Scott Keith reviews TNA

[Guest bob_barron]

The SmarK Rant for NWA-TNA - June 4, 2003

 

- Live from Nashville, TN.

 

- Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West.

 

- Well, since Ashish asked me so nicely and Law & Order is in reruns

until

the fall anyway, I figured I'd start doing these again every week. To

be

honest I haven't paid more than 5 minutes worth of attention total to

the

promotion since abandoning it months ago, but I can always go back over

this past year's WONs to catch up if need be.

 

- A good video package sets up the Jarrett-Gilberti main event tonight.

Russo's long hair and clean shaven look makes him look like Tag Jones.

 

- Jarrett has a chat with security and Gilberti leads SEX in a group

prayer.

 

- Kid Romeo, Damien and Johnny Swinger v. CM Punk, Matt Stryker &

Frankie Kazarian. Swinger without Simon is just an empty shell. Romeo

starts with Stryker and gets a rollup for two, and grabs a headlock.

Stryker

takes him down with a drop toehold and a dropkick for toe. Kazarian

comes

in but gets bulldogged by Romeo for two. Romeo has such a great look

that

I'm shocked the WWE didn't pick him up and do something with him after

the buyout. Swinger and Kazarian criss-cross and Kazarian armdrags him

to

death and Punk carries on working the arm. High knee in the corner

follows, but Swinger counters with a Bossman slam for two. They

exchange sleepers and that goes nowhere, so Damien comes in and

exchanges rollups with Swinger for two. They work off a headlock for a

bit

and Swinger comes back in, but gets armdragged again. Stryker lives up

to

his name with some ground and pound, but a cheapshot turns the tide, as

he

walks into a Rydien bomb from Swinger. Inverted atomic drop and Romeo

slingshots in with a clothesline for two. Romeo gets a corner

clothesline,

but a second one is countered with a monkey flip by Stryker, although

Damien is able to cut off the hot tag and keep him in the heel corner.

Northern Lights suplex gets two. Corner clothesline gets two. Stryker

tries

a comeback with a small package for two, and a rollup for two. Damien

backdrops him for two, however, as the match starts to drag. Back to

the

heel corner, as Swinger pounds away and gets drawn into a slugfest.

Stryker

gets a weak hot tag and Kazarian gets a weak springboard elbow for two.

Swinger and Damien try a double-team, but Kazarian gets both at once

and

follows them out with a tope con hilo. Punk makes a bizarre choice,

choosing to run right into Damien while running the ropes (despite him

being the only guy on the heel side of the apron), but it's just an

excuse to

get everyone on the floor for the highspot series. It's the usual WCW

trainwreck spot. Back in, Stryker and Swinger slug it out and Swinger

gets

a jawbreaker, but Punk Gorybombs him. Next up, Romeo takes down Punk

with a death valley driver, and Stryker gets his own on Romeo.

Kazarian

hits Damien with one of those bizarre twisting inverted DDT deals that

all

the indy guys do, and that's enough for the pin at 11:12. Nothing

special

technically speaking, but as indy matches go it was fine and it's neat

to see

these guys getting that kind of time to screw around and work the

crowd.

**3/4

 

- Meantime, Raven compares Jeff Jarrett to David Hasselhoff. Ah, but

Jarrett isn't a draw in Germany, so the analogy isn't really valid.

 

- Meantime, Chris Harris and James Storm have a heart-to-heart.

 

- Hard 10 tournament: Sonny Siaki v. Vampire Warrior. You'd think

Dave

Heath would find a new gimmick one of these days. Warrior gets two

quick

shots to go up 2-0 as Tenay explains the rules. First wrestler to 10

wins, but

you have to win by 2. All weapons count as 1, tables count as 5.

That's a

pretty neat idea, actually, lending structure to the hardcore matches.

