SWF Smarkdown (March 25/2002)

[Guest BA_Baracus]

[Loud music booms through the darkened arena.

 

Suddenly a series of 6 large yellowish pyros explode one after another from the left side of the stage to the right.  As soon as they're done another bunch of orange-ish pyros burst across the stage from the right side back to the left as the Smarkdown logo appears on the SWF-tron.

 

After a few seconds the lights return, scan an excited audience then zoom in on the announcer's table...]

 

Curry - It's yet another edition of SWF "Smarkdown" NTD!

 

NTD - I have a feeling this will be the best SWF show ever!

 

Curry - Ahem...yeah, I'm suuure it will be.

 

NTD - Hey...don't question my powers.

 

Curry - Yeah, whatever...anyways, on with the show!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

HANDICAP MATCH

Jay Dawg and Sacred vs. Xtsasy

- On Storm Jay Dawg scored a huge upset when he beat Xtsasy to become the new US champion!  A displeased Xstasy has challenged Dawg to a match on Smarkdown, but instead of a title shot he gets Dawg and the man he defeated for the US title, Sacred, in a handicap match!

Match Description – DQ and count-out rules are in effect.  Only two men are allowed in the ring at once.  Dawg and Sacred must tag in and out.

 

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

Edwin MacPhisto vs. Fallout

- On Storm El Luchadore Magnifico ended Fallout’s record setting 141 day long LHW title reign.  Fallout obviously wasn’t happy about this and wanted his re-match as soon as possible, but unfortunately for him Magnifico is reportedly violently ill and won’t be wrestling at Smarkdown.  Fallout has challenged Magnifico’s stable-mate Edwin MacPhisto in the luchadore’s place…

 

NON-TITLE, NO-DQ MATCH

Hville Thugg vs. Mark Stevens

- Around a month ago Thugg screwed Mark Stevens out of the SWF heavyweight title and the two will face each other (along with Xstasy) in a triple threat at the next PPV.  While most of the build-up for the match has focused around the relationship between Xstasy and Thugg, Stevens made his presence felt on Storm by destroying Thugg with a steel chair.  Prior to their big PPV match, these two will go one on one on Smarkdown.

Match Description – Regular DQ and count-out rules are not in effect.  Pinfalls, submissions and knockouts only count within the ring.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Everybody’s cheering, everyone’s happy… that is, until the music starts…

 

“MY NI**AS!!!”

 

Out come JD and Sacred, and a rather attractive female, looking mean as usual.

 

DING DING DING

 

>Funyon “The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a HANDICAPPED tag match!  Introducing first, at a combined weight of 482 pounds, and accompanied by Molly… Da Pound members… JAY DAWG, and SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACREDDDDD!!!”

 

>Curry “Here we are live, and here comes Da Pound…”

 

>NTD “Why was this match booked.  I mean, the new US champ, and one of the most talented men in the business together against one man…”

 

>Curry “Well, remember who that one man is, NTD…”

 

>NTD “No kidding.”

 

JD and Sacred get into the ring, Sacred climbing the rope and looking Evil.  JD standing in the center and looking… well… I guess angry.

 

“… and I want you…”

 

The arena explodes!!

 

“… and I want you…”

 

>NTD “Here he comes…”

 

“… and I want you…”

 

>Curry “The Sex Pill is here…”

 

“… and I WANT YOU!!!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG!  THE PERFECT DRUG!  THE PERFECT DRUG!!!!”

 

And out onto the entry stage steps Xstasy!!  He tosses his hair to and fro, winks at the ladies, and strides down the ramp!

 

>Curry “Can you believe that in only a few days, this Sunday, The Perfect Drug will be up for the SWF Championship!!!  It’s amazing how far he has come!!”

 

The Drug immediately hops on the apron, and takes the turnbuckle, displaying the sign of the X as flashes go off!  JD tosses his title, and immediately pulls X off of the buckle, and his music is cut.

 

DING DING DING…

 

>NTD “Early to start this one out!”

 

JD has control with right hands, BLOCKED!  X fires off a few shots, but gets whipped, and then kicked by JD!  He covers…

 

O

N

E

 

T

W

O

 

Nope!  X gets the shoulder up, as JD brings X to his feet, the drug nails him with a kick to the inner thigh, then plants him with a HARD Front Dropkick!  JD rises, and then tags his partner, who comes in swiftly!!

 

>NTD “Sacred’s on his way!”

 

And X is floored with an EVIL forearm smash!  X backrolls to his feet, and is whipped, but he grabs the ropes on the rebound, and Sacred goes for the dropkick… hitting nothing but air!  Sacred comes in, but gets his arms grabbed by the Drug, who rolls backwards, and pushes Sacred up with his feet… and OVER the ROPES!!!

 

>Curry “The Evil one goes to the outside…”

 

>NTD “JD’s coming…”

 

The Dawg enters the ring to save his buddy, but ends up being hit with several rights!  X ducks a JD punch, and lands a moonsault kick, landing on his feet before going to the adjacent ropes, running in, and hitting a SWIFT HARD cross body!!  JD grips his torso in pain as he falls!!

 

>Curry “Amazing moves there, X is on a roll!!”

 

>NTD “As usual… look!!!”

 

With Sacred on the outside, and Jay Dawg down on the canvas, Molly immediately jumps onto the apron.  She arches her back in a phenomenal showing of her ample… ummm… currrrrves, as Xstasy looks over, stunned!  The crowd boos for the Hormonal Drug as he swaggers over to her!

 

>Curry “This ain’t right!  Molly’s distracting X AGAIN!!  And this time, it could mean double trouble!  X, get you head back in the game!”

 

>NTD “Well can you blame him?!”

 

X reaches Molly on the apron as she locks eyes with him.  He moves a stray lock out of his face, and then, in one swift motion, he unzips the front of his wetsuit, gyrating slowly as he pulls it over his well muscled frame.  Instantly, the distracter becomes the distracted, and Molly is the proverbial picture of a deer in headlights!!!  All of the men and women… and especially the women… shout out with glee!!!

 

>Curry “Oh how the tables have turned, and now Molly is hooked on the Drug!!”

 

>NTD “Well… can you blame HER???”

 

JD has risen, and instantly rushes, but the Sex Pill moves away in a split second, and Molly’s expression turns from arousal to HORROR as the Dawg rams into HER with a HUGE forearm, knocking her from the apron to the outside as the crowd cheers!

 

>Curry “There she goes!!  And Sacred is the legal man…”

 

>NTD “Good, because he’s got the save!!!”

 

JD apologizes a thousand times to his escort while X taunts him from behind, failing to see the Evil one, Sacred, sliding into the ring behind him!  Sacred immediately rushes the Drug…

 

>Curry “Oh NO!!”

 

But X hears his thumping feet from a MILE away!  Immediately, he drops into a split, ducking his body down to the canvas as Sacred flings himself forwards, and sails OVER Xstasy!!!  He hits Jay Dawg HARD from behind, and now the Dawg goes tumbling through the ropes and lands outside, almost on TOP of his escort!!

 

>Curry “That Kamikaze missed!!  It missed, and Jay Dawg was in the way!!  Two botched saves, and Xstasy is on a tear!”

 

The Fan’s AddiXion rises to their cheers, as Sacred stands and apologizes himself to Jay Dawg!  He spins swiftly in an evil fashion, and immediately is doubled over by a HARD knee to the gut!  X locks the head, turns it all around, and then falls HARD to the mat, shaking it with impact, and sending Sacred rolling on the canvas!

 

>NTD “Xception!”

 

>Curry “Xception!”

 

>NTD & Curry “Xception!!!”

 

>Curry “And with authority!!!”

 

>NTD “With authority!!!”

 

>Curry “Okay, now it’s getting annoying.”

 

X prepares to make the cover, but is interrupted by the SmarkTron flaring to life.  The people begin to gasp, and then hush collectively, as the picture comes into focus, a young woman, twenty-six years old at the most, dark skin and long, braided hair.  She wears a very businessy outfit, knee length skirt, white blouse, and a blazer, but she is shoeless, and it looks like she has just opened the door.

 

>Woman “Hello… who is… oh my god!  DAMIEN???  What a surprise, what in the world are you doing here?”

 

>Voice “Yo yo, Chrissy, what up?”

 

>Curry “Wait a second… that looks an awful lot like Christienne Nightingale!  Xstasy’s sister and aspiring Wrestling Federation owner!”

 

>NTD “And I think I know who she’s talking to… I wouldn’t mistake that voice anywhere…”

 

>Curry “I shudder to think…”

 

The crowd BOOOS as the most hated man EVER in SWF history appears on the screen!!!

 

>HVT “I’m sayin’, you ain’t gonna let your brother’s best friend in for a drink or nuffin’?”

 

>NTD “Thuggie’s on TV!!!”

 

>Curry “What the hell is this?  What’s going on?”

 

X watches intently as Christienne tries not to frown on the screen…

 

>Christienne “Is this a good idea, D?  You know my brother and you ain’t exactly been the best of friends recently… and why is this camera here?”

 

>HVT “Huh?  Oh yeah, don’t mind him, this is my patna Jay Dawg, US champion… I was just trying to prove to X that I’m a true friend.  You know since the accident, after he lost his memory, he ain’t seen you yet, and he don’t know nuffin’ about you, so I was just gonna refresh his memory by introducing him again to his big sister…”

 

The Perfect Drug looks on, confused, as he shakes his head.

 

>Curry “X has no idea about Christienne.  The doctor recommended she stay out of his life until things calmed down!  This has got to be a head shock for Xstasy…”

 

>Christienne “That’s not cool, Damien.  We can’t do this to him yet.  I’ll find him when the time is right.  Now I’m just letting him do his thing…”

 

>HVT “I’m sayin’ shorty, you gonna let him f*ck up our friendship too?  You need to talk some sense into his ass, that’s what you need to do.”

 

>Christienne “Say what?  Don’t come in here talking to me like that, boy, I used to babysit you, and I’ll still whoop your black ass if you disrespect me in my house.  Check your attitude at the door, son.”

 

>HVT “Oh don’t worry, I’ll be checkin’ somethin’.  How about your chin?”

