People That Should Write For the Site

[Guest Nevermortal]

Dames, do whatever you have to do....kill people, whatever, but you need to get GH & Joe to write for the Smart Marks. Those guys were the absolute funniest motherfuckers on the IWC, bar none. Fuck Scotsman, they were the real deal.

 

Revenge of the Smarks ruled it. Twice. With cheese.

[Guest Bruiser Chong]

There's enough posters on the board who write for the site already.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

GH and Joe?

 

I must not read the WWE folder enough.

[Guest Nevermortal]

There's enough posters on the board who write for the site already.

Oh no, they never posted here.

 

They used to write for a site called TheShooters.net (I believe that was the name. I think they also wrote for shootangle.com). They ruled it, with an iron fist.

[Guest T®ITEC]

GH & JOE~!

 

These two guys did the greatest RAW and Nitro recaps to date. They need to be tracked down, just so they can write for TSM. Seriously.

 

If anyone wants copies of their reports, I have most (if not all) of them on CD. Just PM me.

 

<-- pathetic GH & Joe mark.

[Guest Fook_Hing_Ho]

Never heard of them.

 

Post one of their recaps so we can see if we like them or not.

[Guest Retro Rob]

*shurgs*

 

I never read that site or heard of them.

[Guest Crucifixio Jones]

Man, that's sad when you've never heard of GH & Joe. Back before ECW got their deal on TNN, GH & Joe were the only reason I knew anything of them. Them riffing on Rhyno's profanity-laced promos was GOLD. And their Hall of Fame shit is classic. I'd be ALL FOR bringing GH & Joe to TSM. Those are the only two 'net "personalities" from the old days that I still think about on occassion and actually miss.

[The Dames 0]

Well...I just shot them an e-mail to see if they have archives up somewhere. I'm not going to just offer them a position without reading any of their material, but if CJ thinks it's all good...then it must be.

 

Dames

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I never really read anyone's recaps of anything until around mid-2001, if that's any consolation. All I did was use the internet for news and spoilers before that. I didn't even hear of The Shooters until late 2002.

[The Dames 0]

Just as I feared, their e-mail address is no longer working and what I sent bounced back to me. If anyone can find me their current e-mail, I'll be glad to contact them.

 

Dames

[Guest Bruiser Chong]

There's enough posters on the board who write for the site already.

Oh no, they never posted here.

 

They used to write for a site called TheShooters.net (I believe that was the name. I think they also wrote for shootangle.com). They ruled it, with an iron fist.

Bleh, my bad. I misread and for some reason just thought you were talking about a couple dudes in the WWE folder. My fault for breezing over the names.

[Guest Nevermortal]

There's enough posters on the board who write for the site already.

Oh no, they never posted here.

 

They used to write for a site called TheShooters.net (I believe that was the name. I think they also wrote for shootangle.com). They ruled it, with an iron fist.

Bleh, my bad. I misread and for some reason just thought you were talking about a couple dudes in the WWE folder. My fault for breezing over the names.

All is redeemed for having Mr. Big from the Art of Fighting in your signature. Even though he couldn't jump.

[Guest Crucifixio Jones]

I found this. Don't know if that'll be any help, but at least now I know I'm not the only one who fondly remembers this duo.

[The Dames 0]

I had already found that, CJ. Still no leads.

 

Dames

[Guest Kingpk]

"Joe" was Scott Christ, right?

 

I remember him from E-Gen Sports. Great site.

[Guest Retro Rob]

If "Joe" was Scott Christ, Christ has his own site going where he reviews the current WWE PPVs. I stumbled across the link somewhere (maybe the EWR board), but didn't bookmark it.

[Guest Kingpk]

Here you go.

 

His e-mail address is in the bio

[Guest Joe_G]

Joe isn't Scott Christ, that was just a joke on the wienerboard.

 

GH and Joe were Geoff "GH" Hansen and Indy Wrestler Joe "Shooter" Schultz. And yes, they were very funny.

