Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 OAOAST HeldDOWN~! September 18, 2003 It's time for the Thursday night show that might not be in it's final season, but is just as loved. We could use more people who look like Jennifer Aniston though... OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Standing by to welcome us to this week's broadcast are NFL broadcaster John Madden and prop comic turned 1-800-CALL-ATT spokesperson Carrot Top~! (Just Kidding) It's MICHAEL COLE AND THE COACH~! Coach:"What's up, OAOAST fans? It's "Coach" Coachman here, alongside the M.C. in the place to be, Michael Cole, and it's time once again for OAOAST HeldDOWN~!" MC:"Coach Coachman, eh? Kinda like Rad Radford?" Coach:"Yeah, except flannel really isn't my thing." MC:"Ah, I see. Would you like to tell the fans what they're in store for tonight, or is this going to become Fashion Corner with The Coach?" Coach:"Fine. Folks, last week we saw quite the twist ending to our program, as rookie sensation Axel, fresh off winning the Revolution Cup AND pinning OAOAST Calvin Szechstein in a non-title affair, showed his true colors when he aligned WITH Calvin and the rest of Totally Endorsed!" MC:"You know, ever since Calvin won the title, things have gone downhill, at least as far as I'm concerned. We've had our General Manager Tim Moysey sidetracked by a feud where he actually returned to in-ring action. The former champion, Zack Malibu, still has lingering injuries, but Calvin is shying away from him as much as he can. Chalk that up with another superstar on the verge of retirement, SpiderPoet, and Totally Endorsed is picking their spots at the right time." Coach:"But as the old saying goes, Michael, what goes up, must come down. Calvin's empire nearly crumbled before, and if this becomes a case of too much, too soon, then I look for the same to happen again." Cole: "It's never too soon though, because tonight Coach we have a one on one match-up set due to last week's events. One half of the Tag Team Champions, Parka, taking on the Revolution Tournament winner and the newest member of Totally Endorsed, Axel!" Coach: "Axel shocked the world last week by giving PK an Axel Slam and costing the Dream Machines the match against Calvin and Colvid!" Cole: "We are expected to hear from Axel tonight, and hopefully we will get an answer as to why he joined Totally Endorsed." *The arena suddenly turns a dark shade of blue, and ‘Breathe’ by the Prodigy starts up! Axel appears at the HeldDOWN entrance way with his new music, and his now customary black baseball bat! Breathe with me! Breathe the pressure, Come play my game I'll test ya. Psychosomatic addict, insane. Breathe the pressure, Come play my game I'll test ya. Psycho, somatic addict, insane. Come play my game. Inhale, inhale, you're the victim. Come play my game. Exhale, exhale, exhale. * Cole: Well ask and you shall receive, for the Dark One is about to join us Coach. Coach: He was my dawg last week, but he’s not anymore Cole, why did he have to join Totally Endorsed? *Axel makes his way slowly to ringside, carrying a black baseball bat, with the OAOAST Champion behind him, carrying Axel’s Revolution Trophy!* Cole: And, of course fans, there is our OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Calvin Szechstein accompanying Axel to ringside. *Axel gets up on the apron and does the crucifix pose to a course of boos. He then steps into the ring and grabs a microphone.* *The crowd are still booing Axel, there is a close up of a fan with a sign that says: ‘Why Axel Why?’* Cole: The fans want answers, and I have a feeling that we are about to get them! *The music dies down* Crowd: YOU SOLD OUT! YOU SOLD OUT! Axel: Welcome to my world. *The Crowd boos heavily* Axel: So, the Dark One comes out here, and all you can do is boo? You boo me, even though you know nothing about me. You are all sheep. Following what everyone else tells you to follow, cheer who everyone tells you to cheer. Some might say you are lambs being led to the slaughter. Axel: I look around, and all of you are below me. I am the Revolution Tournament winner, and I am the man that has risen to the top of OAOAST quicker than any other. You know it, the superstars of OAOAST know it, and I certainly know it. I am the man that you all came to see tonight, I am the man that you left your pathetic little lives to see tonight. *The crowd boos even more, and starts an ASS-HOLE ASS-HOLE chant* Axel: All week long, every single time I have run into someone that watches HeldDown, they have all asked me the same damn question. Why. They all want to know why I came out here last week and gave PK an Axel Slam. They all want to know why I joined Totally Endorsed. Well, I’m here to give them an answer. Cole: Well then hurry up Axel, get to the point! Axel: Joining Totally Endorsed wasn’t a sponsorship thing; it wasn’t even a money thing. Joining Totally Endorsed was the one way that I could get where I wanted to go, the one way that I could fulfill my dreams. Calvin approached me last week, and he told me that if I joined him, Colvid and Sly, that I would be a champion. Calvin assured me that I would be a champion. He has given me the opportunity. Cole: Well which Championship is Axel going after? It can’t be the World Title! Axel: So, at Dirty Deeds, it will be Axel, the Dark One, teaming with Colvid to take on the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, The Dream Machines! *crowd pops huge at the mention of the DM’s names* Axel: Parka, PK, two weeks ago I beat this man, the greatest OAOAST Champion of all time, Calvin Szechstein. After that match, you guys ran in and attacked Totally Endorsed from behind. Calvin and Colvid have assured me that the little beat down after the match was a misunderstanding, and I have forgiven them for that. I cannot, however, forgive you two. I will beat the living hell into you at Dirty Deeds, and I will do anything possible to take your titles. *crowd boos heavily at that comment* Cole: How can Axel forgive Totally Endorsed for attacking him? He’s been brainwashed! Coach: He is gold hungry Michael, that’s all. *Axel passes the microphone to Calvin* Calvin: Now I would just like to say that no one has more respect for Axel than the OAOAST Champion Calvin Szechstein. He took me to my limits two weeks ago, and pinned me. I can’t deny that. I gave him the opportunity to become a Champion, and he took it. No one can blame him for that. Axel did what he had to do to be successful in this business. You fans should respect him for that. *crowd boos yet again* Cole: Axel attacked the Tag Champions, he doesn’t deserve our respect! *Calvin hands the microphone back to Axel* Axel: Tonight begins a new chapter of my career. Main eventing once again, this time against Parka. Parka, I am going to give you a little taste of Dirty Deeds. I am powerful, I am immortal, I can do anything, I am cursed, I am the Darkness. You, Parka, are nothing but the next victim. Axel: Parka, tonight, you will feel the pain, taste the pain, and when it’s all said and done, I will make you like the damn – * ‘California Love’ hits and the Dream Machines sprint to the ring! Cole: Here come the Tag Champions! And they are pissed off! *The Dream Machines run to the ring and go after Axel and Calvin. Calvin slips out of the ring but Axel suffers a clothesline!