for them. You have to take them out sometime. The Nets have a terrific versatile starting lineup with three players who can score at anytime, defensive forces around the net and a deep bench led by “Luscious” Lucious Harris and Anson Williams. Boston will be tough and Walker and Pierce should be able to get one or two games. But the scoring touch of Richard Jefferson, the toughness of Kenyon Martin, the intensity of Dikembe Mutumbo and the all round excellence of Jason Kidd should be enough to get them through the series.

 

 

Mailbag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-

 

[email protected] writes-

 

I recently read your review of the above mentioned episode of SNL.

 

People enjoy Phish because they are the most original, exciting, and

interesting band around right now. No one else even comes close.

Anything most people would routinely hear on the radio, on MTV, etc. sucks,

and so do the huge bands like U2, Dave Matthews, etc.

 

If you really don't understand the "dorks," and yes, they are musical

geeks, check them out live, you would understand.

 

By the way, most people would say the same about you for putting a

"sports report" (especially mainly about hockey, which nobody cares about)

at the beginning of a review of an SNL episode.

 

Food for thought...

 

While I’m sure their live performances are awesome- on SNL they sounded like just a generic average band that happened to be pretty good. DMB does suck but U2 is one of the greatest bands of all time. Any band that can change their style of music and do a complete 180 yet still pump out good music and have their fanbase is one talented group.

 

I didn’t mean dork as an insult- I mean- I’m a dork. They just looked like people who wouldn’t have this huge fanbase- they looked like people who played Woodstock in between the big bands to calm the crowd down.

 

And nobody cares about hockey? NOBODY cares about hockey?

 

Move to Canada and then you will see how ludicrous that statement is. While hockey’s ratings may not be that high and it’s popularity could use a boost- to act like no one cares about is just absurd. You do realize that Hockey Night in Canada is one of the highest rated shows in Canada right? Were you there when 20,000 people went absolutely crazy when Toronto won two double overtime games this year? Do you realize that more people actually prefer the hockey playoffs to basketball- DESPITE basketball having more of a fanbase. I didn’t think so.

 

 

Chad Ruffner writes-

 

Hi Bob,

 

 

What did you think of the job Colin

Quinn did on Weekend Update when he replaced Norm

MacDonald In January 1998? I remember you saying that

Quinn was placed In the awkward slot of being W.U.

Anchor after Norm was fired from The Position, but you

never expressed an opinion of his performance. How

did you think he did?

 

 

Later,

Chad

 

Colin Quinn sucked at first. His first couple Weekend Updates were absolutely painful to watch. I think he just felt uncomfortable about replacing Norm and didn’t have his heart set into it. The guy also found out he’d be replacing Norm three days before his first Update which will screw up anyone. He got MUCH better pretty soon- and ended up becoming a good Update anchor.

 

 

And now the review. Keep in mind that I saw the dress rehearsal versions of these skits so lines and other things may have been tweaked from dress to air.

 

 

Cold Opening

Cast- Chris Parnell

Thoughts- SNL STILL won’t give up on doing Bush. It’s like the Memphis Grizzlies trying not to suck and Maya Rudolph trying to convince people that she’s black- give it up because it’s just not going to work. It took the audience, like me, a few minutes to get the joke but once they did it was smooth sailing and this turned out to be a pretty funny skit. Parnell had some funny material to work with and his Bush impression didn’t weigh it down. Once the skit picked up- it kept a nice funny pace. ***

 

Monologue

Cast- Ashton Kutcher, Maya Rudolph, Parnell

Thoughts- Well that’s something I didn’t need to see. In dress Ashton’s inner monologue covered up whatever he was saying. I think he was mumbling gibberish or something because I couldn’t pick anything out. This was very funny and even included a Kattan gay joke. Parnell was very funny here, Maya did her best not to bring it down and Ashton was great. I mean he has one great co- I mean sense of humour. He has a great sense of humour. ****1/4

 

Jarrett’s Room

Cast- Kutcher, Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz, Richards, Seth Meyers

