Crimson Losing Matches

[Guest Evolution]

Fade in from commercials.

 

Axis: "King, we've had kind of a short card tonight, but I hope our fans at home are snug in their seats for this main event, because it's going to be a doozy!"

King: "..A doozy? Axis, can you hear me all the way back in the fifties?"

Axis: "You know what I mean. Six men will enter, and two men will become dual #1 contenders for the SJL Title that was vacated by the Maori Badass Va'aiga earlier in the show. Two men will be going to Metal with gold in their eyes, but which two will it be?"

 

Cut to Funyon, who is standing in the middle of the ring, ready to announce the many men who will be fighting in this main event.

 

Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is the MAIN EVENT--"

 

The crowd immediately begins to cheer for this match, having been psyched ever since the announcement of it.

 

Funyon: "and it is a six-way elimination match to determine dual contenders to the SJL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!"

 

The crowd's cheers continue until the "Soviet National Anthem" begins, a red pyro exploding on the stage. "The Red Rage" Viktor Tarakanov makes his entrance, walking down the ramp coolly as the Russian Red Army choir continues.

 

Funyon: "Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and eighty pounds, from Astrakahn, Russia, VIKTOR TARAAAAAAAKAAAAAANOV!"

 

A chant of "U S A, U S A, U S A!" begins, slightly upsetting the big Russian. Viktor sneers at the crowd as he walks up the ring steps, wiping his feet on the apron and then stepping into the ring. The chants and boos continue as Viktor checks the tightness of his wrist tape and prepares for his other opponents.

 

Suddenly, the lights go out in Quahog as a graveyard bell rings ominously over everyone in the Sports Arena.

 

"Are you scared?"

 

...

 

"He's here..."

 

Motorhead's "The Game" blares out from the loudspeakers, a lightning flash illuminating Aecas on the stage as the crowd pops for his entrance.

 

Funyon: "Introducing next, from Shrewsbury, England, weighing in at two hundred and ninety-five pounds, he is THE BLACK ANGEL...AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECAS!"

 

Thick smoke fills the air and carpets the ramp as Aecas makes his way down to the ring, going through the ropes as the lights slowly come up, Aecas having a huge grin on his face. Aecas and Viktor exchange glares, having some history between them, but whatever thoughts are running through their heads, they are interrupted by "Revolution Revolucion" by Ill Nino, the crowd beginning to boo and multicolored lights flashing around the arena.

 

Funyon: "Up next, weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, from Hollywood, California, HOLLYWOOD SPIKE JENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKINGS!"

 

The self-proclaimed "King of the World" makes his entrance, walking down the ramp and ignoring the fans, as usual. Spike walks up the steps and into the ring, avoiding Aecas and Viktor altogether, posing in the ring and removing his leather jacket, before going to an empty corner.

 

The crowd's boos continue and even escalate as "Sinner" by Drowning Pool plays.

 

Funyon: "Next, weighing in at two hundred and sixty-five pounds, from Champaign, Illinois, THE SINNER JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

 

Duran begins his walk down the entrance ramp towards the ring, walking right down the middle of the ramp. John simply stretches his arms out, middle fingers extended on both hands, giving the finger to both sides of the aisle, a move not making him any more popular with the fans. A camera shot reveals an angry monkey with sharp teeth clenched, pointing at Duran in an evil manner. John gets up onto the apron and enters the ring, circling around with a middle finger in the air as he goes to the last remaining empty corner. "The Sinner" watches the SmarkTron and the entranceway, waiting.

 

King: "Quahog is showing John Duran absolutely, positively no respect!"

Axis: "I don't blame them after he WALKED RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAMP FLIPPING EVERYONE IN THE AISLE OFF."

King: "What's your point? He was just making some personal space for himself, is all."

 

The lights go out in Quahog once again, red strobe lights flashing on and off in the arena and The Haunted's "Hate Song" blaring over the loudspeakers.

 

Funyon: "Now coming down to the ring, weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds from Denver, Colorado...MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANSON!"

 

Manson makes his way down the aisle, taking a different approach than Duran and just shrugging off boos from the crowd. Manson rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring, getting to his feet, and finding things crowded. Manson simply turns around, facing the Smarktron as the red strobe lights cease and the lights in the arena come back on. Manson does not keep his eyes off Spike Jenkins standing in the corner to the right of "The Machine", not trusting the "King of the World" as he takes his leather jacket off, tossing it to Nick Soapdish, the referee for this main event.

 

The lights dim in the arena and the fans immediately begin to cheer in anticipation for the final entrant into the six-way elimination match. The crowd then goes quiet, wondering what music they are about to hear.

 

"GONNA FLY NOW, FLYING HIGH NOW!"

 

The crowd immediately explodes with a huge pop as the theme from Rocky, "Gonna Fly Now," blasts through the loudspeakers.