 

>Christienne “What?  Damien, what are you talking ab…”

 

WHACK!!!

 

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

>Curry “OH MY GOD!  HVT Slapped Christienne Nightingale, and its on camera!”

 

>Christienne “You little asshole!”

 

SMACK!!!

 

>NTD “And she slapped him right back!  What a firey woman!!”

 

>Curry “But all that did was piss him off!!”

 

>HVT “Oh no… you… didn’t…”

 

WHAM!!

 

>Curry “I can’t believe this!  He punched her in the stomach!”

 

Tears come immediately from Christienne’s face as she doubles over!  Thugg smiles a bit, then tells JD to back up.

 

>HVT “I wanna make sure I get this one on camera…”

 

Thugg lifts Christienne over his head, then looks at the camera and speaks.

 

>HVT “Yo X… this is what happens when you mess with Da Pound, with H-V-T!!”

 

Swiftly, Miss Nightingale falls some nine feet down, down, down, and CRRAAAASSSSSHHHHHH!!!

 

>NTD “Through a table!!!”

 

>Curry “This is horrible!!  This just isn’t right!!!  Thugg just put X’s own sister through a table!!  In her own house!  And it’s on camera, recorded!  He’s getting into X’s head now like only he can!  This monster deserves to be locked away forever!!!!”

 

Christienne is battered and broken in her own home, as Thugg looks into the camera!

 

>HVT “I will wreck your whole family!  Now what?”

 

The Tron goes to static as X backs away, shaking his head in disbelief, turning around and walking right into…

 

>Curry “SACRED!  SACRED is up!!”

 

>NTD “This is unbelievable…”

 

And as X is doubled over by a kick, he doesn’t care about the match anymore.  Camera’s flash as Sacred front locks, jumps back, and WHAMMMMM!!!  X’s head is rammed into the canvas as Sacred stands!

 

>NTD “CRUEL FATE!!!”

 

>Curry “Sacred using the distraction!  This isn’t funny… this isn’t even despicable… it’s downright EVIL!!”

 

>NTD “Well, at least something Sacred has done is…”

 

Sacred covers…

 

O

 

N

 

E

 

 

 

T

 

W

 

O

 

 

 

 

T

 

H

 

R

 

E

 

E

 

E

 

E

 

DING DING DING

 

>Crowd “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

>Funyon “Here are your winners… Sacred, and Jay Dawg!!!”

 

As “My Ni**as” plays in anger over the PA, JD slides into the ring to help Sacred deliver a healthy ass whoopin to Xstasy!  Of course the boos of the people escalate as the hated man, the attacker, the dastardly H-Ville Thugg steps into the arena and strides down the apron!

 

>NTD “This isn’t right!  Thugg needs some serious help!  As much as I hate to admit it, this rivalry has gone way to far!”

 

>Curry “Somebody has to put a stop to this…”

 

Curry man attempts to stand, as NTD holds him down!  Thugg smiles as he walks around the ring, watching Sacred and Jay Dawg stomp mudholes into Xstasy on the canvas!  He turns towards Curry, and walks to the announce table, daring him to do something about it…

 

>Curry “You fat monkey!  If NTD let’s me go, I’ll kick your ass myself!!”

 

HVT laughs, and pushes Curry back into his seat, while NTD tries to restrain him…

 

>NTD “He doesn’t mean it, Thugg, please, just let him cool off for awhile, he’s just a little angry…”

 

>Curry “Angry my ass!!  Let me at him!!!  Let me at him!!!!!!”

 

Thugg continues to laugh, and turns his back to view the thrashed X.  Thugg yells something into the ring, and JD nods, getting sacred to hold X up!  Together, they try to position Xstasy onto their shoulders, as the crowd boos them into oblivion!

 

>NTD “Wait a second, Sacred and JD are actually going to try and do a team up version of… the Thugg Passion!!!!  This’ll put him away for good…”

 

CRRRACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

 

The crowd spontaneously combusts.

 

>Curry “WAIT!!!  WAIT!!!!  Help arrives!!!!  Here he comes, the wild card, the lockerroom leader!”

 

The look on HVT’s face is priceless as out of the curtain RUNS an irate two time SWF champion, he throws his hat to the crowd as he slides into the ring, and begins punching the HELL out of Sacred!!  Thugg frowns, shouting to JD, but to no avail!  The Dawg’s punch is blocked, and Stevens fires back to the gut, lifts, and Suplexes him to the mat!!!

 

>Curry “Grand Slam Mark Stevens is HERE!!!!  And he’s cleaning house!!!”

 

X pulls himself up by the ropes, as Sacred approaches the raging Grand Slam!  Mark immediately grabs him by the throat, shaking his head, then pushing him up and away, and Sacred falls front first to the canvas, gasping for air!!  Jay Dawg tries to interrupt, but Mark ducks, and lets JD hit the rope and rebound, as he bounces back, Stevens moves out of the way, allowing the Perfect Drug to grab JD behind the head, pull down the ropes, and chuck him to the outside!  SLAPP!!!  Molly tends to her boyfriend, while Mark Stevens gets behind a rising Sacred, hooking on the full nelson, lifts, and BAMMM!!!  Down he goes!!!

 

>NTD “OUCH!!!”

 

>Curry “Grand Slam!!!  He’s taking it home!  Wait a sec… X is going up top!  In this condition?”

 

>NTD “The Perfect Drug’s gonna fly!!”

 

Up Xstasy goes to the top turnbuckle, as Mark Stevens points down to Sacred!  X flies into the ring, backwards, flips forwards, and hits HARD!!  WHAMMMM!!!!  Sacred’s body contorts, then rolls under the ropes and falls, as Mark Stevens paces like a Jaguar!!  He asks Funyon for a microphone as X shouts to Sacred and Jay Dawg!!!

 

>Curry “What an ending… what incredible drive, but how can you fight predators like Da Pound… who aren’t afraid to do anything and everything to win!!  I’ve never seen anything like this in over a year of commentating…”

 

>NTD “You’ve seen someone die!”

 

>Curry “Yeah, but they all come back to life…”

 

>NTD “As if that isn’t spectacular enough…”

 

>Curry “Shut up!  What I mean is… oh nevermind, Mark Stevens has the stick…”

 

>GSMS “You know what, Thugg, you shouldn’t have done that!  You should NEVER have done that!!  You’re forgetting that you have to FIGHT this sonovab*tch on Sunday!!!  Don’t you know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”

 

Following Mark’s gaze, X sees HVT down near the announce table, smiling!  X takes a deep breath, then RACES towards Thugg while the crowd shouts out, chanting “KICK HIS ASS!!  KICK HIS ASS!!” over and over!  But the much larger Stevens grabs X from behind and pulls him back, keeping him in the ring!

 

>GSMS “X, no!  You can’t do it!  If you do, you’ll lose your chance at the PPV!  You’ll lose everything, and I want you in there!  I want you to bring your A-game!  I want to see the terror in Thugg’s eyes when you beat his ass!  And whatever leftovers you leave, I’ll be sure not a scrap remains!”  The crowds cheer, but Stevens continues.  “But for now kid… HEY!  Listen to me!  For now, you’ve got to get out of here!  Go hop on a plane, a train, whatever it takes to be with your sister!  Talk to Stubby, whatever you gotta do, do it!  Get out of here!  NOW!!!”

 

A tear rolls down X’s cheek as he struggles against Stevens’ strength.  For awhile, he continues to go for Thugg, but finally, he dislodges himself, and gets out of the ring, walking under the ramp as Sacred and Jay Dawg walk to the curtain.  X looks back, contemplates once more, and then disappears!  Stevens watches him go, then turns to the wide-grinning HVT!  His voice is now filled with rage!

 

>GSMS “What the f*ck are you smiling at, you 450 pound piece of SH*T!!!!!  You try to take his life, then you try to take his FAMILY?  You know what… I don’t get mad that easily, but this is making me more than mad!  This sh*t is PISSING me the F*CK OFF!!!!  Forget the main event, the prestige, the glamour… we’re having our match right here… right now!!!  I’m gonna kick your ass all over this arena, and I’m gonna teach you to respect people’s lives, people’s families, these fans… I’m gonna teach you to respect that belt around your waist… before I take it from you!!!”

 

>Curry “WHAT!!  The match is happening now!!!  Grand Slam and Thugg are gonna go for it right now!!  No waiting!!!”

 

>NTD “But we have to go to commercial…”

 

>Curry “Fine, we’ll start it when we come back, but I don’t know if we can keep Stevens from killing him until then!!!”

 

>NTD “They’re here!  GSMS vs. HVT when we come back!!”

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Curry: The Heavy Hitter is in the house, and the fans are loving it!!

 

NTD: They won't be loving this match though Curry!  I have a feeling that we are going to see some major revenge from HVT for Friday night!!  Let's take a look at what happened!

 

A quick video of Grand Slam nailing HVT with a steel chair, then smashing his head into the chair with the Walk-Off is played, punctuated by Stevens getting in HVT's face and doing a little trash talking!

 

NTD: From where I sit, that was totally uncalled for Curry!  What has gotten into Grand Slam lately anyways?

 

Curry: The Heavy Hitter is mad NTD, and I don't blame him!  HVT's actions recently have been inexcusable, and Grand Slam is just taking the fight to the monster!

 

Thugg slowly enters the ring, turns a full circle in the ring trying to find Grand Slam, but Stevens is nowhere to be found!!

 

NTD: And he calls HVT a coward?  Grand Slam ran away before the match even got started!!

 

Curry: he didn't run NTD!  I wouldn't want to be in the ring with HVT to start the match either!  Let the big man come to me!!

 

NTD: Mmmm, big men coming to me...

 

Curry: Good God.

 

Thugg starts yelling for Stevens, stomping on the mat and screaming at the top of his lungs! The fans are unsure what to make of the situation, but they know HVT sucks, so the boos are loud and lustful!  Finally HVT starts to stalk around the ring, looking at the ringside area for Grand Slam.  As he passes the side right in front of the announcer's table, Grand Slam rolls out from under the ring, a weapon in hand!!

 

NTD: There he is!!  Thugg, he's behind you and he has a bat!

 

Curry: Not just any bat!!