* Cole: The Dream Machines are going to get payback! *Parka boots Axel in the midsection and sets him up for the Day of the Dead!* Coach: Parka is going to get the first blow in here! *Parka goes to lift Axel up but Calvin pulls him out of the ring by the foot!* Cole: Calvin saved Axel from a certain Day of the Dead there! *The crowd boos heavily, they wanted to see Axel go down!* *Axel and Calvin retreat as ‘Breathe’ plays in the background. Axel points his bat at Park and says ‘You’re first’* Cole: What a main event we have for you tonight on HeldDOWN! (Commercial Break) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 MC: "The Dream Machines are certainly ready for revenge here tonight. I'm sure Axel got some nice welcoming presents courtesy of sponsors like Sean John and Pepsi, but all the designer jeans and vanilla sodas can't make up for the pain he's set to endure tonight in our main event." Coach:"It's true, Michael. The Dream Machines won the fans over with their fearless, take no prisoners attitude. Couple that with the fact that they know T.E. strategy very well due to their previous feud which culminated in that classic Glass Table match, and we could have a bloodbath on our hands!" Surprisingly, SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT blares across the speakers and COBAINWASMURDERED comes out from the back!! CWM plays to the crowd and jumps into the ring grabbing a Mike from the announcer. Coach:"YO~!" MC:"CWM~!" The veteran superstar holds the mic, waiting for the crowd pop and the ensuing chants of his initials to die out. Rather than play to the crowd or encourage the chant, CWM stands firm, with a slightly pissed look on his face. CWM: I AM BACK! Those bastards in charged fined me and tried to get rid of me but I will NEVER LEAVE the OAOAST or my fans again! CWM isn’t going anywhere. I’ve put to much into my career to let things end now. That **** Hex Machina got under my skin but he hasn’t shown his face since the PPV. You know why? Because he’s scared! He knows that I’m at a level above him. He knows that I AM THE OAOAST! He knows that CWM is more hardcore then anyone in this game. And he knows that CWM is the most dominant man in the history of wrestling. And tonight I’m going to prove it. I want NAZ out here now! Naz eventually slinks out of the back in street clothes. Naz: What do you want CWM? CWM: I want you. In this ring, tonight NO DQ. Naz: Hey I didn’t bring my gear I’m not ready… CWM hammers Naz in the face sending him to the mat. CWM: I don’t care if you’re ready. GET A REF OUT HERE. A ref hurries out of the back. CWM VS. NAZ CWM grabs a stunned Naz by the hair and hauls him up to his feet. CWM whips him into the ropes and hits a vicious backdrop. CWM hammers away on NAZ’S kidneys, not letting up until NAZ grabs the ropes in a desperate attempt to get away. NAZ slips to the outside to gain some recovery time but CWM will have none of that, CWM hits a baseball slide sending NAZ’S face into the railing. CWM picks NAZ up in the powerslam position and rams his kidneys into the steel post. CWM goes to ram NAZ’S head into the post but NAZ gets out and rams CWM into the post instead. NAZ not wasting a moment to allow CWM to recover grabs an electrical cord from ringside and starts choking him. CWM’S face starts to turn purple before NAZ lets go. NAZ picks CWM up and goes for a piledriver. CWM blocks. NAZ tries again…OMG HE HITS IT! CWM IS DEAD! NAZ rolls CWM back into the ring and covers. 1 2 NO! CWM lifts the shoulder! A frustrated NAZ shoves the ref in anger claiming a slow count. As NAZ argues with the ref CWM gets to his feet and signals for a SUPERKICK. NAZ turns around and CWM goes for it but NAZ ducks and CWM hits the ref! NAZ hits a low blow on CWM and goes for a powerbomb BUT YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB KID…CWM~! CWM hits a facebuster and covers but there is no ref. CWM goes outside and goes for a table. He’s about to slide it into the ring when he gets an idea. He sets it up outside. CWM goes back into the ring and grabs NAZ. CWM signals for a Running CONSPIRACYBOMB but NAZ slips out and hits a superkick. CWM goes down to his knees. NAZ grabs a chair and brings it in. He NAILS CWM in the head and covers. THERE”S STILL NO REF! NAZ wakes up the ref and covers again. 1 2 3…NO~! CWM kicked out! NAZ can’t believe it. He picks up the limp CWM and puts him on top of the turnbuckle near the tables. NAZ is going to powerbomb off the top. BUT CWM BLOCKS and NAZ crotches himself on the ropes right above the table. CWM picks up the chair and HAMMERS NAZ sending NAZ FLYING THROUGH the table. CWM pulls NAZ out of the wreckage and rolls him into the ring and covers. 1 2 3!!!!!1 WINNER: COBAINWASMURDERED~! A bleeding CWM gets to his feet and grabs the Mike. CWM: It’s just like I said. I’m more hardcore than anyone. I will beat everyone till I get MY BELT back! Only those smart enough to side with me will survive. Your either with me or your against me…and you DON’T want to be against me. MC:"Wow, strong words from one of our OAOAST "originals"!" Coach:"From the sounds of it, it looks like Calvin Szechstein is going to have even more trouble on his hands. With Hex Machina still nowhere to be found, CWM has announced that he's targetting DA BELT~!" MC:"Speaking from experience, he's going to be painting the town red until he gets it, too. I'm glad I'm not on his bad side." Coach:"Yet." (We cut backstage, where Sly's going through a suitcase of various scantily-clad outfits. Josh is on the other side of the room, staring at a book almost hypnotically...) JM: I am the dot. I am the dot. I am the dot. I am the dot. I am t....(Sly walks over) SLY: What in the heck are you doing? JM: Preparing for the match. You know the Bobby Budnick Method: in order to succeed, you must work out the biggest muscle in your body. SLY: Your dialing finger? JM: NO! Your mind. I'm concentrating on being a dot. SLY: O...k....