 

Funyon: "The final combatant, weighing in at two hundred and ninety-nine pounds, from Kansas City, Missouri, he is the current SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPION...CHARLIE...GRAPPLER....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHEWS!"

 

Matthews comes down to the ring, lumbering down the ramp as the fans continue to cheer for him. Charlie steps up onto the apron and steps through the ropes, but John Duran suddenly attacks him! Nick Soapdish immediately calls for the bell, starting this match as the crowd roars its disapproval of the sneak attack.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Surprised by the action going on right next to him, Manson is distracted for a moment as Spike attacks him, dealing out right hands to the Colorado native.

 

Aecas and Viktor, the only two left, approach each other from their respective corners and lock up.

 

Axis: "The match has begun, and we're certainly not wasting any time with this match!"

King: "All 3 pairs of men have history together, so it certainly makes sense that they don't want to wait for this match to really get started."

 

Spike clotheslines Manson over the top rope, Manson falling to the mat as Spike steps through the ropes, stepping down to the ringside area to continue battling against "Hate Personified."

 

Axis: "Already, we're seeing the no-DQ and no-countout rule take effect here, as Spike and Manson want to continue their hardcore ways against each other, on the outside of the ring!"

 

With four people left in the ring, Duran whips Matthews into the ropes from the middle of the ring. Charlie rebounds off the ropes, lumbering towards Duran as "The Sinner" bends down to possibly give the "Grappler" a back body drop. However, Charlie sees this coming, stopping in his tracks and clubbing John in the back, sending him to the mat.

 

Aecas whips Viktor into the opposite ropes from which Matthews was whipped into. On the rebound, Aecas lifts up his big boot to smash in the face of "The Red Rage," but Tarakanov ducks this attempt, going behind Aecas and--as Aecas turns around--bashing him in the face with a back fist which sends "The Black Angel" into the ropes. Tarakanov holds his ribs in pain, but still manages to get the lateral press to try for the first pinfall in this match as Nick Soapdish swings around to make the count.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

King: "Only a one count for 'The Red Rage' there, unfortunately."

Axis: "You're pulling for him?"

King: "He's injured! I always pull for the underdog."

 

Duran gets to his feet quickly after being knocked down from the blow to the back, but Matthews is waiting for him, holding John by his hair. Charlie brings his knee up and nails Duran in the face, keeping "The Sinner" relatively close to the mat with a high knee.

 

Axis: "Good strategy here by Matthews keeping John on the mat, since that is where the 'Grappler' excels."

 

With Manson still getting to his feet after falling to the mat, Spike takes the opportunity to reach under the mat, taking a chair from under the ring. The fans cheer for impending violence as Spike goes over to Manson, who is on one knee, to try to bring him to his feet. However, Manson doesn't play along, bringing his left arm up into the crotch of the "King of the World." The low blow doubles Spike over to a mixed reaction from the crowd as Spike drops the chair once clutched in his hand.

 

After the failed pin attempt, Viktor begins to bring "The Black Angel" to his feet. Attempting to keep control of the offense, Tarakanov clubs Aecas in the face with right hands, sending Aecas reeling to a corner. Viktor backs away a little, but only enough to get leverage on the top rope and lift his big boot up, placing it on Aecas' throat and beginning to choke him out. The crowd is attempting to follow the action as closely as possible, and boos when they see this action occurring. Viktor seems to be in pain though, and can't hold the boot choke for long due to his bad ribs.

 

Axis: "King, I really don't like Viktor's chances in this match, his ribs are too much of a factor!"

King: "He's a tough Russian, I'm sure they don't bother him that much!"

 

Instead of waiting for Duran to get to his feet, Matthews bring "The Sinner" to his feet, dragging him up by his black hair. Charlie bends down and attempts to put John in a standing fireman carry, managing to get upright with Duran on his shoulders, but John slides off the back of the "Grappler," turning Matthews around and beginning to club Charlie with right hands. Matthews blocks a third right hand, however, attempting to throw the Champaign native into the ropes, but Duran reverses it, throwing Charlie into the ropes instead. On the way back, Duran charges towards Matthews, and the both get the same idea of trying to hit a clothesline. Neither man is able to dodge in time, as they both hit themselves with clotheslines, knocking each other out.

 

Manson grabs the chair from off the floor, repositioning it before putting Spike in a front face lock, hooking both of his arms under Spike's arms. Jenkins' face is exposed as Manson leaps up and then comes right back down, sending the face of "Hollywood" into the chair. Jenkins' face smacks off the chair with a clang as the mixed reaction for "The Machine" continues.

 

King: "THRILL KILL ON THE CHAIR! BEAUTIFUL!"

Axis: "Spike might want to go back to get some surgery in Hollywood after that one!"