[Guest J*ingus]

Wait wait wait, the same Shooter Schulse who was trained by Shawn Michaels and was a developmental guy for a while?!

[Guest Joe_G]

Wait wait wait, the same Shooter Schulse who was trained by Shawn Michaels and was a developmental guy for a while?!

 

I do not know. I got that info from a Wienerboard thread where someone inquired as to GH and Joe's whereabouts.

[Guest the pinjockey]

Did they do the "Revenge of the Smarts" thing that was on the Shooters or was that someone else on the site? I thought that was gold.

 

And they own Keith rants.

[Guest T®ITEC]

No, that was them. I think that I posted part 1 in the Gen. wrestling folder. I'll look for it.

[Guest DVD Spree]

If they're Sctosman's old run-in buddies, why not shoot him an email?

 

I'm on good terms with Scots if anyone wants me to do it.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

I have some of their Raw and Nitro reports saved if you want any.

 

GH & Joe blows everything and anything you have ever known about recapping out of the water.

 

Jericho curse!

Baby Dean Malenko!

DDP!

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Oh fuck it.

 

* We are just as shocked as anyone about Eyada's untimely passing. Many of you may have thought that due to some of the degrading jokes we made about Dave and Bryan, that we didn't like them. That is certainly not the case, as we both tuned into the show everyday and it was without a doubt the best audio wrestling show ever. We called quite a bit in the earlier days to see if we could make the Justin Credible's and the Lance Storm's of the world laugh. We made fun of Dave's frequent fits of laughter throughout our reports. All that means about Dave is that he must have really enjoyed doing the show, which makes it even sadder for us to see it go. We even cracked jokes about Bryan Alvarez and his gymnastic abilities on the pummel horse. But Bryan's the kind of guy who can shrug things like that off because he has a good sense of humor. Hopefully, Dave can get some sort of sponsorship and get the show going once again. But until then, we'd like to say goodbye and thank you to Wrestling Observer Live. [Fade to black]

 

["I Will Remember You" plays as we see slow motion clips of Dave laughing, Bryan sticking his index finger in the air as he tells Dave a joke, Dave's dog attacking Frank Shamrock, Bryan doing a gymnastics floor routine where he lands perfectly and Dave jumps up and cheers in the audience, and Dave having a MMA guest on the weekend after Vince bought WCW.]

 

[A Growing Pains final season like ending is shown as Dave grabs a group picture of him, Bryan, Frank, and Al from the fireplace at Eyada Studios. As Dave picks up the picture, he sees something carved into the wall with a knife. Dave takes a closer look and sees the phrase - "TOM ZENK WAS HERE... OLE GIVES BJ'S"

 

[Click HERE to listen to Dave's response as he smiles lovingly and gently rubs his finger over the carving.]

 

Wrestling Observer Live

The Best Audio Wrestling Show Ever

1999-2001

 

Click HERE for a tribute song

 

* The Curse of The Revenge of the Smarts: The news of the show being cancelled was very sudden. Not only was Joe out of town the day of the last show, but the power went out in my neighborhood 20 minutes into the show, AND NOW the last show is not being archived. Of the 20 minutes I did hear, Dave mentioned something about an ECW invasion. If this happens we’ll mark out like a bunch of fucking cocks.

 

*And thanks to Bryan Alvarez for saying that he thought Revenge of the Smarts was funny. (even if he didn't, or hasn't seen Revenge of the Nerds) Anyone who can read the jokes we wrote about them like that and laugh it off is not vegan in our books.

 

* We goofed last week and forgot to post the Booker T clip. Have a seat, Click HERE, and listen to one of our favorite moments in wrestling history.

 

Recap of last weeks WCW happenings.

 

JR tells us that The Undertaker will take on Mike Awesome and Lance Storm in a handicapped match.

