How the Matrix Trilogy should end

[Guest GameCop]

Here's mine:

 

Enter Neo's Bedroom:

 

Neo: Whoa!! What a far out trip, dude~! All this awesome intergalactic stuff about Zion and computers and hot, sweaty chicks in leather. Far out~~~!!

 

The camera slowly moves back to reveal a long-haired, tye-dye wearing character we all know as Ted (from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure).

 

Neo/Ted: Dude, the red pill is good stuff, man. Hallucinations ROCK!! (After looking at his bedroom wall for five seconds, he starts to jump up and down on his bed while strumming the AIR GUITAR~! After five minutes of Ted's vintage guitar playing, he stumbles into his bathroom and vomits without warning).

 

Neo/Ted: Dude, the red pill is starting to wear off; I need some more of that trippy shit. (Neo/Ted slowly lumbers out his house and knocks on his neighbor's door. The neighbor is a black hippy, replete with DA FRO, white suit made with the finest imported silk, swank sunglasses, and a complementary walking stick)

 

Mustafa: Hey bitch, what's up playa?

 

Neo/Ted: Dude, it's you dude!! Holy cowa freaking bunghole, dude...its f'n Morpheus from my trip!!

 

Mustafa: Are you trippin' mo' fo'?

 

Neo/Ted: I was...that red pill you gave me...that's good shit, man. It's the best acid trip I've ever had. I was getting to the good part, too...I was about to save Zion from destruction. The Matrix needs me, dude~~!

 

Mustafa: Damn...more like the Gaytrix. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard, biiiaatch. Boy you've been watching too much television. Stop snorting shit, man. No more red pills for you. Ever. You want some pills? Get high on aspirin or something, now can you dig dat? Go back to studying before I punk you out. Now belieeeve dat, playa~!

 

Neo/Ted: C'mon, Mustafa. Please... I'll give you a hundred dollars for one more red pill...

 

Mustafa: You know what, on second thought, I'll be more than happy to do business with you.

 

Neo/Ted: Dude, do you take I. O. U's?

 

Mustafa: If you're willing to get punked via my cane up your scrawny little white ass.

 

Neo/Ted: Ok, then...hold on. (Neo/Ted hands Mustafa/Morpheus the money)

 

Mustafa: Alright, then. Stay sane, playa...if you can (laughs). Mustafa winks into the camera and says: I love screwing people out of their money....it's just so much fun~~!!!! Don't hate the playa, hate the GAME!

Edited June 5, 2003 by GameCop

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

GameCop... this is the worst thread I have ever seen in my life. I seriously think Dames should pin this above Classic Threads with a note saying: "Warning: This is what happens when you attempt to be witty/funny AND UTTERLY AND ENTIRELY SCREW UP." I mean, Jesus H. Christ were you even thinking before you posted this? Were you?

[Guest GameCop]

GameCop... this is the worst thread I have ever seen in my life. I seriously think Dames should pin this above Classic Threads with a note saying: "Warning: This is what happens when you attempt to be witty/funny AND UTTERLY AND ENTIRELY SCREW UP." I mean, Jesus H. Christ were you even thinking before you posted this? Were you?

 

You're just jealous you didn't think of this UTTERLY AMAZING ending before I did.

Edited June 6, 2003 by GameCop

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

GameCop... this is the worst thread I have ever seen in my life. I seriously think Dames should pin this above Classic Threads with a note saying: "Warning: This is what happens when you attempt to be witty/funny AND UTTERLY AND ENTIRELY SCREW UP." I mean, Jesus H. Christ were you even thinking before you posted this? Were you?

 

You're just jealous you didn't think of this UTTERLY AMAZING ending before I did.

I'm just jealous that myou discovered the online equivolent of a partial-birth abortion before me.

 

 

Move this shit to NHB.

[Guest TheMadmanGreg]

This is absolutely stupid and pointless. You seriously, SERIOUSLY need to take a tire iron to your head and fix yourself. Soon.

[Guest GameCop]

Do you know what 4,248 posts is equivalent to?

 

No life.

 

Oh, and I take it you're a devout Matrix fanboy; jk

Edited June 6, 2003 by GameCop

[Guest GameCop]

I'm just jealous that myou discovered the online equivolent of a partial-birth abortion before me.

 

 

Move this shit to NHB.