 

Viktor tends to his still sore ribs as Aecas quickly recovers from the boot choking, blasting out of the corner and grabbing Viktor's head, putting it on his shoulder and running out a bit before falling down to the mat, slamming Tarakanov's head on his shoulder with a wicked Diamond Cutter which gets the crowd jumping with excitement. Aecas moves his body back a little bit, getting in a seated position to the right of Viktor's body. "The Black Angel" moves Viktor's hands out to his sides, grabbing the left arm with the left hand and the right arm with the right hand.

 

Axis: "Wings of Fire! Aecas is going to lock on the Wings of Fire!"

King: "No, Viktor's too powerful, he can't keep it on!"

 

Aecas leans back, placing his legs around the arms of Viktor, in a move somewhat resembling a Full Nelson with the legs, and begins to pull back, Viktor immediately finding himself in pain. Aecas locks the Wings of Fire on, grabbing Viktor's arms and pulling back.

 

Axis: "King, can you imagine the pressure this move is putting on Viktor right now! Does Tarakanov have the drive, can he power out of this move?"

King: "He can, he can!"

 

However, Aecas has just enough strength to hold Viktor in the hold, despite the many attempts of "The Red Rage" to break the hold. Soapdish is in Viktor's face, asking him if he wants to quit, but Tarakanov is responding every time with an emphatic "No!"

 

Manson notices the submission in the ring and immediately slides in the ring behind Aecas, positioning himself and then nailing Aecas in the head with a vicious kick that immediately releases the hold and sends Aecas down to the mat after the THUNK of boot hitting skull.

 

Axis: "What the hell?"

King: "Manson has come to save the day!"

 

Not quite. Manson calls for the end and places Viktor in an inverted facelock.

 

Axis: "No, he hasn't, he just wants the glory for himself, King!"

King: "Can you blame him? Look at this, this is a big stage in Manson's career, he not only wants to be in the final two, he wants to WIN! I just wish he'd take out Aecas instead of Viktor."

 

Manson puts the abdominal stretch on, locking in the--

 

King: "Stretch Plum! Stretch Plum! It's over!"

 

Soapdish leans in, asking if Viktor gives up. Tarakanov is unresponsive at first, and then yells out "YES!" as Soapdish gets to his feet and calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Funyon: "Viktor Tarakanov has been eliminated!!!!!"

 

Duran gets to his feet as "The Red Rage" rolls out of the ring, going over to Matthews and bringing him to his feet as well. Aecas gets to his feet, shaking out the cobwebs in his head. Matthews fights Duran off with a couple of right hands, including one that sends Duran staggering right in the direction of "The Black Angel." Aecas takes advantage of this, getting to his feet and clocking Duran with a right hand of his own, as John is caught in a game of ping-pong between Aecas and the "Grappler." The crowd roars their approval as Duran is knocked back and forth a couple of times between the two big men.

 

King: "Poor Duran, somebody help that poor man!"

 

Manson is taking a little timeout, but Spike slides into the ring with a chair, unbeknownst to "The Machine," and bashes it into Manson's back. Manson goes down to the mat as the clank of the chair shot rings through the arena, all the way up to the skybox where Quahog Mayor Adam West sits.

 

Both Aecas and Charlie meet Duran in the middle finally, grabbing both of John's arms and whipping him into the ropes. Aecas and Matthews join arms and charge at Duran, nailing him with a double clothesline to the delight of the crowd as "The Sinner" goes down. Aecas and Charlie break arms, and "The Black Angel" promptly turns right around and clotheslines the "Grappler" to the mat. The fans find themselves confused with what just transpired, some even beginning to boo.

 

Axis: "What just happened there, King?"

King: "Greed happened, Axis, all of these five remaining men want that shot at the title, and they'll do it through any means necessary. Matthews had that one coming to him, though, that's what he gets for turning his back on James Matheson!"

 

Spike brings Manson up, leaving "The Machine" on both knees for a moment and pondering what to do with him next, apparently making his decision as he delivers two stiff kicks to the chest of "Hate Personified." Jenkins steps back a bit, bringing his right leg up...

 

SMACK!

 

The leg connects against the side of Manson's head, the crowd moaning in shock as Manson hits the mat like a sack of potatoes.

 

King: "KNOCK OUT KICK! NIGHTY NIGHT MANSON!"

Axis: "What a kick from Jenkins! The absolute raw emotion that is being released in this match is absolutely mind-blowing!"

 

Thinking he could have this match won, Spike immediately goes for the cover as Soapdish swings around to watch Manson's shoulders.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEENOOOOOOOOO!

 

Manson gets his shoulder up just before Soapdish's hand can hit the mat for the count of three.

 

Axis: "I'm worried about Manson, King, despite the fact he just kicked out. It's still relatively early in this match, and Manson is just being jostled around. I don't know how much more punishment this man can take!"