(notices Josh's leg is shaking nervously)....What are you nervous about? JM: Well...it's just that...well, when me and Crystal are wrestling, since she's, uh, built different than me (points at his own chest and groin), where do I put my hands? SLY: Dude, you put your hands wherever she lets you! If she doesn't...just put your hands there anyway! Any more concerns? JM: Yeah...I DON'T WANNA DIE! (clings onto his chair) SLY: Relax, man. I'm taking care of that estrogen-filled moth, and I've got a plan to take care of Teddy Weddy. So, don't worry about it. Now, help me pick out a costume for Crystal. (Sly holds up two teeny-weeny bikinis, in different colors. But, Josh pulls one out that's out of camera view, and they both agree on it.) SLY: Josh, make sure that gets to Crystal's locker room, pronto! (Fade to black) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 We're back, and Jonathan Coachman REALLY needs to pick his jaw up off the floor. Coach:"I swear...if she comes out here wearing something like THAT..." MC:"You'll..." Coach:"...hell, Michael, I'd JOIN Totally Endorsed. I'd be a full on Sly fan just for that!" MC:"You are a very disturbed, desperate man." Coach:"At least I get the poon." MC:"No, you get the PORN. However, this is a family show so I'll stop there." Coach:"Please do. My mama's watchin'." ("I pledge allegiance..." starts up, and out comes Teddy Weddy, with his posse of rejects. As soon as Teddy slides into the ring, "Just a Girl" is cued, and, after struggling to go out, Crystal is almost shoved out of the locker room begrudgingly. She's wearing a grey Bayside Tigers cheerleader's costume. Someone throws a set of pom-poms at her, and she throws them back, and walks angrily to the ring.) COACH: This reminds me of my high school days.... MC: You dated a cheerleader? COACH: No, I was a che....I mean, yes, I dated all of them! MC: Whatever you say, Coach. ("All You Wanted" starts up, and Sly and Josh come out....wearing Bayside Tiger mascot costumes. Right before they entered the ring, they put on the heads, and slid into the ring.) As soon as they slide into the ring, Crystal and Teddy kick their opponents in the head. They pull up the Totally Endorsed members, and use a double Irish whip. Crystal hits a dropkick, and Teddy connects with a big boot. Sly and Josh then slide out of the ring to re-group. They take the masks off, and slide them under the ring. Sly then goes into the ring, to start off with Teddy. They lock up, and Teddy tosses Sly across the ring. Sly gets back up, brushing himself off. He then fakes a run towards Teddy, turns around, and gives a thumbs up to Josh. He turns around, and Teddy shoves him into a neutral corner. Teddy then wails away with forearms to the face. Sly falls on his face. Teddy then drags Sly over to Crystal, and tags her in. Crystal connects with a slingshot legdrop, and pulls Sly up. She whips him to the ropes, but Josh grabs ahold of Sly's waist as he hits the ropes. Josh then tags in, but, seconds later, realizes the error of his mistake, and tries running from the ring. Crystal grabs him by his costume, and pulls him into the ring, in an unorthodox way. She whips him to the ropes, and connects with a flying headscissors. After a second of being dazed, Josh hunts down the main camera, and starts dazily dancing. JM: I did it! My face...it went to the promise land! Thank you, God! This is.... Crystal turns him around, and connects witha kick to the mid-section. She then comes off the other set of ropes, jumps onto his back (while he's bent over), and lands with a Rocker Dropper on Josh. COACH: CHALUPA CRUNCH! CHALUPA CRUNCH! MC: What?!?!?! COACH: That's the finishing manuever of the legendary Spanish wrestler, Sal Del Rio. He won every title in Mexico, Spain, Brazil, even Treasure Island! MC: (hands Coach a set of Prozac pills) Crystal goes for the pin, but Josh gets his foot on the ropes. Josh crawls towards Sly, and tags Sly in. Sly begs for forgiveness, but Crystal kicks him in the head front roundhouse-style. He pulls money out of his pocket to offer her, but she makes a full pivot rotation and kicks the money out of his hand. Another full pivot rotation later, she kicks him in the head again, and he goes down. Crystal goes for a Lionsault, but, when she jumps on the second rope, Josh grabs her leg, and she falls off the rope. Sly gets up, and nails a kneedrop to the back of Crystal's skull. Sly then pulls Crystal up by the hair, and yells, "Man, this'll be better than the amnesia episode of Full House!". He follows up with the Bob Saget Deluxe, the face-to-knee and swinging neckbreaker linked together. Sly goes for the cover, but again, only gets two. Sly then threatens to report the "bad officiating" to Principal Belding. The referee laughs at Sly, and when Sly turns around, Crystal puts him in a small package. However, another two-count. Both pop up, Crystal ducks a clothesline, and springboards to the second rope. She connects with a twisting tornado DDT. She pulls Sly up, and whips him to the rope. She leapfrogs him mid-ring, and tries to do a blind leapfrog when he comes back to the center; but Sly catches Crystal in an electric chair position. However, she amazes us all by connecting with a reverse hurricanrana. With Sly kneeling on one knee by the ropes, she charges at him. But, Josh runs to the apron on that side, and elbows her in the head. Both Sly and Crystal then crawl slowly to their partners. Sly tags in Josh, and Crystal tags in Teddy. Josh runs to the middle of the ring, and lays down. He asks Teddy to pin him. Teddy shakes his head, and picks Josh up by the throat.....High Times Chokeslam! Sly goes to the outside, and grabs one of the tiger heads from under the ring. The camera catches that the decortative fur covers a thick metal shield. Teddy sets Josh up in the corner, and works the crowd some. While Teddy works the crowd, Sly hands Josh the tiger head. Josh swings the head half-heartedly at Teddy, and Teddy grabs it from him. Teddy then throws it at Sly's head, knocking him off the apron. Josh sort of stumbles to the middle of the ring, where Teddy winds up, grabs below, and....connects with the Bionic Elbow. Crystal scales the ropes, and when Josh stumbles in her direction, hits a flying hurricanrana! Teddy & Crystal slap hands, and scale the ropes on opposite sides of the ring. Teddy connects with the Teddy Two-Step, followed by Crystal's Diamond in the Rough! Crystal hooks the leg, 1...2...3! Crystal and Teddy have won this match, and Josh and Sly are