ASHES TO ASHES!

[Guest Suicide King]

“... AND I WANT YOU...”

 

-Crowd “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG, THE PERFECT DRUG!!”

 

-Curry “MAN... listen to the Sydney Super Dome tonight!”

 

-Riley “Yeah... damn Aussie's love Drugs.”

 

Xstasy, the Upstart, walks down the ramp to the ring, bathed in the fire of the Ashes 2 Ashes set. His face serious, his jaw set, he slides into the ring, and recieves a microphone without the showboating he is usually famous for. His music dies down... but the chant... the chants are just beginning.

 

“X-STA-SEE! X-STA-SEE! X-STA-SEE!”

 

X nods, before bringing the microphone up...

 

-Curry “What's he gonna say?”

 

-Xstasy “Folks... here we are... Ashes 2 Ashes... the pay per view that Sydney Australia has been waiting for...”

 

“RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

-Curry “He's right about that.”

 

-Riley “Nothing else good ever happens in Sydney anyways.”

 

-Curry “Riley!”

 

-Riley “What?”

 

-Curry “Don't talk about our hosts like that. This is a great town in the land down under!”

 

Xstasy lets the crowd die down a bit before he speaks again.

 

-X “But I can't say that I'm too excited. Not because of you people... but because of something that's been bothering me for a long... long time...”

 

The people begin to hush as the Drug continues...

 

-X “You see, a lot of people have been getting chances in this promotion. A lot of people have been given a one way ticket straight to the top. A lot of people have done nothing but b*tch, moan, complain, cheat, gripe, and just be general assholes. And they get the biggest slice of the pie availible. Meanwhile... there's me. X... Phoenix Nightingale...”

 

-Crowd “The Perfect Drug...”

 

-X “No... the IMPERFECT Drug. Because apparently I'm not good enough. Nothing I do is good enough.”

 

The people are starting to hush again, as X continues.

 

-X “You all know me. You know I hate to bring you into all of this personal mess. But its a fact. The better I do here. The more I win, the worse off I am. The more I follow the rules, and do what I'm supposed to do... the less I get.”

 

-Comet “But... he's the IC/TV Champion...”

 

-X “They try to satisfy me. They try to placate me, and all of you people, by sticking this on me.” He holds up the IC/TV title to the crowd. “This belt is supposed to be the symbol of up and coming talent. Of people who have worked, who have achieved... who are ready for the next level. And this is my second time having it. And it just might be the most gold I see in this Federation.”

 

-Riley “Yawn... what's he talking about...”

 

-Comet “Shut up, Bob, I want to hear this...”

 

-X “But you know what's worse than that... what's worse than not even getting the chance... not getting any respect whatsoever. Half the boys in the back don't even talk to me. Don't even know who I am, some of 'em... and that hurts. It hurts that this place isn't a community anymore. This place isn't fun. There isn't anymore Midnight Carnival. There isn't any X Force Nine... there isn't any Phoenix Uprising... there isn any... well... anything.”

 

Everyone stares, confused, but X continues again...

 

-X “You know what... this damn place just isn't the same. No pride. No fairness. And there damn sure ain't nothing here for the Perfect Drug... so I'm gonna do something I should have done a long time ago...”

 

-Riley “Take your clothes off?!!”

 

-Comet “Riiiiiiiiight...”

 

-X “F*ck the SWF.”

 

-Comet “WHAT?”

 

-Riley “Did he just say what I think he just said?”

 

-X “Yes sir... I said it. F*ck the SWF. I don't give a rat's ass about this Federation, I don't give a sh*t about any of the guys in the back... and I especially don't give a damn about the rules and regulations that this ridiculous promotion is based on. I'm done playing nice. And until I get what I deserve, I don't want to play nice. I don't want to follow the rules. I don't want to beg, or gripe, or kiss ass. The only thing I want, is exactly what I deserve. And I'm getting it at the next pay-per-view!”

 

-Riley “Whoa whoa... what is he talking about...”

 

-X “Next PPV... this X-MAS...”

 

-Crowd “RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

-X “I'm winning the SWF WORLD TITLE!”

 

-Comet “What is he saying?”

 

-Riley “Who does he think he is?”

 

-X “And I'm daring anybody to tell me otherwise...”

 

CRACK!!!

 

“RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!”

 

Sydney explodes once again, as “Go Home” blasts through the arena, and the SWF Commissioner, complete with cane, steps onto the stage, surrounded by the flames of the set.

 

-Comet “Grand Slam! The Commish is here to find out what the heck's gotten into the IC/TV champion.”

 

-Riley “I hate to say this... but I'm glad he's here...”

 

The people continue to cheer as Mark Stevens lifts a mic up...

 

-Grand Slam “X, man... what's up with you?”

 

-X “Stay out of this, Mark...”

 

-Grand Slam “No Phoenix... you listen to me. You can't come out here and say things like that. You're not the one who makes matches. I am. What if that doesn't happen? Do you want to see all of these fans get let down? Is that what you want? You can't promise people things that might not happen...”

 

-X “Why should it not happen? By rights, I deserve at LEAST that much.”

 

-Grand Slam “X, even I can't give you everything you want. You have to work for it.”

 

-X “You mean like Flesher worked for it?”

 

-Grand Slam “Yes.”

 

-X “Like how he worked for the chance to get out of a title defense?”

 

The crowd “ooohs, and mumbles to themselves as Grand Slam looks at X, a bit of frustration evident in his face.

 

-Grand Slam “Don't go there, man...”

 

-X “Why not? Don't go there? Why shouldn't I, Mark. Look man, you've heard it all from me. You know my dreams. You know what I've done. But you haven't done anything for me. Yet look what you do for Tammy Flesher. You give him a four on four match. Four on four, Mark! With FIVE titles in that match. That's FIVE titles that don't have to be defended. Specifically... the ONE title!”

 

-Grand Slam “X, you know damn well that's not the way I operate. I signed that match up because those guys have issues to work out. I would never play favorites. I've put too much into this fed...”

 

-X “And so have I!”

 

-Grand Slam “I know, but...”

 

-X “Shut up and listen to ME now!” The crowd gasps, and Mark stares, more in surprise than in obligation, as the Drug continues. “I've put too much into this! I have blood, and sweat invested in this. I have sleepless nights, family issues, promises, WAY too much invested here! And its gotten me nothing.”

 

-Grand Slam “It's gotten you the title you have now...”

 

-X “And what's that done for me, Mark? What does it say to me when the person I BEAT TWICE gets a title shot, and a number one contendership match, and is getting another title shot? What does it say to me when the champion can make his own matches, all he has to do is suck up to you a bit, talk about how much he hates the other guys, come up with a haphazard idea on the spot and you go with it without so much as an inkling of doubt! What does that say, Mark? Tell me it's fair. Look me in my eyes right now and tell me that's fair to me, after what I've done... after what YOU know about me!”

 

The crowd, and the Commissioner are silent as X looks, almost pleadingly into Stevens' eyes. But he doesn't give up...

 

-X “Tell me, Mark! Tell me that it's fair! Tell me that it's right! Explain it to me? Please!”

 

Grand Slam looks at his friend, dead in his eyes, then looks down at the ramp, unable to meet his gaze, before speaking up.

 

-Grand Slam “I can't tell you that, X...”

 

-X “TELL ME! PLEASE!”

 

-Grand Slam “I can't.”

 

They both stop. Xstasy sighing, and shaking his head, half in dissappointment, half in pity.

 

-X “Then I can't tell you that what I'm gonna do is fair. That what I'm gonna do is right. And let me tell you something else, bud... if Flesher can make his own matches, then I can do the same thing. I've earned at LEAST that much.”

 

-Grand Slam “X...”

 

-X “You can't tell me that its right, Mark. Then I can't tell you that what I'm gonna do is right. You can't explain it to me... then I won't explain it to you. And you've had to deal with Thugg and his brother... but you KNOW us... you KNOW me... and you KNOW that after all they've done to you... I'm worse. I'm a lot worse...”

 

The crowd starts to shake now, and divide. Some are booing, but most are buzzing with anticipation.

 

-Comet “Maybe... he's right...”

 

-Riley “He can't be right... he's... he's just complaining...”

 

-Comet “He's standing up for his own justice. I have to support that, even if his attitude is a little disrespectful...”

 

-X “Mark... stay out of my way. And tell your new boy that he better hope he never has that title when I'm done... because if he does, then he WILL know ALL the Joy...”

 

-Crowd “OF EXXXXXXXX!!!!”

 

Xstasy drops the microphone, and slides out of the ring, as his music cues up. Most people still pop for him out of reaction, but some just aren't sure anymore. Xstasy walks up the ramp, past his friend and Commissioner without a word or a look. His face set strongly as he goes backstage, leaving Mark speechless on the ramp, looking after his young comrade with both bewilderment and maybe... just maybe a touch of regret...

 

-Riley “Ladies and gentlemen... sorry for that interruption... this show is gonna be incredible.”

 

-Curry “I just... I just hope X knows what he's doing... but from the look on our Commish's face, it doesn't look good. He knows just what X means, I think, and we're gonna have to see what's going on.”

 

-Riley “Meanwhile... ahemchangingthesubjectahem! We have some great shows lined up...”

 

-Curry “What could this mean for all of the fans of the Perfect Drug...”

 

-Riley “OKAY! Moving right along! Let's get this show started...”

 

TBC...

[Guest Suicide King]

The cameras in the arena come to life, the sound of the cheering around mingling along with the blaring sound of Nine Inch Nails' "Sin", the chosen themesong for SWF Ashes 2 Ashes! As the song blares through the air the camera pirouettes around, catching the millions of screaming fans in the Sydney Superdome as they wave numerous signs in the air. Ranging from "Craven Sucks!" to "We Want Annie Eclectic!" (complete with "Eclectic" scribbled out and replaced with "Onita") to the generic signs such as "I'm With Stupid" and "Smark!" with an arrow pointing down. The fans wave them wildly. The most popular sign of the evening however, seems to anything involving the Anti-Heel Machine - as everywhere the camera looks, there's at least two signs with his face or name on them!

 

It comes down to this.

Your kiss.

Your fist.

And your strain, it get's under my skin.

Within.

Take in the extent of my sin!

 

As "Sin" continues to rock through the arena, the camera stops its wild spinning for the fans and begins travelling down towards the announce table, where everyone's favourite pair of announcers is located! The camera catches Riley sitting down and hurriedly removing a sign that looks like "Smoko~!" from his chair, and Cyclone Comet promptly spots the camera and leaps to his feet!

 

"Fans and citizens, welcome to the beginning of the spectacle that is SWF Ashes 2 Ashes! We're here in Australia in the Sydney Superdome, and I, Cyclone Comet along with Bobby Riley, plan to give you the low-down on everything that's happening tonight!"

 

"Like the fact that Justice and Rule are going to take out Tom Flesher's team all by themselves?"

 

"I highly doubt that, Robert! Tom has justice on his side in the form of Wild and Dangerous and the Boston Strangler, and all Justice and Rule get are Erek Taylor and Michael Craven!"

 

"Whatever, Comet - you know that Justice and Rule can't be beaten!"

 

"Also on the card tonight, a shot at the ICTV title is on the line, when Unholy Trinity member Dace Night gets to take on John Duran for the number one contendership!"

 

"Speaking of the Trinity, isn't their newest member set to kick the ass of that annoying Japanese bitch-in-heels?"

 

"I wouldn't be so harsh, Robert...but yes, Terrence is scheduled to take on Annie "Onita" Ichiban tonight, and that will happen momentarily...."

 

Unfortunately for Cyclone Comet, it seems his sense of timing is a bit off as all the lights go down, plunging the arena into dimness. As the sound of heavy footsteps echoes over the speakers, the crowd begins cheering, even as the words [HEIGHT: 7'2"] flash across the Smarktron. The words are followed by a pair of walking boots, and then [WEIGHT: 360lbs] flashes across the screen as well. The dark figure walking on the Smarktron is obscured by the final set of words, flashing a dangerous red... [sTATUS: RELEASED].

 

I stand firm in my solidarity!

The path I walk (the path I walk)

I walk in with my own resolve!

 

The crowd stands up and lets out a tremendous roar as Killswitch Engage's "When Darkness Falls" rips out of the speakers, and the stage curtain is swept aside to reveal Terrence "Janus" Bailey – complete with trench coat! The behemoth looks around with a smile and thrusts his arms into the air! The crowd shrieks in excitement as black and white pyrotechnics explode from the stage!

 

When darkness falls (when darkness falls)

We are reborn!

A dream since the fall of man

We are reborn...

 

Funyon also has a large smile on his face, as the giant proceeds down the ramp. Rather than the Equalizer, he clutches a simple, normal cricket bat in his hand. Lifting his microphone, Funyon gestures towards the seven-footer.

 

"The following contest is a number one contendership match for the SWF Hardcore Gamers Championship! It will be held under hardcore rules and is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first... standing at seven-foot-two and weighing three-hundred and sixty pounds, from RIGHT HERE IN SYDNEY AUSTRALIA... I give you the Anti-Heel Machine... TERRRRRRENCE "JAAAAAAAANUS" BAAAAAAAILEEEEEEEEY!"

 

The crowd is practically giving the seven-footer a standing ovation as he takes off his trenchcoat. Rather than lay it down on the ring steps, he pauses for a moment, before turning around and whipping it into the air over the crowd for some lucky fan to catch! Ascending the stairs, he climbs over the top rope and turns a full circle, lifting his hand to deliver a thumbs-up to the fans and taking the microphone from Funyon for a moment.

 

"Quiet... please... just a minute!" the giant calls, his voice still soft and monotone as his theme cuts out. For their hometown hero, the crowd will do anything and quiets down.

 

"It's great to be back home and more importantly, it's great to be wrestling in front of all of you again..."

 

"What IS he doing?" Riley questions.

 

"Communing with his beloved hometown fans, Robert," Comet replies.

 

This prompts the crowd to start cheering again, and Terrence chuckles, brushing a bit of his black and white hair from his face, waiting for them to calm down.

 

"...but in a few minutes, I face Annie in a hardcore match. I know I've been nasty and brutal in the past, and you all know the problems I had with....’Janus’..."

 

The giant hesitates here, looking uncertain, before finally continuing.

 

"...but I'll have you know that I have no problems with this match! It may be violent, it may be bloody, but if there's one thing I plan to do tonight, it's have a damn good match and ENTERTAIN you people!"

 

The crowd explodes at this statement, performing a standing ovation for their hometown superstar.

 

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TERRENCE! TERRENCE! TERRENCE!"

 

The giant smiles, and holds the standard cricket bat above his head for several moments. It's not black, and it's not wrapped in barbed wire.

 

"Annie's done nothing wrong...she doesn't deserve to be Equalized...however, I make no such promises if I ever fight the Maori Badass!"

 

"TERRENCE! TERRENCE! TERRENCE!"

 

"In case you're wondering what he means, folks, let's show you what happened as we came on the air...after that villanious Va'aiga came out and insulted this crowd..."

 

The Smarktron flickers to show the Anti-Heel Machine and the Maori Badass standing backstage, where the seven footer questions Va'aiga with "ANY Australian?". Va'aiga simply pushes past the giant and continues on his way, and Terrence smiles to himself before walking onwards to the ring. After looking at this again, the crowd is ready to start booing, but they're interrupted by the sound of their hometown hero now in the ring.

 

"So let's get this show on the road!" the giant smiles, raising his voice to be heard over the crowd.

 

He waves to the fans with the mic, before handing it back to Funyon. Riley almost looks like he's ready to gag on the sheer amount of fan support for the giant, while Comet just sits back with a smile on his face. Even Funyon has a smile at the giant's little speech, and Terrence flexes his arms before taking a practice swing with the bat.

 

"Citizen Bailey saying he's here to entertain, not to be a brutal maniac! I admire his courage even more for saying that to his fans in the face of his former problems!" Comet still smiles.

 

"So he's NOT gonna pound her silly with the Equalizer... damn," Riley muttered.

 

Before Riley can continue his whining, the soft and slow beginning of "Risky Gamble" by Megumi Hayashibara echoes through the arena. The fans, unfamiliar with the theme, watch curiously as the powder-blue suit-wearing figure of Ann "Ichiban" Onita appears on the Smarktron. She has one hand cocked like a gun, and as the soft music continues to play, the camera pivots around her. Once it is dead straight looking at Ann's extended figure, she 'shoots', and a massive explosion of blue pyrotechnics goes off on the stage! The chorus of "Risky Gamble" echoes out across the arena!

 

Uso deshoo? Joodan ja nai

Pikapika no sainou

Sutete shimau nante mottai nai shi

Kamisama ni moratta ichido kiri no jinsei ni

Shoobu wo kakemashou gyakuten wo shinjite

 

Striding through the pyrotechnics is the Hardcore Queen with kendo stick in hand. She twirls it once and begins walking towards the ring, shadowed by a short-haired female in a white-pinstriped suit of dark blue. This second figure plays to the crowd, waving and pumping up the excited fans as Funyon lifts his microphone.

 

"And his opponent! From Tokyo Japan, she stands at five-foot-six and weighs one hundred and seventy five pounds! Accompanied to the ring by Allison Onita, I present to you a veteran you all know...ANN "ICHIBAN" ONIIIIIITA!"

 

Taking off her fedora, Ann passes it to her sister before climbing onto the apron and looking at the giant in the ring for several moments. Terrence tosses his hair back from his face, the cricket bat by his side, and offers a hand. After a pause, Ichiban climbs into the ring and lifts her arms to the crowd, before taking the giant's offer and shaking his hand. He murmurs something and nods towards Allison, and Ann cracks a brief smile and nods her head as if agreeing.

 

"A show of sportsmanship between these two, Citizen Riley. It seems Citizen Bailey was confirming Allison would not interfere! This match promises to be spectacular!"

 

"Yeah right - it's two goodie goodies bashing each other with weapons."

