OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 11/13/03

[Zack Malibu 0]

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

 

 

November 13, 2003

 

Lucy Woodward's "Trust Me (You Don't Wanna See This)" greets us yet again, seemingly taking Tommy Lee's "Hold Me Down" out of the traditional opening video. The rapid-fire video clips, ending with our esteemed General Manager standing triumphant, then segues into the arena...

 

 

Pyro EXPLODES~! Fireworks ERUPT~! Fans CHEER~! Signs are RAISED~!

 

It's OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

 

Calling the action as only they can are our hosts for the evening. One guy is dying to meet a boyband, while the other would settle for the groupies, we take you now to the plush area now being called "Sofa Central", where our commentators are...

 

 

Who else but MICHAEL COLE AND JONATHAN COACHMAN~!

 

COLE

What a night it's going to be, here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Hi everybody, I'm Michael Cole...

 

COACH

...and I'm the hostess with the mostess, DA COACH~! Whoo, don't hurt me now!

 

COLE

If you keep talking like that, someone is bound too.

 

COACH

Just cuz you ain't down doesn't mean you can put me down!

 

COLE

I'll tell Crystal about your doll collection.

 

COACH

For the last time, they are ACTION FIGURES! I...wait, uh uh, you ain't gonna drag me into a fight on the air. Tell 'em what's in store tonight, will ya?

 

COLE

You bet I will. Fans, the last few weeks here on HeldDOWN~! have been unpredictable to say the least. Since the arrival two weeks ago of CWM's allies, known as The Underground, our brand has been thrown into disarray. Add in the fact that our reknowned General Manager, Tim Moysey, has lost his powers to Northstar, and we've undergone quite a culture shock. Tonight, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! looks to bring some of that to a head, as Northstar has booked one hell of a main event.

 

COACH

That's right. Northstar has granted The Underground access to our show yet again. Some people say it's for ratings, others say he's in their pocket, but no one is really sure why. All we know is that Underground stars will be in action tonight, including our main event. CWM, the current 24/7 Champion, will tag up with Underground stars J. Arthur Edwards, Gunner Sharps, and The New Me to take on a team of HeldDOWN~! representatives.

 

COLE

What a team that is. In order to protect his "investment" as he calls it in the Elimination Chamber matchup at the upcoming PPV, Northstar has taken OAOAST World Champion Calvin Szechstein, former X Champion Ragdoll, and the Female Phenom Crystal and made them a part of Zack Malibu's Team Malibu here tonight!

 

COACH

There is a lot to be said about that team. Zack and Calvin have had wars for months now. Crystal just lost a close one to Calvin, nearly becoming the first female World Champion in history. As for Ragdoll, well, what else needs to be said about a man who will turn on you at the drop of a hat. He betrayed his own flesh and blood!

 

COLE

It's an interesting situation to say the least, but this is a time where we can't put our own interests on top, and we have to make brand unity a priority. We're dealing with another brand as competition, putting us through a ratings war, and now an invading force led by a man who knows the ins and outs of this company very well. It's a highly volatile situation.

 

COACH

You got that right.

 

COLE

Also tonight, Jacob Lyne, an impressive newcomer who is also known to affiliate with The Underground will take part in a four way dance. His opponents? Brock Ausstin, Panther, and a man making his in-ring debut after weeks of hype, Sturgis.

 

COACH

I'll give it to the Lyne kid, he gets mad props from me. Sturgis, can't say I know where he stands, because I'm not even sure if he knows. And Panther and Brock have been ripping it up here the last few weeks.

 

COLE

It's going to be a hell of a show, and I'm going to lose my voice just hyping it up, so let's get to the ring and kick things off, here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

[Zack Malibu 0]

::"State Prop (You Know Us)" by State Property hits the PA system, and the crowd begins to cheer as the arena slowly fades to black. Suddenly...*BOOM*...the arena is rocked by a HUGE pyro blast, and flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena, roaming the crowd for a brief moment before converging on the entrance, where Panther and Tina appear in a thick cloud of smoke. Wearing a tan and white sweater with matching knit cap, loose-fitting black jeans, tan boots and black sunglasses, Panther stands at the top of the aisle soaking up the cheers from the crowd before raising his right fist into the air and starting down the aisle towards ringside.::

 

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, we're just about ready for a 4 way dance! It'll be this man, Panther, going up against not only "The Current Big Thing" Brock Ausstin, not only the newcomer, Sturgis, but we now know that he'll be facing the UGW's blue-chipper! A man who made quite an impression last week against the OAOAST World Champion, Calvin Szechstein, the "Role Model" Jacob Lyne!

 

Coach: Yeah, but peep Panther's gear, Michael! I know he's not about to wrestle in that, is he?!

 

Cole: Well...Panther not in his usual wrestling attire. Of course, last week, this man took a tremendous beating at the hands of Brock Ausstin! It was absolutely brutal, Coach! I mean...Ausstin launched Panther into the ringpost not once, but twice!

 

Coach: I remember, Cole! I remember!

 

Cole: And you can bet your bottom dollar that Panther remembers as well, and right here tonight, you know that the self-proclaimed "Champion of Champions" wants a piece of Brock Ausstin's ass.

 

::By now, Panther is making his way up the ring stairs and onto the apron, where Tina (wearing a red and white "Superwoman" baby-tee, red leather pants and black boots), holds the ropes open for him. Panther winches in pain as he steps through the ropes, and as he walks towards the center of the ring, he signals for the tech crew to cut his music. Tina grabs a mic from the ring announcer as the music dies down and the arena lights return to normal, and she hands it to Panther, who looks around the arena as small chants of "Panther, Panther" start up in the background. He slowly raises the mic to his lips, takes a deep breath, and says...

 

Panther: HD~!

 

::The crowd pops in the background, but Panther raises a hand to quiet them down. He continues::

 

Panther: You know...tonight, I'm scheduled to take part in this little 4-way match, against Sturgis, this Jacob Lyne guy, and Brock Ausstin. And make no mistake about it, after what went down on this show last week...after what Ausstin did to me, there is NOTHING I would love more than to drag his big ass down to this ring right now and give him the beating of a lifetime! To show each and every last one of you the true meaning of a First Class, Genuine, Grade A, Champion of Champions-style ass whooping! (mild pop from the crowd) Yeah...but unfortunately, that can't happen.

::The crowd boos as Panther reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope. He unfolds it, pulls out a sheet of paper, and holds it up for the world to see::

 

Panther: What I have right here...unfortunately, is a letter from my doctor, who, because of rib injuries I sustained last week, is forbidding me from stepping into the ring tonight. (Crowd boos) Yeah, I know. I know, but lemme make one thing perfectly clear. Brock Ausstin...don't think for one single solitary second that I'm done with your ass! Oh no! Last week was just the beginning for me and you!

 

(chuckles) See...I dunno when...I dunno where, but Brock, you had damn sure better believe that by hook or by crook, come hell or high water, I WILL get even your ass. And you can call it a guarantee...call it a promise...I really don't give a damn! But before all is said and done, Brock, you and the entire world will know that it's the fucking TRUTH!

 

::The crowd gives a mixture of cheers and boos as Panther drops the mic and walks over to Tina. The two begin talking, when suddenly...

 

???: TRUTH?!?!?!?!? TRUTH?!?!?!?!

 

Cole: What the...what the hell?!?!

 

::Panther and Tina look around the arena in bewilderment as a loud, familiar voice booms over the PA system.

 

Suddenly, the crowd begins to boo in the background as

 

"Good Ol EC'Dub" Rick Heyross, Brock Ausstin's manager, steps out from the locker room with a huge smile on his face and a mic in his hand. In the ring, Panther and Tina look on, somewhat annoyed as Heyross makes his way down to the ring::

 

Heyross: (still walking towards the ring) Truth?! (laughs) Panther...you want the TRUTH?! Well THE TRUTH is that you, my friend, are a low down, gutless, COWARD!!!!!!!!!

::The crowd boos as Heyross reaches the ringside area. Panther eyes Heyross intensely from the ring, as the manager begins to climb up the ring stairs and onto the apron.::

 

Heyross: That's right Panther...you're a coward!!! See, you

didn't back out of tonight's match because of a little rib injury! No! You backed out for one reason and one reason only, and it's because you FEAR Brock Ausstin!!!!!!

::More boos from the crowd as Heyross steps through the ropes and into the ring. Chants of "You suck, you suck" begin to break out in the crowd as Heyross approaches Panther and Tina::

 

Heyross: Oh, c'mon, Panther! Admit it! It's bad enough that you're a coward! No need to be a liar as well! I mean...let's face facts! Last week, you found out first hand just how destructive Brock can be, and it scared you to death, because you realized that no matter what you say, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself, you will NEVER be a match for the Current Big Thing! Ya hear me you son of a bitch?!?!? (Panther turns towards the crowd) I said did you hear me?!...HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!!!!!

 

:: Suddenly, Heyross rears back and slaps Panther in the chest, drawing "oohs" and "ahhs" from the crowd. Angered, Panther advances on Heyross, causing him to backpedal into the nearby corner. However, Tina steps in before Panther is able to do anything, and the crowd boos loudly as Tina ushers him across the ring and away from the cowering Heyross. As Panther and Tina argue over by the far side ropes, Heyross raises the mic once again, with a demented smile on his face::

 

Heyross: Well I'll be damned! Panther, you amaze me more and more by the minute. I mean...faking an injury to get out of a match...that's low, but for you to come out here and blatantly hide behind your girlfriend, to hide behind a woman...that's not just cowardly...damn it, it's downright unmanly!!! (crowd boos) What kind of a man are you?! What kind--

 

::Heyross again cowers in the corner as Panther makes a lunge for him, but Tina again stops him, grabbing him by the waist and pushing him up against the ropes to calm him down.::

 

Cole: I can't believe this folks! We've got Heyross, Brock Ausstin's manager out here trying to goad Panther...and Tina's holding him back.

 

Coach: Yeah, because she knows Panther's no match for Good Ol EC'Dub. I bet Heyross could take him, Michael.

 

::As Panther and Tina argue along the ropes, Heyross walks out to the center of the ring, again with a smile on his face.::

 

Heyross: Ya know Panther...you truly are a disgrace to men everywhere! I am ashamed to even breathe the same air as you! You're worthless...but you...Tina...

 

::Tina turns towards Heyross, who's smiling in her direction.::

 

Heyross: You know...if there's one thing I've always admired...it's a strong woman. (winks at Tina)

 

Cole: You've gotta be kidding me!

 

Heyross: Oh yeah! I see that hungry look in your eyes, Tina. It's obvious that you aren't being satisfied. You're frustrated! You're tired of babysitting this poor excuse for a man! Well Tina...don't worry. You don't have to suffer for much longer...because your satisfaction has arrived!!!!!!!

 

(crowd boos)

 

::Heyross raises his arms into the air and begins to girate for Tina, drawing a mixture of boos and laughter from the crowd. Meanwhile, Tina struggles to hold back Panther::

 

Cole: This is sick!

 

Coach: Maybe you should take notes on this, Michael. You could learn a thing or two from Rick. This man is Pimpin'!

 

Heyross: That's right, Tina. Unlike Panther, Rick Heyross is ALL man, and right now, I'm giving you the opportunity of a lifetime. I'm offering you a chance to drop that putz...that loser, Panther, and come to a real man like me! And with me, Tina, I can promise that you'll experience pleasure like you've never experienced before. How about it?!

 

Cole: This Rick Heyross is absolutely sick! I cannot believe that this man would stoop as low as to proposition Tina right in front of Panther...

 

Coach: And look at this, Cole! I think she's going for it!!!

 

Cole: What?!

 

:: Indeed, Tina seems to be someone intrigued by Heyross' proposition, as she flashes a smile in Heyross's direction. Suddenly, she shoves Panther back into a corner and walks out towards the center of the ring, where she goes face to face with Heyross. The two exchange pleasantries, much to Panther's bewilderment, before Tina gets down on her knees and...

 

Cole: Oh...my...God!

 

Coach: Can you believe that game, Michael?! Can you believe Rick's game?!

 

Cole: Don't tell me that Tina's actually gonna...she's not...

Coach: Right here in the ring! This is so great--HEY!!!!!!!!!!!

 

...the crowd pops as Tina nails Heyross with a HARD uppercut to the groin! He falls to the mat clutching the injured area as Tina pops back to her feet, shouting obscenities in his direction. Heyross rolls over onto his stomach, and scrambles towards the ropes in an effort to escape, but is cut off by Panther, who grabs him by his hair and pulls him back to his feet. Heyross pleads with Panther to let him go, but it's no use, as Panther backs him into the ropes and Irish whips him into a waiting Tina, who catches with a boot to the midsection before dropping him with the DDTina! The crowd cheers as Tina pops back to her feet once again, and poses for the main camera. But there's no time to celebrate, because...

 

Cole: WAIT A MINUTE!

 

Coach: IT'S AUSSTIN!!!!!!!!

 

...INDEEEEEEEEED!!! Brock Ausstin sprints down to ringside. Before Panther is able to spot him, Brock reaches into the ring and drags Panther out to the floor. Panther tries to fight back, firing off a couple of right hands to the head of the Current Big Thing, but Brock quickly scoops him up into a powerslam position, and turns to the ringpost with evil intentions. Panther flings his arms and legs in a vain attempt to escape Brock's grasp, as Brock runs at full spreed and drives Panther HARD into the ringpost!!!!!

 

Cole: DAMN IT!!!! I can't believe Ausstin just did that!

 

Panther's already coming into this thing with injured ribs...

 

Coach: He's gonna do it again!

 

Cole: No!!! Damn it, Brock! NO!

 

*WHAM* Brock once again drives Panther's ribs into the post, then drops the injured wrestler nonchalantly onto the arena floor. Brock glares intensely at Panther's fallen body, unleashing the dreaded *HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~!* (to a slight crowd pop) before turning towards the ring, where Tina has just spotted the happenings on the floor.

 

Cole: We need some help for Panther here...and now...don't tell me this sick son of a bitch...he's not gonna go after Tina, is he?!

 

Oh, but he is! The "Superwoman" stands in the ring like a deer caught in headlights as Brock makes a vertical leap onto the apron, and steps into the ring. He advances on Tina, and the crowd boos as he begins to back her down into the ropes. Tina's trapped, with nowhere to go as Brock grabs her by the hair and yanks her out towards the center of the ring. He rears back as if he's about to strike her, but just as things are beginning to look bleak for her...

 

...JACOB LYNE~! hits the ring and clips Brock's left knee taking him down. Jacob wastes no time in going after Ausstin, repeatedly stomping away upon him as a relieved Tina slips out to the floor to attend to Panther, who's already being looked after by a host of officials.

Cole: Jacob Lyne is all over Brock Ausstin here, folks! And I dunno what his intentions were...whether he did it to help Tina or whether he did it in order to get the upper hand in this...what I guess is now a 3-way, but whatever the case may be, thank God he arrived when he did!

 

In the ring, the referee backs Lyne off Brock, allowing the stunned monster to scramble back to his feet. Brock swings wildly in Lyne's direction, missing with a clothesline, allowing Lyne to slip under and catch him on the jaw with a HIGH-ELEVATION DROPKICK!!!! Brock staggers, but doesn't leave his feet! Lyne nails him with another dropkick! This one sends Brock into the ropes...but the big man still won't go down! Lyne signals to the crowd, pumping his right fist into the air, then pointing at Ausstin, who's still trying to shake off the effects of the two dropkicks. Lyne hits off the ropes and charges at Ausstin...managing to duck another clothesline attempt from the Current Big Thing. Lyne hits off the other side and comes at Ausstin again, this time ducking a reverse elbow attempt. Back to the other side, Lyne hits off the ropes one more time, and leaps into the air...

 

Cole: HIGH CROSS BODY BY LYNE...OH MY, HE GOT CAUGHT!!!!!!!!!

 

...yeah, what he said. Brock catches Lyne in mid-air, and carries him out towards the center of the ring like a baby, and as Panther is helped back to the locker room in the background, Brock lifts Lyne up and DRIVES HE DOWN ACROSS THE KNEE WITH A VICIOUS BACKBREAKER!!!!!

 

Brock holds on though, and lifts him up a second time...briefly walking around the ring with his opponent before DRIVING HIM DOWN with another backbreaker! BUT DAMN IT, HE'S NOT DONE!!!!!!!! He lifts Lyne's carcass one more time, and begins circling the ring with his limp body. Then, in an impressive display of strength, Brock lifts Lyne high into the air...almost into a military press position. He holds him up there for a while...making him thing about it...then *CRUNCH*...HE DRIVES HIM DOWN across the knee with a third and final backbreaker! Lyne quivers on the mat, holding his damaged back as the awesome Brock stands over him. Brock then reaches down and grabs Lyne by the neck, using his short cropped hair to pull the UGW star to his feet. Then, Brock buries a swift knee lift into the gut of Lyne, then flings him through the ropes, and...*splat*...out onto the cold, hard padding of the arena floor.

