Kinetic 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 Dear Blog, Today was the most amazing day. I was walking to the library when I suddenly discovered an abandoned pair of pants. "Those pants are too big for you, you stupid asshole with an ugly face," I thought. But I picked them up anyway, because you can never have too many pairs of pants. So I hid in some nearby bushes and tried them on and, lo and behold, they fit perfectly. I'm totally wearing these pants to the Winter Formal. Whether or not I wear anything else remains to be seen. I also got to thinking about the status of my love life. It seems that for too long I've been putting too much emphasis on my romantic relationships or lack thereof. Like, for instance, as soon as I broke up with Christy I started macking on Lacey. And when she made it reasonably clear that she wouldn't be accepting my doo-dad into her hoo-ha any time in the near future, I immediately went out and nailed Jenny. So, ultimately, I think non-monogamy may be the answer for me. I mean, why tether myself to one relationship when I can be sleeping with dozens upon dozens of mildly attractive girls? I mean, regardless of who I'm dating, I'm going to be drinking heavily, right? So why not maximize my potential by sleeping with any old girl who happens to be around when I'm drunk? It's a perfect solution! Plus, I don't have to give a shit about any of these goddamn bitches. I don't have to sit around and wait for them to call, or wonder why they haven't called, or wonder why they haven't returned any of my calls or any of that shit. I can just do my thing and make certain that I'm happy with who I am and where I'm going. And if that doesn't work out, I'll take up heroin. I think I'd like to have sex with Diana Ross. Is it just me or does my penis sort of resemble Abraham Lincoln? I'm such a fucking genius. Why I am not famous yet? I mean, even locally. My goddamn gorgeous face should be plastered on every light pole and brick wall in this country-ass town. I'm so much cooler than Jascha. Psssh...Jasha. That asshole. Sincerely, Daniel James Gregory Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 Kinetic's blog sucks. Talk more about meeting chicks at Subway asshole. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Report post Posted September 19, 2003 hmmmm...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 Kinetic's blog sucks. Talk more about meeting chicks at Subway asshole. Man, that shit was seven months ago. Whatever lingering insecurities I had about high school girls has long since passed, thanks to the help of a student directory and about six bottles of sleeping pills. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 hmmmm...... Your wit and insight make this board what it is, Banky. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 What about college girls? Do you have insecurities there? Have you tried using money as a bait? Women will do a lot for merchandise. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 What about college girls? Do you have insecurities there? Have you tried using money as a bait? Women will do a lot for merchandise. Not really, no. It has a lot to do with the fact that I have it a lot more together now than I did when I was in high school, thus giving me the opportunity to hook up much more often. The fact that I'm not even in college currently makes the situation that much more satisfying. But high school girls....I still consider them the scourge of the earth. Their goddamn inane conversations, their fucking giggly-ass friends, their stupid tight pants, their fucking unsullied vaginas...God, I hate those bitches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 unsullied vaginas You like them loose and gritty huh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 You know me too well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 I mark for Kinetic's blog. "unsullied vaginas" is quite possibly the best way to describe these uptight high school girls that I'm surrounded with day in and day out. ....sluts. Or lack thereof. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest croweater Report post Posted September 19, 2003 "unsullied vaginas" is officially becoming my new phrase, it's a perfect description of half the girls in my class who are bible bashers................ I wonder how many times I can get slapped at uni tomorrow. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2003 Patrick Spoon There, first to sign the guestbook. Keep this shit up, I was looking at the Collected Works of Metal Ed right before I discovered this. Great timing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted September 19, 2003 Bloodfart. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Report post Posted September 19, 2003 hmmmm...... Your wit and insight make this board what it is, Banky. hmmmmmm...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Old Me Report post Posted September 19, 2003 Cockbiter. New Me's blog > Kinetic's blog Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