 

Grand Slam rolls into the ring behind Thugg and pops to his feet, holding his weapon above his head!  The crowd roars, making it hard for the audience watching at home to hear anything the commentators are saying!  Thugg hears the roar and starts to turn around!

 

Curry: It's the Hardcore Special Bat!!  It's the bat he and Spark, the Professor of Hardcore, came up with last year!!

 

NTD: This is insane!!

 

The ref, finally seeing both competitors in the ring together, signals for the bell!!

 

** Ding, ding, ding **

 

Thugg turns around just in time to see the bat swinging at his head!!  He isn't able to duck fast enough and the barbed-wire wrapped bat pops off the side of his head!!  Thugg staggers back!!  Grand Slam is pressing the attack, fury in his eyes!  Thugg looks a little surprised at the aggressiveness of the usually technically minded Grand Slam!!  Stevens presses the attack, smacking Thugg across the back with the hardcore bat and causing the big man to drop to his knees!!  The crowd is eating it up, cheering like Grand Slam was giving away money!!  As Stevens lines up for another shot, HVT decides that discretion is the better part of valor, drops to his stomach and rolls out of the ring!!  Grand Slam swings hard after him, slamming his weapon into the mat where HVT's head was just moments before!

 

NTD: This is outrageous!!  That bat of his isn't something that should be allows in a wrestling ring!!  That thing could seriously maim someone!!

 

Curry: And if there is anybody in the fed who deserves it more than the Thugg, I don't know who it is!  

 

Thugg gets to his feet, staring with a mix of blind rage and curiosity at the Heavy Hitter still standing in the ring, bat in hand!!  One of Thugg's cornrows on the left side of his head is plucked out from its spot a little, the barbed wire catching it and pulling.  On his back, there are two or three tiny flecks of blood just starting to show.  Thugg stalks around the ring menacingly.  Inside Grand Slam is holding the weapon ready, knowing that to win the match HVT has to come back into the ring eventually.  But the big man appears to be in no hurry, walking a circuit around the ring and jawing to Grand Slam, who keeps motioning for Thugg to get back in the ring.

 

Curry: Good strategy by the H-Ville Thugg here!  Grand Slam came out charged with emotion and put him on the defensive right away.  By staying out of the ring for a few seconds, Thugg has a chance to gather his composure (such as it is) and let Grand Slam cool off.

 

NTD: Of course it is good strategy numbnuts!!  We aren't talking about some green rookie here!  HVT is the two-time World Champion!  He didn't win that championship by being stupid!

 

Curry: No NTD, he stole it from another two-time champion, the man in the ring and his opponent for tonight, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens!!

 

In the ring, Grand Slam seems to have had enough!  He runs at HVT and baseball slides out under the bottom rope, dragging the Hardcore Bat behind him!  And that is just the chance HVT was waiting for!  With surprising speed for such a huge man, HVT is right on top of Grand Slam to elbow him in the face as he exits the ring!!  Grand Slam drops to the mat outside the squared circle, one hand holding his face and the other clutching the bat!!  Thugg decides to even the odds a little.  He grabs Grand Slam's hand in his and starts to pry his fingers off the Hardcore Bat!!  Grand Slam puts up a good fight until Thugg drives his knee into Grand Slam's stomach, knocking the wind out of him.  His grip loosens and Thugg pulls the Hardcore Bat out of Grand Slam's hand.  He looks disdainfully at the weapon before bringing it down hard on the exposed arm of the Heavy Hitter!!  Grand Slam lurches in pain!  Thugg laughs an evil laugh, takes a moment to revel in the hate of the crowd, and flings the bat away through the ring!  A camera on the other side catches it flying out under the bottom rope, hitting the ground and coming to rest right at the bottom of the entrance ramp!!

 

NTD: Ha ha!!  Let's see how brave Grand Slam is without his precious weapon!!

 

Setting a more deliberate pace, Thugg starts to batter Grand Slam with elbows and stiff, stiff punches to the head!!  Stevens is leaning against the ring using his unbattered arm to keep himself standing, which is just fine for Thugg as just destroys the Heavy Hitter with a huge open hand slap right to the sternum!!  Grand Slam is obviously having trouble catching his breath as Thugg pulls him away from the ring then delivers a monstrous blow right to Stevens' temple!!  Grand Slam collapses to the ground, trying to suck in a breath!!  Thugg looks at the fans all around him as they heap verbal abuse upon abuse for the evil juggernaught!!  He flips them off and moves to the announce table!!

 

Curry: Oh no!  Not that!!  Why does this always happen??

 

NTD: I have a bad feeling this desk may not be such a good place to be in a minute or so!!

 

Thugg rips the cover off the table, then removes the monitors, lights and microphones!!  Curry and NTD can be seen trying to keep their notes in front of them and stay out of the way of Thugg!!  Soon enough, HVT turns his attention back to a slowly recovering Grand Slam!!  The Heavy Hitter is trying to pull himself up by the ring apron.  HVT rears back and delivers a hard uppercut to Grand Slam's chin, knocking the former champ back!  Thugg grabs his left arm and whips Stevens hard across ringside and into the ring steps, knocking them askew and dropping Grand Slam back to the ground again!  Thugg stalks Grand Slam, grabs a handful of red hair and drags the smaller man back to his feet!  But there is some fight left in Grand Slam yet!  He fires three quick shots into Thugg's stomach, loosening his grip!  Another fast right hand to the temple and Thugg lets go of Grand Slam's hair!!  The crowd starts to come alive again as Grand Slam mounts a comeback!!  He fires several rapid fire shots into the neck and shoulders of Thugg!

 

Curry:  Here comes the Heavy Hitter!!  He's staggered HVT!!

 

NTD: No way he's out of this yet though Curry!!  It will take more than some punches to bring down the H-Ville Thugg!!!

 

True to NTD's word, as Grand Slam steps back and charges Thugg, trying to take him off his feet with a clothesline, Thugg takes a deep breath and lets out a bellow of rage!!  As Grand Slam charges, Thugg steps aside, grabs him by the back of the neck and charges across ringside holding Stevens out in front of him!!  With all of his strength and weight, HVT slams Grand Slam's head into the ringpost and lets the former champ fall back, both hands held to his forehead!  Beside him, Thugg sinks to one knee, forcing air into his lungs, recovering from Grand Slam's flurry of offense!

 

Curry: Holy God!  How could Thugg do that to another human being?

 

NTD: He's got no remorse in his body Curry!  He could care less who he hurts, as long as he wins!!

 

A video replay rolls on half of the screen, showing Grand Slam going face first into the post and highlighting the sick ::smack:: his skull made against the steel!!

 

Curry: What a sound!!  I'll be surprised if Grand Slam can continue!!

 

Thugg is on his feet again, and again pulls Grand Slam up by his hair!  A cameraman is right there to catch a close-up of Grand Slam's face!  There is a noticeable gash on his forehead right over his left eye and it is pouring blood!!  Half of Stevens face is covered in the proverbial crimson mask!!  Thugg sees this and laughs, showing the bleeding Carnie to all of the ringside fans!!  One or two are cheering just for the site of blood, but most are disgusted by the kind of man it would take to do this to another person!!  He takes a step and whips Grand Slam hard, back first, into the security railing, where the Heavy Hitter hangs, nearly unconscious.  Thugg turns to the nearby timekeeper's table and smiles a wicked, evil smile!  With a huge hand he grabs Funyon by the back of the shirt and throws him out of his chair!  The ring announcer lands hard a few feet away, curled up in a fetal position!!  Thugg picks up his chair, folds it closed with a snap and walks back to Grand Slam!!  The Heavy Hitter, buoyed by the support of his fans right behind him, is trying to stand.  Thugg regards him with something approaching pity for a second, then winds up and smashes the chair over Grand Slam's head!!  The Heavy Hitter slumps to the ground!  Thugg looks at the chair, admiring the dent he put in it and the bright red smear of blood on the seat, then looks over his shoulder at the announce table.  With a sneer, he tosses the chair over his shoulder and pulls Grand Slam to his feet.  The chair lands in the ring, in the corner on the far side.  Thugg practically drags Grand Slam over to the announcer's table, then wraps his massive hand around Grand Slam's throat!!

 

Curry: NO!!  NO!!  Don't do this!!!  You've done enough!!!

 

NTD: Watch out!!  Incoming!!

 

Curry and NTD bail out of their seats as Thugg picks a limp Grand Slam up in one hand, spins around and PLANTS him right through the announce table!!

 

NTD: Untamed!!  Untamed through the table by the World Champion!!  Curry, you've been talking for a week now about Grand Slam making a statement?  Well, I think Thugg just answered him, and made a pretty clear statement of his own!!

 

There is table debris everywhere as Thugg slowly stands, the exertion of this very physical match etched on his face!!  Grand Slam is lying almost perfectly still, blood streaming down his face, in the middle of the remains of Curry and NTD's habitat!  Thugg peels Grand Slam off the detrius and, with a step, hurls him bodily under the bottom rope and into the ring.  Thug grabs the top rope and pulls himself to the ring apron, the steps into the ring as the ref checks on Grand Slam!  Thugg drops to one knee, then places one hand on Grand Slam's chest, making the pin and not even bothering to hook the leg or use his full weight!  The ref drops to the mat...

 

One...

 

Two...

 

Curry: Thank God this is over!!  Thugg has proven his point...

 

As the ref starts to count three, Thugg uses his other hand to pull Grand Slam's head, and consequently his shoulder, off the mat!!

 

NTD: Thugg disagrees Curry!!  Apparently, he has another point to make!!

 

The crowd is raining boos down on Thugg now, and the volume is tremendous as the Fed's Most Hated Man gets top his feet, dragging the nearly helpless Heavy Hitter up after him with his left hand.  Once standing, Thugg takes his right hand and pounds his chest a few times, then turns Grand Slam around and into an inverted facelock!!

 

Curry: This isn't right!!  The ref should stop the match!!  No!!!

 

NTD: No disqualification is a great thing!!  After this Thugg Passion, I'm pretty sure HVT will have one less opponent to worry about on Sunday!!

 

Curry: He doesn't need to do this!!  He has systematically taken Grand Slam apart piece by piece!!