 

Cole: This man is a beast!!!!

 

Coach: No kidding! I don't think there's anyone in the OAOAST that can stop Brock Ausstin!

 

::Suddenly, the arena lights drop, and "Little Crazy" by Fight hits the PA system. The crowd clamors, not knowing quite what to expect, as a bright red spotlight shines upon the entrance. A figure emerges from the locker room, wearing a black leather trenchcoat and a black, demolition-like mask on his face...

 

Cole: IT'S STURGIS!!!!!!!!!!

 

...astute observation by the #1 PBP man in the game. The camera briefly focuses on the ring, where Brock is motioning for Sturgis to "BRING IT, BROTHER!" before cutting back to the entrance, where Sturgis begins his walk towards the ring. Halfway down the aisle, Sturgis peels out of his trenchcoat, then removes his mask. Before he can get to the ring, however, Brock hops to the floor and rushes him with a clubbing forearm! Sturgis fires back with an uppercut and a forearm shot of his own, and the two engage in a slugfest on the arena floor!

 

Cole: STURGIS AND AUSSTIN! STURGIS AND AUSSTIN! STURGIS AND AUSSTIN!

 

Coach: Calm down, Michael! You're getting worse than J.R.!

The two men continue slugging it out on the floor, not noticing Jacob Lyne, who has rolled back into the ring. Sturgis blocks and Ausstin right hand and fires off a knee to the gut of the Current Big Thing!!!! AND ANOTHER!!!! Clubbing forearm shot to the top of the head! Then, Sturgis drags Brock over the the barricade, and SLAMS his head into it, causing Brock to stagger backwards and fall flat on his back! Sturgis throws a double fist into the air, celebrating a bit prematurely in the aisle...again, not noticing Jacob Lyne, who hits off the far rope, darts across the ring and takes to the skies with a RUNNING TWISTING PLANCHA to the outside, and onto the unsuspecting Sturgis!!!!!!!!

 

Cole: What a move by Lyne!!!!!

 

There's a mixture or cheers and boos (mostly cheers) as Lyne hops back to his feet, and nails Ausstin with a HARD kick to the face before grabbing Strugis by the hair and muscling him into the ring. Lyne then hops to the apron, and quickly climbs to the top rope. Sturgis quickly climbs to his feet, but is floored with a TREMENDOUS missile dropkick as soon as he stands up. Lyne with a cover...hook of the leg...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cole: WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!

 

...just before the official's hand could strike the mat for the third and final time, that NO GOOD BASTARD Brock Ausstin grabs Lyne's right foot and yanks him out to the arena floor! DAMN HIM! DAMN HIM! DAMN HIS SOUL!!!!!!

 

Sorry, got carried away there. Ahem. Brock scoops Lyne up over is shoulder, preparing to dart he youngster headfirst into ringpost. He starts towards the post, but just before impact, Lyne is able to wiggle free and shove Brock Ausstin shoulder first into the steel stairs!

 

Cole: OH! What impact there as Brock Ausstin hit the steel stairs!

 

Coach: Yeah! I asked if anyone had what it takes to defeat Brock Ausstin, well we may have gotten our answer right there!

 

Cole: Watch Lyne! It looks like he's going back up top!

Lyne again climbs onto the apron and quickly ascends the turnbuckles, where he measures Sturgis, who's once again trying to get back to his feet. When Sturgis reaches his feet, Lyne once again leaps into the air...

 

And dives right into the huge right hand of Sturgis!!!!!

 

Coach: Uh oh!

 

Cole: Yeah, uh oh is right! Jacob Lyne dove right into that goozle by Sturgis, and things aren't looking to good for the blue-chipper here!

 

With a smile on his face, Sturgis lifts Lyne high into the air, and DRIVES HIM TO THE MAT with an INCREDIBLE CHOKESLAM!!!!!!!!!!!! That could be all! Lateral press by

Sturgis...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Cole: NO!!!!!! Lyne just able to get the shoulder up before the count of 3!!!!!

 

Coach: Maybe if he'd hooked the leg he would've got him!

 

Cole: Perhaps the inexperience of Sturgis coming into play!

 

Sturgis sits Lyne up on the mat, with Lyne's back facing him. He takes a couple of steps back, measures the Role Model, and kicks him HARD in the small of the back, causing Lyne to scream in pain! Sturgis then yanks back on Lyne's hair with his left hand, talking trash to him before blasting him with a vicious crossface blow! And another one. Then, he hooks Lyne's head and neck under his right arm, hooks Lyne's left arm with his left, and applies a dragon sleeper. With his knee planted into Lyne's back, Sturgis leans back as far as possible as the referee checks to see whether or not Lyne will submit. We get a close-up of Sturgis's face, which is etched with intensity as he applies more pressure to the hold. Then, Sturgis stands up with the dragon sleeper still applied, yanking the seemingly helpless back to his feet. As the crowd begins to stomp and cheer in the background, Lyne swings his free arm wildly in a desperate attempt to find an escape. Suddenly, Sturgis releases Lyne's left arm, and, using his free hand, delivers a hard shot into the chest of his opponent. A second chest shot by Sturgis echoes throughout the arena, as he tightens his grip on the dragon sleeper.

 

Cole: Jacob Lyne is in quite a bit of trouble here!

 

Coach: And I think he's fading, Michael! He's going out!

 

Lyne's arms drop down to his side, his legs become rubbery, and his body almost limp. The official is right there to check

the arms. He raises Lyne's right hand once...

 

 

 

 

...it drops!!!

 

 

 

 

He raises it a second time...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...IT STAYS UP!!! The crowd begins clapping in the background as Jacob Lyne suddenly springs to life, pressing his feet up against the top rope and pushing backward, using his momentum to drive the big man to the mat. The hold is now broken, and Lyne begins firing off piston-like rights to the head of the fallen Sturgis before hitting off the ropes and catching him right in the face with a basement dropkick! Cover by Lyne...

 

...1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cole: NO! Just a two!!!!!!!!!

 

Lyne lets loose a deep sigh as he climbs back to his feet, and waits for Sturgis to get back up. Sturgis does...slowly, still feeling the effects of Lyne's dropkick, and when he reaches his feet, Lyne catches him with a hard boot to the midsection. He follows up with a right hand. Irish whip attempt is reversed by Sturgis, sending Lyne crashing backfirst into the turnbuckle. Sturgis attempts to follow him in with an avalanche, but...

 

Cole: OH MY!!!!! HE MOVED!!!!!!

 

 

...Lyne is able to side step him, and the big man gets nothing but buckle. Lyne quickly seizes the opportunity, bouncing off the ropes yet again, this time to deliver and beautifully executed reverse neckbreaker, which puts Sturgis flat on his back. With the match firmly in hand, Lyne springs to his feet and plays to the crowd...unaware of the danger that lurks behind him.

 

Cole: Lyne's got this thing in control, but watch Ausstin!!!

 

Lyne doesn't see Brock Ausstin...

 

*Lyne turns and spots Brock*

 

Coach: Now he does--

 

*WHAM*

 

Coach: And now he won't be seeing much of anything!

 

Brock runs at full speed and turns Lyne inside out with a clothesline. The crowd boos in the background as Brock stomps the fallen rookie hard to the back of the head before turning to Sturgis, who's getting up after the neckbreaker. Brock lets loose a wild battle cry before charging shoulder first at Sturgis, spearing him back into the turnbuckles, where he repeatedly drives his shoulder hard into the man's midsection. Again, and again and again! Sturgis slumps down in the corner in a crumpled heap as Brock glares menacingly into the crowd. Suddenly...

 

Cole: Watch Lyne! Lyne from behind!

 

...Jacob Lyne leaps onto Brock's shoulders, as if he were attempting a victory roll on Ausstin. As Brock struggles to keep his balance, Lyne begins firing off rapid-fire right hands to his forehead. But just when it looks as if Brock may go down, he suddenly turns Lyne around into powerbomb position and DRIVES him into the mat!!! Brock holds on though, muscling the smaller wrestler back up into the air, and driving him down with a second powerbomb!!! He lifts Lyne again, and, parading him around the ring as if he were some sort of trophy before turning towards the main camera and folding him up with a third powerbomb!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Cole: My God!!! Coach, this man is an absolute monster!

 

Sturgis uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet, and comes at Brock with an attempted double axehandle but is met with a swift kick to the midsection from the Current Big Thing. Then, Brock lifts Sturgis into Fireman's Carry position, and the crowd clamors, sensing that we're just moments away from the end. Brock then turns around to face the crowd, before spinning Sturgis around on his shoulder, flattening him with the dreaded...

 

Cole: F-STUNNER-5!!!!!!!!!!!!! F-STUNNER-5!!!!!!!!!!

 

Coach: That's all!

 

Sturgis is down, and the crowd boos loudly as Brock Ausstin springs back to his feet. Just then, a dazed Jacob Lyne stumbles into Brock's huge shoulder, and catches a boot to the midsection for his trouble. Brock then lifts Lyne up into a fireman's carry, and again twirls him around for the world to see. Once again, he turns towards the main camera, and in another swift movement, spins Lyne off his shoulders with yet another dreaded...

 

Cole: F-STUNNER-5!!!!!!! Lyne is down! Sturgis is down!!!

 

Brock Ausstin is standing tall!

 

The crowd boos wildly in the background, as Brock towers above his fallen opponents, just seconds away from victory. Suddenly, there's commotion in the crowd, as fans turn there attention to the entrance. The camera cuts to the aisle, where we see Tina and a host of officials wrestling with

someone...

 

Coach: Michael...what...what's going on?!

 

Cole: Is that...?! That's Panther!!! Panther's trying to make his way back down to ringside!!!!

 

Coach: Is he crazy?!

 

As Brock Ausstin turns his attention to the aisle, Panther (who's now shirtless with white medical tape around his rib cage) attempts to run down to the ring, but is wrestled to the ground, as Tina pleads with him to return to the locker room for further treatment. In the ring, Brock laughs, and motions for Panther to "Bring It". At that moment, Panther suddenly breaks free from the officials' grasp and storms the ringside area. The officials rush after him as Panther lunges for the middle rope, using it to pull himself onto the ring apron. Wasting no time, Brock sprints towards the ropes and nails Panther with a hard right hand, causing him to fall down on top of the officials.

 

Coach: HAHA! This guy must never get tired of getting his ass kicked!!!

 

The crowd boos as the referee attempts to back Brock away from the ropes. Brock obeys the ref's commands, but makes sure to keep an eye on Panther on the floor as he backs out towards the center of the ring...AND RIGHT INTO A SCHOOL BOY BY STURGIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cole: THR--NO SIR!!!!!!!!! JUST A TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Brock rolls back onto his knees, and nails Sturgis with a hard right hand to the top of the head. Sturgis responds with a weaker blow to the jaw, but Brock continues his onslaught, repeatedly raining right hands onto Sturgis' head before springing back to a standing position, and flooring him with a big boot to the face. Suddenly, the crowd begins to cheer, as Panther has made his way back to the ring apron once again.

 

Coach: Now...what the hell is wrong with this idiot?!

Somebody get him outta here!

 

Cole: Panther wants Brock in the worst way!

 

Coach: What he wants is a premature funeral!

 

The officials desperately try to yank Panther from the ring apron, but his left hand is tightly gripped on the top rope. Determined to get rid of Panther once and for all, Brock again walks over towards to ropes where Panther is standing. This time, however, when he rears back to strike Panther, Panther swiftly swings his right arm over the top rope and nails Brock right in the head with a lead pipe!!!!!!!!!!

 

Coach: NO!

 

Cole: My God did you hear that shot?! Brock is hurt! Brock is hurt!

 

Brock staggers out towards the center of the ring...taking wild swings at the air...nearly striking the official with his last swing. Suddenly, a rejuvinated Sturgis approaches Brock and doubles him over with a boot to the midsection. The crowd comes to its feet as Sturgis tucks Brock's head in between his legs and underhooks his arms. Then, after scouring the arena for a moment, Sturgis turns Brock upside down and drives him HARD into the mat with...

 

Cole: WHAT A SUPLEX BY STURGIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

...actually, it's the Tiger Driver '91!!!!!!!!!! BROCK IS

DOWN!!!! Sturgis with the cover...he hooks the leg...the ref gets down for the count...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

Announcer: Brock Ausstin has been eliminated!!!!!!!!

 

Cole: Sturgis has just defeated "The Current Big Thing" Brock Ausstin!

 

Coach: PUCKY!!!!!!!!

 

Cole:...what?!

 

Coach: This is all that damn Panther's fault! He dropped out of the match! He never should've been out here...look at that idiot!

 

Having done his damage, Panther hopes down from the ring apron, where Tina and the officials await him. Panther reluctantly starts back towards the dressing room, pointing the pipe in Brock's direction before heading back up the aisle to a good-sized pop from the crowd.

 

COLE:

And now we're down to Sturgis and Jacob Lyne...two of the hottest talents to come down the pike on this show in a whie. One representing OAOAST, one representing UGW, this is gonna be interesting.

 

 

Sturgis and Lyne star at each other, then at the crowd, they starting clapping, and the fans start to clap along!

 

COACH:

They're on their feet for this one!

 

 

Lyne makes the first move, charging in with a spinkick- Sturgis ducks, grabs Lyne's arm and CLOCKS him with a short-arm clothesline! On instinct, Lyne gets back to his feet, and Sturgis nails Lyne in the face with a hard right hand. Irish whip by Sturgis, Jacob hits the ropes Sturgis tries another clothesline, ducked by Lyne, and he hits a cartwheel kick on the rebound!

 

COLE:

Incredible athleticism by the Role Model!

 

Lyne hits the ropes again and delivers a SOMERSAULT legdrop to the downed Sturgis' neck, to a POP!

 

COACH:

There's a cover!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

COACH:

These men have both endured a horrific beating, and somehow Sturgis had the strength and the guts to kick out of that move!

 

Lyne makes a twirling motion with his hands, and hits the ropes again as Sturgis gets up. Lyne springs off the second rope with a crossbody-

 

CAUGHT BY STURGIS!

 

 

COLE:

Jacob Lyne is in BIG TROUBLE HERE!

 

Sturgis turns it into a vertical suplex position, and DRIVES Lyne down with a HIGH IMPACT FALCON ARROW!

 

COACH:

Sturgis is such an impressive big man, he just crushed Jacob Lyne with that move, why isn't he covering?

 

COLE:

Because he's got something else planned!

 

Sturgis gets up and points to his elbow.

 

COACH:

I getcha- THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MOVE IN E-FED ENTERTAINMENT!

 

Sturgis makes a "sprinkling" motion with his arms, jumps over Lyne, hits the ropes....AND DROPS THE FAT MAN'S SPRINKLER ELBOW!

 

COLE:

This CROWD IS GOING BALLISTIC! There's a cover.

 

The crowd counts along...

 

 

1!

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOULDER UP!

 

 

COLE:

I don't believe it. I thought that was it! Everybody in the crowd thought that was it!

 

Sturgis doesn't seem bothered, and he points to the turnbuckle.

 

COACH:

He can fly too? Wow!

 

COACH:

Looks like he's going for the Sturgis Sault!

 

Sturgis climbs the turnbuckles, looking for that deadly moonsault.

 

 

BUT LYNE KIPS UP AND RUNS UP TO THE ROPES TO CATCH HIM!

 

 

REVERSE FRANKENSTEINER! STURGIS BACKFLIPS AND LANDS HARD ON HIS FACE!

 

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

 

 

COACH:

I'M WITH THESE PEOPLE, THAT'S INCREDIBLE!

 

COLE:

Where did Lyne get that burst of adrenaline from?

 

Sturgis is down, Lyne is down to one knee, surprised himself that he pulled off that move. He climbs the ropes....

 

 

COLE:

Could be time for that deadly Shooting Star Legdrop!

 

 

COACH:

I talked to Jacob before the match, he calls it the Crop Circle!

 

 

Jacob... slowly.... makes his way to the top, Sturgis isn't moving.

 

 

THERE'S THE SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND IT CONNECTS!

 

 

COLE:

THIS MIGHT BE IT!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!

 

 

RA:

Here is your winner, "The Role Model" JACOB LYNE!

 

COLE:

Jacob Lyne chalks up another victory for UGW in spectacular fashion!

