SJL Crimson - May 22nd, 2003!

May 23, 2003

The lights in the Tokyo Dome dim, as a single beam falls at the centre of the ring. Funyon stands, impeccibly dressed as always, as a heavly accented voice rings out over the PA, "Radies and Gentlemen. Preese rise for national anthema." The Japanese crowd's chatter dies out as they find their seats, and... a poppy-sounding fanfare rings out over the stereo. Funyon begins to sing, trying not to mess up a foreign language...

"Hikisaita yami ga hoe furueru teito ni

Ai no uta takaraka ni odorideru senshi-tachi

Kokoro made koutetsu ni busou suru otome

Aku wo kechirashite seigi wo shimesu no da

Hashire Kousoku no Teikoku Kageki-Dan

Unare Shougeki no Teikoku Kageki-Dan

Machi no hi ga kiehatete obieru teito ni

Niji no iro someagete odorideru senshi-tachi

Akatsuki ni gekijou wo terashidasu otome

Aku wo horoboshite seigi wo shimesu no da

Hashire Kousoku no Teikoku Kageki-Dan

Unare Shougeki no Teikoku Kageki-Dan

Hashire Kousoku no Teikoku Kageki-Dan

Unare Shougeki no Teikoku Kageki-Dan!"

The crowd gives respectful applause for Funyon's rendition of "Geki! Tekoku Kagekidan," a 'national anthem' designed specifically to annoy Janus! Mua'haha! I'm such a bastard. Funyon hops out of the ring, as...

May 23, 2003

The lights in the Tokyo Dome slowly fade to black as the crowd begins to cheer in anticipation. The lights flash like strobes as the SJL Opening montage plays over the SmarkTron, showing such esteemed former JL stars like Atlas and Dace Night, and newer, up-and-coming stars like John Duran and Charlie “Grappler” Matthews. The montage ends with the SJL Logo flashing across the screen. Finally, all the lights in the entire arena go out and the stage begins exploding with a ferocious volley of pyrotechnics. Axis is sitting in the announcer’s booth covering his ears as Suicide King holds a marshmallow on a metal pole towards the stage.

.:Funyon:.

Ladies and gentleman… WELCOME… TO ESS…JAY…ELL… CRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMSON!

The crowd roars wildly as the house cameras shift over to the announce team of Axis and the Suicide King.

.:Axis:.

Man, we have a great show out there for our loyal fans tonight!

.:Suicide King:.

That’s right! We have Leo Breslin vs. the incomparable Charlie “Grappler” Matthews for the TV title, a “Pick-a-partner Tag Team Double #1 Contendership match featuring Va'aiga & a partner of his choice vs. Manson & a partner of HIS choice! And our main event? Right down my alley: A WORLD TITLE VODKA SHOT MATCH where we’ll see Crow defend his SJL World Championship against the russian Viktor Tarakanov! It’s gonna be explosive!

.:Axis:.

Well, as we get started with our first bout, I’d just like to say that- what in the hell?

As Axis is talking, “Dragula” by Rob Zombie begins playing over the SmarkTron. A figure, dressed all in black, slowly walks onto the stage as the lights go out and the arena is enveloped in total and complete darkness, save for the black light that has just been shined onto the individual stationed on the stage.

.:Suicide King:.

Is… is that who I think it is!?

.:Axis:.

That’s… THAT’S DAVID BLAZENWING!!! But who is that there with him?

Blazenwing’s look has completely changed. His once long, blonde hair has been cut short, spiked, and dyed jet black. His green outfit has been completely altered and is now colored black as well. The dark Blazenwing and his gothic female valet slowly approach the ring as the lights in the arena begin a strobe effect. Blazenwing slides into the ring and then holds the rope down for his valet to climb through. As Blazenwing stands silently in the center of the ring, his valet motions for a mic and gets one tossed to her.

.:Valet:.

If you’re wondering who we are, let me tell you. My name is Jen… and I am this man’s girlfriend and manager! As for the guy behind me… his name is Blazenwing! Tell me, Blazenwing, how does it feel to be back in the SJL with a new look and a new attitude?

Jen puts the mic next to Blazenwing’s mouth.

.:Blazenwing:.

…………………………………………

.:Jen:.

I fell the same way, hun. So, what do you plan on doing upon your return?

.:Blazenwing:.

………………………………………………

.:Jen:.

My boyfriend suffers from a disease… the disease of pain! The only way to relieve that pain is for him to destroy everything in sight! Blazenwing… show them how it’s done!

Jen rolls out of the ring and reaches underneath the ring, picking up a bag stauufed underneath and tossing it back into the ring. Blazenwing reaches down and opens it up, revealing it to be a life-size stuffed dummy with no facial features… or any other features at all.

.:Jen:.

See this? No effect, right?

Jen reaches into the bag and retrieves a headshot of the current SJL World Champion, Crow. Jen pulls out a pin and pins the picture to the head of the dummy.

.:Jen:.

Now watch… THIS is what will happen to everyone who gets in our way… but our first target is the SJL WORLD CHAMPION CROW!!!

Jen holds the poor Crow effigy in her hands, then tosses it up into the air. Upon it falling back to the center of the ring, Blazenwing springs forward like a panther and spears it hard, tearing the mock-up Crow in half.

.:Axis:.

BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! WHAT A SICKENING FORCE!

.:Suicide King:.

That CAN’T be David Blazenwing… he was NEVER that strong!

.:Jen:.

That… is called the Mid-Nitro! The ultimate in attack power! But that’s not all! Show him what else you got, baby!

Blazenwing reaches down and picks up the top half of the dummy, then heaves it up and lowers it to the mat in a stalling brainbuster pin… almost like a jackhammer!

.:Jen:.

And that… is the Veil of Darkness! So… Crow! We’re calling you out! If you think you can take on the combined forces of Blazenwing and his manager, Jen… BRING IT ON! WE’LL TAKE YOU OUT!

.:Axis:.

Bah Gawd… do you think Crow will accept Blazenwing’s challenge for a World title shot?

.:Suicide King:.

Well, Crow has to beat Tarakanov first… but even then, I’m not sure! Crow has many challengers… besides, what has Blazenwing done to garner a title shot anyhow?

.:Axis:.

Well, look at him! Do YOU want to be the one to tell him he won’t get a title shot?

.:Suicide King:.

Well… you can tell him.

.:Axis:.

That’s what I thought. Anyhow, we’re going to a commercial break, and when we come back, we’ll have more great SJL action from the Tokyo Dome in Tokyo, Japan! Bah Gawd!

(Fade to commercial)

May 23, 2003

Card:

NEWBIE TRIPLE THREAT MATCH

Cassius Atkinson vs. Scott Solomon vs Dan "The Phoenix" Caldwell

Description: We've got two new wrestlers on the SJL roster this week. And one other guy! Let's see how they do here as they take each other on in our Crimson opener! I copied this text from the Wrath card!

Rules: Triple Threat Rules; match is over when one man scores a fall over another man. Countout and DQ in effect.

Word Limit: 3500

Send To: WrestlingDeacon

NOT-QUITE NEWBIE MATCH

Syndicate vs. Jimmy "The Demon" Liston

Description: We've got two not-so-new wrestlers on the SJL roster this week, because Syndicate returned, and Liston already had a match. Let's see how they do here as they take each other on in our Wrath second match! Boy, I wish I were masturbating right now.

Rules: Standard.

Word Limit: 3500

Send To: Tod deKindes

TV TITLE LADDER MATCH

Charlie "Grappler" Matthews © vs. Leo Breslin

Description: How many times have these two fought? Many a time... but how about one more? This will be the last match between these two for some time... so why not make it a ladder match? These two have animosity built up between each other, the animosity that comes only through battle. Breslin has a neck injury as a result of these many battles, but will he be able to overcome it?

Rules: Standard ladder match, there will be ladders under the ring, as well as one set up on. the entry ramp.

Word Limit: 4500

Send To: realitycheck

PICK-A-PARTNER TAG TEAM DOUBLE #1 Contendership match

Va'aiga & Partner of Choice vs Manson & Partner of Choice

Description: Va'aiga and Manson battle for World contendership... but since I am a genius, I have invented a twist! Each man must pick a tag team partner from the active roster (Please do this ASAP so you can start writing). If Va'aiga or Manson win, that person becomes #1 contender to the World Title. On top of that, his partner will receive #2 Contendership to Tarakanov's European Title, after Aecas gets his shot on the next show! What a deal! That is, unless you choose Aecas to be your partner. And if Aecas is on the winning team, he just might get an advantage going into his title match...

b]Rules:[/b] Standard Tag Team match.

Word Limit: 5000

Send To: 5_moves_of_doom

WORLD TITLE VODKA SHOT MATCH

Crow© vs Viktor Tarakanov

Description: Viktor Tarakanov earned his shot in a tough 3 way match... and now he faces the World Champion... with a twist! Every 90 seconds in the match, each wrestler must stop to do a shot of vodka. This match won't just be a test of strength, but of fortitude as well! Will the Russian have the advantage with his native beverage? Or will Crow, that fucking alcoholic, reign supreme?

Rules: See match description. No DQ, no countout. Win via pin, submission, or knockout.

Word Limit: 6000

Send To: Thoth

May 23, 2003

Axis: Welcome back to Crimson with Axis and Suicide King at ringside as we get ready for our first match. Tonight we have two newcomers to SJL as well as a young up-and-comer who made his debut on Wrath just days ago.

King: Yeah, real exciting. Wake me up when its over.

Red lights flare to life as "Guerrilla Radio" begins to play. Dan "The Phoenix" Caldwell heads to the ring in a black robe.

FUNYON: The following Triple Threat matchup is scheduled for one fall. Now making his way to the ring, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 250 lbs., Dan "THE PHOENIX" Caldwell!!!

In the ring, Phoenix takes off his robe, and begins bouncing up and down in the corner while punching himself in the side of the head.

King: That guy's definitely got a different kind of warm up than I'm used to.

Axis: Everyone's got their own ritual, King.

The lights fade to black, then suddenly flame shoots out of the stage. "Legion of Doom" begins to play as Cassius Atkinson makes his way to the ring accompanied by Dominator. He climbs the steps and marches across the ring, climbing the far turnbuckle and raising his arms as the fans cheer.

FUNYON: From Tyler, Texas, weighing in at 256 lbs., Cassius ATKINSON!!!

Axis: This SJL newcomer is kind of interesting as he comes in at fifty years of age. He's actually accompanied to the ring by his son, Dominic Atkinson, who calls himself Dominator.

The flames slowly die down as Cassius's music comes to a screeching end.

"Ch... ch... check out... check out my melody....."

"Just one more fight about a lot of things"

"And I will give up everything to be on my own again"

"Free Again!"

"This time I'll let it all come out, this time I'll stand up and shout.

I'll do things my way, It's my way, my way or the highway!"

FUNYON: From Spring...

Scott Solomon storms the ring before Funyon can even make the intro.

Axis: Solomon's obviously waited for this moment, King. He's ready to take it to Phoenix and Atkinson right now.

King: The kid's got some spunk. Let's see if he's got anything else worth talking about.

Funyon dives out of the ring as Solomon plows in to Cassius as the bell rings. The spear takes Cassius down before he even registers the contact. Phoenix charges Solomon, but Solomon hoists him right up in to the air. Samoan Drop.

Axis: Dang! This Solomon kid is really taking it to the other new stars. He's on fire in the early going of this match.

King: Yeah, let's see if his fire dies down in to a little bit of steam in a minute or two.

Solomon turns his attention back to Cassius, hitting a quick stomp to the gut to keep Cassius dazed. As he lifts Cassius to his feet, he doesn't notice Phoenix standing up behind him. Solomon starts laying it in to Cassius with right hands, keeping the other man in his daze. Phoenix captures him from behind, hoisting him up in to a German suplex. Solomon crashes down in to the mat.

Axis: Solomon needs to keep his focus if he wants to win this match. Let's hope he hasn't blown up with that high-power entry.

King: It would serve the stupid punk right if he did.

Phoenix grabs Cassius around the waist. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Cassius crashes to the mat. Phoenix rolls Cassius over, locking in a rear naked choke.

Axis: Looks like Phoenix is trying to suck the life out of Cassius.

King: Or at least this match...

Solomon climbs the top turnbuckle in the corner behind Phoenix, and takes a second to size up his target. Solomon jumps in to the air, flying almost half way across the ring with his elbow drop.

Axis: Dear god! He's going to drop an elbow on both men!

Phoenix rolls out of the way, and Solomon crashes down on Cassius.

Axis: Good scouting on Phoenix's part.

King: What is this? Beat on the old guy night? I sure hope so.

Phoenix rolls up behind Solomon, and locks him into an achilles' tendon hold/anklelock. Solomon begins to writhe at the pain. He starts working his way to the ropes, but it's just too far away.

Axis: Solomon's going to need a miracle to get out of this hold with Cassius still down.

Dominator (at ringside): Get up, Dad! Show these moron's who's boss!

Solomon tries to roll over out of the tendon hold, but Phoenix just applies more pressure. But in the corner, Cassius powers his way back to his feet. Cassius strikes Phoenix with an elbow from behind. Cassius whips Phoenix to the ropes. Phoenix rebounds, but he scouts Cassius's attempt at a clothesline and ducks it. Phoenix rebounds again and dives at Cassius with an elbow. Cassius sidesteps, sending Phoenix in to the mat. Cassius runs and hits the rope, dropping a quick elbow on Phoenix.

Axis: Cassius has put himself back in the game! This match is heating up, King.

King: I'm still waiting to see some real fire from any of these three. Maybe, I'll go back to that nap...

Cassius pulls Phoenix to his feet, hooking his arms. Double Arm Suplex back to the mat. Cassius pulls off his elbow pad, then heads back to the ropes, rebounds, and hops Phoenix. He rebounds again, then drops a hard elbow on Phoenix.

Axis: Cassius calls that move the End of the Line.

Cassius, noticably fatigued, quickly makes the cover.

ONE...

TWO...

TH.... No!

Solomon's back to his feet just in time to dive in and break up the count! All three men are down in the ring as the ref begins the count. One... two... three...

Phoenix struggles his way to his feet, just as Cassius and Solomon begin to stir. Phoenix drops a running elbow on Cassius, taking him down to the mat. He rebounds off the ropes to hit Solomon, but Solomon has worked his way to his feet. Phoenix goes for the Clothesline, but Solomon catches Phoenix by the neck. Solomon spins with Phoenix's momentum, lifting him in to the air, then slamming him back to the mat.

Axis: What a chokeslam! Phoenix is down after that blow, but Cassius is struggling to his feet.

King: Now that was good! Rookies beating the hell out of each other is always entertaining.

Cassius charges Solomon from behind. Spear! Solomon takes the hit and rolls!!! Solomon is back to his feet. Solomon hoists Cassius up and around. Powerslam! Phoenix is back up, and charges Solomon. He hits Solomon, hoists him up in spinebuster position, then dives back in to the ground, driving Solomon down first. He hooks the leg for the cover.

ONE!

TW... NO!!!

Solomon throws his shoulder up. Cassius runs in, dropping another elbow on Phoenix before he can regain his footing. Solomon pulls himself up; Cassius takes a swing at him. Solomon catches the arm, wrapping his arms around both, then dropping to the mat. Cassius comes down hard with him as he yelps at the pain from the falling armbreaker. Solomon wraps himself behind Cassius, trying to lock in the Disarmament.

Phoenix hits him from behind, breaking the hold. Phoenix hoists Solomon up in a German again. Solomon slams to the mat, while Phoenix rolls in to the bridge.