A

garbage can puts Warrior up 4-0 quickly. In the ring, Siaki blocks a

lid but

gets caught in a suplex onto the same lid. Oh, the irony. They head

to the

apron, where Siaki canes him through a table for 6 points, putting him

up 6-

4. Back in, Siaki kicks the can in Warrior's face to go up 7-4.

Warrior

drops him onto the can for a point. The Implant DDT puts Siaki down

and

Warrior goes for the pin, which is rather dumb to do. Siaki finishes

him

with the neckbreaker off the apron, through another table, for the 12-5

win

at 3:49. Sandman lays him out with the cane in retribution for

pre-match

comments. The match was no good, but building the drama with the point

system rather than meaningless weapons shots is pretty fucking

brilliant. *

 

- Mike Tenay does a sitdown interview with Raven, who talks about his

feuds with Dreamer and Sandman in 95, although overestimating their

influence a bit. He talks about getting paid hundreds of thousands of

dollars

to sit in the front row and drink beer while in WCW. He finds it

insulting

that Jarrett could rise to NWA champion on politics alone despite

having no

talent or charisma.

 

- Meantime, Don Harris declares that the tag match won't happen because

he won't team with "their kind", i.e. Ron Killings.

 

- David Young & Tracy v. Don Harris & Ron Killings. Tracy is a chick

in a

schoolgirl uniform, and David Young is the Master of the Spinebuster.

It's

like a cop sitcom from hell. I guess Killings is a babyface. Harris

doesn't

show up, so it's a handicap match, although really Tracy doesn't

present

much of a handicap situation. They fight over a lockup and Killings

gets a

rollup for two, then pounds away. Hiptoss and armdrags follow, and a

running powerslam. Killings then switches to the arm and gets a

legdrop,

but Tracy comes in off the top with a bodypress to turn the tide.

Young gets

a snap suplex for two. He tags Tracy in for some weak stomps, which

Killings thankfully no-sells. She tags back out again and Young pounds

Killings with a kick to the back, but Killings rolls up him for two.

Tracy

keeps averting the tag. Young misses a charge and gets hit with an

inverted

powerbomb out of the corner as this thing grinds to a screeching halt

and

dies a slow death. Killings gets the axe kick for two. Sidekick gets

two.

Tracy comes in again off the top, but Killings catches her with a

powerbomb

and then hits Young with something offscreen while a "nurse" tends to

Tracy. The ref is distracted by yet another valet, and the nurse goes

low on

Killings as Young hits the MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER for the pin at

6:52. That was just all kinds of bad and overbooked. -* It's too bad

they

couldn't milk Killings' act for anything before he got exposed as a low

rent

Booker T.

 

- Meantime, Jarrett lets us know that he's defending the title tonight

for US.

Erik Watts, looking like Brian Adams, breaks into the interview to hit

on

Goldylocks. The long hair and pimp shirt don't help his image.

 

- Video package on Triple X. Weird seeing Daniels & Low Ki teaming up

here after seeing them doing such an intense feud in ROH.

 

- Chris Harris & James Storm v. BG James & Konnan. Storm & Harris

make up before the match and turn on Chris Sabin, which is presume sets

up

a tag title match in a couple of weeks. Big brawl to start and James

gets

dumped, and Storm follows with a plancha onto them. Back in, Konnan

dropkicks Harris in the knee to put his side in control. James puts

him down

with the funky punches for two. Konnan takes him down with a

submission,

and they criss-cross and collide. Tags abound as Storm comes in with a

flying headscissors and a double-clothesline on the heels. Konnan hits

Harris with a backdrop suplex, however, and the rolling clothesline on

Storm. Another try on Harris is countered by a spear for two. It's

BONZO

GONZO and James gets the pumphandle, but Storm escapes with a

superkick for two. Harris gets a sunset flip on Konnan, but he rolls

through

and dropkicks him for two. Storm takes a break to harass Christopher

Daniels, as Konnan hits Harris with the carpet muncher. The Harris

brothers run in and hit Konnan with the H-Bomb, however, and Harris

gets

the pin at 5:28. Kind of deflates the effectiveness of reuniting the

team

when they need help to win their first match back. 1/2*

 

- Goldylocks brings out Kid Kash for an interview. He offers some

misogynistic opinions about Goldy and his manly valet Trinity, until

Goldy

finally gets in Kash's face. He accuses them of being lesbians and

Goldy

counters with a dick joke, prompting a brawl between Kash and Erik

Watts.