 

COACH:

This kid just proved he's no flash in the pan tonight!

 

 

Jacob Lyne gets his hand raised as he holds his head in pain. Sturgis is also slowly getting to his feet.

 

COLE:

This is one of the most brutal elimination matches we've seen in quite sometime, both men will be feeling the effects for weeks!

 

 

Lyne and Sturgis eye each other...and Lyne offers his hand.

 

COACH:

A show of sportsmanship from a UGW wrestler? Your kidding.

 

Sturgis looks at Jacob's hand...and accepts.

 

 

 

 

NOPE!

 

 

 

STURGIS BOOTS JACOB IN THE GUT, HOOKS THE ARMS...

 

 

AND SPIKES HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A TIGER DRIVER '91!!!!

 

 

"TAKE THAT UGW BITCH!"

 

COACH:

Yeah Sturgis, give it to that punk!

 

Sturgis leaves the ring, having left Lyne laying motionless.

 

COLE:

You better believe after that, these two are gonna cross paths again sometime in the very near future!

 

COACH:

Props to Jacob Lyne, but I'm finding it hard to get behind a guy who runs with The Underground.

 

COLE:

I don't think any male on earth wants you BEHIND them.

 

COACH:

Oh, now you gotta bust out the gay jokes? Producers, cut to a break, I wanna have a word with this fool!

 

::...and....break::

[Zack Malibu 0]

HeldDOWN~! returns, with Michael Cole and The Coach talking in hushed tones to each other.

 

COACH

Look man, I know we gotta bicker, and it's all part o' the show. You and I, we got skillz, we got chemistry. I'm just afraid you're gonna insult the gay demographic with that jazz. Last thing we need is for them to say we've got two hours worth of hate crimes.

 

COLE

Er, Jonathan? We're back on the air?

 

::Coach turns to face the camera, bug-eyed and nervous. He then smacks Michael Cole on the shoulder.::

 

COACH

I mean, yeah, BITCH, that's what you get for callin' me a poop pusher!

 

COLE

...what happened to not deflecting certain demographics?

 

COACH

Eh, the truth hurts.

 

COLE

Well, while Philosopher Coachman entertains me here in the booth, we take you now to a segment that made it's debut to...some...fanfare last week...The Incinerator!

 

 

[Fire Water Burn by Bloodhoung Gang plays as the Incinerator title screen appears for about 10 seconds. Then the picture fades to Pyromaniac sitting at his desk surrounded by a backdrop of San Diego.]

 

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the host of the Incinerator, Pyromaniac.

 

[canned applause]

 

Pyromaniac: Thank You Shotgun Tom. Well it's been an interesting week. Apparently, Damaramu is not a part of the ugw invasion as I had been told. Well I must admit I was rather embarrassed. But hey, at least I'm not the Shockmaster. [long pause] I said at least I'm not the Shockmaster! [canned laughter] That's better. Anyway, I know just how to fix this situation. Humberto, please come here.

 

[Humberto, a middle aged Mexicano, approaches the desk]

 

Pyromaniac: Well Humberto, it looks like you screwed up mucho grande. Tell me one good reason I shouldn't fire tu' asso worthlesso.

 

Humberto: Por favor senior, no fire me. Tengo niños dos y siete. Necesitan alimento y ropas.

 

Pyromaniac: Dammit! use condoms! Stupid Catholics. Anyway I'll make sure your family has financial support. [pulls out money to illustrate point] However there's a catch.

 

Humberto: Que?

 

Pyromaniac: You must disavow a union with Christ and deny his role as the savior. Give me your bible and your cross.

 

[Humberto is torn by the conflict between his faith and his career]

 

Pyromaniac: Hand them over ese!

 

[Humberto reluctantly hands over his religious items.]

 

Pyromaniac: Now in the interest of brevity, I've prepared a contract for you to sign, in blood of course.

 

[Humberto begins to pray]

 

Pyromaniac: Dammit Humberto, you're to rebuke Christ and his love. Now prick yourself and sign before I have you thrown out

 

[Damaramu walks out onto the set behind Pyromaniac]

 

Pyro: Hey.....Dama.....I'd heard you were going to stop by....I mean after your appearance last week.....

 

Dama: Yeah my appearance......I heard about that....so tell me...

[Dama leans really close into Pyro's face]

Are you the idiot that's been writing checks his ass can't cash?

 

Pyro: Well....umm......you see.......

 

Dama: Shut up. Listen here.....I'm not going to kick your ass tonight. But let me warn you.....if I EVER hear you mention my name again.....there will be trouble. Understand? Say yes sir.

 

Pyro: Yes sir...........

[Dama turns to walk off the set]

Well that was Damaramu ladies and gentleman! Nice to have him here....he's lucky he left though after what I did to him last we......uh-oh.....

[Dama is back on the set]

 

Dama: What did you do to me last week? WHAT!? You beat up a look a like. Look at this place! This is a fucking joke! I DON'T TAKE MY JOB AS A JOKE!

[Dama turns and knocks over the back wall to the set and then turns to Pyro who is starting to get up from his chair]

Where do you think you're going?

 

Pyro: For coffee?

 

[Dama laughs and turns away....but then out of nowhere hits a superkick right on Pyro's face knocking Pyro over his desk and onto the floor]

 

Dama: You have a big mouth....but I'm going to handle that......

 

[Dama lifts Pyro off of the ground as Pyro suddenly fights back running Dama back first into the desk. Pyro begins opening up with lefts and rights to Dama's ribs....he steps back appearing to be ready to deliver a clothesline....as he rushes Dama, Dama ducks and sends Pyro overhead onto the desk....Pyro starts to struggle but Dama steps back lifting his leg high into the air and bringing it right down onto Pyro's head, which is hanging over the edge of the desk. Dama then yanks Pyro off of the desk and smiles as he spins him around and lifts him onto his shoulders.......right in position for the Burning Hammer! Dama screams and performs the move.......dropping Pyro onto the desk. Pyro just lays there out cold as Dama turns to Humberto]

 

Dama: You might want to call a doctor, if you got anything else to say funny man...then say it in the ring....I'm free for the pay per view if you wanna die then....

[leaning in close to Pyro's unconcious face]

I WILL BREAK YOU!

 

*fade to black*

[Zack Malibu 0]

(HeldDOWN~! is back from break. The camera heads backstage, to find Lauren Gellar stretching out her calves in the entranceway. Ragdoll's valet Melanie walks by, and bangs her shoulder into Lauren, knocking the HD newcomer to the ground.)

 

LAUREN:

Ahhh, watch it!

 

MELANIE (disgusted look on her face):

Who the hell are you? Oh, you're that IZ loser's skank.

 

LAUREN:

Lauren Gellar, nice to meet you too.

 

MELANIE:

What-ever. I can't believe that idiot Moysey signed a butter-faced no-talent like you.

 

LAUREN:

Well, we all know what "talent" got you on TV

(pushes her tongue against her mouth.)

 

MELANIE:

Bitch, you aren't even worthy to have a match in this company- you know what, I'll prove it in the ring tonight!

 

LAUREN:

Looking forward to it.

 

MELANIE:

Good.

 

(Melanie SLAPS Lauren hard across the face!)

 

MELANIE:

See you out there.

 

(Melanie walks off smiling as Lauren holds her stinging face.)

 

::Cut back to the announcers at Sofa Central::

 

COACH

Ooooh, a catfight! Me likey!

 

COLE

What happened to being a one woman man?

 

COACH

I like to think I'm more of a "one at a time" woman man.

 

COLE

I'm telling Crystal.

 

COACH

Please don't.

 

 

Cole: Ok...coming up next is a match featuring two men who are looking for a shiny new HeldDOWN contract. Since GM Northstar took over, apparently he's been under siege from wrestlers who saw a chance to join the HeldDOWN brand. So, he's given two of the ‘better’ applicants a tryout match tonight...seems pretty fair to me.

Coach: Two best eh? He must have missed my application then...

Cole: Yeah...he must have.

Coach: But, don’t worry Michael…there’s no hard feelings from The Coach.

Cole: I'm sure our two competitors are glad to hear that...let's go up to the ring.

 

.:Limp Bizkit’s “Let It Go” starts up, as one of the two unknowns steps out from the back:.

 

The first combatant walks slowly down the aisle, a muscular man with short black hair, and sporting a pair of black jeans and a white tanktop.

 

Gary Michael Capetta: "Ladies and gentlemen...this contest is scheduled for one fall, with the winner recieving an OAOAST HeldDOWN~! contract! Introducing first...he hails from Raleigh, North Carolina...he weighs 268 pounds...Sheldon Franklin."

 

Franklin enters the ring underneath the bottom rope, and with little reaction from the crowd he raises both his arms in the air, a slightly sour look on his face from the crowd indifference.

 

.:Cue "My Hero" by The Foo Fighters over the P.A System:.

 

Capetta: And his opponent...from Grand Rapids, Michigan, and weighing 198 pounds. He is Leon..."Silky Smooth"...Rodez!

 

Capetta finishes as Rodez finally steps out from the back, his flashy bright red robe and matching tights contrasting with the continued lack of crowd interest. Regardless, Rodez takes his time to high-five some of the fans...and stop to talk to the female fans as he's going. Suddenly, Sheldon rolls from the ring and stomps his way down the aisle, with Leon busy conversing with one of the females in the front row. Leon doesn't see Sheldon coming, and gets nailed with a right hand to the cheek. The woman jumps away, as Sheldon hits a couple more rights.

 

Cole: Well, this one has started in the aisle Coach...Sheldon obviously wants this HeldDOWN contract badly.

Coach: Who wouldn't? We're the number one brand in sports entertainment partner...why do you think I'm here?

 

Rodez stumbles down the aisle and to the ring, as Sheldon follows. Both men quickly roll into the ring, Sheldon going straight back to the hard right hands. After another 5 or 6 rights, Rodez manages to duck one and catch a right of his own. Sheldon just shrugs it off, and drives his knee hard into the gut of Rodez to neutralise him. Franklin follows up with a clubbing blow across the back, and another knee, this time to the skull of Rodez. A stunned Rodez retreats to the corner to catch back his breath, as Sheldon back up to the opposite corner. Suddenly leaving the corner, Franklin charges across the ring and goes for an avalanche...

 

...which Leon sidesteps, causing Franklin to crash sternum first into the buckles. As he backs up, Franklin is caught from behind with a stiff kick to the back, and one quickly following to the chest. The big man stumbles back, as Leon jumps up to the middle rope. As Sheldon stops, Leon leaves the ropes with an attempted crossbody, only for Sheldon to catch him in mid-air and drill Rodez with a powerslam!

 

Cole: Beautiful counter by Franklin, his size advantage paying off there.

Coach: Well, I...

Cole: Don't even think about it.

Coach: Bu...

Cole: Leave it.

 

Rodez holds his back, as Sheldon walks around the ring, picking his spot. He hits a stomp to the gut, then one to the head, as Rodez tries to roll away. Eventually Sheldon backs off, waiting for Rodez to get up before suddenly charging with a clothesline. Rodez holds his throat in pain from the impact, as Sheldon quickly goes for a cover...

 

 

 

...1

 

 

 

...2

 

 

...two count only.

 

Sheldon quickly gets back up, and lands a stomp to the back of Leon's head. Another two connect with Leon's head, before Franklin allows him up. As Rodez does so, Sheldon charges and hits another clothesline...this time Rodez gets straight back up, only to get a third clothesline. This one puts Rodez down, and this time he doesn't get straight up. Seeing this, Sheldon takes a break and backs up to the corner, as Rodez takes his time getting up. Slowly he does, and Sheldon charges and dives for a spear...but Leon leaves his feet to nail a dropkick in mid spear, catching Sheldon right across the top of the head. The crowd 'OOH!' at the sight of the dropkick, as Sheldon is immediately checked on by the referee.

 

Cole: That looked pretty nasty. It may very well have jolted Sheldon's neck back...and neck injuries are a serious thing. Refere...

Coach: This brotha's neck is built like a stone…a big stone at that.

Cole: …Nice analogy as ever partner.

 

Rodez meanwhile has time to get to his feet, and waits for Sheldon to get up. Eventually he shrugs off the referee and manages to get back up, to be met with a boot to the gut by Leon. Rodez then backs off the ropes, and takes Franklin down with a nice swinging neckbreaker. Rodez then quickly climbs up to the top rope, as Sheldon starts to get back up already. Sheldon sees Leon on the top rope and tries to react, but can’t react quick enough…as Leon uses the ropes to propel himself at Sheldon with a missile dropkick. Quickly Leon scrambles over to make a cover…

 

 

 

…1

 

 

 

…2

 

 

 

…two count again.

 

Leon is up quickly again, hitting a couple of stomps to the back to try and keep Sheldon down. The powerhouse shrugs off the stomps and starts to get to his feet, so Rodez takes off, running to the ropes. As he comes back, Rodez goes for a flying forearm, but is caught in the arms of Sheldon with ease. Walking forward, Sheldon drives Leon down into a backbreaker, keeping him in his arms looking for another backbreaker. Sheldon hits the second, and raises Rodez up again…

 

 

…but Leon kicks his way out in mid-air, flipping over Sheldon and landing behind him. Sheldon looks confused momentarily, as Rodez leaves his feet, and catches Franklin in the back of the head with a spinning heel kick.

 

Cole: An Owen Hart style spinning heel kick…hooking the leg right around Sheldon’s head, beautiful move.

 

The crowd are slowly but surely getting behind Rodez it seems, and he reacts with a smile out to the crowd as he gets up. Rodez grabs a hold of Sheldon by the head, and goes to pick him up…only to get a lowblow for his troubles!!!

 

Coach: Oh! An uppercut where the sun don’t even THINK o’ shinan’!

Cole: How long have you been waiting to say that.

Coach: Weeks Michael, weeks!

 

The crowd boo away, but it seems the referee didn’t see it. Sheldon gets back to his feet and locks on a double underhook, raising Rodez in the air and bringing him down with a vicious seated tiger bomb, the big man’s athleticism getting applause from the crowd. Sheldon quickly places his legs across Rodez’s arms for a cover…

 

 

 

…1

 

 

 

…2

 

 

 

 

 

…THR…NO! A close nearfall!

 

The angry Sheldon scrambles over to the referee with an angered look on his face, questioning the count. Meanwhile Rodez holds his back in pain, but still tries to get back up.

 

Eventually Franklin breaks away from the referee and pulls Rodez to his feet, hitting a knee to the gut before pulling him in for another tiger bomb seemingly. Sheldon hooks both of Leon’s arms in a double underhook, and lifts him up…

 

 

…only for Leon to counter with a hurricanrana!!!

 

Cole: Beautiful! What a counter!

 

 

The stunned Sheldon gets back to his feet, only to get smacked in the jaw with a vicious superkick! The force actually puts the 268 pounder down first time! Sheldon gets right back up out of pure instinct, as Sheldon goes for another superkick. This time Sheldon catches the leg, but Leon instantly swings with his other leg, catching Sheldon around the back of the head with a modified shining wizard!

 

Coach: That’s nice…my main man on the attack…

Cole: Woah, since when was this guy ‘your main man’?

Coach: Since the chicks started swarming around him…

Cole: Ah…of course.

 

 

With Sheldon down, Rodez signals out to the crowd before going to the top rope, Sheldon looking to be out cold. Getting to the top, Rodez gains his balance before launching off, and flipping forward in mid-air…

 

 

…through 450 degrees…

 

 

 

…with a 450 Splash!

 

Cole: FOUR…FIFTY…SPLASH!!!

Coach: That’s why he’s my new main man Cole!

 

 

Leon instantly hooks the leg on landing, nodding along with the referee’s count…

 

 

 

…1

 

 

 

…2

 

 

 

 

 

…3~!

 

 

Cole: It’s over!?! Wow, that was quick!

 

The Foo Fighter’s “My Hero” starts up, as Rodez gets up from the cover with a beaming smile on his face.

 

Capetta: Here is your winner…and the newest signing to the HeldDOWN~! brand…Leon “Silky Smooth”…RODEZ!!!

 

Cole: What an impressive win here…in all of 4 or 5 minutes!

Coach: It might have been different if I were in there…but nonetheless, ya gotta give it up for the new kid.

Cole: Er…yes, you do. Leon Rodez has himself a brand spanking new contract…and we’ll see how he gets on here on HeldDOWN~! in the coming weeks. Folks, it’s time for a break…we’ll see you in two…

Coach: Or longer…the commercials bring us money see.

Cole: Stay tuned!

 

Rodez leaves the ring and starts to celebrate his win, as meanwhile Sheldon slowly starts getting up, realizing it’s back to the dole-queue for him…meanwhile, the scene fades to a commercial.