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE.... NO!

Cassius Atkinson dives in to break up the count. Cassius whips Phoenix to the corner. Phoenix slams in to the corner, then rebounds, slightly dazed. Cassius hoists up Phoenix in to Powerbomb position, then sends him slamming down over the top rope to the floor!

Axis: Oh my god!!!! He's trying to kill Dan "The Phoenix" Caldwell!!!

King: Yeah! Now that's good stuff!

Cassius turns his attention back to Scott Solomon in the ring. Solomon struggles to his feet. Cassius hits the ropes. Bulldog to Solomon. Cassius moves to Solomon's legs, trying to lock in a sharpshooter. Solomon struggles to break free with several right hands to Cassius's shoulder.

Cassius won't let go... He tries to roll Solomon in to position, but Solomon won't go! Phoenix is back in to the ring. Phoenix charges in with a kick straight to Cassius's skull! Cassius pulls Phoenix up by the waist. Exploder Suplex! Cassius is out cold in the center of the ring.

Solomon is back on his feet, and goes for the running clotheline on Phoenix, but Phoenix scouts him and ducks. Phoenix spins hitting Solomon with the back of his fist. Solomon stumbles in to the rope, rebounds backwards, and Phoenix locks in the choke hold!

Axis: Dan Caldwell is really showing his stuff here tonight, King!

King: He's still not as good as that Demon kid who beat him on Wrath.

Axis: Jimmy "The Demon" Liston is coming up later, King, but right now Scott Solomon is struggling to break Dan Caldwell's choke.

Solomon struggles towards the rope, but Phoenix pulls him back, dropping both men to the mat. Phoenix tries to lock his legs around Solomon's, but Solomon again struggles to escape. Solomon begins to lay strong elbows in to Phoenix, but Phoenix won't break the hold. Solomon struggles to a sitting position...

And he reaches the rope!

Referee Sexton Hardcastle starts the five count on Phoenix, who quickly breaks the hold. Solomon rolls out of the ring to recover.

Axis: Smart move by Solomon, taking a few seconds to recover from the beating he just received.

Cassius is struggling to his feet, as Phoenix yells down at Solomon to get back in the ring. Solomon points behind Phoenix, who turns just in time, to receive the charging elbow from Cassius. Cassius hoists Phoenix in to the air, raising him straight up in to the air. Cassius spins with Phoenix then drops him in a DDT. Cassius climbs the top rope as Scott Solomon rolls in to the ring. Cassius drops the elbow on Dan Caldwell, but Phoenix isn't there! Cassius strikes the mat as Phoenix rolls out of the way.

Axis: All three men are back in the ring, King! It's anyone's match now!

Solomon grabs Phoenix around the waist from the back. Release German suplex! Phoenix crashes in to the mat. Solomon lifts up Cassius from behind. He spins Cassius around, driving his knee in to Cassius's back. Solomon drops on to Cassius for the pin.

ONE...

TWO....

T.. NO!!!

Cassius kicks out! Phoenix is back up, and hits Solomon with a devastating elbow! Solomon falls, but Cassius is back up. Cassius runs at Phoenix... Running DDT!!! Phoenix is down and Cassius begins to play to the crowd.

Dominator hops up and down outside of the ring, excited at Cassius's success.

Axis: Cassius Atkinson is making a big mistake by not capitalizing on this, King. He should really be going for the pinfall here.

King: It would serve him right. Someone needs to whip that showboat in to shape!

Axis: Be careful, King. That almost sounded like a challenge...

King: He isn't even in my class.

Cassius hits the ropes, and runs at Solomon with the elbow. Solomon sidesteps, pushing Cassius in to the ropes. Cassius rebounds, Solomon pulls him up, Powerslam to Cassius Atkinson!

Phoenix is to his feet, and he hits Solomon with a massive elbow to the head. Phoenix pulls Solomon's head down in to his knee, and then hits Solomon with a succession of brutal elbows to the forehead. Solomon falls to the mat, clutching his face.

Axis: Dan "The Phoenix" Caldwell has bloodied Scott Solomon! He's busted wide open!

King: Hey, a little bit of brutal blood letting always helps improve a match. It's one of the few interesting things that's happened in the last few minutes.

Cassius Atkinson is back to his feet, and the old man is visibly tired from the beating he's received so far in the match. He runs at Phoenix's back. Bulldog to Dan Caldwell! Cassius kicks the back of Phoenix's head, then hoists him back up by both arms. Atkinson lifts Phoenix in to the air and drives him back down.

Axis: Double Arm DDT! Cassius Atkinson is out to finish this match right now.

King: I wish someone would already!

Dan "Phoenix" Caldwell is out on the mat as Cassius starts up the nearest turnbuckle. Atkinson leaps off the turnbuckle, dropping a devastating elbow on to Phoenix.

Axis: The Everlasting Elbow!

Cassius hooks the leg for the pin.

ONE...

TWO....

THRE..... NO!

Scott Solomon barely breaks up the pinfall! Cassius spins around and strikes Solomon with a brutal elbow to the head. Blood splatters off of Solomon's crimson mask as he goes down to the mat.

Cassius Atkinson hoists Dan Atkinson to his feet. Phoenix is still obvious dazed. Evenflow DDT!

Axis: Dan "The Phoenix" Caldwell has been utterly brutalized in this match! How much more can the man take?

King: I don't know how much more of this I can take!

Solomon powers his way back to his feet at the ropes, but Cassius Atkinson charges him with an elbow. Solomon flips over the rope, as Cassius rebounds back and lands his End of the Line finisher on Dan "Phoenix" Caldwell.

But Solomon never falls out of the ring, instead h grabs the top rope. Solomon quickly flips himself back in to the ring. Solomon breaks up the pinfall with a hard stomp. Solomon hoists Cassius Atkinson up between his legs. Solomon lifts Cassius up, and then hops as he drives Cassius down in a piledriver.

Axis: He may be beaten, he may be bloodied, but you can't count "The Arsenal" Scott Solomon out of this match!

Solomon drops down on to Cassius for the pinfall, but Dominator is on the ring apron distracting the ref. The crowd counts the ONE... TWO... THREE...

Axis: Damn it! Scott Solomon should have this match won!

Solomon growls as he sees the distraction, and flips Cassius in to an armbar.

Dan "Phoenix" Caldwell is back to his feet, and he breaks up the pinfall with a running knee to Solomon's back. Solomon yelps in pain, and rolls off Cassius.

Phoenix pulls Cassius Atkinson to his feet again, but Cassius tries to fight his way out of Phoenix's grasp.

Scott Solomon's back up and he hits Phoenix behind with a clothesline. Scott whips Phoenix in to the ropes, then hoists up Phoenix on the rebound. Samoan Drop!

Cassius is back up on the turnbuckle. Everlasting Elbow to Dan "The Phoenix" Caldwell! Scott Solomon elbow drops Cassius before he has the chance to pin Phoenix. Cassius and Solomon are both back to their feet. Cassius lays it in to Solomon with hard right hands.

Axis: Cassius is one power move away from winning this match, King.

King: I can only hope, these three are way too nice to my liking. Where are the foreign objects? The blatant cheating? They have a hell of a lot to learn.

Solomon reverses Cassius's punches with an irish whip. Cassius rebounds with a running clothesline, but Solomon steps out of the way. Cassius clothesline Dominator off the ring apron! Cassius is stunned at knocking his son down to the floor!

Solomon spins him around, then hits him with a swift kick, then lifts him up in to powerbomb position.

King: The kid's got a powerbomb for a finisher. How boring...

Axis: No, King, I've heard about this.

Solomon throws Cassius in to a spin, grabbing Cassius's shoulders when he's facing down and driving him to the mat.

Axis: Scott Solomon calls that move The Blaster! Now I see why!

Dan "Phoenix" Caldwell slowly struggles to his feet as Solomon goes for the cover.

ONE...

TWO...

THREE!

Caldwell hits a elbow drop just as referee Sexton Hardcastle signals for the bell!

Axis: Scott Solomon has won this match, but Dan "The Phoenix" Caldwell is furious!!!!

King: Maybe the kid will learn something from this!

Dan Caldwell pulls Solomon off of Cassius. Phoenix lifts him up. A brtual Tiger Bomb to the bloodied! Solomon is out cold!

Dan leaves the ring as "My Way" cues up again. The Phoenix raises his hands in triumph as he leaves the ring.

Axis: Scott Solomon has won the match, but he may have gained an enemy in the process. Nevertheless, an impressive debut by all these new stars.

King: Not bad, but these guys need to really step it up if they're going to make it in the SJL.

Dominator helps Cassius Atkinson out of the ring. Solomon struggles to his feet as Sexton Hardcastle holds up his arm in victory. A grin runs across his brutally bloodied face.

Axis: I don't care what you say, King. That's the future of the SJL right there!

May 23, 2003

The latest edition of SJL Crimson returns to the air, coming to fans worldwide live from the Tokyo Dome in Tokyo, Japan. The crowd is buzzing following the match between three men who will no doubt be the future of the JL, Cassius Atkinson, Scott Solomon and Dan Caldwell, and another cheer goes up as several blasts of red pyro fire up from across the stage, “Burn to Burn” by Static-X kicking into action. Without delay Syndicate steps through the smoke and sparks to a cheer from the crowd as he makes his return to JL action following a short sabbatical, Funyon starting the introductions.

Funyon: “The following contest is set for one-fall. Entering first, weighing 239lbs from Portland, Oregon, SYNDICATE!!!”

As Funyon finishes his intro Syndicate slides into the ring, climbing the nearest turnbuckle and raising his arms to the cheers of the crowd before hopping down and focusing on the match at hand.

Axis: “Welcome back fans, we’re wasting no time in getting back into the action tonight as Syndicate makes return to the JL, but it’s not going to be an easy comeback for him, as he takes on a man who was successful in his debut on Wrath, Jimmy ‘The Demon’ Liston.”

King: “And he’ll be successful again tonight, Syndicate is a bum with a whopping one win from his first JL stint, and unless he’s magically found a little thing called talent while he’s been gone Liston should pick up another win on his path to superstardom.”

Axis: “That’s hardly fair King, Syndicate showed plenty of talent, but has fallen just short of victory each time, it’s only a matter of time before he breaks through his losing streak and starts moving up the card.”

King: “Whatever, you dirty Aussies don’t know anything, nobody can spot true talent like a King.”

Syndicate stretches on the ropes in preparation for the match as the lights go dark, the drumbeat from Disturbed's “Down With the Sickness” beginning to play. Suddenly, flares begin to run up the ramp from ringside towards the entrance.

OW-WAH-AH-AH-AH!

BOOM!

Pyrotechnics illuminate the entrance, revealing Liston standing at the top of the stage, his arms raised to the crowd. Liston then quickly makes his way down the ramp as Funyon continues the introductions.

Funyon: “And now making his way to the ring, weighing 228lbs from Boston, Massachusetts, JIMMY “THE DEMON” LISTON!!!”

Liston climbs the apron and bends under the ropes, climbing the near turnbuckle and thrusting his fists into the air in time with the beat. He then repeats this on the opposite turnbuckle as the house lights are brought back up, Liston hopping down and focusing his attention on Syndicate.

King: “Now it’s time to give these Japanese fans a real treat, more wonderful and insightful commentary by yours truly. I’m like a god to them you know, of course I’m treated like a god everywhere I go, the people certainly love the Suicide King.”

Axis: “Good to see you’re as full of yourself as always. Well anyway, it’s time for this match to get underway, with both men looking to make a name for themselves in the JL it should be great.”

Liston brushes his long red hair out of his face, before both men dart forward, locking up in the center of the ring as Referee Kivell signals for the bell!

DING DING DING!

A cheer goes up from the Tokyo fans as the match gets underway, Liston and Syndicate struggling to out-maneuver the other. Both men find their strength to be of comparable levels, neither able to get the advantage, before the slightly shorter Liston manages to slip out and under Syndicate’s grasp, cinching his arm back in a hammerlock. Syndicate winces in pain, but quickly attempts to fight back, trusting his arm back and connecting with the bridge of Liston’s nose with a back elbow. With The Demon stunned slightly Syndicate looks to follow up with another, but the quicker Liston sees it coming and ducks under, loosening his hold on the hammerlock and turning it into an arm wrench. Before Syndicate can look to escape again Liston quickly spins around, flooring Syndicate with a quick hook kick! Liston swiftly drops on top of Syndicate for the early cover.

ONE…

TWO… No, Syndicate kicks out with little difficulty.

King: “If Syndicate hopes to make his second run in the JL better than his first he better pick up his act, Liston wasting no time in getting on top of this contest.”

Liston is quick to his knees, latching on a headlock as he brings Syndicate to his feet, moving to the ropes and using the spring to bounce off, Liston heading across the ring and rebounding off the opposite ropes. Syndicate moves forward as well though, trying to catch Liston off-guard on the rebound with a clothesline, but Liston is prepared and ducks underneath, pivoting around on the spot as Syndicate continues onto the ring ropes, and as he bounces back Liston catches him, lifting him up and over and planting him to the canvas with a hard powerslam, Liston staying on top and hooking the far leg for the pin.

ONE…

TWO…

T… No, Syndicate gets his shoulder off the mat in time, the crowd giving a cheer as the match continues.

Axis: “Jimmy Liston was very impressive in his debut win on Wrath, and he’s been equally impressive so far tonight, Syndicate needs to make a comeback soon or this could be over quick.”

Once again Liston brings Syndicate to his feet, and wastes no time in unloading on Syndicate with a set of hard right hands, each shot rocking Syndicate back. With the Oregon native reeling Liston takes him by the arm and whips him across the ring, ducking down as Syndicate bounces back in preparation for a back body drop. But Liston telegraphs the move just a little bit too early, at the last second Syndicate getting a boot up to the chest of Liston, knocking the wind out of him enough to give Syndicate the opportunity to mount a comeback. Syndicate instantly hooks Liston in position for a suplex, and without delay snaps him over, The Demon’s back hitting the mat hard on the receiving end of a snap suplex! Syndicate isn’t finished there though, keeping his hold on Liston as he gets back to his feet, setting himself and delivering a second snap suplex!

Axis: “Syndicate needed to fight back, and that’s just what he’s doing, executing two picture perfect snap suplexes. And I don’t think he’s done yet!”

Syndicate again retains his grasp on Liston, returning to a standing base and continuing the rolling suplexes, snapping Jimmy over a third and final time! Liston arches his back in pain and Syndicate rolls over, Kivell circling into position as Syndicate makes the cover.

ONE…

TWO…

TH… NO! Liston still has plenty left in the tank as he’s able to kick out before Kivell’s hand connects with the mat a third time.”

King: “Hmm, I guess that’s Syndicate’s token jobber offence for the match, Liston will be back in control in no time, like always Syndicate will find a way to screw up and lose.”

Axis: “I wouldn’t count Syndicate out, he’s more than capable of taking this one out, but Liston isn’t about to roll over and die just yet, neither man will go down without a fight.”

Syndicate shakes out the cobwebs as he gets to his feet, pulling Liston up and doubling him over, before unleashing a barrage of forearm and elbow shots to the back of The Demon’s head and neck, the force of the hard shots dropping him back to his knees, pain shooting throughout his body. Liston tries to ignore the pain and pull himself up with the assistance of Syndicate’s tights, but he doesn’t have to worry about standing for long as Syndicate scoops him up, holding him upside-down for a moment before dropping to one knee, Liston landing shoulder-first on Syndicate’s extended knee in a shoulderbreaker, the fans ‘ooh’ing at the savage impact as Liston flops to the mat, clutching his shoulder slightly as Syndicate again goes for the cover.