 

Letting go of the handshake, both Terrence and Ann step back to opposite sides of the ring, the Hardcore Queen lifting her kendo stick up before her. The Anti-Heel Machine pops his neck and crouches slightly, holding the cricket bat with both hands. Matthew Kivell looks at them both, then looks towards the timekeeper and claps his hands to signal the start of the match!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

"And here we go, folks!" Comet cries.

 

The two superstars charge towards each other with their weapons swinging. Lowering her head, the wily Ichiban ducks under the swing of the cricket bat and slams her kendo stick stiffly into Terrence's stomach! The seven-footer grimaces and stumbles back as Ann follows up with another swing of the cane to the side of the giant's leg. Again the monster grimaces but manages to remain upright as Ichiban swings her kendo sword around again and slams it into Terrence's side...

 

...and he stiffens in pain before wrapping his arm around the kendo stick! Ann tugs vainly at her weapon for a moment, just before a firm big boot from the Anti-Heel Machine knocks her off her feet. Letting the stick drop to the ground, the big man lifts his cricket bat and swings it down towards Ichiban's ribcage. The hardcore veteran manages to roll out of the way and spring back up however, and the giant is sent stumbling again as she slams a superkick into his chest. She quickly bounces off the ropes and leaps up, hooking the stumbling giant's head and leaning herself back to drop him straight down into a near-vertical DDT!

 

"A stunning exchange of weapon play, and now neither of them are armed, Robert!" Comet cries.

 

"Just watch, Annie'll grab another weapon as soon as she can."

 

"Well it IS a hardcore match."

 

Kneeling on the mat, Terrence clutches his head as Ann rolls back to her feet and picks up the kendo stick again, before slamming it down hard across the seven footer's spine! The crowd winces at the loud smack it makes, and the Anti-Heel Machine drops flat to the mat. He quickly begins to rise up again though, and Ichiban carefully lines up her next shot and swings the kendo stick at the monster's head!

 

*SMACK!*

 

Terrence barely winces as he catches the swing in one big hand, and pulls the sword from Ann's grip! The Hardcore Queen wastes no time in bolting for the ropes, rebounding and springing up into the air to try and take the rising giant down with a cross body! Catching her across his chest, the Anti-Heel Machine shakes his head before dropping to one knee, and Ann cries out in pain as he slams her ribs into his knee. Hoisting her up, he slams her down twice more, before rising to his full height and pressing her above his head. Finally, he throws her straight down to the mat from over eight feet up! Ichiban rolls on the mat, clutching at her chest as Comet fills in the fans at home.

 

"While wrestling in this business earlier in her career, significant damage was done to Citizen Onita's torso! This makes moves affecting that area that much more devastating!"

 

"So if we're lucky, the big guy could go wild and break her ribs, couldn't he?" Riley asks, beginning to look malevolently evil.

 

"If he were that evil, Robert, I do believe he could."

 

The Anti-Heel Machine leaves his opponent in the ring and slides out to the floor. Instead of stealing a chair from one of the announcers or Funyon, the giant crouches and rummages under the ring, sliding out a table before finding a steel chair. Rising to his feet, the giant turns his attention back to his in-ring opponent... who he spots leaping off the middle of the ropes. The resulting springboard dropkick slams the steel chair back into the behemoth's face, and sends him falling back to the ground as Ann lands flat on her back and grimaces in pain. The Hardcore Queen is the first upright however, as the giant slowly begins to sit up and rubs his face.

 

Sanguine redness stains his gloves.

 

"And Terrence has been busted open by that dropkick, Citizen Riley!"

 

"Maybe he'll be like that freak Wildchild and go nuts! Go nuts, dammit!" Riley yells at the Anti-Heel Machine.

 

The giant shakes his head to clear the fog and begins to find his feet... only to be knocked flat on his back again as Ichiban delivers a Drop Kiss square in his mouth! The Hardcore Queen gets back up quickly and grabs the chair, turning around to see the Anti-Heel Machine already beginning to find his feet again. He cocks his right arm back as Ann lifts the chair...

 

...and slams it back into her face by delivering a no-nonsense Knuckle Bomb into the steel! Ichiban staggers back and falls on her ass in surprise, shaking her head and still managing to keep her grip on the chair despite the blood now running from her forehead. She slowly climbs back up to her feet to find her opponent is upright as well - and charging at her with shoulder lowered! Both Hardcore Queen and Anti-Heel Machine go down as the giant slams like a freight train into the steel chair with a GOOOOOOOORE, driving it back into his female opponent's ribs! As they collapse to the ground before the announcer's table, Terrence has an arm draped across Ann's chest! Matthew Kivell drops down to count!

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....KICKOUT!

 

"The Hardcore Queen showing she is as tough, if not tougher, than her opponent!" Comet calls.

 

"Oh, come on Janus! Break her neck! Or her ribs! KILL HER!" Riley leans over the desk and yells at the seven-footer. In response to this, the entire Australian crowd starts chanting at the ambiguously gay co-announcer.

 

"RILEY'S A WANKER!" *clap-clap clap-clap-clap*

"RILEY'S A WANKER!" *clap-clap clap-clap-clap*

"RILEY'S A WANKER!" *clap-clap clap-clap-clap*

 

Suitably chastened by the crowd, Bobby Riley shuts up much to the amusement of his partner. A large hand suddenly appears on the edge of Comet's side of the table, as Terrence uses it as a means to get to his feet. A smaller hand appears on Riley's side, as Ann is also using the table to get herself up. Both shake their head to clear the cobwebs and the Anti-Heel Machine grabs his opponent around the waist and hoists her up over his shoulder, turning towards the announce table. The two announcers quickly scurry away as he swings her down for a high-angle spinebuster, but the wily Ichiban swings her body up as she goes down, grabbing the giant's head ands slamming it into the table with a DDT!

 

Terrence staggers back, holding his head as Ann stands on the table, and she turns around before gracefully flipping over in a moonsault! Dazed from the impact with the table, the Anti-Heel Machine fails to catch his opponent and falls to the ground again with Annie sprawled on him!

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO...KICKOUT!

 

The seven-footer doesn't precisely kick out of the move. Instead, he simply rolls the body of the Hardcore Queen off himself by instinct before rolling over as well and beginning to push himself upright. Clutching her ribs carefully, the less-wounded Hardcore Queen is already upright. Watching her opponent, she waits till he's up on one knee, and charges towards him!

 

"Shining Wizard coming up, Bobby!" Comet cries.

 

The giant lifts his head and his eyes narrow.

 

"Or maybe not, if my superhero precognition is true!"

 

Before Ann can mount the giant's knee to deliver the Shining Wizard, the giant rises and lifts her into the air! Twisting around, he begins to drop again as if for a powerslam - but instead driving her across that very knee spine first! Ichiban arches her back and cries out in pain as she rolls off the seven footer's leg as he nails the powerslam-backbreaker.

 

"And the bitch's attempt to hit the Shining Wizard did one thing, Comet!" Riley chortles.

 

"What's that, Citizen Riley?" Comet responds, knowing what the ambiguously gay one will say.

 

"Crash and Burn! Heehee!"

 

Climbing back to his feet, the giant moves without a pause, throwing his three hundred and sixty pound frame into the air and extending his right leg! Still suffering from the effects of the Crash and Burn on her spine, Ichiban can barely let out a cry as the huge leg of the Anti-Heel Machine crashes into her ribs! The air is driven from her lungs and the best she can manage is a faint squeak of pain as the seven-footer rolls away from her. Spotting the earlier discarded table, the giant steps over to it and unfolds the legs, setting it up on the outside. He takes a moment to pop his neck and wave to the crowd, who naturally cheer for their hometown hero.

 

And then the recovering Ichiban swings a steel chair into his back, causing him to make an inarticulate sound of pain. As he arches his spine at the blow, she takes a step back and swings the chair into his head like one would a cricket bat! The Anti-Heel Machine's head snaps forward, the giant's body doubling over and slamming head first into the table! The crowd winces at the pain of this move and Ann tries vainly to lift the stunned behemoth up onto the table proper. After several moments of failing, she steps back and taps the chair on the ground - waiting for the big man to straighten up and turn around. Slowly, Terrence Bailey lifts his head from the table and wavers on his feet, before turning around...

 

...Ann Ichiban lifts the steel chair up for a massive swing...

 

...but before she can utilise her weapon, a massive right hand wraps around her throat! She gurgles at the grip the giant has on her, dropping the chair in favour of trying to pry the fingers of the behemoth from her throat. The seven-footer continues to hold her there and in a desperate act to avoid the chokeslam; Ann lifts her leg and kicks the giant in the side! Unfortunately for her, the giant simply catches the leg with his left hand and lifts Ichiban high into the air!

 

"The bitch goes up...." Riley giggles...

 

*KA-RUNCH!*

 

"And... the bitch goes DOWN! Heehee!"

 

True to the callous announcer's words, Annie had come down alright - through the wooden table that the Anti-Heel Machine had originally set up! She sprawled amid the wreckage and was not exactly lifeless either, showing her fierce resiliency. Arching her back in pain, she writhed on the ground as the Anti-Heel Machine takes a moment to shake his head and gather his wits.

 

"Citizen Bailey delivers a MASSIVE blow to his opponent with that chokeslam, Robert! But it seems the blows to his head are already beginning to add up!"

 

"Who cares? He's got her now - that surely must've broken her back or something!" Riley chortles.

 

"Hardly, Citizen Riley, it seems Citizen Onita is using the time to recover as much as she can while Citizen Bailey finds his center of balance!"

 

Rather than find his center of balance however, Terrence remembers that his opponent is flat on her back and as such drops to the mat to cover her, hooking a leg and leaning his weight into her chest! Matthew Kivell leans down to count, making sure Ann's shoulders are on the ground!

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

......KICKOUT!!!

 

"What!?" Riley shrieks.

 

"Citizen Onita kicks out of that nasty chokeslam through the table! What a hero she is!" Comet chortles.

 

Terrence can't believe it either, rolling off the Hardcore Queen and sitting with his back to the apron, running his hands over his face and through his hair. The crowd, showing their appreciation for both the Hardcore Queen's resiliency and the Anti-Heel Machine's power, begin chanting for them.

 

"TERR-ENCE IS GOD!" calls one side of the arena.

"ICHI-BAN WON'T DIE!" responds the other.

"TERR-ENCE IS GOD!"

"ICHI-BAN WON'T DIE!"

 

Soaking in the cries from the fans, both Ann and Terrence look around the arena from where they sit. Taking a deep breath, Ichiban kips up to her feet to cheers from the fans! Almost right next to her the seven foot Terrence also rises to his feet, lifting a boot to kick his opponent in the stomach as she turns towards him! However, Ann blocks the boot, holding the giant's massive leg between her hands for a moment before spinning him around and driving a knee into his stomach. As the monster of a man doubles over, she shoves his head between her legs and moves to hook his arms... and the giant drops to his knees, slipping out of the move!

 

Still holding one of the giant's arms, Ichiban shakes her head and reaches down to grab the other one so she can lift him back into position. Abruptly the giant comes to life, rising up and scooping her over his shoulders! She kicks and tries to get off, but the giant begins spinning on the spot, not once, not twice... but many, many times. Finally, he throws the dizzied Ann's legs out behind him and locks her head in a 3/4 face lock, driving her head down into the outer mat again with the Thoughts In Chaos!

 

"Citizen Onita looking for her famed Daybreak Pedigree to finish the match, Citizen Riley! But Citizen Bailey slipped out of it and got a surprising blow in with the Thoughts In Chaos!"

 

"I'm not surprised - who'd want their head between that whore's legs anyway?" Riley grumbles.

 

"Probably most of the Australians here, my ambiguously gay cohort."

 

"Now STOP it with the gay insults!" Riley snaps at Comet.

 

Taking a deep breath on the mat, Terrence abruptly sits up before rising to his feet, looking down at his fallen foe. Grabbing her by the arm, he hoists Ichiban up and rolls her under the bottom rope before searching the ground outside the ring. Spotting the steel chair, he slides it under the bottom rope too and then climbs back into the ring. During his search time, Ann has recovered somewhat, and groggily pulls herself back up to a standing position in the corner of the ring. Blinking the sweat and blood from her eyes, she looks around for her opponent...

 

...and lets out a gurgling cry as Terrence swings the recovered steel chair into her ribcage! Staggering out of the corner, Ichiban clutches at her ribs and drops to her hands and knees on the mat, crawling away from her foe. The Anti-Heel Machine throws the steel chair aside and steps towards Ann as she shakes her head and begins to regain her feet. As the seven-footer reaches for her, she turns around... and swings her recovered kendo stick full force into the side of the giant's ribcage! The weapon splinters on impact and Terrence stumbles away, clutching his lacerated side in pain. Without missing a beat, Ichiban turns and scoops the cricket bat up from the mat and spins around again - slamming the Australian wood into the Anti-Heel Machine's abdomen!

 

"ICH-I-BAN! ICH-I-BAN! ICH-I-BAN!"

 

"Citizen Onita is on FIRE here, Robert! Not only has she turned the tides with her kendo stick, she's used Citizen Bailey's own cricket bat against him!"

 

"As if the bitch will win this match, Comet! Terrence is just too big and too tough for her to take down!"

 

In response, Comet points to the ring where Ann has the giant's head once more shoved between her thighs. Wheezing and in pain, Terrence can do nothing as Ichiban hooks one arm and then the other, looking around at the Australian fans. Hearing her name being chanted instead of his - it brings a smile to her face. Holding the underhook, the Hardcore Queen leaps into the air, prompting the fans to yell as loudly as they can...

 

"GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!"

 

...as she nails the Daybreak Pedigree! Terrence's head bounces off the mat, and the big man rolls onto his back, grimacing in pain. Ichiban flops onto her back as her adrenaline surge runs down, and she gasps for air after delivering her signature finishing move. Both superstars do not move on the canvas for about a full minute, before Ann rolls onto her belly and crawls across the body of the Anti-Heel Machine, trying to hook a leg as Matthew Kivell makes the academic count.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....

THREE....NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"TEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRENCE! TEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRENCE! TEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRENCE!"

 

The Australian crowd's chanting for their hometown star starts up in earnest as a tiring Ichiban looks up at Matthew Kivell, who holds up two fingers and points to the giant's great arm lifting off the mat. Rather than get frustrated, Ann rolls off the monster and scans the ring, picking up the cricket bat once more and watching her opponent like a hawk. Slowly, the Anti-Heel Machine rolls onto his stomach, facing away from his opponent as he crawls across the ground and slowly pushes himself up onto one knee, resting his hands on the canvas.

 

"Citizen Bailey barely manages to avoid a loss to Citizen Onita, who rather than show frustration, simply continues her attempts to keep the big hero down!"

 

"I told you she couldn't win! She doesn't have a chance!"

 

Tapping the cricket bat on the mat as if preparing to hit a straight drive, Ann "Ichiban" Onita waits calmly for Terrence to find his feet. Slowly, the behemoth begins to rise, and the Hardcore Queen steps forward and lets loose with a massive swing! The cricket bat arcs through the air towards the turning giant...who PULVERISES the weapon with a huge swing of the steel chair! The wooden bat literally shatters on impact, leaving Ann holding a grip with spikes of wood hanging off it. She stares at the weapon almost dumbfoundedly as Terrence lowers the steel chair with a half-smile. That smile vanishes entirely as Ichiban turns and thrusts out her leading leg, superkicking the steel chair back into the giant's face! The crowd 'ooooo's at the impact as Terrence drops the chair, eyes glazing over as he wavers on his feet.

 

Waving to the crowd once more, Ann steps forward and drives a stiff kick into the Anti-Heel Machine's abdomen yet again. The giant doubles over, blinking his eyes rapidly as if struggling to comprehend what's going on around him. Tucking Terrence's head between her legs once more, Ichiban hooks one arm, and then then the other. Standing over the steel chair, she bends her legs and prepares to deliver the Daybreak...only to find her feet leaving the ground as she's lifted up...and up...and up! Releasing the underhook as she's elevated, she finds herself dangling down the Anti-Heel Machine's back, as he reaffirms a grip on her legs.

 

And promptly whips her over and STRAIGHT INTO THE CHAIR WITH A HIGH ANGLE SPINEBUSTER! Ichiban lets out a strangled cry and arches her spine, as Terrence stumbles backwards and slumps against the ropes after delivering the hellishly powerful move of spinal realignment.

 

"Sweet superhero might, Robert! That spinebuster could broken Citizen Onita's back!"

 

"And I'd be happy if it did, Comet! No good same-gender-loving..."

 

Comet just stares at his announcing partner for a moment. The opening is there, but the successful superhero isn't going to make the joke. Instead, the attention goes back to the ring where Ichiban rolls off the chair and flops on her belly, contorting like a fish out of water and clutching at her spine. Terrence still leans on the ropes, pressing his hands to his face and trying to shake the cobwebs out. Ann contorts on the mat again, and them gamely begins crawling towards one of the corners, to drag herself back up to her feet. The Anti-Heel Machine watches her move away from him, and stumbles across the ring to crouch in the corner opposite the one the Hardcore Queen is moving towards. The crowd knows what's coming, and starts up a rhthymic stomping with their feet.

 

Ann "Ichiban" Onita slowly pulls herself up in the corner, leaning on the turnbuckle and staring dazedly out at the fans through a bloody face.

 

And behind her, Terrence "Janus" Bailey breaks out of his corner, shoulder lowered as he gathers a full head of steam lumbering across the ring.

 

And only through a 'wake up' shout from her watchful twin-sister does Ichiban realise there's a freight train of a man closing in on her spine! Planting her hands on the top turnbuckle, the Hardcore Queen pushes with all her might, lifting herself up in an almost handstand! A metallic *BONG* shakes the ring as the Anti-Heel Machine rams shoulder first into the ringpost, the impact making Ann lose her grip and tumble off the turnbuckle all the way to the floor, flat on her back!

