PROMO: The Other Half

[Guest ShooterJay]

We open in the pitch black night, in an area of New York- the red light district. A United Nations of prostitutes swarm the streets. Girls who couldn't be more than 15 or 16 in 60's-era hot pants are negotiating with scumbags in nondescript Chevy station wagons. The camera then pans to someone who quite obviously does not fit in with the rest of the scenery. A strikingly handsome man, golden blond hair parted to the side, with almost porcelain-doll like features, clad in a monogram golf shirt, khaki pants, and wing-tip shoes. The man, Michael Lockwood, speaks.

 

LOCKWOOD:

Don't they know that they're making love to what's already dead? That's from Le Mis. My father loved the theater.

 

The man behind the lens speaks.

 

CAMERAMAN:

Sir? I'm not all that comfortable being here. I mean, it's not very safe.

 

Lockwood smirks.

 

LOCKWOOD:

Don't worry Niles, you will be well compensated for your time here. How does an extra fifty cents per hour sound?

 

CAMERAMAN:

Very well sir.

 

As the two continue walking, we pass even seedier areas of the city, we see drug dealers conducting business by music clubs, with signs like HEAVY MEDICAL NIGHT. LIVE APPEARANCES BY KATHETER AND COLOZTOMY. The music sounds like someone has jammed a live rat into a blender, as teens with split tongues and more piercings than the Hellraiser bob their heads lifelessly.

 

LOCKWOOD:

My father also enjoyed walking these streets. He'd get tipped off by old FBI buddies to where child pornographers or street gangs hung out-places where no local glorified meter maid would ever dare tread, and he'd administer his own personal brand of justice. Made him feel like he was doing some good for the other half, the 'less fortunate.' Ha. There's no such thing as "fortune." People make their choices. These dregs have no one to blame but themselves.

(Turns to the camera.) So why am I here? I also like walking these streets, not for my father's 'altruistic' reasons-more fuel for his G-d complex- but simply because I enjoy observing bottom-feeders flail about uselessly, searching for a pathetic scrap of food or temporary high to continue their doomed existences for another day. Having them stare in awe at me, a living reminder of what they can never be. That's why I enjoy wrestling, watching all of those welfare moms, trailer park families, pimply fifteen year olds who couldn't get someone to touch their underdeveloped members with a hundred dollar bills hanging out of their zippers, turn absolutely green with envy at the sight of perfection.

 

A large African-American man, built quite literally like a brick shithouse- most likely a former football player- but with the deranged bloodshot eyes of a crackhead, approaches Lockwood.

 

LOCKWOOD:

Boys and girls, can we say "cokehead?"

 

MAN:

Get out of my way before I kick yo' ass. Turns to the cameraman Both yo' ass.

 

LOCKWOOD:

Not ass. Asses. Plural.

 

MAN:

Gonna fuck you up big time.

 

LOCKWOOD:

You continue cursing, and I will have to silence your filthy mouth.

 

The man charges. Lockwood sidesteps and delivers a lightning-fast kick to the xyphoid process. The man drops, clutching his chest. With surgical precision, Lockwood then snaps off a side kick to the man's lower leg. There is a cracking sound, like stomping on a dry twig. The man's guttural screams pierce the air.

 

LOCKWOOD:

There are two hundred and six bones in the human body-that was the right tibia. Sir, don't hope to survive, pray for pity.

 

CAMERAMAN:

Don't you mean mercy sir?

 

LOCKWOOD:

I prefer pity Niles. Now be a dear and fade out the camera. Black balance. Now then, next I move to the femur, the largest bone in the human body...

 

At this point, the picture fades to black, although we can still hear the screaming. Finally, a gurgling noise is heard, and the camera apparently shuts off.

Edited June 26, 2003 by ShooterJay

[Guest Crowe]

I like this guy. A very nice promo to start, and it really gives me a feeling for your character. The small fight at the end of your promo is very precise, and I love, LOVE the fact you had Lockwood follow up with an intelligent line, detailing the human body and what part he hit. Stylish, very stylish.

 

I look forward to reading more of your work, yo.

[Guest DawnBTVS]

Whoo! Bringing the solid, great work Shooter *gives thumbs up* Very cool promo, can't wait to see what else the character does.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Shooter... we went over this... you are supposed to say "I perfer PITY Niles"

 

At least...I think that is what you are going for. Still...I'm the only one that would have caught that in this group.

 

But damn...if you keep those RPs up I'm gonna get SO 0WNED

[Guest ShooterJay]

It was supposed to be pity Rando, I must have slipped. Fixed it now.

[Guest Crowe]

Still...I'm the only one that would have caught that in this group.

Nope. I noticed it, but any smart person would read over it and realise what he meant to say. So eh, I didn't bother nitpicking, I save that for Janus' work... goddamn him and his fucking long sentences.

[Guest Goose749]

Very interesting character. The end kind of reminds me of JTHM.

Sir, don't hope to survive, pray for pity.

 

Good stuff

[janusd 0]

So eh, I didn't bother nitpicking, I save that for Janus' work... goddamn him and his fucking long sentences.

Hey!

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

no...you see... me and Jay did a little brainstorming about catchphrases and I came up with "don't hope to survive...pray for pity"

 

...I just love stroking my own ego...

[Guest SupaTaft]

I really liked this promo, I cant wait to see what kind of matches this character wrestles. If he wrestles with the same arrogant style that he used in this promo, I will be a happy man.

 

Kudos.

 

-Taft

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

So your dad is Batman and you're the son he had with Ra's Al Ghul's daughter?

 

The character is very interesting and unique, like a cross between Chris Nowinksi and robo-Shamrock. Good overall concept for the promo and some nice character telling lines. Sweet work here.

[Guest ShawnTybalt]

It's a good thing Crash had the wherewithal to join the S. J. L. under his real name before WWE fired him....

 

But I never thought being unceremoniously dumped would be that bad...

 

Either way, spiffy promo.