ONE…

TWO…

THR… NO!! The Demon manages to thrust his shoulder off the mat before the three, wisely not using the arm that was hurt with the shoulderbreaker so as not to aggravate any further pain.

King: “Fine, so maybe Syndicate has a little skill, but it’ll take more than a few suplexes and a shoulderbreaker to put The Demon down for the count.”

Syndicate gets to his feet, bringing Liston up in a basic armlock before repaying the favour from earlier, this time Syndicate’s the one to lay into his opponent with some hard punches, Jimmy Liston stumbling back from the blows before being taken by the arm and sent to the ropes, on the rebound Syndicate swiftly lifting Liston up into a fireman’s carry. The crowd watches on in anticipation of Syndicate swinging Liston out into a facebuster on his knee, but before he can Liston manages to fight back, doing the only thing he can in his position, driving his head into the back of Syndicate’s head with a hard headbutt, the impact of skull-on-skull rattling Syndicate’s brains, many of the crowd wincing at the cracking of heads going on in the ring.

King: “Jimmy Liston using his head there, pun intended. The Demon showing he has the brains to back up his in-ring skills, an ingenious counter to the fireman’s carry, and all of a sudden Liston’s right back in this.”

Liston follows up with another hard headbutt, then another, getting Syndicate sufficiently woozy for Liston to slip off his shoulders and land right behind him, quickly latching on a rear waistlock. With Syndicate still seeing stars Liston sets himself, before arching back, powering the heavier Syndicate up and over, tossing him overhead with a Release German Suplex!! Syndicate flies through the air before crashing back to earth in a very unceremonious manner, landing flush on the back of his head, the momentum rolling him over onto his stomach as the crowd pops for the head drop.

Axis: “Ouch, Syndicate can’t be feeling well after that one, the back of his head slamming the mat hard as a result of that brutal Liston German Suplex!”

Liston slowly gets back to his feet as Syndicate lays in a broken heap on the mat, Liston taking a moment to shake his arm out, working out the kinks following the shoulderbreaker before re-focusing his attention on Syndicate. Liston decides to forego the pin on this occasion, instead reaching down and pulling Syndicate up to his knees, before applying a double underhook. From there Liston lifts the dead weight of Syndicate up, slamming him down on his back with an underhook suplex, Liston quickly moving around and going for the pin!

ONE…

TWO…

THRE… NOO!!! Syndicate finds the strength to kick out and get his shoulders off the mat in the nick of time.

Axis: “There’s still fight in Syndicate yet! Despite being on the receiving end of most of the punishment this match he’s still in this, Liston will have to pull out the big guns to finally put him down.”

King: “And that’s just what he’ll do. Aside from a few fluke moves on Syndicate’s part, Jimmy Liston has been firmly in control of this contest. It won’t be long now before he covers Syndicate for the 1, 2, 3.”

Liston gives a quick frustrated glance at the referee, thinking he should have won right then and there, but puts it out of his mind and gets back to business, bringing Syndicate to a seated position and applying a sleeper hold, looking to drain the life out of him with the R.I.P! Liston wraps his arms around the head and neck of Syndicate tightly, cutting off the circulation as Syndicate desperately tries to break out, but every second he’s locked in Syndicate fades a little bit more, Liston locking the R.I.P. in right in the middle of the ring.

King: “A great tactic by Jimmy Liston, the seated sleeper wearing Sydnicate down even more, and his ring placement is impeccable, dead center in the ring, there’s nowhere for Syndicate to go.”

Liston continues to apply the R.I.P. with all the force he can muster, but Syndicate, knowing that he’ll be in dire straights if he can’t fight back right now, draws on all the energy he has left to push himself up, getting to his feet, though Liston refuses to let go, the sleeper still locked on in a standing position. With the ropes nowhere near him Syndicate does the only thing he can, dropping back to the mat and rocking Liston’s head off his shoulder with a desperation jawbreaker! The Demon reels back from the move and stumbles into the corner turnbuckle, and Syndicate tries to capitalise, getting to feet and charging at Liston, looking to crush him in the corner with a clothesline. But Liston is in better condition than Syndicate is, and sees him coming just in time for him to dodge to the side, Syndicate smacking into the hard pads with a thud. Beads of perspiration fly off Syndicate as he bounces back from the impact, turning around to face Liston, but he only sees a blur as Jimmy rushes forward at full pace, drilling Syndicate in the stomach with a spear and driving him right back into the turnbuckle!

King: “Syndicate may have managed to get a lucky escape from the R.I.P, but Liston keeps in control of the game with the Hunt, Syndicate’s days are numbered.”

Axis: “You may be right, Syndicate is in trouble here, and unless he can find a way to get back in this The Demon may have win number two of his JL career.”

Liston thrusts his shoulder into the midsection of Syndicate one more time for good measure, before standing and letting Syndicate stumble out of the corner, Liston on the spot to lift Syndicate up off the mat before dropping him with a side slam, Syndicate again hitting the mat hard, and Liston looks to capitalise once more by quickly going for the pin, hooking the far leg as Kivell make the count.

ONE…

TWO…

THRE… NOOO!! Syndicate barely gets his shoulder up, Kivell’s hand coming oh-so-close to impacting the mat a decisive third time.

King: “Dammit, that Kivell’s an idiot, that was three for sure, all these referees can’t do anything right.”

Axis: “It wasn’t three, though it was very close, Liston mere moments from scoring the pin there.”

Liston smacks the mat, letting out a little frustration, before pushing himself back up and looking to stick another nail in Syndicate’s coffin, pulling him into a standing headscissors and setting himself for a Cross Powerbomb! Liston prepares himself to lift the heavier Syndicate up, but the slight pause gives Syndicate just the opportunity he needs, lifting Liston up and over with a back body drop! Liston hits the mat with a thud as Syndicate stumbles over to the ropes, still feeling the effects of the punishment he’s taken, which allows Liston to return to his feet and make another move for Syndicate, coming at him with a clothesline. Syndicate avoids it by ducking though, and as Liston hits the ropes and rebounds back Syndicate is right on the spot lifting him for a hoptoss, but in mid-air twists his body and brings Liston down with a neckbreaker! Knowing he may not have many more opportunities Syndicate quickly turns over and covers Liston, Kivell making the count!

ONE…

TWO…

THRE… NOOOO!!! Liston kicks out with all his might, getting his shoulder off the mat with little time to spare.

King: “Syndicate will have to try harder than that to beat The Demon, Liston’s much fresher than Syndicate is, this isn’t ending any way other than a Liston victory.”

Syndicate rolls off, breathing hard from the strain of the match, but he has to put it out of his mind as he gets to his knees and pushes himself up, grabbing hold of Liston’s long red hair and dragging him into a standing headscossors, Syndicate locking his arms around Liston’s waist as he looks for a piledriver!

Axis: “The majority of Syndicate’s offence targets the head and neck region, if he’s going to beat Jimmy he’s going to have to play to those strengths, and a piledriver could turn this match right back in favour of Syndicate!”

Syndicate lifts Liston off his feet, but only gets him a few inches off the mat before his weight proves too much, the weakened Syndicate having no choice but to set Liston back down on his feet. It’s then that Jimmy sees his opportunity to strike, reaching up and before Syndicate knows what’s going on Liston drags him down into a lightning-fast roll up! Kivell makes the count!

ONE…

TWO…

THREEEEE… NOOOOOO!!! Syndicate miraculously kicks out, milliseconds before Kivell’s hand can hit the canvas a third and final time, the closeness of the fall fooling many of the crowd into thinking it’s over, but Kivell signals that the match is to go on! Both men are up quickly following the pin, but it’s Liston that’s up a fraction of a second earlier, allowing him to charge and just about decapitate Syndicate with a hard clothesline, Syndicate flopping back to the mat in a heap.

King: “Syndicate may have escaped the rollup, but his joy from escaping was shortlived, Liston hitting him hard with a clothesline. With all the ducked clotheslines so far in the match one was bound to hit sooner or later.”

Liston moves to the ropes after decking Syndicate with the clothesline, leaning on the top rope and resting for a second before turning back to face Syndicate, The Demon moving in for the kill. Syndicate starts to move, and Liston stands back, letting his opponent expend valuable energy getting up under his own power, but as soon as Syndicate is on his feet Liston moves in, taking hold of Syndicate and driving a knee up into his midsection, the hard knee strike driving the air right out of the Oregon native. Liston follows with another knee strike for good measure, doubling him over, before Liston goes to take this one to the pay window, pulling Syndicate’s head between his legs in position for a powerbomb, the first part of his finisher the Descent!

King: “And as per usual Syndicate is going to fall just short of victory, about to fall victim to the Descent. I’ll get started adding the ‘W’ to Liston’s win/loss record.”

Axis: “Well it isn’t over yet, but you may very well be right, if Liston hits the Descent this will be over for sure.”

Liston sets himself and in an impressive show of strength brings Syndicate up to his shoulders, holding Syndicate high as he prepares to drop him down in a facebuster to complete the Descent. Syndicate isn’t about to go down without a fight though, knowing it’s now or never Syndicate starts pounding the head of Liston with punches, repeatedly driving his fist into the face of The Demon, doing enough for Liston’s grip on Syndicate to weaken, allowing Syndicate to slip back down to his feet! Before Liston can attempt to recover Syndicate brings his boot up into the stomach of Liston, doubling him over and Syndicate takes his arm and brings it between his legs, before hooking his other arm in a pumphandle position. From there Syndicate lifts Liston off his feet and falls back, dropping him headfirst into the mat with an Exploder ’98 Suplex!

Axis: “Syndicate escapes the Descent and just destroyed Liston with an Exploder ’98! And it doesn’t look like he’s done yet!”

Syndicate gets to his feet as fast as his body will allow him, dragging the woozy Liston up to his feet and scooping him upside down, holding him in position for a sit-out Tombstone Piledriver, the Vertigo!! Syndicate holds him for a second before sitting out, spiking Liston into the canvas with the Vertigo! Liston bounces off the mat before collapsing back down, Syndicate immediately rolling on top for the cover!

ONE…

TWO…

THREE!!!

DING DING DING!

The crowd goes up in applause for Syndicate, who rolls off exhausted as Kivell reaches down and raises his arm, Funyon getting on the mic to make it official.

Funyon: “The winner of this match by pinfall, SYNDICATE!!!”

King: “Dammit, he can’t do that, Syndicate always loses! He must have cheated, that’s the only way a bum like Syndicate could ever win.”

Axis: “Well Syndicate wins in his return, but you know Liston will have plenty more wins in his future as well. But now we get to see how the old-school Charlie Matthews handles a ladder match, taking on frequent rival Leo Breslin with the TV Title on the line, and it’s coming up NEXT!”

May 23, 2003

The Tokyo Dome in Tokyo, Japan holds thousands of fans. They all squint curiously at the large screen, which shows them holding up their signs.

King: WE… WELCOME… YOU…

Axis: …Our viewers aren’t limited to foreigners, King. There are Americans watching this thing. And Canadians…

King: WELCOME… CANADIANS… EH…

As Axis lets out a disgruntled sigh, the arena is brought to a chorus of boos upon the arrival of Charlie Matthews. On stage with him is James Matheson, dressed in black from head-to-toe, with the exception of his deep red face, colored thanks to his exuberant disposition. Matthews begins down the ramp, but Matheson waits on the stage for a few seconds, admiring the large ladder set up on it. James lifts his microphone to his mouth.

Matheson: Family… friends… fans… co-workers; we are gathered here today to say goodbye. Mourn not, folks… for this loss… has been suffered many times before. I hope that when you see Leo Breslin take his final shot at the TV Title, and he FAILS… you all shed a tear. Unfortunately, this will be the last time Leo EVER gets a shot at the TV Title until Charlie moves on… because Charlie is going NOWHERE!

By this time, the two men are at the bottom of the ramp, and Matthews is ascending the steps. He enters the ring as Matheson starts up again.

Matheson: Entering the ring… weighing in at 299 pounds of raw STRENGTH… hailing from Kansas City, Missouri… he is THE SJL Television Champion of Champions… he is CHARLIE… “GRAPPLER”… MATTHEWS!

King: I think the Japanese are just as crooked and evil as Americans. Why are they booing Charlie?!

Axis: Because they’re intelligent, and they’ve seen all the things that Matheson, and not particularly Matthews, have done.

King: They can see everything? Even with those--

Axis: I think Leo Breslin is about to come out!

Darkness ensues. Foo Fighter’s “All My Life” fills the air as a bright beam of light pierces the darkness and multiple columns of flames shoot upward across the stage. The shadow creeping out from behind the curtain steps into the light. Leo Breslin receives a rather large reception upon his appearance. He begins walking down the ramp, rather methodically, admiring the crowd.

King: These Japanese make me sick! They’re just cheering for Breslin because Ohio is closer to them than Missouri.

Axis: It is?

King: Maybe. I don’t even really know where Missouri is.

Funyon is about to make his announcement, but before he can get a word out, James Matheson begins speaking into his microphone again.

Matheson: And his OPPONENT… weighing in at 230 pounds of wishful thinking… hailing from Cleveland, Ohio… LEO “LYING ON HIS DEATH BED”… BRESLIN!

At the foot of the ramp, Leo turns and makes direct eye contact with Matheson. He points a finger at him and has a few choice words of his own. Matheson counters.

Matheson: I’m ready to deliver your eulogy, Breslin. Your claim to fame can be… Charlie’s first undeniable inferior! This is it, Breslin… the blow-off match… your END!

Breslin is still staring intently at Matheson. In the meantime, Matthews has sneaked out of the ring and is behind Breslin, who turns around, but is quick enough to block a slow punch from his rather lethargic assailant. Breslin delivers a punch of his own, then hurriedly puts a boot into Matthews’ midsection, doubles him over, hooks an arm around his neck, and finally drops down onto his back, slamming Matthews’ head into the outside mat with a DDT.

Axis: And this match is underway! I won’t spent too much time harping on this being the “blow-off match” between Breslin and Matthews, seeing as Matheson just mentioned it. But let it be known that after this match, these men won’t be facing each other for a long time. So considering that, one must assume that the winner of this match has a very good chance of being Television Champion for a LONG time.

King: Where’s Breslin going?! Get away from Matheson!

Axis: He’s not doing anything. He’s just scaring the little runt away from the action so he doesn’t interfere. See? Now he’s returning to Matthews.

Breslin gets back to his man, who is on his feet and able to send a knee into Breslin’s gut. Matthews takes the doubled-over Breslin and hoists him onto one shoulder. Seconds later, Matthews breaks into a run, headed directly for a steel poll. Breslin is dropped slightly from Matthews shoulder, just so his back makes direct contact with the unyielding target.

King: OUCH! Matthews drops Breslin like a bad habit.

Axis: Breslin is favoring his back. That can’t be good, considering that he’s also having problems with his neck right now. Any problems he may have had in the past have probably come back to haunt him, because just a few dies ago when Matthews and Breslin met, Matthews put all his weight on his awkwardly-twisted neck.

King: They should call this place the King Kong Dome. Just to rub it in Godzilla’s face…

Axis: Both those characters are fictional. And if they were real, I think Godzilla would be able to handle it.

King: Would he, Axis? Would he?

Axis: What made you think of that anyway?

King: Why waste my time thinking about the match? The ending is predictable. Matthews beats Breslin.

Axis: How do you know?

King: Does a bear go to the bathroom in the woods? Does the sun rise in the east and set in the west? Is your mother a Saigon whore?

