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WWE Confidential May 31, 2003

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Guest TSMAdmin

WWE Confidential May 31, 2003


Once again I would like to thank everyone who read and responded to my Raw is Owen review.


One Year Ago

- The career of Davey Boy Smith, who had passed away a couple of weeks earlier. 1/1

- Before They Were Superstars: Spike Dudley (First Installment). 2/2

- Hulk Hogan’s #1 Fan & Fans impersonating wrestlers. 2/3

- The “Final Chapter” of Shawn Michaels. 3/4

- Davey Boy Smith’s last few years. 4/5

- The Sexiest Male Superstar. 4.5/6


You can find the entire review HERE.


This Week on Confidential: Vince McMahon explains why he hates Hulk Hogan. Piper vs. Goldust from WrestleMania XII will be featured this week. Plus John Cena tours Belfast, Ireland and Chris Nowinski returns to Harvard.


Cover Story


Supposedly this segment will cover Vince’s steroid trial. Vince McMahon first met Hulk Hogan back during the Capital Wrestling days. Hogan was going by Sterling Golden, which was a horrible name, so Vince Sr. changed it to Hogan. Being Irish, Sr. would always take the opportunity to give his wrestlers Irish names. During his first run up North, Hogan was pushed as a heel due to his size. Once Vince stole him from Gagne, it was decided that Hogan had the charisma to be a babyface, even though he didn’t look like one. Gagne had been doing the Hulkamania gimmick, but Vince was weary it would work on a national scale. This is why Hulkamania was born after Hogan already was over HUGE and won the WWF Title. Thus the new champion also had a new gimmick. Vince concedes that Hogan thought of Hulkamania, but without McMahon it never would have “ran wild”. So the question is, do you credit the inventor or the financier? Vince isn’t sure, but he does believe that he deserves at least as much credit as Hogan does. So they are even using the ol’ bait and switch on Confidential now…


Segment 1: 0/1


Christopher Nowinski was invited by the Harvard Club to be a part of their “Conversations With…” event. Pretty much he goes to a dinner and meets a bunch of other Harvard graduates. For the first time in a long time Chris had to speak in full sentences. Chris’ goal going in was to get the Harvard snobs to respect professional wrestling as an occupation that someone with a Harvard degree could attain. For the most part they were all nice to him except for one chick who “expected him to be a total shmuck”. Pretty odd segment, which in a way made it slightly interesting to watch.


Segment 2: .5/2


Outside the Ropes: Tommy Dreamer


Look at that, it’s the segment that never ends. Why are they still pestering me with this crap?


1. Do you remember eating cookies off the bottom of your shoe on the night of the Kurt Angle Milk Truck Incident and how did they taste?


Yes he does. He also ate cookies off of Rhyno and Chuck Palumbo’s shoes. They tasted like soggy, stepped on cookies. They obviously didn’t add this segment in order to up the intellect on Confidential.


2. How would you fare on Fear Factor? Is there anything you wouldn’t eat?


He would eat anything. The only problem would be the physical challenges.


3. Being a native New Yorker, what is your take on raising the subway fares?


He only drives. Raising the tolls would kill him though.


4. How did you get the name “Dreamer”?


Always dreamed of being a professional wrestler.


5. If you were not a WWE Superstar, what would you be?


In prison.


6. Where would you be? What would you be?


Someone’s bitch in prison. Seriously, he doesn’t know. Maybe a male dancer.


7. Did you watch American Idol and do you think it was rigged?


He watched American Idol and was pulling for Rueben. Definitely fake.


8. What is the last concert you went to?


Van Halen 1984.


9. Who is your hero?


Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and Dusty Rhodes.


10. What place that you haven’t already been to would you like to visit and why?


Alaska, so he would have wrestled in every state.


11. What is your secret talent?


The ability to fall from high places without getting hurt. I think he stole that one from Mick Foley.


Segment 3: .5/3


This next segment already ran on November 9, 2002.


JR, Trish, Terri, Lita and Stacy all did a photo shoot for JR’s upcoming cookbook. Trish, “We are just Divas standing around JR barbecuing. We do that a lot.” JR was noticeably uncomfortable during the photo shoot. He himself admits to not being photogenic, so he cracks some jokes like, “I’m not wearing anything under this apron” and “It’s supposed to be a hands-on photo shoot. So far no one has let me put my hands on anything…except the tongs”. OK, that last one was funny. JR seems to be regressing back to his September 1996 state. The book consists of recipes from his grandmother, mother and wife. There are also stories about Owen Hart, Junkyard Dog, and Andre the Giant thrown in there. Lita, “Maybe it will be like an extended version of the Ross Report.” I know that could be turned into a Ross Report fat joke, but I’m too lazy to think of one. The overall sarcasm salvaged this segment.


Segment 4: 1/4


From the Vault: Terri


Why not ask an actual wrestler to pick a match? She especially likes the end of this one when we get a peak at the lingerie she and Goldust picked out.


Hollywood Backlot Brawl: Goldust w/Marlena vs. Roddy Piper ~ WrestleMania XII CLIP


This was your classic Homophobe vs. Male Stalker feud. The match starts outside where Piper beats the shit out of Dustin’s gold Cadillac. Piper continues the assault until Goldust catches him with a low blow. Goldust hops in his car, hits Piper and drives off. Piper not phased by being run over follows in pursuit.


The OJ Simpson footage is not shown. Good call Vince.


Back at the arena, Piper chases Goldust into the ring. Goldust goes to work on Piper’s artificial knee. Roddy blocks the first kiss attempt. Goldust connects with the next one. Piper crotches Goldust on top. He proceeds to spank Goldust, strip him off his bodysuit and lay one on him. Goldust is revealed to be wearing a BDSM getup. He rolls out of the ring as Marlena covers him up and they run into the sunset. (10:48) For all intents and purposes, this may have been the first bra and panties match as it ended once Goldust was stripped. Also, what was with Piper “getting all into” Goldust at the end there? Whatever. Although this match is horrifically bad, it is entertaining. Plus it is strange to see Piper looking halfway decent without a shirt.


Segment 5: 2/5


John Cena tours Belfast with Fit Finlay serving as his guide. They walk around a castle for a while until being kicked out. The government doesn’t allow filming of the ancient buildings or something. Afterwards, Fit offers John a Guinness, but he turns it down for a glass of chocolate milk. John Cena is a very funny guy, so this wasn’t bad.


Gene hypes the Rock’s appearance on the Highlight Reel this week.


Segment 6: 2.5/6




Bad show this week. Nothing really good, not to mention the swerve in the McMahon segment. Don’t promise people things that you aren’t planning on following through with. No preview for next week, so that might mean a RERUN~~!!.


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