[Zack Malibu 0]

 

HeldDOWN~! returns, with the on-screen image of HeldDOWN~!'s esteemed leader, Northstar, as well as his followers. The graphic fades out, and takes us to our next segment.

 

Northstar, Flameout and Silver Star are sitting in a poorly lit room. The decor and furniture are a far cry from the plush confines of Northstar's office)

 

Silver Star: What are we here for dude? Where are Alix and Holly?

 

Northstar: I didn't ask them to meet me here.

 

Flameout: Oh yeah? Why not?

 

Northstar: This isn't about them. It's about us and what we've gotta to do now that we've got control of HeldDOWN.

 

Flameout: What we gotta do is throw a mother fucking partay. Get some Alize, chronic, some sluts. Have a real good time.

 

Silver Star: That's the word, dude!

 

Northstar: No. No, it's not the word. Silver Star, Flameout, we need to get focused. Let's start getting serious.

 

Silver Star: About what? Why do we all of a sudden have to be serious Sam's? We're running a wrestling company. How hard can that be?

 

Northstar: I don't know. I've never run one before. But, if we dick around like we always do, I guarantee we'll fuck this up. Guys, this isn't high school. No one's gonna come and bail us out if we tank this show. Not our parents. Not our girlfriends' parents. Not fucking nobody. We fuck this up and we'll be the fucking laughing stocks of an entire good damn industry. You want that? You want to be the BUTT of every cock sucking wrestling fan's fucking joke? Do you wanna be fucking known as the cock suckers who fucking sent this company into Chapter eleven?

 

Silver Star: No, not really.

 

Flameout: You're kinda painting a bleak picture here, boss.

 

Northstar: I know I am. I don't mean to be so negative, but I'm trying to show ya'll the reality of our pretty fucked up situation. If we dick around, we're fucked. But if we keep our heads straight and get deep into the fucking game, we could really make it, ya know. I mean really fucking make it big. If we do this right, really make heldDOWN seem special, we'll be on fucking easy street for the rest of our damn lives. And, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm sick of living in my dad's shadow. I'm fucking sick of people always asking me when am I gonna grow up and be like Ol Bel Air Bryan I just want to be my own man, with my own name and my own success. I know you guys want that to. So, let's just do this fucking right.

 

Flameout: Yo, you're coming correct. I'm with you.

 

Silver Star: I don't know what coming correct is, but I'm with you to!

 

(Fade to black)

 

 

::Cut back to "Sofa Central"::

 

COACH

I was wondering where he's been.

 

COLE

See, now, even I have to give Northstar credit. While he may not go about things the best way, deep down he knows that he's got to succeed. His newfound power could prove to be a huge motivator for our brand.

 

COACH

I was motivated when Tim was here.

 

COLE

That's because you'd both sneak into the girls locker room together.

 

COACH

You LIE!

 

"Higher" by Creed kicks up.

 

Cole:What, Mad Matt already? He isn't due to be out here till later.

 

But it's not Mad Matt. It is some guy with short red hair that appears to be only 5'3 and maybe 140 lbs after a big dinner. He looks absolutely pale and the crowds chants of "You're Not Matt" The new kid enters the ring and he shaking badly. The kid grabs the microphone and is shaking hand drops it. He picks it up.

 

Mysterious New Guy:Uh hi. I am like um making my debut in this er wrestling uh fed. I have like not ever you know watched wrestling before until I well you know watched some tapes of my er friend uh Mad Matt. I have no clue why he is so uh mad but that is his like his business or something like that. I have come here like to um you know be like the best in this fed. Plus I need to like you know pay the rent on my apartment. This is the only thing that I can do that doesn't like require brains.

 

The crowd is booing this new guy but he continues on.

 

New Guy:So my name is like, well I like haven't thought of a cool wrestling name um yet so I am going to go my my uh real name. My name is Jeremy Red. The people in this fed should like do well to like remember what my name is. They need to know it when they like talk to me and stuff.

 

The crowd pelts Jeremy Red with garbage. Even the Coach crumples up a piece of paper from the table and throws it at him.

 

Cole:Coach!!!

 

Coach:Sorry couldn't help it. This kid like uh gets on my nerves.

 

Jeremy Red cowers in the corner shaking. "Higher" by Creed kicks up again and out comes Mad Matt. Mad Matt looks disgusted at this kid. Mad Matt enters the ring.

 

Matt:First of all, I only pulled some strings to get you in here because you came to my door and begged me. Second of all, don't be going stealing my music. Third of all, since public speaking obviously isn't your thing I am volunteering you for a match next week.

 

Jeremy Red:A M-M-M-Match.

 

Matt:Yes. Two wrestlers wrestle in a wrestling ring and one wins. You know a match. You did see the ones I wrestled in. Yes you know. I got busted open. Nearly got my skull crushed. Got brutalised by barbed wire. But nothing you can't handle kid.

 

Jeremy Red faints in the ring.

 

Matt:God what a pathetic waste of...anyway. Next week. Anyone vs that kid on the floor that begged me to get him a job. Jeremy Something or Other. I don't think he can even take a clothesline but I saw Barry Horowitz win a match before so anything is possible. Now if you excuse me, I got to finish my preporations for my match later tonight.

 

Mad Matt leaves and Jeremy Red is still done on the canvas. He fainted from the terror of competing in something remotely close to some of Mad Matt's matches in the past. Sercurity come to the ring and drag Red to the back, as we cut to a message from our sponsors.

[Zack Malibu 0]

["Let's Run" by Le Tigre fires up throughout the arena and out strides Melanie, sizing up the crowd with a sneer on her face.]

 

COLE:

Here's a match that was signed just minutes ago by GM Northstar, following that altercation we saw between Melanie and new HeldDown star Lauren Gellar earlier tonight.

 

COACH:

We all know Northstar loves some good women's action, and that's one thing we both agree on! As we saw earlier Michael, Melanie may be HOT, but she's a doll who's seriously on the rag.

 

COLE:

Could your puns get *any* worse?

 

RING ANNOUNCER:

The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, from Portland Oregon now residing in Las Vegas Nevada, MELANIE!

 

Melanie demurely enters the ring and slouches in the corner, awaiting her opponent, taking the time to flip off some ladies in the front row

 

[Cue: "Touched" by VAST]

 

Touched...you say that I...am too.

So much...of what they say is true.

I'll never find someone quite like you..

 

RA:

AND HER OPPONENT, from Boston Massachusetts, this is LAUREN GELLAR!

 

COLE:

Lauren Gellar making her long awaited debut on HeldDown...trained by "Shooter" Jay Darring, she's supposedly been turning a lot of heads with her abilities.

 

COACH:

And I can see why...DAMN!

 

COLE:

Careful Coach, Jay gets jealous easily.

 

Lauren emerges from the entranceway, a big smile on her face. She runs around slapping hands with the fans at ringside, and rolls into the ring, staring holes at her opponent.

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

COLE:

This should be very interesting coach, neither woman has much in-ring experience, it'll be interesting to see what goes down right now, on OAOAST HeldDown!

 

Both women move toward each other in a nose-to-nose confrontation. Out of nowhere, there's SLAP from Melanie! Lauren's head snaps back, and she looks at her hand.

 

COACH:

What a BEEOTCH!

 

Suddenly, quick as lightning, Lauren shoots in with an amateur takedown. She takes down Melanie by the legs, Melanie lands on her stoamach, Lauren floats over to a front facelock. She switches to a hammerlock, and starts slapping Melanie, across the back of the head!

 

COLE:

Lauren Gellar showing tremendous amateur wrestling skills! Which isn't surprising, I'm reading her background info and apparently, Coach, she was the first ever female wrestler at Boston Latin High School!

 

COACH:

I would have loved to have been on that team! What a spitfire!

 

Lauren drives her head into Melanie's abdomen and turns her over for a cradle! Cover!

 

 

1

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

Kickout! Both women back up to their feet, Melanie charges- Lauren with a deep armdrag! Melanie springs back to her feet, but takes another armdrag! Melanie charges a third time, right into a Northern Light Suplex with a bridge!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

COLE:

Melanie may have come into this match too confident, she's gotta get a game plan together and fast!

 

 

Lauren picks up Melanie- but Melanie thumbs her in the eye!

 

COACH:

And she wears fake nails Cole! Lauren could have a scratched cornea!

 

Lauren staggers back holding her eye- Melanie grabs her head from behind- and drives her down with a reverse DDT!

 

COLE:

This could be it Coach! What a strike by Melanie!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

COACH:

Lauren Gellar kicking out on instinct there- Jay has taught her well.

 

Melanie picks up Lauren- "FINISH!" She grabs Lauren by the neck...

 

 

COLE:

She's looking for that Natural Born Killer Coach!

 

NO! Lauren shoves her off into the ropes- Melanie comes back with a clothesline, dropping Lauren! Cover!

 

1!

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

ANOTHER KICKOUT!

 

Melanie stops to argue the count with the referee- she picks up Lauren and places her on the top rope.

 

 

COLE:

She could be looking for a superplex here, that'll definitely put Lauren away!

 

 

Melanie heads up to the top rope, and throws a punch to keep Lauren stunned-NO! Lauren blocks and shoves Melanie off!

 

Melanie lands on her feet- BUT LAUREN JUMPS OFF AND CATCHES HER WITH A TORNADO DDT!

 

 

COLE:

WHAT A MOVE! THAT'S THE GRAVITY KILLER COACH!

 

 

Cover!

 

 

1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!

 

 

RA:

Your winner of the match, LAUREN GELLAR!

 

 

COACH:

A spectacular debut win for Lauren Gellar, after a spectacular move.

 

COLE:

Indeed...wait a minute Coach, here comes Satori! The female assassin of the Rat Pack! She's got a cane!

 

Satori has slipped behind Lauren as she's getting her hand raised by the referee! Lauren turns around...and GETS CRACKED IN THE HEAD WITH THE CANE!

 

COLE:

What a heinous assault! Melanie and Satori putting the boots to Lauren now!

 

Satori continues to assault Lauren with the cane, as Melanie pulls at her hair and slaps her across the face!

 

 

COACH:

HERE COMES K-MONEY!

 

K-Money has hit the ring, and the two women take a powder. K-Money helps Lauren back to her feet, and raises her hand once again.

 

COLE:

There's always been a tremendous amount of mutual respect between K-Money and Jay Darring, there was no way he was going to stand for Ragdoll's jezebels assaulting Jay's girlfriend.

 

K-Money helps Lauren to the back, which is a place that our cameras already are. Standing by backstage is Totally Endorsed member and X Division contender Sly Somers...

 

 

(We cut backstage, where Sly’s waiting for his interview.)

 

SLY: Hey, cameraman, where’s my interviewer?

 

CAMERAMAN: (whispering) Remember when you and Josh had to split up forever? Northstar’s enforcing that....

 

SLY: WHAT?!?! Whatever....I’ll handle it myself.

 

“ANNOUNCER”: (Sly grabs a mic, slouches down, and starts speaking in an “official announcer’s voice”) So, Mr. Sommers, I’m wondering, in a question I know you’ll ignore just like all wrestlers do in interviews, what are your thoughts on what happened last week in that gigantic, colosseus tag match?

 

SLY: Well, to totally ignore your question, I’m challenging the Epitome of No Ability, the X”tremely Stupid” Champion, Mad Matt, to a match tonight. Why? See, he’s supposed to be the X Champion, yet he couldn’t pin me in a measily tag match last week. In algebic form, that means that Sly is better than Matt. But, it won’t be just ANY match. Oh no, it’ll be the extremely dreaded, feared, scary, ucky, yucky....NON-TITLE MATCH! But, Matt, don’t be feeling safe just yet. After I destroy you tonight after I should have last week if it weren’t for that doofus who was too stupid to realize that I, me, moi, super-duper mother-freaking trooper #234. was on his own freaking team! Eh, I’ll deal with that goober later. But at least he got AJ “I SO Do Not Have As Much” Flaire “As Jennifer Aniston in ‘Office Space’”. So, Matthew The Mad, prepare. Why? You’re in for a scare....BOO! No, that wasn’t the scare. But....I’ll mess you up really bad. Any more questions?

 

“ANNOUNCER”: (Sly scrunches down, changes directions, and uses his announcer voice): No, sir. Well, there you have it, coming up next: Mad Matt will get MASSACRED by Sly Sommers!

 

(Sly hands the cameraman his mic, and the cameraman leaves. But, he forgot to turn his camera off when he sat it down. The referee from last week enters the room.)

 

REF: (whispering) So, where’s the cash?

 

SLY: (whispering) Dude, you really messed up last week. So, even though I know you need the money for your family’s food and house payments and unimportant stuff like that, I’m not paying you. But, I got you the ref assignment for this match. If you do well here, I’ll pay you twice what I was planning on paying you. Got it?

 

REF: (whispering) Yes, boss.

 

SLY: Now, go out there and make sure that no one heard us.

 

(Cut back to the arena)

 

COACH: Wait...what was...

 

MC: (nudges Coach) I didn’t see anything.

 

COACH: That thing...in the locker room...just now...

 

MC: (nudges Coach and whispers) Psss, don’t acknoledge that stuff on camera! You wanna get fired?

 

COACH: Oh...OH! Wait, I didn’t see anything either! Uh...back after this.

[Zack Malibu 0]

(Sly comes out, with a huge smile on his face. When he enters the ring, he nudges the referee and says something inaudible to him.)

 

COACH: Sly, being the whiner that he is, has challenged the X Champion to a match tonight.

 

MC: I’m sure Matt is really mad...(fake laugh)

 

(The lights dim, and out comes the X-Division Champion, Mad Matt, who sure looks mad.)

 

COACH: Tonight, that title of Matt’s isn’t on the line, but his pride sure is! Now...wait, what’s going on?!?

 

(The lights go completely off, the announcers’ mics cut off, and the video feed switches. The phrase “Your Savior Is Coming” shows up on the screen, before leaving and cutting back to the normal programming five seconds later.)

 

MC: Our savior is coming? WHAT?

 

COACH: That was quite bizarre. Whatever it means, it doesn’t look good for the competitors of HeldDown.

 

MC: I’m still trying to figure out what that means, but we must concentrate on the match at hand.

 

The referee makes both men go to opposite corners. Then, the ref checks just about ever spot possible on Matt for weapons. The referee makes Matt take off his boots “in case of any shoe bombs”. He even pulls a pair of scissors out of his pocket to snip some hairs off of Matt’s head “for criminal investigation”. Then, he goes over to Sly’s corner....to shake his hand and pat him on the back. The bell rings....

 

Matt and Sly pace to mid-ring, and lock horns in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Sly locks in a headlock, but Matt shoves him off to the ropes. Sly comes back, but gets a standing shoulderblock for his troubles. Matt runs off, bounces off the ropes, and jumps over Sly, who’s laying on his stomach. Sly gets back up, and Matt leapfrogs over him. Matt then nails a rolling forearm to the face that sends Sly down. Sly pops back up, and Matt goes for a kick. Sly catches his foot, and tries launching Matt upward. But, Matt lands on his feet after a backflip, and nails a stiff, charging lariat. Matt pulls Sly up, and whips him to the turnbuckle. Matt jogs away from Sly, then charges forward. However, his shoulder charge misses when Sly jumps into a sitting position on the top turnbuckle, and Matt goes shoulder-first into the cornerpost. Matt goes down into a kneeling position. But, when Sly tries to bend down to get ahold of Matt’s legs, Matt shows that he’s just playing possum, as he quickly does a handstand on the bottom ropes, locks Sly’s head, and nails his headstand hurricanrana.

 

COACH: So far, Matt’s been able to use his speed, innovation, and agility to dominate the early-goings of this match-up!

 

Matt goes to the apron, and waits for Sly to get up. When he does, Matt jumps to the top rope, and nails a springboard armdrag that sends Sly to the outside! Sly stumbles around a bit on his feet, but then Matt hits another springboard, this time into his big 450 plancha! Both men crash and burn on the concrete, but Matt gets up first, and throws Sly back into the ring. Matt then goes up to the second rope, and waits for Sly to get up. When Sly does, Matt leaps off of the middle rope, and nails a tornado DDT!

 

MC: So far tonight, Mad Matt has been representing his X style well, as he’s been gold with everything he’s attempted in mid-air!

 

Matt then pulls Sly up, and puts him in a front facelock. He does the “thumb across the throat” signal, and nails a DDT. Matt goes for the first pin of the match.........1.............2.....kickout by Sly. Matt then goes to the apron again, and this time, connects with a spectacular springboard senton! Matt pulls Sly up, and whips him to the ropes. Sly somehow is able to duck a forearm, so Matt bounces off of the ropes from the other end, and connects with a flying headscissors that sends Sly flying to the floor, and hitting his head on the guardrail. The referee then pulls a yellow card out from his pocket, and points at Matt.

