SJL WRATHAPALOOZA II

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

THE SMARKS JUNIOR LEAGUE PROUDLY PRESENTS

 

SJL WRATHAPALOOZA II

 

Venue: The Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Due Date: July 13, 2003 @ 9 PM EST - NO EXTENSIONS

Send Promos & Marked Matches To: Thoth

 

SJL TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP

LADDER MATCH

English Dragon © vs. Todd Royal

Description: We're kicking off this year's spectacular with a bang, opening the show with a title match. English Dragon finally cashed in his title shot on Metal and emerged victorious, become a 2-time champion. Todd Royal earned a shot a couple shows ago, so let's see who emerges on top.

Rules: Countout and disqualification rules are not in effect. The belt is suspended in the air high over the ring, and can only be accessed by ladders. Fortunately there are plenty nearby. First to grab the belt wins it.

Word Limit: 4500

Marker: Powerplay

 

PROMO - Commissioner Chris Raynor

Description: Tonight's Master of Ceremonies, new SJL Commissioner Chris Raynor, has a few words for the Minneapolis crowd, so we'll see what he has to say!

 

NO GRAVITY MATCH

Kid Cools vs. "Shining Black" Tokyo X

Description: This match stipulation has worked a few times in the past. Rookie Tokyo X will take on the debuting Kid Cools in a battle of top rope supremacy!

Rules: Countout and disqualification rules are not in effect. The first competitor to successfully perform five top rope moves is the winner.

Word Limit: 4000

Marker: Tod deKindes

 

#1 CONTENDERSHIP - SJL TELEVISION TITLE

TRAMPOLINE CAGE MATCH

Shawn Tybalt vs. Dominic Korgath

Description: Tybalt lost the belt to English Dragon and is itching for a rematch. Korgath formed an unholy alliance with Scott Solomon. Both are worthy competitors, but only one will be the next challenger! Shades of SlamBall here in this unusual stipulation.

Rules: Disqualification rules are not in effect. A large trampoline will be placed in the center of the ring, filling up most of the ring space. A cage will also be lowered around the ring. The cage has no door. The only way to win is by escaping the cage over the top.

Word Limit: 4000

Marker: kelloggs

 

PROMO - Craig McLennan

Description: Craig McLennan is no longer "Carless" after winning the six-man battle royal on Metal. McLennan will arrive at the Metrodome for a special ceremony where he will be presented with a brand new 2004 Buick Rendezvous! Commissioner Raynor's footing the bill for this special prize!

 

THE JOUST

Jimmy "The Demon" Liston vs. Viktor Tarakanov

Description: Tarakanov has a World title shot coming up but he can't cash it in just yet. I'm sure most of you have seen American Gladiators at least once. Due to a massive fan write-in campaign, the SJL has been convinced to bring back one of the old American Gladiators events.

Rules: The competitors are suspended eight feet in the air (above a protective mat) atop circular platforms. Both carry large padded jousting sticks (think extra-large Q-tips). This is the only legal method of contact. Knock your opponent off his platform to win the fall. Step onto your opponent's platform and you are disqualified. Since this has potential to be really short, we're going to make this two out of three falls.

Word Limit: 4000

Marker: Kibagami

 

MALL BRAWL

Danny Conklin vs. Bloodshed vs. Tim Dillon vs. Michael D. Lockwood vs. Cutthroat

Description: The Mall Brawl returns! But not just any Mall. Since this is Minneapolis, this match will take place in the country's largest mall, the Mall of America! And we're throwing in Cutthroat as a special bonus attraction!! (Such as he is.)

Rules: Disqualification rules are not in effect. The Mall of America is a five-story mall. The first four stories are shopping areas with occasional restaurants, while the fifth is primarily bars and restaurants. The floors are set up as a winding oval that surrounds a large open area, home to a Peanuts (as in Charlie Brown & Snoopy) theme park. Yes, an entire indoor theme park, complete with roller coasters and other assorted rides. There is a balloon hidden somewhere in the mall with a gold ticket inside. The winner is the one who pops the balloon and gets the ticket.

Word Limit: 5000

Marker: WrestlingDeacon

 

INTERMISSION - WET T-SHIRT CONTEST

Axis vs. Suicide King

Description: Uhhhh... this one was specially requested. That's all I've got to say.

Rules: I'm not even going to touch this one.