split forever! COACH: Well, sadly, this is the end of an era.... MC: Wait, this means we have to put up with him again! Damn it! COACH: Ugh. After Crystal and Teddy make their way to the back with Julius and Gary Busey, Sly and Josh look at each other from opposite sides of the ring. They both half-consiously limp their way to each other, and hug. They leave the arena together for the last time, with an arm around the other's shoulders, for the last time, while crying. MC: Well, that might have been one of the most pathetic things I've ever see. COACH: (sniffling back tears)....That was so....emotional! (Coach goes into full-on whale tears) MC: We'll be back, after this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 Cole: Coach, I'm excited. Coach: .... Damn it! I can't think of any thing witty to say! Cole: So what else is new? Coach: I hope you die. Cole: Right. Fans it's time for a battle between two of the OAOAST's premier superstars... Coach: I didn't know I was having a match. Cole: No, you goof! I'm talking about Spider Poet and Northstar! Both of these men are so similar yet so different. They've both walked the path of good and evil and both have found true love. In Northstar's case true lust. But that's where the similarities end. I can see the good in Poet's eyes and tell he means well. When I look at Northstar, what I and our fans see is a twisted, spiteful man who's hell bent on domination through force and attrition. Coach: Yak, yak! What happens if Spider Poet wins the 24/7 title and then goes into semi-retiremet. He retires with the belt! Cole: Not necessarily, he could put it on the line against Zack and the pissed off prep could win. Or if he does retire with it, he could give it back and it would just be vacated. I'm not worried about that, I'm just glad to see Poet try to pick up a title before he goes. The fans boo when they see Northstar emerge from the back. His Acolytes, Alix Spezia, Silver Star and Flameout join him as he walks down the ramp. Northstar: If I could be so kind as to interrupt whatever unimportant conversations you poster children for abortion are having, I'd like to comment on my aggravation. Aggravation you say? Northstar, dear boy, whatever do you have to be aggravated about? You just vanquished your most hated foe, your sweet girlfriend has returned you. Northstar, there should thou be happy! Unfortunately, the inevitable is only expected, not pleasing. Crowd: Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! Northstar: Children please. My aggravation stems from my upcoming match with Spider Poet. Talk about some bullshit! This ass hole runs off to Scotland to marry some horse faced slut, announces his retirement and is now treated as some sort of hero. One would be fooled into thinking he captured and beheaded Osama Bin Laden. I've even had people come up to me and tell me I should GIVE my title to Spider Poet. Out of respect! Respect for what? Respect for who? What makes this fucker so special that he should get my title? He's only been in the OAOAST a few months longer than me, yet when he announces something as meaningless and as flimsy as his retirement, it's a national day of mourning on the scale of 9/11! However, when I'm stripped of every thing that made me me, now one showed even the slightest bit of concern. The only two who did care were Michael Cole and Coach and they're getting paid to do so! Crowd: Bulllllshit! Bulllllshit! Northstar: Let me summarize. Poet, I do not care if you're retiring, if you were just on your honey moon or if you're new found love has a loose pussy. If you wish to obtain a title before retiring, then that's no problem. But don't expect to do it at my expense. For you see, by going against me you guarantee that your career will not even end with a spark to call it's own Cue: "Short stories with Tragic endings." Cole: Northstar's in deep trouble, now! Northstar motions for Flameout and Silver Star to cut Poet off. They happily oblige. Poet meets them half way down the ramp with a BIG TIME LARIAT. Poet rolls into the ring and spears Northstar! Poet unloads a series of right hands on Northstar. He stops his assault when his knuckle smashes against Northstar's orange goggles. Coach: Ouch! How could Amanda marry such a klutz! She needs to marry me, a responsible and careful citizen. Cole: Why is your shirt on backwards. Cole: Bite me. Northstar head butts Poet! He makes sure his goggles make impact with Poet's nose. Poet shrugs off the pain and hits a fireman's carry! Northstar gets right up and bounces off the ropes. Poet goes for an arm drag, but makes the mistake of telegraphing it. He eats a big boot for his error! Coach: I could see that move coming from a mile away! Cole: He's a little rusty. Give him time. Coach: He doesn't have time. Northstar's gonna eat him up if he can't bring his A game. Northstar's hits a belly to belly suplex. He flexes his biceps before applying a choke hold. The ref tells him to break the hold, which he oddly enough does. Poet gets to his feet and throws an awesome drop kick! Well, it would've been awesome if it hadn't missed. Northstar grabs Poet's legs and sling shots him into the ropes! Cole: Poet is slouched over the top rope. Coach: Thank ye captain obvious! For your next feat, will you tell us the sky is blue? Northstar heads up to the top turnbuckle. Northstar: This one's for you Amanda! Daddy's loves ya! Northstar flys off the top with a MISSILE DROPKICK! POET MOVES OUT THE WAY! NORTHSTAR GOES FLYING TO THE OUTSIDE! Crowd: You fucked up! You fucked up! Cole: That he did! Spidah Po was playing possum! All three of the Acolytes of Northstar rush over to help their fallen leader. Big mistake. Poet floors all four of the goons with a dive off the top rope! Crowd: Poet! Poet! Poet! Poet high fives some of the audience members in the front row. He slides Northstar into the ring and goes for the first pin fall of the match. 1...2........ Northstar's got his foot on the ropes. Coach: Uh, which one of us said that the ring rust would go away? Cole: What are you talking about? Coach: He put Northstar right next to the ropes and then tried to pin him. If that's not ring rust, it's stupidity! And he's not related to you, so it must be ring rust. Poet stomps away at Northstar. He backs him into the corner and nails the kid with a couple of elbows to the cheek bone. Poet moves towards the center of the ring. He points at Northstar and blindly charges him. Northstar ducks down and drop toe holds Poet onto the bottom turnbuckle! Coach: Use the bard powers! Cole: He doesn't want to! Coach: Get off his jock. Is he trying to lose the match? Northstar can take a serious amount of punishment and still come back for more. Did Poet really think an elbow to the cheek would stun him! Northstar hits a back breaker. He turns that into a modified dragon sleeper. Northstar: Don't worry baby, it'll be all right. When you're holed up in the hospital, I'll take real good care of Amanda and you're little kid. Hope it's girl... Poet flips out of the hold and kicks Northstar in the face! Poet rushes at his adversary and floors him with a swinging neck breaker. Poet calls on his fans for support! Crowd: Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Northstar eats rolling snap suplexes! Poet mounts him and beats the ever loving shit out of him! Northstar tosses Poet off and pulls out a shin breaker. Poet shrugs off the move! He goes for a toe kick but Northstar catches his foot. No problem. Poet hits an enziguri! Northstar is down! Pin attempt 1...2...kick out. Coach: I don't want to point fingers, but he didn't hook the leg. Poet goes for a powerbomb! Northstar reverses it with a hurricanrana! MEGA MAGICAL SHARPSHOOTER!!!!!!! Northstar: Oh my God, you should like sooooo tap out! Cole: We haven't seen that move in a long time. Poet gets his hands within reach of the ropes! He reaches out for them but Alix pulls them away! Northstar drags Poet back towards the center of the squared circle! Will he tap? Will he tap? Find out after the commercial? (Cut to commercial) (Return from commercial) Northstar still has Poet locked into the Sharpshooter! Cole: Please give up Spider. You have a family to worry about now, you don't have anything to prove to us. Amanda needs you to be strong for her. Coach: This is great television! Poet makes another attempt to go for ropes. Northstar drags him back just as quickly as he did before. Northstar: C'mon you little ingrate! Who are you trying to kid? You're just an overrated sniveling little shit who crossed the wrong bad guy. You've had this coming for a long time, friend. Poet: Same to you! Poet uses the last of his strength to power out of the hold! Both men get to their feet. Poet throws some stiff jabs, which Northstar catches with his jaw. Poet bounces off the ropes and hits running DDT!! Cole: This has to be it! We're looking at a new 24/7 champion! Coach: Don't you ever listen? What did I just say about Northstar's endurance level? Nothing hurts him long enough to keep him down. Poet comes off the top with a moonsault! Pin attempt 1..2...kick out! Crowd: That was three! That was three! Poet ignores the crowds chant and goes for a Sharpshooter of his own! Flameout stretches himself into the ring and with Alix's help pulls Northstar to the ropes. The cheating doesn't phase Poet as he goes right for a double arm DDT! Pin attempt 1..2...kick out! Cole: This is ridiculous. I'm about to have a heart attack! Good gawd! Poet warms up the band! SUPER KICK! Reversed! Northstar catches Poet's foot, spins him around and hits a SUPER KICK of his own!!!!!! Pin attempt 1...2...3! Announcer: Your winner and still 24/7 champion.....NORTHSTAR! The Acolytes of Northstar pour into the ring to help their prestigious leader up. Cole: In my mind, the wrong guy won. But what a great match! Edge of your seat action all the way. Poet's back to his feet. He's staring a hole through Northstar, who's backed up by his posse. Poet walks forward and extends his hand towards Northstar! Cole: Is he crazy! Northstar's a rotten weasel with no redeemable personality traits. Northstar's face is overcome by his famous Cheshire cat grin. He grabs Poet's extended hand and raises his arm high into the air! The fans give this surprising show of respect a standing ovation! Northstar(whispering): You and Amanda aren't into swinging by any chance are you? Spider Poet: What?! Northstar: Joke! Just a joke dude! Coach: I think you owe a certain 24/7 champion an apology Cole: Shut up, I'm trying to eat crow! Coach: Good. While you find a plate, let's take a break. Cole: We're not obligated to do a commercial now, you can't just fade to black. Coach: Hey, my teeth are floating. I'm not about to soak myself on national TV so you can come up with a semi-witty schpiel on how bad you think Calvin Szechstein stinks. Cole: Hmph. I thought you were just dancing in your chair because you were feelin' the beat. Coach: No, it's the peepee dance Cole. And feel what beat! This is a wrestling show, not disco night at the bar! Cole: Fine, commerical time. We'll be back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 Backstage, Zack Malibu and Candie are standing off to the side, talking to road agent Rick Martel, Randy Savage, and various other OAOAST staff. The camera then pans to show someone standing behind Zack. It's CWM. Candie turns and notices first, and tugs on Zack's sleeve, getting him to notice. Zack:"Hey, CWM." CWM:"Zack." Zack:"What's up?" CWM:"You saw my match tonight, right?" Zack:"Yeah." CWM:"You heard what I said, right?" Zack:"Yep." CWM:"You know, it didn't have to come to this. You could've stopped it, but no. The high and mighty Malibu couldn't have been denied." Zack:"...what?" CWM:"You know what I mean, Zack. Have fun sending another star packing at the PPV. Just one less person that you'd have to worry about stealing your thunder, eh buddy?" CWM walks off, leaving Zack to ponder the reasons behind that encounter. Beam us back up to the announce booth, Scotty. MC:"What the hell was that all about?" Coach:"I'm not going to say CWM was ever...NORMAL...but what's he talking about? It seems like he's holding Zack responsible for something, but what?" MC:"I don't know, but given the ways of this sport of ours, I'm sure we're not far from finding out." Coach:"True 'dat, homeskillet." RING ANNOUNCER: The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the OaOast X-Title! The opening beats of Oh Hell Yeah blast through the arena as Peter Knight makes his way down the aisle, holding his Tag Team title belt high. COLE: Quite an opportunity for Knight tonight. This is not his first dance with the X-Title holder either. COACH: Whatever happened to that guy? Irritable bowel syndrome forced him into retirement? Knight slides into the ring and hits the corner with his belt, letting the flashbulbs pop before handing it off to the time keeper. His music fades and is replaced after a moment by Deceptacon, trumpeting the entrance of the champion. Ragdoll stops at the top of the ramp and spins around (a la Jericho), the X-Title over his shoulder. He takes Melanie’s hand and walks down the aisle, sizing up his opponent, who is pacing around the ring