 

COACH: I’m getting word that, due to the supposed worldwide experience of our referee, this match is being fought under “international rules”, one of those nations being Japan. Japan houses the PRIDE promotion, which has the “yellow card rule”. I guess this means that Matt has been warned about doing something illegally, which might be the supposed use of a guardrail as a weapon during the flying headscissors, and ten percent of Matt’s payoff for this match has been taken away.

 

After stumbling around for seconds, Sly slowly re-enters the ring. They lock up again, and Sly locks in a waistlock. But, Matt reverses into an armbar, which he quickly transitions into an Irish whip. Matt then comes off of the ropes and hits a somersault Rocker Dropper. Sly rolls to the outside again, and the referee gets on Matt’s case, accusing him of having a metal pole in his right pants leg. While Matt’s being searched, Sly runs back into the ring and jumps him from behind. Sly connects with three forearms to the back of the head, and whips Matt to the ropes. Sly then connects with a drop toe hold and transitions into a front face lock. As the camera closes in on Sly blatantly choking Matt, we see the referee, instead of checking the choke, applauding the sequence.

 

MC: Something fishy is going on here!

 

Matt eventually gets his right hand in between Sly’s arm and his throat, and breaks the choke. He uses the right hand to grab Sly’s arm, and switch positions so that he’s on top of Sly’s back, with a reverse hammerlock. He quickly goes to lock in a chinlock to complete an inverted cross-face chickenwing of sorts, but Sly tucks his chin in so that Matt can’t get it to stop touching his chest. Sly then gets to a squatting position, where he uses his free arm to pick Matt’s right leg. Matt goes down, and Sly picks the leg up to twist the ankle while in a standing position. Matt turns himself onto his stomach, and puts his left leg in the air. He then pushes down on his right leg with his left to bend the knee in, and uses the momentum to pull Sly in for a headlock after Sly falls on the mat back-first. Sly attempts a headscissors to manuever his way out of the headlock, but Matt continuously blocks it with his left arm. Finally, Sly slides out of the headlock, and rolls to the end of Matt’s legs, where he then starts working over the right leg of Matt’s with a standard leg lock, with both men back-down on the mat.

 

COACH: You can definately notice that both men have started to institute their strategies, as Sly’s seeking and destroying the legs of Matt, a notable high-flyer, while Matt is going after the neck of Sly’s. Sly’s neck has to be weakened after AJ Flaire went after it in both of their tremendous matches last month, and especially after Axel’s tantrum last week.

 

Matt tries to turn himself out of the leglock, but Sly rolls with him to keep it locked in. Matt then bridges upward, and turns over, successfully breaking the hold. Sly tries to keep ahold of Matt’s leg, but Matt then does a forward roll to get out of it. Both men are up, and Matt runs after Sly. However, Sly saw it coming, and dropkicked Matt’s right leg. Matt goes down in pain, and Sly drags Matt by the leg to the ropes. He then locks in an inverted half-crab-type of move, with the leg bent over the bottom rope to apply more pressure. This is illegal, however, the referee turns his back to “tie his shoes” during the move. Sly lets go of the crab, and lays the injured right leg of Matt’s on the bottom rope, as the referee turns around.

 

MC: While I must compliment Sly on his incessant attack of Matt’s right leg, I have to ask, who gave this goof his referee’s license?

 

Sly then locks in a Dory Funk, Jr.-style spinning toe hold. But, after the third spin, Matt pushes Sly to the outside with his left leg. The referee then starts yelling at Matt as he struggles up, and says that he has “one more strike” before he’s disqualified. Matt looks like he’s about ready to punch this ridiculous referee, but just then, Sly comes back into the ring and clips Matt’s right leg. Sly then gets up, grabs the right leg, yells “HEEEEEY-OOOOO!”, and nails a legdrop onto the bad leg. He then locks in the leg lock that he had applied earlier. This time, Matt is sitting up while the move is applied, and continuously punches Sly in the face until Sly breaks the hold. While Sly gets to his feet, Matt crawls to the ropes, and uses them to pull himself up. Sly runs at him, but Matt uses his good leg to kick Sly in the gut. Matt starts throwing his signature flurry of chops, while limping around on his bad leg.

 

COACH: Look at the heart, determination, and fire that Matt’s showing here!

 

MC: He sure is coming back like a house of fire after having his right leg basically taken from him by his opponent!

 

Matt whips Sly to the ropes, and connects with a backdrop. Sly pops back up, and Matt nails a flying forearm. But, he paid for his misjudgment, as when he hits the ground, he comes down hard on his right knee. As soon as Sly comes to, he jumps on it like a shark to blood, and locks in the Indian Deathlock (non-bridging, inverted figure-four version). Everytime Matt sits up and screams in pain, Sly reaches over and slaps him in the face, to infuriate him even more.

 

COACH: Look at the blatant disrespect that this little punk is showing our X Champion, literally slapping him in the face while trying to take out one of the most deadly weapons in his arsenal, his legs!

 

Matt eventually gets so mad that adreniline surges through his body, and he’s able to reverse the move by turning it over, bridging back, and locking in the reverse Indian Deathlock with a bridge, cranking back on Sly’s bad neck. But, the incompetent referee breaks up the hold, claiming that Matt’s neck crank was a choke. Matt limps up to his feet, stares angrily at the referee as he yells at him about the “choke”, and then shoves him down, and apparantly this guy’s such a wimp that it knocked him out!

 

MC: Finally, Matt has had enough of this referee’s bullcrap!

 

COACH: So had I! Thank you, Matt!

 

But, Matt took his eye off the prize, and Sly was able to connect with a leg clip again. This time, Sly makes sure Matt’s directly in the center of the ring, and then locks in the Argentine Leg Lock (high-angle half-crab with the leg bent over Sly’s own neck). Matt starts screaming at the top of his lungs in pain, but refuses to submit. The referee starts coming to his senses as Matt starts crawling to the ropes. But, Sly is able to use his leverage, considering he’s standing on his feet and can simply walk back to the middle of the ring. The referee’s awoken fully as Sly pulls about as far back on the right leg as possible. Matt tries crawling to the ropes again, but this time, the referee stands in his way on the path to the rope, saying he “needed to check the bottom rope for looseness”. This gives Sly the opportunity to pull him back to the center of the ring, and cinch the leglock in tighter than ever. After a ten-second scream of agony, Matt finally slowly, but surely, passes out due to the extreme amount of pressure applied to his leg!

 

MC: MY GOD!

 

COACH: Can you believe it? Sly Sommers has defeated our X-Division champion!

 

MC: Though Sly’s probably going to go around with his nose so far in the air that his face curves around and goes half-way up his own ass, he doesn’t have a ton to be proud of here!

 

COACH: Sure, Sly did work over the right leg of Mad Matt’s very well during the course of this contest, but if it weren’t for the horrible, totally biased officiating of this new referee, whose name we don’t even know, I’m sure the result would be much different right about now! Hell, Matt never even submitted. Sly deserves credit for putting him in so much pain that he had no choice but to pass out, but nonetheless, Matt’s loss was a matter of circumstances!

 

MC: Matt was screwed about as much as you can get screwed here without any pain to the anus....

 

COACH: That ref sure is a pain in the ass!

 

MC: Nice description, Jonathan. But, seriously, Sly Sommers now has a claim to getting a shot at the X Division Title, a challenge I’m sure he’ll lay down very, very soon!

 

COACH: More to come, after the break!

 

(We fade to black as Sly celebrates his somewhat tainted victory)

[Zack Malibu 0]

(Alix and Charlie Hoss are in a dressing room. Charlie's playing OAOAST Heldown: Screams of No Reply for Gamecube on a plasma TV, while Alix is looking through some official papers)

 

Alix: Chuckie, let me ask you something.

 

Charlie: Shoot.

 

Alix: Why the heck are you sitting on your BUTT playing video games while I'm working? If any one should be slacking off it's me.

 

Charlie: I'm not playing. I'm working just like you. The new webmaster for the OAOAST website, Skeet Ulrich, told me to review this game for the site. Get off my back, will ya.

 

Alix: No, I most certainly will not! I'll stay on your back for as long as I please! Because I am the boss. We may have the same title but I'm ten times your equal, Up Chuck. In fact you need to start addressing me as Ms.Spezia. Or better yet Mrs.Northstar

 

Charlie: I don't see a ring on your finger, old maid.

 

Alix: It's coming. It's coming! Northstar's just been busy lately. But, I swear we're going to get married and have a honey moon in Italy. And we'll own a really nice mansion in Malibu. And it'll be gated to keep filth like you out. Maybe I'll let you organize my shoe collection.

 

Charlie: I look forward to it.

 

Alix: Ewww. Fucking foot fetish pervert!

 

Charlie: Let's change the subject. Why were you dissing me in the staff meeting today? You kept saying I was overstepping my boundaries by not letting the Underground into the building? As chief of security I would think, deciding who gets into the building and who doesn't is within my jurisdiction.

 

Alix: It is within your jurisdiction. But you should've consulted with the true chief of security. Me. Your stupid idea to try and bar the Underground from the arena nearly cost us an entire ratings point! You should be on the employment line!

 

Charlie: How do you figure? As I see it, those Underground guys are nothing but gangbanging thugs. Growing up on the streets, I saw a lot of their kind. I'm speaking from experience when I say you've got to stomp a fire like that out ASAP. There was real chance for an explosive situation last week and I was just trying to make sure that things didn't go from bad to worse.

 

Alix: Waiwai!? Explosive situations equal ratings gold. Ratings gold equals success. Success equals big money. Your stupidity nearly cost us money. If you ever cost us money and ratings again, I'll see to it that you're fired.

 

Northstar(off screen entering the room): What's up sweeties?

 

(Alix's eyes light up and the sight of her big shot boyfriend. She rushes to hug him, but he side steps her and walks right towards Charlie)

 

Northstar: Big country! Big country Charlie Hoss, how the fuck are ya?

 

Charlie: Been better. I really need to talk to you because I have a problem. You replaced half of my staff with the cast of the Mighty Ducks....

 

Northstar: I know! Isn't that Goldberg guy hilarious? Oh, he his such a cad! Whatever. I didn't come here to talk business. I came to talk about you. You and your future.

 

Charlie: My future?

 

Northstar: Yes. Charlie, when I look at you, I don't see an inept rent a cop. I don't see the man who was pummeled into submission two short weeks ago. I see Hollywood's next big action hero. I see the man who will revolutionize the word 'bad ass'.

 

Charlie: I'm not...I can't act.

 

Northstar: Don't sell yourself short, doll. You've got the looks of Hugh Jackman and the talent of Matt Damon. I'm going to make you huge, Charlie. I'm going to make it so that women literally kiss the ground you walk on and their jealous husbands send you death threats and mail bombs. Big country, you've got skills. Real skills. It's time you used them.

 

Alix(poking Northstar's arm): Hi, Ching yan. I don't wanna change the subject but do you wanna maybe grab something to eat after the show?

 

Northstar: Shit, Let's eat now.

 

Alix: Wow, great! I'll get my coat.

 

(Northstar grabs twenty dollar bill out of his pocket and shoves it in Alix's hand)

 

Northstar: Where ya going? Dairy Queen? Get me a hot dog with cheese, a medium coke, get Hollywood a cheese burger, and if you could stop by the gas station and get Ragdoll some cigars that would rule. Big Country, you want any thing?

 

Charlie: I'm cool.

 

Northstar: Nice. Charlie, hit me up on two way this weekend. I think I can get you a spot in the next Batman movie. Peeps, I've gotta bounce. See ya'll.

 

(Northstar high fives Charlie and exits the room. Alix softly rubs the spot on her cheek where she expected her boyfriend to kiss her)

 

Coach: M.C., Northstar just blew off Alix. Could this mean the arrival of Chuck Palumbo is near?

 

Cole: How the hell do you link Northstar ignoring Alix with Chuck Palumbo coming to our show?!

 

Coach: My brain works in mysterious ways. Ways that your feeble human mind could never hope to comprehend. For, I am super genius and a super genius is not to be questioned by puny mortals such as you.

 

Cole: All right super genious, why aren't you wearing any pants?

 

Coach: I...lost them in a poker game.

 

Cole: No you didn't. You've been sitting next to me this whole time? Wait...this isn't your way of drawing in the gay demographic now, is it?

 

Coach: HELL NO...I mean, not to sound offensive or...

 

Cole: I'm pretty sure anyone who sees you with no pants on is offended. Fans, we'll be right back.

[Zack Malibu 0]

::Just a Girl blares out of the speakers, and the fans are on their feet! Crystal comes out and the crowd explodes.::

 

COACH: Crystal~! My girl is back!

 

COLE: Easy there, fella.

 

::Crystal smiles to the crowd, appriciating the responce::

 

CRYSTAL: Thanks guys. Sorry I've deprived you of the Female Phenom for the past couple weeks, but you know how is goes. I had some personal things to deal with. No matter, though. I would just like to thank all you guys. If it weren't for you, and your support, I wouldn't of been able to go as far as I went. I almost became the first women to hold the OAOAST championship. Unfortunatly, Calvin was the better man that night. It was a tough battle, and he won, no excuses. That doesn't mean that my quest for the title is done though. As long as I'm breathing and moving, I'll sacrifice everything to get that title. I won't try to go for the easy way, breaking other people's neck for attention, or sneak attacking people. As corny as it sounds, I'll get it the old-fashion way: by working hard. Now about this Deadly Games that is coming up on the 30th! Now, as far as tonight goes, and my membership as part of Team Malibu...

 

*Crystal is interrupted as Damaramu's ominous music plays through the arena. The fans all stand up and boo in unison as the man they all hate appears on the stage*

 

COACH: He's interrupting Crystal! What a bastard!

 

COLE: COACH! Remember last week?

 

COACH: Oh yeah....I mean.......Damaramu looks like he has something on his mind! Let's listen!

 

Damaramu: Do my ears decieve me? Do I hear you talking about me? You said that you made it to the top with hard work? That you don't break people's necks? That you don't sneak attack people? Well guess what little girl? THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO THE TOP! You think that you've made it to the top? NO! You are far from it! You may have worked hard but in the end that hard work will get you NOWHERE! Just ask me! I worked hard in Japan! I was the hardest working man in that entire god damn country! And what did it get me!? Blackballed! For making an old has-been son of a bitch look bad! No hard work doesn't get you anywhere but on the bad side of those less talented than you! So I came to America and that's not going to happen again! I'm here to hurt everyone in my way...to break people! And you know what that will get me? FEAR! People fear me! And when people fear you...you can do whatever you want! So no....Crystal...you are wrong. You do not need to be out here looking down on my methods! You need to look down on yourself! Because you are going nowhere!

 

Crystal: You know you have a big mouth! You want to make fun of me? You want to say that my hardwork will get me nowhere? Who's been fighting for the world title? HUH? ME! I haven't seen you in any world title matches! No fear isn't going to get you anywhere! Fear is going to get your ass kicked! Because I have news for you! Not everyone is scared of you!

 

Damaramu: That locker room is full of men who are afraid of getting broken! They've seen what has happened to those that mouth off to me! Ryan Smith! James Blonde! Pyromaniac! They've all felt the pain that I feel! They've all learned what it is to face a man with no fear! I have no fear Crystal.....that is how I instill fear in everyone I see.

 

Crystal: I've got news for you........I DON'T FEAR YOU! What are you going to do about that!? And you know what? I'm not going to let you hurt people anymore! What about that? You've just met your match!

 

Damaramu: My match? You may not fear me now....but you will....oh you will. *damaramu begins to laugh low and then louder....the fans all stand uncomfortabley as his evil cackle fills the arena* JUST YOU WAIT! YOU WILL BE BROKEN LIKE ALL OF THE REST! JUST YOU WAIT!

 

*Damaramu tosses his mic down and turns and exits through the curtain as his music hits. Crystal stands in the middle of the ring with a stunned look on her face.*

 

FADE OUT

[Zack Malibu 0]

COLE

I don't hear you running down Damaramu, Coach.

 

COACH

Are you kidding me? If I said that he had a gravy stain on his shirt, he'd dismember me. Crystal, I love ya babe, but I love myself too!

 

COLE

Oh for the love of...well, lucky for you we're going backstage yet again, where Crystal, and the rest of Team Malibu are meeting up with General Manager Northstar.

