English Football

[Anorak 0]

Newcastle is tomorrow isn't it?

[TheFranchise 0]

You'd think the Newcastle fan would have known.

[Guest jpclemmons]

Newcastle is tomorrow isn't it?

Too bad it will not be shown on my side of the world.

[deancoles 0]

Newcastle is tomorrow isn't it?

Too bad it will not be shown on my side of the world.

What matches do you get to see? I'm guessing that you get some of the big premiership games, Internationals involving USA, World Cups and Major League Soccer.

 

BTW does anyone know if its SKY or ITV who have the rights to the Champions League Final? I hope it's SKY as I like the way they hype the matches and the commentary is far better.

[The Decemberists 0]

Both, I think.

 

Sky definatly are as I've just seen an advert for it Sky Sports News.

[Guest Museite]

It will be on both...

 

USA get most football I think. ESPN have Champions League Football. But the time difference makes things feel weird. When I was on exchange in 2001 in Philadelphia I got home from school at 3pm and Manchester Utd vs Bayern Munich was on Live. It just felt WRONG

[TheFranchise 0]

Manchester Utd vs Bayern Munich was on Live. It just felt WRONG

Yeah, i can't imagine the cliffhanger at the end.. at 4pm was so grand ;p

[Guest Museite]

Not the final, that was 1999 methinks, this was just a group match I think as it was October, but even so, it still felt crap.

[caboose 0]

You'd think the Newcastle fan would have known.

Yeah my bad. This week has been a bit blurry.

 

Well last night sucked. Without Jenas, Dyer, Woodgate and Bellamy it was always going to be tough. (Excuses out of the way). But fair play to Marseille they were good. That turn by Drogba deserved to win the match on its own.

 

I guss it's all about 4th place now...

[TheFranchise 0]

What a goal though, his first.

 

Typical French, a FIRE in the ground.

[Vanhalen 0]

You'd think the Newcastle fan would have known.

Yeah my bad. This week has been a bit blurry.

 

Well last night sucked. Without Jenas, Dyer, Woodgate and Bellamy it was always going to be tough. (Excuses out of the way). But fair play to Marseille they were good. That turn by Drogba deserved to win the match on its own.

 

I guss it's all about 4th place now...

Well, you've still got to beat us for the first time in 36 years in the league at home to qualify first.

[deancoles 0]

I'm leaving for the game soon, I'll be praying for Sheffield Wednesday to do us a favor and take a point or 3 off of QPR but I hope that Blackpool are thinking about their summer holidays and give us an easy game today.

[TheFranchise 0]

Well, no more football for Derby until August.

 

Game over at Wimbledon, as they go down fighting, and Junior starts a game for the first time in 10 months.

[caboose 0]

I can't believe Shearer just missed a penalty!

[TheFranchise 0]

He is getting on.

 

...Would still sign him.

[deancoles 0]

We're on Sky on Saturday at 6PM, Hartlepool were unbeaten at home until we went there so I'm pretty confident of us getting to the final.I'm pretty optimistic but Brighton do worry me though as Leon knight has scored as many goals as our 2 strikers put together.

[Mystery Eskimo 0]

A good win for Forest to end the season. 14th place is a great achievement by Big Joe. West Brom aren't going to do any better than last time they were in the Prem.

[deancoles 0]

I wonder what odds Forest are to go up next year? if they can keep David Johnson fit then they should at least make the Play offs.

[Guest hunger4unger]

I'm a bit gutted we (Sunderland) got Palace in the play offs - I think they could well turn us over in both games. On a sidenote, I got the matchday programme from yesterdays game vs Burnley signed by Kevin Ball. Me happy

[caboose 0]

When all the domestic games are finished, everyone should post a paragraph or so looking back on the season.

[Anorak 0]

Nice idea.

 

I'll try not to ramble on for 6 paragraphs.

[The Decemberists 0]

Forest Review part 1 (stolen from here

 

What a start - beating Sundrearyland on a blistering day with the Mackems frying like cod in the Bridgford end. Well, a bit of a false start, actually. We thought Stewart and Oyen and Gunner and Sonner did okay, but then, we were probably being stupid. Stress's inability to pronounce the word Sunderland has persisted to this day, so he tends to refer to them as the Blank Caps.

 

The responsibility of compiling the Carboot Cup matches was given to Balls the Dog. This was a mistake. After beating Poor Vale on penalties, Forest were hailed by the yellow dog as "The Team That Cannot Lose". This unforgiveable gormlessness led to Balls the Dog being shot. Or not, as the case may be.

 

A 3-0 defeat against Reading Ladies put things into perspective. Suddenly Forest weren't any good. The replacement players weren't any good. Things in general weren't any good. This not-any-goodness continued in a home defeat to Caerdydd, a team from Wales, for God's sake.

 

But then a thumping of Coventricity cheered everybody up. Reidy bubbled like excited snot, Mister Harty thanked Mister Stress for his advice and support, and Coventricity had a player called Whing, which was interesting. Then we beat Norridge with a wonder goal from Jonno. Remember that? Life was good then. People laughed, skies were blue, car bodywork was still unscraped, Jonno had two good legs...