 

Thugg grabs Grand Slam around the waist and hauls him up to his shoulders, facing forwards!!  The crowd boos as he turns around in a circle, letting everyone see what is about to happen!!  He grabs Grand Slam's tights and starts to lift... but suddenly Grand Slam springs to life!!  He reaches down with both hands and rakes Thugg's eyes!!  The monster staggers a little, which is all the opening Grand Slam needs!!  He throws all of his weight forward...

 

Curry: Victory Roll!!!  Victory Roll!!

 

NTD: That eye rake was unfair!!  It shouldn't end like this!!!

 

The ref drops to the mat...

 

One...

 

Two...

 

Thr... NO!!!  Thugg kicks out and the crowd lets out the breath they were about to use to cheer their hero's win!!

 

NTD: That was awfully close Curry!!

 

Curry: Grand Slam is a master technical wrestler!  If he can somehow get the match back in his arena, he has a chance, but so far he has had to play Thugg's game, and nobody does brawling better than HVT!!

 

Both men are down on the mat.  Grand Slam is sucking air and shaking his head, trying to get his senses straight before HVT gets to his feet.  The Champion, on the other hand, is lying on the mat, both hands over his eyes, trying to get them to stop watering and let him see again.  Grand Slam is the first to move, crawling slowly towards the far corner.  Thugg starts to get his vision clear and rises up on one knee, blinking hard and shaking his head.  Grand Slam makes the corner.  One hand grabs the discarded steel chair stained with his blood, and the other pulls on the ropes, slowly levering the Heavy Hitter to a standing position!!  Thugg sees him out of the corner of his eye and charges!!  Grand Slam seems barely aware of his surroundings, but manages to swing the chair left to right, cracking it alongside Thugg's shoulder and neck!!  The big man still crashes into Grand Slam, but the impact is not nearly what it would have been!!  With a mighty push, Grand Slam clears the corner of HVT!!  The big man staggers into the center of the ring!!  Grand Slam shakes his head once, splattering blood across the ring and the camera catches the anger in his eyes!!  The Heavy Hitter stands up straight just as an enraged Thugg turns around!!

 

Curry: Grand Slam is back in the game!!  That eye rake gave him enough time to catch his second wind, and he is ready to go after the Thugg!!

 

NTD: Thugg is still in this Curry!!  I don't think he has used up his first wind yet!!

 

Grand Slam swings the chair over his head and WHACK!!  HVT is staggered from a wicked chair shot right over his head, but he doesn't go down!!  Grand Slam winds up again... WHACK!!!!  HVT takes a step back and swings wildly in Grand Slam's direction!!  The Heavy Hitter ducks under and, with murder in his eyes, winds up and delivers another crushing chair shot to the World Champion!!!  HVT drops to one knee, reaching out to try and grab Stevens!!  But Grand Slam is already behind Thugg!!  He winds up and delivers another hard blow to HVT's back, causing the Behometh to topple forward!!!  The fans go nuts!!!  Grand Slam raises the chair high in the air, then drops it to the mat!!!  His left hand grabs a handful of HVT's cornrows and starts to haul him off the mat!  With his right hand, he makes a circle in the air and points to the chair!!!

 

Curry: He's trying to finish it now!!  Grand Slam is looking for the Walk-Off!!

 

NTD: Thugg is dazed!  This thing could be over!!  NO!!!!

 

Grand Slam pulls Thugg into the standing head-scissors and starts to lock the arms, but Thugg suddenly stiffens and fights the hold!!  Grand Slam is furiously trying to grab Thugg's arms, but the Champ is too strong!!  He reaches down with both hands and pulls Grand Slam's feet out from under him!!  Stevens flops back onto the mat!!  Thugg stands up, Steven's legs under his arms!!  The crowd, sensing what is about to happen starts to despair for Grand Slam's health!!  Thugg says something derogatory to Grand Slam about his ancestry (or lack thereof) and falls back, catapulting Grand Slam into the ropes!!  Stevens hits neck and shoulders first on the top rope, hangs in mid-air a second, then flips over, falling on his neck and shoulder outside the ring!!!

 

NTD: Yes!!  Thugg managed to reverse the Walk-Off and gave himself a little time for a breather!!

 

Curry: But the Champ is a little worse for wear!  He is bleeding from a cut right in the center of his forehead!!  

 

Indeed Curry has the eyes of an eagle, and there is a trickle of blood running down the center of Thugg's face.  He reaches up with one hand and touches the trickle, then looks at his thick fingers covered in his own blood!!  He takes in a huge breath and lets out a bellow that shakes the cheap seats!!!

 

Curry & NTD: Uh-Oh...

 

On the outside Grand Slam is slowly getting to his feet and trying to pull himself up with the ring apron.  HVT takes two huge steps to the ropes and reaches over, grabbing two handfuls of matted, bloody red hair!!  He uses them to haul Grand Slam off the floor and onto the apron!!  Once there he pulls his own head back and drives it forward, right into the wound on Grand Slam's head!!  The Heavy Hitter starts to fall, but with HVT's grip, he doesn't get far!!  HVT winds up... WHAM!!  Another headbutt!!  Grand Slam is slumped against the ropes!!  Thugg, in no hurry whatsoever, pulls Grand Slam into a front facelock, with the added bonus of choking the Heavy Hitter against the top rope!!  Thugg reaches over and grabs Steven's tights, intent on suplexing him into the ring, but Grand Slam hooks his right leg around the bottom rope!!  Thugg tries again and is stymied!!  Totally ticked off now, Thugg pulls Grand Slam out of the facelock and sets him up for a roundhouse punch!!  Grand Slam uses the one second he has to wrap his hands around the back of Thugg's tree-trunk-like neck and jump off the apron, hanging Thugg up on the top rope!!  The big man falls back into the ring and Grand Slam slumps to the ground again, crawling ever so slightly away from the ring!!

 

Curry: What a battle we have here tonight NTD!!

 

NTD: These guys are so full of pride that they can't quit on this match!!  I have to think the sheer brutality has to give X a great advantage in the Triple Threat Match Sunday!!

 

Curry: Of course, X had a bad night himself!!

 

In the ring, Thugg pushes himself to his feet and pulls his thumb across his throat, signaling the end of the match!!  To the delight of the fans, the beast climbs to the top rope near Grand Slam who is just now starting to get to his feet, his back to Thugg!!

 

Curry: Good Lord, there should be a law against Thugg going to the top rope!!  Turn around Grand Slam!!

 

NTD: Yeah, turn around so Thugg can decapitate you faster!!!

 

Almost as if he can hear the commentators clear on the other side of the ring, Grand Slam woozily starts to turn to face the ring, and Thugg leaps, looking for a flying clothesline!!!  Flashbulbs go off all over the arena, as the San Antonio fans catch a prized picture of the 450 pound monster in mid air... then Grand Slam steps to the side, spinning fast... AND BRINGING UP THE HARDCORE BAT RIGHT INTO THUGG'S FLIGHTPATH!!!!  The big man crashes headfirst into the barbed wire bat and drives it into the ground!!  His right arm just catches Grand Slam on the left shoulder, twisting him around violently and pulling him to the ground!!

 

Curry: Holy Crap!!  What a trainwreck that was!!!  And what presence of mind on the part of Grand Slam to remember where his bat was!!

 

NTD: That no-good, dirty, underhanded...

 

Curry: Both men are giving everything they have in this match, putting their careers on the line for nothing but the pride of being able to say "I won that match!"

 

NTD: Stupidheads!!  They have a title match on Sunday!!

 

Grand Slam pushes his way to his feet, he takes two deep, shuddering breaths, then reaches down and grabs HVT by the hair, pulling the big man off the mat and to his feet!!  A camera catches the bat stick to him for a second, then fall off covered in blood!!  Grand Slam whips HVT towards the ring, guiding him in under the bottom rope!!  HVT is a bloody mess, the small cut from before joined by a jagged cut in his left eyebrow!!  Grand Slam follows HVT into the ring, rolling under the bottom rope!  The crowd is in a frenzy as Grand Slam pushes himself to his feet and pulls HVT back to his!!  Thugg swings blindly at Grand Slam!!  The Heavy Hitter ducks under, grabs the arm and whips HVT hard into the ropes!!  Bounce back, Grand Slam steps a little to the side and delivers a stiff toe kick!!!  HVT doubles over, clutching at his stomach and ribs!!  Grand Slam maneuvers him over the steel chair still in the ring and pulls him into the standing head-scissors!!  Without signaling, he pulls HVT's arms into the double-underhook!!  He looks out to the crowd for a second... every man, woman and child in attendance is on their feet!!  Thugg starts to struggle, jolting Grand Slam back to reality.  Without wasting another second, he jumps in the air and drives Thugg's head down hard onto the chair!!!

 

Curry: Walk-Off!!!  Walk-Off!!!  Walk-Off!!!

 

NTD: No way!!  No way!!!  No!!!

 

Grand Slam rolls Thugg over, falls across his check and barely hooks the leg!!  The ref drops to the mat next to the two gladiators...

 

One...

 

Two...

 

...

 

Three!!!!!  Thugg raises his left arm just after the ref slaps the mat the third time!!!!

 

The crowd explodes in cheers, shaking the glass fixtures in the arena and completely drowning out "Born Bad" as it kicks up!!!!  The ref signals outside of the ring!!

 

** Ding, ding, ding **

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner... "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS!!!!!!!

 

Curry: Do you believe what we just saw??  Do you believe this match??

 

NTD: As much as I hate to admit it, there is a reason why both of these guys are two-time World Champions and we were just witness to it!!

 

Curry: Grand Slam gets the emotional win, putting an exclamation point on this week leading up to the Pay-Per-View!!!  And don't forget, if that happens on Sunday, if Grand Slam, or X for that matter, pin the champion then they will not only win the most coveted title in this business, but get HVT out of their hair forever!!!

 

NTD: Never happen Curry!!  Never happen!!!

 

In the ring, Grand Slam rolls out of the ring before HVt can get to his feet.  The ref catches up with him on the ramp and raises his hand in the air to a huge pop from the crowd!!!  The last image we see is Thugg pounding a dent in the mat out of frustration and vowing to obliterate Grand Slam on Sunday...