 

(The camera cuts backstage to Northstar leaning back, his feet up on his desk, the food that Alix got for him scattered across it as well. The camera pans to the side, showing Calvin Szechstein, the OAOAST World Champion, standing front and center with Ragdoll, Crystal, and the captain of the team, Zack Malibu!)

 

NORTHSTAR

I'm sure you know why you're all here.

 

CALVIN

I know why I'm here. What I don't know is why HE'S here.

 

MALIBU

Maybe because I'm the one who asked that a team be put together.

 

CALVIN

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that we're supposed to cater to your every need. How's that huge wardrobe of yours doing, pretty boy? Want me to call up Nike and have them send some samples over in your size, or do you have enough in mommy and daddy's trust fund?

 

NORTHSTAR

All right, shut up, the both of you. Now listen, Cal, I take great pride in knowing that you and I see eye to eye on a lot of things. Dare I say, I consider us friends. You and I both know that I'm not going to favor Zack in any fashion.

 

MALIBU

I don't need your favortism. I work for what I want.

 

NORTHSTAR

You do. I'll admit, Malibu, that I'm glad to have you as one of my main playas. You bust your ass in and out of this ring. You're an asset to this company. The four of you are, in your own special ways. That's why putting you together is insurance.

 

RAGDOLL

The hell do you mean insurance, man?

 

NORTHSTAR

He speaks! Well, James Dean, since you want to know so bad, let's go over this logically. Here in this room I have four people. One of them is a pillar of the community, fan favorite poster boy with both a World Title and a 24/7 Title to his credit. Next to him stands a girl with the will and the talent of ten men, and she can hold her own. We've got you, a dominant force in the most exciting division in wrestling. Finally, we have a man who weilds not only the power of being a World Champion, but is supported, or should I say ENDORSED, by corporate offices who are willing to back him with the almighty dolla.

 

CRYSTAL

Enough with the ass-kissing.

 

NORTHSTAR

Sorry honey, I'm not into that. Plus, I'm your boss, and it wouldn't be right.

 

::Crystal gets irate, but Zack settles her down, easing her back.::

 

NORTHSTAR

What I'm saying is that I can't afford to lose any of you, not now, hell, not ever. Certainly not in the middle of a ratings war, which we are doing quite well in, by the way. More importantly, not before our historic Elimination Chamber matchup coming up at the next Pay Per View.

 

CALVIN

Wait, let's get one thing straight. I'm the one at a disadvantage in that match. I'm the one with a title up for grabs, and you want me to HELP the same people who are gonna be at my throat?

 

NORTHSTAR

Yes I do. Not because Teen Idol over here got in over his head with CWM. But because the ratings are through the roof. Go out there, show these Underground guys that they aren't going to get over at our expense. Represent this company like the champion you are. You take care of The Underground not for anyone's benefit but your own. Just make sure that you all make it to the PPV in one piece, because I swear if that title winds up in the clutches of an IZ talent, hell hath no fury like a Northstar scorned, get me?

 

CALVIN

No need to worry.

 

::Calvin shakes Northstar's hand, and then turns to exit, stopping to stare down Zack.::

 

CALVIN

Zack, don't mistake this for anything other than a marriage of convienience. This isn't about helping you. This is about the company.

 

MALIBU

I'm doing it for the company.

 

CALVIN

(snickering)Sure you are, Zack. Sure.

 

::Calvin walks out, blowing a kiss to Crystal, who turns away in disgust. Ragdoll gets up and swaggers out the door, leaving Crystal and Zack left.::

 

NORTHSTAR

Is there anything else?

 

MALIBU

You know, I'd like to think I've got you all figured out, but I'm far from it. What's your deal? One minute you want what's best for the company, the next minute you're allowing The Underground on TV. What gives?

 

NORTHSTAR

Zack, see past your petty grudges, for one minute.

 

MALIBU

Petty? PETTY? I got my faced rammed into concrete by that bastard, and you want me to forive and forget?

 

NORTHSTAR

No Zack, if anything I want you to remember it well. Tension equals ratings in this business. Just don't let your emotions overcome the real reason why you're out there tonight?

 

MALIBU

...and that reason is?

 

NORTHSTAR

I'm LETTING you be out there.

 

::Disgusted, Zack turns and storms out of the GM's office, leaving Crystal to shoot Northstar the evil eye, and then follow suit, leavin the GM to himself.::

[Zack Malibu 0]

*The camera pans out across the arena as Island drums beat through the arena and the fans stand in unison looking at the entrance ramp with a general "What the hell?" look on there face. Finally the fans respond with a few cheers as an old face makes his way through the curtain*

 

 

Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentleman! Making his way to the ring! From Samoa, weighing in at 360 pounds....WILD SAMOAN FAQU!

 

Cole: Look Coach! It's Wild Samoan Faqu! We haven't seen him in a long time.

 

Coach: Yeah but after what happened to James Blonde last week I have a feeling that we won't be seeing him much longer.

 

Cole: How do you feel about that Coach?

 

Coach: I really can't say Cole...I value my life to much! You saw the threats Damaramu was making out here last week!

 

Cole: Yes but he was out here insulting your beloved Crystal to.

 

Coach: I know....don't remind me.

 

 

*The fans non-reaction turns into a gigantic chorus of boo's as Damaramu's ominous music feels the arena. The fans all stand up as the lights go out and a spotlight spins over the arena and finally dead stops on the man standing on the entrance ramp.....Damaramu. Damaramu looks around with an evil smirk on his face and then points to the ring at Wild Samoan Faqu as he begins to walk to the ring.*

 

Michael Buffer: Ladies and Gentleman...his opponent! From Moore, Oklahoma weighing in at 240 pounds........DAMARAMU!!!!

 

 

*Damaramu slides into the ring and then jumps to his feet and spins around till he's facing the camera side of the audience...and he points while staring stoically at the camera. Faqu beats on his chest and yells at Damaramu as Dama turns to him and laughs.*

 

 

Cole: Faqu is ready for business.....but Damaramu seems unimpressed.

 

Coach: That's because the man respects nothing....and nobody.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

*The bell rings as Dama and Faqu go into a collar and elbow tie up. Faqu then turns it into a sideheadlock. Dama sits there with his arms to his side as Faqu's face twists into that of a man who is squeezing for his life. Dama finall begins to elbow Faqu in the side and then backs him into the ropes sending Faqu running. Dama stands there for a shoulder block but Faqu runs right into him bouncing him to the ground and onto the mat.*

 

 

Cole: WHOA! I think Damaramu just found someone he can't manhandle!

 

*Damaramu backs up to the corner and gets onto his knees as he looks at Faqu with a look of surprise. Dama goes to his feet and they tie up again. This time Faqu shoves Dama back causing him to flip over and onto his knees. Dama once again looks surprised as Faqu beats his chest and roars at him. Dama stands up and seems to be going for the collar and elbow again but he ducks behind Faqu quickly and kicks him in the back of the knee. Faqu grabs his leg as Dama kicks him 3 times again very quickly. Faqu goes down to one knee as Dama steps forward and then back with a powerful back martial arts kick right to Faqu's face. Faqu falls backwards onto the mat as Dama turn and begins to stomp on Faqu's chest. Faqu tries to roll over but Dama grabs him by his afro and yanks him to his feet. Dama then begins to punch Faqu in the face, but Faqu seems unaffected. Faqu starts beating himself in the head!*

 

Coach: I don't think Dama is going to get anywhere beating this man in the head...he has no brain to hurt!

 

Cole: He's impervious to pain it seems!

 

Coach: Well I wouldn't go that far...I mean Dama did knock him flat on his ass a few seconds ago.....

 

*Dama then begins beating himself in the face and then roars at Faqu. Faqu seems a little take aback and Dama takes the opportunity to kick him right in the stomach. He then grabs Faqu's hair and knees him right in the face! Faqu falls into the corner as Dama goes over and begins to deliver hard knife edge chops to Faqu's chest. Faqu begins to fall out of the corner but Dama catches him by the hair and slams him back into the corner.*

 

Cole: Come on ref! He had a handful of hair there!

 

*The ref admonishes Dama as he ignores him and hooks one of Faqu's legs over the second rope. Dama steps back and then kicks Faqu right in the hamstring! Faqu howls in pain as Dama delivers another kick right to the hamstring.! Now Dama allows Faqu to fall out of the corner. Dama hits the corner and then delivers a chop block as Faqu steps forward, taking Faqu onto his back. Faqu holds his leg as Dama smiles*

 

Coach: Uh-oh Cole....I don't think he should be holding his leg.

 

Cole: Like a shark that smells blood........Damaramu is an animal!

 

*Damaramu straightens Faqu's leg out and begins delivering knee drops to the leg. Faqu howls in pain as Dama still holding the left leg stands and delivers kicks to the back of his knee. After about 4 kicks Dama falls onto the leg with an elbow and wraps the leg around himself...wrenching on the knee!*

 

Cole: That is definetly a painful submission Coach. I don't know if Faqu will be able to hold on!

 

Coach: The guys a fighter Cole! He won't give up this easy!

 

*Dama keeps the hold applied for a good minute before realizing that Faqu won't submit just yet. Dama stands to his feet in front of Faqu...as Faqu sits up Dama steps back and delievers a kick right to his face!*

 

Cole: Now the vicious streak comes out......

 

*Dama sees blood running from Faqu's face and pulls him to his feet. Faqu is hobbling as Dama yanks him around by the hair and pulls him into suplex position. Dama falls backwards onto the ropes and uses them to push himself forward dropping Faqu right on his face! Dama goes for the pin!

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

KICK OUT!

 

Faqu kicks out as Dama stands pulling Faqu up with him. Dama steps back and then begins delivering elbow smashes. Faqu is reeling as Dama delivers a rolling elbow! Faqu falls into the ropes and Dama propels him to the other side of the ring...on his way back Dama is waiting with a Yakuza kick! Faqu hits the ground and Dama mounts the second rope....Dama flies the short distance to Faqu delivering an elbow to the face. Dama goes for another pin.

 

1!

 

2!

 

3NO!

 

Faqu just barely kicks out before 3. Dama once again pulls him to his feet and then sends him into the ropes. Dama hits the other ropes and comes back flying through the air with a spinning back elbow! Faqu is down and Dama heads to the top rope! Dama points at Faqu as he mounts the top rope with flashbulbs going off from the crowd! Dama sails from the top rope onto Faqu with a flying elbow right to Faqu's face!*

 

Cole: He already took the man's leg out...is he trying to break his face now?

 

Coach: Is it two for tuesday? Is Dama going to break two things this week?

 

Cole: You know what he said about jokes Coach.....

 

Coach: Oh shit........back to the match Cole!

 

*Dama goes for the pin....

1!

 

 

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

3NO!

 

Faqu kicks out again just before 3! Dama appears to be becoming frustrated as he yanks Faqu to his feet and headbutts him! Faqu stares at Dama as he goes for another one and then grabs his head in pain!*

 

Cole: You don't headbutt a samoan!

 

*Faqu begins delivering headbutts to Damaramu and then steps back and delivers a savat kick! Dama hits the ground and Faqu pulls him back up and picks him up for a bodyslam. Faqu falls forward landing on top of Dama as they both hit the ground! Faqu goes for the pin!

1

 

2!

 

Dama easily kicks out after 2.*

 

Cole: You won't get it that easy...not against a world class athlete like Damaramu!

 

*Dama starts to come to his feet as Samoan Faqu locks the Tongan Death Grip onto him! Dama kicks Faqu in the leg as he performs the deadly submission however! Faqu grabs his leg in pain as Dama hits the ropes! Faqu catches him in a side slam as he comes back in though! Dama appears to have had the wind knocked out of him! Faqu heads for the top rope!*

 

Cole: It's the diving headbutt! Nobody gets up from this!

 

Coach: A major upset here!

 

*Faqu flies from the top rope and drives his head right into Damaramu's head! Faqu goes for the cover!*

 

Cole: It's over for Damaramu!

 

*1!

 

 

 

2!

 

 

 

DAMA KICKS OUT!*

 

Cole: NO! DAMMIT!

 

Coach: Watch it Cole! Umm...that Dama...what a fighter!

 

Cole: I thought he had it!

 

*Faqu stands and pulls Dama up with him obviously frustrated that Dama kicked out of his big finisher. Faqu goes for a powerslam but Dama slips out behind him and delivers a dropkick to Faqu's knee. Faqu grips his leg and goes down to one knee. Dama hits the ropes in front of Faqu and comes flying back in with a Shining Black! Dama then yanks him to his feet and pulls him into piledriver position! Dama pulls Faqu up for the move and then drops him right onto his head!*

 

Cole: Oh my god! That move makes me sick everytime I see it!

 

*Rather than going for the pin Dama pulls Faqu up again and begins punching him in the face. Dama then hits the ropes and flies back in to Faqu grabbing him by the head and spinning around him delivering a hard sleeper drop! Faqu lays on his back as Dama stands with one foot on his face! The ref begins admonishing Dama as he pretends nothing is happening while Faqu thrashes violently on the mat. The ref finally administers the count as Dama steps off of his face at 4.*

 

Cole: Disqualify him ref!

 

Coach: He broke the hold at 4 Coach!

 

Cole: Hold! I saw no hold!

 

*Dama pulls Faqu to his feet again and then smiles and spins him around picking him up in position for the Dama Hammer!*

 

Cole: This is it! The Dama Hammer! Hopefully this will end it!

 

*Dama screams and then sends Faqu sailing overhead straight onto his face with his neck being jarred by Dama's shoulder. Faqu's eyes roll back into his head as he visibley passes out. Dama rolls over for the pin........

1!

 

 

2!

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!*

 

Announcer: YOUR WINNER! DAMARAMU!

 

Cole: Mercifully Damaramu ends this bout! Dammit there is another person crushed in his path!

 

Coach: And he's not done Coach!

 

*Dama has left the ring and is grabbing a chair from ringside. He also grabs a microphone and lays it in the corner as he slides into the ring with the chair. Faqu is still out on his back as Dama stands above his face and then brings the chair straight down onto it!*

 

Cole: OH MY GOD! HE HAD TO HAVE BROKEN HIS NOSE!

 

*Blood begins pouring out of Faqu's face as he grabs his nose. Dama however straightens his leg out and brings the chair over his head and then straight down onto Faqu's leg!*

 

Coach: It is two for tuesday...er....thursday Cole!

 

*Dama smiles as Faqu rolls out of the ring. The fans seeing that Dama is going to injure another person begin throwing things as Dama removes the top of the stairs and stretches Faqu's leg over it. Dama then brings the chair down again across Faqu's leg! Faqu howls in pain as Dama stretches it out again and lays the chair on it! Dama climbs the guardrail and comes off stomping on the chair! Finally a host of officials pour out of the locker room getting between Dama and Faqu. Dama rolls into the ring picking up the microphone!*

 

Damaramu: CRYSTAL! You bitch I know you are back there and I know you are watching! So I want you to listen and listen good...what just happened there....THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FACE ME! I BREAK YOU! Little girl! You had better stay out of my way from now on or I WILL BREAK YOU!

 

*Dama tosses the mic down and turns and spits right into Faqu's face before exiting the ring and up the ramp to a chorus of boo's and garbage being thrown at him.*

 

Coach: I think his legs broken Cole!

 

Cole: This man has some serious problems...and Crystal...well I hope you know what you're doing.

 

Coach: She does Cole! Don't worry! If anyone can take this man out...it's definetly her!

 

Cole: Well I know she won't take Damaramu's threat lightly! Damaramu you'd better watch YOUR back!

 

Coach: Damn straight Cole! But what of Faqu?

 

Cole: I don't know Coach...I don't know.

 

*fade to black*

[Zack Malibu 0]

MC: We're back here on HeldDOWN~! and...one second...I’m getting word from our production director backstage that we’ve got a camera in the Totally Endorsed locker room, where Sly is currently celebrating his big win!

 

(Cut backstage; Sly sitting with his legs crossed and propped on the board meeting table in the locker room; chugging champagne, with the crooked ref looking on. Sly then spits out some of the champagne when he sees the camera, and whispers orders to his referee to leave the room.)

 

SLY: Glad to see that someone finally decides to respect me around here! Listen, I do need to relay a message via the beauty and spledor that is television. See, for a long time, I knew I was better than anyone in the entire X division, let alone that CHUMP...ion, Mad Matt. But tonight proved it. I made that flopping, flying fool tap out like the bitch that he is!

 

CAMERAMAN: Uh, Sly...he didn’t tap, he passed out.

