I'm feeling alittle blue

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

I just wanted some feedback on this. I wrote this a few hours ago and feel like posting it. Keep in mind that this is long.

 

 

 

So many thoughts

Run through my head,

That sends me spinning

Most while I’m in bed.

 

It’s hard to eat

It’s hard to sleep,

Sometimes I just sit around

Without making a peep.

 

I have so many emotions

That I’m in over drive,

But it seems as of late

I’m starting to take a dive.

 

All of my thoughts

Are on my love,

He’s as sweet as a puppy

And as gentle as a dove.

 

Ever since he left

I’ve been wondering what to do,

I’ve thought of all the possibilities

And he has too.

 

We are both very lonely

We miss each other’s touch,

I try not to show it

But I miss him so much.

 

I kid and joke

About the future and things,

But when it comes down to it

I don’t know what the future brings.

 

This past week

Has been so hard on me,

Because I have been thinking

About my husband to be.

 

I knew once he left

Everyone would ask,

So I had to hid my emotions

And put on my mask.

 

 

I told them answers

And some deep things,

But I don’t think they knew

What emotions that it brings.

 

A lot of what I feel

Is kept from everyone,

I try and hide them

And just have fun.

 

I’m scared about my future

Because I’m not sure how it will play out,

I like to think positive

And not have a doubt.

 

As of late

I feel so mentally lost,

And I so desperately want to get back to normal

At all cost.

 

My mind is blank

And it feels like my brain is running amuck,

And if anyone could see inside

I’m sure it’d be one giant clusterfuck.

 

I have so many emotions

Dancing through my head,

That sometimes at night

Leaves me crying in bed.

 

I try and not let anyone see

What emotions have gone wrong,

I have to play it cool

I have to be strong.

 

I can’t let people see

Just how vulnerable I’ve become,

I guess it’s my pride

And me just being dumb.

 

I know I have

So many people that care,

But when anyone asks what’s wrong

All I do is stare.

 

 

I know I shouldn’t

I know I should speak my mind,

But maybe I’m reserved

Because I’m afraid of what they might find.

 

I’ve prided myself

On being so brave,

But when it comes to matters of the heart

I really begin to cave.

 

I don’t know what it is

That makes me this way,

But lately all I think about

Is my wedding day.

 

Ever since Tony

Walked into my life,

I knew that I had to have him

And be his wife.

 

I know my problem

Is that he is not here with me,

When I thought of him leaving

I never imagined just how hard it would be.

 

I want nothing more

Than to be with him,

But neither one of us can leave

Especially on a whim.

 

These thoughts have been

My sole attention,

How I really long

For someone’s affection.

 

I never really missed it

I had put it on a rack,

But being with him

Brought all my old feelings back.

 

I feel so consumed

By my thoughts and dreams,

That I feel very lost

Or so it seems.

 

 

I sit and wonder

How long will it be,

Until something can be done

And he is with me.

 

I never really thought

That someone could send me so into space,

Like my legs just got numb

While running a race.

 

Not many people

Have ever seen this side,

I think that’s because when it starts to show

I run and hide.

 

Everyone remembers

This sweet little girl,

Who was always so protected

Much like a pearl.

 

I have grown up

In these last few years,

I have shared a lot of happiness

As well as a few tears.

 

I have many friends

That want to be there,

And in their own special way

I know that they care.

 

People like Becky

Keep me on my toes,

With friends like that

Who really needs foes?

 

But in spite of that

Part of me won’t budge,

Maybe what I need

Is a little nudge.

 

Right now

I’m not thinking right,

And it’s not like I’m not trying

Because I’m trying with all my might.

 

 

Maybe it’s love

That has me in this whirl,

That anytime anyone mentions him

I get like a little school girl.

 

I know we can’t be together

For another 3 more years,

And knowing that

Really does bring me to tears.

 

How is it that

Soul mates are forced to be apart,

But I guess none of that matters

When it comes to the heart.

 

The next 3 years

Will be the true test,

And as much as I don’t see it now

This is all for the best.

 

This is a hard time

And right now things are gray,

I know I can get through this

And see the brighter day.

 

It’ll take some time

From my wounds to heal,

But as I sit here

I’m wondering how do I deal?

 

I’ve been through a circle of emotions

That even I, myself can’t explain,

And maybe if I opened up more

Others would know my pain.

 

I should swallow my pride

And let people see,

Exactly what

It’s like to be me.

[Guest Memphis]

I'm sure you only wrote that for therapudic reasons however, reading that I get the feeling your holding a lot back.

 

My opinion only.

 

M

[Guest Cancer Marney]

Godawful. Utterly irredeemable dreck.

 

On the plus side, that's the first time in my life I've ever seen "clusterfuck" in a poem, even though it is clumsy, plodding, mawkish doggerel. But still, please stick to prose.

[Guest Memphis]

^ Just stated the intended secret meaning of my first post.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Stolen those lyrics and now it's coming to a radio near you. And a 1 and a 2...

[Guest JudasSault]

are you a goth?

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

No, it's mostly how I have felt this past week since my boyfriend went back home.

[Guest Memphis]

How old are you, TSA? Just curious.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

I'm 21

[Guest Memphis]

Dang, so it is reletively serious, with your boyfriend?

 

I had a feeling you were 14 and ready to end it all because you discovered the infectious bliss that is rejection.

[Guest SP-1]

Not a bad attempt for what I gather is something you don't do extremely often. Theraputic poetry is rarely a masterful thing, so don't worry about those who would show up to say that you're a terrible writer or soemthing. If it works for you then that's all that matters.

 

You kept your rhyme scheme for the most part, and you appear to have expressed yourself as well as can be expected within the confines of a rhyme scheme. I liked it.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Dang, so it is reletively serious, with your boyfriend?

 

I had a feeling you were 14 and ready to end it all because you discovered the infectious bliss that is rejection.

We are very serious. We've been together for 2 years and of course doing long distance. I'm sure he's reading this too. Until he finishes school we will stay apart, and then he will move or I will move. I can assure you this isn't some high school fly by night crush.

 

Thanks SpiderPoet....I can accept all sorts of critizism, good or bad. I just felt like seeing what people thought of it. It doesn't really bother me if some say it sucks, mainly because it is a good way for me to express how I feel and it lets me get everything out. It has helped, not as much as I would like, but it has.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Yeah, that was pretty bad, and about 30 stanzas too long for a simple love poem, also, the meter didn't change at all, which started making my eyes go tick-tock back and forth like a metronome.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

This wasn't a love poem, it was a feeling of confusion and wondering what to do.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

All of my thoughts

Are on my love,

He’s as sweet as a puppy

And as gentle as a dove

 

Maybe it’s love

That has me in this whirl,

That anytime anyone mentions him

I get like a little school girl.

 

I want nothing more

Than to be with him,

But neither one of us can leave

Especially on a whim.

 

 

Well, you fooled me, anyway.

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

A few of the lines deal with it, but it's far from a love poem. I have written those as well.

[Guest Vitamin X]

That's nice, but is it really necessary to post?

 

I'm sorry love-related things makes me sick because I'm bitter.