 

"Citizen Bailey misses a Gore that surely would have won him this match, Robert!"

 

"Bah! The only reason the girlie avoided it is cause of her twin sister!" Riley mutters.

 

"Allison has been well behaved, Robert! She hasn't interfered once in this match as promised!"

 

Pulling back from the corner, Terrence drops to a sitting position, clutching his maligned shoulder as he looks around for his opponent. Spotting movement outside the ring, the Anti-Heel Machine lays back on the mat and rolls to the side, under the bottom rope and to the floor. Allison is checking up on her sister, and upon spotting the seven foot giant now out of the ring, she respectfully backs away. Terrence blinks sweat and blood from his eyes, and leans down to grab the limp form of the Hardcore Queen by one arm. He then stiffens with a grunt as she abruptly comes to life, kicking the giant square in the naughty bits on instinct! While the Anti-Heel Machine stumbles back, Ann pulls herself upright, locks in a front facelock, and spins around, taking the giant down to the ground with a spinning neckbreaker! But that's not all...because she crawls onto the fallen giant's back...

 

...pulls the monster's weakened arm behind his back and puts an arm around it, then reaches across the giant's face...

 

...and Terrence "Janus" Bailey abruptly comes to life with a cry of pain as Ichiban manages to lock her hands together and complete the submission hold known as the Triple C! Pain searing through his neck and shoulder, the Anti-Heel Machine struggles on the ground, as the hardcore veteran pulls back with all the strength her body has on the submission! Matthew Kivell leans by the giant's head, asking if he wants to submit - and gets an incoherent "AAARGH" in response, along with Terrence shaking his head madly.

 

"Citizen Onita with a suprise blow allowing her to set up her Crossface Chickenwing Clutch, Robert!"

 

"She kicked him in the MANLY BITS, Comet! DIdn't you SEE it??"

 

"The match IS no-disqualification, Citizen Riley. I admit the tactic is not a heroic one, but the fans are eating it up!"

 

Indeed they are, the majority of the crowd calling for their hometown hero to break the submission hold, while several pockets of 'resistance' are chanting for Ichiban to make the giant tap out! She cranks back on the submission hold with all her might, knowing she's doing damage, when she sees something out of the corner of her eye. The giant's free arm, planting itself against the ground. She grimaces and pulls back hard on the Triple C, which is rewarding enough to elicit another cry of pain. But the pain is secondary to victory in the mind ofc the seven foot Anti-Heel Machine, and pushes against the ground with his free arm! Slowly, pain shooting through every fibre of his shoulder, the big man begins pushing himself up.

 

"LET'S GO TERRENCE, LET'S GO!" *clap-clap*

"LET'S GO TERRENCE, LET'S GO!" *clap-clap*

"LET'S GO TERRENCE, LET'S GO!" *clap-clap*

 

Shaking her head rapidly, the Hardcore Queen yanks at the giant's bad shoulder, but the adrenaline is beginning to surge through the big man's veins as his hometown cheers for him. Lifting his body all the way off the ground with just one arm, the Anti-Heel Machine begins to put a leg under himself. Rather than leave herself in a comprising position, Ann "Ichiban" Onita releases her submission hold and slides down Terrence's back, allowing him to regain his feet! The big man clutches at his torqued shoulder, grimacing in pain as he shakes out his semi-numbed arm...and then finds himself shoved forward into the ringpost headfirst! Again there's the metallic *BONG* of something hitting steel, and the Anti-Heel Machine almost falls over like a tree.

 

Almost, because the Hardcore Queen supports the giant and half-lifts, half-shoves him under the bottom rope and back into the ring. She takes a moment to rub her sore spine and grimace, before sliding into the ring as well, picking up the much maligned steel chair. Nearly exhausted from the brutal battle between herself and the seven footer, she holds the chair up and waits as the giant lifts his arms to the top ropes and begins to pull himself upright.

 

*CRACK!*

 

The giant's earlier-torqued left arm goes almost limp at the firm chairshot, and he attempts to shake the arm out as he stands upright.

 

*CRACK!*

 

Only to have the sense knocked out of him as Ichiban reaches up high and slams the chair into his face! Stumbling back, the Anti-Heel Machine slumps against the ropes as Ann backs up across the ring before charging forward, chair in hand! She lifts it on high...

 

...spots the giant raising his boot...

 

...and throws the chair aside before doing a baseball slide right into the giant's only supporting leg! Again the monster of a man staggers, and only the ropes keep him from falling flat on his arse again. Scrambling upright, the Hardcore Queen grabs the giant's bad arm. And using all her power, she starts to irish whip him across the ring towards the opposite corner!

 

"Irish Whip..." Riley calls boredly.

 

But the Anti-Heel Machine puts on three hundred and sixty pounds worth of brakes, and reverses the whip, slinging Ichiban towards the corner instead!

 

"Reversed by Citizen Bailey! He's following her in!" Comet calls.

 

Indeed, as Ann "Ichiban" Onita is thrown across the ring, the seven foot Anti-Heel Machine is lumbering after her. Hearing the giant's footsteps, feeling the adrenaline surging one last time in her body, the Hardcore Queen decides it's time for an all-or-nothing approach. The crowd lets out a collective 'oooo' of appreciation as, instead of slamming into the turnbuckles, Ann steps on the bottom one...

 

...the middle one...

 

...and up to the top one, before leaping off backwards in a graceful moonsault! The cameras flash as she arches her body through the air with all the energy she has left, hoping to catch her lumbering opponent offguard! The first thing she sees is a flash of white hair...before the giant CATCHES her across the unworked side of his body, hanging her over his shoulder! Wrapping his good arm around her body, the giant staggers on his feet. He begins to stumble backwards across the ring as he wraps his bad arm around the head of the Hardcore Queen, on the verge of losing his balance...

 

...before FALLING ON HIS ASS AND CRUSHING HER HEAD INTO THE DISCARDED STEEL CHAIR WITH THE ADF II!

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

"Did you see THAT, Robert!? A desperate moonsault from Citizen Onita, but Citizen Bailey manages to catch her and drop her full force on her skull with the move he calls the ADF II! I don't think Citizen Onita is even moving!" Comet roars.

 

"What in the HELL was that move anyway!?" Riley yells.

 

"Are you hard of hearing, Citizen Riley? I just told you!" Comet hollers at him.

 

"Well, he practically KILLED her with it!" the ambigiously gay coannouncer hollers right back.

 

Indeed, Ann "Ichiban" Onita collapses to the mat like jello, sprawling limply on the mat. Sitting next to her, Terrence stares out at the fans, before leaning to the side and falling across her body, hooking a leg as Matthew Kivell drops down to check the Hardcore Queen's shoulders.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....

THREE!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

The sound of "When Darkness Falls" echoes out across the arena, prompting the fans to go into an uproar! Lifting himself off Ann's body, Terrence "Janus" Bailey sits in the middle of the ring, staring out at his hometown crowd. The heavy sounds of his themesong blaring in the background, he still hears Funyon's announcement over the PA system.

 

"The winner of this bout....and NUMBER ONE contender to the HARDCORE GAMERS CHAMPIONSHIP.....the ANTI-HEEL MACHINE......TERRENCE..."JANUS"....BAAAAAAAILEEEEEEEEEY!"

 

The instant the bell is rung, Allison slides into the ring to check on her sister. Ann groans weakly, twitching but completely out of it. Her sister begins helping her to her feet, but a large hand on her arm stops her. Slowly rising to his feet and stumbling, the Anti-Heel Machine gently lifts Ann "Ichiban" Onita to her feet, letting Allison get a supportive grip on her sister's body, before moving slowly to the ropes and parting them for the sisters.

 

"A true view of sportsmanship from Citizen Bailey, helping Citizen Onita and her sister from the ring, Robert!"

 

"Dammit, why IS he so goodie goodie! We want the neck breaking badass back, dammit!"

 

Only after Ann and Allison are out of the ring does the giant slide out himself, slowly lowering himself to the mat and walking with his opponent up the aisle as "When Darkness Falls" continues to rip out of the speakers, showing that here, in his hometown, the Anti-Heel Machine reigns supreme.

 

I stand firm in my solidarity!

The path I walk (the path I walk)

I walk in with my own resolve!

When darkness falls (when darkness falls)

We are reborn!

A dream since the fall of man

We are reborn...

 

The camera pans away from the victorious Terrence helping his opponent backstage, and back to the announce table where Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet continue to sit. Calming down after the opening match of the night, Comet looks at the camera and addresses the fans.

 

"That was merely the opening match of SWF Ashes 2 Ashes, fans and citizens! We have to go to commercial right now, but when we come back, we have the villainous John Duran taking on the heroic man-killer Dace..."

 

And there goes the crowd! "FUCKING!"

 

"...Night! Don't go away!"

 

The camera swivels around again, and catches one last view of Ann "Ichiban" Onita, her sister Allison, and Terrence "Janus" Bailey all standing in the entranceway before the threesome disappear backstage. We fade to a commercial advertising some sort of Australian cologne, as advertised by everyone's favourite sexy male superstar Crow.

[Guest Suicide King]

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, we the staff and wrestlers of the SWF welcome all of you to the GREATEST PAY PERVIEW EXTRAVAGANZA THAT AUSTRALIA HAS EVER SEEN! Would everybody in the arena tonight please rise and pay respect to the national anthem of Australia…

 

The arena is filled with the music and the voices of a capacity crowd, largely consisting of rabidly cheering Australian fans, hearts filled with national pride as Funyon’s booming singing voice echos out among them.

 

Australians all let us rejoice

For we are young and free

We've golden soil and wealth for toil

Our home is girt by sea

Our land abounds in nature's gifts

Of beauty rich and rare

In history's page, let every stage

Advance Australia F….

 

…when from out of nowhere Funyon is sent flying by a VICIOUS tackle as a muscular hooded figure bolts out of the crowd and smashes shoulder first into the stylishly dressed ring announcer’s abdomen.

 

Comet: SOMEONE ATTACKED FUNYON! Who in this federation would be so vicious. So callous, so hateful as to leap into the ring and shoulder tackle our announcer DURING the singing of this fair country’s national anthem?

 

The crowd goes INSANE with a deafening, headache inducing, roof raising round of vicious boos and catcalls as the assailant throws off his hooded shirt revealing a New Zealand All Blacks rugby jersey and a heavily tattooed face.

 

Va’aiga: BOO-YAH!

 

Riley: It’s the Maori Badass. And…

 

Comet: And?

 

Riley: And… well even I’m appalled.

 

Comet: Citizen Robert? Are you feeling OK?

 

Riley: Well you know it takes a lot to shock me, but attacking Funyon during the national anthem. That’s just low.

 

Comet: Amen.

 

Va’aiga back heels the microphone away from the rapidly scurrying away Australian announcer and lifts it up to his mouth. The Maori takes a deep breath and glares out, forcing his baleful gaze onto any fan who dares to even make eye contact with him. Va’aiga waits for the boos and jeers to die down a little before his low, sinister voice rings out…

 

Va’aiga: CHEATS!

 

The crowd screams out a whole heap more boos as Va’aiga smiles to himself and turns through ninety degrees and walks over to address a different portion of the fans.

 

Va’aiga: LIARS!

 

Va’aiga absorbs the jeers and security has to move to haul out a fan who throws a half full beer cup into the ring, narrowly missing splashing the Maori Badass. The Maori turns to the third side of the Sydney Super Dome and with a wicked grin repeats:

 

Va’aiga: FRAUDS!

 

Va’aiga turns to the fourth and final side as already security are straining to hold the fans back from rushing the ring.

 

Va’aiga: YOU’RE ALL NOTHING BUT A NATION OF CHEATS! Paid off referee. Late tackles. No team comes back from the Bledisoe Cup THRASHINGS we’ve given you over the past 4 years to win like that. As far as THIS All Black is concerned the ONLY Time the All Blacks and the Wallbies have met in that stadium is when we put fifty points past you going on to MURDER you in the Tri-Nations.

 

The crowd starts a small chant, which quickly spreads like wildfire. “CHOKE! CHOKE! CHOKE!” Va’aiga’s eyes bulge, his veins stand out, his face becomes a picture of pure anger and hatred.

 

Va’aiga: NO! NO! WE DID NOT CHOKE! YOU! YOU LOW, DIRTY, SCUM OF THE EARTH PEOPLE CHEATED YOUR WAY TO THAT WIN, AND IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS, YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT. Oh I’m mad. I’m SO mad. And it’s each of one of you, you god damn WHAKANGA PIAPIA! I am so mad, and that means one thing… SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET *HURT*!

 

Va’aiga pauses to take in some MORE boos and flashes another sadistic look into the crowd.

 

Va’aiga: And I’m here in Australia. And as I walked off the plane after spending time in my native land, in the islands of the long cloud, I got to thinking. I thought to myself, Va’aiga, what IS an Australian? Is it a low down dirty hooker like Nicole Kidman, going down on some fat bald aging producer to get her next role? Is it a rabid drunk like Russell Crowe, punching out a guy in a drunken rage cos he can’t handle even the most piss weak of Australian lager? Is it making your fortune like Steve Irwin, famous for being little more than a classroom clown near dangerous animals?

 

The fans are practically foaming at the mouth, looking not just to boo Va’aiga, but given the chance to skin him alive.

 

Va’aiga: Well… when you go leave here tonight, slap your akubra hat on, when you get in your ute, chain up your heeler in the back and call your skanky little wife to tell her to have the vegemite sandwich ready… know that you’re all of these things, and so much worse, you GOD DAMNED IGNORANT KURI UWHA!!!

 

The crowd changes chat to that most Australian of insults… “WAAAAAAAAAAANKER! WAAAAAAAAAAAAANKER!”

 

Va’aiga: You think I’m a wanker? Well maybe I am. Maybe doing a two hand job on myself is better than catching something of any of the King’s Cross ho’s that I see here tonight. Maybe it’s that I can’t handle the screams, cos you bitches are so used to little limp, brewer’s droop wieners rather than a REAL MAORI PU RO’A!

 

Va’aiga pauses to absorb some more boos and looks down into the front row where one of the fans is trying to jump the guardrail. Security restrains him and starts taking the fuming Syndey native out, as the fans begin a chant of “LET HIM GO! LET HIM GO!”

 

Va’aiga: Yeah damn straight let him go. Let him go and watch as I lariat his head into Tasmania. Let him go and watch as I tear him apart in front of his home crowd, in front of his friends, his family. There isn’t any man here tonight… hell there isn’t any AUSTRALIAN who can take on the Maori Badass one on one and escape with his life intact. ANY AUSTRALIAN.

 

…

 

…

 

 

BOO-YAH!

 

Va’aiga throws down the microphone and smiles to himself as he walks slowly down the entrance ramp. More insults, some totally unbroadcastable rain down on the Maori as he walks out into the entrance ramp.

 

Comet: The Maori is here tonight, and he has little but contempt for the fine people of Australia.

 

Riley: Contempt I disagree with that. Ingrained hatred is nearer the mark I think. Fine people, I disagree with that too. In fact the Maori Badass is right.

 

Va’aiga steps through the entrance gate and the camera view switches to him walking into the dressing room area. As Va’aiga walks down the mazelike corridors, smiling, pleased with himself, a seven foot shadow falls across the Maori Badass. Silence reigns in the hallway as Va'aiga and Terrence Bailey stare at each other.

 

Terrence: ANY Australian?

 

Va'aiga pauses for a moment, then shoulders past the giant to get to his dressing room. The camera swings back to focus on the titanic Australian for a moment, and he smiles to himself before continuing on his path towards the entrance way.

[Guest Suicide King]

Once again back in the Sydney Superdome, the camera pans around the jam packed Australian crowd, still hot after their rugby victory over New Zealand the day before. Signs like “VA’AIGA HAS A DEATHWISH” “ICHIBAN IS NO. 1” “AUSTRALIA > NEW ZEALAND” can be seen all around the crowd

 

Comet: “Welcome back Citizens to Ashes To Ashes! We’ve just had a battle of an opening match between Terrence Bailey and Annie Onita. We’ve still got more action to come, including the Elimination Eight Man Tag in the Main Event. Along with this grudge match between Va’aiga and Danny Williams.”

 

Riley: “And trust me Comet, Danny Williams is gonna get the beating he deserves for treating Va’aiga that way for so long. Pay back is coming!”

 

Comet: “I don’t think many people would agree with you on that one Citizen Riley. But now, to the second of tonight’s matches and the second Unholy Trinity match of the night.”

 

Riley: “We have John Duran, a man criminally underrated by man people around here Comet. A man that was cheated out of a win over Wild and Dangerous on the last show. Even after showing he could hang in there with the Maori Badass. Against that complete sucker Dace Night. This is going to be the night for The Sinner to show the fans how good he really is!”

 

Comet: “Let’s not forget that a shot at the ICTV title is on the line in this match as well. So these two men have more than just pride on line tonight.”

 

Funyon steps into the ring, with his colour matched suit, fitting in perfectly with brilliant stage set as Referee Hardcastle follows him, waiting in the corner.

 

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the following one on one contest will be for one fall and will be for the number one contendership to the ICTV Title!”

 

YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

 

Funyon: “Introducing firstly, from Birmingham England, weighing in at two hundred and fifty two pounds, representing the Unholy Trinity, he is … DACE …”

 

FUCKING!

 

Funyon: “NIGHT!”

 

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

 

The lights in the Sydney Superdome fade out as a wall of black smoke pours out from the set, obscuring it from view as the first bit of static crackles out into the screaming shredding of Captor Of Sin. The lights exploding into a twisting pattern of red and purple. As Dace Night strides down through the smoke, burst of white pyro following down the ramp, looking from side to side at the fans, grinning and tagging hands with a few of them. Sliding into the ring, Dace pulls his t shirt off and tosses it into the crowd before raising his tattoo covered arm to the fans in the horns. Circling the ring, posing the fans as cameras flash. Flexing on the ring ropes, Horrorcore leans back and waits for Duran.