 

SLY: SAME THING! Anyway, I do have a message I need to deliver over the television airwaves. You see, just like I’ve said before, I’m buddies with the World Heavyweight Champion, Calvin Szechstein, which means that I’ve got friends with a lot of power around here. I had Calvin get our lawyers to draw up a contract and get it approved by our esteemed General Manager, Northstar, which states, that at our next Pay-Per-View extravaganza, Deadly Game, it will be, for the X-Division Championship, “The Cripple” Mad Matt vs. the man who defeated him decisively and purely tonight, Sly “The Sly” Sommers! But, it won’t be just any defense, oh, no....you see, every time any of our forefathers have wanted to settle a score, but knew that any ordinary match or no-rules brawl wouldn’t be enough, what did they resort to? What’s the one match that, no matter how much hatred two men have for each other in this great sport, their feuds were always settled in this environment? What match was just violent enough that it finally settled Magnum T.A.’s astounding hatred towards Tully Blanchard at Starrcade 1985? What match was brutal enough that it briefly settled the infamous brotherly beef between Bret Hart and his little brother Owen? What match was so malicious that it was just good enough for Bruno Sammartino to finally exact revenge from his envious, bratty student Larry Zbyszko in front of a monstrous crowd at Shea Stadium in 1980? That’s right, it will be Matt vs. me for the X-Division Title....inside a 20-foot high steel cage! I’d like to see you try and climb out of the cage to victory, you damn gimp! Now, if you’re excuse me, Mr. Cameradude, I’ve gotta get my sweet threads on to celebrate not only tonight’s victory, but to pre-celebrate how badly I’m gonna destroy “Flat On The” Matt, come Deadly Game!

 

(Cut back to the commentators)

 

COACH: My goodness, how in the hell, after his leg was slaughtered tonight, will Mad Matt be able to defend his X Title in an environment where he must climb 20 feet up and down just to keep his cherished prize?!?!?

 

 

 

MC: As sad as it is to say, I think Matt’s reign will end just at the one-month mark, sadly.

 

Coach: Speaking of reigns, what abou the reign of Calvin Szechstein? Not only is taking on some of our best, but talent from IZ will be active in the first ever Elimination Chamber matchup at Deadly Games. Here, right now, is a look at the combatants in that matchup.

 

 

 

 

*A video opens with "Shooter" Jay Darring standing in the middle of a ring in an empty gym. He is closing his eyes, as if he is meditating. The sun lights up the dusty gym as the camera does a closeup of Jay. A calm, comatose melody is being played in the background and plays throughout the video. The song is sweet and gentle. Right after the close-up of Jay, the screen cuts to a black background with white writing on it. The writing reads:*

 

7 Superstars

 

*The video cuts to Zack Malibu kneeling his head on a turnbuckle. He is relaxed and gaining his energy for the Deadly Game match. He is also in an empty gym.*

 

*The camera than does a quick cut to Blurricane sitting on top of a high skyscraper. Blurricane has a serious look on his face and is staring down at the streets below.*

 

*The next shot shows Ragdoll standing in a dark alley sneering at the camera and smoking a cigarette.*

 

Compete In One Match

 

*As the comatose song continues to play and reaches a new note, the camera cuts to Crystal, who is working out at a gym. She looks up at the sky and breathes in a deep breath.*

 

*The camera then cuts to a quick shot of Puerto Rican Lightning. PRL is also relaxed. His eyes are close as he is meditating also. He then sneers at the camera for one quick second.*

 

To determine the One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.

 

*Finally, the camera cuts to Calvin Szechstein. He is also at a gym, albeit a very fancy looking one, and is staring at the sky through the window. He is holding the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder and has a serious, determined look on his face. The sun lights up the belt and the camera does one last closeup on Calvin's face, looking straight ahead at something else before cutting to one more black screen with white writing:*

 

Who will survive the Elimination Chamber?

 

*The camera shows parts of the Elimination Chamber. The music changes when a man sings....*

 

Cause It's A DEADLY GAME....

 

*The camera does quick zooms and far away shots and camera shakes as seven people are shown fightning in a dark alley. The people are shadowed by silhouttes but they appear to be the 7 OaOasT superstars involved in the Elimination Chamber Match. A rock song plays in the background as the 7 people continue to fight.*

 

DEADLY GAME

DEADLY GAME

 

The camera then cuts to the Deadly Game logo as the info for the PPV is shown:

 

OAOAST DEADLY GAME: UNLUCKY SEVEN

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30TH

AT 8:00 P.M. EST

LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW

CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELITE OPERATOR TO ORDER NOW!

 

[Fade Out]

[Zack Malibu 0]

COLE

We’ve come to the point where it’s time to put up or shut up. Tonight Team Malibu will take on Team UGW and we’ll see if these invaders are as good as they claim.

 

COACH

Yeah, but how will Team Malibu work together when most of them hate each other??

 

COLE

I don’t know, but I believe that the necessity of winning will outweigh the differences.

 

COACH

I don’t know what you just said, but it sounds good.

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen this match is an Elimination match! Team Malibu versus the team representing the invading force of UGW!

 

CUE: Smells Like Teen Spirit

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Coming to the ring, at a total combined weight of 1023 pounds, the team of CWM, J. Arthur Edwards, Gunner Sharps, and The New Me, TEAM UGW!!!!

 

(CWM walks out onto the stage to a chorus of boos. He is followed by J. Arthur Edwards, Gunner Sharps, and The New Me. Gunner paces back and forth as J. Arthur smirks and CWM talks strategy with New Me. All four men walk to the ring and step in where they stand, waiting for their opponents.)

 

COLE

This match has me worried.

 

COACH

Don’t worry Michael, I’m here.

 

COLE

Now I’m more worried.

 

CUE: Bring Me to Life

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Introducing next, at a total combined weight of 681 pounds, the team of Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, Crystal, and Ragdoll, TEAM MALIBU!!!!

 

(Zack leads his team out onto the stage and the fans pop for Zack and Crystal while some fans boo Calvin and Ragdoll. Calvin looks a little annoyed that he has to come out to Zack’s music. Zack and Crystal slap hands with the fans on their way to the ring while Calvin and Ragdoll shrug them off. All four of them slide into the ring and come face to face with Team UGW. The ref stands in the middle doing his best to keep control.)

 

COLE

They look like they’re ready to tear into each other right now!

 

COACH

Then let them go at it!!

 

The ref tries to keep control as insults are thrown back and forth. Zack and CWM are almost nose to nose as J. Arthur and Calvin exchange sarcastic quips. Finally the ref is able to send all but two people to the apron. The match starts with Zack and CWM, but J. Arthur taps CWM on the shoulder and asks for a shot with Zack in the ring. CWM agrees and tags out.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Edwards gets into the ring and bounces with energy as circles around Zack. Zack stands firm while watching the young lawyer contemplate his first move. Finally both men lock up and Edwards backs Zack into the corner. The ref calls for a clean break and Edwards obliges. Edwards then backs up a few steps and offers his hand to Zack for a shake. Zack looks confused and turns to the crowd, but they say no. Edwards offers his hand again and Zack slowly reaches for it, but right as his hand gets close Edwards reaches up and slaps Zack in the face!

 

COLE

Oh come on!! That was cheap!

 

COACH

That was also the oldest trick in the book!

 

Edwards turns to the crowd and gloats over his move, but Zack explodes out of the corner and takes him down with a Spear! He starts punching away at Edwards face as Edwards puts his hands up to block the blows. The ref runs over and yells at Zack to either open up his hands or back off. When Zack does not listen the ref pulls him off of Edwards and Zack puts his hands up to say that he’s through hitting. Edwards makes his way to his feet as a little blood trickles from his nose. Edwards yells at Zack for punching him and then goes to tag out to CWM. The crowd begins to cheer so Edwards stops and moves his hand over to tag in the New Me. The crowd boos, but Edwards just flips them off.

 

COLE

Can you believe the audacity of this young man??

 

COACH

Well he is a lawyer.

 

New Me enters the ring and waves Zack on. Both men then move to the center of the ring and lock up as the crowd starts a “LET’S GO ZACK” chant. New Me gets the advantage and whips Zack to the ropes before Clotheslining him down. Zack gets right back up and locks up with New Me again. This time Zack gets the upper hand and hits a quick Body Slam. Zack then quickly hits the ropes and Legdrops New Me. Cover.

 

1

 

 

Kickout!

 

Zack gets up and tags in Ragdoll who steps into the ring and motions for New Me to stand up.

 

COLE

They’re not so cocky now are they!?

 

COACH

My boy Ragdoll will take care of them!

 

COLE

Since when is he your “boy”??

 

New Me begins to stand, but Ragdoll Shoulder Blocks him down before he can even completely get up. New Me begins to stand again and this time Ragdoll grabs him by the arm and whips him to the ropes. As New Me comes bouncing back Ragdoll hits a Drop Toe Hold and smacks him on the back of the head. New Me gets pissed and pulls himself up before rushing in. Ragdoll sidesteps and sends him flying over the top rope! Ragdoll seems happy with the chain of events, but suddenly he’s pulled down by his hair by Gunner Sharps. Ragdoll quickly gets up and shoves Gunner, who then comes into the ring. The ref darts over and cuts Gunner off from entering as Ragdoll exits the ring and slams New Me headfirst into the ring post! New Me bounces off and lands on the mat, but Ragdoll hasn’t had enough. He picks him up and slams his head into the post again, which actually manages to draw a little blood. The ref finally notices what’s going on and orders Ragdoll to bring it back into the ring. Ragdoll grabs New Me and tosses him in before rolling in himself and tagging in Calvin.

 

COLE

I don’t usually condone cheating, but I think what Ragdoll did was a good idea!

 

COACH

There you go Cole! Now you’re getting it! Maybe someday you’ll be as cool as me.

 

Calvin picks New Me up and goes to punch him right on his cut, but New Me blocks it and punches Calvin in return. New Me fazes Calvin enough to whip him into the corner and follow it up with a hard Clothesline. New Me stumbles a little bit as he is still woozy from being thrown into the post twice. He manages to regain his composure and tag in Gunner Sharps. Calvin is slumped over in the corner and barely holding himself up when Gunner comes running in. Calvin saves himself by getting his foot up at the last second and knocking Gunner back a few steps. Calvin runs forward and hits a Chop Block to the front of Gunner’s knee, which takes knocks him down to the mat.

 

COLE

Whoa!! Calvin just took the big man down!!

 

COACH

Timber!!!

 

COLE

You don’t have to yell that in my ear!!

 

Calvin then grabs the same leg and drops an elbow onto it before standing up and doing it again. Before Calvin can continue he is knocked off his feet by a charging CWM with a Shoulder Block. The ref escorts CWM to his corner and during the distraction Edwards runs around and pulls Calvin out of the ring before slamming him headfirst against the ring steps. Edwards quickly returns to his corner just as the ref looks over and sees him. The ref yells at him for a second, but Edwards plays innocent. Calvin lies on the mat outside as Gunner makes it to his feet. Edwards barks out instructions from the apron as Gunner slides out of the ring. Gunner then picks Calvin up and whips him towards the ring steps, but Calvin reverses at the last second and sends Gunner in hard! Gunner hits the steps so hard that the top half flies off and lands a foot or so away.

 

COLE

Oh my god!!! Gunner Sharps just sent the steps flying!!

 

COACH

Sweet mother of mercy!

 

Calvin makes his way back into the ring and tags Ragdoll back in. Ragdoll slides outside the ring and pulls Gunner to his feet before rolling him back into the ring. Ragdoll then waits in the corner for Gunner to stand. As Gunner begins to get up Ragdoll comes running in for the Devil Doll, but Gunner reaches out and grabs him violently by the throat before he can hit it! Gunner stands up and shoves Ragdoll backwards hard enough to send him toppling over the top rope!

 

COLE

Are you kidding me!?

 

COACH

That man scares me! Hold me Michael!

 

Gunner grabs the ref and argues with him about something while Edwards drops down and grabs Ragdoll before hitting a Russian Leg Sweep into the barricade! Zack comes running over as Edwards takes off for his corner and rejoins his team on the apron. Zack stares him down before returning to the apron as well. Gunner slides out and grabs Ragdoll before rolling him back in and going for a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

3

 

No! Ragdoll kicks out!!

 

Gunner walks over and tags CWM into the match, but he doesn’t leave the ring. Gunner and CWM whip Ragdoll to the ropes and hit a Double Team Clothesline that almost knocks Ragdoll for a loop! The ref tries to escort Gunner to his corner, but Gunner breaks free and shoves Zack off the apron. Zack attempts to enter the ring, but he is cut off by the ref as Gunner grabs Ragdoll and picks him up for a Piledriver. CWM climbs to the second rope and comes off to assist in the move making it a Spike Piledriver!

 

COLE

Dammit!! This isn’t right!

 

COACH

I didn’t know you cared about Ragdoll??

 

COLE

I don’t, but I don’t want to see the UGW team win either! And they could have broken his neck!!

 

Gunner finally leaves the ring as CWM makes the cover on Ragdoll.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

3!!

 

COLE

No dammit!!!

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ragdoll has been eliminated!!

 

CWM laughs at Zack who is fuming on the ring apron. Zack comes into the ring just as CWM is tagging out to J. Arthur. The fans boo, but Edwards just gives his usual smirk before locking up with Zack. Edwards gains the advantage and shoves Zack down. Zack pops back up, but Edwards points to Crystal and makes a kissy face at her.

 

EDWARDS

Let the little honey play!

 

Zack looks at Edwards and asks if he wants Crystal in and Edwards rolls his eyes before nodding his head yes. Zack then tags out to Crystal who comes in and gets in Edward’s face. Edwards smiles and runs his hand through her hair, but she looks disgusted. Finally she’s had enough and slaps him as hard as possible, which causes him to step back for a second in shock. After a second Edwards drives his knee hard into her midsection and then whips her to the ropes. As she comes back he hits a Hurricanrana on her and goes for a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

No!!!

 

Edwards then begins choking her as the ref makes his five count. Edwards breaks the choke at four and stands up. He then yells at her to get up as he gets ready for his next move. As she stands he grabs her for a Swinging Neckbreaker, but she breaks loose and grabs his head from behind before hitting a Diving Reverse DDT! Cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

No!!!

 

Edwards slowly makes it to his feet, but he’s taken right back down with a Dropkick. Once again Edwards makes it to his feet and Crystal comes running in, but Edwards stops her and shoves her back into her corner so he can get a break. As Crystal stands back up Calvin makes a blind tag by slapping her on the shoulder. Crystal yells at Calvin, but he doesn’t pay attention. Calvin comes in and waves Edwards on as both men look to lock up. Calvin reaches for the lock up, but Edwards slips behind him and rolls him up quickly.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

No!!!

 

COLE

Calvin just tagged himself in! It’s like he wants to fight this Edwards creep!

 

COACH

Maybe he sees something of himself in him? I could see something of myself in Crystal.

 

COLE

Why did you have to say that??

 

Calvin pops back up and looks impressed with Edwards’ quickness. Calvin comes running towards him and Edwards ducks so that he can bring Calvin up onto his shoulders for a Fireman’s Carry. Edwards steadies himself, but he’s quickly taken over with a Crucifix Pin!

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

No!!!

 

Edwards pops back up and looks equally impressed by Calvin as the two circle around each other. Both men lock up and Edwards grabs Calvin for a Snap Suplex, but Calvin blocks the move and hits one of his own! Cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

No!!!

 

Calvin picks him up and whips him to the ropes, but Edwards reverses and hits a Spear as Calvin bounces back! Edwards then stands up and hits a Standing Moonsault onto Calvin! Instead of going for a pin he hits the ropes and then does a Senton Splash to Calvin! Cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

3

 

No!! Calvin kicks out!!

 

COLE

Edwards is focusing all his moves onto Calvin’s midsection! He’s trying to drive the air out of him!

 

COACH

Well we won’t have to worry about heating then because that’s all hot air.

 

COLE

Hey that was actually good…I can’t believe I just said that.

 

Edwards looks upset that he couldn’t pin Calvin so he picks him up and locks on an Abdominal Stretch. The ref bends down to ask if Calvin wants to give up so Edwards reaches back and pulls on the rope for leverage. The ref looks up so Edwards releases the ropes as Zack yells at the ref to watch what’s going on. As the ref looks back down he grabs the ropes again and once again Zack yells at the ref.

 

COLE

Open your eyes ref!!

 

The ref looks up again and Edwards lets go of the ropes. The ref then asks is he’s holding onto the ropes, but of course he says no. As the ref looks down and he grabs the ropes again Zack runs over and kicks his arm off the ropes. The ref yells at Zack to get back to his corner as Calvin manages to Hip Toss Edwards over. Once Calvin sees the ref is distracted he hits a low blow on Edwards, picks him up, and hits the Code Red Clash on him!!

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COLE

Yes!! Score one for Team Malibu!

