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TV and Radio Morning Shows

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Just need to vent here, no fancy essay or anything. I've been waking up early lately, and as a result I've been experiencing the morning shows on television and radio more than often. Whilst in the car, I've been subjected to a terrible morning show on the radio. I hate HATE these programs so much. I could go on forever detailing all the stupidity of these shows, but I don't feel like typing it all, so I'll just say the only good morning show around here is the morning news on channel 9. Everything else sucks.

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The ones here are either:

 

Stoners who talk about the past, drugs, Iron Maiden, and play Def Leppard at 7:30.

 

or

 

The stereotypical shock jocks, who bash the bible, talk about girls' tits, demean women at every turn, and generally have a pompous attitude towards the listeners of the station.

 

I listen to the stoners because they torture the piss boy.

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The ones here are either:

 

Stoners who talk about the past, drugs, Iron Maiden, and play Def Leppard at 7:30.

 

or

 

The stereotypical shock jocks, who bash the bible, talk about girls' tits, demean women at every turn, and generally have a pompous attitude towards the listeners of the station.

 

I listen to the stoners because they torture the piss boy.

The worst are those kinds that are wacky and zany. Not quite shock-jocks, just wacky. They tend to have an unmatched abundance of funny news stories from Finland or Cameroon that involve a man being punished for a speeding ticket with a vasectomy or something like that. For their bumpers coming back out of a break, they will invariably have some hodgepodge of movie lines taken out of context like "I can't believe these idiots are here!" "It's the Josh and Ruth Morning Show!" "This is what happens when the inmates run the asylum." "Right here on Magic 96!"

 

These shows are my enemy.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

You and me both. I work third shift, so I get to hear all this goddamn cheerful shit on the ride home. I often drive in silence because of it. Bob and Tom are completely unfunny every single time they open their retarded mouths, and it's matched only by the asinine amateur ramblings of "Brian and Vanessa" on the local classic rock station. Brian is a two-bit radio version of Chandler from friends, and Vanessa is no doubt a failed dental assistant that weighs 250 lbs, and regards everything Brian says like it's somehow witty or even tolerable. The same cookie cutter happy "Ohhhhh...hahaha" for EVERYTHING. The other station worth a shit around here goes crazy playing Disturbed, Saliva, and commercials in the morning, mingled with the "shock jock" schtick, only watered down as all hell.

 

Modern rock radio is a dying whore that needs to shoot up just one more time.

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Vanessa is no doubt a failed dental assistant that weighs 250 lbs, and regards everything Brian says like it's somehow witty or even tolerable.

Which market are you in AoO? I get Chicago and Milwaukee and other smaller ones in between...it's the worst of both worlds.

 

 

I remember once on channel 50 in Chicago (now a UPN affiliate) they did a program called "Radio Faces" where they would show random morning shows in the city with cameras in the studios so you could see what your favorite DJs looked like. This was around 1994, 1995. In specific, they showed Mancow Muller (going by his full name at the time, and I don't think he was at Q101), Steve Dahl, et al. The reason I bring this up is because the woman who read the news on B96's morning show, which I listened to at the time, was deceptively like 350 pounds. I was shocked, and frankly a little disgusted.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I live in Northeastern Indiana. The nearest civilization is Ft. Wayne. We get some shit out of Indianapolis as well, but other than that, local entertainment is home-spun heartland goodness from untalented yokels.

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I live in Northeastern Indiana. The nearest civilization is Ft. Wayne. We get some shit out of Indianapolis as well, but other than that, local entertainment is home-spun heartland goodness from untalented yokels.

I see. Ouch.

 

 

It's weird, you can tell there's a huge disparity in talent between Chicago DJs and Milwaukee DJs, as well as television hosts, for that matter. The Milwaukee stations just have a bush-league feel to them while the Chicago stations are much more slick and btter produced. Of course, this makes sense, because Chicago, L.A., and New York are the Big 3 markets that radio and television hopefuls spend a good part of their careers working their way up to. Nobody sets their heart on making it to Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

..or Blackford County, Indiana. up Roann ways..that's where Brian and Vanessa are located..

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