 

Then the Undead came calling. We thumped them, but Jonno broke his leg. Okay, it was just an accident, but that doesn't mean we can't blame the Undead for it. The truth becomes a blurry commodity when that particular team and that particular manager are the subject at issue. What made things worse was the fact that Jonno had been pretty outspoken about the thinness of the squad, and suddenly the truth of his words hit home like a big wet sledgehammer.

 

You wouldn't have known it at Burnley, though. Burnley was a glorious illusion. Sorry to bore you, but we wrote this:

 

If you don't go to away matches, you should. If you missed the Tuesday night game against Burnley, you missed an absolute belter. You should have gone, you really should. Your life, you see, is now incomplete. When you die, and Saint Peter asks you to recall your greatest regret, you will sigh and say, "Missing that Tuesday night game against Burnley," and he will say, "Ah yes, that was an absolute belter. You should have gone, you really should."

Not that going to Burnley is easy. It is an odd place, full of people who find their way about by following the white lines down the middle of roads. The first person we saw when we arrived was a man having a conversation with a dog. It was all very unsettling. It always is.

Inside the ground, a gaggle of infantile cheerleaders tried desperately to galvanise what appeared to be a largely dead crowd. Bertie the Bee was introduced with much fanfare, but proceeded to spend the rest of the evening loitering around with his hands on his hips, looking puzzled. Floats like a butterdish, stings like a pea. Disappointment hangs in the Burnley air like thin fog.

But the match started and the fans sang. The Forest fans sang. Burnley started well, but the Forest fans sang. The largely dead crowd had an air of bemused vacancy. These are the Shy Moor Folk - the men who leave when the score gets above two because they only have two hands. Anyway, Forest suddenly scored. Taylor put Marlon through, and he smacked it home. It was embarrassingly simple. The Forest fans erupted in a frenzy of song and dance. The Shy Moor Folk looked like ten thousand people waiting for a train which they suspected would never arrive.

The first half got sort of becalmed after that. There was so little response from the opposition supporters that the Forest fans began singing amongst themselves. People started having conversations about the price of potatoes and how crap Chadwick was, and the Forest songs and chants began to overlap and combine in a strangely exhilarating but slightly surreal way. Just before half time, it was announced that there would be two minutes of added time, and that the added time would be sponsored by a local furniture company, and you just knew that this night was not to be like other nights.

After half time, Burnley had a real go. To be fair to them, they are not a bad side. They have some good players who combine well and they play neat and threatening football. They also seem to have done their homework, pressing Forest at a time when Forest are particularly vulnerable. But Forest's defence was magnificent, absolutely magnificent. Awesome and Thompson played with immense authority, the two full backs held firm, the midfield fulfilled its defensive duties with a fiery determination. Most people don't like it when Forest get pressed back, but in all honesty watching a defence like that at work is a privilege. Burnley tried and tried and it seemed inevitable that they would score, but while they appeared to be completely dominant, two things were happening that suggested a different outcome. First of all, the Forest fans wouldn't shut up. On and on they sang, louder and louder as the minutes ticked by and the Burnley attacks were repelled. Secondly, Burnley were committing too many men forward. Their defence sometimes consisted of two players. Sooner or later they would pay for that, especially with Marlon on the pitch.

You could sense that Burnley were just going off the boil. The defensive clearances which had previously been a bit desperate now started to find Forest players. The Forest songs became more insistent. Suddenly the match became a real ding-dong, end to end affair, a real thriller. It was as if the team had said, "Right, you've done your worst, now let's see what we can do." What we did, of course, was score twice. Both goals owed everything to Marlon, and his ability to chase down and win balls he had no right to win. Our second goal was breathtaking. Marlon broke down the right and lifted the ball across goal into Reidy's path, right in front of us. Reidy took it on his chest at full speed - surely he didn't have the room to control it like that. Of course he did - took it on his chest at full speed and slammed it into the back of the net. This was one of those moments you never forget. You're so close to the pitch you can see and hear everything - the ping of the ball as it leaves Marlon's boot, the absolute silence as it glides through the air, the way Reidy shapes his body to control the ball, the look of total concentration on his face, the sudden strike, that indescribable noise as the ball hits the netting, and then the most peculiar feeling of all - that split second of disbelief which all footballers and all football fans know, before the thunderous confirmation that it is indeed a goal, and it's okay to go absolutely bananas and scream in the face of absolute strangers, probably forever.

Then we just took them apart. To be honest, everything became a magic blur. Marlon continued to terrify defenders who continued to make the mistake of thinking he was mortal. May lost it completely and tried to kick Marlon off the park. Marlon broke away again and set up Taylor, who scored with great assurance. We could have had more, but three was enough. By the end, you just wanted the match to go on all night.