 

Funyon: “And his opponent, from Champaign, Illinois, weighing in at two hundred sixty five pounds, he is ‘THE SINNER’ JOHN DURAN!”

 

BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Sin to Win flashes on the Smarktron as Sinner kicks into life. Dressed in his traditional black tights with Duran down each leg, The Sinner paces down the ramp, waving on the crowds booing. Stopping at the bottom of the ramp, Duran leans over the security barrier and takes a swipe at fans in the crowd, causing another wave of booing as he flips the crowd off. Climbing the ring apron, he smirks at the fans all around the arena. Stepping into the ring, John Duran glares at Dace while he circles the ring slowly.

 

Comet: “This is the first time these two men have come face for face. So this is going to be new ground for them.”

 

Riley: “And a new chance to see someone giving Dace Night a beating he needs to get. And with Danny going to get murdered by Va’aiga later on, this could be a great night for me.”

 

Hardcastle steps into the centre of the ring, ushering both men towards each other and signalling for the opening bell before jumping back out of the path of two men. Smashes into each other, Dace and Duran grapple for position from the tie up. The Sinner digs his heels into the mat, using his weight and height advantage to force Dace back. But Horrorcore flexes back and holds his ground. Backing up on his grip and allowing Dace to force him back a step, The Sinner launches his leg forwards on the back step and slams his knee into Night’s gut. Dragging Dace up right, Duran slams his head forwards with a skull splitting Headbutt. Grabbing Night by the back of the head, Duran charges across the ring, dragging him along and slams the Goth’s head into the top turnbuckle.

 

OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Keeping his grip, Duran charges back across the ring towards the opposite turnbuckles, looking to slam Night’s head into them..

 

OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

CRACK!

 

But Dace slams his forearm into the turnbuckle to stop himself then swings on his heel and catches the surprised John Duran in the jaw with an Elbow Smash. Quickly grabbing Duran by the shoulder, Dace returns the favour and slams The Sinner’s head into the top turnbuckle. Rolling Duran against the ropes, Dace swings back his arm and brings his hand crashing across Duran’s chest with a Knife Edge Chop that echoes though the crowds.

 

SMACK! WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!

 

SMACK! WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!

 

SMACK! WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!

 

Launching the winded Duran off from the ropes across the ring, Night bounces charges after The Sinner, swinging his arm for a Lariat. But it sails over head as Duran ducks and bounces off the ropes again, races back and catches the returning Horrorcore with a Shoulderblock that knocks him to the mat with a thud. With a grin, John Duran looks down and starts raining down a hail of boots to Dace’s head and body as the fans explode.

 

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Taking hold of the ropes for support, Duran grinds the heel of his boot into Night’s throat, trying to crush the air out of him as Hardcastle yells at him to back off.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

FIV—BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

At the last moment The Sinner backs off, leaving Dace clutches at his throat and choking as the fans hail down insults. Hauling Night back to his feet, Duran nails a few quick Right Hands into his head before whipping Night out across the ring. Following him to the middle of the ring. Sinner spreads his arms and whips Dace over head, slamming him to the mat with a Powerslam, holding onto Horrorcore for the pin as Hardcastle dives in.

 

……ONE!

 

Kickout!

 

YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Big Powerslam from Citizen Duran. He’s a big man and used to throwing people around to control the match. But is he going to be able to do that against Dace Night?”

 

Riley: “Please Comet, he’s in control right now. Shoulderblock and a big Powerslam. It’s a sign of things to come in this match.”

 

Pulling the Hardcore Goth up from the mat, The Sinner double him over with two stiff knees to the mid section. Bringing his forearms down like clubs across Dace’s back, Duran wails away on him in the middle of the ring. Looping his arms under Night’s shoulders and locking his arms, Duran goes for a Double Arm DDT but Dace drops to one knee to sandbag the move. Releasing one arm and swinging a fist into Dace’s ribs, Duran locks his grip back in and goes for the Double Arm DDT again. Once more Dace sandbags his weight and Duran spits in anger. Releasing his grip, The Sinner rains it more clubbing forearms to the back before dragging Dace into a Standing Headscissors. Wrapping his arms around Horrorcore’s mid section, Sinner hauls him upside down in the air, stalling for a moment before sitting back, dropping Dace with a Piledriver.

 

SINNER SUCKS! SINNER SUCKS! SINNER SUCKS!

 

Flipping off the fans at their chants, The Sinner takes a step back before leaping up and dragging his leg across Night’s throat. Quickly twisting around and hooking Night’s leg, Duran makes another cover.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

…..T-Kickout!

 

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Dace blocks a Double Arm DDT only to take a Piledriver instead.”

 

Riley: “The Sinner is going to wear Dace down then take him out. Mark my words Comet, that’s how he’s going to win.”

 

Pounding the mat in frustration, Duran rolls Dace up into a sitting position before kneeling behind him and closing his arms around his throat in a Sleeper Holder, leaning back to stretch Dace’s back out across his knee as Hardcastle steps in to check the hold is clean and not a choke. Struggling from his position, Dace swings wild back elbows but he can’t connect with Duran to do any damage. The Sinner rocks from side to side, forcing more pressure into Night’s spine and crushing his air way. Reaching in, Hardcastle raises Horrorcore’s arm up into the air, leaving it to hang, checking for a submission, but the air stays raised in the air. Dropping back before Dace can try to fight out, Sinner wraps his legs around Dace Night’s mid section an a Body Scissors, further adding to the pressure of the Sleeper Hold.

 

LET’S GO DACE! LET’S GO DACE! LET’S GO DACE!

 

Pushing his weight to one side, Dace hammers his elbow into Duran’s knee, trying to dislodge it from around his waist. Swinging all the force he can manage behind the blows, Dace hammers away on the knee as Duran tightens up on the Sleeper, trying to grit the pain and choke Dace out. But his knee gives to the force of elbows crashing into it and The Sinner releases the Body Scissors as Dace grabs the chances and swings his body out, rolling along the mat, taking Duran over with him and lacing his legs around the bottom rope for the break.

 

YYYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 

Pushing himself free, John rubs at his knee for a few moments, getting the feeling back into it as Dace is left clinging to the bottom rope trying to regain his breath. The Sinner moves into a crouch, shifting his weight from foot to foot as Dace slowly climbs back to his feet with aid of the ropes. Shaking his head out, Dace looks around for John only to see him barrelling forwards like a bull. Crashing into Dace Night, Duran sweeps him off his feet and drives him across the ring, smashing him back into the turnbuckles with a huge Spear. Rearing back, The Sinner unloads wave after wave of Left and Right Hands, drilling blows into Dace’s head and body. Hardcastle steps in once more and starts a rope count as Duran continues his beating.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

At the count of four, John Duran steps back, dragging Dace with him. Looping his arm around Night’s head in a Front Facelock, the Sinner dives back to the mat, pulling Dace down with a huge DDT, rolling him right over on his head and onto his back. Duran scrambles on top of him and drops all his weight onto Dace’s shoulders for a cover.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

Kickout!

 

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Riley: “John Duran is just dominating Dace Night right now. First a Sleeper Hold, then a Spear into the turnbuckles and a beating then finally a DDT. Dace can’t go on kicking out for ever. This is the way I like to see things Comet I tell you.”

 

Comet: “But you’re forgetting just how tough Citizen Dace is. It’s going to take more than this to put him down. And Duran hasn’t shown a game plan out side of wearing Dace down yet. Who knows what plans Dace could have ready and waiting.”

 

Riley: “He can have all the plans in the world Comet. But if Duran never gives him the chance to use them they won’t be any good at all.”

 

Quickly springing back to his feet, The Sinner roughly drags Dace up and drills yet another knee into his mid section before launching Dace through the ropes out onto the floor. Climbing through the ropes, Duran follows him to the outside.

 

ONE!

 

Comet: “Duran sends Dace to the outside, what is he planning now?”

 

TWO!

 

Taking hold of Night by the arm and dragging him along, Duran pulls him up the ring steps. Pausing for a moment to look around and leer at the crowd, John raises Dace’s head and drives it into the steel ring steps…

 

THREE!

 

CLANK! BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

FOUR!

 

..Grinding his face over the rough surface like a cheese grater before stepping back to admire his handy work, as Dace is left slumped over the ring steps and bleeding from his for head. Hardcastle leans through the ropes and yells at Duran, threatening him to DQ him if he pushes it like that.

 

FIVE!

 

SINNER SUCKS! SINNER SUCKS! SINNER SUCKS!

 

 

SIX!

 

Rolling Horrorcore under the bottom ropes, Duran spits into the crowd are throws them yet another middle finger..

 

SEVEN!

 

…Before climbing back into the ring himself. Shoving Dace away from the ropes by booting him in the ribs, Duran follows up by drilling Right Hands into Night’s bleeding forehead, looking to open up the cut even more. Taking the point of his elbow and grinding it over Horrorcore’s head, Duran slams it down with a whip crack as Horrorcore convulses on the mat, trying to get away. Cradling up Night’s legs, The Sinner makes another pin fall attempt.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND – KICKOUT!

 

YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

 

LET’S GO DACE! LET’S GO DACE! LET’S GO DACE!

 

Wrenching Night up to his feet, The Sinner smashes him with another skull ringing Headbutt that leaves his own forehead covered in blood. Spinning Dace around and bringing his arms up around Dace’s shoulder, Duran locks in a Full Nelson.

 

Riley: “He’s going for the Break Point! What did I tell you Comet, it was just a matter of time and now it’s over!”

 

CRUNCH! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Snapping his head back in a desperation move, Dace crushes Duran’s face with the back of his skull. Twisting around into a Rear Waistlock, Horrorcore closes a deathgrip around John Duran’s waist and snaps his body backwards. Launching Duran through the slamming the back of his skull into the mat with a ring shaking Dangerous German Suplex.

 

Comet: “Geerrrmmmaaannn Suuupppleeexxxaaaahhhh!”

 

DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT!

 

Thrashing from side to side, clutching at his throbbing head, The Sinner tries to fight through the pain of being dumping on his head. As the Hardcore Goth rolls onto his hands and knees, trying to shake the blood from his eyes. Drawing in huge gulps of air, Dace takes the first chance he’s had to breath for a long while in the match. Hardcastle throws his arms into the air and starts to count both men down as they recover.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

SIX!

 

Forcing himself up, Dace climbs back to his feet as Duran follows him a few moments later.

 

YYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Advancing on Duran, Night ducks a wild Haymaker and send an Elbow Smash into The Sinner’s jaw that echoes around the whole Superdome, staggering him backwards. Forcing John into a Front Facelock and sling his arm over his shoulder, Dace grabs a handful of black tights and drags Duran all the way up into the air. Taking a half step turn before dropping Duran forwards onto his chest and sitting out.

Wiping some of the blood from his face, Dace rolls himself over Duran’s body and stands over it. Hauling The Sinner back to his feet and wrapping an arm around his waist and grabbing the back of his leg, Horrorcore drags him up and over, dropping him backwards with a Backdrop Suplex, keeping his grip to bridge out and make a cover.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A HALF!

 

KICKOUT!

 

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Scrambling back to his feet, Dace drags Duran back to his feet and rocks him with another Elbow Smash, stopping his struggles. Throwing The Sinner’s arm over his shoulder, Dace wraps an arm around his neck, stepping to his side. Grabbing Duran’s tights, Night wrenches him up from the mat, carrying him up through the air. Making a sharp twist on his heel, Dace dives to the mat and plants Duran on his shoulders with a Uranage Suplex. Shifting his weight onto Duran’s shoulders, Dace presses down for a cover as Hardcastle slides in along side to count the fall.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

…….TWO!

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A HALF!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..KICKOUT!

 

BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Comet: “Now Citizen Dace is really fighting back. A Backdrop Suplex Hold then a Uranage Suplex, getting long two counts both times! Can The Sinner hold up against these assaults?”

 

Riley: “Yes, but Dace failed the hook the legs that time Comet. Very bad move there. The blood loss could be affecting Dace thinking. Which will be just what Duran is hoping for.”

 

Rolling back up to his feet, Dace grins under the blood pouring down his face and pulls The Sinner back up as well. Jamming a knee into his mid section, Dace slaps on a Front Facelock and takes up a handful of tights once more. Night drags Duran high up into the air but the Sinner kicks his legs, franticly shifting his body weight. Dropping to the mat behind him. As Night spins around, Duran slams a boot into his guts and Underhooks his arms. Leaping backwards as he dives, Duran drives Horrorcore’s bleeding head into the mat with a Double Arm DDT.

 

BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Pushing himself back up, John Duran flips Dace off with an evil smile on his face as he pulls the Hardcore Goth into a Standing Headscissors. Wrapping his arms around Horrorcore’s waist, Duran wrenches him up into the air and over his shoulder. Letting Night slide back a little before hooking him over the arms, The Sinner raises him up a Crucifix..

 

Comet: “Citizen Duran has him set up for the Ultimate Sin!”

 

Riley: “It’s over right now!”

 

..But now it’s Dace’s turn to desperately kick his legs and shift his body weight forwards. Sliding out of John’s grasp and down his back to the safety of the mat. Whirling around on his heel, Duran hammers a straight Right Cross into Night’s jaw that rocks him and almost knocks him form his feet but Dace swings back with an Elbow Smash…

 

CRACK! YYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHH!

 

… Which almost drives John Duran back to the mat, but the big man manages to stay on his feet and throws another huge Right Hand that sends Dace staggering backwards. Duran steps in for a third Right Hand only to be meet by another return Elbow Smash…

 

CRACK! RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH!

 

… The blow snaps the Sinner’s head back and half drives him off his feet. Struggling to stay in the fight, Duran kicks out with his leg, sending his crashing into Night’s groin. The blow connects but it’s to late to stop Horrorcore’s closed fist sailing from the air and hammering into the side of Duran’s face with a wrecking ball and slamming him to the mat as Dace unleashes a Knuckle Bomb.

 

SSSMMMMAAAACCCCKKKKKK!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “LOW BLOW!”

 

Riley: “KNUCKLE BOMB!”

 

Both men collapse to the mat as Hardcastle moves in, trying to see if Duran caught Dace with a low blow, but makes a signal of a clean blow, unable to see what really happened. As both men are down on the mat, he starts to count them down once more…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

GET UP DACE! GET UP DACE!

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP!

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP!

 

EIGHT!

 

Rolling over, Dace flops an arm over The Sinners chest as Hardcastle dives down for a cover.

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A HALF!

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Comet: “Dace looks like he’s been taking tips on Citizen Terrence on how to through a punch.”

 

Duran rolls onto his knees as he kicks out while Dace is thrown back onto his hunches. Both men are covered in blood running down their faces, staining their chests. Clambering slowly back to their feet, both men advanced on each other once again. Duran throws a Right Hand but Dace blocks and drills a knee into his ribs. Ducking his shoulders under The Sinner’s body, Horrorcore hauls him up over his shoulders. Redoubling his grip, Dace goes to plant Duran on his back. But The Sinner has other plans, and snaps his elbow backwards, hammering it into the side of Night’s head. Twice more Duran slams the point of his elbow home before he wriggles free and slides of Night’s shoulder. Spinning Dace around and cracking him with a Headbutt, causing more blood to flow from other of them, John slips on a Front Facelock. Lifting Dace up as he staggers a step towards the corner, Duran dumps him on the top turnbuckle.

 

Comet: “Duran has Dace on the top rope. What’s he planning now?”

 

Climbing to the second rope, Duran unloads a rain of Right Hands and Forearm Blows into Dace’s bleeding face, pummelling it again and again. Stepping up to top rope, Duran Underhooks both of Dace’s arms and drags him up into a standing position on the tope rope..

 

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

.. Before pushing backwards off the top and pulling Dace down with him, spikes him head first into the mat with an Avalanche Double Arm DDT.

 

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

 

Comet: “DOUBLE ARM DDT FROM THE TOP ROPE!”

 

Riley: “THAT’S GOT TO BE IT!”

 

Both men bounce as they hit the mat, impact jarring their bones. Dace finally lays lifelessly on the mat as The Sinner rolls him onto his back and collapses on top of him for the cover as the count starts, the fans counting along in a breathless hush of a roar..

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Comet: “DACE KICKS OUT!”

 

It’s just the slightest rolling of the right shoulder up from the mat, but it’s up and Hardcastle’s two fingers shoot up into the air, showing it was a two count only. Duran half rolls Dace only to roll straight back on top of him and try again for the cover.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Once again the right shoulder clears the mat just enough to break the count. Grabbing both of Dace’s legs and cradling them back over his body, Duran makes the tightest cover he can, hoping that the two kick outs took the very last of Dace’s energy..

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

And for the third time the right shoulder clears the mat.

 

Comet: “Duran was hoping to wear Dace out by forcing him to kick out again and again but it’s not working! Dace is still in this one!”

 

Riley: “God damn it! Doesn’t that bastard know when to just stay down and lose? Duran’s doing the perfect thing to wear him out!”

 

Comet: “But this is Dace Night, remember that Citizen Riley. The man that made a name for himself in extreme hardcore wrestling. Tough is not the word.”

 

Riley: “Shut up Comet. Come on Duran, one last big move. Give him the Ultimate Sin and it’ll be over.”

 

Crawling to the ropes and using them to pull himself to his feet, John Duran stumbles to his feet, spitting blood out into the crowd and giving them a half hearted middle finger before staggering over to Dace Night and reaching down to pull him up. Holding Dace at arms length by the ropes, Duran points the to floor outside the ring. But before he can act, Dace jams his heels into the mat and surprises Duran by whipping him across the ring to the ropes on the other side. As Dace bounces himself of the near ropes, he desperately charges into Duran and bring a foot. Drill a Yakuza Kick into The Sinners face that smashes the big man from his feet and almost causes him to flip backwards as he does so as Dace sags down to his knees.

 

Comet: “YAKUZA KICK!”

 

DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT!