Thoughts- Those of you thought they wouldn’t do Jarrett’s Room please raise your hand. I thought so. This was better then the usual Jarrett’s Room. Even though I don’t find Jarrett Room’s to be that funny- the crowd LOVES it and SNL should continue doing them. And I am STILL hoping that Jeff Jarrett comes out and El Kabongs Jimmy. Ashton was really funny here and I thought the 9.11 joke was GOLD. I don’t think SNL should be doing them just cause the crowd really doesn’t feel like laughing at them. I still like the fact that SNL is willing to take some risks and live on the edge. Seth Meyers continues to completely own Jarrett’s Room. Remember how bad Jarrett’s Room was when he wasn’t there? Not that it’s much improved but Seth can do a great job of hiding the weaknesses. All the teeny girls can go OMG JIMMY FALOON IS SO C00TE!!1 and because of Seth providing the hilarity- they don’t realise that Jarrett’s Room kinda sucks. The stuff with Gobe pooping out the bong kind of lost me at the end but the stuff with Ashton at the beginning was great stuff. ***1/4

 

Interview with Madonna

Cast- Amy Poehler, Meyers

Thoughts- SETH AND AMY IN A SKIT!~ I believe this is the first time that Seth and Amy have interacted on the air via doing impressions, Seth’s impression of Matt Lauer was the usual coolness. Amy’s Madonna impression was hit and miss. She didn’t seem to get a lot of good lines in and it suffered as a result. She did get the voice down and the part where she was playing the guitar was some good stuff. I hope that if they do another Madonna impression that Amy has a lot of great lines to work with since it a great skit could result. **3/4

 

Plagiarism in Parnell’s classroom

Cast- Kutcher, Parnell, Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Meyers

Thoughts- I expected this skit to get cut and was pleasantly surprised that it got left into the live show. As some who has discovered the joys of SparkNotes, I can sympathise with these kids who were plagiarising. This skit was meandering along the okay side of things and had some good lines- especially Amy’s ‘because you like to be proven wrong’ quip. The bit with who else, Seth Meyers, helped to make the skit work. The part where Parnell phoned Seth’s office was hilarious and got the skit on the air. Great work by Seth, Parny and Amy here. ***1/4

 

50 Cent

Thoughts- I’m glad SNL is giving Dean Edwards some airtime by letting him be the musical guest. Too bad he wasn’t any good. He should just stick to what he’s best at- standing in the background and nodding. DUD

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Tina Fey, Fallon, Rudolph, Kattan, Morgan, Fred Armisen, Will Forte

Thoughts- If you would like to know what didn’t make the cut- go to fallonfey.com. I took down every cut joke. Aside from seeing the cut jokes from this show- you can also realise the greatness that is the cut Arquette joke. Update was rocking back and forth. Tina’s Tommy Lee joke was GOLD and I enjoyed their bits on W. and SARS. Tracy Morgan’s bit was great- it’s kind of funny that after 6 years on the show he’s best character role ended up being himself. The Liza and Gest bit was hit and miss. It had some funny lines and Kattan’s facials as Gest are really funny. Will Forte, like Seth Meyers, seems to have found his niche on Update. Well he’s also funny when he’s getting his ass kicked but since Forte is a nice guy- I don’t want him to have to be the next Mick Foley and succeed that way. Fred and Will’s bit is just so amazingly stupid that it ends up being hilarious. I’m surprised SNL put them on the air. I have been really impressed with both Fred and Will this year. Lorne has had an excellent track record of hiring people these last two years. Seth and Amy have proven to be fantastic pickups and Fred and Will both show a lot of promise. Nothing against Dean and Jeff but they’re never used. Once again- the jokes were really good, Tracy was great, Armisen and Forte rocked the house and Maya and CK were the only ones to bring it down a bit. ***3/4

 

The Falconer

Cast- Kutcher, Forte

Thoughts- This is why I’m not prepared to call Will Forte’s hiring a success because well the Falconer kind of blows. This was the best instalment of it yet. However that’s kind of like saying that was the best experience you’ve ever had being raped. Kudos to the prop guys for being able to move so fast. I really liked how they didn’t just focus on the actual Falconer but they let themselves have a little fun with it for once and in the end you got something that didn’t suck. I could see the Jenga ending coming a mile away and in the end- the character just wasn’t that funny. It seemed like the earlier Falconers were written to amuse Will Forte and didn’t really make sense or please the crowd. This one thought outside the box though and ended up being pretty decent. Even though I know Will Forte finds these hilarious- he should try to tweak the weirdness and offbeat nature of the Falconer and try to turn it into a crowd pleaser. I like offbeat humour as much as anyone but sometimes becoming Calamity Square will make things better in the end. *1/2