 

Shane Mcmahon walks down to the ring for his match and it looks like JR and Heyman are going to stick around to do the commentary this time. Taker says he has a score to settle with DDP. Shane steps out of the ring as DDP's music hits. DDP has an old school Steve Austin like entrance as we see a wall of skin crust with "DDP" written on it. The skin flake wall crumbles with a sound effect of a crouton being crunched.

 

The Undertaker vs. DDP

 

Taker tosses DDP around for a bit. Shane crawls into the ring as UT starts to chokeslam DDP and attacks Taker with a cane. Taker quickly overpowers Shane and sets him up for the Last Ride. DDP recovers and attacks Taker with a chair before he can powerbomb Shane. Shane and DDP double-team Taker in the corner. Sara tries to stop them but she ends up being diamond cut for her troubles. They lay Taker on top of Sara and leave the ring together. Shane and DDP celebrate at the top of the ramp as EMT's check on Sarah.

 

Shane and DDP continue celebrating backstage. Nothing douchey so far from DDP. DDP gets on UT's motorcycle and has trouble getting it in gear! HAHAH! DOUCHE!

 

Commercials.

 

Taker helps load Sara onto the ambulance. In the VERY distant background we see a shadowy figure and it looks like he's preparing for his match. The figure climbs on top of a balcony, dives through 20 tables, and begins raking his forehead with what looks like a cheese-grater. The figure then spreads his arms and crawls out of the view of the camera.

 

JR - "THE HELL WAS THAT?"

 

Heyman sweating and pulling at his collar - "What's what?"

 

The Dudley Boyz vs. The APA

 

Replay of Spike breaking his ankle on Smackdown. New Jack, in his second RF Shoot called Spike the toughest wrestler he ever went up against and this clip does nothing but prove his point. When did the APA start wearing gloves? Very vegan. Slow match for the most part. Crowd begins a table chant less then a minute in. Bradshaw "powerbombs" Bubba out of the corner and makes the hot tag. Dudleys eventually hit the headbutt spot and bring out a table. Spike walks down and hits Bubba with a crutch. Bradshaw hits the Clothesline from Hell on D-Von and gets the 3 and the titles.

 

A strange video clip plays that seems to mimic the old Simpsons episode where Homer runs on the treadmill and his bouncing blubber puts the doctors into a hypnotic trance. We see Dustin Runnels running on the treadmill in slow motion. Doctors look on taking notes as their heads bob up and down watching... GOOD GOD... WE'RE STOPPING THIS JOKE RIGHT HERE! That was a close one.

 

Backstage, Vince Mcmahon talks with Steve Austin and Debra. Vince begins to rant on Shane. Kurt Angle walks in still wearing his cowboy hat from Smackdown. Kurt has brought presents for Vince and Austin. Vince and Austin open their boxes to reveal Sheriff's badges. Angle opens his present to reveal a gold badge. Austin then tells Angle he looks like a jackass in his hat. Austin then tells Angle to go to Booker T's lockerroom and challenge him for the WCW title.

 

Commercials.

 

Kane arrives to the arena. In the very distant background we see another shadowy figure possibly preparing for a match tonight. The figure does several somersaults, 7 cartwheels, a double backflip, a headspin on the top turnbuckle, and then springboards to the top rope. The figure yells out - "Ok, how long did it take me to set that spot up?" Another figure in the distance pushes a button on a stopwatch and yells out - "4 f'n' minutes" Figure - "DAMN!" Figure with the stopwatch - "You know you'll never be on Raw if it takes you that long to set up a spot... maybe you shouldn't do so many cartwheels and somersaults." Figure - "NO! THE CROWD WANTS SOMMERSAULTS!" [Click HERE to listen to the crowd reaction to this] Figure - "See, what'd I tell you?!"