But then it ended, and the players trooped off in front of us. The chant of "Nottingham, Nottingham, Nottingham" was deafening. Marlon came off last. He looked absolutely knackered, but then a broad grin broke across his face, and he did a salaam to the fans. That's the kind of thing you miss, you see? That, and Wardy refusing to tell us what the score was, and Mister Harty waving to us, and the fans singing "Jonno, Jonno", and "You'll never beat Wes Morgan", and cheering and singing all the way out of the ground, and hearing some perplexed Burnley fan say to his mate, "Who's that big bugger they've got up front?" You missed all these things. But the thing you missed most was the Hand Ball Chorus, and if you want to know what it was, you'll have to ask someone who went.

 

You see? A glorious illusion. Next match, went to Crewe, got stuffed, came home. Crap ref, Williams was dire, and we lost three one in front of a crowd of cardboard cutouts. Then we could only manage a 1-1 draw against Denby, and we started making excuses:

 

1. One o'clock starts are horrible. If God had intended football matches to start at one o'clock, he wouldn't have invented three o'clock.

2. The sense of expectation was too great. Building up local denbies is always dangerous. Expecting Forest to destroy Denby like they did last season was always a vain hope. Forest were flying then, and Denby were falling to bits. Now Forest are stuttering, and Denby haven't lost in four games.

3. Denby are better than they were when they weren't as good as they are. Or at least they are tougher. Or at least they are dirtier. They seem to have picked up some of Warlock's vile little tricks - diving, time-wasting, intimidation. My respect for George Burley has taken a dip, to be sure. From now on I shall call him Burley.

4. Forest looked tired. There was very little creative spark or passion about them. Which is where a more general sense of unease creeps in. We're missing Johnson badly. Marlon lacks the consistency to do it all on his own week in week out. Taylor isn't going to score a lot of goals unless the team switches its style of play. Apart from Reidy, who continues to be very, very good and continues to score very, very good goals, the midfield isn't showing enough creative drive. Perhaps we're just stale because we're playing so many games so close together, but it's the same for other clubs.

5. Forest are playing like a flat tyre. Marlon King could liven us up, but he was conveniently "injured" on Saturday. But this is all "half-empty glass" stuff. Nine games in, and we're four points off the top. That's not so bad, is it? And nobody else in the division seems exactly fireproof at the moment.

 

Nine games in, and only four points off the top. It makes you want to cry, doesn't it? Then we missed some games, because Pieman was ill. The draining away of form became alarmingly evident during this period, and Pieman still insists that his absence was an important factor at this time. Others merely commented that he should get his innards sorted out, and shut up. Forest lost at home to Nob End, away at Stoke, and drew at home to Rotheringham.

 

Then a glorious dismantling of Wimbledown. Pieman was so elevated by the manner of the victory that he confidently predicted that Forest would beat Wet Hams so badly they would crawl into a nearby irrigation ditch and die. Stress wasn't so sure.

 

Stress was right. Forest drew 1-1 with Wet Hams, which wasn't too bad for an away fixture at Upton Park. Then a victory at Bradford's tomb-like Valley Parade put a smile back on our faces. If we'd known then what was about to happen, that smile would have turned to ice.

 

 

Sorry it's so long, but it's good stuff.

[TheFranchise 0]

Denby?

[The Decemberists 0]

The full alternative team names are -

 

Ipswich - IPSWIDGE

 

West Ham - WET HAMS

 

Millwall - MEWO

 

Palace - CRYSTAL PALEARSE

 

Derby - CRENBY DOUTY or DENBY

 

WBA - WEST BROMWICH ALBINOS

 

Sheff U - SHEFFIELD UNDEAD

 

Coventry - COVENTRICITY

 

Wimbledon - WIMBLEDOWN

 

Reading - READING LADIES

 

Wallsall - WALSALL CAR PARK

 

Cardiff - CAERDYDD

 

Sunderland - SUNDERLUNDERLAND or SUNDREARYLAND

 

Crewe - CREWE ALEXANDARIOGRADI

 

Rotherham - ROTHERINGHAM

 

Wigan - WIGGUM

 

Gillingham - GILLINGHAM ELSEWHERE

 

Preston - PRESTON NOB END

 

Don't ask me why, I just read, copy and paste

[TheFranchise 0]

lol@Wigan, what a funny team name!!

 

 

...What?

[The Decemberists 0]

 

Wiggum Athletic Football Club

[TheFranchise 0]

Derby have let Manel and Costa go.

 

I have NO idea why.

[The Decemberists 0]

Manel? Surprised you've let him go. I thought you didnt have choice with Costa? Wasn't he just on loan?

[TheFranchise 0]

Yeah, season long with the opportunity to buy.

 

Buy as you say, Manel IS a surprise.

 

He wont be needed next year though, first choice strikers are Peschisolido and Junior, and we have young Tudgay who has really come into form towards the end of the season, and Marco Reich, likewise.

[The Decemberists 0]

None of your forwards even compare to the immortal, legendary god-like goal scoring genius which is David Johnson though.

 

Apparantly we're about to buy Kennedy from Wolves for £600,000. Which is another confirmation that Reidy's going. I think he could be a decent buy though, and £600,000 isn't a *huge* amount to spend on a player really.