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

J. Arthur Edwards has been eliminated!!

 

Calvin gives Edwards a smirk as he rolls out of the ring and tries to recuperate on the outside. As Edwards looks up into the ring Calvin simply points to his head and laughs. Calvin’s celebration is cut short when CWM Clotheslines him from behind. As he does it sends Calvin forward and into his corner where Zack makes a blind tag and comes into the ring. CWM looks pissed and braces himself as Zack begins punching away at him. Both men start trading punches back and forth as the crowd erupts.

 

COLE

Here we go!!

 

COACH

It’s on now baby!!

 

CWM manages to daze Zack and tosses him over with a Belly to Belly Suplex. CWM goes to pick up Zack, but Zack kicks him in the head. Slowly Zack gets back up and begins punching away at him again. The ref steps in to break it apart, but both men push him back and begin trading blows again. CWM whips Zack to the ropes and Zack immediately comes back with a Flying Forearm that takes CWM off his feet! Zack then gets down on the mat and hammers away at CWM, but Gunner enters the ring and pulls Zack off of him. The ref tries to get in the way again, but he is shoved aside by Gunner.

 

COLE

Dammit the ref is losing control!!

 

Gunner presses Zack above his head, but Crystal comes in and kicks Gunner in the gut. Zack uses the opportunity to slip out of Gunner’s grasp and he lands on the mat behind him. Gunner shoves Crystal down, but she gets right back up and hits him with a Clothesline that hardly even budges him. The ref steps in and tells them both to return to the apron. As the ref is distracted CWM grabs Zack and hits the Conspiracy Bomb. He then begins pounding on Zack’s head, but the ref grabs CWM’s arm and tries to make him stop. CWM shoves the ref back and starts pounding away on Zack again. Once more the ref grabs CWM and he has enough. CWM grabs the ref out of frustration and hits the Polly Cutter!

 

COLE

Dammit why did he do that!?

 

COACH

Oh man this is getting bad!

 

CWM then starts choking Zack in the middle of the ring when Northstar appears on the stage with a mic.

 

NORTHSTAR

No!! You’re not ruining this match by robbing it of a proper ending!! Flameout go ref this match!!

 

Flameout starts to go to the ring, but first Northstar whispers something to him. Flameout then makes his way to ringside and tells the ring announcer something before sliding into the ring.

 

COLE

Northstar just appointed one of his acolytes as ref!!

 

COACH

Can he do that??

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen I’ve just been informed that due to a disqualification…CWM has been eliminated!!!!

 

COLE

Whoa!! Alright!!

 

The fans erupt as CWM looks pissed. Zack stands up and sends CWM over the top rope and to the outside and the fans go absolutely bananas! Just as Zack celebrates the move he gets taken down by a Clothesline from Gunner! Gunner then drags Zack to Zack’s own corner and tells him to tag in Crystal!

 

COLE

Oh come on!

 

Gunner yells at Zack to tag her in.

 

GUNNER

Tag the bitch in!! If she wants to fight me then come on!

 

Zack reaches up and Crystal tags in without hesitation. Gunner waves her on and she immediately hits him with a Clothesline, but he doesn’t fall. She then hits the ropes and tries another Clothesline…but still doesn’t knock him down. Gunner starts to waver as she hits the ropes one more time and performs a Dropkick. Gunner almost falls, but he manages to keep his balance. Zack gets and idea and slides into the ring behind Gunner as Crystal hits him as hard as she can. Gunner stumbles and falls over Zack who is crouched behind him!

 

COACH

The old school yard trick!! I love it!!!

 

Crystal quickly goes for the cover as Zack returns to the apron.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

No!! Gunner kicks out with authority!

 

Crystal waits for him to stand and comes running in with a Spear that once again knocks him off balance enough to take him down. She then climbs the ropes and goes for the Diamond in the Rough, but Gunner moves and she hits the mat! Gunner picks her up and goes for the Chokeslam, but she elbows out and drops behind him for a Roll Up!

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

No!! He kicks out with authority again!

 

COLE

I can’t believe this!! She’s taking it right to him!!

 

COACH

That’s my girl!!

 

The New Me yells at Gunner to get control as Crystal waits for him to stand again. When he does she comes running in, but Gunner hits her with a Clothesline that knocks her for a loop! The fans let out a loud gasp as she flips head over heels and lands hard.

 

COACH

Nooooooooo!!!!

 

Gunner makes the cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

3

 

No!!! Crystal kicks out!!

 

COACH

Oh thank God!!!

 

Gunner picks her back up and hits a Full Nelson Slam before going for another cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

3

 

No!!! Crystal kicks out again!!!

 

COLE

Come on Crystal! It’s not worth ending your career over!

 

Gunner then picks her up and presses her above his head. She fights the move and manages to drop down. Crystal then kicks him in the gut and grabs his head for a DDT, but he grabs a hold of her and presses her above his head again. He then drops her down to his shoulder before driving her down with the Underground Slam! Cover.

 

1

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COACH

Nooooooooo!!!!

 

COLE

Dammit…it was just too much!

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Crystal has been eliminated!!!

 

COLE

The sides are now even, Coach! It's down to Zack and Calvin vs. The New Me and Gunner

 

COACH

Did you ever think we'd see the fate of a match lay in the hands of two men who have never, EVER, seen eye to eye?

 

COLE

They've gotta pull it together now, though.

 

Zack slingshots in, and is a HOUSE OF FIRE~!, as he unload on Gunner Sharps with punches that stagger the big guy. Zack grabs his arm, and uses an Irish Whip...NO! Gunner stands firm, using his weight advantage to hold himself in place. Zack tries pulling again, but Gunner won't go, and instead pulls Zack into him, and scoops him up in one motion! Gunner does a slight jog with Zack in his arms, looking to powerslam him onto the canvas...but Zack slips out behind him, hitting a low dropkick to the back of his knee!

 

COLE

Once again, they're trying to ground Sharps!

 

Gunner sits up, clutching his knee, and lifts his head just in time to get CRACKED in the face with a basement dropkick from Zack! Malibu goes for the quick cover, but Gunner shoves him off at the count of two.

 

Both Calvin Szechstein and The New Me look on from their respective corners, as Zack goes to pry Gunner off the mat. As he reaches down, Gunner forces himself up to his feet, pressing Zack in the air with two hands, and then releasing his hands, sending Zack crashing facefirst to the mat, flapjack style! Gunner, who is now noticeably limping, hobbles to his corner, and tags in The New Me.

 

New Me comes in just as Zack is getting to his feet, and locks a waistlock on him, then takes him over with a German Suplex, and holds on, rolling through! New Me rolls to his feet, pulling Zack up with him, and goes for a second German...and hits it! Again rolling through, New Me and Zack are back in a standing position, but this time New Me lifts Zack up for a back suplex, twisting him out into powerbomb position...THAT ZACK COUNTERS INTO A HURACANRANA!

 

COACH

That's what I'm talkin' bout! Nice move by Zack!

 

COLE

He's got to capitalize now, though. He has to make a tag to Calvin.

 

New Me is stunned by the move, but too fresh to be taken out by it. He rushes up behind Zack and grabs another waistlock, but Zack fires an elbow back, then another, trying to stun his foe. Zack pries New Me's hands off, then spins toward him, going for a Northern Lights Suplex, but New Me knees Zack in the sternum, then hits a Release Northern Lights Suplex, tossing Zack overhead! Zack holds his head, having smacked it hard on the canvas after that move, and as he's getting to his feet, The New Me charges behind him, jumping up and kicking Zack square in the head with an enzugiri! Zack falls forward, and New Me rolls him over, then hooks his leg. Flameout skids to the mat, making the count...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

THR...SHOULDER UP! ZACK GETS A SHOULDER UP!

 

COACH

Open your eyes, Mikey. We're still in it!

 

Calvin begins to pound the turnbuckle, a look of frustration on his face as it's apparent he does not want Zack to cost him this bout. New Me picks Zack up, and drags him to his corner, throwing him against the turnbuckles, and then tagging in big Gunner once again. The Underground duo work Zack over in the corner, each man taking turns at taking a shot at the former World Champion. Zack gets beaten down, and then pulled right back up by Gunner, as The New Me is ushered out of the ring by Flameout. Sharps grabs Zack by the throat, and lifts him up for a chokeslam, but Zack slams his elbow into the side of Gunner's head, freeing himself from his grip, but Gunner is only momentarily stunned and shoots forward at Zack with a DECAPITATING lariat, folding Zack u upon impact! Gunner holds Zack down for the pin, urging Flameout to make a quick count...but Zack kicks out at two!

 

COLE

Again, Zack manages to kick out. You and I both know he's one of the most resilient people on this roster, Coach, but one man can only take so much.

 

COACH

Remember Michael, the glass is half-full.

 

COLE

What does your drinking problem have to do with this match?

 

Gunner pulls Zack up, and then wraps his arms around him and SQUEEZES, holding Zack in a bearhug. Gunner uses as much pressure as possible, literally wanting to squeeze the life out of his opponent. Zack squirms, then boxes Gunner's ears, though the first time it has no effect. The second time, the big guy breaks his grip, and Zack falls back a few steps, weary. Gunner charges with a lariat, but Zack ducks, bouncing off the ropes and diving at Gunner with a bodypress...THAT GETS CAUGHT! Gunner sneers, and spins Zack's body outward, similar to D Lo Brown's spinning Rock Bottom, but before Gunner can slam Zack into the mat, Zack grabs his head and brings it down into the mat, spiking him with a desperation counter DDT!

 

COACH

YO~!

 

COLE

Unbelievable! I never thought I'd say this, but get to Calvin, Zack!

 

Calvin is waiting on Zack, even reaching out for the tag, as it's been a while since he's seen action in this contest. Zack struggles, as Gunner is rolling around, holding his head, and when Zack gets close to his corner, he reaches out...AND IS PULLED BACK BY THE NEW ME!

 

COLE

Get him out of there!

 

The New Me ran in and dragged Zack by the leg, taking him away from the corner! Flameout orders New Me back to the apron, and as he's getting ushered out, Zack Malibu MAKES THE TAG TO CALVIN SZECHSTEIN! There is (shockingly enough considering who's involved) a large pop for the tag, and as Calvin makes his way towards Gunner, he's cut off by Flameout! THE REFEREE DIDN'T SEE THE TAG!

 

COACH

Oh COME ON!

 

The fans boo loudly, as Calvin and the referee argue, leaving Zack prone to attack. He gets to his feet, but is held in a full nelson by New Me, who has snuck in again! Gunner Sharps is back to his feet, and seeing Zack in a bad position, he makes his way towards him, but Zack kicks him low to stop him in his tracks, then twists out of the hold and sends New Me crashing into Gunner! New Me falls back and through the middle ropes, out to the floor, while Gunner falls back against the ropes and rebounds up to his feet...RIGHT INTO A SCHOOL'S OUT~! Zack's superkick nails the big man, and it seems he's got a glass jaw, because Flameout makes the count once...twice...THREE TIMES~!

 

BUFFER

Gunner Sharps of The Underground is now eliminated!

 

COACH

It's two on one, Mikey! The numbers are in OUR favor now!

 

No sooner has Zack gotten the pin, then he's pulled out to the floor by The New Me! New Me spins him around, punching him several times, and then taking his head and ramming it into the announce table!

 

COLE

Hey, take it to the ring!

 

COACH

No kidding, I ain't gonna let you mess ME up!

 

Flameout comes to the floor and tries to break it up, but neither man will back down. All of a sudden New Me gets spun around, as Calvin has jumped off the apron, and is now unloading on The New Me! Calvin takes him and tosses him into the security railing, egging him on to get up and take his best shot! Flameout tries to break this up, but Calvin has had enough, and is wailing on The New Me! Meanwhile, Zack re-enters the ring, when suddenly the fans start booing loudly once again.

 

It's THE SUPERSTAR~!

 

Superstar slowly starts making his way down, trying to avoid being spied by Flameout. Calvin and New Me are still brawling tooth and nail on the floor, while Zack is shouting down at them. Superstar comes down and jumps up on the apron, and Zack spies him out of the corner of his eye. Malibu turns to his former protege, who smirks at him and dares him to make the first move. Zack responds by shoving Superstar off the apron, with Supes crashing to the floor! Angered, Superstar slides into the ring, with Zack waiting on him, and then quickly slides back out, confusing Zack, but everyone else can see why.

 

COACH

Who the hell is this?

 

Zack turns around, and walks right into the arms of an unknown man, clad in jeans, a black T shirt, and leather jacket. The stranger lifts Zack up, spinning him around before DRILLING him into the mat with a spinebuster, taking the wind right out of him. The stranger vanishes as quickly as he appeared, rushing through the crowd before HeldDOWN~! security hits ringside. Superstar hollers at Zack that "You never saw it coming!" as he walks back up to the backstage area.

 

The New Me, seeing Zack laid out, slides back into the ring and scurries over for the cover. Flameout orders Calvin back to his corner and then slides into the ring, seeing the pin being made, and does what refs do best...counts!

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

THREE!

 

COLE

Highway robbery.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, ZACK MALIBU has been eliminated!

 

COACH

I can't...who was that guy?

 

COLE

I have no clue, Coach. All I know is that HeldDOWN~! has one representative left, and it's the guy that none of us really care for.

 

Calvin gets into the ring, as a split-screen replay shows Zack's elimination, which was aided by Underground member The Superstar and an unknown assailant.

 

Surprisingly, Calvin enters the ring and aids Zack in getting to his feet, but gets shoved away for his trouble! Zack yells at Calvin, questioning his whereabouts when Zack was a victim of the numbers game moments ago, and Calvin shouts back, trying to reason with him as only Szechstein can. The two continue to argue, allowing The New Me to sneak up behind Calvin with a rollup, Zack providing the unintentional distraction...and it only gets two! New Me backs off as Calvin gets up, but instead of locking horns, Calvin turns to Zack (who is exiting the ring) and shoves him, drawing him back into the ring!

 

COLE

These guys have to stop this, now is not the time!

 

Calvin starts running Zack down, pointing out that he could have just cost him the matchup. The two get nose to nose, and Flameout tries to break it up, but gets shoved on his ass by Zack!

 

COLE

That's the second official that got involved tonight!

 

COACH

Well, to his credit, it's not like Zack can get disqualified.

 

Zack and Calvin, the two perennial rivals, go nose to nose, and just when it looks like it's coming to the boiling point, Zack backs off. Cooler heads have prevailed here...

 

(or not)

 

SCHOOL'S OUT ON CALVIN SZECHSTEIN~!

 

COLE

What!? What the hell!?

 

Zack looks down at Calvin, and then slowly exits the ring. The New Me, just as shocked as anyone else, crawls over to Calvin and hooks his leg for reassurance, as Flameout crawls over to make the count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

THREE!!

 

COLE

No! NO! I can't...what just happened?

 

COACH

I hate to say it, Cole, but Zack Malibu just cost his own team the matchup!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner, and sole survivor...THE NEW ME!

 

"My Own Summer" cues up, as The New Me raises his arms in celebration. Members of The Underground come out from the back, onto the stage, as their weary member makes his way up the ramp. Flameout exits as well, leaving a dazed Calvin Szechstein to recover in the ring.

 

COACH

I know people can say we'll never understand it unless we're in the ring, but what was Zack Malibu thinking?

 

COLE

Honestly Coach, I don't think he was thinking. I think emotions got the better of him tonight, and unfortunately for us, that allowed The Underground to put one over on the hD~! crew.

 

Suddenly, the post-match commentary is broken up by the hands of Calvin Szechstein slamming down on the announe position.

 

CALVIN

Did you see that? Of course you did! You people say that I'm not a role model, but did you see what your friend Zack did? THAT is what you expect of your leader?

 

Calvin takes his OAOAST World Championship from the timekeeper and walks away, heading up the aisle just as The Underground crew disappears into the back. The Underground have emerged victorious tonight on HeldDOWN~!

 

COLE

Fans, this situation shows no signs of letting up anytime soon. Team Malibu came out here looking to settle a score with The Underground, but now it looks like they're more concerned about settling scores with themselves!

 

(The cameras close in on the face of Calvin Szechstein, turning to the crowd and sneering at them, before draping the OAOAST World Title over his shoulder and disappearing through the curtain...the final scene of tonight's broadcast.)

 

*Fade Out*

[Zack Malibu 0]

PROPS:

 

Damaramu

Parka (major props for helping out more than he expected with the tag match)

Zack

Jay

Matt

Sly

Northstar

Cucharacha

PRL (for doing the PPV Commercial)

[Zack Malibu 0]

Bump, since it's not visible on the main OAOAST page for some reason.