waiting for the bell. COLE: Ragdoll certainly has a big task ahead of him at Dirty Deeds, facing Mad Matt in a Stairway to Hell match. That is, if he can get by a very ticked off Peter Knight. COACH: What? All that happened was an Axel Slam on the floor. I did Heat one week with a broken freakin’ fingernail, and I didn’t whine. Ragdoll pauses at ringside and takes the cigarette out of his mouth, dropping it to the floor and stepping on it. Ragdoll hops onto the apron and Melanie starts climbing the steps, but Knight suddenly yanks Ragdoll over the top and into the ring. Melanie quickly takes the X-Title and retreats to the floor as the ref rings the bell. COLE: Knight doesn’t even want to wait for Ragdoll to get in the ring! COACH: He really needs to beat someone up, I guess. Knight pushes Ragdoll into the corner and pounds away so fiercely that the ref has to get in between and force a break. When Knight comes back, Ragdoll boots him in the gut and fires back with some punches of his own. Ragdoll whips Knight into the ropes, but Knight ducks a clothesline and comes back with one of his own that almost knocks the X-Champ out of his boots. Knight mounts him and pounds away. The ref begins the five count, but gets fed up and strains to pull Knight to his feet, warning a DQ if Knight won’t obey the ref’s orders. Ragdoll punches him in the gut a few times and follows up with a knee to the gut to slow Knight down. Ragdoll whips Knight into the ropes and hits a flying forearm. COLE: Here’s the first cover of the match: 1….2….no. He’s gotta do a lot better than that to take Knight out. Ragdoll sits Knight up, backs up, and delivers a dropkick to the back of the head. He covers again. 1….2….no. Ragdoll sends Knight face-first into the corner and delivers some STINGING chops to the chest. Knight whips Ragdoll to the ropes, but he springboards back with a dropkick to the face of Knight. He covers: 1….2…..ooh, Knight just kicks out. Ragdoll ducks a Knight punch and goes behind him, picking him up and dropping him to the mat with a backdrop suplex. Ragdoll hits a quick legdrop and heads to the outside. COACH: Ragdoll going for it all now. He climbs to the top and raises his arms to the crowd, wiggling his fingers before leaping off with a swanton bomb, but Knight rolls away at the last minute, sending Ragdoll crashing to the mat. Ragdoll gets up on wobbly legs, but turns around to a Knight boot to the stomach and into position for the Knightmare!! COLE: If this connects, new champion! Ragdoll wiggles like an earthworm to try and escape and manages to drop off Knight’s shoulders into a crucifix position. Ragdoll uses all the strength he has to try and pull him back into a pin attempt, but Knight hangs on and, instead of falling back, twists around a bit and drives Ragdoll headfirst into the mat!! That gets a big “OHHHHHH” from the fans. COACH: OH MY GOD! Ragdoll’s neck may be broken after that!! A replay is shown as Knight crawls over into a pin attempt. COLE: That is it, Ragdoll is not getting up now. Here’s the count: 1….2….….NO!!! HOW DID RAGDOLL KNOW WHERE HE WAS AFTER THAT! Knight pounds the mat with his hands and gets Ragdoll to his feet, but Ragdoll goes under Knight and picks him up in a spinebuster position, but instead he quickly snaps Knight’s throat on the top rope. COACH: Both men are down now. Very physical match this is. 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! Ragdoll props himself on his elbow and shakes the cobwebs out 6! 7! Ragdoll crawls to Knight 8! …closer…. 9! …and drapes an arm on his chest. COLE: Here’s the cover: 1….2…..NO!!!! Knight BARELY got his shoulder off the canvas! Melanie hops onto the apron to argue the ref’s count as both men stagger to their feet. Ragdoll starts quickly stomping his foot on the canvas as Knight gets upright and the ref orders Melanie off. As Ragdoll steps forward, Knight sees what is coming and drops to the canvas, right as the ref is turning around. The ref takes the kick flush in the mouth and flops over the top to the floor. Knight comes up from behind Ragdoll and rolls him up, but notices no referee in sight. Realizing what had happened; Knight goes to the ropes and looks over. COACH: Oh, man, Ragdoll almost knocked the ref’s head off with that Red Label. As Knight is preoccupied with the ref, Ragdoll spins him around and boots him in the gut, hooking his head. He runs to the corner, looking for the Sliced Bread #2, but as he runs up the turnbuckles and flips over, Knight positions himself so that Ragdoll ends up landing on his shoulders! COACH: Uh oh, he’s gonna try the Knightmare again! Suddenly, the crowd looks towards the entrance as they see someone running down. COLE: Waitaminit!! What’s Sly doing here? Sly slides into the ring, steel chair in his hand. Knight turns around and sees him, getting a foot up to try to boot the chair back in his face, but Sly slides underneath it, ending up behind Knight and jabbing the chair into his knee, causing Knight to drop Ragdoll and fall to one knee. Sly raises the chair and holds it against the back of Knight’s head, calling to Ragdoll. Ragdoll gets to one knee and slowly realizes what Sly wants. COLE: Oh no, he wouldn’t….. Ragdoll bounces against the ropes to get some momentum and delivers a Shining Wizard, kicking the chair right into Knight’s skull, the *crack* reverberating through the arena. Knight flops face-first to the canvas. COACH: CHAIR ASSISTED DEVIL DOLL!! Sly goes outside to retrieve the ref and slide him into the ring as Ragdoll disposes of the chair and covers. 1……. 2……. 3! COLE: Dammit, he stole that one! RA: Here is your winner, and STILL X-Champion, RAGDOLL!!!! Ragdoll retrieves his belt and Melanie, holding the back of his head while Sly smirks at the fallen Knight as we fade to black. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 (The camera catches Josh and Sly packing up their stuff after they've gotten dressed, and after Sly has just cost Peter Knight the OAOAST X Title...) JM: Man, I'm gonna miss you so much! SLY: We'll still be around each other. You'll just be an interview away, man! But, I did talk to Commissioner Moysey, and, he agreed that I need a new sidekick....