 

Dean meets Lorne

Cast- Lorne Michaels, Kutcher, Moragan, Edwards

Thoughts- Dean Edwards after this skit, “So THAT’S what Lorne Michaels looks like. The Tracy meets the celebrity stuff is hilarious and another thing that is hilarious is when Tracy says the word hilarious. I really wish they hadn’t changed one of the jokes at the beginning but other then that this was really funny and Lorne Michaels speaking Dean-speak is a highlight that is engrained in my memory. Good to see Dean and Lorne actually interact. Can you imagine when Dean got hired?

 

Lorne: You’re hired. Dean: Fo shizzle that nizzle de-awg!

 

****

 

Politics Today

Cast- Kutcher, Poehler, Morgan, Hammond, Rudolph, Armisen

Thoughts- In dress rehearsal- Darrell’s character had subtitles. Darrell also broke character. I guess he finds the fact that he wasn’t doing an impression hilarious. This was pretty funny- they had a lot of really good lines to work with. Maya really brought the skit down- it was going along really well but sadly- Maya had to ruin the greatness. Still- good stuff here. ***1/4

 

Doo Wop

Cast- Kutcher, Morgan, Fallon, Kattan, Armisen, Forte

Thoughts- The awesomeness of Seth gets left out. This stays in. Some world. Will was trying to get laughs with the screaming act but like Toronto trying not to choke in Game 7- it just wasn’t meant to me. Fred had a couple of funny lines but the rest of this skit just dragged. Paula Pell wrote it. Maybe she wanted to punish people for making fun of her for being fat. ¾*

 

50 Cent

Thoughts- This musical performance was so bad that Bubba Sparxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx was at home watching it and he said “Wow- 50 Cent sucks.” DUD

 

Straight Talk

Cast- Parnell, Fallon, Kattan, Dratch, Rudolph, Meyers, Jim Downey

Thoughs- JAMES DOWNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went crazy for that. I was shocked this was Parnell's only appearance of the night. Maybe it was James Downey but I found myself loving this skit as Parnell just played off everyone really well. He always plays a great sleazebag and I mean that in the nicest way. ****

 

Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.85 making this a thumbs up show. Seth Meyers was terrific in this show and Ashton was a great host. If this show had a musical guest that didn’t suck it would’ve been much better. Every year they seem to put on a lot a good series of shows in the spring and this looks to be no exception. Good show here- worth the 23 hr wait.

 

 

And now my trip report-

 

SNL Trip Report:

 

 

When we last left me at the standby line- a dog had peed on my backpack, Amy Poehler sweated on me and well there’s no other thing involving a bodily fluid to complete the trilogy but it was a pretty crazy time.

 

Moving to Canada meant I couldn’t do standby until May. I anxiously looked forward to it and prayed Lorne Michaels would book ‘Who cares/Who is he again for the show. And he did: Ashton Kutcher/50 Cent.

 

I arrived at the standby line at 8:45 am- prepared to wait outside for 23 hours. Shortly after I saw my first celebrity. Caroline Rhea. I guess I used the term loosely there. Let’s edit that. Shortly after I saw a person who some people might recognise if they have no lives or have some pedophiliac obsession with Sabrina the Teenage Witch and no her from that. The problem with Caroline Rhea is that most of the stuff she has done is chick flickish so I can’t praise that and well:

 

Hey Caroline- I thought you rocked Hollywood Squares!

 

Well you don’t want to make the poor woman cry. I think looking in the mirror does that enough already. I decided to praise Man on the Moon and let her go on her away. Man- that studio where they taped Rosie/Rhea must have some sturdy chairs.

 

Ashton Kutcher came in real early and was very nice. I don’t know of this show Punked people are talking about so I was shocked people actually ya’ know- cared about him,

 

Soon after that I saw my first SNL castmember of the day. Maya Rudolph. Please hold your applause- I most certainly did. Then I saw Chris Kattan.