 

Aecas, finding himself without very much competition, goes over to Manson and begins to stomp at him with big boots, the crowd beginning to cheer again for "The Black Angel." Spike notices this and tries to initiate some conversation with Aecas.

 

King: "What are they doing?"

Axis: "They might be formulating some kind of game plan against Manson!"

 

While they talk, however, the other three competitors in this match are rising to their feet. "Grappler" and John are the first two to their feet. Matthews tries to go after Aecas to get revenge for that cheap shot of a clothesline, but Duran comes up from behind Charlie and nails him with a forearm shot that sends the almost 300-pound man down to the mat with the force of the move. Duran gets too close to the proceedings between Spike and Aecas, however, and Spike reacts suddenly with a superkick.

 

King: "LAST DANCE! LAST DANCE!"

 

Duran hits the mat quickly and, not the least bit startled, Spike continues to plea with Aecas for a little double-team action. Manson is inching towards the chair that is very close to him on the ground, as neither Spike nor Aecas realize what is going on. Manson grabs the chair and suddenly rises to his feet. Spike realizes it before Aecas does and gets the hell out of Dodge. Aecas turns around and immediately figures out what all the commotion is about.

 

CLANK!

 

The chair connects with Aecas' head, and the crowd moans to see a huge dent in the chair, but not a huge dent in the stance of "The Black Angel." Aecas gives a wicked smile to "Hate Personified," beckoning Manson to bring it on.

 

CLANK!

 

The chair nails Aecas in his skull once again, but Aecas once again does not go down.

 

Axis: "Good lord, how many more headshots can Aecas take?"

 

Manson winds up with the intentions of taking another crack at Aecas' cranium, but out of the corner of his eye, he notices Spike coming at him. Spike attempts another Last Dance, but this time Manson dodges it, winding up the chair and this time swinging it at Spike.

 

CLUNK!

 

The chair hits nothing but Spike, and the crowd moans as Spike falls to the mat.

 

Axis: "Stop this, Manson! Stop this now!"

King: "It's all legal, baby, this is great!"

 

Manson turns to Aecas again, who seems a little dazed now, jamming the chair into the gut of the almost 7 foot tall man, doubling Aecas over...

 

CLANK!

 

The chair once again connects with the back of the neck and the back of Aecas, finally sending him down to the mat as some of the crowd boo. Some members of the crowd appreciate the hardcore work by Manson, and applaud him. Manson tosses the chair to the side and turns his attention towards Spike, still out from his singular chair shot.

 

Matthews rises to his feet and finds Duran out on the mat, facing the lights. Taking advantage of this situation, Charlie moves over Duran, picking him up to his feet. John immediately finds himself inside the arms of Charlie, as Matthews lifts "The Sinner" up in a bearhug! The crowd explodes in cheers as Duran immediately finds himself getting his back crushed by the huge arms of the "Grappler." Soapdish tends to Duran, asking him if he quits, but there's no way that Duran will quit, as he shakes his head.

 

Manson brings Spike to his feet, immediately putting him in a front facelock. However, the crowd goes nuts as Aecas suddenly begins to get back to his feet. Manson notices this, dropping Spike and going over to Aecas to try to keep him down on the mat. Manson delivers clubbing blows to the back of Aecas, but Aecas simply snaps up, extending his right hand and clenching it around the throat of "The Machine." The fans continue to cheer as Aecas gets upright, lifting Manson up in the air and turning slightly before dropping "Hate Personified" on his back, crashing to the mat on the bad side of a chokeslam from the "Black Angel."

 

Soapdish continues to check on Duran, but John is too dedicated to winning this match to give up this easily. Matthews tries to change that, clenching the bearhug on tighter as Duran yells out in pain, the fans cheering and chanting "YOU GOTTA TAP! YOU GOTTA TAP! YOU GOTTA TAP!"

 

Spike is beginning to get to his feet, recovering slowly from the chair shot, but Aecas wraps Jenkins up in a front facelock, pulling on Spike's khakis and lifting him up. Aecas then straddles "Hollywood" on the top turnbuckle, as Spike is likely still unsure of what is going on. The fans begin to rise to their feet as Aecas climbs up to the turnbuckle, putting Spike in a front facelock once again and bringing him up to the top turnbuckle with him.

 

Axis: "Oh, this cannot be good..."

King: "Yes it can! Yes it can!"

 

Manson, rising to his feet and with revenge in his eyes, goes over to the counter where Aecas is setting up his next move, and gets in between Aecas' legs, wrapping his arms around Aecas' legs.

 

Axis: "Oh no, what is Manson going to do?"

King: "This is going to be great!"

 

Aecas tosses Spike's near arm over his shoulder before realizing that Manson has a hold of him. Aecas tries to shake Manson off, but Manson has already begun to fall forward, Aecas losing his balance on the top turnbuckle and beginning to fall, taking the "King of the World" with him.

 

BOOM!