With that, both men are silenced and watch as Matthews erects the ladder he pulled out from under the ring after handily disposing of Breslin. But in the meantime, Breslin is getting himself to his feet and rolling into the ring. Matthews fails to notice his presence in his mission to get the match over with in record time. So just after he makes sure the ladder is steady and positioned correctly, Breslin wraps his arms around his waist from behind, and lifts him up and over, releasing and tossing him with a German suplex.

Axis: And Breslin ignites this match!

King: Actually, this match was already ignited. It wasn’t slow at the beginning.

Axis: You’re right, King. This match started with a bang, and I have a feeling that Breslin and Matthews will bang many more times tonight.

King: SHH! Japanese people are virgins…

Axis: …What?

Leo turns around, and instead of going for the ladder, he heads towards Matthews. After lifting him to his feet, Leo hooks his arm around his neck and drapes Matthews’ arm over his neck. Grabbing a handful of Charlie’s tights, Leo is able to bring Matthews up and over again, this time with a simple suplex. Hoping that he’s taken enough out of the big man, Leo rushes over to the ladder and begins ascending it.

Axis: That Television Title is hanging fifteen or so feet above the ring…

King: And Leo is climbing that ladder thinking Matthews will let him get to the top and pull off that TV Title. Charlie is already up, for God’s sake.

Axis: Yeah, and--

King: Do they believe in God here? Sorry…

Not having much of a response, Axis doesn’t speak, but instead just watches as Matthews comes from behind. He sticks his head between Leo’s legs then backs up, placing him on his shoulders. Matthews puts his hands just below Leo’s ass, holding onto his thighs. He then lifts Breslin up, over his head, and practically throws him forward onto his face.

King: That hurt Leo like a fat kid hurts… Little Debbie.

Axis: My head hurts.

Moving in, Matthews lifts Breslin’s legs and wraps his arms around them. After some preparation, Matthews takes off. Breslin’s wings spread, his arms extending as he is spun around in the center of the ring. The fans boo rather profusely, but Matthews continues, round-and-round, looking down at Breslin’s irate face.

King: Airplane spin! HAHA!

Axis: This is embarrassing for Breslin… to be spun around like this.

King: But it’s comical!

Axis: Exactly… and I don’t think Breslin should be made a joke out of.

King: Look! Even Matheson’s getting a kick out of it!

Axis: Of course he is. He’s a jackass

Standing outside, his hands resting on the apron, Matheson lets out a huge laugh. He hops up and down, thoroughly enjoying the airplane spin. He continues his theatrics, taking a few seconds to turn around and address the fans who boo him. Back in the ring, Matthews is slowly tiptoeing his way towards the ladder.

Axis: Why is Matthews moving towards the… God NO!

King: Is it Allah or something?

Axis: What?

King: God…

Axis: No. ShutUP! Matthews is moving towards that ladder, and Breslin is still being spun, and--GOD IN HEAVEN!

King: Not in Japan…

Axis: Breslin just knocked over that ladder with his HEAD… and he was spinnin’ FAST!

King: Well at least Matthews let him go.

Axis: I think anyone who just knocked their opponent out stone cold would let go so they can climb the ladder…

Matthews grabs the ladder, which is now leaning against a set of ropes, and carries it to the center of the ring. He sets it up under the belt a second time. Still somewhat dizzy from his rotations, Matthews is a bit leery about climbing the ladder. He’s urged on, however, by James Matheson. Slowly but surely, Matthews begins moving from one rung to another, making his way up the ladder.

King: Look at Breslin… trying to get up! What a puss!

Axis: I can’t blame him for being a little slow. Thing is, at the rate Matthews is moving, I wouldn’t be surprised if Breslin gets to him before he gets to the belt.

King: It’s a race against the clock!

Axis: Yes, they do have time here in Japan.

King: …Well yeah, of course they do. You think I’m stupid?

Breslin is on one knee when up onto the apron behind him climbs James Matheson. On his knees, Matheson sticks his arm into the ring, just between Leo’s legs, then delivers a swift low blow. Matthews then proceeds to get onto his feet and send as brutal a double ax handle he can muster into Breslin’s spine. Entering the ring, Matheson is now stomping Breslin.

Axis: This is an absolute tragedy! And look… even Matthews has stopped climbing the ladder and is staring down Matheson.

King: Why? Why isn’t Matthews’ grabbing his title?

Axis: Because he’s smart enough to realize that this is an injustice and--

King: Who the hell is that!? Get that woman out of the ring! Where did she come from, Axis?!

Axis: I don’t know, but--SHIT she just took Matheson down with a reverse DDT!

King: Who is she?!

Axis: Who cares?!

King: Here comes security. Thank GOD! Get this lunatic fan out of the ring.

Axis: If my inkling is correct, I’d say that this woman is no lunatic fan. She’s intentionally helping Leo Breslin get rid of Matheson.

King: And she did just that! Matheson is being helped to the back by SJL personnel. What did he do to deserve this?

Axis: Well, let’s see. He--

King: Don’t even start. THIS is a tragedy… in injustice… a crime against nature… a twist of fate…

Axis: A chance for Breslin to have a fair match against Matthews?

King: No. Did you hear me say that? Look at Matthews, too! He’s off the ladder, checking on his manager.

Axis: Get over him, Matthews. Get your head back into this match.

King: This match is officially RUINED.

Axis: If it’s ruined, why is Breslin on his feet, creeping towards the ladder as Matthews keeps his eye on that woman being escorted out of here?

King: Because he’s stupid! He isn’t even showing concern for Matheson’s well-being. How selfish is that?

Matheson is pulled into the back and the woman, a sly grin on her face directed at Matthews, is pulled away from the action as well. Matthews turns around just as Breslin steps onto the first ring, making it easy for him to stop him from climbing further. Coming from behind, Matthews hurriedly gets himself in the proper position, then falls back, pulling Breslin down from the first rung with a Russian leg sweep.

Axis: I think this is becoming a match again. After James Matheson… after that lady… it’s all back to normal and I hope that the better man wins.

King: Don’t worry. Matthews has this thing locked up.

As King says this, Matthews is lifting Breslin to his feet. Matthews whips Breslin into the ropes. He bends down, anticipating a back body drop, but it is read in advance by Breslin. Able to stop and send a boot into Matthews’ face, Breslin causes Matthews’ to stand up straight. Adding insult to injury, Breslin furthers the attack on Matthews’ face by turning himself around, grabbing Matthews around the neck and placing his face over his shoulder, then dropping down onto his back.

Axis: Beautiful diamond cutter!

King: I’ve seen better…

Axis: Breslin is a little slow to get up, but when he does, he immediately notices the well-placed ladder. No Matheson… Matthews seems to be out of it.

King: Breslin won’t make it.

Axis: You’re just afraid of seeing him win.

King: Who isn’t?

Axis: Well Breslin is literally one step closer as he is making his way up the ladder.

Breslin begins his ascent…one rung, then the next. However, Grappler, sensing his Title could be lost at this very moment, uses all of his willpower, and the ropes, to pull himself to his feet. Although he’s a bit dazed, he backs into the ropes and bounces off of them, and comes bounding back, using his body as a boulder, crashing RIGHT into the ladder, sending the ladder falling to the ground and Leo Breslin crashing down right on top of it!

Axis: Oh my! On top of Breslin’s neck and possible back injuries, he may have his RIBS to worry about after that fall!

King: Oh, what does it matter? Breslin is just a wreck, and it’s obvious he isn’t going to win. I just hope Matthews finishes this up soon so I can get the hell out of this God…err, damn country.

Seeing Breslin on top of the ladder, Grappler slides out of the ring and looks under the apron, before going under for a second and pulling out…another ladder. The crowd begins to buzz in anticipation at what could be coming next as the Champion slides back into the ring with his new toy. Once back in the ring, he gives the fallen Leo a few stomps to keep him idle, and then picks up the ladder, holding it up with his palms, bringing it high into the air in a gorilla-press position. He then brings it over the body of Breslin, and DROPS it with all of his force, crushing the challenger between the steel.

Axis: Oh my GOD! A Leo Breslin SANDWICH with those not-so-tasty ladders as bread. Damn it, this is getting brutal.

King: I don’t know I like my meat to be, you know, DEAD and COOKED before I eat it, unlike these sick Japanese people. I mean RAW fish? What the hell?

Leo Breslin rolls himself out of the predicament, clutching his midsection in pain. Matthews looks on with a malevolent glare in his eyes as he picks up the ladder once again. Instead of ascending it, he stands in wait for the challenger to get to his feet. Once Breslin does, Charlie meets him with a stiff boot to the midsection, and then pulls him close to his body. Grappler puts the ladder on the back of Leo, before pulling the ladder, with Leo in it, to him, and then clenches with all of his might.

Axis: Oh my…you HAVE to be kidding me.

King: Ladies and gentlemen…for the first time ever, this is YOUR *LADDER ASSISTED BEARHUG~!!!!*

Breslin is screaming in pain as he has both the massive arms of Charlie Matthews and the crushing force of the ladder on his back in the deadly bearhug. Through instinct, the Japanese crowd begins an odd chant…

“tsumaranai!”

King: What the hell? Oh…don’t tell me. These ungrateful Japanese! I thought they APPRECIATED wrestling? Well you know what? Damn them to hell. I don’t care if they believe in it or not.

Not listening to the Japanese crowd’s disdain for the bearhug, Charlie Matthews squeezes even harder on the ladder, exerting more force on Breslin’s back. Leo tries to fight the pain, but ultimately stops trying as he slowly goes limp in Grappler’s arms. Matthews ignores this, however, and continues to squeeze, loving every minute of his favorite submission maneuver. He begins to shake the limp Leo Breslin back and forth like a rag doll as the crowd continues to show its disapproval.

Axis: Oh come on, stop this! He’s toying with Leo Breslin…just let go of the damn hold!

King: Why? It’s no disqualifications, and I don’t see how this isn’t legal ANYWAY.

Remembering that this match cannot be won by submission, Matthews lets go of the hold, letting his opponent slump to the canvas. Grappler looks up to the TV Title belt, fifteen feet above the ring. He grabs a ladder from the ground and sets it up, right under the title belt. Holding the ladder, he puts his right foot on the first rung and slowly begins his ascent. However, his trek is halted as the ladder becomes unstable and wobbly, so Grappler has to get off and reinforce it.

Axis: Well, it looks like Leo Breslin just inadvertently bought himself some time!

King: You know that’s really unfair. Championship advantage should be never having to set up the ladder yourself. It’s just a waste of time.

Breslin slowly but surely is able to use the ropes to pull himself up to a standing base, as he eyes Matthews once again starting to make his climb up the ladder. Leo, with a boost of energy, hops up on the ladder right behind Matthews and grabs his right arm, twisting it behind his back, in a hammerlock. He then grabs the tights of Matthews and pulls them, as they both fall backwards from about five feet up to the canvas…with Grappler falling back-first on the other ladder lying in the ring with a loud crash!

Axis: Oh my goodness! Breslin comes back with an awesome belly-to-belly hammerlock suplex from a third of the way up the ladder onto the OTHER ladder!

King: See? If the damn ladders they make for the SJL had been foolproof, then a dangerous, high-risk move like that wouldn’t have happened. In fact, I’d take a gander and say Matthews would have already won the match.

The champion rolls around on the canvas, clutching his back. Leo Breslin is not much better off, as he absorbed the impact and is in quite some pain. As both men remain on the canvas, the Tokyo crowd begins a “Less go Bressin!” chant, hoping to shift the momentum to the side of the challenger. Meanwhile, the ladder wobbles from the impact of the suplex, but is still standing. Breslin uses the ladder to pull himself up, but instead of climbing, he pulls his opponent to his feet and wraps his arms under the arms of Grappler in a double underhook, before falling backwards and drilling his head into the second LADDER with a double-arm DDT!

Axis: Wow! A double-arm DDT on the LADDER by Leo Breslin! That’s going to need MORE than Motrin IB, eh King?

King: Oh, shut up. Breslin is KNOWN for making a brief comeback before eventually succumbing to the almighty power of Charlie Matthews.

Leo lies on his back for a minute, accumulating the energy needed to finally finish this match. He brings himself to a standing position, and steadies the ladder in place, right below the title belt. He then steps onto the first rung, then the next, then the next…making his way closer to the promised land. However, sensing his future in doubt, Grappler summons the energy to reach his feet, and climb up the opposite side of the ladder with Leo Breslin, albeit very slowly.

Axis: This could get VERY interesting in a few moments, King.

Breslin finally reaches the top rung and extends his arms, desperately trying to grab the proverbial brass ring. However, Matthews finally makes it to the top, and the two begin exchanging punches nearly fifteen feet above the mat! However, Matthews is able to bring a clubbing fist over the head of Breslin, doubling him over the ladder. Grappler then locks his arm around his head in a front facelock, before grabbing his tights and lifting him up into the air vertically…

…and shifting his weight, turning Leo into a sitting position, and dropping him OVER TEN FEET TO THE CANVAS WITH A POWERBOMB!

King: DOWN WITH ENTERTAINMENT~! OH YEAH, WHAT A MOVE! This is IT, Axis!

Axis: It was indeed an amazing move, but damn it, Charlie is going to steal this!

However, the impact of Breslin thudding the mat causes the ladder to wobble…and throw Grappler off of it, as he goes flying down, catching the top rope throat first as he crashes to the canvas.

Axis: What a SICK FALL! Unbelievable!

However, to catch his breath, Charlie goes outside the ring and looks under the apron…and produces a steel chair. He slides back in, slowly, and eyes the fallen Breslin. He raises the chair, and brings it DOWN across the exposed midsection of Leo Breslin, causing him to roll around in pain before rolling onto his back.

Axis: And Matthews uses the steel chair!

King: It’s obvious that he’s forgetting all of his ‘ethics’ and letting his primal instinct show. Deep down, Charlie is as ruthless as anyone else on the roster.

Staring a hole through a section of the Japanese audience in the Tokyo Dome, Matthews grasps the chair and lifts it high above his head once more…and sends it CRASHING down across the spine of Leo Breslin. The Japanese crowd lets out a loud “oohwah!” sound as the steel meets spinal cord and Breslin falls to the canvas. Charlie finally tosses the chair out of the ring and brings his right fist into the air, signaling to the crowd that the end is near.

King: YES! It’s Powerbomb time! I can FEEL it, Axis.

Axis: Well, this may be a mistake. The ladder is already set up, and Breslin looks completely out of it. Why doesn’t Grappler just climb up the ladder and claim the prize?

King: It’s all about incapacitating your opponent. Charlie Matthews is such a great champion that he wants to ENSURE that Leo Breslin is down and OUT before climbing the ladder to success.

Matthews brings Leo to his feet and places his head between his legs, before clasping his hands around the midsection of the challenger. Grappler then lifts up into the air, bringing Breslin up into a seated position on his shoulders. However, when this happens, Leo places his feet on the very top rung of the ladder, thanks to the elevation of the Powerbomb. Thinking quickly, he reaches up and grasps the TV Title belt in his hands, which is barely in his reach!

King: What the hell is he doing?

Axis: He wants to win! And if he can just escape the Powerbomb, I think he will!

However, the force of Charlie Matthews is too strong, as he pulls Leo forward, off of the ladder, and CRASHING with unbelievable impact to the mat, back first, as the crowd, for some reason, lets out a huge roar!

*DING DING DING*

King: What the hell? Did the time limit run out?