(Josh starts tearing up)...don't worry, buddy! He'll never be able to replace you. But, I do need someone to watch my back when Totally Endorsed aren't around. So, next week, he's giving me air time to hold auditions for a new sidekick. And guess what? My fellow judge will be a guy who knows me better than me, a guy who epitomizes the word "sidekick"....YOU! JM: (starts crying tears of joy) Jeez, thanks, man! It'll be an honor! SLY: Plus, while we spend our final minutes together, I can announce my match for Dirty Deeds, and...trust me, Josh, at Dirty Deeds, Crystal will PAY for splitting up the Dynamic Duo! JM: Zack & Screech? SLY: NO! JM: Sly & Mark? SLY: NO! JM: PETE & PETE?!?!?!? That's low, splitting up brothers.... SLY: NO, NO, NO! You and me, remember...? JM: Oh, yeah! SLY: Trust me, she'll never forget the crimes she committed tonight, after what I do to her at Dirty Deeds. She just has to wait until next week to find out exactly what TYPE of match it will be! (Fade to black) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 "I'm The Bomb" hits, the crowd going MADLY IN ANGER as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion himself, Calvin Szechstein, steps out onto the entrance ramp, the belt draped over his left shoulder and his arms outstretched, crucifix-style underneath his FUBU jersey! He breaks out of his pose, strutting down the ramp and jawing with a couple of fans before sliding into the ring, beckoning to the ring crew for a microphone. COLE Well, Calvin didn't schedule any time at the beginning of the show, so we don't know why he's out here! COACH I think he came to say "YO~!" The ring attendant tosses Calvin a microphone, and he snatches it calmly, pacing around a little bit in anger before speaking. "I realize... I realize that I'm not you people's favorite wrestler." The crowd roars, much to the surprise of Szechstein, whose head snaps up, a look of rage on his face. He takes a deep breath, calming himself down before continuing... "I'll thank you to respect me, if not for my charming demeanor then for my World Heavyweight championship." This sets the crowd off, and they start a "CAL-VIN SUCKS!" chant, much to the champ's chagrin... however, Calvin waves it off, ignoring the people and looking up, continuing. "I understand your sentiments... I don't necessarily agree with them, I think you're dead wrong. My problem, however... my problem stems from people believing it." "I did not win this belt by chance, people. I won this belt through skill, and I won this belt through cunning, and not one of you can take that away from me! I beat Zack Malibu at his own game, by myself, without Dan Black. Without Axel. I don't need any of you sons of bitches, but I take you along for the ride because the more of us there are, the more powerful I get." "I appreciate what respect I'm shown - whether it's from Puerto Rican Lightning, or from Dan Black, or from whoever decides to give it to me. But I would like you all to know... every last one of you... I am a pet to no one. I won this title by leading my people. I am not going to retain this title by following someone's lead, I'm going to do it by leading." "I come out, IntenseZone, and I get involved in some heated words with Shooter Jay Darring. That's cool, he's a good enough guy, but he thinks that he can take me? Pitiful. So I'm going to just walk away, not allow him to chase after me, and Dan Black comes down to give me his support. And I appreciate that don't get me wrong, but when Stephen Joseph Popick -- who, mind you, is supposed to be retired -- comes out and tells me that I'm Dan Black's pet?" "I don't fucking think so." "I am a pet to no one. I am a leader, I am bold, I am the brand-new fucking era in this federation... and to be looked down on? That's a low blow, and I don't take kindly to low blows." "And then, we get back to heldDown - the House that Calvin Built - and Zack Malibu and Peter Cone are more important than me, all because Mr. Cone decided he wanted to retire? I'm sure that everyone in that locker room will come out here and give you verbal fellatio, Peter, but I will not lower myself to being one of them. I have NO respect for you, because you've never had this. You've never been the World Champion, Cone. You've never been anything more than a Tag champion, and yet you expect me to respect you? I don't care about your wife, I don't care about your Goblin, I care about winning, and Cone... you just don't do that." "So you know what? This is a warning, to every single person in that locker room. I may be laid-back, I may be a good guy, but do NOT cross me. Because I have this belt for a reason, people. Not luck... not the alignment of the stars... I won this belt on pure talent. And if you cross me... you'll find out what happens when you try to stop a revolution." "This is my fed now... and I'll be damned if I'm not the star." Fade to black... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 COACH What a statement by the World Champion! COLE As if actions don't speak enough. Folks, if you missed, Calvin Szechstein just gave his own rendition of a State of the Union, directed at the HeldDOWN~! locker room. COACH Having the championship already paints a bullseye on his back, but save for his running buddies in Totally Endorsed, I'm sure that more than one person back there has had their ire drawn. CWM, Zack Malibu, hell I'm sure Poet would like to retire with a title... COLE You also have to wonder, Coach, the real reason behind it. Calvin is a man of words, but he usually has something to back them up. There could be more to this than we're being told. COACH True 'dat. COLE Right now we have a match between Axel and The Parka. Last week Axel shocked everyone when he attacked the Dream Machines and joined Totally Endorsed. Now Parka wants revenge. COACH The Parka and I are pretty close friends and he told me backstage that he ready to hurt someone. COLE You’re friends with Parka? RING ANNOUNCER This match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first… CUE: California Love RING ANNOUNCER Coming to the ring, accompanied by Eddy Kalm, weighing in at 235 pounds, from San Diego, California, and one half of the Tag Team Champions, THE PARKA!!!! (The El Camino pulls out as the fans dance to the music. Parka makes the car bounce a few times before stepping out and making his way to the ring. Eddy follows close behind as Parka slaps hands with the fans. He then slides into the ring and poses on the turnbuckles as Eddy takes his place at ringside.) CUE: Breathe by Prodigy RING ANNOUNCER Coming to the ring, weighing in at 235 pounds, from Tasmania, Australia, AXEL!!!! (Axel makes his way out to a chorus of boos. He comes through the curtain instead of the crowd and quickly slides into the ring where he gets in Parka’s face.) COLE You could cut the tension with a knife. COACH That reminds me I bought this cool buck knife the other… COLE No one cares Coach. The ref steps in to make sure the two of them don’t start brawling before