One guess who wrote this segment.

 

- Meantime, Gilberti chats with Russo on the cell phone and talks with

Sanders about how he's not going to be a joke anymore. 10 years too

late,

Glen.

 

- D-Lo Brown v. AJ Styles. This is a #1 contender match. They

literally

promise to tear the house down in the pre-match promo, so they'd better

have something special planned. Brown grabs a headlock to start and

they

criss-cross into a D-Lo shoulderblock. AJ comes back with a rana and

they

do a stalemate sequence. They fight over a lockup and Styles slugs

away

and gets a rollup for one, but D-Lo dropkicks him down. Brown misses a

charge and AJ springboards in with the inverted DDT for two. He STILL

can't hit that cleanly. Styles gets a dropkick, but Brown blocks the

Styles

Clash and takes him down with a lariat. That gets two. D-Lo nearly

takes

his head off with a quebrada, but AJ comes back with a superkick.

Springboard dropkick puts D-Lo on the floor, but when Styles follows

with

a dive, D-Lo catches him and backdrops him on the ramp. To the top,

and

Brown frog splashes him from the ring to the ramp. Raven makes an

appearance as D-Lo gets two back in the ring. They slug it out and

Styles

hits him with a roundhouse kick, as both guys are out. 6:00 in? AJ

goes up

for a tornado DDT, but Brown blocks it and reverses to a Diamond Cutter

for two. Brown goes back up and gets crotched, but gets the Skyhigh

powerbomb off the top for two, as Raven pulls out the ref. Raven nails

D-

Lo with the chair and Styles springboards in with a 450 for two. That

was

unique. Styles Clash on a chair gets the pin at 9:08. Raven lays him

out

with another chair right away. Nothing special at all with little in

the way of

transitions and lots of laying around, and yet another run-in finish

really hurt

things. **1/4

 

- Don does his usual enthusiastic shill of next week's show, including

the

NWA champion defending against AJ Styles & Raven. Guess that pretty

much foreshadows the winner of the title match tonight

 

- NWA World title: Jeff Jarrett v. Glen Gilberti. They fight over a

lockup

to start and Glen takes him down with a wristlock. Gilberti overpowers

him

and gets a hiptoss, and takes him down with a couple of armdrags.

Elbow

and he stomps away, but Jarrett slugs back and spears him out of the

ring. I

guess this is the new, serious, Gilberti but it's still the same guy

who fought

giant bananas on the WWA PPV. Jarrett chairshots him and introduces

him

to the railing a couple of times, but Mike Sanders comes down to

ringside

and superkicks Jarrett. AGAIN with the interference. Gilberti

catapults

Jarrett into the post and sends him to the other railing. Finally they

head

back into the ring and slug it out, and Gilberti dropkicks the knee and

starts

working on it. Stepover toehold, but Jarrett slugs out of it. Jarrett

tries a

figure-four, but Gilberti reverses to an anklelock (!?). That's an,

um,

interesting choice of submission holds. Jarrett fights for the ropes

like it's

Kurt Angle applying the move, and then Gilberti gets a Russian

legsweep.

He goes for the Village People's Elbow, but Jarrett trips him up and

gets the

figure-four, but Gilberti reverses. Jarrett escapes and DDTs him, and

both

guys are down. Jarrett makes the babyface comeback and gets a sloppy

neckbreaker for two. Enzuigiri gets two. Jarrett goes up with a

bodypress

that Gilberti rolls through for two. Gilberti gets the stunner for

two. He

grabs a chair and stomps on Jarrett's ankle with it, but Jarrett gets

his own

stunner for two. They block each other and Gilberti gets a Stroke on

Jarrett

for two. Jarrett gives him a weak powerbomb out of the corner and the

ref is

bumped. Russo makes another appearance, but SHOCKINGLY turns on

Gilberti and Jarrett Strokes him for the pin at 13:44. Way overbooked

and

it's the freakin' DISCO INFERNO in a "serious" angle, but they stuck to

the

basics as far as the actual match went and it worked well for the most

part.