 

Wow- this standby is great eh? You get to meet your least favourite castmembers.

 

A trip to Subway meant a meeting with Chris Parnell (I wonder if he likes Clay Henry or Jarred) more. Sadly he doesn’t know my name anymore but considering he hasn’t really seen me in a long time- I cant say I was too upset.

 

I then had a standby experience that I never had had in my two years of standby- rain. We do standby outside so when it rains it kind of sucks. Since I think umbrellas, ponchos and the like are wussy material- I got wet. It didn’t help that people would shake their umbrellas on me.

 

Wanting to seek shelter from the storm I walked in and met Will Forte for the first time. Will is an extremely nice guy. He shakes everyone hand and is willing to talk for a while. I told him I enjoyed Tim Calhoun and the skit where Jimmy beat the crap out of him. I then said he should do a skit where he gets revenge and punched my friend in the stomach to reinforce the point. I hope he got it.

 

By this time it was around six o’clock and well- and well my ability to meet cast members seemed to have faded. I had not yet anyone in the Holy Trilogy (Tina, Amy, Seth) and despite numerous close calls- I had not met Dean. Like the average fat person I decided to try and find solace at Ben and Jerry’s.

 

At the B-n-J’s I was about to order my ice crème when for the first time in 50 weeks- I see- AMY POEHLER!~ It had taken 50 weeks but I had finally seen Amy.

 

I’ll give the reader a minute here to collect themselves.

 

Despite holding tons of ice crème that had to be cold as ice Amy Poehler was not cold as ice towards me. She mentioned how my presence had been missed and “how it’s good to have me back.” Amy like me is a fellow Toronto Maple Leaf fan and was very nice enough to no bring up our loss to Philadelphia. My encounter with the awesome that is Amy Poehler was well worth the 50 week wait. As someone whose biggest accomplishment in the past year was choosing to move to a city that would end up spreading the SARS virus- meeting Amy was a major morale booster.

 

I then met the most famous widow of someone shot not named Jacqueline Onassis- that’s right- Yoko Ono. And she was a major bitch. Hey Yoko- when the only reason you’re famous is because someone misinterpreted Catcher in the Rye- you should be accommodating to the people who pretend to care about you. So yea- Yoko Ono did not sign for me.

 

Not letting Yoko get me down- I then met the mom in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and My Big Fat Greek Life- that’s right- I met some fat Greek woman who I did know the name of. Had she not had others around her I would’ve asked her what she thought of the portrayal of Greek people on Full House but alas- I did not feel like bothering her. I also met Mo’Nique- the host of Showtime at the Apollo and of the UPN sitcom The Parkers. I figured our convo would go like this:

 

Me: Ummmm hey Mo’Nique. I’m a big fan of the Parkers.

Mo’Nique: You’re a white boy.

Me: Okay- so I was lying.

 

But she actually believed that I had watched the Parkers.

 

After a failed attempt at finding a Barnes and Noble (I was going to buy a copy of Catcher in the Rye) I went back and saw Yoko Ono again. At least this time I got a hello.

 

The night progressed as the line had filled up. There were a lot of people from a Jimmy Fallon message board (Don’t worry- we actually got along), people from Seattle (they didn’t seem to understand that the Sonics suck) and this standby made history. For the first time ever- a black person actually did all night standby. Martin Luther King and Dean Edwards would be proud.

 

I went around to the 49th street side to wait for SNL cast members to come out. Fred Armisen came out and he must’ve had an ego boost as he got mobbed. I asked him if he was doing Ferecito and he said no. I said that was mal. Fred only signed his first name, I hope he becomes famous so 50 years later I don’t think I met Fred Willard or Fred Wilpon. Jimmy Fallon came out a little while later- I didn’t stop him for anything since he was getting mobbed and I already had an autograph and a picture.