the bell and he even tells them the rules even though he doubts they’ll follow them. *DING DING DING* Parka and Axel lock up and Parka drives him back into the corner. The ref calls for a clean break so Parka backs off, but Axel reaches out and slaps him hard across the face. Parka answers back with a hard chop, but Axel just fires back with a chop of his own. Soon both men are chopping back and forth as the crowd cries out “whooo” with each one. Parka manages to block one of Axel’s chops and whips him to the ropes. As Axel bounces back Parka tosses him over with a Back Body Drop. Parka then tells Axel to bring it on as he reaches his feet. Axel and Parka lockup again and Parka hits a deep Armdrag. Axel manages to reach his feet and quickly comes back, but Parka hits a Dropkick that knocks him back down. Cover. One…No!! The crowd applauds Parka’s string of moves as Axel reaches his feet and comes in a little more slowly this time. The two men circle each other before locking up again. Parka goes for a Vertical Suplex, but Axel blocks it and hits a STO that catches Parka off guard. Cover. One…Two…No!!! COLE What a reversal by Axel! Parka wasn’t expecting such a high impact move and it might have knocked the wind out of him. COACH It was still just a two count! My bud Parka is still in this! COLE Your bud?? Axel wastes no time in pulling Parka up and quickly throwing him back down with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. He then pulls Parka into position near the corner and starts to climb to the top. Axel steadies himself on the top rope and dives off for a Top Rope Legdrop, but Parka moves out of the way! Parka then pulls himself to his feet and hits a quick Elbow Drop to Axel before stepping out onto the apron and hitting a Slingshot Senton Splash onto Axel. Cover. One…Two…No!! Parka pulls Axel to his feet and hooks him for a Snap Suplex, but once again Axel blocks it and hits a DDT. Instead of going for the pin Axel drags Parka by the leg to the center of the ring where he drops a couple of knees onto the leg. Parka yells out in pain as Axel strikes his leg with knee drops. Axel then, while continuing to hold the leg, pulls Parka to a standing position and then hits a Dragon Screw. COLE Could Axel be setting up the Axe Grinder? COACH Of course he is. Why else would he be doing that? Axel then goes for the Axe Grinder, but Parka quickly makes it to the ropes. The ref calls for the break, so Axel breaks by lifting Parka’s leg into the air and slamming it knee first onto the mat. Parka holds his knee in pain as Axel lifts Parka back up and goes for a Sitout Powerbomb, but at the last second Parka reverses with a Hurricanrana! The move causes pain in Parka’s leg, which keeps him from making the cover right away. After a few seconds Parka finally makes the cover. One…Two…No!!! Parka pulls Axel to his feet, whips him to the ropes, and hits a Clothesline. Parka then leaps into the air and comes crashing down with a Jumping Fist Drop. A quick cover by Parka only gets 2. Parka pulls Axel back up and goes for a Vertical Suplex, but Axel drops behind him and hits a German Suplex with a bridge! One…Two…No!! COLE It seems like no matter what Parka does Axel has an answer for it! COACH Oh yeah…does he have an answer for the square root of 394?? COLE ……. Axel waits in the corner for Parka to stand and when he does Axel comes running in with a hard Clothesline followed by hard stomping. Axel then pulls him up and whips him to the ropes. As Parka bounces back Axel hits a hard Back Elbow that sends him back down to the mat. Axel signals that it’s over and pulls Parka up into position for an Axel Slam, but Parka slips off his shoulders and catches his head on the way down for a Hangman’s Neckbreaker. The crowd erupts for Parka narrowly escaping Axel’s finisher. Parka slowly drapes an arm over him. One…Two…Thre..No!! Both men are slow to get to their feet, but once they do they start trading punches back and forth. Axel starts to punch harder and finally manages to stun Parka long enough to grab him and hit a Sitout Powerbomb! Cover. One…Two…Three..No!!! COLE Oh my God I thought that was it! COACH Well you thought wrong…as always. COLE Whatever. Axel pulls Parka back up and goes for the Axel Slam again, but once more Parka slips off. This time he slips forward and hits a quick DDT on Axel! Parka slowly gets back up and climbs to the second rope where he dives off for a Falling Elbow Drop. Parka starts to get his second wind and goes back to the second rope where he hits a Bret Hart-like Diving Elbow Smash. He then finishes it off with a Jumping Fist Drop to the head. Cover. One…Two…Three..No!!! Parka pulls Axel to his feet and goes for the Day of the Dead, but Axel slips off Parka’s shoulders and hits a Russian Leg Sweep on Parka. The fans boo as they were ready to see Parka win. Axel then climbs to the top rope and goes for the Top Rope Legdrop again, but again Parka moves at the last second and Axel hits hard on the mat. Both men are slow to get up as the ref starts his 10 count. 1…2…3…4…5…6…Parka starts to move…7…8…Parka drapes an arm over Axel. One…Two…Three..No!!! Parka slowly pulls Axel to his feet and goes for the Day of the Dead again, but Axel slips off and shoves Parka into the ref. The ref falls down as Axel slides to the outside and grabs something. COLE What’s that? COACH It’s a Baseball Bat!!! Axel goes to enter the ring, but he’s suddenly pulled back by Eddy! The crowd cheers for Eddy’s guts, but soon they realize he’s a deadman. Axel stalks Eddy around the ring with the bat and threatens to hit him with it, but suddenly Parka slingshots to the outside for a Plancha. On his way down Axel takes a swing with the bat and hits Parka squarely in the gut. The crowd gasps as Parka’s Plancha is cut short by a baseball bat shot. The ref sees it and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* RING ANNOUNCER Here's your winner by way of disqualification...THE PARKA!!!! Eddy jumps on Axel’s back, but Axel just Snapmares him over as PK comes running out from the back. PK clotheslines Axel out of his boots and begins stomping on him, but PK gets blindsided by a forearm shot from Colvid. The rest of TE come out and begin beating down on The Dream Machines as Axel picks the bat back up and makes a Crucifix Pose over the fallen bodies. COLE Dammit!! This isn’t right! COACH Get used to it Cole! Totally Endorsed is stronger than ever!! (Fade Out) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2003 PROPS: CWM Sly Calvin Parka PK Axel Northstar Zack Malibu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