Gilberti is not the guy to hang with the main eventers, though. ***

 

The Bottom Line:

 

Couple of decent matches for my $10, which is really all you can ask

for

this sort of PPV, and most of the storylines at least make enough

logical

sense to build for future shows. Some of the stuff in the midcard is

BRUTAL, though, so hopefully they have a main event scene that can

continue to carry the shows.

 

Until next week...

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

I sadly have to agree with a lot of what he said. Disco Glenferno is DOA at this point, he has completely fizzled in every possible way. Which sucks, because for a while he looked like he might work out shockingly well, then it just all went to several different layers of hell.

[syxx2001 0]

i laughed at some of that. like the cop sitcom from hell.

[Guest The Decadent Slacker]

tis a sad day. he could have at least tried to find something POSITIVE, as in look for something positive not be "pleasantly surprised" by shit. he kinda killed the bizz i had from that decent show that i was surprisingly into. Dames, hurry, for the love of god.

 

but it's shit like that i don't like from him. he even fit a bunch of his "catch phrases" in! god.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Actually, I was expecting Keith to be much more cynical. This kinda surprised me.

[syxx2001 0]

yea. he actually liked it, a little. he hates raw though.

[Guest The Decadent Slacker]

i just don't see the point of reviewing something week after week, only to bash it. & spending money just to bash something is just retarded. worst yet, he called trinity MANLY! that just pissed me off, mainly since i'd bang her, secondarily because she's much better than a few others that are working on a major scale

 

"enjoying" from keith is saying that something wasn't good but it wasn't fucked up beyond belief. he doesn't really enjoy anything, he just copes with everything pessimistically. but this isn't a "Why I Hate Scott" thread yet, so i'll wait

[Guest Mole]

tis a sad day. he could have at least tried to find something POSITIVE, as in look for something positive not be "pleasantly surprised" by shit. he kinda killed the bizz i had from that decent show that i was surprisingly into. Dames, hurry, for the love of god.

 

but it's shit like that i don't like from him. he even fit a bunch of his "catch phrases" in! god.

What are you talking about? I am in the same boat as Keith here and ordered TNA for the first time in forever. I was really disappointed with the product and was expecting something a lot more. D'Lo/Styles was ***, but Jarrett/Glen was **3/4, which is better than I thought it was.

 

Anyway, what are you talking about? He did say something positive:

Couple of decent matches for my $10, which is really all you can ask

for

this sort of PPV, and most of the storylines at least make enough

logical

sense to build for future shows

 

I haven't heard him say anything like that about Raw or Smackdown in a long time. My point is that this show sucked, and I was really disappointed with it. I was actually surprised that Keith liked it that much because I usually like a show that he doesn't like. I hated this show, and he liked it for what it was.

 

Where was Lynn? Low-Ki? Red? Raven wrestling? Daniels? Kid Kash wrestle? What did I see though? Russo, Konnan, Disco eerr Glen, Sandman, Vampire Warrior, and B.G James. Very disappointing.

 

I'd rather watch Raw or Smackdown for free, and get a better show out of what I saw tonight.

Maybe I am being over critical, but I have been hearing so much good stuff about TNA, especially at this board. When I finally watch TNA, it sucks. I am going to take back on my word and order next week's show to give them the benieft of the doubt. But if that show sucks, then I won't buy the show for a LONG time.

[Guest sean pyro]

but I have been hearing so much good stuff about TNA, especially at this board. When I finally watch TNA, it sucks. I am going to take back on my word and order next week's show to give them the benieft of the doubt. But if that show sucks, then I won't buy the show for a LONG time.

I don't think anyone here has been giving TNA too much praise as of late.

 

/and as of late I mean since Raven vs Jeff

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Where was Lynn? Low-Ki? Red? Raven wrestling? Daniels? Kid Kash wrestle? What did I see though? Russo, Konnan, Disco eerr Glen, Sandman, Vampire Warrior, and B.G James. Very disappointing.