 

Raising back to his feet, Dace looks down at The Sinner John Duran, flesh blood pumping from his face after the impact of the Yakuza Kick. Hauling him up from the mat by the back of his head, Dace forces him into a Standing Headscissors. Hauling Duran up onto his shoulder, Horrorcore pauses for a moment, sucking in a breath before snapping his body forwards, driving Duran down into the mat like a rail spike into the ground, almost snapping him in half. The Powerbomb shacks the whole ring as Night pitches forwards, dragging one of Duran’s legs over his chest and pinning him down.

 

YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

……ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A QUARTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND A HALF!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……TWO AND THREE QUARTERS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

……T-NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Stumbling backwards onto his knees as Duran rolls a shoulder from under him, Dace growls as he glares down at The Sinner. Moving back over him and hauling him up into a seated position, Dace loops his arms under Duran’s and locks them behind his back in a Double Underhook. Placing a leg between Duran’s to stop any wild low blow attempts and to stop him using his head as well, Dace cinches back on the Double Underhook. Twisting from side to side, he force’s John’s body to turn one way and then the other under the pressure. Night hauls backwards, trying to drag John Duran up to his feet. Half dragging Duran around the ring as he pulls him upwards, Dace grits his teeth and holds onto the Double Underhook, keeping it locked tight.

 

Comet: “It looks like Dace is going for the Defenestration. If he hits this on Citizen Duran, it’ll be over.”

 

Riley: “If he hits it. If.”

 

Finally wrenching Duran all the way up to his feet, Horrorcore relocks his hands and lifts backwards but all two hundred and sixty five pounds stay rooted to the mat like it carries pain of death to leave. Flexing his arms and simply dead lifting the struggling Sinner, Night hauls him up from the mat, but the Sinner kicks his legs madly, scrambling on the mat to counter the lift. Growling in frustration, Dace jams a knee into Duran’s ribs and lifts him up as The Sinner slackens at the blow. But once again John Duran shifts his height and collapses back to the mat, dropping to one in an effort to try and stay there.

 

Comet: “Duran is fighting the Defenestration with everything he’s got, trying to stay on the mat. He knows if Dace can score with this one he’s finished.”

 

Dace starts to lift again and Duran tightens his body up, sandbagging all his weight, suddenly Dace stops the effort. Then breaks into the lift again with a surge, catching The Sinner by surprise. Dace Night hauls Duran up into the air at a forty five degree angle and spikes him back to the mat with a High Angle Double Arm DDT.

 

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “DEFENESTRATION!”

 

Bouncing of his head and onto his head, John Duran splays out completely unmoving on the mat as Dace rolls over, draping his body across The Sinner’s for the cover as Hardcastle dives in to count the fall and the fans yell along with it.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTTHHHHRRRREEEEEEEE!

 

Comet: “DACE WINS!”

 

BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!

 

Hardcastle leaps back to his feet, waving two fingers into the air and yelling at the time keeper that it was a two count. The arena explodes into wave after wave of chants and booing.

 

Riley: “NO HE DOESN’T! Duran kicked out! At the very last millisecond he kicked out!”

 

Duran’s shoulder falls back less than half an inch to the mat as Dace rolls over onto his back, staring up at the lights high above. Hardcastle circles the now blood covered ring, checking on both men. Hardcastle moves to start yet another ten count, but Dace staggers up to his feet. Cutting a hand across his throat and dragging the lifeless Duran back up. Wrapping his arms around the Sinner’s mid section, Horrorcore gut wrenches him up over one shoulder.

 

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Twisting around to face the middle of the ring, Dace holds Duran for a second more, ready to drive him vertically on his head. Reaching over his head and using his hands to shove of Dace’s head and slides off his shoulder and back to the mat. Quickly grabbing Night’s arm and spinning him around, The Sinner hammers a boot into his gut. Clamping on a Waistlock hauling Dace up over his shoulders and into the Crucifix. Throwing Dace forwards while he still has the energy, The Sinner plants Night back first into the mat as he sits out. Barely able to hold on for the cover.

 

Riley: “ULTIMATE SIN!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTTHHHRRREEE-NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “BUT DACE KICKS OUT AGAIN!”

 

DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT!

 

Battering the mat in anger, John Duran crawls up to his feet, clutching at his bleeding head. Stumbling over to Dace Night, he drives his boot into Horrorcore’s temple. Putting the boots to Dace’s head, Duran makes a gesture of a beat down. Hauling Dace up to his feet, Sinner whips Horrorcore into the ropes, racing after him. Drilling a Clotheslines across Night’s chest and almost taking him out and over the top rope, but Dace hangs onto the ropes for dear life. Keeping his grip, Duran launches Dace off the ropes before dragging him straight back in..

 

CRACK!

 

..And Dace drills a desperation Elbow Smash into The Sinner’s head. With the seconds rest, Dace unloads another wave of Elbows at the Sinner.

 

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

 

Clamping on a Front Facelock, Dace scoops John Duran up into the air and straddles him gut first across the top rope, hanging him out to dry. With Duran across the ropes right by the turnbuckles, Dace backs up a few steps, measuring his target. Racing in, Dace extends his leg and crushes The Sinner’s head between a Yakuza Kick and the top turnbuckle.

 

CRUNCH! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Comet: “Dace just kicked Duran’s head through the top turnbuckle! This is a complete war between these too and it’s not even over yet!”

 

Riley: “What the hell is Hardcastle doing? He should have stopped this a long time ago!”

 

Hauling Duran’s body off the topes, Dace pulls him up to his feet. Wrapping his arms around The Sinner’s legs and lifts him up. Seating Duran on the top rope, Horrorcore climbs up after him, standing on the second rope. Drilling one last Elbow Smash into John Duran’s head, Dace pulls him forwards into a Double Underhook. Cinching up his grip and looking behind him, Dace lets out a roar as he leaps backwards, dragging Duran with him and spiking him down into the mat with spine snapping force. Duran balances on his head for a long moment before topping over in a lifeless heap from the Defenestration. Dace grunts with effort and he pushes himself over on the mat and drops his weight across Duran’s body.

 

HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

 

Comet: “DEFENESTRATION FROM THE SECOND ROPE!”

 

Hardcastle slides in beside the two almost lifeless wrestlers as he starts another count, the fans once again yelling along at the top of their lungs.

 

OONNNNEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTWWOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TTTTTTHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner, and number one contender to the ICTV Title …”

 

DACE FUCKING NIGHT! DACE FUCKING NIGHT! DACE FUCKING NIGHT!

 

Comet: “And it’s over! It took a Defenestration from the second rope on Citizen Duran.”

 

Riley: “And even without a Hardcore match Dace Night is happy to try and kill his opponent. I just hope he gets pay back for that one of these days.”

 

Comet: “And what do you have to say about Citizen Duran then Riley?”

 

Riley: “I have to say why haven’t you be giving the man the respect he deserves for stay alive in the ring that mad man.”

 

Comet: “But he cheated and used dirty tricks, no doubt about that.”

 

Riley: “I don’t see him getting DQ for that Comet. So it can’t have happened.”

 

Comet: “Well, despite that, Citizen Duran made his own fight backs and his own kick outs.”

 

Hardcastle raises Dace’s arm in victory, as Horrorcore forces himself up to his feet. Staring down at The Sinner, Night flips him off before taking his limp hand and shaking it with a salute. Struggling over to the ropes, Night leans over them and grins to the fans through his blood and scar covered face, looking all around the arena.

 

Comet: “Ashes to Ashes is rapidly turning into a night of warfare. And we have the grudge match between Va’aiga and Danny Williams next. It can only be an even bigger blood bath than the two matches we’ve already seen. Hold onto your seats Citizens, it’s not over yet by a long way!”

 

Fade out…

[Guest Suicide King]

"...that's right, for just $14.95 you can purchase the DVD of SJL's Funniest Moments, including the hilarious outtakes of TokyoX and Hollywood Spike Jenkins! Don't delay, this offer will only last as long as Spike's SJL World Title reign!"

 

"G'DAAAAAAAAAAAY, CITIZENS!" rings a familiar superhero voice as SWF ASHES 2 ASHES 2003 returns to the airwaves!

 

As the camera returns to the famed Sydney SUPERDOME~, the thousands upon thousands of Aussie fans rise to their feet in a mad frenzy! The camera pans over signs, including:

 

"EJIRO OWNZ MY PANTS!"

 

"XSTASY IS NOTHING TO RAVE ABOUT!"

 

"SIN 2 LOSE! U SUX DURAN!"

 

Finally, the camera pans to the announce table, where Cycloooooooooone Comet and Bobby Riley sit, poised and ready to continue to call the exciting events of the SWF's November spectacular!

 

"Welcome back, citizens, as Ashes 2 Ashes continues!" greets Comet.

 

"Yeah, great pay-per-view," begins Riley, "but I want Michael Craven, damn it."

 

"A lot of people do, Bobby. Well, without further ado, I've been informed that this time has been reserved for a-"

 

*THE LIGHTS GO OUT~!*

 

With that, a heavy guitar riff hits, which the Aussie fans immediately recognize as Metallica's "Some Kind of Monster."

 

We the people!

Are we the people?

We the people!

Are we the people?

 

As the song continues, a single spotlight shines on the entrance.

 

Some kind of monster!

Some kind of monster!

This monster lives~!

 

When the heavy drum beat kicks in, a man finally appears in the spotlight. Six foot seven. Two hundred and eighty seven pounds. The fans recognize him immediately.

 

And they cheer.

 

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" begins Funyon, his voice booming from the mic, "MAKING HIS THE RETURN TO THE SWF, PLEASE WELCOME CHAAAAAAAAAARLIE 'GRAPPLER' MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

"MY GOD!" shouts Comet, "Grappler is back! This is fantabulous!"

 

"...but what about Double Jeopardy?" asks Riley, "what the hell happened to Show?"

 

The former Show continues his slow walk to the ring as the house lights come back on. He looks to the cheering crowd, and shakes his head before stepping between the ropes and into the ring. He holds his arms above his head as the music cuts and he receives a microphone.

 

"GRA - PULL - ER!"

 

"GRA - PULL - ER!"

 

"Damn, you know what? It feels good to be back!"

 

More cheers.

 

"See, for the past two months, I've been sitting at home letting my neck heal, and I finally snapped out of it. I mean, who was I kidding? 'SHOW'?! DOUBLE - FRIGGIN' - JEOPARDY?! I can't believe I was actually following some pencil-necked nerd around for two months as a game-show loving monkey! Oh, but see, it gets worse. Sure, we won the Tag Team Championship, but then we defended the Titles at Genesis IV. Because of Quiz, I put MY body on the line, fresh after taking a DEMONSTAR DRIVER, and ended up reaggravating my neck times twenty-seven after a neckbreaker from twenty five feet in the air."

 

Grappler stops to let that soak in, before continuing.

 

"So, two months later, I was cleared to wrestle, and I came back here as fast as I could, to set things straight. I'm not here to follow anyone, to be anyone's lackey. No, no no. See, Charlie Matthews is BACK, and just like in the SJL, I'm going to run through ANYONE and EVERYONE who stands in my way to reach the TOP of the MOUNTAIN!"

 

The crowd roars again.

 

"And to do that, I've enlisted in the services of an old friend. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to welcome into the SWF...

 

...

 

...

 

Mister JAAAAAAMES MAAAAAAATHESON!"

 

"WHAT?!" shout Comet and Riley, at the same time.

 

The Aussie fans immediately begin jeering, as the all-too-familiar face (heel?) from the SJL steps out from the curtains, walking down to the ring with a mile-wide smile and a lavander suit with matching tie. As he steps into the ring, Grappler rushes to him and catches him in a tight embrace!

 

"I can't believe this!" begins Comet, "Grappler emphatically removed himself from Matheson's services back in June of this year, saying he didn't need him. And he was right!"

 

Riley, meanwhile, pulls out a handkerchief and begins wiping his eyes. "It's...so...beautiful..."

 

With a giganormous smile on his face, Grappler continues to speak to the perplexed fans. "See? I needed someone I could trust, someone that I KNEW could lead me to glory. James Matheson has PROVEN that to me in the SJL, and was the driving force behind ME winning the SJL Television Champion of the YEAR award!"

 

The crowd's booing intensifies as Matheson pats himself on the back.

 

"How has he proven himself?!" questions Comet, "After Grappler lost Matheson, he went on to win the European and World Championships, titles that he never lost!"

 

"Oh, you're just looking to far into things," shoots Riley, "you have to look at the big picture!" Matheson takes the microphone from Matthews and begins to speak.

 

"WELL! Mah gawd, it feels GOOD to be back in the squared circle! Now, I'm gonna make this short and sweet, since I know you Aussies have short attention spans." Ignoring the cheap heat from the crowd, Matheson continues. "It's real simple. Charlie Matthews and I are back as a team, daddy-o, and NOTHING is going to stop us on our path to glory! Charlie Matthews is faster and stronger than ever. He stands at a towering six feet, seven inches, and weighs in at a hulking two hundred and eighty seven pounds. He was practically UNDEFEATED in the Smarks Junior League! He ate wrestlers like Aecas, John Duran, and Spike Jenkins for breakfast!"

At the mention of John Duran, Matthews shoots his eyes at Matheson, but the manager doesn't notice.

 

"And our path to glory starts NOW! From this point forward, Grappler is going to reestablish his fine name, not as a game show lackey, but as the UNSTOPPABLE monster he came to be known as in the SJL. Daddy, you're not safe until you're checked OFF of the Grappler's hit list."

 

Matheson throws the mic down at Funyon as the Australians jeer the duo. Matthews and Matheson ignore them as "Some Kind of Monster" roars over the speakers once again and they walk backstage.

 

"I still can't believe this!" begins Comet.

 

"Tell me about it!" adds Riley, "...it's PERFECT! Oh man, I can't wait to see Matheson lead Grappler to glory! It's going to be great!"

 

"We'll be right back." sighs Comet.

[Guest Suicide King]

Comet: Here we go folks, this one is one of the most heated and passionate matches I’ve seen in my short time as commentator. The mentor, the sensei, Deathwish Danny Williams takes on the spoiled child, the turncoat Va’aiga.

 

Riley: Turncoat? MENTOR? Don’t you LISTEN to anything that Va’aiga says? Danny Williams never gave a damn about Va’aiga. Danny Williams was holding the Maori Badass back. Danny only pretended to be his “sensei” so he could keep Va’aiga in a position FIRMLY beneath him.

 

Comet: Sometimes I don’t believe the lies you’re prepared to believe.

 

Riley: Sometimes *I* can’t believe how quick YOU are to condemn!

 

The bickering of the commentary team is broken up by the thumping bass of Bring The Pain, transposed lower to give it a darker and more sinister edge. The deep gravelly voice of the Maori Badass resounds round the arena as his near-unbelievably muscular form steps slowly into the entrance gate, the oversized hood of his trademark black boxer’s robe flowing in the breeze of the air vents.

 

WHAT’S… MY… NAME?

 

The camera zooms in close on the bowed head of the Maori Badass, and from beneath the covering hood the faintest hint of a grimace emerges. Reds strobe lights pierce the dim glow of the entrance area and laser their way, guided by the path of the entrance ramps and firing into the massed Australian crowd.

 

Comet: Look at Va’aiga. A man driven by a dark heart, by a low evil and by near animal instincts.

 

Ka mate, Ka mate! Ka ora, Ka ora!

Ka mate, Ka mate! Ka ora, Ka ora!

 

Va’aiga begins a slow metered walk out into plain view of the audience, taking long slow strides, turning from side to side, looking out into the huddled masses, their faces twisted into the screams, jeers, catcalls and boos of pure, perhaps sometimes racially inspired hatred.

 

Riley: Va’aiga is a scary human being. I wouldn’t like to be the man who impregnated HIS daughter.

 

Comet: Nor are you likely to be.

 

Tenei te tangata puhuruhuru

Nana i tiki mai whakawhiti te ra!

 

Va’aiga takes a long stride up onto the ring apron, turning to look out into the baying mob, a crowd so livid with his display earlier they could have been Shellian torchbearers

Va’aiga opens the ropes and steps inside.

 

A hupane! A hupane!

A hupane kaupane whiti te ra!

 

Finally the Maori Badass, changing his pace as quickly as his temper can turn, rushes across the ring and grabs a firm hold of the top rope in his right hand, leaning forwards and looking out into the braying crowd. Focused, the Maori lets his tounge hang loose over his chin as he emits one final scream along with the war chant of his music…

 

HIIIIIIIIIII!

 

Thew noise from Va’aiga’s music dies down and the crowd dies to a hush, the odd scattered “DAN-E!” coming from odd sections of the audience. The gentle, almost non-sequitous with the incoming violence notes of In Flames’ “The Jester’s Dance” float their way out into the arena as Danny Williams appears in the gateway area, and the crowd chants become larger and more focused.

 

Comet: And here comes Citizen Danny Williams. The man looks focused, Robert.

 

Riley: Danny Williams always looks focused. It’s the uniquely expressionless face.

 

The camera closes in on the face of “Deathwish” Danny Williams, his facial expression chiseled out of granite, furious anger mixed with the oddly serene calm of extreme focus. Danny Williams, every inch the model professional wrestler; the build, the dedication to his craft, and the anger at being betrayed by a man he considered a student – it all shows through one small, understated grimace.

 

Funyon: Introducing… from Louisville, Kentucky, weighing in two hundred and foooooorty threee pounds. He is the master of the elbow smash, he is the leader of the Unholy Trinity, he is a TWO TIME Former US Champion and a Former ICTV Champion. This is… DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHWISH DAAAAAAAAANYYYYY WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAMS!

 

The crowd chants of “DAN-E! DAN-E!” builds and builds to a near cacophonous level as the camera pans round to highlight a few signs in the crowd. A young woman has a “Marry Me Danny!” sign with a huge pink love heart on it. An obvious smark fan near the front, beer gut and Unholy Trinity T-shirt wearing holds up a large piece of cardboard with “ELBOOOOOOOOOW!” on. A small ginger kid in the front row holds up a “DANNY WILLIAM’S IS YOUR GOD” sign.