 

In between Ferecito and Fallon- I met the man who couldn’t write a song if he tried- Sean “P Diddy” Combs. Apparently the guy broke up with Jennifer Lopez because he had a hot model on his arm. He did not shoot anybody. He wouldn’t sign on his way up but on his way down- I got P. Diddy’s autograph. He doesn’t sign Sean Combs- He just signs P Diddy. If he changes his name again- I’ll be screwed. As he left I told P. Diddy to ‘KEEP ON ROCKING!’

 

I saw Maya Rudolph come down and despite there being more people then there was at 10 am- the same amount of people cared. Jimmy was the last cast member that I saw. I waited a while for Seth Meyers but I didn’t see him- Probably too busy watching the hockey game. I had stopped waiting until 4 am to see Tina. Nothing against her- it’s just I had met her so many times that it was pointless waiting until 4:30 am and evading NBC Security to see her.

 

Finally at 7 am standby was over. It was 23 hours but it had gone by pretty quickly and I wasn’t really all that tired. I had spent all night making fun of every race and religion possible and had a kickass Amy experience- it was good stuff.. I had #2 for dress.

 

Now you’re probably thinking that I went home, got sleep and came back at 6:00 to see if I got in.

 

I came back to SNL at 11:00 am so I could catch some of the people I missed. I’m sorry but after a while you don’t even remember that you’re tired as hell. At 12:00 I finally saw Tina Fey. I asked her how the Update was coming, insulted the old lady from Titanic and got a picture with her. Now that may not seem like a big deal but I’ve met Tina Fey a lot of times and to have only one picture is pretty sad.

 

After Tina, I met- the man, the myth and the legend- a certain Mr. Dean Edwards. Dean had two white girls on his arm but unlike Yoko Ono Dean is always accommodating. I praised his performance as Cop #2 in the Phone Booth parody of a few weeks ago. Come on- he was THAT good.

 

Tina, Amy and Dean. One more quest remained and after a little of waiting and poor Ashton Kutcher- the third man of the Trilogy of Awesomeness arrived with Horatio Sanz. I brushed by Horatio (what am I gonna do? Praise Boat Trip?) and met Seth. I got to do something I had wanted to do two weeks.

 

Make fun of a Boston Bruins fan.

 

Seth tried to laugh it off but I knew my insulting of Team Suck was getting under his nerves. Not to be out dissed Seth went for a verbal TKO. Knowing I was a Leafs fan he said:

 

“You think just because your team played two more games that that makes them anymore special?”

 

I don’t like to be verbally beat but that was pretty darn impressive. I got an autograph for a girl who did standby but didn’t see Seth and then got a picture. But Seth was well worth the wait- I just hope the Nets beat up the Celtics so I can have the last laugh.

 

A couple more cast members walked by but yea- who cares? One of the problems with doing standby so many times is that the thrill is gone of meeting most of the cast members so waiting inside for them is not as exciting as it once was. I still mark out for seeing one of my favourites or seeing my first of the day- but it just isn’t as exciting as the time I did standby for Conan O’Brien.

 

I went back home for an afternoon of hockey (Go Canucks!) and then came back to SNL at 6:00 pm that day with my ticket in hand. I figured I had a good chance but just to be sure I had my Bible, copy of Dirty Work, Braves hat, Braves shirt and a pair of pants on.

 

After a little while of waiting- I found out that I had gotten in to dress rehearsal. I wasn’t as emotional as I was for Reese, BBT or Winona- but I’m always very happy whenever it happens.

 

You’ve waited for four pages- here’s

 

WHAT GOT CUT-

 

Hardball-

Tracy Morgan was Al Sharpton and Parnell played an economic advisor to Bush. It was a pretty disappointing Hardball- Parnell’s character bombed. Tracy did have some very funny lines. I’m glad they cut it. **1/2

 

American Justice

The usual from everyone’s favourite white trash couple. Ashton Kutcher played Amy’s brother who was trying to break his arm so he wouldn’t be drafted. The premise may sound funny but the skit didn’t have enough humour in it. Poor Dean got Chris’ cock in his face again, **

 

It didn’t get cut but here’s a noticeable line change. In live Ashton said he was sorry Tracy’s skit got cut. In dress Ashton said: I’m sorry your skit- Big Dick Black Guy got cut. Tracy’s response about trying it on Adrien Brody actually makes sense now doesn’t it?