 

Rhyno vs. Albert

 

Rhyno starts out a house of fire against Albert. X-Pac sneaks in and superkicks Rhyno from behind. Albert goes for a pin but thankfully only gets 2. Rhyno hits a beautiful back suplex on Albert (TECHNICAL RHYNO!). Rhyno hits a huge Frogsplash on Albert for 2 and 3/4 (LUCHA RHYNO!). Rhyno goes for the Gore, but Albert sidesteps it. X-Pac sneaks in but gets Gored for his troubles. Rhyno turns around to eat a huge scissors kick from Albert and then gets pinned.

 

Booker T exercises in his lockerroom. Kurt Angle walks in and tells him just who he is. Booker asks him how he's doing and Angle tells him he's pretty peed off. Shane challenges him and Booker accepts. Booker asks him if he really thinks he has a chance. Angle - "Yippe Kieaye Mother Hubbard."

 

Commercials.

 

Exxon Blown Spot of the week is Crash Holly's blown spot where he tried to dive through the ropes but smacked into them instead. Ok it wasn't.

 

William Regal is shown on the phone in his office. Tajiri squeals and suddenly cowers in fear. Kane walks in and says he'll take his brother's place in the handicapped match tonight.

 

Jeff Hardy vs. The Big Show

 

Jeff dances and then SALUTES the crowd. Awesome stuff. TBS chucks Jeff around for awhile. Trish Stratus walks down to the ring. Back in the ring, Jeff hits a missile dropkick on TBS. Jeff goes for a hurracanrana, but Big Show catches him and tosses him OVER his head. TBS then gets the easy 3 on Jeff. Trish comes into the ring and KISSES Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy looks on very confused. We love it when we don't have to think up jokes.

 

Backstage, Kurt Angle stretches and does the Rumpshaker in Steve Austin's face. Linda Mcmahon is shown in a bikini standing on the shore playing a saxophone. Good Grief, we apologize for the visual folks. Austin tells Vince that he's volunteering his leadership for Team WWF. Angle says that if he wins the WCW title, he should be it. Angle tells Austin he sees himself as the Skipper and Austin as Gilligan. Austin tells Angle it's the other way around. Chris Jericho barges in and says that the rumors about him joining WCW after KOTR were just rumors. Jericho then tells Austin he wants to be on his team. Austin and Angle tell Jericho that they'll think about it but they don't want him right now.

 

Commercials.

 

JR and Heyman tells us that Lita and Trish will take on Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson in a bra & panties match at Invasion.

 

Matt Hardy and Lita are shown at WWF NY. In an awesome spot, Lita has trouble hearing JR. Ok it wasn't that great. Lita tells Trish that actions speak louder then words as she lays a big one on Matt.

 

Shane Mcmahon gives Booker T a pep talk.

 

Vince Mcmahon gives Kurt Angle a pep talk.

 

Coach Lubbock gives Wendy a pep talk.

 

The host from Nick Arcade gives a contestant a pep talk.

 

Sid Viscous gives his bladder a pep talk.

 

Rodge gives Shirley Hemphill’s box afro a pep talk.

 

Bret Hart gives Jim Neidhart a pep talk about getting hungry and forgetting his manners.

 

Jack Victory looks on smiling and nodding his head.

 

Commercials

 

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T

 

Booker lays into Angle with some chops to start. Angle fights back and clotheslines Booker out of the ring. Shane clotheslines Angle from behind and knocks him into the steps. Back in the ring, Booker hits a missile dropkick for a count of 2. Angle reverses an Irish whip into the corner and hits a back suplex on Booker. Booker quickly fights back and hits a spin kick for 2. Crowd starts an "Angle" chant as he fights back with some suplexes. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Booker slips out and hits the Axe Kick. Booker does the backspin, but Angle gets up and clotheslines him before he can do anything. Angle locks the Ankle Lock on Booker in the middle of the ring. The ref acts distracted and doesn't ask booker if he gives up. Angle tries to tell the ref to turn around, but Booker knocks him into the ref. Angle hits the Angle Slam on Booker and goes for the pin. Earl Hebner runs in to count the pin but gets pulled out by Nick Patrick. Hebner runs in and spears Patrick. Shane hands Booker the title belt and he hits Angle with it. Booker goes for the pin and Lil Natch slides in and counts 3. Good stuff, finally.