 

Riley: See that, Comet? The fans of today can’t even use an apostrophe properly.

 

Danny Williams, head held proudly aloft, eyes focused on the gargantuan form of the Maori Badass in the ring, begins a slow, metered walk down to the ring. Lifted by the chants of the fans and powered by hatred and anger – taught from a young age to respect his seniors, Va’aiga blaming him for the dissolving of the original Unholy Trinity came as both a shock and a slap across the face of the Master of the Elbow.

 

Riley: Have you noticed that the unprofessional, if stylish, Funyon has refused to introduce The Maori Badass.

 

Comet: After what Va’aiga did to him I don’t doubt the reason for one second. You can’t brutalise random members of the non wrestling staff. Who’s next. You? ME?

 

Riley fakes calling out to the Maori.

 

Riley: Hey Va’aiga! Want another Victim? Comet just volunteered.

 

While Comet splutters and fumes at Bobby Riley, Danny Williams steps up to the ring apron and through the ropes, as referee Mark Soapdish quickly goes over the rules, maybe a little nerviously with Va’aiga. Danny steps up to be informed of the nature of the match in turn, and the Maori Badass Va’aiga and Deathwish Danny Williams retreat away from the centre at Soapdish’s orders, and the SWF’s equivalent of Tiger Hattori signals dramatically for the bell to be rung.

 

Comet: And we’re underway. It’s Betrayal. It’s Honour. It’s Respect. It’s Citizen Danny Williams against... Va’aiga.

 

Danny Williams and Va’aiga, two masses of muscle but with a near foot difference in height stand chest to chest in the center of the ring. Va’aiga stares down with disgust at his former “leader” and “mentor.” Every muscle of Va’aiga’s face distorts into a scream as he shouts downwards, and with force, RIGHT in Danny Williams’ face…

 

Va’aiga: WHAAAAAAAAT’S MYYYYYYYYY NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME?!?

 

Danny Williams pauses to take breath. In defiance maybe, or maybe to teach the Maori Badass a lesson, maybe only to wind up the Maori Badass into an uncontrolled frenzy and draw him into technical errors; Danny Williams looks up at Va’aiga, stares directly into the screaming psychopath’s eyes and says…

 

…nothing.

 

Va’aiga takes a step back and half turns away, maybe feigning a short sign of disinterest before spinning round and sending the sickening crack of bone on bone resounding around the arena. Danny Williams’ neck is snapped backwards and a light spray of sweat and water is casually flicked out by the long straggly bangs of deep black hair swaying loosely over his face. The sheer power of ONE Maori right hand is enough to make some members of the crowd gasp. Danny Williams takes a step back and composes himself, running his hand back through his hair to straighten it out again and the Master of the Elbow turns back to Va’aiga and looks at him again.

 

Comet: The opening shot has been fired here in this encounter.

 

Riley: Danny Williams is playing a dangerous game getting on the wrong side of the Maori Badass. You know if he had given more time to Va’aiga this sort of violence wouldn’t be necessary.

 

Va’aiga scrunches his face up again, the veins on his massively thick neck bulging, his eyes bulging and almost straining to break free of his eye sockets. Va’aiga breathes heavily, taking three slow deliberate breaths, his rippling muscles moving slowly up and down, his whole body shaking with uncontained rage.

 

Va’aiga: WHAAAAAAAAT’S MYYYYYYYYY NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME?!?

 

Danny steps backwards again and considers his response carefully. Slowly a smile cracks across his face as his mouth opens to speak. Va’aiga’s intense glare never wavers as Danny looks up. Va’aiga’s teeth are clenched, his muscles taut, his face an unwavering picture of pure hatred as “Deathwish” Danny Williams – the leader of the Unholy Trinity gives his answer…

 

…he sends Va’aiga reeling by smashing the point of his elbow forcefully into the Maori Badass’ chiselled jaw! Va’aiga plants down solidly where his feet landed, turned away from Danny, visibly shaking, the anger boiling over in his system. The Monster turns back to Danny and CHARGES, fists flying, some barely making contact… a left, a right, a left, two rights, the momentum of the Maori forcing Danny back to the ropes. Va’aiga grabs for Danny Williams’ arm and wrenches it, whipping Deathwish across the ring with the speed and snap of a cruiserweight. Danny goes hurtling across at some considerable velocity and rebounds off the far ropes and Va’aiga wids up and swings his arm at the bridge of Danny’s exposed nose….

 

Riley: THE LARIAT! THE LARIAT!

 

…but Danny Williams ducks and Va’aiga spins, careering round carried by the momentum of his attempted lariat. Danny applies the breaks and spins on a dime, rearing back his elbow and waiting for Va’aiga to stagger round and face him, and as Va’aiga turns he gets a MASTERFUL elbow smash fired off into the side of his face for a second time!

 

Comet: NO! Danny Williams ducks the Lariat and responds with a combination elbow…

 

…Danny swings his arm back again and with a second measured strike fires AGAIN into the jaw of the Maori Badass with the point of his right elbow.

 

Comet: Elbow…

 

Danny Williams steps through with the second blow and wheels round, pivoting on his right foot. With Va’aiga still dazed slightly, Deathwish has time to turn through 180 degrees, his elbow lifted high above his head in readiness for one of his trademark elbow spots, the infamous Misawaesque rolling elbow. The one weakness of the move? It’s takes nearly three seconds to hit, half an ice age in wrestling time and Va’aiga recovers, wraps his left arm around Danny Williams’ waist, slides his head under the raised right arm and drops Danny to the canvas with a CRASH. Va’aiga stands slowly and waits for Danny to rise from the canvas.

 

Comet: Rolling el..

 

Riley: No! Backdrop Suplex! And Danny Williams is down.

 

Comet: Hey! Which one of us is doing play by play here?

 

Riley: I… don’t… know.

 

Danny Williams takes his time standing, more shocked by the sudden impact of Va’aiga’s backdrop than actually hurt by it, but still maybe a touch slow to react as Va’aiga blasts another crisply delivered left hand into Deathwish’s face. Va’aiga grabs for Danny’s arm again and flings him across the ring with another Irish whip, leaving Danny hurtling out of control across the ring. Va’aiga turns away from Danny Williams, and as the crowd hush, concentrating deeply on the match, Va’aiga glances out briefly into them with contempt as he sets himself for a shoulder block and allows Danny Williams to simply bounce of his solid, muscular shoulder and drop to the canvas. Va’aiga stands over Danny’s prone form and paces angrily.

 

Comet: Va’aiga taking Danny Williams down with a shoulder block there.

 

Riley: And that’s no mean feat. Danny Williams may be a lot smaller, but like a running back he has a low centre of gravity – he’s hard to shift off his feet.

 

Danny attempts to roll away and buy himself a little time, but Va’aiga closes in again on his former leader and fires his boot downwards, catching Deathwish firmly in the chest with a flurry of three quick stomps. Danny writhes in pain on the mat for a brief moment before Va’aiga leans down and lifts Danny with shocking ease, inverting him in the same motion. Va’aiga holds Danny over his shoulder for a few seconds more, drawing a handful of boos with another flashed glare to the crowd before dumping Danny down on the mat with a sharply delivered slam. Va’aiga pauses and turns to the crowd, calling out to the angry mob like Australian crowd…

 

Va’aiga: BOO-YAH!

 

Va’aiga scowls at the crowd as they make their own uniquely Australian response to Va’aiga’s trademark call, with a chant of “WAAAAAANKER!” the reverberates around the arena. The Maori Badass snorts and meets the wave of hatred and masturbatory accusations with a snarled response.

 

Va’aiga: And I hope England kick your asses too…

 

The crowd boo, but those boos turn rapidly to rabid cheers as Danny Williams slides an arm between Va’aiga’s massively defined legs and rills backwards, sending Va’aiga down to the canvas and trapping the Maori’s shoulders on the mat!

 

Comet: ROLLUP!

 

Mark Soapdish dives into position to count the pinfall, and the crowd counts along, maybe expecting a shocking quick victory…

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR…NO! Va’aiga just kicks out and springs to his feet with a look of sheer horror mixed with pure unbridled evil and ill intentions.

 

Comet: Danny Williams nearly snatches a quick victory!

 

Riley: Yes, but nothing is guaranteed to wind up the Maori Badass quicker than attempting to steal a quick pin fall on him.

 

Danny Williams rises to his feet only to be rocked again with a solid punch from the Maori Badass. Fuming with anger Va’aiga hammers away again, a second left, a right, a body blow with his left, a body blow with his right… Danny Williams is left frozen in place, shocked still by the ferocity of Va’aiga’s attacks. The Maori Monster glares deep into Danny Williams eyes, and Danny gets a brief glimpse of the inner fire, the passion that drives the Maori Badass. The gift of a closer look is less appreciated as Va’aiga rears backwards and with his steely gaze fixed on Deathwish’s eyes for every second of the move, snaps his neck forwards and fires a blow across the bridge of Danny Williams’ nose with his forehead, a blow that would have shattered a lesser man’s nose in an instant. Danny drops to the canvas like a stone and Va’aiga paces again.

 

Comet: Va’aiga hits the headbutt!

 

Riley: And what a headbutt! You could stop a charging rhino with that.

 

Comet: But could you stop Danny Williams? And why isn’t Va’aiga covering.

 

Riley: I’m not sure Va’aiga WANTS to beat Danny. I think he’s just here to hurt him.

 

Va’aiga stares down over Danny Williams, and seeing a little splattering of blood dripping from the bridge of his supposed former mentor’s nose Va’aiga places his boot firmly on Danny Williams’ face and twists, smearing Williams’ blood over his forehead. Va’aiga takes a pace backwards, then a second, adjusting his wrist tape as he takes slow, stalking steps away from where Danny Williams is laying. A shocked silence descends throughout the arena as the horror of the situation dawns on the massed hordes of the SWF’s dedicated fans. Danny Williams stands, turned away from the Maori as Va’aiga takes a deep breath in, composes himself as much as he can and charges full steam at his new nemesis. Danny turns slowly and the look of horror that’s taken over the faces in the crowd touches him briefly as he stares right into the abyss of the NASTY, PSYCHOTIC, EVIL, LACED WITH HATRED, BITTERNESS, RESENT AND PENT UP FRUSTRATION LAAAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOH...

 

Riley: THE LARIAT! THE LARIAT!

 

Which MISSES as Danny Williams uses his height disadvantage to JUST duck under the lariat again. Va’aiga rushes at full Maori speed into the ring ropes behind Danny and rebounds out of control, onrushing straight into a masterful Danny Williams standing dropkick, the impact of which sends the Maori bailing over the top rope and down to the outside!

 

Comet: NO! The Lariat misses again! Va’aiga is left on the outside and I THINK Danny Williams is considering going aerial!

 

Riley: If Danny wants to take the risk, it’s on his own head.

 

The camera focuses in on the blood dripping slowly down Danny Williams’ nose, and the fixed expression of concentration that Deathwish has carried with him throughout most of his successful career of wrestling matches. Danny lines himself up straight with the Maori Badass, as semi-dazed Va’aiga slowly stands and turns back towards the ring. Danny Williams summons all his courage and fighting spirit and charges, launching himself through the ropes like a bullet and smashing Va’aiga solidly across the face with another ELBOOOOOOW! Va’aiga staggers backwards and bails over the guardrail into the audience and security scrambles to keep the Australian fans from smashing their beer glasses over the Maori Badass’s skull.

 

Comet: ELBOW SUICIDA KNOCKS VA’AIGA INTO THE CROWD.

 

Riley: I’ve never seen a wrestler able to injure Va’aiga with strikes so capably with strikes as Danny Williams.

 

Comet: Believe in the power of the elbow, young Robert.

 

Clinging onto the guardrail Deathwish Danny Williams hauls himself slowly to his feet and orders the crowd to stand aside with some overstated waves of his steroid enhanced arms. Weighing up the situation Danny decides to take a risk again and climbs gingerly onto the guardrail, his footing unsure but not so unsteady as to fall. Va’aiga stumbles slowly to his feet again, only to be sent crumbling back down to the ground as the SWF Star Danny Williams dusts his forehead with a lethal overhand elbow smash off the rail! The Master of the Elbow looks to be crowned master of the chair, looking for a member of the audience to hand him some cold hard steel.

 

Comet: Danny Williams is looking to turn the pressure all the way up to 11 with a little chair on Maori action.

 

Riley: It makes for a better video than US Wrestler on Maori action. Though maybe…

 

Comet: Don’t.

 

A thunderous cheer rings through the halls of the Sydney Super Dome as Danny Williams is handed a chair by one of the fans and holds it proudly aloft, above his head. Va’aiga again lifts himself off the floor, getting first to one knee, then the second, all the time Danny Williams preparing to take a swing at the exposed head of the Maori Badass. Va’aiga slowly stands and Danny Williams, like Sammy Sosa with a MASSIVELY corked bat takes a swing and SMASHES THE CHAIR OVER VA’AIGA’S HEAD WITH SUCH FORCE THE WHOLE GOD DAMN CHAIR SNAPS IN TWO!!!! The first “HOLY SHIT!” chant of the match echoes around the spacious dome, only to be drowned out by…

 

Va’aiga: WHAAAAAAT’S MYYYYYYYYY NAAAAAAAAAAAME!?

 

…as Va’aiga doesn’t shift an inch! Danny Williams takes a brief stunned look at the half chair clutched tight in his knuckles, whitened from the effort of holding such a tight grasp of his foray into foreign-object-land. Danny turns back to Va’aiga and swings the chair half, but Va’aiga backs off a long pace and crouches, easily avoiding the decreased reach of the chair and allowing him space for a short run up. Va’aiga grunts out an inaudible Maori curse and charges like a raging bull, SKEWERING DANNY WILLIAMS ONTO THE GUARDRAIL WITH A RUGBY TACKLE!!! Va’aiga vaults the guardrail and poses in the ringside area.

 

Va’aiga: WILLIAMS O TE HUNGA MATE!

 

Riley: Well that WAS an impressive spear, but I doubt it was enough to KILL Williams.

 

Comet: Danny Williams is a human being who’s toughness is hard for mere mortals to comprehend.

 

Riley: And that makes Va’aiga….?

 

Comet: POSSIBLY one notch higher. I’m sure tonight’s match will help the great fans of the SWF tell, maybe once and for all.

 

Danny Williams clutches the guardrail above him, trying to regain a grasp of his surroundings both literally and metaphorically. Va’aiga rolls into the ring and positions himself on the opposite of the ring from where Danny is left laying, muttering to himself, adjusting his wrist tape, flexing and unflexing the bicep of his right, his Lariatting arm. Danny Williams crawls over the guardrail and rolls into the ringside area, the blood now dried and flaking from his face as he slowly drags himself to his feet. Va’aiga stares out into the ringside area, awaiting Danny Williams’ return to the ring as the crowd start a rallying chant for “DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!”

 

Comet: I don’t know what Va’aiga is planning, but as a believer in “Action!” I think it’s a mistake for the Maori Badass not to be following up on his advantage. It’s little mistakes like that where Va’aiga lets his gut feelings get in the way of his professionalism that will always hold the Maori Badass down in this industry.

 

Riley: Well here’s where I REALLY dispute your point Comet. Va’aiga is driven by his passions, his fury, but he’s SUCH a monster, he’s SO efficient, because there’s always the chance that ONE MOVE can knock out his opponent. I’m not sure how far Va’aiga can rise but maybe there’s a future world champion there.

 

The ring apron above him, Danny Williams stretches his fingers up and grabs a hold of the lip, hositing himself. Across the ring Va’aiga smiles and flexes his right bicep again. Danny Williams steps up onto the ring apron and stares across the ring at his Maori opponent. Maybe in a hint towards WHY people call him “Deathwish,” Danny Williams steps back into the lion’s den through the middle and top ropes as Va’aiga charges and extends his arm into the EVIL, SADISTIC, VICIOUS, HE’LL TRY IT TWICE AND IT AIN’T EVER NICE, GOODNIGHT DANNY WILLIAMS LAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

 

Riley: THE LARIAT! THE LARIAT!

 

…AND DANNY WILLIAMS EXTENDS *HIS* ARM AND LARIATS VA’AIGA’S LARIATTING ARM! The sickening crack of flesh and bone on flesh and bone thunders through the arena accompanied by agonising howls of BOTH of the competitors in this most brutal of matches as they drop to the canvas like a whole heap of sacks of rocks, all tied up together. Both men writhe in pain, Danny Williams clutching his arm, Va’aiga just lying back on the mat wincing.

 

Comet: Danny Williams lariats the Lariat! Deathwish Danny just saved his own skin with an incomparable piece of self sacrifice.

 

Riley: Danny Williams may have saved his skin temporarily, but I don’t know how much permanent damage this match. ANY match with the Maori Badass is bad enough but with this much hatred, this much bitterness in the Maori, Danny Williams may never be the same again.

 

Comet: Va’aiga may never be the same either though, Citizen Robert. I’m not sure he’s ever faced anyone with the mix of power, technique and tenacity as Danny Williams. And Williams isn’t the least annoyed person in the universe ever.

 

Riley: But look at them. Even as they both lie there on the mat. You can tell Va’aiga is tougher. See how Danny has to grab for his arm after the meeting of the two?

 

Comet: Yes.

 

Riley: That’s because Va’aiga’s lariat is stronger than Danny Williams’. And that’s no slur on Danny’s lariat throwing ability.

 

Both combatants are slow in getting to their feet, Va’aiga maybe a touch quicker as Danny briefly favours his right arm and places all his weight on his left as he stands. Both men are sucking wind as they walk back into the centre of the ring and stand chest to chest as they did at the beginning of the match. Va’aiga is the first to flinch as he draws his right arm back and fires off another straight right jab, connecting solidly with Danny Williams’ jaw. The crowd oohs and even tuts a little in disapproval as Va’aiga follows up by flipping the bird at Danny Williams!