Axis: Well, that’s a pos- WAIT! LOOK! THE TV TITLE…IT’S IN THE HANDS OF LEO BRESLIN!!!!

King: WHAT?!?! NO! This can’t be!

Matthews backs up, confused as to why the bell rung. He then looks down at the fallen heap of Breslin, and sees it: the Television Title. Matthews almost immediately drops to his knees in shock over what has just happened as Funyon stands and says the sweetest words Leo Breslin has ever heard.

Funyon: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, your winner, AND THE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW SMARKS JUNIOR LEAGUE WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION…LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BRESSSLIN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd bursts into applause and cheers as the official announcement is made. However, out from the back runs James Matheson, sporting a neck brace from his earlier attack. He slides into the ring and SNATCHES the TV Title belt from the hands of Leo Breslin, who is still on the mat. He begins arguing with the referee, as “THAT DOESN’T COUNT!” “THIS ISN’T FAIR!” and “HE DIDN’T WIN!” echo from the boisterous mouth of Grappler’s manager.

Axis: What is he so upset about? That was a perfectly legal win for a ladder match!

King: No, it WASN’T!

Axis: And how was it not?

King: Because……umm, in Japanese ladder matches, you see…um, you have to actually climb the ladder and-

Axis: Oh, forget it. Whether you like it or not, Leo Breslin has ended the TV Title reign of Charlie Matthews at 24 days, and these fans can’t be happier.

King: They’re Japanese; buy them some saké and sushi or something.

Axis: Stop.

However, as James Matheson clutches the TV Title, his meal ticket Charlie Matthews stares at him, before stealing the Title away from him and SHOVING him into the turnbuckle! Grappler then sees Breslin on the mat and extends his arm to him. Leo takes it, reluctantly, but he is pulled to his feet…

…and Charlie hands him the TV Title. “All my Life” fires up over the sound system as Grappler raises the hand of the new TV Champion, as James Matheson looks on in shock.

Axis: There you go, ladies and gentlemen: sportsmanship at its finest.

King: Please. What the hell is Charlie Matthews doing? This is so NOT something he would do.

Axis: Hey, these two men wrestled a hard-fought match, and this is in fact the blow-off for the amazing series of matches they’ve had. So why not end it like this? These two deserve it.

Grappler then nods to Breslin, before grabbing the arm of James Matheson and nearly shoving him out of the ring, before parting between the ropes and walking backstage with his manager.

Axis: And what a match. Ladies and gentlemen, up next, the Maori badass Va’aiga and a partner of his choosing takes on Manson and yada yada… you DON’T want to miss this.

May 23, 2003

Axis: We're backstage again, and I think another guy is going to go for that tag match with Va'aiga

Suicide King: It's Aecas. Aecas can benefit HUGE from a win tonight, he's already #1 contender to the European Title.

Aecas walks in on Va'aiga lacing his boots up in the backstage dressing area. The massive Maori looks up at the #1 contender and smiles.

Va'aiga: Yo.

Aecas: You know what I'm here for.

Va'aiga: Tag partner, right?

Aecas: Right.

Va'aiga shakes his head.

Va'aiga: No way dude. Not gonna happen.

Aecas: Why not? You heard what the bookers said. If I'm on the winning team, I get an advantage in the title match with Tarakanov!

Va'aiga stands and walks out after having finished lacing his boots up, stopping to tap Aecas on the shoulder as he leaves.

Va'aiga: Because, man...

Va'aiga grins...

Va'aiga: You don't need it.

Va'aiga and Aecas exchange knowing looks as Va'aiga walks out the room. Aecas smiles.

Aecas: Yeah.

May 23, 2003

The back hallways of the Tokyo Dome are featured, as trusty cameraman Gus follows none other than Ben Hardy walking down a corridor. The two walk a brisk pace, with Gus huffing and puffing along the way, as they try to catch up to a man decked out in black a few yards in front of them.

"(Hardy) Manson! Manson! May I have a word?"

Manson stops in his tracks and sighs, before slowly turning around, obviously annoyed.

"(Manson) What now, Ben?"

"(Hardy) Manson… Tonight you have a tag team match versus 'The Maori Badass' Va'aiga, who cost you a shot at the World Title on Wrath. But the catch is, you must choose your tag team partners! Have you decided on who your partner will be?"

Manson's eyes light up, at the mention of Va'aiga's name…

"(Manson) Ah yes, Va'aiga. I just have to say that, he shouldn't even have been in the God damned arena on Wrath! I had that match fucking won. Then ::WHAM!:: My lights go out. I get clocked by the steel chair. But of course, even before then, he attacked you, didn't he?"

Ben Hardy becomes nervous…

"(Hardy) Y-yes, he did… "

"(Manson) You have my sympathies, Ben. How that madman is allowed to continue working here, I'll never know."

"(Hardy) He is a fantastic wrestl--"

"(Manson) Save it. You sound like a battered housewife, the kind which keeps going back to her husband. What you are, Ben, is weak. That's why you let the personnel beat up on you. But if you and others would take my words to heart, you'll have enough hate and anger in your heart to burn the world... As for tonight, fate will be a cruel mistress, as by my hand, Va'aiga will be punished for his transgressions against me. He'll pay Ben."

Hardy looks down at the ground, as if thinking to himself. A calm washes over Manson, as he smiles crookedly, and looks straight on into the camera.

"(Manson) As for my tag team partner for tonight. I've chosen a man, who is a former Television Champion. I've chosen a man, who is a former European Champion. I've chosen a man, with possibly as much hate in his heart as me… Sounds good, doesn't it? But you'll just have to wait and see who he is…"

Manson looks back at Hardy and walks away, as Hardy continues eyeing the ground. A light buzz is apparent in the Japanese crowd, as translated words on a screen doesn't quite hold as much impact as hearing it for yourself. But to the fans watching at home, and to Axis and Suicide King at the announce table, the message is loud and clear…

May 23, 2003

Funyon: The following match is scheduled for ONE fall, and is a tag team match covering both the #1 contenderships for the SJL World and European Titles.

Axis: Well this should be an incredible match, King. But who ARE those dream partners going to be?

Suicide King: Well who’d be dumb enough to go along with Va’aiga.

Axis: Va’aiga is one of the federation’s finest athletes, King.

Suicide King: Va’aiga is UNSTABLE, Axis, he’s a liability to himself, and even more so to his teammates.

The house lights drop to pitch black, and red strobes rapidly flash on and off as the thrash metal stylings of The Haunted's "Hate Song" hits. Manson emerges and continues down the ramp immediately, walking with a purpose and absorbing boos from the fans along the way. He rolls in under the bottom rope, and goes straight to his corner, sitting propped against the bottom ropes. Manson smiles to himself awaiting the entrance of his tag partner.

Axis: Who do you think Manson’s tag partner is gonna be, King?

Suicide King: I’m betting on Spike Jenkins. You can’t go wrong with Spike Jenkins.

Drowning Pool's "Sinner" plays as John Duran comes out, intensely staring at the crowd as they boo him, grimacing in anger as he walks down towards the ring. Duran steps over the top rope, drawing a round of respectful ”ooohs” from the local crowd and wipes his hand back through his hair, fixing on referee Matthew Kivell with a steely glare. Duran and Manson exchange knowing glances and Manson cracks a smile.

Axis: It’s JOHN DURAN! The massive brawler. What do think of THAT King?

Suicide King: I knew he was gonna pick Duran, Axis. I mean who better to go up against a powerhouse like Va’aiga than with a powerhouse like Duran. This ain’t gonna be pretty, but it’s gonna be BRUTAL.

The arena drops to darkness, as Va'aiga's shadow appears in the entranceway, dressed in his hooded training top with the hood down. The bassline of "Bring The Pain" by Method Man starts up and red strobe lights pierce the darkness of the entrance ramp as Va'aiga begins his slow walk to the ring, throwing a few phantom jabs on the way. The Smarktron shows images of Va'aiga shadow boxing and posing, cut with some of his biggest in ring hits - Maori Dropping Thor, Maori Dropping a ladder onto Tryst, the chairshot on Spike Jenkins, Maori Dropping John Duran, smashing Crow with a chair, staring off with Janus, smashing the disco ball with his fist to grab the contract inside, Maori Dropping Spike Jenkins. Va’aiga rolls into the ring and looks at Funyon, before staring down at his opponents.

Axis: And who’s VA’AIGA going to pick?

Suicide King: Oh like I’d know. It’s hard to get into the mind of that Maori. Hell it’d take ten hours of exploratory surgery to FIND it.

Dropkick Murphy’s “Barroom Hero” begins to play, the bagpipes begin to blare and then the lyrics start (“Face down in the gutter, won’t admit defeat… those clothes are soiled and black!”). Suddenly, cheap green shamrock confetti falls from the rafters. (“He’s a big, strong man with a child’s mind, don’t you take his booze away!”). Orange and Green pyro blows off to the sides and Tim appears on the stage. Soaking up the cheers he struts down the stage with his arms in a boxer’s defensive pose as he throws a few punches. He then slaps some fans hands and he hands out little Irish flags to his some of the local fans, who wave them with typical Japanese enthusiasm. Dillon slides into the ring and grins.

Suicide King: Tim Dillon? TIM DILLON?

Axis: Va’aiga is used to tagging up with cruiserweights, given the amount of success he’s had with his former tag team partner Va’a, Va’aiga should know what he’s doing with a sub 227 tag partner. Plus I think he sees something he likes in the Irish brawler.

Suicide King: TIM DILLON? There’s great technical wrestlers in this federation, there’s big powerhouse brutes. And Va’aiga goes and picks a drunken brawler. And I don’t mean in a deadly drunken Kung Fu style, Tim Dillon’s been knocking back the black stuff at O’Kurosawa’s genuine Irish bar all day, I bet.

Funyon: In the corner to my right, weighing in at 210lbs and hailing from Denver, Colorado, USA… “The Machine” MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!

A few black and red streamsers are thrown over Manson as he stands slowly.

Funyon: And his tag team partner, weighing in at 265lbs, From Champagne, Illinois JOOOOOOOOOOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Another bunch of black streamers hits the ring as Duran glares out into the audience. The ring crew spend little time clearing them away.

Funyon: And in the opposite corner, from Limerick in the Republic of Ireland, weighing in at 190lbs, TIIIIIIIIIIIM DIIIIIIIIIIIIIILOOOOOOOOOON!

A mass of green and white streamers shower over Dillon as he mimes raising a glass to the crowd. The crowd cheers in response and Dillon grins.

Funyon: And his tag team partner, weighing in at 285lbs, he is the Maori Badass, VAAAAAAAAAAAA’AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIGAAAAAAAAAA

The crowd chants “Vay-in-guh” as a torrent of black and red streamers hits from all sides of the arena filling the ring and covering all six men within. The ring crew clear it up with surprising speed as the bell rings to start the match.

Axis: Well folks it looks very much like it’s going to be Va’aiga and Tim Dillon against Manson and John Duran. And for me King it looks like two evenly matched sides.

Suicide King: Evenly matched, and it’s all Va’aiga’s fault. If he’d have picked another powerhouse he’d have cruised this match with his size advantage. If he’d have picked Spike, he’d have cruised it from his Spike advantage. Instead he goes with the brawler.

Axis: I think Tim Dillon’s style compliments Va’aiga’s, and also the Irish Brawler is the VERY dictionary definition of the word feisty. That man has fire in his belly.

Manson steps out of his corner and beckons the Maori Badass into the ring, and Va’aiga complies by leaping over the top rope and offering Manson a test of strength. Manson thinks about it and tags in Duran, to the boos of the crowd.

Axis: I don’t think that Manson wants any part of the Maori Badass.

Suicide King: It’s not that he doesn’t want to lose, it’s that he doesn’t want to win by having his skull caved in by a chair. Va’aiga has been almightily unstable in these past few weeks.

Va’aiga and Duran lock up and Va’aiga knees Duran in the sternum to loosen Duran’s grip in the collar and elbow. Va’aiga fires a few quick rights to Duran and whips the 260lb powerhouse into the ropes. Duran rebounds quickly and Va’aiga blasts the big man down with an intercepting lariat. Va’aiga grins and drops a quick elbow and covers…

ONE!

TWO!

No! Not even a CLOSE three count.

Suicide King: It’s going to take a lot more than THAT to put down an athlete like John Duran.

Axis: I agree King, but it looked like Va’aiga was trying to steal a quick win there.

Va’aiga waits for Duran to get up and strikes a few body blows into Duran. Va’aiga grabs fort the man in black’s arm again and goes to whip Duran into the ropes again, but Duran reverses and do-see-dos Va’aiga. The big Maori goes flying into the far ropes and bounces back, rushing uncontrollably toward Duran. Duran extends his big boot out and Va’aiga goes crashing into it and drops to the mat. Duran drops a leg across Va’aiga’s chest (without a hint of irony). Duran drops to cover…

ONE!

TWO!

..No! Va’aiga lifts a shoulder again not even getting close to the count of three.

Axis: Far more experienced wrestlers than Va’aiga have fallen to that combination before.

Suicide King: They but that was in OTHER federations, Axis, that sort of offense doesn’t cut it in the SJL.

Va’aiga stands and punches Duran with a hard right hand. Duran punches Va’aiga with his trademark strength in the blow showing through and NEITHER man budges an inch. The crowd cheers for this show of Machismo from the two combatants. Both men bounce themselves off the ropes, but as Va’aiga is rebounding towards Duran, Manson blind tags himself in on Duran’s back. Va’aiga sets for a running tackle on Duran, but Manson uses his speed to interpose himself with a drop toe hold on the flying Maori, and Duran drops an elbow into Va’aiga’s back! Manson and Duran pick Va’aiga up and Manson slips behind into a back waist lock, looking to hit Va’aiga with a German Suplex. Manson can’t lift Va’aiga and Va’aiga looks to free an arm to elbow himself out, but Duran adds himself to the mix, grabbing his hand round Va’aiga’s throat, and the pair hit a combination GERMAN SUPLEX/CHOKESLAM! Manson bridges…

ONE!

TWO!

THR... and Va’aiga kicks out. Tim Dillon bounces eagerly up on the ropes in an Edge-esque fashion, looking for the tag.

Axis: What a devastating maneuver there from Manson.

Suicide King: And it looks like Tim Dillon wants in, the fool!

Axis: Dillon has NEVER backed down from a fight, King. He’s just keep to put the hurt on someone.

Manson lifts Va’aiga up and fires a chop off into Va’aiga’s neck. Va’aiga GRINS. Manson scowls at the Maori Badass and fires off a second and third, then a quick series. Va’aiga stands there and takes the moves LIKE A MAN and then draws back a half pace and near rips off Manson’s head with a lariat! Manson drops to the canvas like a stone, and the crowd cheers.

Va’aiga: MY HOUSE!

Va’aiga lifts Manson up and quickly snaps him over with a big vertical suplex. Va’aiga floats over to cover, but spins, deciding against it and picks an arm. Va’aiga stands, grabbing hold of Manson’s arm, but Manson reverses and Va’aiga goes flying into the ropes. Dillon blind tags himself in as Va’aiga rebounds. Manson is forced to leapfrog Va’aiga as the big Maori ducks, looking for one of his deadly rugby style tackles, and Dillon leaps into the ring setting off for Manson himself. Va’aiga bounces off the far ropes and Dillon off the near and the pair PANCAKE Manson with a pair of sandwiching spears! Dillon takes the mount position and fires off a series of punches as Va’aiga rolls out the ring and returns to his corner.

Axis: Superb takedown there from the team of Dillon and Va’aiga. The rugby skills of both showing with that pair of tackles.

