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UWC TV Taping On-Site Report (8/26/2003)

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Guest TSMAdmin

UWC TV Taping On-Site Report (8/26/2003)

by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins


Last week, I promised you information on the Main Event Promotions shows that were to be starting weekly. Those will be taking place every Sunday begunning September 7 at the old Massillon (Ohio) Public Library (now known as "THE WrEsTlEpLeX") at 5:30pm. Tickets are 3 dollars. Of course, they do this just as I get a real job so I couldn't properly plan for it, but if you're in the area, you might want to check those out.


Anyway, onto the taping for this coming Sunday's edition of UWC Ripped. As always, taped the previous Tuesday from the Shamrock Nite Club in Barberton, Ohio, and spoilers galore in this one, so proceed at your own risk if you're able to see the show (Sundays at noon on channels 29 and 35 throughout northeast Ohio).


Dark match: ??? vs. ???


These are the same two guys who weren't introduced last week, and as usual, I forgot to ask for names until I was halfway home. I must remember to start doing that. Better than their match last week, but a similar result, as following the spear (last week's finish), the masked wrestler locks in a cobra clutch for the submission victory at 2:06.


Dark Match: Mike Smiley and Mardi Gras vs. The Four Henchmen {Rip Cripple and Vinn Wilder}


Mardi Gras simply hands his beads to a girl in the front row this week. Short but sweet, with the Henchmen team doing a fair amount of double teaming before Cripple pins Smiley with the Hamilton Elbow in 2:57.


We're just about ready for the actual taping to start, but first, broadcaster and local DJ Keith Kennedy asks for "Your Rolemodel" Ric Lieb to come to the stage. Apparently his birthday was this past weekend, so the broadcast team leads the crowd into a stirring rendition of "Happy Birthday". Luckily this wasn't taped, because those copyright charges are killer. But I think Sports Night said it best: "It took two people to write that song?"


Kano vs. "Your Rolemodel" Ric Lieb


Before the match, Lieb gets on the mic and asks why someone like him, who should be wrestling for World Championships, ends up wrestling the 7Up guy. Extended squash for Lieb, who goes through his usual offense, including using his trademark platters. He hoists Kano onto his shoulders, says "I like 7Up, but Sprite tasstes better anyway," then it's the 4H followed by the Rolemodel Clutch for the submission victory in 5:34. A bit long for what it was, but a good showcase of Lieb's skills. Postmatch, Timebomb Fred Potok hits the ring, and several people come out of the locker room to keep them separated.


Double Dragon and The Mean Green Machine vs. "High Impact" Bret Myers and Virus


For the sake of protecting what's left of kayfabe for those who are capable of seeing the show, I won't reveal the Machine's identity, but with his mask exposing way too much of his face it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Another match for the main purpose of showcasing Myers and Virus prior to Off the Hook on September 6, as Virus pins the Machine with a tornado DDT at 3:03.


Interview time, as Hollywood attempts to interview Sex Symbol Keith Young and the Inner Circle. The first take stops quickly as Hollywood struggles and asks if they can start over. Young cuts a killer promo when they start the second take, but says "Off the Hook's not this Saturday, but I wish it was this Saturday, because..." And before he goes too much further, he gets stopped, as when the show airs on Sunday, Off the Hook would be this Saturday for the TV audience. Things finally go smoothly with the third take as he hypes his men's matches for Off the Hook.


Non-Title Match: Long Ding Dong vs. Justin Dreams (UWC TV Champion)


Long Ding Dong is dressed in a ninja outfit and is billed from "Yomamasuki, Japan". Dreams decides to forgo the fan mail segment this week. A pretty decent match, as Dreams takes control early but takes his opponent lightly. This enables Long Ding Dong to take control of the match and pin Dreams with a flapjack at 4:09. Postmatch, Dong goes to the stage and unmasks to reveal Phattie Dattie, and he has his own piece of fanmail...from Justin Dreams. The letter basically says that Phattie Dattie owns Dreams. "P.S. Mom says hi."


We take some down time here to hype the lineup for Off the Hook at Akron's North High School on September 6 (and you can get the full lineup by going over to www.christhebrain.com and clicking the appropriate link), and then broadcaster and local DJ Dan Mason makes his way to the ring. Mason has started a petition to recall UWC President Bo Smirnow, and last I checked, four signatures were on it, including "Bulimia Babaganoosh". Smirnow comes out at Mason's request, and Mason apologizes for starting the recall and wants to be considered when Smirnow picks his official assistant on September 6. And to show he's sorry, he's brought gifts: a copy of the new Mandy Moore single, an autographed picture of American Idol runner-up Justin Guarini ("It says 'To Dan' but he meant Bo"), and an autographed 8x10 of American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson. Smirnow actually asks who those people are (overheard: "Give him some Yanni!") and tells Mason that he has the same opportunity that everybody else does who applies for the job.


It's time for Hollywood to interview UWC Heavyweight Champion Tack about his TLC match with John Potok at Off the Hook. Tack goes through his entire UWC history. He won the TV Title, he gave Danny Doring a run for his money, he won the first ever Sinful 7 Match, and then he won the tournament at Final Exam 2. Out comes "The Champ" John Potok to say that Tack didn't beat the best in the tournament because they didn't face each other, and the argument nearly turns into a brawl until referees and a few wrestlers come out to keep them separated.


TV Main Event: The Purple Hooter and Timebomb Fred Potok vs. Feature Presentation (w/Tim Shady)


One guy in the crowd really liked Mikey Showtime. I mean, you remember the guy in my last Ring of Honor on-site report (exclusive to www.thesmartmarks.com) who absolutely hated Scoot Andrews? This guy was at least that loud for Mikey Showtime. A pretty solid tag team match. Hooter makes the hot tag after drinking his Purple Juice (which I don't think anyone saw but me) and comes in a house of fire, but eventually the double teaming of Showtime and Atlantis is too much for him. Unknown runs in and attacks Feature Presentation (which gives them the DQ win at 4:49. Immediately out are Virus and Bret Myers, then Ric Lieb goes after Timebomb, and then it turns into a full roster brawl. Think old school pre-Survivor Series buildup here. Soon Tack sets a table up in the ring and calls out John Potok, who makes his way out. Feature Presentation jump Tack from behind and help Potok put Tack through the table with a Splash Mountain. Virus and Bret Myers finally come out for a save.


Now that the carnage is cleared out, Chef Meeker cuts a promo that may or may not be on the broadcast where he hypes the Hardcore Invitational at Off the Hook.


Post-taping Dark Match: "High Impact" Bret Myers and Tack (w/Virus) vs. "The Champ" John Potok and Unknown (w/Sex Symbol Keith Young)


The main story of this one is Potok tagging out everytime Tack is in the ring and able to defend himself. In fact, at no point in the match are they both legal at the same time. Tack at one point decides to hit Young with what looked like a toolbox for no apparent reason other than he was standing there. Myers pins Potok with a high cross body for the pin at 5:44.


Overall some pretty good stuff, as this was the final hard sell for the Off the Hook show coming up next weekend. Everything major for that show gets covered and built up, and there's some decent wrestling on top of it.


There is a taping next week, and from what I understand it will probably be mostly straight wrestling. You can't hype the big show as it will have already taken place, but you can't really build to the next big show without spoiling the show for the regulars in attendance.


I'm back at TSM with SmackDown about 24 hours from now, but in the meantime, e-mail me won't you?

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