 

Va’aiga: PANE KOE!

 

Comet: Well I guess Va’aiga’s arm IS alright.

 

In a rare moment of levity Danny Williams allows himself a smile as he draws back from Va’aiga’s outstretched finger. Va’aiga growls and flexes his right arm again, but the big Maori doesn’t get a chance to fire off a second strike as Danny Williams DIVES at him clocking him across the jaw with yet another VICIOUS elbow smash! For a coup de grace Danny Williams flips the bird at Va’aiga!

 

Williams: FUCK YOU!

 

Comet: And I guess that Citizen Williams’ arm is fine too! Adrenaline and hatred are powerful motivators.

 

Danny Williams grabs for a waistlock on the Maori Badass, and works it, sliding round behind looking for a back waistlock and maybe the Dangerous German Suplex. Danny struggles to get Va’aiga over and the Maori has time and purchase enough to slide round and behind Danny Williams’ back. Va’aiga lifts Danny up and uses his FAR superior leverage to nail Williams with a vicious German Suplex of his own!

 

Riley: German Suplex!

 

Clutching Danny Williams firmly round the waist all the way through the move Va’aiga contemplates bridging out the move, but chooses instead to roll through and with his arms wrapped cobra like around Deathwish’s body Va’aiga powers his way back up to a vertical base and smashes Danny Williams over with a SECOND German Suplex.

 

Riley: German Suplex!

 

With Danny Williams totally and utterly trapped in his grasp, Va’aiga goes for three, lifting Danny Williams off the mat again, his phonebook tearing arms keeping Danny Williams stuck TIGHT in a back waistlock as the pair slowly stand again. Va’aiga attempts to slide his arms up Danny Williams’ back, looking for a full nelson but Danny Williams uses the break in the hold sequence to slide around behind Va’aiga and SPIKES HIM ON THE CANVAS WITH THE DANGEROUS GERMAN SUPLEX!

 

Riley: Drag…

 

Comet: NO! DANGEROUS GERMAN SUPLEX!

 

Danny Williams drops to cover, looking to end the match right here right now and finally called into action in this no DQ match, Mark Soapdish drops quickly, checks Va’aiga’s shoulders are down and slaps his hand on the mat, with the crowd again counting along…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR… and Va’aiga lifts a shoulder. Danny Williams curses and then wraps his arm around the prone Va’aiga’s neck in a TIGHT side headlock.

 

Comet: Danny Williams NEARLY claiming victory with the Dangerous German Suplex there.

 

Riley: It’s a nasty move. The way the Maori Badass landed almost head first on the canvas there, the way his neck skidded across the canvas. That’s just brutality taken to a whole new level.

 

Comet: Danny Williams is hurting the Maori in ways that no one has conceived. As he cranks down on the Maori Badass’ neck with this debilitating hold, you can see that maybe, just MAYBE Deathwish Danny Williams senses victory in the air.

 

Keeping the headlock locked tight in on the Maori Badass, Danny Williams grimaces and attempts to squeeze the very life out of Va’aiga, his steroid enhanced bicep pressed tight into the side of the Maori’s neck. The crowd chant of “DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!” builds again as Danny works the hold, throwing his legs out into the air and dropping flat down onto the canvas to keep the pressure of the hold at its tightest.

 

Comet: This is such a lethal technique, but it’s also a definite tactical advantage, Robert. Not only does Danny Williams keep the pressure on, keep wearing down the Maori. He also has time to recover and draw some free breaths. This is a vital stage of the match for both Deathwish and the Maori.

 

Spotting a chance to gain an extra advantage and all the time keeping his arm wrapped tight around his hated opponent’s neck, Danny Williams throws his legs high over Va’aiga’s head and floats over into a front chancery. With his phenomenal ring presence, Danny senses the ropes nearby and hops his feet first onto the bottom rope and then the second, gaining some vital extra leverage in the headlock.

 

Riley: Hey! Danny Williams is cheating! CHEATING!

 

Comet: It’s a no disqualification match, Riley. Mark Soapdish can’t call for a rope break, because he can’t disqualify Danny Williams. Having been on the dark side earlier in his SWF career, Danny Williams is no stranger to the use of the ropes in this fashion and now on the side of the righteous he’s using it to his advantage again, this time… LEGALLY.

 

Trapped tight in the rope assisted submission hold, Va’aiga struggles and strains to break free. Flexing his abdominal muscles and shoulders, the Maori manages to gain a little purchase and keep Danny Williams ‘roid freak arms away from both his carotid artery and his windpipe, but Va’aiga is stuck fast and going nowhere. Danny Williams bounces on the rope a little, trying everything in his massive arsenal of technical knowledge just to get a little extra pressure on the bull like neck of Va’aiga.

 

Comet: Va’aiga is trapped in the cobra like grip of Deathwish Danny Williams. Va’aiga has always had a weakness for submissions in this federation, and I wonder if maybe Danny ahs finally found his Achilles heel.

 

Riley: Va’aiga looks drained Comet, I’m not sure that Va’aiga is in a lot of pain in such a basic hold, but even the most basic of wrestling holds when applied properly is deadly. I think this could be it for the Maori. As much as I hate to admit it, Danny Williams has this match wrapped up.

 

The crowd scream and cry, a mixture of chants for “DAN-E! DAN-E!” chants to “TAP! TAP! TAP!” chants expressing the views that “VA-ING-UH SUCKS!” and even the occasional “WAAAANKER!” directed at the ensnared monster. Danny, working the hold, his teeth clenched, his eyes fixed on the Maori Badass. Va’aiga wriggles around and tries to work himself loose from the hold, adding a malice laden “NO!” to Mark Soapdish’s question of submission. Va’aiga fights. Danny holds tight. Soapdish asks. Va’aiga screams in the negative. Danny holds tight. Va’aiga fights. Danny works the hold. Va’aiga fights. Danny tires to keep a full grasp. Va’aiga fights and somehow, drawing unseen stores of energy from somewhere deep inside Va’aiga manages to flip himself over… and Danny floats round with one final bounce off the ropes into a cover! Mark Soapdish is in the PERFECT position to count…

 

Comet: It’s over!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR… and Va’aiga JUUUUUUST rolls his shoulder up off the mat, leading the crowd into first a huge round of gasps that could suck the very air out of a smaller arena, then a huge chant of “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!”

 

Riley: It ISN’T over. Man was that close though.

 

Fired up and driven by the near victory and the support of the capacity crowd, Danny Williams lifts Va’aiga off the mat and slowly draws a sweat covered finger across his throat. Leaning down over the Maori Badass, Danny Williams grasps his former student with both hands, digging his fingers into the neck of the Maori Badass as he thrusts Va’aiga’s head into a tight standing head scissors. The crowd starts a whole new chant of “DANNY’S GONNA KILL YA!” as the collective realisation dawns…

 

Comet: It’s time for the POWERBOMB!

 

Danny Williams’ face seems a little calmer, maybe even a little hint of relief as he leans over and wraps his humongous arms around the waist of the Maori Badass. With superhuman strength Williams wrenches Va’aiga up and for a precious second he holds the Monstrous Maori over his shoulders before DRIVING THE MAORI BADASS DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH A VICIOUS, NASTY, EVIL, HATE LACED POWAAAAAAAAHBOMMMMMMMMMAAAAH!

 

Comet: THE POWERBOMB! THE POWERBOMB! IT’S O…

 

…and Comet is interrupted in mid sentence as Va’aiga POPS STRAIGHT BACK UP AND NAILS DANNY WILLIAMS WITH THE THIRD TIME’S A CHARM, HERE COMES THE HARM, NASTY, VIOLENT, I KNOW YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR IT SO HERE IT IS MOTHERFUCKERS LAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

 

Riley: THE LARIAT!

 

Comet: And both men are down.

 

Down possibly being an understatement. Both Va’aiga and Danny Williams are SPARKED OUT, both laying on the canvas breathing heavily, eyes closed. Mark Soapdish counts “ONE!” Va’aiga rolls towards the side of the ring as Danny Williams edges his way towards an adjacent set of ring ropes. “TWO!” brings more crowd chants for Danny, more edging and more rolling. “THREE!” leaves Danny near the ring ropes and Va’aiga near enough the ring apron to drop himself off the side and down to floor level. Mark Soapdish stops the count on him, ruling that Va’aiga is no longer on the ring’s canvas. “FOUR!” leaves Danny Williams able to get himself close enough to the ring ropes to get himself off his back and into a more comfortable seating position.

 

Comet: It would be such a shame to see this match end in a double count out, but after the Lariat and the Powerbomb it’s a distinct possibility.

 

“FIVE!” The crowd is split between counting along and chanting for “DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!” and just screaming their god damn lungs out as Danny Williams leans against the ring ropes. half passed out. “SIX!” Va’aiga rolls out of sight briefly of the cameras. “SEVEN!” Danny gets to one knee. Danny Williams shakes his head, trying to clear the Lariat that’s clouding over his mind. “EIGHT!” Danny looks around for the Maori Badass, but Va’aiga has rolled under the ring and is out of sight of the cameras. “NINE!” and to the relief of the massive Australian crowd, with the aid of the middle rope Danny regains his footing before Soapdish can count him out.

 

Riley: What a close call for Deathwish Danny Williams there. I bet you thought he was a goner there, didn’t you Comet.

 

Comet: I always had faith that Danny Williams could recover. It takes more that a Lariat to put down Deathwish.

 

Riley: Two lariats?

 

Comet: I wouldn’t like to speculate.

 

Danny Williams stands in the middle of the ring, his eyes still a little glazed over. Danny walks over to the side of the ring he saw Va’aiga disappear from and screams out into the crowd.

 

Williams: SHOW YOURSELF! SHOW YOURSELF YOU FUCKING BITCH!

 

The crowd yells their lungs out again, popping like a cork out of a 200 year old bottle of champagne for Danny’s screamed expletive, and Danny takes a brief look around him before turning back to where he believes the Maori Badass is. Meanwhile the OTHER side of the ring, having scrambled all the way under the ring in the time it took Danny Williams to raise himself from the canvas. The glint of a small metal object in Va’aiga’s hand alerts the SWF’s ever observant commentary team.

 

Comet: Va’aiga has something in his hand! I can’t quite clearly see what it is from here.

 

Riley: It looks like… a cigarette lighter?

 

Comet: Va’aiga taking a page from Crow’s book! The SJL’s most heated feud of the year has left an imprint of Va’aiga now the Maori Badass has been called up to the big leagues.

 

Riley: Can you smell something?

 

Va’aiga carefully hops onto the ring apron, stalking Danny Williams like his ancestors, tribal hunters expert in silently stalking their prey. Danny Williams hears calls of “BEHIND YOU!” from members of the crowd and slowly turns, as Va’aiga sparks the cigarette lighter and puts it to his right forearm… AND VA’AIGA’S WRIST TAPE BURSTS INTO FLAME!!! The crowd pre-empt the ring’s action, already starting up a “HOLY SHIT!” chant for the flames themselves, never mind the searing pain of Va’aiga’s next move as he rushes at Danny as the Master of the Elbow turns to face an incoming HURTING, SEARING, FLESH TEARING, SKIN RENDING INFERNO, THE ONLY TRUE BURNING LAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Riley: ANOTHER LARIAT!

 

Which…

 

 

…

 

 

 

…HITS! Danny Williams DROPS to the canvas, clutching desperately at his throat and his chin, his mouth contorted into a scream of pure, unmatched, unprecedented pain as the lighter fluid Va’aiga doused his wrist tape with burns out. The smell of his own burning flesh seems to do little other than bring a grimace, maybe even a half smile of pure enjoyment from the Maori Badass as he drops to cover his nemesis, his former leader, his former mentor and in the Maori Badass’ own warped and twisted mind his own tormentor, the fallen Deathwish Danny Williams. Mark Soapdish drops to count…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Riley: And with the use of little FIRE, Va’aiga has defeated Danny Williams.

 

Comet: What man would be so crazy

 

The crowd EXPLODES into a round of boos not seen or heard since the Disco Sucks riot at Shea Stadium. VICIOUS racial insults, removed from here for reasons of personal taste rain down on the ring from all angles. Plastic bottle and beer cups, assorted trash and even the occasional more solid bottle rains down on the ring. Even a toilet roll is thrown in from the crowd and ends draped over the ring ropes like a cruel mockery of a Japanese style streamer. The arena PA bursts into life…

 

PA: Would you refrain from throwing bottles into the ring. Violators of this rule will be ejected. Thankyou.

 

The torrent of trash terminates (albeit slowly) as Va’aiga goes over to the ring apron and slides outside, looking under the ring apron one more time and finding nearly straight away what he came down for. Danny Williams is still laid out in the centre of the ring and the crowd’s booing heightens YET ANOTHER notch as Va’aiga pulls out from under the apron and holds proudly above his head his personalised patterned steel chair.

 

Comet: No Va’aiga. That’s ENOUGH. There really is no need for this.

 

Riley: Did Va’aiga hear Danny Williams say his name?

 

Comet: ARE YOU TRYING TO JUSTIFY THIS SAVAGERY???

 

Riley: Well yes… um…. no. No this IS uncalled for, you’re right Comet.

 

Va’aiga steps deliberately up onto the ring apron again and steps slowly through the ropes. Holding the chair aloft Va’aiga issues the question one last time before delivering final justice…

 

Va’aiga: WHAT’S MY GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING NAME?

 

Va’aiga lifts the chair as high as he can and the crowd screams, not in despair but in adoration and admiration for the 7’2 figure running, screaming, tearing his way down the entrance ramp as fast as his freakishly massive legs can carry him. In his hand waving high and proud above his head is that barbed wire wrapped cricket bat heels love to hate and hate to have smashed into their soon to be scarred bodies – THE EQUALIZER!

 

Comet: HERE COMES THE CAVALRY – IT’S TERRENCE BAILEY! IT’S TERRENCE BAILEY! THE HOMEGROWN SUPERSTAR IS HERE TO SHOW PROPER RESPECT FOR HIS MENTOR - BY SAVING HIS BE0HIND FROM THE MAORI!

 

The crowd goes insane with a “JANUS! JANUS! JANUS!” chant Terrence Bailey slides into the ring at maximum velocity and swings the bat wildly… just as Va’aiga slides out of the ring and walks slowly up the entrance ramp, staring back into the ring.

 

Comet: VA’AIGA TURNS TAIL AND RUNS!

 

Riley: YOU CAN STOP SHOUTING! Va’aiga didn’t run away. Va’aiga was drained after a long match. He needs to go backstage and treat that arm of his anyways.

 

Comet: What about Terrence Bailey? After that WAR with Annie? Would YOU have the guts to save a friend, an ally after facing the Hardcore Queen?

 

Riley: I wouldn’t be that stupid.

 

In the centre of the ring Bailey kneels over Danny Williams and offers to help the leader of the Unholy Trinity to his feet, but the Master of the Elbow waves him away. Slowly, carefully Williams stands under his own power, and the erstwhile Janus raises his hand, the crowd cheers and the gentle notes of “The Jesters Dance” by In Flames float across the arena once more.

[Guest Suicide King]

An image of Bastion and Xstasy facing off on Smarkdown…

 

 

One title…

 

 

An rotating image of the Intercontinental-Television Championship Title…

 

 

The brother of a legend…

 

 

Footage of Bastion hitting the Untamed on his brother, The Hville Thugg at Genesis IV…

 

 

The once bastard child of the federation…

 

 

Footage of Xstasy addressing the crowd during his return at Genesis IV…

 

 

Pure rage…

 

 

Footage of Bastion hitting the triple Powerbomb known as the Third Offense on Xero…

 

 

The Perfect Drug…

 

 

Footage of Xstasy hitting the Xception on Erek Taylor…

 

 

Are they friends?

 

Footage of Xstasy patting Bastion on the back as he departs in a backstage promo where they first met up since being reunited in the SWF…

 

 

Or, are they foes?

 

Footage of Bastion grabbing Xstasy for an Untamed Chokeslam during an in-ring promo…

 

 

Two Men…

 

 

Footage of Bastion and Xstasy facing off on Smarkdown…

 

 

One Title…

 

 

Rotating image of the belt overlays footage of Bastion and Xstasy facing off…

 

 

AN ALL OUT WAR FOR THE INTERCONTINENTAL-TELEVISION TITLE IS NEXT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DING DING DING

 

-Funyon “Ladies and gentlemen…the following ANYWHERE FALLS contest is scheduled for ONE FALL…and is for the SWF INTERCONTINENTAL-TELEVISION TITLE!”

 

Darkness befalls the arena, and the fans start to cheer a bit as they await the two participating superstars.

 

-Comet “What a battle we are about to witness here. Two friends from Washington, DC, the United States capital city, face off with gold on the line. You can just feel the excitement in the air on this one. We just have no idea how these two feel about each other. Is it mutual respect? Is it anger at Bastion for what he did to the Hville Thugg? Is Bastion even capable of respect or any virtue like it?”

 

The long silence makes the crowd very antsy, but the planned delay leaves the entire arena in darkness save a few mindless flashbulbs. Then, suddenly, it happens, and nearly every fan in the stands and every fan watching throughout the world just about fall backwards out of their chairs...perhaps because of the startling nature of the music, or maybe because they know he is here…

 

 

 

 

“ATTEN-CHUUUUUUNNNNN!!!”

 

-Comet “Speak of the devil…here comes the man himself…appropriately labeled the man-beast…here comes Bastion.”

 

Red spotlights begin to slowly make their way from the far end of the arena towards the stage, and reach there just as the speakers bellow…

 

“So I'm outside of da club and you think I'm a puuuuuuuunk!!”

”So I go to my loaded tech 9 that's off in the truuuuuuuunk!!”

 

“I told you muthafuckas…I ain’t never scared!”

