There are no plans to give Gowen

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Yeah, I was thinkin about just having Zach out on a speedboat, but I couldn't think of any logical reason for him to be out there, ya know?

[Guest Choken One]

It's the wwe why does it matter?

 

Instead of Little kids playing volleyball...

 

CRUISERWEIGHTS!

[Guest Askewniverse]

The bomb thing can work a bunch of different ways.  When Zach makes his full recovery, and they make a huge big celebration and a montage about him fighting death twice and all that loverly crap, he enters the ring only to have the clock still ticking on the screen and it counts down and then he blows up, or something... I guess.... It's one of those slow burn angles.

You could just have it turn out that the bomb was actually Big Show's oven timer or something. When it goes off, Big Show goes to find Zach so that he can eat him.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

He could be running from Vince who's on a speed boat himself being flanked by armed men on Jet Ski's.

John Woo could direct it.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

The bomb thing can work a bunch of different ways.  When Zach makes his full recovery, and they make a huge big celebration and a montage about him fighting death twice and all that loverly crap, he enters the ring only to have the clock still ticking on the screen and it counts down and then he blows up, or something... I guess.... It's one of those slow burn angles.

You could just have it turn out that the bomb was actually Big Show's oven timer or something. When it goes off, Big Show goes off to find Zach so that he can eat him.

No it's like a movie. We're getting all the back and forth flashes and it finally goes off and we just see Zach sitting in the car.

Then we see Big Show:

"MMMMM! CUP CAKES!"

and we flip back to Gowen as tragedy strikes!

And then Big Show has an alibi.

[Guest The Decadent Slacker]

Speedboat=Hogan & Chris Lemmon trying to save Gowen from the evil Vince.

 

Thunder In Paradise needs to return dammit

[boobshaw 0]

Big Show does Easy Bake?

[boobshaw 0]

Speedboat=Hogan & Chris Lemmon trying to save Gowen from the evil Vince.

 

Thunder In Paradise needs to return dammit

Thunder In Paradise = VIP minus the TNA (same acting talent)

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Yeah...he just needed the rainbow colored sprinkles or it tastes like shit.

[Guest Askewniverse]

Wouldn't this whole angle just give Gowen even more TV time, which is exactly what we don't want? If you want to make it quick and painless, just have Vince fire him, and pretend like Gowen never existed.

[Guest The Decadent Slacker]

Can't we just get Dawn Marie to fuck him to death?

[boobshaw 0]

Knowing the WWE, they would make Dawn Marie make many "dildoesque" innuendos about his prosthetic leg.

 

Yes, I did just make up a new word.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Hmm, the John Woo thing has potential. I was just thinking Gowen falls in love with a Mermaid, since -you know- Mermaids don't have any legs at all. We could blend ideas together, really. Vince wants to get between Zach and his fishlike-female funbuddy and it leads to a waterworld-esque sequence and Vince can finally wear that pirates patch he's always wanted to wear, and Steph can be the sea-hussy, and Sable could be the queen of the mermaids who left her underwater life for fame and fortune and it turns out that Gowens mermaid girl friend is Sables daughter and princess of aqualand and it's this sorta romeo and julliet-based story but with mermaids and wrestling, and it all leads up to the ticking bomb sequence where Zach risks his life to save his one true love and ultimately dies in the process, so she kills herself too because life without him just wouldn't be as sweet.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Yes but the death of Gowen would be more entertaining than him being a fiery youngster with a big heart.

How about Hogan returns and knocks him off of a building?

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

You know, Hollywood stuff.

 

They make movies, you know?

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Yes RRR....very good....THEN KANE HAS SEX WITH HER DEAD BODY!

 

Sorry...you were all thinking it. Don't lie.

[Guest Anglesault]

Wouldn't this whole angle just give Gowen even more TV time, which is exactly what we don't want?

But only for one episode. After that

 

::bows head solemnly::

[boobshaw 0]

Then Big Bossman returns to take a ride on his casket.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Yeah we could just have a little blurb about him like Al Wilson and then never mention it again.

Which reminds me....when is Al coming back from the dead? You just know it's going to happen.

[Guest Anglesault]

Now we just have to figure out who did shoot Gowen.

Kristen

[Guest Askewniverse]

How about Hogan returns and knocks him off of a building?

Hogan's history with pushing people off of buildings and killing them isn't very successful. Just ask Big Show.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Then Big Bossman returns to take a ride on his casket.

No that was Big Show. See Gowen could've stolen the light to his easy bake oven like in Sealab 2021. So Big Show rides the casket in an attempt to get it back.

Big Show: "PIPING HOT FROM IT'S 40 WATT WOMB!"

McMahon: That's it! If one more person says Womb!

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

THEN we could bring back Papa Shango who raises the dead (Al, Zach, and "Alendra, the Merwoman") to aid in the battle against that damned Mr. McMahon and his rowdy crew of upperworldian scallywags.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

This will be the best movie ever! The WWE wants to make movies well this should be there first feature film!

[Guest Anglesault]

How about Hogan returns and knocks him off of a building?

Hogan's history with pushing people off of buildings and killing them isn't very successful. Just ask Big Show.

So, Hogan needs that job back.

[Guest AndrewTS]

His pops are shrinking rapidly. Not only do they have to keep him away from the title, thy should take him off TV. Kill him off or something at the PPV.

On SD, where they can easily edit in pops, when Steph mentioned Gowen's name the crowd was like: "eh."

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

It's like a modern-day Gangs of New York, but with Mermaids, Wrestling, Pirates, Cripples, and Voodoo Priests.

[Guest The Mighty Damaramu]

Your sig just inspired me! If they want Kane to be a homicidal maniac he could show up and kill Gowan. And we'll wonder who it was until we find Kane in the basement cradling the limp body of Gowan in his arms while crying.

It would make little to no sense but make for a funny visual.

[Guest Askewniverse]

How about Hogan returns and knocks him off of a building?

Hogan's history with pushing people off of buildings and killing them isn't very successful. Just ask Big Show.

So, Hogan needs that job back.

Yes, but would Hogan be willing to accept Zach as a suitable replacement for Big Show? Or did you mean that Hogan should Big Show off of a building again?

[Guest Anglesault]

It's like a modern-day Gangs of New York, but with Mermaids, Wrestling, Pirates, Cripples, and Voodoo Priests.

Leonardo DiCaprio fills three out of five of those categories, so not that different.