 

Commercials.

 

Angle tells Vince and Austin he really didn't mean it when he said not to help him against Booker T. Austin tells Angle that's why he should be the leader of team WWF.

 

Scott Hudson interviews Torrie Wilson and Stacey about the tag team bra an panties match at Invasion. Hudson - "Stacey, the fans are dying to know, what excuse will you use to no-show the next house show event?" Stacey - "Hmmm, I think I'll say I have really bad diarreah." Hudson - "GOOD NIGHT!"

 

The APA tell The Dudley's they didn't know Spike was going to interfere and try to smooth things over by offering them a beer. The Dudley's decline. Buh Buh - "Why don't you ask us again at the end of the night." ECW!! ECW!! ECW!!

 

Commercials.

 

Kane vs. Lance Storm and Mike Awesome

 

One wonders how Mike Awesome will kick Kane's teeth down his fucking throat with that mask on. Before the match starts, Chris Jericho comes out to even the odds and teams with Kane. Jericho and Storm's past as a tag team is brought up while they wrestle. Jericho is tuned on for most of the match. He makes a quick comeback against Storm, but Storm brings his knees up on a Lionsault attempt. If Lance Storm was wrestling on instinct he would have put his elbows over his face. Jericho hits a ghetto blaster on Storm and finally makes the tag to Kane. Kane cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Awesome. Jericho comes off the top with a dropkick on Storm. Just as Jericho has Storm in the Walls and Kane goes for a chokeslam TOMMY F'N DREAMER AND ROB VAN DAM RUN IN FROM THE CROWD AND ATTACK JERICHO AND KANE!! THE DUDLEY'S, TAZZ, RHYNO, RAVEN, AND JUSTIN CREDIBLE ALL HIT THE RING AND FACE OFF WITH STORM, AWESOME, DREAMER, AND RVD. IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! ALL THE ECW GUYS SLOWLY TURN AROUND AND FACE JERICHO AND KANE!! THE ECW GUYS SWARM JERICHO AND KANE AND BEAT THEM DOWN!! IT'S HAPPENED! SPICOLLI DRIVER ON JERICHO! POORLY EXECUTED VAN DAMINATOR ON KANE!! RVD STAYS IN CHARACTER!! Heyman leaves the broadcast booth and hits the ring! Heyman says he's been forced to be a corporate sell-out with that pig JR. "It looks to me, like they all have joined, E-C-W!" DREAMER ARM SPREAD! Heyman says they'll take on the WWF and WCW. "This invasion just got taken, to the EXTREME!" The crowd chants ECW as Dreamer is bursting at the seams and Tazz has a big smile on his face. Heyman lines up all his men in a single file line facing the camera. Each ECW guy takes a step forward and introduce themselves Mickey Mouse Club style to familiarize their ECW personas with the crowd. Click HERE to listen. The ECW theme plays as we head to break. One question. Where's Tajiri? One more question. Where's Tracey Smothers?

 

We request, NAY WE DEMAND A GREASED ROPES MATCH BETWEEN SABU AND CHRIS JERICHO AT INVASION!!

 

Commercials.

 

Tony Schiavone, what did you think of that last segment? Click HERE

 

JR sits alone as he wonders how long Heyman has been planning this.

 

Shane talks to Vince and says they need to work together tonight to get rid of ECW. Shane says he'll get five of his guys and Vince gets five of his for one match tonight to get rid of the 10 ECW guys. 20 MAN TAG?! Vince and Shane argue over which team will follow orders.

 

Commercials.

 

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. X-Pac

 

Who cares? ECW is reunited. Match is basically a backdrop for JR to talk about the ECW situation. X-Pac wins by holding the ropes and sitting down on Scotty.