 

Sorry man, I didn't mean to pop your bubble. Seriously I just wanted to make a thread with a little bit of a laugh. You're right, though. I am a retard for creating such a thread.

Edited June 6, 2003 by GameCop

[Guest TheMadmanGreg]

Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you? Dames, can't you do something about this shit?

[Guest GameCop]

Look man, I was just joking, I don't know why you guys are so insulted by my Matrix thread. Do you work for the Wachowski's?

 

Madman Greg -- you're probably the kind of guy who tattles on others when things aren't going your way. How old are you? 8? Grow up, dude. It's a forum; don't expect Shakespeare.

Edited June 6, 2003 by GameCop

[Guest TheMadmanGreg]

Look man, I was just joking, I don't know why you guys are so insulted by my Matrix thread. Do you work for the Wachowski's?

 

Madman Greg -- you're probably the kind of guy who tattles on others when things aren't going your way. How old are you? 8? Grow up, dude. It's a forum; don't expect Shakespeare.

You're absolutely right. *I* should obviously grow up. If this thread has proven nothing else, it proves that I am entirely incapable of any form of adult expression and comprehension. This thread also displays my total lack of humor and my utter disregard for good taste.

[Guest SP-1]

Yay! Let's all jump on the kid for making a post~! OMG~!

 

Retardation in this thread notwithstanding, good attempt. Not quite what you were shooting for but good attempt.

 

As a storyteller myself, I try not to meddle with someone else's story. I'm simply going to wait and see what they do.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Yay! Let's all jump on the kid for making a post~! OMG~!

 

Retardation in this thread notwithstanding, good attempt. Not quite what you were shooting for but good attempt.

 

As a storyteller myself, I try not to meddle with someone else's story. I'm simply going to wait and see what they do.

And with this post, SP enters a bold new era of comedic genius.

 

 

Seriously, did you READ it before you started screaming "WON'T ANYBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?"

[Guest DrTom]

This certainly seems like it should belong in NHB.

[Guest SP-1]

Yes, I did. He made a jokey post. Let's put him in front of a firing squad.

[Guest Dangerous A]

Wow. DrTom is on fire!

 

He's locked the one and only why isn't Banky banned thread and moved this "gem" of a thread to NHB.

 

You go, Tom!

 

*marks*

[Guest TheMadmanGreg]

Yes, I did. He made a jokey post. Let's put him in front of a firing squad.

That was the idea, yeah.

[Guest Sandman9000]

This certainly seems like it should belong in NHB.

This certainly seems like it should belong in a dumpster.

[Guest DrTom]

Some will say those two are functionally the same.

[Guest SP-1]

Some would. Unfortunately I'd agree with the thread needing to be bagged and rossed to the rats but not NHB.

[Guest bps "The Truth" 21]

But...why must the one and only Banky thread die...when this one is allowed to live?

[Guest Kingpk]

It has to have petty bitching and flaming for AT LEAST 6 pages before it's closed, I guess.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Geez, after reading the reactions before the ending I was expecting something amazingly terrible.

 

As is, it's just terrible.

[Guest Downhome]

But...why must the one and only Banky thread die...when this one is allowed to live?

I don't understand why the other one was locked to begin with. So now bitching back and forth in NHB isn't allowed? Isn't that the point of this forum?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

 

Whoa, dude, this thread is bogus.

[Guest DrTom]

I don't understand why the other one was locked to begin with. So now bitching back and forth in NHB isn't allowed? Isn't that the point of this forum? 

To a point, yes. But that thread had long outlived whatever specks of usefulness it may have once had, and turned into one person continually making a sad spectacle of himself. Think of it as a mercy killing.

[Guest Downhome]

I don't understand why the other one was locked to begin with. So now bitching back and forth in NHB isn't allowed? Isn't that the point of this forum? 

To a point, yes. But that thread had long outlived whatever specks of usefulness it may have once had, and turned into one person continually making a sad spectacle of himself. Think of it as a mercy killing.

I know what you are saying, but I didn't think making a fuck ass out of yourself was something you aren't allowed to do in NHB. Isn't that fair game? I dunno, I just don't like to see threads ended simply because a mod or someone doesn't like the thread, when it's not against the rules.

[Guest Ripper]

But they had the same bickering going on in another thread...why have 2 20 page threads of saying" U KnoW WhaT BAnky ANd TifF aRe tHE SAme PuRsoN!!~"