 

Meet the Idol Parents

Amy Poehler bring Ashton Kutcher home to meet her parents. They turn out to be big American Idol fans. Parny and Dratch played the parents. Nothing much to see here.

 

Life at First Base

Seth Meyers plays a first baseman and Ashton is the guy who is on first base. Hilarity ensues. Seth was AWESOME here as he showed so many different emotional ranges and found a way to make me laugh at each line- no matter how stupid it may’ve been. Seth’s ‘scorned guy’ thing he occasionally does is mega-awesome. They also touched on fans running onto the field. I was very upset that this got cut- Seth was ON FIRE here and it’s a shame that the non Seth-a-holics couldn’t see it. ***3/4

 

FAO Schwartz

Parnell, Ashton and Fred play FAO workers who mock Bradd Pitt- until they meet him. Some of the disses were funny but this skit was nothing. ¾*

 

After delivering an autograph I went home having done standby for the first time in 50 wekes. I had a great time doing standby and I look forward to doing it 5 days later. I recommend doing standby- even if you don’t get in- it’s still a lot of fun just hanging out in NYC with a bunch of people who are just as crazy as you.

 

If you have any questions about standby you can email me (see the mailbag) or two standby experts who have seen more shows then I will ever hope to see at-

 

[email protected]

[email protected]

 

 

That’s it- I hope I will have more tales to tale next week.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Dean Edwards did something of note and I MISSED IT? Damn.

[Guest areacode212]

There's a Barnes & Noble, like...around the corner--right on 5th Avenue.

[Guest Mattdotcom]

What was the 9/11 joke? I was out...uh...not drinking.

[Guest bob_barron]

There's a Barnes & Noble, like...around the corner--right on 5th Avenue.

Yea I know- I finally found it at 4 am. Too bad I couldnt ambush Yoko

[Guest bob_barron]

What was the 9/11 joke? I was out...uh...not drinking.

Ashton said something like:

 

9.11 IS THE BEST!!!

 

and Jarrett said: Ummm you mean 7-11. 7-11. It was something like that

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Bob, I must call into doubt some of your ratings. I watched this SNL, and...I think "oof" is the best I can do. Seriously. Tracy Morgan was the only thing at all worth watching.

 

It must have come off way better live, because...oof.

[Guest bob_barron]

Yea- crowd noise can really make me enjoy a show a little more. It makes it easier to get into a show and laugh.

 

I think it will hold up on a rerun though

[Guest Youth N Asia]

I'll get back to you later. I had to get up at 3am Sunday, so I taped it. I'll watch it today.

[Guest EricMM]

No I'm sorry, I saw that episode, and both the Falconer, most of weekend update, and especially that damned 50's Ent bit were AWFUL.

 

That SARS song was the most useless 2 minutes ever.

 

Just not a funny show, IMO.

[Guest bob_barron]

Falconer usually sucks and it did tonight- They just actually tried to make it out and out funny.

 

50 Cent was insanely bad- I spent his whole performance making fun of him.

 

WU was much better in dress. Tina Fey uttered the word 'cock'.

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Cold Opening

Cast- Chris Parnell

-not bad, not great. You knew from the start that all the jokes wre going to be based on clapping, didn't do a lot for me, but I didn't hate it. **

 

Monologue

Cast- Ashton Kutcher, Maya Rudolph, Parnell

-Funny enough, I like Ashton's sense of humor for the most part. And anything that links Parnell to homosexuality is alright with me. ***

 

Jarrett’s Room

Cast- Kutcher, Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz, Richards, Seth Meyers

-Ashton was funny...everyone else wasn't. *

 

Interview with Madonna

Cast- Amy Poehler, Meyers

-You know a skits bad when their top joke is mocking someone's hair. And the age thing got less funny every time. DUD!