 

The impact seems to register on the Richter scale from the sheer force of it, as Aecas and Jenkins come crashing down to the mat fast and hard. The crowd explodes from the mere sight of Manson nailing a powerbomb on Aecas to complete the trifecta of bodies, now seemingly making a small human wall diagonally across the ring. A chant cues up almost immediately, drowning out any thought process possible in the Quahog Sports Arena.

 

HOLY CRAP!

HOLY CRAP!

HOLY CRAP!

 

The chant continues as Soapdish notices this, looking down at the bodies seemingly having just failed to form a human tower, checking on all three of them, but taking his eyes off Duran and Matthews. While this happens, Duran suddenly can't take anymore and begins to tap on the shoulder of the "Grappler." The crowd notices this and begins to boo.

 

Axis: "He's tapping, ref! Turn around! Turn around!"

 

Matthews tries to get the ref's attention, but as Matthews is distracted, he loosens the grip of the bearhug, allowing Duran some room to breathe. Suddenly getting a second wind of some sorts, John begins crashing forearms into the face of Matthews, the surprise of the shots alone enough for the "Grappler" to break the bearhug as the crowd groans. Soapdish turns around, but all he sees is that the bearhug from Matthews has been broken.

 

King: "What a dumbass ref! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Axis: "Matthews had Duran eliminated, he tapped right before our eyes, King, before everyone in the crowd and at home watching on television!"

King: "But it doesn't matter! Isn't life great!?"

 

Manson is up to his feet first, obviously, as he received little to no damage from the train wreck that he created. Duran calls him over, however, to do a little double-teaming on Matthews, who is still dazed from the forearms he took while in the bearhug. Manson agrees, going over to "The Sinner" and immediately beginning to trade off right hands to the current European champion. Once they both get in about five right hands, they both grab an arm of Matthews, slinging him towards the ropes and running towards Matthews. On the rebound, all three men collide, and Charlie goes down, victim to a double running shoulderblock from Manson and Duran, much to the dislike of the crowd. Duran is all smiles and goes to congratulate Manson on a job well done, but Manson answers with a clothesline that sends Duran staggering over the top rope and to the outside.

 

King: "NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MANSON!"

 

Manson--who has just shocked the crowd before making them begin to moderately cheer--yells down to Duran who is outside on the floor.

 

Manson: "THAT'S FOR COSTING ME MY WORLD TITLE SHOT, (BEEP)!"

Axis: "Of course, the dual #1 contenders match against Va'aiga and Tim Dillon! Manson might be holding the title right now in his opinion!"

King: "Still, there's a 300 pound man in that ring right now! Manson could certainly use all the help that he can get!"

 

Manson walks over to where Aecas is lying, despite now moving on the mat after that wicked superplex/powerbomb combo. Manson slowly brings Aecas to his feet, barely able to do so due to the sheer size of "The Black Angel." Aecas suddenly comes alive, attempting to perform a chokeslam again on Manson, but Manson knocks Aecas' hand away and kicks him in the gut, going behind Aecas as he doubles over slightly. Locking his arms around his waist, Manson immediately tries to lift the big man off the ground.

 

Axis: "Call me crazy, King, but I don't think that Manson is going to be able to lift the big man Aecas off the ground!"

 

Manson cannot see Spike rising to his feet behind Aecas' massive body, nor can he see Spike running up and pushing Aecas. Aecas once again finds himself falling backwards, and Manson cannot break the hold he has on the waist of Aecas in time as they both fall backwards to the mat. Out of desperation, Manson bridges out in what seems to be an accidental German suplex. The crowd moans in surprise as Aecas lands on his head, and Manson does as well. Nick Soapdish swings around, counting the pinfall for Manson.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!

 

The crowd can't believe it, as Aecas manages to break out of the German suplex a millisecond too late.

 

King: "Holy crap! Manson did it!"

Axis: "You mean Spike did it!"

King: "They both did it!"

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Funyon: "Aecas has been eli-""

 

Funyon is cut off from finishing his announcement as Soapdish yells at him about something. The crowd goes quiet for a moment, as if they will be able to hear what the ref is yelling at the ring announcer, a feat that is not easy to accomplish in the Quahog Sports Arena. Soapdish finishes whatever message he has to Funyon, and Funyon resumes his announcement.

 

Funyon: "Aecas AND Manson have both been eliminated!"

 

King: "WHAT?!?"

 

Manson has a look of disbelief on his face as well, as Spike suddenly bursts out in laughter, celebrating and mocking Manson at the same time. Manson goes to attack Spike, but Soapdish holds him back.

 

Axis: "King, let's take another look at this."

 

An instant replay box in the bottom right hand corner is revealed.

 

King: "Aecas gets pushed over here, and..."

 

The side view is shown, and it is revealed that as both men hit the mat and Manson bridges, both pairs of shoulders on the mat.