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Back from commercial break, a shot of the parking lot comes into focus, and we hear a car speeding through the parking lot.  It’s occupant’s identity is masked behind tinted windows, but Curry confirms what we all assume.

 

(Curry) – And there goes Xstasy!  Off to go to the side of his sister, Christenne Nightengale, who was brutally attacked by the Hville Thugg!!

 

(NTD) – What kind of human being would attack the beautiful, vivacious Ms. Nightengale??

 

(Curry) – As sick man, NTD.  A very sick, hatefilled man!

 

The car speeds towards an opening in the stone barrier surrounding the parking lot, and it picks up speed as it gets closer to the exit.  However, at the very last second, the car comes to a screeching halt, just inches away from the white Expedition that has pulled in front of the exit, blocking it completely!

 

(Curry) – Wait a damn second!

 

(NTD) – What’s this??  That looks like…

 

Before NTD can reveal the car’s occupant, the driver side, the passenger, and the middle passenger doors fly open, and out jumps…

 

(NTD) – It is…It is!

 

The Hville Thugg, Jay Dawg, and Sacred!!

 

(Curry) – It’s Da Pound!!!  What the hell are they doing??

 

(NTD) They’re stopping Xstasy from seeing his sister!  They’re blocking the way!

 

While JD moves to the rear of the Expedition and opens the hatch, HVT and Sacred moves around the stopped car, HVT to the driver side and Sacred to the passenger side.

 

(HVT) – Where you going bitch?!?  Why you runnin’ from me?!?

 

There’s not reply from the car as HVT pounds on the roof of the car.  Sacred bangs on the passenger side window, hoping to the attention of the Perfect Drug, but it’s to no avail.

 

(HVT) – Don’t you fuckin’ run from me bitch!!  You get the fuck out and fight me like a man!!  Stand up and fight me like a fuckin’ man you pussy ass nigga!!

 

(Curry) – What the hell is going on here?!?  

 

(NTD) – This is what you call, adding insult to injury.  Thugg’s not even going to let Xstasy go to his ailing sister’s aid.

 

At that moment, JD returns to view, standing by the Expedition brandishing 3 baseball bats!  He tosses one to HVT, another to Sacred, and keeps the third for himself.

 

(Curry) – Son of a bitch!!  This was just a goddamn setup!  The Hville Thugg and Da Pound set up Xstasy!!

 

JD walks around to the passenger side with Sacred while HVT taps the window lightly with his bat.

 

(HVT) – Come on out you piece of shit!  Come on out here and stand up like a man!  You scared??

 

With that, HVT rears back his bat and knocks the driver side mirror somewhere into the next state!  Meanwhile, JD and Sacred begin to work the car’s body, hitting the roof and the doors of the car with their bats.

 

(HVT) – Come on you Xstasy!!  Come on out and face your best friend!!  You can’t fuckin’ run from me!!  Just GET THE FUCK OUTTA DA CAR!!!

 

HVT smashes his bat into the driver side window, smashing it to bits, and then immediately smashes the rear driver side mirror, leaving shattered glass everywhere!

 

(Curry) – Oh come one!!!  I can’t believe the audacity of the Hville Thugg and Da Pound!  Xstasy’s just trying to go see his sister…a woman that Thugg put in the hospital!!  This is ridiculous!!

 

(NTD) – I’m at a loss for words right now.  I didn’t think Thugg could stoop any lower, but he keeps proving that he can.

 

HVT moves to the rear of the car and smashes out the back window, while JD and Sacred move to the driver side door.  Sacred and JD reach in the broken window to grab whatever’s left of Xstasy…

 

(HVT) – COME ON XSTASY!  

 

(JD) – Uhhh, Thugg.

 

(HVT) - YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T FUCK WIT ME!!

 

(Sacred) – Thugg.

 

(HVT) - YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T BEAT ME!!

 

(JD) – THUGG!

 

(HVT) - YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T…

 

(Sacred) – DAMIEN!!!

 

(HVT) – WHAT!!

 

Sacred and JD both point to inside the car while HVT stomps his way over.  HVT reaches in the car and pulls out……………………………………………some goofy looking white man with glasses!

 

(Curry) – THAT’S NOT XSTASY!!  THAT’S THE WRONG CAR!!!

 

(NTD) – Wait…if that’s not Xstasy…then where in the hell is…

 

Just as NTD inquires, the sound of a car door slamming is heard, followed by the screeching of tires.  The camera pans over and we see in the rolled down window of Thugg’s Expedition…………XSTASY!!!!

 

(Curry) – QUESTION ANSWERED!!  THERE’S XSTASY…AND HE’S STEALING THUGG’S CAR!!

 

(HVT) – MY CAR!!!

 

Sacred and JD make a break for it, but stop soon after, realizing their attempts would be futile.  However, HVT doesn’t give up quite so easily as he rips the car door open, causing broken glass to fall out.

 

(NTD) – I can’t believe it!  Xstasy has stolen Thugg’s car to go see his sister!

 

(Curry) – That’s gotta be just a little bit of justice for Xstasy…but wait!

 

HVT grabs the car’s occupant and launches him out of the car while JD and Sacred watch X drive away.  HVT slams the car door, and peels out the parking lot exit, causing JD and Sacred to dive out of the way to avoid being hit.  HVT hooks a left, and heads out in the same direction in which Xstasy just left in Thugg’s car.

 

(Curry) – THUGG’S GOING AFTER HIM!!  THIS IS GOING TO GET MUCH WORSE BEFORE IT GETS ANY BETTER!!

 

(NTD) – But where are they going?

 

(Curry) – Airport I suppose!  But what’s going to happen if and when they meet up?!?  This is going to be huge!!!

 

Sacred and Jay Dawg look at each other and then out towards where both men exited, just before Smarkdown cuts to commercial.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Smarkdown returns and the camera floats to backstage, where Jay Dawg is standing (man...that bastard is everywhere...isn't he) a smirk on his face, and the U.S. title held neatly over his shoulder.

 

JD: “Greetings folks. It is I, your U.S. champeen. Did you see what my buddy Sacred, and I did to that punk bitch Xstasy. Well fuck that was nothing compared to what Thugg will do to him on the Pay Per View.”

 

JD pauses for a brief second, looking around the locker room.

 

JD: “Speaking of the Pay Per View. It is come to my attention that I don’t have an opponent for the show. I guess what I am trying to say is, I wouldn’t want to deprive myself of beating the shit out of one of your fan favourites. So what I am doing is issuing an open challenge, to any snot bag, ass rammer who wants a shot at my title.”

 

Jay Dawg starts to head out, but pauses, and turns back to the camera.

 

JD: “And that includes any of those piece of shit JL’ers who are being bumped.”

 

Jay Dawg leaves the locker room, as the camera switches back to inside the arena.

 

Curry: “Oh joy. Jay Dawg has just issued an open challenge for his title. I wonder who will step up.”

 

NTD: “Blarg! Jay Dawg is at the top of his game. Whoever steps up will have a mountain to climb!”

 

Curry: “Yeah… That’s about as true as women’s wrestling having credibility. But whoever steps up better watch out for Da Pound!”

 

Cut to a commercial.

[Guest BA_Baracus]

We’re back in when suddenly, the lights go out.  “Scum of the Earth” by Rob Zombie begins to play.  As soon as the heavy guitar part starts, an explosion hits the entrance area, a faint green glow lights up the arena, and Fallout comes through the curtain.  He heads straight for the ring, a wrathful glare across his face…

 

”The following contest is scheduled for one fall!  Introducing first, from Phoenix, Arizona, a member of the Clan, weighing in at 185 pounds, FALLOOOOOOOUT!”

 

Fallout stands in the center of the squared circle, feet apart, a title belt absent from his hands for the first time in 5 months.  He closes his eyes, and slowly lifts his arms skyward.  A huge green explosion comes from behind him.  He then removes his Clan robe and starts to stretch.

 

“Welcome back to SWF Smarkdown, folks!  We’re here with our second to last match of the night, and here’s Fallout!  He’s looking grim, NTD, and for good reason!”

 

“Good reason indeed!” chirps the pantsless wonder.  “He was robbed on Storm!  Robbed!  Robbed!  Stupid Mexicans!  Stupid Carnies!  At least he’ll get some revenge on their so-called leader tonight…”

 

“That’s right, NTD.  Edwin MacPhisto should be out any moment, but he’s got to be reeling after that assault from Jay Dawg and Sacred in tonight’s opening contest.  If he wants to beat Fallout or come out on top of Sacred this Sunday, he’s going to have to do it Emeril-style and kick it up a notch!”  

 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the lights drop out, and “Seasons of the Abyss” by Slayer starts to blast!  The crowd boos furiously, but suddenly their opinion changes as they realize it’s not Sacred on his way out to the ring, but Edwin MacPhisto, microphone in hand!  The Mac Daddy brings the stick to his lips and begins to speak!

 

“Well well well, ladies and germs, it seems that Sacred’s not the only one that can steal theme music!  I too have sway in the tech booth, and so I say to you Sacred, how do you like this, eh?   I’m a Slayer!  I’m…”

 

“DEATH DEATH DEATH ANGER ANGER ANGER SLAYER SLAYER SLAYER”

 

“I’m…entering to the worst music ever!  God, now I know why you want ours!  Sheesh!  Hit it, Ricky!”  With a point to the tech booth, the vocals of “Battleflag” drop, and Edwin charges down to the ring, red coat and title belt flailing behind him as he dives into the ring!

 

“For those of you who’ve been under a rock for the past couple weeks, Sacred’s started a campaign to co-opt ‘Rollercoaster Of Love’ from the Carnival, because he thinks it’s evil as all get out!  Edwin’s not too keen on that—but he’s got other things to deal with now, namely Fallout!”

 

“And his opponent, weighing in at 232 pounds, from Amsterdam, England, he is the Intercontinental Television champion and the leader of the Midnight Carnival…EDWIN MACPHISTOOOOO!”