In Red's case, it's unavoidable. He's in Japan right now.

[Guest bps "The Truth" 21]

See...it's weird when you read it.

 

His writing style is so cynical in nature that you think he's down on everything...but overall he gives it a passing grade.

 

Weird.

[Guest treble charged]

Yeah, like his WrestleMania rant. It seemed like he was shitting all over everything, but in the end he said he liked the show, overall.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Did anyone else notice that Keith LIKED the way the Hard 10 matches work? I'll admit, it was kinda fun the first time, but after that it was boring. Let's see what he says about it next week...

[Guest dvkorn]

Low Ki is injured and out for a month or 2 i think. Got injured in England i think.

[Guest Lemon Drop Kid]

Where was Lynn? Low-Ki? Red? Raven wrestling? Daniels? Kid Kash wrestle? What did I see though? Russo, Konnan, Disco eerr Glen, Sandman, Vampire Warrior, and B.G James. Very disappointing.

Lynn, I dunno. Low-Ki, injured. Red, Japan. Raven, I guess they just wanted to focus on his pursuit of Jarrett's title, and the other two logical foes, D'lo and AJ, were occupied. XXX seems to have gotten a rare week off from wrestling (bummer). I agree about Kash. But hey, you shouldn't count Sandman since he appeared in roughly the same capacity Raven did. Glen's match with Jarrett was solid. The rest, agreed.

[Guest dvkorn]

Raven probably was still recovering from his concussion. That may be the reason why he did not wrestle!

[Guest sean pyro]

Jerry Lynn, Daniels, Skipper and Chris Sabin were all used on Explosion.

 

" "

[Guest The Decadent Slacker]

my point is that, as i've said, he doesn't really want or try to enjoy anything, & it shows. i thought the show was ok, & it could have been MUCH worse. what sucked sucked, what didn't didn't. my main incentive was to see Punk, Kazarian, etc since i never have. but keith has this problem where months of voluntarily devoting his life to shitty wrestling has given him a much more negative view on everything not so. He doesn't try to get into the show or enjoy it where others (Dames for one) do. a passing show for him is one where something cracks **, no canadians job & segments with people he doesn't like for whatever reason are kept to a minimum. i still say the Kash segment was one of the best heel things done in a long time.

 

Hard 10 & the fucking Nashville Battlebowl thing fall into the catagory of good idea in theory, not so good in practice. much like a lot of others

[Guest Vyce]

See...it's weird when you read it.

 

His writing style is so cynical in nature that you think he's down on everything...but overall he gives it a passing grade.

 

Weird.

That's Keith for you. He's negative even when he's positive.

[Guest goodhelmet]

eh, he's no dames

 

honestly, since keith ceased to be important...well... ever, i don't really consider him the best source on what i should look for in nwa. i leave that for the guys who have been around since day one like dames and bps.

[Guest Kid Kablam]

You know, I can tink of only a few people on this board who like SK. Part of it probably has to do with the history he has with this board, and part of it has to do with the fact that he has grown cynical beyond belief. I look at his past PPV rants, mainly to find context for stuff like the Montreal incident, and also to see the trends of wrestling throughout the past couple of decades, and he even admits that Owen Hart's death marked a turning point for him as a wrestling fan. It kind of soured his opinion of wrestling in general, and of course he directs a special brand of malice towards Vince. It's too bad. I enjoy his rants for the most part, and he grades decently (at least for american wrestling, he should stay away from Puro) and he is a pretty good writer in general. True, I enjoy other writers more (Big fan of Dr Tom with Smackdown) but Kieth always provided an interesting read. But Now I could probably gues what he says about each match before I read his report (at least on Raw. He's a little less bitter towards Smackdown). Oh well, maybe someday someone will write a Shakeseare inspired rant about him.

[Guest the 1inch punch]

I like SK

[syxx2001 0]

i like him too. theres at least one funny line in each of his raw rants.