 

King: "Well I'll be damned! They're both gone! A double pin!"

Axis: "More importantly, King, with a simple German suplex we have narrowed the field of contenders down to three! After this next elimination, we will know who will be going to Metal to fight for the SJL Title!"

 

Spike's celebration is short-lived, as he realizes before Matthews that John Duran is getting to his feet, and he's grabbing something from under the ring: Another chair.

 

Axis: "Uh-oh..."

 

Spike goes to the outside of the ring as Duran rises to the feet with the chair in his hand. John winds up and tries to crack the chair over Spike's already fragile skull, but Jenkins kicks "The Sinner" in the gut before the chair can connect, stealing the chair from Duran's grasp and doubling him over. Once John gets upright, "Hollywood" tosses the chair in Duran's face, possibly trying for the I Just Broke Your Nose. Duran tosses the chair right back towards Spike, and Spike involuntarily grabs it. That's a mistake, as John punches the chair right in Jenkins' face, making a loud CLANK sound as Spike falls backwards from the force of the blow.

 

Axis: "I don't care who you are, you don't punch a chair like that and not have it hurt."

King: "Unless you are taking painkillers...and who isn't these days?"

Axis: "Good point."

 

With Spike out on the floor, Duran walks over to the chair and picks it up, daring the "Grappler" to come fight him. John taunts Charlie a bit, as he reaches under the ring, pulling out a table and setting it up on the outside. Duran then points at the table, continuing to taunt the "Grappler," telling him that the European Champion will be going through this table.

 

Axis: "We might want to move, King, I don't know what's going to go down here...Whoa, what's this?"

 

Axis picks up a gun that has been placed on the announcing table.

 

Axis: "Someone must've dropped this!"

 

A kid's voice is heard behind Axis.

 

???: "BLAST! Evil man, return that gun to my possession!"

Axis: "Aww, isn't that cute, King?"

King: "...You do realize there is a match going on in the ring, right?"

Axis: "Here you go, buddy."

???: "Thank you! In addition, the name's Stewie. Remember it for when I conquer the world. For your kindness...your death will be quick and painless!"

 

Finally, after seemingly stalling for what felt like minutes, Duran finally slides into the ring. Matthews allows John some breathing room, and the two have a staredown. The members of the crowd rise to their feet, sensing something brewing between the two wrestlers in the ring as Spike tries to recover from getting a face full of steel chair. Matthews throws the first punch after the almost-eternal staredown, a right hand that connects with the face of Duran and sends him reeling slightly, not moving him off his planted feet, however. "The Sinner" comes right back with a left hand, and the gloves come off, so to speak.

 

Axis: "This is it, King! These two are going to fight until only one is left, I can feel it!"

 

Both men continue to trade punches, as we see that Spike is now up on all fours, recovering slowly but surely. The fans are put on a rollercoaster ride as both the "Grappler" and John connect with punch after punch. Finally, Duran breaks the cycle of punching with a knee to the gut before grabbing Matthews and sending him into the ropes near the announce table, where Spike is now up on one knee. John stands in the middle of the ring as Charlie rebounds off the ropes, and then suddenly attempting to hit a mind-blowing clothesline, but Duran whiffs with the attempt as Matthews goes into the opposite ropes. Jenkins is feeling good now, and hops up on the apron, still a little dazed. Charlie dodges another clothesline attempt, going into the ropes again...and sending Jenkins off the apron.

 

CRACK!

 

The crowd explodes in surprise as Spike flies off the apron and crashes through the table set up by Duran, breaking the table in two and then some, damn near shattering the table like a pane of glass as Jenkins' momentum sends him into the front of the announcing table. Matthews stops and suddenly realizes what he's done to Jenkins, yelling to his former tag team partner if everything is alright. John simply watches Charlie with hungry eyes, waiting with anticipation to bring Matthews down. Jenkins doesn't seem to be responding to Matthews' questions, so Charlie gives up and turns around...right into a boot to his midsection. John puts the "Grappler" in a standing headscissors, signaling for the end.

 

King: "He's crazy."

Axis: "You beat me to it, there's no way that he can lift up Matthews and hit him with the Ultimate Sin. Lifting him up, maybe, but the Ultimate Sin...my god."

 

Duran leans down, wrapping his arms around the waist of the European Champion. Suddenly, John lifts once and gets nothing. The 2nd time he lifts ht gets Charlie in the air, some members of the crowd gasping as Duran puts Charlie in a crucifix position. Just as the crowd begins to question whether or not Duran can hold on to Matthews for much longer, Duran moves him up slightly and falls down, hitting him with the Ultimate Sin to a big response, going for the pinfall by covering the shoulders of the "Grappler" with his feet and Nick Soapdish swinging around to count the pinfall.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Funyon: "Charlie Matthews has been EEEEEELIMINATED!"