 

Edwin dives into the ring and hands his heap of accessories to the referee who stumbles for the corner, trying to point to the timekeeper while staggering about beneath a heap of trenchcoat and fashionable accoutrements.  The bell rings, and Fallout and Edwin immediately circle up, dodging and feinting for position.

 

“These two men have faced each other many times over the past year, and their hatred for each other has been recently renewed thanks to a long conflict between the Carnival and the Clan,” comments Curry.  “Now, with Magnifico under the weather, Fallout’s going to have to unleash all his bottled up rage on Edwin!”  In the ring, Fallout spots an opening and catches Edwin’s arm.  The Nuclear Weapon rolls around Edwin and cinches him into a hammerlock, but before he can go anywhere with the hold, Edwin snaps the heel of his boot against Fallout’s right shin.  Fallout falters momentarily, loosening his grip long enough for Edwin to power out and break away.  As the Mac Daddy turns to face Fallout, the Nuclear One regains his balance and leaps, looking to broadside Edwin with a spinning heel kick!  Edwin sees the incoming calf just in time to dive under it headfirst.  Sliding to safety, Edwin scrambles back up, making the universal sign for “safe!” as he comes out of his dive.  Fallout lands and, in an ironic twist, it’s now his turn to turn, and he turns right into a two sky-high Doc Martens as a Mac Daddy dropkick floors him and draws a big pop from the crowd!  

 

“Edwin connects with the first offensive maneuver of the night after that great opening exchange,” says Curry.  Fallout crawls back to his feet with a little help from Edwin’s hand on the back of his neck, and the Mac Daddy starts laying in with punches to the gut on his smaller foe.

 

“Look at Edwin, the big bully!” cries NTD.  “Beating up on the little guy!  Why don’t you steal his candy too, MacPhisto?  Huh?”

 

“Probably because Fallout’s candy, whatever it may be, is likely to be evil and not tasty.”

 

“That was a rhetorical question!”

 

“I know, but you’re stupid, so I figured I could go with this one.”

 

“…point taken.”

 

The tally is Curry 1, NTD 0, as Edwin slaps a front face lock on Fallout and drops him to the mat with a stiff DDT.  Edwin hooks the leg, hoping perhaps for a lucky break and a ticket to ride…

 

ONE!

 

TW— “and Fallout kicks out with ease!”  Edwin shrugs and pulls Fallout back to his feet, stepping forward to whip the Clannite across the ring, but Fallout plants both his feet and rockets back towards MacPhisto with a short-arm clothesline!  Totally surprised, Edwin flips a wicked 180 degrees and lands flat on his stomach!  Fallout doesn’t wait to catch his breath—he drops a knee down over the back Edwin’s neck, and he drops it hard!  The Nuclear Weapon rises and drops his other knee over Edwin’s neck, as if to let it have some of the fun too.  After the second knee drop, Fallout backs off for a moment and lets Edwin stagger back to his feet.  Fallout positions himself by the ropes as Edwin leaps forward with a big right hook, but the alacritous Fallout nimbly evades the flamboyant fist with a quick duck and surge forward.  Fallout floats the charging Edwin up over his left shoulder, shoots upward, and guides the Mac Daddy down over the ropes!  “Wicked flapjack from Fallout, who took advantage of Edwin’s hazy mental processes following that minor beatdown,” analyzes Curry.  Edwin bounces off the top of the ropes, and Fallout has another surprise for him—an inverted facelock and a powerful neckbreaker!  Edwin’s head cracks off of Fallout’s shoulder, and Fallout cradles the ICTV champion tightly.

 

ONE!

 

TWO—Edwin busts out at the count of two, limbs shooting everywhere as he scrambles back to his feet and backs away.  “Fallout’s got Edwin on the run early on,” notes Curry, ever-observant, “and one thing you don’t want to do is let this man wear you down.  He’ll take you apart all match, and then hit you with his best shot when you least expect it!  You don’t hold on to a belt for 141 days without a fine mix of tactics and tricks!”

 

“Curry, that rhymed!”

 

“So?”

 

“You’re a poet—and you don’t know it!”

 

“Yes, I do know it—I noticed it, and you told me to boot…”

 

“POET AND YOU DON’T KNOW IT!  Ha, I crack myself up sometimes!”

 

“Can I please get a new color commentator?  Please?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Christ, I’d even rather listen to Riley than you anymore…”

 

“Ooh, Bobbi!  I miss him…oooh…”

 

As NTD gets a funny feeling down in his basement and Curry bemoans his status as the hardest-working and least-privileged member of the SWF staff, Fallout pulls Edwin up and brings the fight to him, Fallout-style!  What the vague concept of “Fallout-style” means in this context is a collection of brutal yet technically sound suplexes—the Nuclear One starts with a quick snap suplex, drilling Edwin’s neck once more, holds on and pulls him back up for a German suplex, again impacting his upper back, and then pulls him up one more time for a spin, an elbow to the face, and a wicked Northern Lights suplex, ending with a big release and a big flight for one unfortunate ICTV champion!  Edwin crashes into the mat and skids to a stop a few feet away, and as he starts to pull himself up by the ropes, Fallout launches forward with a sharp spear to Edwin’s back!  MacPhisto loses his grip on the ropes as the two men crash into them, and Fallout takes control of the momentum, rolling backwards with Edwin in tow for a tight roll-up—that Edwin immediately floats out of and turns into a roll-up of his own, with Fallout’s legs balled up over his chest!  Fallout begins to thrust his legs violently as the referee drops to count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO—and Fallout’s frantic kicking comes through—he breaks out of Edwin’s grasp and flows straight into a kip-up!  An impressed crowd oohs, then remembers that it doesn’t like Fallout, and boos the former Light Heavyweight Champion soundly as he scissors the head of the rising Edwin, flips to the right, and twists Edwin’s shoulders down to the mat with a snappy headscissor cradle!  

 

“Woo!  With a man’s head between your legs, you’ll never fail!”  NTD continues to be quite possibly the stupidest man alive as the ref drops for the count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!—Edwin gets his right shoulder up for a moment, but Fallout clasps his knees tighter and MacPhisto falls again!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THR—Edwin pops his left shoulder up, looking for more luck on that sound, but once again goes down faster than a Saigon whore in a French casino!  He kicks his foot, trying to set it on the bottom rope, but he can’t quite reach!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE—and the crowd lets out a huge sigh of relief as Edwin finally gets his foot on the ropes, forcing the ref to break the count!   A mildly irate but still collected Fallout unlocks his legs from the Mac Daddy’s neck and steamrolls forward to punish the offending leg, but as he shoots past Edwin, MacPhisto catches Fallout’s right leg and tears it out from under him with a dragon screw legwhip!  Fallout tumbles to the ground and with a quick jerk Edwin drags the man 50 pounds his junior away from the ropes.  The Mac Daddy tightens his grip, elevates himself, and wrenches back on the leg, locking Fallout in a snug half-crab submission!  “And Edwin finally escapes Fallout’s vicious onslaught with a careful leg takedown and a submission.  If nothing else, this’ll buy Edwin a little time to get his head back on straight—literally!  Fallout gave his neck a brutal workout over these past two minutes, and Edwin’s got to be feeling it!”

 

Like a mighty oarsmen rowing across the Atlantic, Edwin wrenches back on Fallout’s leg with long, deliberate pulls, yelling “STROOOOOKE!” every couple seconds and shouting “PORT!  STARBOARD!  STARBUCKS!” when he deems necessary, in a Tourettesian spew of mockery and mirth.  As usual, the crowd gets into it, adopting Edwin’s chant…

 

“STROOOOOKE!

PORT!

STARBOOOOOOOOOOARD!”

 

“How does he do it?  He makes us all look like grinning idiots, Curry.”

 

“You don’t need so much help with that…”  

 

“STROOOOOKE!

PORT!

STARBOOOOOOOOOOARD!”

 

Fallout’s clearly not going to be tapping anytime soon, but Edwin’s bridged so far over his back that he can’t break out of the submission.  However, Edwin’s achieved what he wanted with the half-crab: a rest for his tired self.  Never really having much ambition to make Fallout tap in the first place, Edwin releases the Nuclear Weapon and yanks him up by his arm.  Charged up by the crowd’s wanton (if ridiculous) enthusiasm, the Mac Daddy whips Fallout to the far turnbuckle and charges behind him, leaping and turning to avalanche the high-flyer in the corner!  Fallout stumbles out of the corner and right into Edwin’s grasp—the Mac Daddy locks a headlock, raises a hand to the crowd, and under a roar of cheers, dashes out of the corner and leaps, bringing Fallout down in a sharp bulldog right across a pair of Mac Daddytastic knees!

 

“Big Midnight Special from Edwin off of the avalanche!  Here’s the cover!”

 

ONE!

 

TW—and the resilient Fallout kicks out despite the big impact.  He fiercely shoves Edwin off of him and climbs to his feet, but to his surprise his right leg gives out beneath him!  “Guess Edwin’s half-crab did more than he expected—and more than Fallout expected too!” laughs Curry.  Fallout studies his leg for a moment of disbelief, but the roar of the crowd draws his attention back to his opponent.  Edwin stands ahead of him, making a little picture frame with his fingers, and then raising his arms high into the air.

 

Fallout figures out about 2 seconds too late that this was, in fact, the signal for a field goal.

 

WHAM!  A big rising boot meets Fallout’s face and flips him backwards as Edwin retracts his foot and holds up 3 fingers, signaling a successful conversion on fourth down!  The ICTV champion, now starting to take control, pulls Fallout up and slams an elbow into his gut.  Fallout spins around his own axis and falls right into a rear waistlock from Edwin and a big backwards pull!  Edwin holds Fallout, kicking like a turtle on his back, at the apex for a few moments, and then falls backwards to finish a strong delayed German suplex!  The crowd is roaring again, and rather than cover, Edwin goes for the coup de gras—he pulls Fallout up, leans him on the ropes, delivers a slap to the right cheek (“OOOO!”), a symmetrical slap to the left cheek (“OOOO!”), a graceful flourish with the right arm, and finally, a charging clothesline that flips Fallout backwards over the top rope and to the outside of the ring!

 

“Drink up, Fallout,” snickers Curry, “cause you just got a Cocktail O’ Shame, on the house!”

