Guest Goodear Report post Posted October 16, 2003 Make with the feedback you funky little bastards... EXCERPT... SEE THE SITE FOR THE REST And so the real movie begins as a bunch of meat shows up in Crystal Lake to set up camp for a while. You’ll happily notice that Ralph Wiggum is still wandering around town being all crazy and talking to Leprechauns that tell him to burn things. Sandra, Ted (the proud successor to annoying Ned from Part One), and some goober with a really bad hat named Jeff are the first to appear. Anyway it turns out that our campers aren’t going to be staying at the same camp as the last set, just on the same lake. But hey, it’s a big lake as you can see when they manage to jam an Ocean Liner on the thing and sail to New York in Part VIII. And so the meat is rapidly exposed to us including the fine ass Terry and crippled ass Mark. We are also introduced to Ginny, who is blond and therefor has a real chance of living and big boss Paul who is so much of a wiener that he makes Creepy Steve look like Elvis. We also establish that Ginny’s car doesn’t run very well… I wonder what that could mean? FORSHADOWING! Paul also gives us some back-story on Jason reprising the legend so the big retard actually lived through the drowning that pissed off his mom so much. I guess that’s okay since it lets us know that hey, he’s actually going to kill these people. Why? Because as we all know, legends are always true in the movies. There is also a dog in there somewhere, but it’s a little runty kick dog so I feel no attachment to it in the least. Which is sort of sad since I usually have more sympathy for animals than for people. I have to say these are really fun to write about which is a lot more than I can say about wrestling at the moment. Yet its fun to take a bit of a wreslting recap sensibility and apply it to other genres. Sure, these are as great as the 'Scott Keith'-style reviews of Transformers: The Movie but ... well ... this one has more killing. YEAH! I'll just shut up now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dynamite Kido Report post Posted October 16, 2003 I thought it was awesome....keep em comin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted October 16, 2003 Can't wait for my favorite, Jason Takes Manhattan. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted October 16, 2003 Free Preview of Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhatten. Julius = ********** Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted October 17, 2003 Good job on the movie review. Pretty entertaining stuff. I actually preferred pre-hockey mask and pre-zombie Jason. I'm glad they didn't forget about Alice and had her rotting corpse in Jason's Room of Victims. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 17, 2003 I liked it. J better not have done anything to the cat at the start of the movie (we never know for sure). And why in the heck would anyone take a dog like the one that was in the movie to a freaking camp? If that were me at the movie's beginning I would know something was wrong since all my cats would be hiding under the bed if Jason was hiding in my broom closet... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Black Tiger Report post Posted October 17, 2003 You're so right that Ted should have gotten off'ed, he got on my nerves almost as much as Shelly did in part III. The end of Part II was a dream. The opening to part III showed Jason pulling the machete out of his shoulder, but it was still in there when he jumped through the window at Ginny. Add 1/2* for Mark's death for that shot of his wheelchair rolling down the stairs, only could have been better if the chair tipped over and the corpse got tangled up in the chair. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dynamite Kido Report post Posted October 17, 2003 And why in the heck would anyone take a dog like the one that was in the movie to a freaking camp? TO KEEP THE SCENE ALIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted October 17, 2003 Add 1/2* for Mark's death for that shot of his wheelchair rolling down the stairs, only could have been better if the chair tipped over and the corpse got tangled up in the chair. Seriously the death would have worked so much more if he would have fallen out of the chair. The utter dissapointment of that not happening kept Mark at ***1/2. He was at four just for the lovely stick um they got on the clever toss, but damn it I desire the satisfaction for a cripply tumble. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Black Tiger Report post Posted October 25, 2003 I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO PAUL! They are in the middle of the woods without any phones. How exactly did the ambulance get there? Paul left Ginny somewhere safe (while she's dreaming about Jason jumping through the window, and that the stupid dog survived) while Paul takes off and calls the ambulance to the camp. Please tell me someone else has already reached this conclusion, I'd hate to think that in over 20 years this hasn't occured to somebody Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 25, 2003 But wasn't there that guy they left back in the bar? He could have driven to the camp, notice something is up with all the blood and bodies and gotten the po-po's... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