 

Axis: "We have our two contenders for the SJL World Title! Spike Jenkins and John Duran, one on one at Metal!"

 

Duran slumps up against a corner, worn out, Spike still out on the outside with shards of table surrounding him, the only remaining combatants left in the match.

 

Axis: "Both of these men are worn out, but they know what's at stake, they know this match isn't over yet."

King: "That's right, because the winner gets an important advantage. Either Spike Jenkins or John Duran will be able to stack the deck in their favor when Metal rolls around and these two are fighting one on one for the JL World Heavyweight Championship."

 

Duran gets to his feet, using the ropes to help him up as he walks over to the ropes nearest the announce table and steps through them, going to the floor and walking over to his Metal opponent, Spike Jenkins, still out from that wicked fall. The crowd is still buzzing as John brings Spike to his feet and then tosses him in the ring. Duran rolls into the ring after Jenkins and then puts Spike in a lateral press, hooking the leg as the crowd seems to have a sense of them not wanting this match to be over with, wanting Spike to kick out as Soapdish spins around and falls to the mat to count the pinfall.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO! SPIKE KICKS OUT!

 

The crowd actually cheers as Spike kicks out, getting a shoulder up. Duran has a frustrated look on his face as he grabs Spike by his dirty blonde hair, bringing him to his feet. Duran grabs Jenkins's arm and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, "The Sinner" bends down as if to go for a powerslam of some kind, but Spike gives Duran a surprise by coming across and nailing John in the face with a wicked kick. The crowd cheers for Jenkins as Duran goes down to the mat.

 

Axis: "Spike might be mounting a comeback against Duran right here! We thought he was down and out!"

King: "Who, Spike Lee?"

Axis: "...Spike Jenkins."

King: "Oh, that clown, right."

 

This time, it is Spike who brings Duran to his feet by Duran's jet black hair, looking around the ring to see what he could possibly do next, deciding to whip Duran into the ropes himself. As John comes back to meet Jenkins, Spike leaps up, wrapping his legs around the head of Duran and then twisting around, sending Duran's body sliding across the ring with a hurricanrana. With Duran down on the mat, Spike runs up to the ropes nearest Duran, leaping up and springboarding off the middle rope, performing an Asai moonsault in the ring and hitting it on Duran to a big pop from the crowd, the crowd seeming to get behind "Hollywood" at this stage in the match against "The Sinner." The crowd expects Spike to go for the cover, and Spike himself things about hooking the leg right there and going for the cover, but he sits up and shakes his head no, and then rolls out to the ring and tells Funyon to move.

 

Axis: "Is this a smart move, King? I'm thinking he should've just gone for the pinfall right then and there!"

King: "If he's going to do what I think he's going to do, he can go for the pinfall after this move and wrap this match up right now."

 

Funyon moves out of the chair that Spike wants, allowing Jenkins to fold it up. Spike tosses the chair into the ring, narrowly missing Duran as some of the crowd either laugh or gasp in shock, the chair clanking to the mat. Spike slides into the ring, going over to the chair and grasping it in his clutch as Duran begins to get to his feet. The crowd is cheering and on their feet as John finally stands upright, dazed. Spike tosses the chair at his face, and Duran suddenly snaps to life, grabbing the chair before it hits him in the face. That's a mistake, as Spike leaps up, spinning around and kicking the chair in Duran's face to a big pop from the crowd. The chair goes flying out of Duran's face after nailing him, sliding onto the mat, but "The Sinner" goes down hard to the mat, "Hollywood" NOW sensing victory within his clutches. Spike quickly goes for the cover, hooking the leg as tightly as he can, trying to hold Duran down in the pin as Nick Soapdish swings around once again to count the pinfall, the crowd counting along.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE-----NO! KICKOUT! KICKOUT BY DURAN!

 

The crowd moans, disappointed as the match continues, still with no clear winner in sight. Spike is beginning to show signs of frustrations and amazement at how Duran managed to kick out of the I Just Broke Your Nose.

 

King: "Spike can't keep this match going for much longer, he's going to need to wrap it up right now, he needs to hit the Highlighter and get the pin right now."

Axis: "Can Spike even lift Duran up for the Highlighter?"

King: "Well, if he can't, then he better think of some way to finish Duran off, because I know right now, in John's mind, he knows how he's going to finish Spike off."

 

Spike goes to a corner, waiting for Duran to get to his feet, which doesn't take long, Spike crouching down, signaling to the crowd that he's going to go for the Last Dance. Duran gets to his feet, with his back to Spike, and then turns around to face "Hollywood." Jenkins shuffles his feet towards Duran and then lifts up his leg to meet Duran's face.

 

SMACK!