Word Limit: 1500

Marker: Ash Ketchum

 

MCGRIDDLE ON A POLE MATCH

"Canadian Thunder" Chris Trepanier vs. "The Extreme Solution" Johnathan Clarke

Description: Based on a great idea I heard in chat tonight, these two will do battle for the tastiest breakfast sandwich invented in recent history - a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle!

Rules: Countouts and disqualifications are not in effect. A McGriddle is suspended from a pole on one of the turnbuckles. First to grab the McGriddle wins the match (and the McGriddle).

Word Limit: 4500

Marker: Dace59

 

SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP

EMPTY GUND MATCH

Leo Breslin © vs. Scott Solomon

Description: All titles are on the line here at Wrathapalooza! Leo Breslin defends his via satellite from the home of the SJL, the Gund Arena! Except there's nobody there. Hmmm.

Rules: Countouts and disqualifications are not in effect. This match begins in the ring at the deserted Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. Falls count anywhere.

Word Limit: 5500

Marker: Ace309

 

SPECIAL CHALLENGE MATCH

The Boston Strangler vs. Ian

Description: SWF Superstar Boston Strangler has issued a special challenge to... my 3 year old son, Ian! Ian will make his SJL wrestling debut! Fear him!

Rules: Countouts and disqualifications ARE in effect. Standard singles match. Ian's stats will be posted sometime Wednesday, on this thread.

Word Limit: 1500

Marker: Longdogger_Pete

 

BARBED WIRE ROPES MATCH

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. John Duran

Special Guest Referee: Mike Van Siclen

Description: These two have a long history of brutality here in the SJL. They'll showcase such brutality in this big matchup.

Rules: Countouts and disqualifications are not in effect. The ring ropes have been replaced for this match with barbed wire. Victory is achieved by pinfall.

Word Limit: 5500

Marker: realitycheck

 

SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

STADIUM STREET FIGHT

Charlie "Grappler" Matthews © (w/Crow) vs. Aecas (w/Va'aiga)

Description: Aecas earned a World title shot which led to this big main event! The ring will be removed for this match, and these two will resolve their differences in a street fight. Find whatever weapons you want. In a baseball stadium, that shouldn't be too hard. Oh yeah... did I mention that each competitor will have a former SJL champion in his corner? Throw the Antichrist Superstar and the Maori Badass into the mix and we've got a truly brutal matchup.

Rules: Countout and disqualification rules are not in effect. The ring will be removed; the match begins on the baseball field. Crow and Va'aiga are free to interfere but cannot factor into the decision (they can't pin or be pinned). Falls count anywhere.

Word Limit: 6500

Marker: Thoth

Edited July 9, 2003 by Longdogger_Pete

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

And if you saw it really early, note minor marker changes and rules fix for the Mall Brawl.

[Guest Suicide King]

what the hell?

[Guest Dace59]

Marking Power.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Me and Duran have a brutal history? Say what...?

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Spike, I didn't mean you and Duran together. I meant you and Duran separately have had histories of brutality - meaning, causing brutality, you know?

 

Uh, anyway.

 

More marker tweaks on the card - everybody look again.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

To Kid Cools and Tokyo X:

 

If you have any questions whatsoever regarding the No Gravity match, direct them to ME.

[janusd 0]

Mall Brawl with a word limit? Pity, they're more fun when you don't have to worry about that and can just concoct insanity.

 

Hey, it worked for me.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Mall Brawl with a word limit? Pity, they're more fun when you don't have to worry about that and can just concoct insanity.

 

Hey, it worked for me.

You know, if none of the competitors would mind, I also support the no word limits deal... I mean, it at LEAST needs something higher than 5K.

[Guest The Superstar]

HOLY

 

 

SHIT

 

 

 

 

...and you used McGriddle on a Pole! You rule!

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

I get to mark the mall brawl? What did I do to deserve that? And where is the Memphis Eel for commentary?

 

And as marker of said brawl, I'm not staying up until all hours of the night marking ten trillion words. So the word limit is fine by me. If you want no word limit, let TNT mark it.

 

To Tod: Ten trillion dollars says your match is a double no show.

[janusd 0]

I get to mark the mall brawl? What did I do to deserve that? And where is the Memphis Eel for commentary?

 

And as marker of said brawl, I'm not staying up until all hours of the night marking ten trillion words. So the word limit is fine by me. If you want no word limit, let TNT mark it.