 

“But Edwin’s a dolt for it!” snaps NTD.  “You don’t actively choose to go outside the ring with a 3-time Hardcore Gamer’s Champion!  Particularly not when you’re a fey wuss from Britain!”

 

“NTD,” retorts Curry, “don’t forget what happened on Storm!  Edwin MacPhisto put Fallout’s Clan crony Spider Nekura through our announce table with an Encore Cross!  It doesn’t get much more hardcore than that!”

 

“Bah!  That was a one-time phenomenon!”

 

“Oh yeah?  Watch this!” counters Curry, pointing towards the ring.

 

NTD looks up just as Edwin comes sailing out of the ring, suicide diving between the top and middle ropes to crash directly into a rising Fallout and send both men into the guardrail, a crumpled heap!  “That wasn’t hardcore!  That was just stupid!” sneers the pantsless wonder.

 

“Well, maybe,” concedes Curry, “but the people sure liked it!”  The fans at ringside are overjoyed at the chance to slap their hero MacPhisto on the back and sling empty beer cups at Fallout, and Edwin is delighted to see them do so.  Fallout, being the one getting pasted with wet plastic, is less pleased.  As he snaps at a particularly aggressive cup-slinger wearing a Grand Slam Midnight Carnival jersey, Edwin scoops him up from behind and drops him over a knee with a stiff backbreaker!  With a cordial “Come on now, I’m sure you all have leftover beverages that have gone flat,” the Mac Daddy beckons to the front-row fans to give Fallout a bath—and they oblige!  Watery Pepsi, stale beer, and fruit punch up the wazoo splashes down on Fallout in a sticky, splashy mess of humiliation!  The referee would do something to scold Edwin, but he’s too busy standing on the ring apron and laughing his head off.  “Fallout’s taken a rather unpleasant bath—it’ll take Thoth, the Clan’s Master Launderer, hours to get out all those stains!”  Unsympathetic, Edwin pulls the sticky Fallout up, grabs him by the waistline of his shorts, and heaves him into the side of the ring, generating a solid thump and another wave of cheers.  “In a strange role reversal, Edwin’s dominating the action on the outside, and getting himself quite a warm-up for the sure to be brutal tactics of Sacred comes this Sunday!  Who better to battle than the man who originally taught the Aussie everything he knew, back in the long and storied days of Prime Evil?”

 

Edwin follows Fallout to the apron and brings his sticky self up off the ground.  With a slight push, he rolls Fallout up over the apron and into the ring, then climbs up himself.  Fallout crawls to his feet inside the ring as Edwin begins to climb through the second and third ropes, but suddenly Fallout bursts to life and launches towards Edwin with a shoulder block!  The blow clips Edwin in the chest and sends him toppling off the apron and into an unprotected landing on the outside!  The crowd is in an uproar, and Curry’s astounded!  “Fallout bursts back to life, and shows that neither stale beer nor watery Pepsi can keep a bad man down!” calls Curry.  Still catching his breath but running on the adrenaline of having just brutalized a Carny, Fallout grabs onto the top rope and pulls himself up top!  With a bounce, the Nuclear One goes sailing out towards a prone MacPhisto, a human bomb about to be dropped…

 

…and the crowd roars with discontent as Fallout lands the Nuke on the downed Edwin, crushing all the air from his lungs and earning a few more plastic cups to the head!  Fallout shrugs these off, however, as he gathers himself at the guardrail and drags a weakened Edwin back towards the announce table!  “And this is why you don’t humiliate a Clannie!” cackles NTD, clearing monitors out of the way as Fallout shoves Edwin into the table’s edge gut-first!

 

“Don’t help him!”

 

“It’s all right, Curry—it’s justice!  Muahahaha!”  With a Sacredesque holler, NTD pushes his chair back and watches in anticipation as Fallout pulls Edwin up to his groggy feet and rolls him onto the table.  Fallout climbs up next, trying to keep the weight off his still-shaky right leg, and upon finding his balance rips Edwin up off the already oscillating wood.  In the ring, the referee desperately starts a fast count-out, trying to dissuade Fallout from what he’s about to do…

 

“Edwin had better wake up quickly, or Fallout’ll be doing Sacred a huge favor in the softening up department!” bemoans Curry.  The ref quickly counts, getting up to four before Fallout can slide Edwin into a front face lock and elevate him…

 

“Meltdown through the table!  Meltdown through MY table!  I feel so important!” squeals NTD!  The ref hits six, and then winces as Fallout briefly lifts Edwin up…

 

…and the Mac Daddy kicks his feet and plants them down!  Fallout lifts again…and Edwin plants them one more time, nearly slipping off of the announce table!  Now just plain frustrated, Fallout goes to lift Edwin once more, but the now slightly-aware Mac Daddy launches a toe kick forward and into Fallout’s right leg, re-aggravating the work he did earlier!  Fallout’s leg gives out, and with one desperate lunge, Edwin lobs a shotei into his chest to rocket him backwards and off the announce table!  “Big palm strike from MacPhisto—and there goes Fallout!”  Unable to control his fall, Fallout crashes into the concrete on his hip and rolls away from the guardrail, wincing in pain!  “This is getting out of control!” shouts Curry!  “The hardcore high-flying fiend Fallout has brought out the best—or, depending on how you look at it, the worst in Edwin tonight!”  Edwin himself barely lands on his feet as he stumbles off the announce table, nearly tripping over a monitor on his way back to the ring.  The referee’s count reaches nine before Edwin hops up to apron.  It looks like Fallout’s going to be counted out, but Edwin, still worn out from his previous ordeal and the damage from Fallout’s Nuke, slides right back off the apron with an anticlimactic “whump.”  The ref’s count begins anew as both men move for the ring, Edwin trying to pull himself up and Fallout just trying to keep breathing!  Edwin rolls into the ring for a breather, laying flat on his back, and Fallout drags himself along the floor, climbing up the ring stairs on his way in…

 

“What’s Fallout doing?” wonders Curry.  “He’s…he’s going right up top already!  This man has a deathwish--”

 

“—or he’s got a deathwish for Edwin!  Here comes the frogsplash!”

 

The crowd is astounded, but Fallout keeps going!  He climbs to the top and leaps off towards the downed Edwin, who looks up and thinks: well, shit.

 

And in a desperation maneuver, Edwin throws his knees up at the last second, crushing Fallout’s gut!  The Nuclear One hits hard and stumbles to his feet, but his right leg gives out, and Edwin pounces on it!  He rolls back and wrenches into a half-crab for the second time tonight, and Fallout is wincing and crying out this time!  “Fallout took a big spill off the announce table, and now Edwin’s got him in a wicked submission once more!  Unorthodox approach for Edwin, but he’s had enough tonight!  Sacred’s actions have put him over the edge!”

 

“It’s just theme music, Curry!”

 

“It’s damn gooooood theme music, though!”

 

Edwin rolls back again, pulling at Fallout’s leg and twisting it around, locking in a rotating half-crab, constantly torquing at Fallout’s knee and keeping him in a half crab all the while.   Edwin’s putting immense pressure on the smaller man, using all of his leverage…Fallout winces and tries to shake out of it…

 

…but he can’t hang on, and the Nuclear Weapon taps to Edwin’s contorted half-crab!  The referee calls for the bell, and Funyon makes the booming announcement as Edwin quickly releases Fallout!

 

“Your winner, by submission—EDWIN MACPHISTOOOOO!”  The crowd roars with approval as Fallout rolls away, clutching his knee, and Edwin looks on, happy-go-lucky and grinning as the ref hands him his ICTV belt.

 

“Look at Edwin, grinning!  It’s a bit odd, NTD, but I think Edwin just showed us the kind of intensity he’s going to need if he’s going to overcome Sacred, his most…uh…tenacious opponent, in quite some time!”

 

Edwin holds his belt high and poses on the nearest turnbuckle as “Love Rollercoaster” hits…and Edwin looks confused for a second, as he realizes that “Battleflag” should be bumping.  The alert Mac Daddy hops off the turnbuckle and checks his corners, wary for Sacred…and out of the crowd comes a dashing figure, wielding a plastic bowl!  Edwin adopts a martial arts pose and laughs, begging Sacred to bring it, and suddenly Sacred dives into the ring and tosses the bowl to Edwin!  MacPhisto drops the belt and catches the bowl…and Sacred dropkicks it right into his face!  “Uh…Bowlchairto from Sacred!” cries Curry, and the crowd is on its feet with astounded boos!  Edwin staggers back to his feet, but Sacred gives him a toe-kick in the gut as the music blares!

 

“ROLLERCOASTER!  OF EVIL, EVIL, EVIL!”

 

Sacred leaps…and flattens Edwin’s face into the ICTV belt with the Cruel Fate!  Edwin collapses and Sacred recaptures his plastic bowl, waving it above his head and standing tall in the center of the ring as “Rollercoaster of Evil!” blares on!  The crowd boos, and as Fallout rolls out of the ring and tries to stumble up the ramp, he shoots his old protégé a small grin of almost-satisfaction.  The kid’s got something…

 

“…and Edwin is down, with Sacred towering over him, hefting a plastic bowl high in the sky!  Edwin took the Cruel Fate on the US Title earlier, and now he took it on the ICTV belt!  If Sacred can borrow Thugg’s belt, he’ll have the whole spectrum!  This feud is totally weird, but on Sunday, it’s going to be settled…well, at least somewhat.  Who knows whether the belt’ll be on the line or if the theme music will, or both, but there’s one thing these are sure to give us!”  Curry waits, and then finishes it off!  “A Rollercoaster of Wrestling!”

 

“…I hate you so much…”

 

We cut to commercial as Sacred dances in the ring, kissing his plastic bowl, and doing an Irish jig over Edwin’s limp form…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Backstage, a camera focuses in on Mistress Sarah.  The new Hardcore Gamers Champion traverses the hallways of the arena, coming off her match against Spider Nekura, and she appears to be returning to her locker room for some much needed rest after her SWF Smarkdown workout.  The camera zooms in on her from behind, and she stops, hesitating as if detecting a presence behind her (other than the camera's, of course).  She quickly whirls around to face her stalker--

 

--and is stunned as a steel chair smashes atop her head!  A startled Sarah pitches forward from the shock of the metal chair striking her hard skull!  The camera pulls backward now to reveal Sarah's attacker... it's Longdogger Pete!

