Guest Tod deKindes Report post Posted May 14, 2003 Sometimes, we just like to sit back and think 'What if?' ... --- It's a beautiful spring night in Chicago, as the WWE crews are unloading equipment into the United Center. While the roster is busy settling into the arena, RAW co-GM Eric Bischoff is pacing around in a hallway, with a cellphone stuck to his ear ... Eric: ... Oh yeah? Well lemme tell you this. If Stephanie thinks SHE can put on a good show with wrestlers from other organizations, I can do even better! I'll get this Toad daKinder guy, I'll book him on RAW and I'll make him look good! And if that can impress Linda McMahon, then maybe I can convince her that I can run this show on my own. Lord knows what that bald-headed SOB could have in mind for tonight. I mean, it's a live show, for cryin' out loud! What he didn't know, was that the bald-headed SOB was right behind him, listening to every word. Eric: You think I want another beer bash?! He's got us way over budget ever since he got this job! That man is an embarrassment! (turning around) All right, listen ... --- Stone Cold Steve Austin: ... (yanking the phone away) Jackass'll call ya back. (snaps phone shut) Eric: Wh-- ... that was a very important caller! Austin: Ahhh, listen! What's this I hear about you hirin' a wrestler for a tryout match tonight? Eric: Um, yeah. Stephanie had him on last week. And now I wanna get him an even bigger match on RAW. Austin: Already signed him. Eric: What? Austin: I said I already signed him. Eric: And you didn't consult me?! Austin: Do you not want him on RAW or not? Eric: Well, yeah. But you can't just give him any match you want, we got 20 other wrestlers to keep happy back there! Austin: Ah. Ol' Stone Cold's got it all covered. He's on his way. Eric: He's on his way? Austin: He's on his way. Eric: (sighing) All right ... Fine. The cellphone's ringing interrupted things. Eric: That's for me. Give it. Austin: (answering) Who the hell is this? ...... Yeah, and what the hell do you want? ... (walking away) Eric: What the? Steve, gimme my phone! ... Steve!! ... (chases after him) Meanwhile, over to a backstage entrance, a set of doors open to reveal: Tod deKindes. He takes a moment to survey the surroudings and makes his way in, nodding off to a few crewmembers. He's then greeted by a being, wearing a bit too much paint. Tod: Hey, how's it going. Whoa! ... What the hell is that on your face? Jeff Hardy: Be not scared! ... Oh stranger. Because I ... wear the markings of the Imagi warrior and INDEED! ... will I triumph again. Because in the Imagi-Nation ... there IS no such thing as defeat for those who TAKE IT ...... 2 the x-treme. Tod: ...... Um, what? Jeff: What's up, I'm Jeff Hardy. Tod: Weren't you fired a couple weeks ago? Jeff: Seriously, what IS! ... Fired. The Imagi-Nation has no SUCH THING! ... as being fired. Only to be let free. Release yourself. Be you. Be what you do. Tod: Rejected by Trish Stratus, huh? Jeff: Girls are YUCKIE! ... in the Imagi-Nation. Tod: ... Um, right. I'm gonna get far away from you now. Jeff: Do ... as you WISH! For we are all ... in our world. In our nation. In our own ... Imagi-Nation. Tod: Oh boy ... He continued walking, leaving Jeff alone to admire his reflection in a mirror. He ran into Al Snow, taping up his wrists and lacing up his boots, getting ready for a pre-match warmup in the ring. Tod stopped to introduce himself. Tod: Hey Al. I just got here. Do I report to Eric Bischoff or Steve Austin? Al: Depends. Whichever finds you first. But word is that Eric desperately needs someone to make Three Minute Warning look good tonight. Tod: (shudders) ... Al: But if Austin books you, you're looking at a decent five-minute match where you go over Christian. Tod: Hell, who hasn't gone over Christian? Al: My point exactly! I gotta run ... As Tod kept on walking, he noticed something odd going on between D-Von and Bubba Ray Dudley, as they shoved each other back in forth. Probably psyching themselves up, he thought. Bubba: D-Von! D-Von: What! Bubba: D-Von!! D-Von: What!! Bubba: D-VON!! D-Von: Git yer own damn tables!! Bubba: D-Vo--.. wait, man, that's not how it goes. D-Von: Right. My bad. I always say things that been boiling down inside whenever I get confused. Bubba: Right. D-Von: You racist persecuting pig. Bubba: What? D-Von: Nothing. (grins) Several hallways later, he ran into Chris Jericho who seemed to be doing maintenance work on Lance Storm, who stood absolutely immobile. Jericho: Hey hey, Tod deKindes, what's up. Big fan, HUGE fan of yours. Tod: Really? You follow the SWF? Jericho: The whatnow? Naw, I'm just being nice. Tod: What's with him? Jericho: Oh, just injecting a little speed into Lance here so he can job to Kane tonight. The man is usually dull as SAND. Considering he's against Kane, gotta make the match somewhat good, no? Tod: I guess. Who do you have tonight? Jericho: Oh, I'm with Triple H against Kevin Nash and The Hurricane. Silly Bischoff ... Tod: I need to find Stone Cold, ASAP. I sure as hell don't wanna get squashed by Jamal OR Rosey. Jericho: Well, good luck Junior. The GM's office should be nearby. Tod: Yeah, thanks ... And off he goes once again, on the hunt for either Steve Austin or Eric Bischoff; but hoping that it'll be Austin ... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest 5_moves_of_doom Report post Posted May 14, 2003 Jeff Hardy rules. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted May 14, 2003 (Y) I love it already. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hhh6294 Report post Posted May 15, 2003 Ownage. Just... plain... Ownage. Bows humbly to Tod Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
janusd 0 Report post Posted May 15, 2003 Jeff Hardy: Be not scared! ... Oh stranger. Because I ... wear the markings of the Imagi warrior and INDEED! ... will I triumph again. Because in the Imagi-Nation ... there IS no such thing as defeat for those who TAKE IT ...... 2 the x-treme. Tod: ...... Um, what? Jeff: What's up, I'm Jeff Hardy. Tod: Weren't you fired a couple weeks ago? Jeff: Seriously, what IS! ... Fired. The Imagi-Nation has no SUCH THING! ... as being fired. Only to be let free. Release yourself. Be you. Be what you do. Tod: Rejected by Trish Stratus, huh? Jeff: Girls are YUCKIE! ... in the Imagi-Nation. Tod: ... Um, right. I'm gonna get far away from you now. Jeff: Do ... as you WISH! For we are all ... in our world. In our nation. In our own ... Imagi-Nation. Tod: Oh boy ... He continued walking, leaving Jeff alone to admire his reflection in a mirror ....I laugh... ....very hard... XD GIVE US MORE! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Crowe Report post Posted May 16, 2003 Al Snow = \m/ \m/ \m/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CED Ordonez Report post Posted May 16, 2003 Tod hurts the inside of my allergy-suffering lungs with the humor. Rock on Tod, rock on. I patiently await round 2 where Tod visits the one Raw superstar everybody wants to see him interact with: Rosie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