 

To Tod: Ten trillion dollars says your match is a double no show.

 

Oooo! If the word limit's removed, I'll take Frosty's place!

[Guest hhh6294]

...uh yeah...

 

as much as I would love to write... my shit-tastic hard drive needs to be replaced, and it will take longer than i expected to get it here... I am connected at a realitive's computer, and I know for a fact that I can't show... so take me off, leave me in, do whatever you must, but just know that I will not have a match in for this show, and I will need at least one more show off to get my god damn computer ready to write with. (buying word and everything... fucking microsoft)

[Guest Mr. Slim Citrus]

If the NG match is a double no-show, somebody holler at me; I'll come up with something.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

First to grab the McGriddle wins the match (and the McGriddle).

 

I burst out laughing at that. Possibly the greatest match ever booked.

 

Has anyone actually tried a McGriddle? It's a fucking PANCAKE SANDWICH. WITH SYRUP IN THE BREAD. BAKED INTO THE BREAD. THE PANCAKEY BREAD. It's quite possibly the grossest thing I've tasted since that night Flesher, TNT and myself took Amy Craven to the Cleveland Motor Inn. I think the real winner here is the loser.

[Guest The Superstar]

OMG! You did NOT just say that! McGriddle on a Pole was MY creation to satisfy the most griddle-caked feud in history, Flesher vs. Grappler. We appreciate the sausage, egg, and cheese goodness wrapped in succulent, juicy griddle cakes laced with delectable syrup. And uh, we would fight over them.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

word limit or not...

 

 

This Mall Brawl will be MOTYC

[Guest kelloggs]

err... good card

 

All three boards are mine!!!!!!1!1

 

+1

[Guest The Superstar]

word limit or not...

 

 

This Mall Brawl will be MOTYC

I believe that position is already filled

 

Spoiler (Highlight to Read):

*cough* Edwin vs. Raynor *cough*

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

i said CANDIDATE...

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

You can have more than one match of the year candidate. It's a candidate, it's in the running. This is not the Republic of Grappler, it is a democracy, where a handful of guys are in charge that we can't vote out.

[Guest The Superstar]

I said.....

 

 

 

um...

 

 

 

 

 

Heyyyy, is that El Luchadore Magnifico handing out tacos?

 

*runs*

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

The Republic of Grappler enjoys Edwin/Raynor.

 

This almost makes up for the McGriddle, CharlieStar. ALMOST.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

And now, I present to you the statistics of Ian.

 

Name: Ian

Age: 3 (4 on July 24th)

Height: really small

Weight: even smaller

Disposition: Tweener

Escort: None

Tag Partner: None

Stable: None

Preferred Weapon: A good stiff pillow

Entrance: "Flirting With Disaster" by Molly Hatchet

 

Strength: 2

Speed: 4

Vitality: 7

Charisma: 7

 

MOVELIST

 

Finisher type moves:

 

Five-star frog splash

Rock bottom

 

Signature moves:

 

Missile dropkick

Rolling thunder

Tazzmission

Anklelock

People's elbow

 

Common moves:

 

Clothesline

Dropkick

Knee drop

Elbow drop

Chops

High kicks

 

Yes... believe it or not, he knows how to do all of these.

 

Any questions?

[Guest Tod deKindes]

If the NG match will be a double no-show as predicted, I would appreciate being notified through PM.

 

'Child; as the only participants in the only NG match in WF history, we should be the ones cooking up something, should the two not show.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

word limit or not...

 

 

This Mall Brawl will be MOTYC

I believe that position is already filled

 

Spoiler (Highlight to Read):

*cough* Edwin vs. Raynor *cough*

It's also worth noting that the SWF MOTY and SJL MOTY are decided seperately. Hell, the SWF has a PPV MOTY and a Free TV MOTY, for Christ's sake.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

I like how Ian comes out to Flirting with Diaster by Molly Hatchet. The tike's got good taste in music.

 

And this year we're going to have the Memphis Eel Worst Match of the Year award too. I'm sure Wrathapalooza can produce a few candidates for that as well.

[Guest Thoth]

Your kid is 3 and he knows the Tazzmission, WTF?

[Guest ToddRoyal]

High kicks

To what? The kneecap?

 

Rock bottom

Oughta be interesting to see how he applies that one.

 

This should be quite the interesting match...

[Guest crusen86]

I would like to second King's what the hell.