 

Vince gives a pep talk to the WCW and WWF guys. Good Lord the teams are APA, Billy Gunn, Big Show, and Bob Holly for WWF, and Kanyon, Meat, Jindrak, Palumbo, and O'Haire for WCW. Way to kill our excitement for this match. Shane says he'll personally lead the teams. Vince says Shane will be personally responsible as well.

 

Commercials.

 

The WWF and WCW teams hit the ring. Lilian tries to introduce the WCW team, but all she can get out is "Chuck O'Haire!" then she gives up! That was awesome. The two teams start jawing with each other and then all hell breaks loose with both teams fighting. The WWF mid carders clear the ring and the ECW music hits. Tazz leads the ECW army in from the crowd, all wearing ECW shirts. They make it to the ring and start brawling with the WWF team. The ECW team clears the ring and challenge the WCW guys to come in the ring. The WCW guys stand off with the ECW team and they all start hugging! The WCW and ECW teams join up to beat up the WWF guys. Shane and Paul Heyman embrace in the ring. Vince walks out and asks what the hell is going on. Tazz hooks the Tazmission on Bob Holly as Shane goes Old School Sunday Night Heat on us. "YEAH! TAZMISSION!" Sean O' Haire gives his DVD type thingy to Faarooq, then Faarooq gets a 3D. Top rope Van Daminator on Billy Gunn with tons of light. Shane says he can't compete with Vince's checkbook, but he can outsmart him. Shane announces the merger of WCW and ECW, and says they'll kick the WWF's ass. Shane then introduces the newest owner of ECW...Stephanie Mcmahon!! Vince watches in shock as his daughter walks by him on the ramp.

 

Stephanie Mcmahon in ECW? Think of the possibilities...[rubs chin, dream sequence fades in]

 

Rhyno - "What's the matter? Is it because you're Raven's fucking girlfriend?!"

 

Stephanie - "No! I'm pregnant!"

 

Raven - "The pills say one day at a time moron! What are you an idiot?!"

 

Stephanie - "What do you care? It's not yours!"

 

[Raven looks at Rhyno]

 

Rhyno - "Don't look at me! All she did was suck my fucking cock!"

 

[Dream sequence fades out.]

 

JR - "MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR WWF SOULS!" Fuck everyone who doesn't like this. Fuck em all.

 

On: ECW

 

Off: The End of Wrestling Observer Live.

 

Nuff said.

[Guest Crucifixio Jones]

God I remember that.

 

:::wipes away a tear:::

 

I don't know if that's cuz I miss them so or that shit was so fucking funny. Either way, kudos for posting it (and even having it saved somewhere). RRR has always been one of my favorite non-morons here. This just cemented his position in my "good" book.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Reading that, it reminds me how much Gh & Joe have influenced me in my writing and in my everyday speech (LUCHA RHYNO!), they were really, really, really smarky, and they included a ton of inside references that if you weren't up to snuff on, you'd be totally lost. And it's such a visual and imaginative style of writing, you don't see that around now-a-days.

 

RRR: still wiping the tears away from the kind words of CJones... A non-moron? ME? I though I'd never see the day.. *sniff*

[Guest the 1inch punch]

Stephanie Mcmahon in ECW? Think of the possibilities...[rubs chin, dream sequence fades in]

 

Rhyno - "What's the matter? Is it because you're Raven's fucking girlfriend?!"

 

Stephanie - "No! I'm pregnant!"

 

Raven - "The pills say one day at a time moron! What are you an idiot?!"

 

Stephanie - "What do you care? It's not yours!"

 

[Raven looks at Rhyno]

 

Rhyno - "Don't look at me! All she did was suck my fucking cock!"

 

[Dream sequence fades out.]

Best Thing Ever Posted On This Board

[Guest ShooterJay]

Can somebody post "Revenge of the Smarts" if they have it? I've been trying to track it down forever.