 

Pete tosses the chair aside and goes to work on Sarah, delivering a scissor kick atop her back side as she hunches over, causing her to crumple to the floor.  Pete bends his knees to get closer to her, rolling her over so that her eyes look into his.  He menacingly holds a fist over her face as he begins speaking to her.

 

"That's for costing me the title shot against the Boston Strangler," Pete mutters.  "Now, listen up, little lady, because you've made me upset.  What I want from you is to go down that hall into Stubby McWeed's office--"

 

That is all Pete manages to get out.  Sarah suddenly lashes out, bending her knees and releasing quickly to kick Pete powerfully with both legs simultaneously.  Sarah's heeled boots strike Pete across the face, and Pete has no choice but to react, shouting out in pain as he turns away from her.  Sarah scrambles to her feet and launches herself upon Pete, hitting him square in the chest with a Taekwon do back kick which backs Pete up several feet as he tries to evade her offense.

 

Sarah continues her assault with a high martial arts kick to Pete's upper body, but Pete deftly catches her leg in the air!  Sarah isn't through yet, leaping in the air and spinning her other leg around for an enziguri--but she telegraphs the move, and Pete is ready for her, catching that leg as well!  Sarah has nowhere to go but down, and Pete is all too happy to send her on her way, slamming her down to the floor with the Longdogger Denial!

 

Sarah lies on the floor, wheezing, trying to catch her breath.  Pete takes advantage of her prone status, quickly snatching the long leather bullwhip from Sarah's belt before she has a chance to react.  Sarah tries to sit up, but then Pete holds her down by sitting atop her chest.  He unfurls the bullwhip and holds it down against her throat, trying to strangle her on the spot.

 

"As I was saying," Pete continues without missing a beat.  "I want you to go down to Stubby's office and tell him that you want to be booked at the upcoming pay-per-view.  That you want to defend your precious hardcore title against none other than the Longdoggah.  I want you to make that match, Sarah.  Are we in agreement?"

 

Sarah shakes her head, trying to speak, but Pete tightens the whip around Sarah's throat.  She begins to turn a fair shade of blue, but continues to shake her head.

 

Pete continues to force the issue with Sarah.  "I said, are we in agreement?" he asks her as she continues to strain against Pete's hold on her.

 

Finally, exhausted from the effort, Sarah gives in, nodding her agreement.  Pete removes the whip from around her neck and tosses it aside, then stands up, releasing his tight grip on the hardcore champion.  "That's all I wanted to hear.  See you in the ring."

 

And as he walks off, Sarah gets to her feet.  "Bastard," she mutters as she continues down the hall in the direction she was going, rubbing at her reddened throat.  "I would've asked for that match anyway."

[Guest BA_Baracus]

He walks through the metal detectors, nodding to the Army Reserves men standing by the wall.  X moves some dreads out of his face, and strides down the long carpet to his gate.  To his future.

 

Another sister?  Why didn’t anyone tell him?  Why didn’t she tell him?  Was he really this hated by his family?  One dead mother, a father that he never knew, even before his accident.  Did Emmanuel Phoenix really wish this fate on his child, leaving him to never know his true dad.  This was the life he had to wake up to.  And to make matters worse, that bastard Thugg, HVT… Damien.  He did this.  He took a part of his life that should have been a joyous reunion, and turned it into a hospital visit…

 

Hoisting his bag over his shoulder, X walked near to his gate.  He could still smell his own sweat, no time to shower at all… but he really didn’t care about that.  He just wanted to make it.  He wanted to find her, to talk to her, to find out about everything.  This was the key to unlocking the memories that for now were gray misty shadows somewhere in the back of his mind.  All of the things that were on the tip of his tongue, she could say.  All of the things that were on the edge of his thoughts… she could reveal.

 

That is, if she was alright.

 

“Now boarding all seats for United 1066 to New Orleans International.”

 

He went to the gate desk.

 

>Flight Attendant “Hello sir, will you be bringing this bag with you?”

 

>X “Yes.”

 

>FA “Okay, please put this tag over the straps for me, and answer these questions.”

 

He answered them.  At this point, it was autopilot.  He couldn’t wait to get on that dreaded plane, nervousness gripping him with each hour of waiting in the air.  The lady looked at him.

 

>FA “Sir, are you alright… you look a little… shaken up.”

 

>X “I’m… okay…”

 

>FA “First time flying?”

 

X smiled, for the first time in hours.

 

>X “No, but it is my first time… meeting someone.”

 

>FA “Well good luck… we’re boarding now.”

 

She walked to the gate door as X once again put his duffel over his shoulder.  First a hot shower, some decent clothes… and then they would meet.  And hopefully she’d be in good condition before he got there.  Hopefully there would be no interruption…

 

“Sir!  Sir, you have to pass the security check!!!!”

 

He knew, even before he turned around and looked in the direction of the gaze of the travelers.

 

“SIR!!!  You CAN’T go in THERE!!!”

 

X dropped his bag there in the aisle and turned around!

 

“Yo NI**A!!!  YOU STOLE MY F*CKIN’ CAR!!!”

 

Thugg… Damien… strode down the aisle.  In no hurry, really.  Like someone’s gonna stop him, the guy’s 7’2” for cryin’ out loud!  His Timberlands shake the hangar as he approaches, cracking his knuckles!

 

>HVT “Cuz, I should wreck you right now, just like I did your sister!!”

 

>Traveler “What the hell??”

 

X stands there, his arms to his side, his head down…

 

>HVT “What you gonna do?  Give me the Xception?  You can’t keep me down, cuz!  The only way to get rid of me is to kill me, son!  Kill me, like I tried to KILL YOU months ago!!  You and me is like roaches, you need to kill motha f*ckas like us dead!  Only one can survive playa!!”

 

Thugg stops, only a little ways away from X, and slowly inches his way forward…

 

>HVT “But you can’t just kill the roach… you gotta kill their families too.  And word is you have another sista… ain’t that right?”

 

Xstasy looks up, furious, a hint of yellow fire in his brown eyes.  His fingers move as he prepares for the fight of his life, his and his families…

 

>HVT “Yeah, that’s right, I knew something could get at you, dogg.  Yo, let’s end this right now.  Let’s go cuz… you and me.  It ain’t got to be about no belts or sh*t!  This is about one of us being left.  Only ONE!!!  One of us got to lose, and one got to win.  One got to stay, and one got to go.  One got to live… And one…”

 

HVT looks into the eyes of his mortal adversary, pausing.  The silence is nearly deafening as the blood boils and The Drug’s heart pumps like a bass machine in his chest.

 

“STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!”

 

Thugg stops approaching, and suddenly frowns.  Xstasy looks behind him, and finds two Army soldiers, with M-16’s pointed right at HVT’s body.

 

“Let me see your hands!!  NOW!!!”

 

>HVT “… awwww… man this is some bullsh*t.  You gotta let these ni**as come and arrest me, and sh*t?  Yo man, you supposed to be Xstasy… the perfect f*ckin’ drug!  You supposed to come at me with all you got, cuz!!”

 

X stands there as the two men approach HVT, and grab his hands, placing him in handcuffs behind his back and pulling him!

 

“Sir, come with us…”

 

>HVT “This is bullsh*t… now what?  They got me all cuffed, so come on!  Ain’t you a man!  Why don’t you come see me now, b*tch?  Come on!!!”

 

“Sir!  Please…”

 

HVT struggles against the men as they pull him back, his 450 pounds nearly breaking their grasp.

 

>HVT “You gonna just let them take me without getting any licks in!  You ain’t nothin’ but a little punk b*tch ass motha f*cka that can’t even protect his damn sister!  Pussy ass b*tch!!!  Yeah, you won’t step to me ni**a!  You never can step to me!  I’mma beat your ass like my housewife, b*tch!!”

 

X looks on, but says nothing as the troops, accompanied by Airport security, take Thugg away, kicking and screaming, down the hall…

 

>HVT “You won’t even fight for her honor!  You ain’t even a man, motha f*cka!!!  I can’t wait ‘till Sunday!  I can’t WAIT!!  Ni**a I’mma WRECK… YO’… SH*T!!!!  Bring your pussy ass over here, I’ll beat you with my hands all cuffed up!!!  You ain’t nothing!  You gonna get beat just like your sister, just like you always get beat!  Just like I beat you already!!!  You will NEVER… NEVER kill H-V-T!!!  It’s over, ni**a… I’mma kill YOU!!!”

 

More expletives and strong phrases are uttered, but X doesn’t hear them.  He hears nothing at all but a constant droning buzz of neurons and blood vessels.  As he stands there, time seems to suspend, nobody seems to exist, and his mind entertains only one thought…

 

… kill HVT.  Forever…

 

“SIR!!!!”

 

>X “Huh…?”

 

X finds the flight attendant at his elbow, shouting his name…

 

>FA “Sir, they’ve been calling you for the past thirty seconds, it’s our final call to board.”

 

>X “Oh…”

 

>FA “Are you getting on sir?”

 

But the drug doesn’t answer her, he just looks into the direction of the security clearance.  Thugg was right.  He couldn’t protect his sister.  He can’t even protect himself… is there anything he can do…

 

X picks up his bag, and walks towards the gate.  As he steps around the cordon and gets on the ramp, he disappears in its darkness on his journey.  A journey he must take with his head down… dejected…

 

… defeated…

[Guest BA_Baracus]

Note - See this show?  When I got here at 10 PM I had one match and that's it.  By 1, people had put this together.

 

So...don't complain about 2 or 3 days not being enough to get anything in...

 

HANDICAP MATCH

Jay Dawg and Sacred vs. Xtsasy

- Dawg and Sacred win with some help from Thugg.  Stevens runs in which leads to...

 

NON-TITLE, NO-DQ MATCH

Hville Thugg vs. Mark Stevens

- ...this match!  This match gets moved up and Stevens wins a brutal and bloody brawl.

 

NON-TITLE SINGLES MATCH

Edwin MacPhisto vs. Fallout

- Edwin gets the win.