 

Plagiarism in Parnell’s classroom

Cast- Kutcher, Parnell, Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Meyers

-...Seth made a funny? Wowza, this is the first time I've laughed at Seth, Amy, and Chris all in the course of a show. I liked it, almost the same thing happened durring my senior year (to a lesser extent though). Best skit of the night. ****

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Tina Fey, Fallon, Rudolph, Kattan, Morgan, Fred Armisen, Will Forte

-WOW! They broke their "Keep Morgan and Hammond off the first 60 Minutes" rule with this one. Maybe Tracy snuck on. Jokes were average, Tracy was good. And all the little side bits were rancid. **

 

The Falconer

Cast- Kutcher, Forte

-The idea of a muskrat and falcon playing rock-em-rock-em robots should be enough to get a laugh out of me. But Forte isn't funny and neither was the skit. DUD!

 

Dean meets Lorne

Cast- Lorne Michaels, Kutcher, Moragan, Edwards

-Anyone else think Dean is too white to play a tough black guy? I hope that doesn't come off wrong, but that's what I get out of him. Tracy was great as usual and everyone else was alright ***

 

Politics Today

Cast- Kutcher, Poehler, Morgan, Hammond, Rudolph, Armisen

-ehh...I've seen worse. Tracy was funny. Too bad Hammond only gets one skit and it has to be a shitter.*

 

Doo Wop

Cast- Kutcher, Morgan, Fallon, Kattan, Armisen, Forte

-No one was funny in this. And the whole "Shut the F up" thing does work when you yell that before they sounds effects for the boos come in.[/b]DUD![/b]

 

Straight Talk

Cast- Parnell, Fallon, Kattan, Dratch, Rudolph, Meyers, Jim Downey

-Sorry, but I can't rate a skit that aired last year. How bad is the writing when you need to bring in something old as filler.

[Guest Slapnuts00]

This show was such a steaming piece of crap. It wasn't bad in a Tom Green way which is at least: "I want to see how bad this can get" or to use a wrestling example it was more like a really boring RAW. I was so bored I tuned out and was hardly watching at times.

Now Bob, being there must have been very exciting, and I've been to some bad RAWs live that seemed really good and fun because I was there but it doesnt hold up on TV at all...

 

Cold Opening

Cast- Chris Parnell

-Very weak opening. Parnell's Bush is seriously terrible. It ran on WAY TOO LONG and there was no hook. We get it they clap for going home! *

 

Monologue

Cast- Ashton Kutcher, Maya Rudolph, Parnell

-This is ridiculously bad. Ok, the joke of walking out in your underwear was ok but again it just went on like a run away train. Juvenille uncreative crap. 1/2*

 

Jarrett’s Room

Cast- Kutcher, Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz, Richards, Seth Meyers

-I usually like Jarret's Room all things considered but this wasn't funny. Jokes were totally uncreative and even Gobbi and his bong weren't good. Lots of gross and unnecesarry stuff here. DUD

 

Interview with Madonna

Cast- Amy Poehler, Meyers

-What the hell was the purpose of this? Only the cliched age joke got any time of laugh from me. DUD

 

Plagiarism in Parnell’s classroom

Cast- Kutcher, Parnell, Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Meyers

-Probably the sketch of the night. The joke was kinda cute although it was just all so obvious, its like they weren't even trying, with the exagerated high fives and all. They could have done much more. **

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Tina Fey, Fallon, Rudolph, Kattan, Morgan, Fred Armisen, Will Forte

-Very average update. The Liza/David thing has already been done and it wasnt any funnier this time. The SARS song was horrible, just horrible. Not the least bit funny. I HATE WILL FORTE!!!! FIRE HIS NO TALENTED UNFUNNY ASS!!! And take Fred Armissen with him, hes not much better. This might be the weakest cast they've ever had. *

 

The Falconer

Cast- Kutcher, Forte

-KILL THIS SKETCH! KILL FORTE!!! DIE YOU UNFUNNY PIECE OF SHIT FOR MAKING ME SIT THROUGH THIS CONVOLUTED STUPID CRAP EVERY WEEK!!!!!!! -*****

 

Dean meets Lorne

Cast- Lorne Michaels, Kutcher, Moragan, Edwards

-What ever happened to that other black guy they had? Not Tim Meadows he was another undercard guy and he disappeared. What is the purpose of Dean Edwards anyway? Again this cast is easily the weakest they've ever had. Yeah we get it Tracy is really black and Lorne does whatever he says our of fear. You've done it before, find something new for Morgan or fire him. 1/4*

 

