Guest Cover of Darkness Report post Posted May 17, 2003 What's the best one-liner/glib remark/pithy comeback/joke in a movie? Some of my favorites: "I'm afraid you've caught me with more then my hands up." ------------------------ "I'm Plenty." "But of course you are." "Plenty O'Toole." "Named after your father, perhaps?" - Sean Connery in Diamonds Are Forever ------------------------------------- "I'm a Derek. Dereks don't run." - Time Bandits ------------------------------------- "Yo. She-bitch. Let's go." - Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness -------------------------------------- "If you guys are us, then what number are we thinking of right now?" "SIXTY NINE, DUDE!" - Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Choken One Report post Posted May 17, 2003 The only one that matters... "I Do love the smell of Napalm in the morning" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MaxPower27 Report post Posted May 17, 2003 [During a proctological exam.] Fletch: Using the whole fist, Doc? Pathologist: Ever seen a spleen that large? Fletch: No, not since breakfast. [Fletch is being framed for drug possession by two very large cops] Fletch: Aren't you gonna read me my rights? Cop: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped on by him. Fletch: I think I'll waive my rights. [After Fletch gets kicked in the crotch] Gummy: Fletch! Are you all right?! Fletch: Oh, yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars. AIRPLANE: [As the plane prepares to take off.] Hanging Lady: Nervous? Ted Striker: Yes. Hanging Lady: First time? Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue! Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious. Rumack: Yes I am serious...and don't call me Shirley. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Cover of Darkness Report post Posted May 17, 2003 (Bond impales a spy with a harpoon gun.) "I think he got the point." (Wint and Kidd knock out Bond, put him in a casket, and put it on a conveyer belt towards a flaming crematorium chamber.) W: "Very... moving, Mr. Kidd" K: "A glowing tribute, Mr. Wint." W: "Heartwarming." (Bond during a fight in the cargo bay of a C-150 with Necros, cuts the laces of his shoe when Necros grabs onto it to send him into oblivion.) Kara: "What happened?" Bond: "He got the boot." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest eiker_ir Report post Posted May 17, 2003 (edited) - '' 37!, my girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!'' - '' in a row? '' Clerks '' shop smart. shop S-Mart......YOU GOT THAT?!?!!!!?!' ' Ash, AOD Edited May 18, 2003 by eiker_ir Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest eiker_ir Report post Posted May 17, 2003 *double post Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Marshall Report post Posted May 17, 2003 'Some motherfuckers allways gotta be iceskating uphill' Awesome! Greatest line ever written. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest WrestlingDeacon Report post Posted May 17, 2003 I can't believe you left out my favorite line from Fletch. "Can I get you anything sir?" "Sure, I'll have a bloody mary, a steak sandwich and...uh...a steak sandwich." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lord of The Curry Report post Posted May 17, 2003 The only one that matters... "I Do love the smell of Napalm in the morning" Remove the "do" there, amigo. Col. Kurtz's line was "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." My faves: " Hansel. So hot right now. Hansel." " I'll trace a chalk line around your dead fuckin' body you fuck!" " Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 17, 2003 "I want 500 dollers." 'You want 500 dolla?" "Yes, I want 500 dolla." "500 DOLLA?!" "500 DOLLA!" "500 DOLLA?!" "500 DOLLA!" From the classic Bubble Boy...what? Am I the only one here? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest DawnBTVS Report post Posted May 17, 2003 "I want to Fuck" "And I don't" -Cruel Intentions scene b/w Katherine and Sebastian "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist" -The Usual Suspects from Kevin "GOD" Spacey Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest IDrinkRatsMilk Report post Posted May 17, 2003 "Back off man. I'm a scientist." - Bill Murray in Ghostbusters "I collect spores, molds and fungus." - Harold Ramis in Ghostbusters Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CoreyLazarus416 Report post Posted May 17, 2003 IDRM, man, if I were to quote all of the awesome one-liners in Ghostbusters (face it, the entire movie was witty one-liners that subtley made complete and utter sense with one another), I'd have to post the entire script. But, for now... "That's a big Twinkie." - Winston Zeddemoore (Ernie Hudson), upon hearing Egon's "Twinkie Theory." And how could you forget these two classics, you schmucks! Army Of Darkness "This...is my BOOMSTICK!" They Live! "I have come to kick ass and to chew bubble gum...and I am all out of bubble gum." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 18, 2003 DANTE: "My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!" CUSTOMER: "In a row?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RavishingRickRudo Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "Well, isn't that true?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest treble charged Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "I made a funny!" -Splinter Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest eiker_ir Report post Posted May 18, 2003 '' Welcome to prime-time, BITCH~!!'' and everytime Freddy added 'BITCH~!!' at the end of a sentence... