Worst day of my life?

[Guest Mik at Cornell]

I try and stay away from General Chat and topics like this because I hate to say personal things on a message board, but hell this is a special situation.

 

My friends have a band and they have been getting really popular around here, but I no longer live around here. So last night was the first time I got to see them, as I'm town for the weekend visiting my parents. Came home trashed at around 2:30 this morning.

 

7:30 this morning, all I hear is my mother yelling "Michael!" at me to get out of bed. I go downstairs and her boyfriend of 18 years (almost my entire life, I'm 21) is laying obviously dead on the floor, and my mother is a nervous wreck. The cabinet in my middle room downstairs is just destroyed, as he must have fallen into it. He was face down against the couch, he must have had a heart attack and tried to get back to the couch. The worst part was that I had to roll him over because the 911 man told me that he may still be alive and to see if I could adminster CPR. I knew there was no way, but for my mother I just tried. His entire face was blue. Now the absolute worst part was when I rolled him over, he sort of spit something up and made a noise, giving my mom hope that he might still be alive. The coroner came eventually and said he had been dead over an hour, so it was just one of those weird after death muscle twitches that can occur. Needless to say that today has been a wreck. He was only 49, and my mom will turn 52 in September.

 

Now, to be honest, he was a quiet man and as he wasn't my father, we weren't truly close. But I respected him for what he was. And I will miss him, but I'm most of all concerned for my mother. She never learned how to drive, and she counted on him to take her everywhere (and me when I'm home). My aunts and family already said they would teach her how to drive, which is necessary. As I said earlier, I no longer live at home. I will be a senior at Cornell next year, which is about two hours away from where I live (Northeast PA). I am living in Allentown PA this summer teaching science to kids. I know that my mother is going to be lonely. This is just making me feel terrible. My life plan was to go to grad school in California, as I plan on getting my PhD in Biochemistry. I was looking seriously at Berkeley and Cal-Davis which is in the Sacramento area. Now, how can I possibly leave my mother here all by herself. Granted, we have family, etc in the area, but I am the youngest child and her baby. I'm so torn what to do...stay home. I almost feel as though I should, but then again I don't want to compromise my future, as I really feel I have unlimited potential and I've been blessed by the Lord with an exceptional brain and I don't want to waste it. I really, really don't know what to do...

 

Sorry I rambled a lot, and I know none of you on this board, but hell this is one of those things that I just needed to type out to make myself feel better. It doesn't help when my girlfriend is 1000 miles away doing her summer internship in Florida until July 16th.

 

Maybe someone else can post something horrible going on in their lives and we can turn this into one big pity party? Or maybe not.

 

I guess I've learned one thing and I always thought it was a cliche, but live for the moment cause you never know.

 

And tomorrow is another day...

[Guest Texas Small Arms 09]

Man, my condolences to you and your mom Mik. It's really one of those hard choices and it'll be one that you'll have to make. How long before you have to decide and how long are you home for now? I would play everything by ear now and see what happens down the road. Have her help you in your decision and together you both will come up with something that will work. Just take a few deep breathes and maybe get some sleep. I wish there was something more that can be done at this point.

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

Damn. When I started reading this I thought you were going to get grounded for coming home late or someting equally lame. I can't imagine how I would handle such a situation.

 

Go for your education...

[Guest Memphis]

I admire your courage and determination to accomplish your goals. Despite how you're feeling, you're seeting a very hard example to set.

 

My thoughts are with you.

 

M

[Adam 0]

We are all with you. We may not know you by face or name, but you post here so you are a friend. You will make the right choice, and we will respect you whatever choice that is.

 

I admire you, you have been through alot.

 

Take Care man,

Adam W.

[Guest Addy]

Take Care man,

Adam W.

Hey, my names Adam W.

 

Condolences to you and your Mom. Go for your education dude. As guilty as you may feel (which you shouldn't), I'm sure your Mom would want the best for you.

[Guest Mik at Cornell]

Thanks guys... It means a lot.

[Guest Flyboy]

My heart goes out to you and your mom, Mik. I hope everything turns out well. But, in my opinion, you have to get your education. You never know, you get a doctoriate or something and be able to buy your mother a house.

[Guest HBK16]

Sorry to hear that man. I havent lost anyone really close to me in my life but I know lots of people who have and even though I dont know the full effect I feel for you. I hope things get better soon.

[Guest DARRYLXWF]

My heart goes out to you. I can't tell from sitting infront of my computer, but you seem to be handling it pretty well, and trust me, that's a BIG accomplishment to be proud of.

 

Good Luck.

[Guest hardyz1]

I second what Addy said. Your mom has family around, and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to compromise your future. Good parents always put their children first.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Do not leave school. I did, (albeit under different circumstances), and now I work third shift in a warehouse shipping cigarettes, pickles, and tampons, among other things.

 

It's possible to always go back, of course, because I am, but believe me, it's a MAJOR pain in the ass.