 

John's face is nailed by Spike's boot, as the crowd cheers once again, Duran falling to the mat as a victim of a Last Dance. Spike then goes to a corner, climbing up to the top turnbuckle, balancing himself, judging how long he will have to fly to hit the downed Duran with whatever he is thinking of hitting. Finally, satisfied, Spike leaps off the top rope, flying off the top rope, tilting slightly to the left to try and hit Duran's body...but no one is home to receive The Ratings Grabber. Jenkins nails the mat face first, and the crowd moans in shock and awe as Spike is out on the mat. Duran slowly gets up onto all fours, turning his head to the right and seeming to find some kind of silent rejoice in the fact that he has avoided The Ratings Grabber. Duran then rolls outside of the ring.

 

Axis: "Is Duran going to look for more goodies under the ring?"

King: "It sure looks like it, Axis, and there's no telling what can come from under that ring, I know I've reached under there a time or two and have been surprised at what I found!"

 

What Duran finds isn't anything odd or bizarre, it's simply a table. The crowd cheers at the mere sight of the table, foreshadowing that the table will likely end up broken no matter who goes through it. John slides the table into the ring and then rolls into the ring after the table, keeping his eye on Spike as he picks up the table and moves to the nearest corner, setting the table up in the corner carefully. Turning his attention back to Spike, Duran takes this time to grab the dirty blonde hair of "Hollywood" and bring Jenkins to his feet. However, Spike does not comply, bringing his arm up into the crotch of Duran and doubling him over with a low blow. The crowd erupts in cheers as Spike somehow manages to find himself with more fight left after being thrown around the ring for such a long time. Spike stands upright, going into the ropes and bouncing off of them, bending down and grabbing Duran's neck, wrapping his arms around it and swinging it around, hitting the running swinging neckbreaker, otherwise known as Spike's Phantom Neckbreaker. After this move, Jenkins kips up to his feet to a great reaction from the crowd, calling for the Highlighter.

 

Axis: "Here we go..."

King: "Watching these two go at it in the ring, I just can't help but feel nervous. It's times like these I'm glad I'm not in the ring anymore."

 

As Spike goes to bring Duran to his feet for the Highlighter, Duran seems to pull something from his tights. Some members of the crowd notice it too, and start to boo, but Spike doesn't notice Duran sliding the brass knuckles over the knuckles of his right hand until it is too late. John slams his right hand into Spike's face, knocking Jenkins right out and dropping him like a bad habit as "Hollywood" goes down to the mat. The crowd is very vocal in their booing of Duran, but John just shakes it off as he picks Spike up, practically carrying him over and laying him down where the table is set up in the corner.

 

Axis: "I'm not sure what Duran is planning here, but I really, really don't like it."

 

Duran goes to the opposite corner, crouching down, and it suddenly becomes clear to all what he's about to do. "The Sinner" charges out of the corner and drives his shoulder into Spike's gut, sending Spike and himself through the table and into the corner, as the crowd explodes in a mix of boos and gasps of shock.

 

HOLY CRAP!

HOLY CRAP!

HOLY CRAP!

 

King: "HE JUST SPEARED HIM THROUGH THE TABLE!"

Axis: "SPIKE IS DEAD!"

 

Spike seems to be even more in Dreamland after that spear through the table, but Duran seems almost halfway fine, getting right back to his feet and calling for the end. Duran leans into the turnbuckle to grab Spike, who almost seemed to be compacted in between the middle and bottom turnbuckles, before turning him around. Duran bends down and lifts Jenkins in some sort of inverted Fireman's carry or a torture rack, and it suddenly becomes clear what he's going to do. Sure enough, John swings Spike's body off his right shoulder, swinging it around to his left side as Duran drops down to the mat, damn near snapping Spike's neck on his left shoulder as Spike falls to the mat, out cold.

 

Axis: "Blunt Force Trauma~~~~~!"

 

"The Sinner" wastes no time and goes for the cover, not even bothering to hook the leg as Soapdish falls down to count the pinfall.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

"Sinner" by Drowning Pool begins immediately as Soapdish raises the hand of John Duran in the air.

 

Funyon: "Here is your winner, JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

 

King: "Duran wins!"

Axis: "He'll be calling the shots in the match where he faces Spike Jenkins for the SJL Title! This is the chance that Duran has been working towards through these past few months, and it is now within his grasp!"

 

Spike is still out in the middle of the ring, and Nick Soapdish goes to check on him now as Duran leaves through the ropes, extending his middle fingers out towards the crowd with a big smile on his face, walking up the ramp backwards, almost running his entrance into the Quahog Sports Arena in reverse.

 

Axis: "That's all the time we have for tonight folks, we have to go, but come back for Metal on Tuesday! John Duran, Spike Jenkins, SJL Title, what gimmick will Duran choose? It's all up for grabs on Metal! Goodnight everybody!"

 

Fade out on Duran's smiling face and outstretched arms to the SJL logo.

 

Smartmarks Junior League -- 2003