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest razazteca Report post Posted May 18, 2003 Joker Where does he got those wonderful toys? - Batman Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Amazing Rando Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "You are such a fuckass" - Donnie Darko (i could name so many more from that movie) "Eastman...he came from the east to do battle with THE AMAZING RANDOOOOOOOO~!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "Hello, Mr. Anderson." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "Go suck a fuck!" "Tell me exactly, how does one actually suck a fuck!?" -Donnie Darko Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yuna_Firerose 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2003 Silence of the Lambs: Dr. Lecter: You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars...while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI. Dr. Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Dr. Lecter: Do you think Crawford wants you, sexually? True, he's much older, but - do you think he visualizes... scenarios, exchanges...? Fucking you? Clarice: That doesn't interest me, Doctor. And it's the sort of thing Miggs would say. Dr. Lecter: Not anymore. Clarice: I brought you your drawings, Doctor. Just until you get your view. Dr. Lecter: How very thoughtful. Or did Jack Crawford send you in for one last wheedle before you're both booted off the case? Clarice: No, I came because I wanted to. Dr. Lecter: People will say we're in love. Hannibal: Krendler: Jesus, Starling, what are you doing sitting in the dark? Clarice: Thinking about cannibalism. Dr. Lecter: I must confess to you, I'm giving very serious thought... to eating your wife. Verger: So, what do you think? Does Lecter want to fuck her or kill her or eat her, or what? Cordell Doemling: Probably all three, although I wouldn't want to predict in what order. Dr. Lecter: Tell me Clarice, would you ever say to me, "Stop.. If you loved me you'd stop." Clarice: Not in a thousand years. Red Dragon: Hannibal Lecter: Don't move. You're in shock now. I don't want you to feel any pain. In a moment, you'll begin to be lightheaded, then drowsy. Don't resist. It's so gentle; like slipping into a warm bath. I regret it came to this, Will, but every game must have it's ending. Remarkable boy. I do admire your courage. I think I'll eat your heart. Will Graham: I thought you might enjoy the challenge. Find out if your smarter than the person I'm looking for. Hannibal Lecter: Then by implication you think you're smarter than I am, since it was you who caught me. Will Graham: No I know I'm not smarter than you. Hannibal Lecter: Then how did you catch me? Will Graham: You had disadvantages. Hannibal Lecter: What disadvantages? Will Graham: You're insane. Hannibal Lecter: You stink of fear and that cheap lotion. You stink of fear Will but you're not a coward. You fear me but still you came here. You fear this shy boy, yet still you seek him out. Don't you understand Will you caught me because we're very much alike. Without our imaginations we'd be like all those other poor dullards. Fear is the price of our instrument, but I can help you bear it. Death to Smoochy: Randolph: I'm Rainbow FUCKING Randolph! Sheldon: When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. Sheldon: If you need me, I'll be in my office. It's the big one with the view. Nora: All of them have views, ya dumb shit! Sheldon: Not looking this way, cupcake! (Randolph calling Sheldon)You better grow eyes in the back of your head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I'm goin' on safari motherfucker! SAH-FAR-I![rhino noise] Randolph: Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest razazteca Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "Hello, Mr. Anderson." "Whoa!" -Neo Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "We're Sonic Fucking Deathmonkey!" -High Fidelity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest TonyJaymzV1 Report post Posted May 18, 2003 dude you forgot the best qoute from Death to Smoochy Randolph: Its a COCK! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "They're dead, they're...all messed up." -Night of the Living Dead...the guy who played a cop improved that line. "Daddy would of gotten us uzis" -The Night of the Comet Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vyce Report post Posted May 18, 2003 You people quoting Army of Darkness can't half-ass it - you have to give us the whole quote! "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. You see this? This....is my BOOMSTICK! It's a 12 guage double-barreled Remington: S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a 109.95....it's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel - and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart - shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!?!?!" Also from that movie: Henry the Red: You sir, are not one of my vassals. Who are you? Ash: Who wants to know? Henry: I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples. Ash: Well, hello Mr. Fancypants! I got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and shit. And Jack left town. Evil Ash: You're good Ash....and I'm Bad Ash! *Ash shoots Evil Ash* Ash: Good, bad.....I'm the guy with the gun. Ash, to Deadite Woman: Ma'am, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted May 18, 2003 My favorite Army of Darkness line "You loved me once before, Ash." "Honey, you got real ugly." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CoreyLazarus416 Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "It got into my hand and went...bad." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Amazing Rando Report post Posted May 18, 2003 "We're Sonic Fucking Deathmonkey!" -High Fidelity "do we listen to pop music because we are depressed...or are we depressed because we listen to pop music?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