Suicide King: I have to admit, Axis, that was an amazing move. Where did they get that from?

Axis: Well it’s another of Va’aiga’s old tag team moves I believe. They Japanese fans sure appreciate it, especially given the popularity of rugby over here.

Dillon waits for Manson to stand up, sizing up the Hate Personified. The gothic star staggers to his feet and Dillon smashes a massive Irish brawling jab into the gut of the Hate Machine. Dillon follows with a left cross to the head, a solid right jab, a left body hook, a right uppercut, a step back, an IRISH JIG and a BIIIIG right hand. Manson flies down to the mat and Dillon covers…

ONE!

TWO!

TH… and Manson kicks out. Dillon grins and the crowd bursts into “DILL-ON-UH” chants of approval, and Manson staggers backwards to the ropes, tagging in John Duran.

Axis: The fighting Irish in full spirit here in Japan.

Suicide King: You know NOW I understand why Va’aiga gets on so well with Dillon. The pair are nothing but a bunch of thugs. And when DID they make the closed fist punch legal in wrestling, Axis?

Axis: Well…

Suicide King: Never. The referee needs to get control of the match and fast.

Dillon charges Duran and fires off a quick dropkick to his knees then kips up and charges in with a clothesline, staggering Duran and sending the beast up against the ropes. Dillon backs off and bounces himself off the ropes on the other side, firing off a dropkick that sends Duran over the ropes and to the outside. Dillon points to the sky, and the crowd lets off a massive appreciative “ooh”, as Dillon backs up and leaps over the top ropes hitting an ENORMOUS plancha, wiping out Dillon. The crowd claps a solid round of applause.

Axis: A fine dive there from Dillon.

Suicide King: Yeah but that’s on Duran and Manson’s side of the ring, that could be a tactical error!

Manson drops off the ring apron and picks Dillon off the matting, leaving Duran lying there, downed. Manson picks up the fiery Irishman and rams his head against the ring apron. Duran stirs and stands up as Manson whips Dillon into him, and Duran plants Dillon down with a big side slam! Dillon flops down on the ringside matting.

Suicide King. Just what I like, a bit of good old fashioned double teaming.

Axis: Yeah but that’s blatantly bending the rules, if not breaking them outright.

Suicide King: And that changes my opinion on it how.

Axis: Keep your eyes on the big Maori though!

Va’aiga leaps into the ring, seeing the double teaming that Dillon is taking on the other side of the ring. Despite the protestations of the referee, Va’aiga starts his run up and rushes across the ring, shooting himself out with the BIG UGLY SLINGSHOT MAORI PLANCHA OF DOOM! All three men outside get wiped out by the unguided Maori missile, and the four lay on the canvas, picking themselves up. The crowd oohs and aahs at the move and the aftermath.

Suicide King: Oh my god. Did you see that, Axis, Va’aiga just wiped EVERYBODY out with that move.

Axis: Va’aiga lifting a play from Dillon’s book there. And MY it wasn’t pretty.

Suicide King: But effective, Axis.

Dillon is the first to extricate himself from the pile, and rolls into the ring, and the other three follow. Matthew Kivell orders Va’aiga back to the corner, but while the referee’s back is turned Manson slaps on an abdominal stretch and Duran has a chance to fire some unblocked blows into Dillon’s stomach. The crowd protests with a round of boos as Manson hits a backbreaker on Dillon, and Duran follows with a quick elbow drop, and Manson sneaks out of the ring as Kivell turns to see Duran’s cover….

ONE!

TWO!

TH.. and Dillon lifts a shoulder.

Axis: The terrier like Dillon shows a desire to fight on in this match. He’s a hard man to pin, he’s even a hard man to take down!

Suicide King: Dillon can take it and take it, but he often has to cos let’s face it Axis, he doesn’t exactly strike awe into you for his prowess in dealing punishment.

Axis: He’s a street brawler plain and simple. And that’s all he’s ever needed to get by.

John Duran grabs Dillon to his feet roughly and shrugs his shoulders, flexing his muscular upper body. Duran grabs Dillon and whips him into the ropes, catching him on the rebound with another massive side slam. Duran drops down and grabs Tim Dillon by the throat and picks him up off the ground, throwing the Irish brawler into his own corner with a dismissive choke toss. Duran charges into the corner with a rapid spear, crushing Dillon up against the turnbuckles with his shoulder, then backs off a step and pummels a series of rapid body blows into Tim Dillon’s chest. Duran DDTs Dillon out of the corner, and tags in Manson, making sure to add some extra stomps on the way out.

Axis: I gotta say this has been a very fast paced match, King.

Suicide King: Well yeah, you get this sort of fast paced action in the SJL, it’s the only place where this sort of wild action occurs any more.

Manson leaps up to the top rope and bounces down off the second, Quebradaing into the ring, and landing square on the fallen Dillon. The referee drops to count…

ONE!

TWO!

TH.. and Dillon lifts a shoulder. Manson lifts Dillon up off the mat by the leg, and Dragon Screws the hopping Dillon down, popping the Crowd.

Manson: SHUT UP!

Axis: I don’t think Manson likes the attention of the fans.

Suicide King: You hit a move that’s so popular in Japan, you get attention even if you ARE a machine of Hate.

Manson floats over into a back mount and fires off a couple of elbows into the back of Dillon’s head, before lifting Dillon up into a back waist lock and firing off a quick German suplex. Manson jackknifes over into a cover

ONE!

TWO.. and Manson puts his feet up onto the bottom rope for extra leverage..

THRE.. NO! Matthew Kivell spots Manson’s cheating and orders him to drop his feet down again as Dillon breaks the cover. Manson glares at the referee and picks up Dillon again, whipping him back into Manson and Duran’s corner. Manson tags in Duran and holds Dillon in a double chickenwing, as Duran lands a few more body blows in. Matthew Kivell has a quick word with Manson and Manson glowers again as he drops out of the ring and Duran steps in to take over again.

Suicide King: Quick tags, the secret to tag team success. And they’re cutting the ring in half by keeping Dillon in their own corner. It’s all sound strategy.

Axis: Do you think it will carry them to a win and a Manson title shot?

Suicide King: Well yeah, sound strategy, and a little rule bending are two of the three keys to winning.

Axis: What’s the third?

Suicide King: Watching as many tapes of me as possible!

Duran grabs Dillon and shoves him down to the mat, using his massive size advantage, but Dillon pops right back up and fires off a quick series of left hand blows! Dillon stages Duran with his brawling, adding a few slaps, and finishes off the combination with a BLATANT eye rake, drawing a cheer from the crowd and a grin from the Gaelic fighter. Dillon goes to whip Duran, but Duran do-see-dos and hits the rebounding Duran with an Anderson-like spinebuster! Duran drops to cover…

ONE!

TWO!

THR… and Dillon kicks out. Duran drags Dillon back to his corner and tags in Manson again.

Axis: More sound tag strategy, and shades of Arn Anderson with that spinebuster there.

Suicide King: Shades of.. you’ll be saying Spaaaahn on the Paaaahn soon, by gawd!

Manson fires a few kicks at the grounded Dillon and lifts him up by the hair, so Dillon is kneeling. Manson draws breath inwards and hits a seated dropkick, sprawling Dillon out, and kips up, stalking Dillon, waiting for the Irishman to get to his feet. Dillon staggers up and Manson grins and launches in at Dillon, snapping him over with a quick snap suplex and floating over to cover…

ONE!

TWO!

THR… and Dillon kicks out.

Axis: The tenacity, the spirit of Tim Dillon! What DO you have to do to keep the Irish Brawler down?

Suicide King: 15 pints of the black stuff? 20?

Manson stomps away at Dillon, forcing the Irish brawler to roll away and stand again, and Manson charges in with another set of rapid fire kicks, adding a few chops for effect. Manson grabs Dillon across the throat and with a half twist throws Dillon down uranage-style. Manson thinks about a cover but then stands up and gives Dillon a look of utter contempt and disdain. Manson lifts Dillon up and over his shoulder, then sits out into the Call of Cthulu! Dillon lays sprawling as Manson moves over to his corner and tags in Duran again.

Axis: The Call of Cthulu! Dillon should be down and out!

Suicide King: You know if that move WAS done by a 180ft high bat winged squid headed monster, it’d be a lot more dangerous.

Axis: That IS true but…

Suicide King: Personally I think Cthulu gets too high a press… Hail Shub Niggurath!

Axis: Are you feeling okay, King?

Suicide King: Yes I’m perfectly fine.

Duran steps over the ropes into the ring again and walks over to the fallen Dillon. Duran drags Dillon up again and locks in a full nelson, glaring out into the crowd. Dillon squirms in the hold and Duran hits THE POINT BREAK! Duran locks in the hold part of the move on the ground and squeezes his legs around Dillon as hard as he can. Duran screams for Dillon to tap, and Dillon responds with a definitive NO!

Axis: It has to be hard to get the pressure on such a thin man as Tim Dillon with that hold.

Suicide King: That and the Irish Brawler is too stupid to know when to quit. He’s got more fight in him than a Baltimore Ravens training camp!

Va’aiga leaps over the top rope and stomps Duran until he breaks the hold. Matthew Kivell goes over to protest with Va’aiga and tries to send the Maori Badass back to his own corner. Va’aiga protests and tries to get round the referee and get to the fallen Dillon, being stomped on by Duran. Manson slaps HIS OWN hand and leaps into the ring. The crowd boos this blatantly illegal tactic. Manson charges over to Dillon and joins Duran in stomping down on the unfortunate Irishman. Kivell finally succeeds in getting Va’aiga out of the ring and turns back to the action.

Axis: Illegal tag! There was no tag there, King!

Suicide King: You didn’t see that tag? You’re losing your sight Axis! Ringside help! Glasses for Axis!

Manson picks up Tim Dillon off the mat and snaps off a quick swinging neckbreaker, planting Dillon down on the mat. Manson waits a few precious second for Dillon to stir then the Hate Machine runs at the far ropes and rebounds off with a springboard dropkick, planting Dillon solidly across the face. Manson grimaces and picks Dillon off the matwith first one arm, then the other. Manson applies a standing head scissors and hammerlocks both Dillon’s arms, then PLANTS Dillon down to the mat with his THRILL KILL double arm DDT! Manson covers as the crowd lets him know what they think with a massive round of boos…

ONE!

TWO!

THR… and Dillon kicks out AGAIN!

Axis: My god, Tim Dillon kicked out of the Thrill Kill! Tim Dillon is PURE heart! I’m not sure that ANYTHING can stop Dillon if he keeps kicking out like that.

Suicide King: Dillon should just give up! This is a severe beating Dillon has taken!

Axis: But no man, NO man in the SJL takes a beating like Tim Dillon can. The Gaelic brawler is IMPOSSIBLY tough, especially for a man his size!

Manson grabs Dillon off the mat by the hair and slaps him across the face, drawing another round of boos from the crowd. Manson applies the side headlock to Dillon and lifts him up high above his head in a suplex, before sending him crashing down to the mat, sitting out and dropping the Irishman between his legs face first.

Axis: That’ll bend your mind

Suicide King: If it doesn’t blow it first. What a move by the Hate Machine.

Manson drops to the canvas and giving an evil smile out to the crowd, locks in his elevated half crab! The crowd starts up a “Dill-on-uh” chant as the Irish Brawler squirms in pain with the hold locked in tight. Dillon wriggles and earns himself a little more leverage and giving him space to claw his way towards the ropes.

Axis: HATE BECOMING! This could be it for both Dillon and Va’aiga’s title hopes.

Dillon slaps the mat as he drags himself slowly towards the ropes surrounding his own corner. Mason grimaces as he can feel the pressure of the hold beneath him being lowered. Duran shouts out words of encouragement from his own corner as Va’aiga stretches out looking for a tag. Dillon inches ever so slowly towards his friendly corner as Manson’s face is contorted into a near scream as he applies all the pressure he can muster in the deadly Crab hold.

Axis: The pain for Tim Dillon must be excruciating. While the two big men in this match are stuck on the ring apron, the fate of two SJL titles could be decided in this one hold.

Suicide King: The tension is killing me Axis. No wait, its killing Dillon. I’m enjoying it.

Dillon moves almost inexorably slowly as he fights the pressure of the hold, but the tough as nails Irishman will NOT quit and will NOT stop moving, however slowly towards his corner. Manson calls out for the ref to ask Dillon if he wants to quit, and Dillon responds in defiant Gaelic…

Tim Dillon: POGUE MAHONE!

Suicide King: De he just tell him to…?

Axis: Kiss his, ehem, rear end, yes King he did.

Dillon nearly reaches the corner, ever so slowly and Manson is reduced to slowly standing, grabbing desperately hold of Tim Dillon’s leg to try and stop him from reaching the corner. Dillon gets up to a standing base and hops on his free leg, smiling at Manson. Manson drops the leg and takes a swing for Dillon and the feisty Gael ducks backwards and fires a few quick stunning punches at Manson, rocking the Hate Machine backwards before tagging in Va’aiga.

Axis: Here comes the Maori.

Suicide King: Like Suicide King Day at the t-shirt stand, business is about to pick up!

Va’aiga LEAPS over the top rope into the ring and rushes the staggering Manson, taking him down with a lightning fast shoulder tackle. John Duran hops over the top rope to help his ailing colleague deal with the Maori threat, only to be met by a running shoulder tackle himself! Manson staggers to his feet again, and Va’aiga spins 180 degrees and shoulder tackles HIM again. Duran stands slowly using the ropes to help him and Va’aiga spears the big man again, dropping Duran to the canvas. The crowd cheers wildly

Va’aiga: TUTEA!

Suicide King: Did he just swear?

Axis: I don’t know, King, I don’t speak Maori.

Va’aiga waits for both his opponents to stand up before firing a MASSIVE left cross into the large form of John Duran. A second left cross wings it’s way Mansonwards. A third goes back in the direction of Duran. Va’aiga pauses for a second to kiss his balled right fist for luck and hits MASSIVE right hooks, sending Manson slumped into Va’aiga’s corner, and Duran flying out of the ring, over the top rope with consecutive thunderous blows.

Axis: My God, King, Va’aiga is just UNLOADING on the team of Duran and Manson.

Suicide King: He’s a big bad Maori house of fire.

Va’aiga lifts Manson off the mat and whips him against the ropes, grabbing the gothic one as he rebounds and flapjacking him up to a clear 8 foot off the ground, before watching the Hate Machine pancake into the canvas. Va’aiga lifts Manson up and slaps on a standing head scissors, lifting him up and POWERING him down into the mat with a forceful Powerbomb. Va’aiga thinks about going for the cover, but instead looks up to the top rope and points at Dillon! The crowd goes INSANE!

Axis: Va’aiga is looking to call in Dillon! What is the Maori Badass thinking of.

Suicide King: He’s not going for what I think he’s going for.

Axis: Whenever you say that King, he usually is…

Suicide King: Oh dear.

After tagging Dillon quickly, Va’aiga grabs Manson in the wheelbarrow setup position as Dillon ascends to the top rope. Va’aiga drops Manson down with an inverted power bomb as Dillon comes off the top rope with a swing of a leg downwards, Ax kick style across the back of Manson’s neck.

Axis: SUPER DECAPITATOR! SUPER DECAPITATOR!

Dillon covers as Va’aiga rushes over to spear Duran again, preventing John Duran from interfering with Dillon’s cover…

ONE!

TWO!