Politics Today

Cast- Kutcher, Poehler, Morgan, Hammond, Rudolph, Armisen

-WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS!??! Are they that braindead for ideas? Jesus the writers for this show seriously rival those of WWE. Was this funny? Do I look amused? -*

 

Doo Wop

Cast- Kutcher, Morgan, Fallon, Kattan, Armisen, Forte

-Right. Thank You, Drive Through. No Forte YOU SHUT THE F UP! DUD

 

Straight Talk

Cast- Parnell, Fallon, Kattan, Dratch, Rudolph, Meyers, Jim Downey

-Hey look! The best sketch of the night in terms of cleverness and satire, you know, things SNL USED to be good at is A REPEAT OF A PREVIOUSLY AIRED SKETCH!?!?!? Jesus. Normally I'd give it ****, but since they aired it, its just a DUD.

 

Pathetic show, not worthy of anything. They need to cut the show down to 1 hour desperately. Their writers are so damn weak, they can not write for 90 minutes of material. The last 40 minutes or so of the show every week are pure death, they just never seem to end, dragging on and on boring the viewer into submission. Oh and fire practically the whole cast and start fresh. You can't get much worse than this...

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Damn...and I thought I was the ruthless one here

[Guest bob_barron]

Cold Opening

Cast- Chris Parnell

-not bad, not great. You knew from the start that all the jokes wre going to be based on clapping, didn't do a lot for me, but I didn't hate it. **

 

They should've established the joke much earlier in the skit so the crowd would be more into it as the show began.

 

Monologue

Cast- Ashton Kutcher, Maya Rudolph, Parnell

-Funny enough, I like Ashton's sense of humor for the most part. And anything that links Parnell to homosexuality is alright with me. ***

 

I prefer Kattan gay jokes myself

 

Jarrett’s Room

Cast- Kutcher, Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz, Richards, Seth Meyers

-Ashton was funny...everyone else wasn't. *

 

Maybe it was the fact that I was sitting in a row full of Jimmy fans but I thought this was one of the better editions of Jarrett's Room. Seth was his usual funny stuff, I enjoy the gags they do with Jeff Richards and they had a good guest host to play off of. It ran out of gas towards the end with the whole pooping the pot stuff.

 

Interview with Madonna

Cast- Amy Poehler, Meyers

-You know a skits bad when their top joke is mocking someone's hair. And the age thing got less funny every time. DUD!

 

I thought the Madonna impression was pretty good and I found the age and hair jokes to be pretty funny. It just needed a lot more humour in the Madonna-Matt interview.

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Tina Fey, Fallon, Rudolph, Kattan, Morgan, Fred Armisen, Will Forte

-WOW! They broke their "Keep Morgan and Hammond off the first 60 Minutes" rule with this one. Maybe Tracy snuck on. Jokes were average, Tracy was good. And all the little side bits were rancid. **

 

Well they did do a Hardball with Tracy and Hammond but it got the axe. Good thing too since it was a below average Hardball. They cut a couple of good jokes even though I thought it was a really good Update.

 

The Falconer

Cast- Kutcher, Forte

-The idea of a muskrat and falcon playing rock-em-rock-em robots should be enough to get a laugh out of me. But Forte isn't funny and neither was the skit. DUD!

 

I laughed at some of the games they played and the part where they repeated the story of the Falconer. But for the most part it was the usual Falconer drek.

 

Politics Today

Cast- Kutcher, Poehler, Morgan, Hammond, Rudolph, Armisen

-ehh...I've seen worse. Tracy was funny. Too bad Hammond only gets one skit and it has to be a shitter.*

 

I think Hammond's personal problem are the reason for his decreased airtime. This was really funny but the skit died once it got to Maya.

 

Straight Talk

Cast- Parnell, Fallon, Kattan, Dratch, Rudolph, Meyers, Jim Downey

-Sorry, but I can't rate a skit that aired last year. How bad is the writing when you need to bring in something old as filler.

 

It's not the writing teams fault. It's more of a timing issue. They only have a certain amount of airtime left and all the skits they have don't fit into the alloted time but if they show an old commercial then they can get all their timing correct. So it's not the writing team- it's more of a timing issue.