THREE! The bell rings. Va’aiga hoists Dillon up onto his shoulders, showing the massive size difference between the wiry Celt and the massive Maori. Dillon leaps off and poses for the massively appreciative crowd and then signals over to the time keepers table. The timekeeper send two cans of Guinness arcing into the ring, one of which is caught by Dillon, the other by Va’aiga. The pair toast each other and chug down.

Suicide King: They’re drinking two cans of the black stuff, so they are!

Axis: Tim Dillon is the new #1 contender to the European title! Va’aiga is the new #1 contender to the SJL World Title! As to find out who Va’aiga is going to face next, stay tuned for Viktor Tarakanov versus Crow!

May 23, 2003

Fade in from commercial.

The long ass death metal masterpiece that we all know as Edge Of Sanity"s "Crimson" blares through the speakers of television sets all throughout the world as everyone"s favourite wrestling show returns from the break...

"...this is S! J! L! Crimson back from the commercial break! And we are coming to you live from the Tokyo Dome in Japan! What a night of wrestling action it has been, tonight we have already seen the debut of some new blood and the crazy ladder match for the Television title! And let"s not forget about the pick a partner tag team match, wow, I didn"t expect what happened in that match!"

"Of course you didn"t, Axis. You"re a schmuck."

"Oh, is that a fact""

"Yes."

"... well, alright. Anyway fans, it is now time for the MAIN EVENT! And my oh my do we have an interesting main event for you guys. Crow, the Antichrist Superstar, will be defending his World Heavyweight Title against a man who has really impressed in the SJL recently, racking up a bunch of victories, and this man is that damn commie... Viktor Tarakanov."

"It"s not a normal match up though, Axis."

"Indeed it is not, but let"s hand it over to Funyon, so he can explain it."

The camera cuts to a long shot of a neatly dressed man standing in the ring holding a microphone in one hand and a card in the other. After waiting for the crowd to settle, he brings the microphone up to his lips...

"Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is the Vodka Shot Match for the Smartmarks Junior Leagues... World Heavyweight Championship! The rules for this match are as such, there will be no disqualification or countouts and every ninety seconds, and both competitors must have a shot of Vodka. The match can be won via a pinfall, submission or a knockout."

The Japanese crowd applauds politely for Funyon"s introduction, even though some may not even understand.

"Introducing first, the challenger..."

*BOOOOOM!*

An explosion of flashing red pyrotechnics goes off on the entrance ramp as the Soviet National Anthem begins to purr through the arena speakers. "The Red Rage" Viktor Tarakanov walks out from behind the entrance curtain looking quite cold, as per usual, and checks the tightness of his wrist tape before beginning his walk down to the ring. The crowd does not boo as Viktor Tarakanov approaches the ring and takes a moment to survey the crowd, there are no Americans to sneer at and thus, he walks up the steel steps and enters the ring. He paces around the ring, awaiting the arrival of the champion, whilst his theme music fades out.

A brief moment of silence until...

"WAIT FOR CHAOS! WAIT FOR WARFARE! AT THE POINT OF NO RETURN! BLEED FOR MONEY! BLEED FOR JUSTICE! GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL WITH WOUNDED SSSSSOOOOOUUUUUUUULLLL!!"

The crowd claps heavily and some cheers are heard as the Antichrist Superstar steps out from behind the entrance curtain with unlit cigarette and gold plated Zippo lighter in his right hand and an opened bottle of Smirnoff Vodka in his left hand. The champion takes a swig of the Vodka and places the cigarette in his mouth... he flicks the Zippo open by driving it backwards on his leg and then drives it forward against his leg, causing the flame to appear. Crow lights the cigarette and takes a large drag, an inhale... he throws his arms out horizontal in the crucifix pose and throws his head back, exhaling the smoke and setting off the line of fire on the ramp way!

"I think the champ"s getting in the drinking mood tonight, King!"

"I don"t believe that"s the smartest idea ever, Axis. Think about it, you daft idiot. A Russian has three shots of Vodka with breakfast, with lunch AND with dinner. Should Crow really start drinking before the match" His opponent obviously has the advantage."

"Maybe so, but don"t doubt Crow, King. He"s quite the drinker."

The Antichrist Superstar walks down to the ring, slowly up the steel steps and into the ring, he does bother to put out his cigarette and instead keeps on smoking it as the referee removes his belt and holds it up in the air to a good ol" Japanese cheer. There are two other referees in the ring, making a total of three... how very odd.

"Now folks, there will be three referees involved in this match up, one to referee the match up and the others will simply be filling the shot glasses of Vodka and giving them to the competitors."

Axis to the rescue, and now, the Antichrist Superstar and the Red Rage stand face to face with each other in the middle of the ring. Well, they would be if Crow were not four inches shorter, nevertheless the two men trade some words, obviously not being of the nicest nature. Crow shows no signs of backing down, and instead he just calmly smokes away on his cigarette and drinks from his bottle of Vodka. Although, this does not last for long, as Viktor must have said something naughty about Crow"s mother, cause goddamn! The Antichristian Phenomenon just kneed the big man in the crotch!

*DING! DING! DING!*

"Aha! Crow just smacked the Red Rage in the nuts!"

And down to his knees Viktor Tarakanov falls!

"Bad idea, Crow! Bad idea!"

Crow follows up the move by taking a step back, taking a swig of his Vodka, and lining his opponent"s head up and.... CRACK! STIFF Das Wunder Kick! Viktor is smacked silly by this kick and slumps backward onto the mat, allowing Crow to discard his bottle and go for the early pin. The bottle rolls around the ring until it finally stops underneath the turnbuckle... cover!

ONE!

.

..

...

NOOOOOOOO!

"And Viktor Tarakanov kicks out at two!"

But the kick doesn"t keep Viktor smacked silly for long as the big man realises his peril and powers Crow off his chest almost immediately after he got shoulder up. The Antichrist Superstar is shocked as the Russian monster rises to a vertical base with little effort, the kick did not phase him for too long... and that"s even more apparent now as throws a HUGE punch at Crow"s face!

"Whoa, Axis! Now that is what I call strength, he just kicked out of one of the stiffest Das Wunder Kicks Crow"s thrown!"

Crow is thrown back, the force of the punch causing his head to snap back viciously, but he is quickly brought back and locked into a tight headlock. The Red Rage tenses the muscles in his arm, squeezing Crow"s head and trying to compact it, no man can possibly take this for much longer. The Antichristian Phenomenon is well aware of this and begins to back into the ropes.... and pushes Viktor off! Viktor Tarakanov runs into the opposing ropes, bounces off... but only to meet a Crow clothesline!

...which seemingly did nothing at all to the Russian because he stands his ground and just looks at Crow! The champion is confused and decides the best course of action to take is to hit him with another clothesline! And that he does! But the Red Rage isn"t going down, he"s still standing and doesn"t look at all hurt or affected by Crow"s measly clothesline!

"The Red Rage is showing Crow that he"s not affected by such offence from a smaller and weaker man, he"s gotta step it up!"

"Right, King. Crow has to use something other than power to get Tarakanov, element of surprise or speed maybe""

Thus, he decides to show Crow just how to hurt somebody... and throws a HUGE right hand to the champion"s face, causing him to be thrown backwards and into the ropes. The Antichrist Superstar stumbles forward... straight into another huge right hand thrown by Tarakanov! Once again, the bird goes flying backwards into the ropes and stumbles back out, but this time... he is taken out by the Iron Curtain! The force of the clothesline causes Crow to flip in the air and lands smack bang on his stomach! The two referees waiting on the outside open their bottles of Vodka and begin to fill up a pretty large shot glass in preparation for the 90 second mark which is pretty near. Viktor Tarakanov looks down and watches the fallen form of Crow attempt to rise to a standing base... but decides against allowing this and stomps his boot down on Crow"s back.... he"s stomping a damn mud hole! Once done with the mudhole stomping, Tarakanov places his boot on Crow"s skull and presses it down to the mat whilst the first shots of Vodka are being served up. The referees slide into the ring, amazingly able to not spill the vodka in the shot glass and hand the shots to each man, respectively.

"Those are some big glasses, Axis."

"Oh yeah, bigger than normal shot glass and plus King, this Vodka was specially made by Smirnoff for the SJL... meaning, a much higher alcohol level! These guys are going to get pretty pissed."

Viktor takes his boot off Crow"s skull and walks into the center of the ring to indulge in a shot of his favourite beverage. Crow quickly knocks down the shot whilst Viktor quite calmly smells his Vodka and seemingly daydreams about the times in Russia, and this allows Crow to sneak up behind the Russian...

...Tarakanov knocks down the shot but Crow immediately sends him face first to the mat with a double leg rear takedown! Knowing that Viktor is by far the stronger wrestler; the champion realises that he must end this match as quickly as possible. The Red Rage is on all fours coughing as Crow caught him just as the Vodka was going down, utilising this moment of weakness, Crow wraps Viktor"s right arm around his and grabs the left arm with his own arms... and hops over! Forcing Tarakanov"s shoulders to be pinned to the mat in La Majistral cradle!

ONE!

.

..

...

TWO!

.NOOOOOOOOOO!

"Ooooooh! Viktor Tarakanov manages to get free out of the pin in time!"

Crow is quickly back up while Viktor is just a bit slower getting up, and it costs him as Crow unloads a brutally stiff roundhouse kick to the Russian"s side! The Red Rage tries to protect that side, and upon doing so, leaves open his other side and of course, Crow capitalises on this as he throws his leg back...

...and launches it forward in the STIFFEST Das Wunder Kick to date!

"Jesus Christ, that was even stiffer than the one earlier, King! He"s gotta be getting lessons from Nathaniel Kibigami..."

Viktor can"t do any but attempt to protect himself any way possible as Crow unleashes a devilish barrage of roundhouse kicks upon his opponent"s body! Legs, sides, arms and head! Somehow, the Russian man is still standing... he"s still one tough motherfucker even though a smaller man is backing him into the ropes. The Antichrist Superstar latches onto an arm and Irish whips the Red Rage into the opposite ropes... Viktor comes off, but Crow drops down trying to trip the big man over... but it is not to be as the Russian expected the move and steps over the body lying on the canvas and comes off the opposite ropes. Tarakanov hunches over and thrust his shoulder forward, looking to take the Antichristian Phenomenon down with a spear, but Crow manages to leap frog the charging bull and let him keep on running! Viktor Tarakanov manages to bounce off the ropes once again except it was for a fell cause, as he"s taken down in a technically perfect drop toe hold trip! Crow jumps back up fast and in one fluid motion jumps up in the air, extends his leg and hits a big leg drop on Tarakanov"s chest! He rolls backwards, turns around, jumps onto the second ropes, bunches his legs and springboards off! Corkscrewing and somersaulting in the air... he lands back first on the fallen Tarakanov with a beautiful senton!

"Wow! Axis, I ain"t no Crow supporter, but that was quite an impressive little sequence there!"

Big cheers and claps from the Japanese crowd, appreciative of such a fine sequence of wrestling. The Antichrist Superstar clutches at his back after the move whilst the Red Rage does the similar, but with his stomach. Crow has been lucky thus far however, he is quite the weaker man in this match up and with this still sober mind set, targets Tarakanov"s legs. The champion grabs Viktor"s right leg and steps around it, trying to set up for the figure four leg lock... but no! The Red Rage pushes his boot into Crow"s bottom and sends him face first into ropes! The champion stumbles back...

...and is taken down to the canvas with a school boy roll up!

ONE!

.

..

...

TWO!

.

.NNOOOOOOOOOO!

"The champion escapes the roll up just before the three!"

"He was lucky, Axis. Tarakanov caught him by surprise there..."

The referees on the outside again start to fill up the shot glasses they managed to salvage from the ring after the superstars did their business. Both men are hastily up, but surprisingly, this time it"s Tarakanov who is up quicker... however they don"t lunge at other, instead... Viktor extends his arm and motions for a test of strength. His fingers flail and Crow, for some unknown bloody reason, accepts the deal and slowly starts to move his hands towards Tarakanov"s... tedious... tedious.... and they grasp each other"s hand and immediately the other hands roar towards each other and clench! The referees on the outside are now sliding into the ring with their amazing non-spilling skill and are beckoning the wrestler"s to let go of the test of strength! But neither man is going to and Viktor is gaining the advantage in the test of strength, Crow managed to keep his own in the contest for a couple of... seconds. Viktor yells at one of the referees to feed him to Vodka, and he does, Viktor opens his mouth and he just throws the liquid down his throat. Almost like spinach to Popeye, Tarakanov immediately pushes Crow down closer to the ground, further show casing his superior strength. Crow hasn"t yet been fed his Vodka, and thus the referees take the initiative and tell the champion to open his mouth. The Antichrist Superstar obliges as he knows its part of the match rules and he will lose the match if he does not knock down a shot of the alcohol, even in this compromising position. The referees empty the Vodka into Crow"s mouth... but no swallow is seen or heard because instead, Crow spits the Vodka into Tarakanov"s eyes! Blinding him with the STINGING alcohol and making him let go out of the test of strength!

"Did he just spit the Vodka into his eyes!" He did, the cheat! DQ him, he didn"t drink the vodka!"

The Antichrist Superstar hops up to a starting base, and to make up for not knocking down the shot grabs the bottle in one of the referee"s hand and takes a couple a swigs.

"But he"s making up for it, King!"

He hands it back and decides to take advantage of the blinded Tarakanov, who is stumbling around the ring rubbing his eyes intensely. Crow thrusts his boot forward into the gut of the Red Rage and pulls him in for a tight front face lock...

...and drives his head into the canvas with a big DDT! The Antichristian Phenomenon doesn"t let go of the front face lock however, he keeps a hold of it and pulls Viktor back up... and nails another big DDT! He holds on one more time, but this time he grabs a hold of Viktor"s black and red tights... and snaps him over quick as lightning in a very impressive snap suplex! Crow floats over for the cover!

ONE!

.

..

...

TWO!

.

NOOOOOOOO!

"VIKTOR TARAKANOV KICKS OUT AT TWO! Once again, Crow pulling out some great offence and showing a surprising shot of strength with that snap suplex."

The Antichrist Superstar grabs a clump of Viktor"s hair and wrenches him up to a standing base, and with a latch onto the arm, he whips the Russian into the ropes. Tarakanov comes off the ropes and tries to clothesline Crow, but the champion is obviously ready for this assault and ducks under the arm, swinging around to Viktor"s back and applying a waistlock. But no! Viktor counters into a waistlock of his own, summons all his heave... and with a heave german suplexes Crow overhead! Noooooo! Crow counters outs of the move and lands of his feet, in a rush; he wraps his arm around Viktor"s neck and hooks the leg... he"s trying for a Russian Leg Sweep! Nooooo! Tarakanov clocks Crow in the side of the head with a big Russian elbow, but Crow isn"t going to release the leg sweep set up... that is until, Viktor hits another elbow and then DRIVES Crow"s head into his knee! The Antichrist Superstar jettisons up from the knee strike but isn"t allowed to stumble back that far, because the Red Rage latches onto an arm and pulls him back in... straight into a raised knee! Crow stumbles back out again but is pulled back into another raised knee! Viktor unleashes the Russian Rage and starts to unload big knee strikes into Crow"s stomach! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! Five knee strikes in succession!

"Beautiful shoot fighting style knee strikes, I"ve seen some of his stuff from Russia, Axis, and this guy really is impressive."

The referees on the outside fill up the rather oversized shot glasses, preparing for the next round of drinks! Which is happening right about.... now! The referees slide into the ring with the shots and hand them to the men, Viktor standing up and Crow lying on the ground in pain. Tarakanov takes his time (much like he did the first round of drinks) and sniffs calmly at the Vodka, knowing that Crow is definitely not going to get up... and not get up is exactly right, because the champion quickly knocks down his glass and continues to writhe in agony. Viktor finally drinks his shot of Smirnoff and turns his attention back to Crow, and now it seems, the alcohol might be starting to have an effect on the boys... as Viktor has quite the little smile on his face... and his cheeks are turning a shade of red. The Red Rage now has a new meaning as he wrenches Crow up by the blacken locks, and I kid you not, pulls some hair out of the champion"s skull in the process!

"Ooooh, reminiscent of a previous title defence involving Manson for Crow right about now."

The Antichrist Superstar cries out in pain as he"s thrown into the corner and punched repeatedly, his hair is still being wrenched by Tarakanov and this also causes a large amount of discomfort. Crow"s saving grace is the alcohol though, because the pain is somewhat lessened... but suddenly, the pain diminishes... and something else begins to diminish, and that is Crow"s air supply! The Russian Monster has shoved his foot into Crow"s throat and is pressing him back against the turnbuckles, he is relentless in his attack and continues to push harder and harder into the champion"s throat. In a very short amount of time, the Antichristian Phenomenon"s feet start to flail almost begging for mercy, but the referee can"t do anything, this match is no disqualification, and it seems that Viktor Tarakanov is a violent drunk. The Red Rage though, eventually removes his leg and continues his attack by Irish whipping Crow into the opposing corner. The champion hits the turnbuckle back first and with such force that he falls face first into the mat! Viktor hurriedly runs over to the fallen Antichrist Superstar, and wraps his arms around Crow"s stomach...

...and with a heave gutwrenches him over and slam! Down with the side gutwrench suplex! Tarakanov hooks the leg and pins the shoulders...

ONE!

.

..

...

TWO!

.

..

...

..

NOOOOOOOOOO!

"CROW KICKS OUT AT TWO! A very good move from Viktor and even more impressive kick out from Crow, I don"t think I couldn"t have been able to kick out of that."

"Yeah, but you only have one leg... idiot."

Viktor Tarakanov doesn"t question the count and instead just focuses on kicking Crow"s ass some more, he"s Russian, and he likes VODKA AND VIOLENCE! Once again, using the blacken locks present on Crow"s head, Tarakanov wrenches the champion up to a standing base.... a latch onto the arm and an Irish whip into the turnbuckles! The Antichrist Superstar hits the corner face first and he starts to stumble back out... but is only slammed back into the turnbuckles by a huge Russian mass! A big running splash by Viktor causes Crow to shout out in pain, and following up, the Russian grabs a hold of Crow"s blackened locks once again and starts slamming his head into the top turnbuckle! Viktor is feeling a little drunk so he decides to count along...

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FIVE!"

"SIX!"

"SEVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH MY BALLS!"

"What the fuck did he say!""

The Antichristian Phenomenon nails Viktor in the crotch with a backward kick! The Russian"s eyes explode open as he clutches at his testicular region, that is the second time in this match that Crow has targeted the area!

"I think he said "Ow my balls", King!"

Capitalising on his sneaky counter, the champion applies a looser than normal front face lock, the alcohol is starting to get to Crow too, it seems. Sitting up on the turnbuckle and twirling his index finger in the air he calls for the Murderous DDT and the Japanese crowd applauds for this, as they all love their wrestlers flying through the air. The Antichrist Superstar jumps off the turnbuckle, swings around and...

... gets his feet planted on the ground, Tarakanov uses his strength to keep Crow down! Crow tries to jump up again, but Tarakanov manages to suppress the jump! The two men struggle around the ring, Crow tries to jump up and nail the DDT whilst Viktor just tries to escape the front face lock... and they"re nearing the ropes. The Antichrist Superstar jumps up in the air...

...BUT GETS THROWN TO THE OUTSIDE BY THE RED RAGE! VIKTOR TARAKANOV COUNTERS THE FRONT FACE LOCK BY JUST THROWING CROW TO THE OUTSIDE!

"Since the Japanese crowd is unlikely to do this, I think King and I should do the honours."

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

Crow lands face first on the cold, unforgiving thin padding that is merely there to provide a classier look than concrete. It"s time for Vodka! The referees each go to the wrestlers, one inside the ring to Tarakanov and one outside the ring to Crow... and the shots are down! Even though, Crow"s had to be forced down because he"s barely able to move, let alone move his neck back! The Red Rage cracks his neck and slides out of the ring to the outside, there lies Crow, stirring slightly, but he may just be having muscle spasms, it"s not important because the Russian is quick to attack again. Viktor Tarakanov lifts Crow up to a standing base and scoops him up in the air, with the champion in his arms, he walks over to the steel steps...

...and drops him face first on to the steel steps! The Antichrist Superstar jettisons off the steel steps and lands awkwardly on the floor, and still, he is given no rest as once again, the Russian lifts him up to a vertical stance. Knee to the stomach from the Red Rage and Crow has doubled over from the force of the blow.... Viktor wraps his arms around Crow"s waist.... AND HEAVES HIM UP! HE"S TRYING FOR THE BOLSHEVIK REVOLUTION!!

.

..

...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Crow slides out of the move and ends up behind the huge frame of the Red Rage, and seeing his opportunity, the champion pushes the Russian into the ring post... and pulls him back... and pushes him back into it! Crow"s getting some payback and it"s a bitch... and now Viktor"s gonna realise that even more so than before, because the champion is lining him up...

*CRACK!*

...for the STIFF roundhouse kick! And another roundhouse kick! Another! Another! And another! Crow has gotten back in the game now! He pushes the commie back against the steel railing and rears his arm back....

*SMACK!*

Left Handed Knife Edged Chop!

*SMACK!*

Right Handed Knife Edged Chop!

*SMACK!*

Left Chop!

*SMACK!*

Right Chop!

"A flurry of strike offence from the champion! Unloading viciously!"

"What"s he doing now, Axis""

But the Antichrist Superstar is merciful and turns away from the Russian... too bad for Viktor, he only does this to scrummage under the ring and pull out a GLASS LIGHT TUBE! The Japanese crowd claps and cheers for the sighting of such a weapon, now it"s time for some violence! Crow takes the baseball swing back...

...and throws it forward! SMASHING IT ACROSS THE STOMACH OF VIKTOR TARAKANOV! Major mark out moment for the crowd, LOOK AT THE BLLLLOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!

"GLASS LIGHT TUBE ATTACK! Crow"s favourite weapon!"

"Ooow... poor Viktor!"

The Antichrist Superstar throws his arms out in the crucifix pose and laughs sadistically much to the delight of the crowd but much to the disdain of the Red Rage! Tarakanov yells out in pain as he hunches over and tries to pick away some of the glass stuck in his stomach, but Crow doesn"t let him remove the glass for long... because he screams at Viktor to get up, to get back up on to his feet! Being the proud (and drunk) man Viktor Tarakanov is, he"s not going to stay down and let Crow abuse him, thus he gets back up... but only to be ploughed over the top of the railing with a big spear! The bird swooped on his enemy to protect his baby... his world championship belt. The two men both lie in a heap in the ringside seating section and time passes... and you know what that means... it"s VODKA TIME! The referees fill up their shot glasses with the sweet, sweet alcohol and feed them to the two downed wrestlers, both of them knock it down very slowly, but eventually they down it. The Antichrist Superstar is the first to his feet, as the fans at ringside assisted him to a vertical base while most... just did nothing to help Viktor. The alcohol is REALLY starting to hit both guys right now, Crow is starting to stumble a fair bit and Viktor... well... let"s just say he"s far too happy for a man in his position. The champion lifts the Russian up with the some crowd assistance, grabs a hold of his hair and tight... and throws him into the sea of the chairs! Viktor Tarakanov smashes through rows and rows of chairs, his body almost breaking them all and my oh my, what an awkward landing! The crowd starts clapping and cheering Crow on, and with this aid, Crow is able to summon up the strength and balance to charge the offence on. The Antichristian Phenomenon walks over to where Tarakanov lies and picks him back up...

...but wait! No! Tarakanov nails a HUGE punch on Crow and now the tables have turned his way once again! Capturing the opening, Viktor positions himself to the side of Crow, hooks a leg laterally and places fee arm around Crow"s waist... setting up for backdrop! The Red Rage heaves Crow backwards with a tremendous struggle, but wait! He pushes Crow backwards too hard and causes the champion to flip out of the move! Crow manages to land on his feet, but he"s stumbling back at a fantastic speed... what the hell!" The crowd pushes Crow back towards Tarakanov, and out of sheer instinct Crow manages to duck the clothesline the Russian threw! Crow somehow halts his stumbling and turns around to try and hit his own clothesline... it"s not to be though, because the Red Rage ducks under the clothesline and captures Crow in the sambo suplex position!

.

..

...

YES! TARAKANOV GETS THE SAMBO SUPLEX AND SLAMS CROW ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!

"Jesus christ! Brutal suplex on the concrete, and these guys still manage to keep on wrestling even though they are bloomin" drunk!"

Both men are down on the floor and Tarakanov takes a minute to catch his breath... and since he"s taken a minute, you know what"s coming up...

MORE SMIRNOFF VODKA!

The two referees rush over to the fallen men and give them their shots, in which they need assistance to down after such an exhausting match up. Good god these two guys are fucking pissed, and I mean fucking paro. Viktor Tarakanov is the first wrestler to stand, if you can call his stumbling standing, and with intent he drags Crow along the floor by the hair right over to the concession stands! The Antichrist Superstar is forced to crawl along the floor as he"s unable to get up, but if he doesn"t move... his hair will be ripped out! And we"ve arrived at the concession stands...

... ooooooh! Viktor throws Crow across the Mi Goreng concession stand, covering him in copious amounts of grease and noodles! Tarakanov doesn"t immediately continue to beat on Crow though, instead, he takes a moment to eat some of the noodles remaining on the table. He is drunk, remember" But this folly is his downfall as Crow rises from behind the table with a chair!

"AND CROW"S GOT A CHAIR!"

*THWACK!*

A huge chair shot from the Antichrist Superstar!

*THWACK!*

And Tarakanov has fallen back onto the table with all sorts of drinks on it! And damn, the person handling the table isn"t pleased... but Crow could care not, as he climbs up onto the Mi Goreng noodles concession table!

...

..

.

AND JUMPS OFF THE TABLE AND SPLASHES TARAKANOV THROUGH THE DRINKS TABLE!

"JESUS CHRIST! WHAT A MOVE BY CROW! EVEN IN HIS DRUNKEN STATE HE CAN PULL OFF A CRAZY HIGH FLYING MOVE!"

"This is amazing, Axis! So much alcohol and wrestling in one match, this has been great stuff!"

The two wrestlers are both down on the floor again... and good god... it"s time for more Vodka! The poor sons of bitches are going to be throwing their guts up after the match! The referees feed the two men their shots of Vodka and actually assist to a standing base... so you know, they can get back into the ring before they vomit on someone in the crowd.

"And both men are now trying to get their drunken asses back into the ring! TRYING being the key word there."

"I tell you, Axis. Damn this match has been amusing..."

Both wrestlers slowly make their way to the ring... stumbling all the way, and both falling over the railing as they try to jump it... eventually they both slide into the ring. And it"s time for even more Vodka! Once again the referees come along with a full shot glass and feed the Vodka to the wrestlers... and now they"re trying to get up. And Jesus Christ, the amount of effort it takes for these two to get up to a standing base is just too much. Well, apparently, it"s what Viktor thinks as he struggles to his feet without the assistance of the ropes. The Red Rage is the first up but gets distracted and soon finds himself leaning over the ropes and yelling into the crowd, at seemingly, one of the male Japanese blokes in the audience. Crow though, decided to first roll himself away from where Viktor was getting up and closer to a different corner, and it is here where he starts to get up... also without rope assistance. He"s up... but straight back down as he trips over his own feet and falls face first into the mat! Crow grunts as he pushes his chest off the mat... but his eyes turn that shade of orange that we"re all familiar with... because he has just seen something that might be of much use. It"s the bottle of Vodka he rolled under the turnbuckle just as the match started; it"s still there and unused! The Antichrist Superstar grabs the bottle of Vodka and gets himself up with the assistance of the ropes, with a deadly he reaches into his pocket and whips out his gold plated zippo. He undoes the bottle of Smirnoff with his teeth whilst he strikes the lighter lit across his thigh, and he looks towards Viktor Tarakanov...

"Oi, you faaarrrrkkkiiiinnnn commie! Git ya ass over here so I can farkin" keeek it!"

The Red Rage turns around and growls at Crow... right before drunkenly charging at him, almost falling over on the way! Calmly... the champion takes a swig of the Vodka and holds out the zippo lighter in front of his face...

...

AND SPITS THE VODKA OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND INTO THE FLAME, CREATING A FIREBALL!

"FIREBALL! FIREBALL! GOOD GOD I"M NOT A COMMIE, A FIREBALL!"

Tarakanov runs into the fireball and immediately jumps backwards and turns away, clutching at his face with his big hands! The drunken Russian is shouting loudly and stumbling around legless, and Crow decides to capitalise on this huge advantage, so stumbles forward and waits for Viktor to turn back around...

...and when he does...

*CLONK!*

"Crow just hit Viktor Tarakanov with the Smirnoff Vodka bottle...... and it didn"t break!"

The connection causes Viktor to stumble back a bit and almost fall over, but he"s holding his balance somehow. The Antichristian Phenomenon though, just looks at the bottle with eyes and mouth wide open as he clutches at his forehead!

"Good god, I think Crow"s tripping out! He"s letting the Vodka spill out too!"

"Well, he certainly does look shocked about the bottle not breaking, King!"

Crow eventually gets over the initial shock and smashes the bottle against Tarakanov"s head one more time!

*CLONK!*

...but it doesn"t break again!

"Bahahaha! Crow can"t believe it!"

Crow"s starts yelling at the bottle and the Japanese crowd laughs quite loudly at this... and so do the commentators. The Antichrist Superstar brings down the bottle again...

...

*SMASH!*

And the bottle finally breaks! Shards of glass fly everywhere, but most noticeably, straight into Viktor"s forehead! He finally falls over! Crow jumps (or falls) on to the Red Rage for the pin...

ONE!

.

..

...

TWO!

.

..

...

..

.

..

...

THREE!

"Crow"s won the match, King!"

*DING DING DING!*

"The winner of this bout, as a result of a pinfall.... CCCCRRRRRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

"And Crow retains the belt after getting drunk and drunker... hmm... that was certainly a strange and/or interesting main event we saw tonight. King, any thoughts""

"Well, you"re not wrong when you say an interesting main event... surprisingly. It was very interesting and thoroughly entertaining, I don"t know, there"s just something about two sweaty men getting drunk and wrestling each other."

"... that didn"t come out right, King. But anyway fans, I hope you enjoyed tonight"s broadcast and we"ll see YOU soon for S! J! L! MEEETTTAAALLLL! Good fight, and good night."

As the commentary team stops bantering, the cameras cut to the center of the ring where EMTs are helping the two competitors to the back, and as always, Crow asks for his title belt and for a smoke to be lit up for him. The look on his face after the drag is of complete pleasure...

Fade out to SJL logo from this visual.

May 23, 2003

Results:

Yeehaw! Cool show, guys. Keeping up my lazy tradition, however, if you want to know who won, read yourselves! Make sure to comment, too. I'm quite happy with this show, as there was only one no-show in the whole shebang.

Card will be coming up... whenever I write it out. Assume fairly soon.

SJL Crimson - May 22nd, 2003!

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