“I ain't never scared (eastside!)”

”I ain't never scared (westside!)”

”I ain't never scared (southside!)”

”I ain't never scared (northside!)”

”I ain't never scared (southside!)”

”I ain't never scared (eastside!)”

”I ain't never scared (westside!)”

 

And as the remix of “Never Scared” by Bone Crusher pounds into the heads of all in attendance, Bastion walks confidently through the curtain and into plain view of the crowd, who are actually popping for the big man, even if only three-fourths of them.

 

-Funyon “Introducing first…the challenger. He weighs in at three hundred and eighty-five pounds. From the capital city of the United States of America, Washington, DC...He is the man-beast…BAAAAAAAASSTTIIIIIOOOOONNNNN!!!!”

 

Surprisingly, or maybe not, Bastion receives a very generous pop from the crowd as he is announced, but his reaction is merely to look all around him with his typical face of angry, black rage.

 

-Riley “Bastion, as usual, looks pissed about something…

 

-Comet “It’s probably life…but you know what…he’s a remarkable athlete with a huge chip on his shoulder, which, in my book, is a bad combination.

 

-Riley “That and he’s freaking huge!”

 

Bastion passes the two pits of fire in the entrance way and makes his way down to the ring. Once at ringside, Bastion slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, where he stands ominously in the center of the ring. His facial expression remains constant and his fists remain clenched at his sides, as if he’s waiting for something.

 

 

“Never Scared” fades out and the lights black out once again, and even before anything happens, the entire arena shakes as a result of the noise from the crowd. Suddenly, without warning…

 

“…AND I WANT YOU!!”

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

 

A huge explosion marks his entrance, followed by a blinding shower of white sparks that shoot from behind a dreadlocked, sillhouetted figure.

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT...”

 

“RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

 

-Comet “And here he is!! Just listen to the reaction of this crowd…they love the Perfect Drug here in Austrailia…and all over the freaking world!”

 

-Riley “You can't even hear his music!”

 

Nine Inch Nails’s “The Perfect Drug” blares over the speakers, but is barely recognizable over the cheers of crowd, especially the squeals of the ladies in attendance. The lights begin to flash and Xstasy emerges through the shower of sparks, and the fans completely lose their minds. Many female fans must be restrained as they try to jump the barrier to get a chance to touch the Perfect Drug.

 

(Funyon) – And his opponent…weighing in at two hundred and eleven pounds…he also hails from the US Capitol city, Washington, DC…He IS the reigning SWF INTERCONTINENTAL-TELEVISION CHAMPION…”THE PERFECT DRUG”…XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXSTASYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

 

X begins to saunter towards the ring as the fans maintain their level of excitement through his entire descent.

 

-Riley “Can you hear all these ladies screaming for Xstasy?”

 

-Comet “Like I said, they love him…”

 

-Riley “Probably because he’s so darn sexy.”

 

-Comet “Uhhhhh…yeah, maybe…I guess…or maybe, just maybe, it’s because he is one of the most athletic, charismatic, and amazing superstars the SWF has on its roster. Just maybe…”

 

-Riley “Yeah…well…I like my reason better.”

 

-Comet “Doesn’t surprise me one bit Bobby.”

 

Xstasy reaches the squared circle where he leaps over the top rope and into the ring. He immediately mounts the near left turnbuckle and displays the “X” sign over his head, with the ICTV title high in the air. With the menacing Bastion looking on, Xstasy passes by him and mounts the far right turnbuckle and repeats his feat with about a million flash bulbs popping as he displays his trademark.

 

-Comet “It’s about that time folks…it’s time to settle the ICTV title right here on Ashes II Ashes. It’s time to battle…”

 

Xstasy hops down where he is met by referee Sexton Hardcastle. But before the referee can take his title belt, X struts to the center of the ring, and meets Bastion face to face. Well... face to chest.

 

-Riley “Wow. Just look at the size difference.”

 

-Comet “After X's speech earlier tonight, I'd be willing to bet their intensities match evenly!”

 

Without taking his eyes off of Bastion, X hands his belt to Hardcastle and smiles at the hulking mass before him.

 

-Riley “I think I'm getting that feeling of Deja Vu!”

 

-Comet “Yeah. It's almost as if this matchup has been seen before, with historical contexts all over it, this event is about to begin!”

 

DING DING DING

 

The bell sets Bastion off like a cannon! A hard right hook is thrown right at the face of the Drug, but Bastion growls as he hits nothing but air, and notices Xstasy moving behind him. Immediately another wild swing comes, this time from the left, and again it is ducked! X sways left, then right, and then dodges yet another right from his huge opponent! The crowd is on their feet now, and Referee Hardcastle warns Bastion about closed fists as he stalks his prey!

 

-Comet “Bastion wants to end this one as early as possible, but the Drug isn't buying.”

 

-Riley “You realize, Cycke, that this one can go ANYWHERE in the arena! I don't even want to think of the carnage that Bastion can visit on Xstasy!”

 

Bastion charges in towards the Perfect Drug. However, Xstasy, using his superb speed, ducks to the side and avoids a clothesline from the big man.

 

-Comet “Bastion trying to get the jump on Xstasy again, but using his superb speed, X ducks away from what would have been a punishing blow from Bastion.”

 

Hardcastle dives out of the way as well, and Bastion catches nothing but air. He quickly turns around and goes for another haymaker, but Xstasy dodges that one as well, causing the crowd to cheer more. A third strike misses by a mile, and with Bastion off balance, Xstasy goes on the offensive.

 

-Riley “Bastion just doesn’t play…he comes out to fight, and I bet he’s neither impressed or pleased with Xstasy’s showboating style. “

 

-Comet “But that’s still a rather inexperienced tactic for Bastion to use here against a seasoned veteran like Xstasy, and it’s evident by how easily Xstasy dodged the blows and is now taking the offensive.”

 

After Bastion’s last miss, he was left prone, and Xstasy is taking advantage. He delivers a stiff side kick to Bastion’s kidneys that makes the big man wince ever so slightly. He follows that up with a second kick to the kidneys and a roundhouse to the side of Bastion’s head.

 

-Comet “Nice little combo there from Xstasy, who is known for his speed and the crazy risks he takes.”

 

The big man steps to the side a bit, but does not go down from the kick, obviously planned for by the young Upstart. The Joy of X nails a hard kick to the back of the knee, and as Bastion's leg buckles, he follows with a jumpign roundhouse to the back of the head! Now the big man is stumbling forward, as X takes to a nearby middle rope, leaps up, and wraps his legs around the neck of Bastion!

 

-Riley “Look at that, he just won't go down!”

 

-Comet “Amazing acrobatics from the Drug... with a Hurricanrana...”

 

... But the Rana doesn't pull Bastion to the mat! Instead, the big man just stands there, as Xstasy hangs down. B closes his arms in, only to have X use his abs to pull himself up. Trapped in a self-hug, Bastion is powerless to resist the punches to the head that X rains on him, before unhooking his legs, planting them in the massive man's face, and launching himself backwards, flipping and landing on his feet!

 

-Comet “HARD kick from X... and after all of that...”

 

-Riley “Still standing!”

 

Bastion shakes his head, then stares at X once more, as if to dare him for more! X nods, and then obliges by running in, rolling on the ground, and taking out Bastion's leg.

 

Another stumble, and X rises, grabbing the now bent limb, and trying to lift it. He twists through, rolls, and loses his grip on the huge thigh of Bastion!

 

-Comet “Good move there, but he couldn't even get the Dragon Screw on that powerful leg of Bastion.

 

The Drug rises once again, this time determined to get his quarry down. He rushes in, and immediately Bastion meets him with a hand around the throat!

 

-Riley “Uh oh... the might of the Beast shows through!”

 

A quick kick to the armpit looses the grip, and puts Xstasy back on the offensive! He grabs the choking arm, locks it up, and gets position behind Bastion, landing knees to the ribs of the big man. Bending Bastion back, X locks on a Dragon hold. Bastion sways back, as X prepares to raise a leg over, and suddenly surges forward! Lifting the Drug off of his feet, Bastion flips him in front of him onto the canvas!

 

-Comet “Wow, sheer POWER from Bastion, but like a cat, Xstasy always lands on his feet!”

 

Having lost the hold, X continues forward, bouncing off of the rope, and rotating into Bastion with a HUGE flying wheel kick to the chest! Bastion stumbles backward as X rises, then charges forward with a wayward arm! The Drug barely slides out of the way, sending Bastion to the ropes, then approaches from behind, taking ahold of B's big legs and pushing upwards! The three-eighty pounder goes flipping over the top rope and drops down to the outside. Yet he does not fall!

 

-Comet “Incredible... another standing land. And Bastion refuses to fall.”

 

-Riley “I don't think either of these men have been knocked down by the other yet...”

 

Bastion walks to the crowd barrier, grunting at the shoulder slaps he recieves from those nearby. As he turns to face the ring... WHAMMMM!!!

 

-Riley “WHOA!”

 

-Comet “Did you see that? A HUGE diving spear, right through the ropes! Xstasy put Bastion down on the outside! Finally, the big man falls!”

 

-Riley “That's two-hundred eleven pounds flying at top speed! X might have hurt himself there!”

 

-Comet “Well, the Drug loves putting his body on the line to do that kind of damage. Even Bastion looks like he felt that one... COVER!”

 

ONE

 

-Riley “OH!”

 

The shoulder shoots powerfully up at the One count.

 

-Comet “Incredible. Even after that, Bastion is up! He kicked out.”

 

Barely fazing his opponent, Xstasy rises and lands a knee to the head of Bastion. Pissing him off further! The monster begins to stand as X nails a HARD right to the face! Now he tries for a kick! But Bastion does NOT fall!

 

X shoots out a hand again... and...

 

-Riley “He's caught!”

 

-Comet “Caught by the unforgiving paw of INJUSTICE!”

 

A hard pull sends X FLYING into the steel steps with a CLANNGGGG!!! The Drug tries to stand, rolling out his shoulder... before... CLANNNNNGGGGGG!!!

 

-Riley “Holy hell! He just charged right into X, and sent him back into those steps!”

 

Barely feeling the blows, Thugg grabs X behind the head, and gets him rising. A hard throw sends the Kid into the crowd barrier, and a woman screams loudly as Xstasy hits front first, slumped over the barrier before falling over the other side!

 

-Comet “Now Citizen Addiction is in trouble here...”

 

-Riley “He may be slow... but it only takes one huge move from Bastion to take you out of the game.”

 

The Big Beast walks over to the selfsame barrier, taking a giant step across it, and making his way into the scurrying crowd. As Sexton Hardcastle follows, climbing the barrier, his concentration is broken for just a second, a second that the Perfect Drug takes full advantage of, with a weakly rising fist between his opponent's legs!

 

-Comet “Did you see that?”

 

-Riley “That was a low blow! That's a DQ!”

 

-Comet “Why would Xstasy do that?”

 

-Riley “Maybe because he's in a LOT of trouble, and wants to win the match?”

 

Bastion stands stone still, pain on his face and in his carraige. But, shocklingly, he remains standing. Xstasy tries to crawl to his feet, as Hardcastle makes his way to the audience area. Security is trying desperately to hold them back, as X gets up, and then makes his way deeper into the crowd. Bastion staggers towards him, and launches a wild chothesline... WHAMMM.

 

-Comet “OH MY GOD!”

 

Unfortunately, it's not Xstasy that got hit.

 

-Riley “HA HA HA HA! That guy in the crowd just got his head taken off!”

 

-Comet “He accidentally hit that poor, innocent civilian in the audience!”

 

As if in retaliation, Xstasy gets a HARD knee to the gut of Bastion. There, in the center of the XSTATIC fans, he locks up, spins, and falls HARD to the ground!

 

-Comet “Xception! There it is! The Xception! Bastion is down! X has a shot here, for a successful title defense!”

 

-Riley “So close...”

 

X barely crawls over and covers as Hardcastle drops down...

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

TWOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

-Comet “No good! Bastion kicked out of the Xception!

 

-Riley “I don't believe this...”

 

Xstasy gets slowly to a knee, and then standing, as Bastion lays on the ground! The Drug stands, unzipping and pulling down his wetsuit, eliciting another round of squeals! The Upstart then goes to a section of nearby stairs, scaling them slowly...

 

-Comet “You've got to be kidding me...”

 

-Riley “I think we might see it here...”

 

-Comet “On BASTION?”

 

The big man begins to rise as X takes his hair tie out and throws it behind him. When the members of the audience scramble, X lifts his hands above his head in a cross! Bastion is almost up now, and Xstasy focuses on the rising monster!

 

-Riley “This could be it!”

 

-Comet “On the outside. Citizen X... are you CRAZY?”

 

Bastion finally gets to his feet, and the Perfect Drug LEAPS off of the steps and falls towards the big man, his entire body spinning as he approaches. His victim, the Beast, Bastion, sees his enemy falling in slow motion, spinning upside down, and is almost powerless against the onslaught...

 

Almost...

 

WHAMMMMMM!!!

 

-Comet “NO WAY!”

 

-Riley “B-LINE! B-LINE! Against X... in MIDAIR!”

 

-Comet “X was upside down when that hit! He was knocked out of the air, and into the crowd by Bastion!”

 

The audience descends on the two superstars like flies on leftover food! As security goes into the pack to break away the spectators, and referee Sexton scurries over, Bastion rises from the ground! The men clear away the people, and then look on in horror...

 

-Riley “The camera is over there now... and... hey, where's Xstasy?”

 

-Comet “Ladies and gentlemen... X is gone!”

 

The dispersing crowd reveals an empty spot on the floor where the Perfect Drug should have been. Bastion walks over, looking frantically for his opponent, while Referee Hardcastle signals to the timekeeper, and then climbs the stairs to look for his missing charge, while Bastion stalks over to a nearby entry tunnel, and enters!

 

-Riley “Get a camera on him!”

 

-Comet “I agree... Citizen Gus... film this.”

 

Gus obliges, following Bastion through the tunnel, as Security blocks it off. The rabid fans shout into the tunnel, and Bastion walks into the dimly lit passage.

 

-Comet “He certainly goes briskly on his way!”

 

-Riley “He's looking for the man. He wants that title, Comet... and he won't stop until he gets it.”

 

-Comet “For some reason, I don't think the title matters. He just wants to inflict pain!”

 

Bastion continues down the hall, coming to a junction and searching both ways before continuing down.

 

“Yo B.”

 

-Riley “Wait a second...”

 

-Comet “I know that voice.”

 

The arena goes stone silent as Bastion stops, and turns around, coming face to face with, not Xstasy... but with his true Nemesis...

 

-Riley “It can't be...”

 

-Comet “There's no way...”

 

Gus turns the camera, and behind him, stands the man...

 

-Riley “It IS!”

 

Seven feet, two inches...

 

-Comet “I don't believe it...”

 

Four hundred pounds of power...

 

-Riley “The H...”

 

-Comet “Ville...”

 

-Crowd “THUGGGGGGG!!!!”

 

As everyone goes apesh*t, Bastion fumes at his brother. The original Angry Black Man. H-V-T!

 

-Thugg “I told you I was coming back fo yo ass.”

 

Bastion doesn't mince words. He goes straight to the point, CHARGING in and NAILING Thugg with a clothesline! The bigger man sways back. Then stands again to full height. His brother can't believe it, as Thugg cracks his neck, and then... WHAM!

 

-Comet “He... he...”

 

-Riley “He just charged his brother into that wall! Three-hundred eighty plus pounds, and Thugg moved him like he was nothing!”

 

Bastion stumbles, and turns around...

 

SMACK!!

 

-Crowd “RRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

 

-Riley “He's got a choke! A choke on his brother...”

 

-Comet “There's no way in H-E double Hockey sticks!”

 

Bastion launches a right hand into his brother's face! But Thugg maintains the choke. A left hand now... but Thugg does not let go! One last surge... a HUGE, POWERFUL right... and yet...

 

-Riley “Thugg's still got him!”

 

With a sudden surge of strength, HVT steps forward, lifting Bastion off of his feet, and spinning in place! WHAMMM!

 

-Comet “UNTAMED!!”

 

-Riley “Right into that SOLID CONCRETE WALL!!!”

 

Bastion falls to the ground, rolling onto his back and not getting up as Thugg nods, and walks down the hall.

 

-Riley “MY GOD! The POWER of HVT! Look at that...”

 

-Comet “Bastion looks hurt, Riley. I mean REALLY hurt. Injured even...”

 

Thugg walks down the hall, and suddenly stops, as the camera pans in front of him to reveal...

 

-Comet “THE DRUG! XSTASY was found by Referee Hardcastle!”

 

The two old friends stop and stare. Then, without a word, continue walking...

 

-Riley “There he goes... the Thugg... one of this federation's most prolific champions EVER!”

 

-Comet “And here comes Xstasy!”

 

The Upstart looks at Bastion on the ground, then back at Thugg, and then continues towards his quarry, with the Ref right behind him. With a quick rush, X gets to the wall. He takes one step... two steps...

 

-Riley “Up the wall...”

 

... and then leaps off, flipping TOWARDS the wall while falling AWAY from it, to complete the devastated... the dreaded...

 

-Comet “XCLUSION! XCLUSION! Bastion has got to be done!”

 

-Riley “From off the wall! How did he do that?”

 

The cover comes loosely, and the Referee drops down...

 

ONE...

 

TWOOOOO...

 

THREEEEEEEE!!!

 

DING DING DING

 

-Funyon “Ladies and gentlemen... your winner...and still the SWF champion... EXXXXXXXX-STASEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”

 

X stands up, looking at Bastion, who seems more hurt than ever before. The young monster tries to rise, but can't. And his opponent merely looks at him... and then walks away...

 

-Comet “Did Citizen Xstasy know Thugg would be here?”

 

-Riley “I'm sure he did. They're best friends...”

 

-Comet “No way, I refuse to believe that. Something's really not right here. X would never take advantage of an injury or an interference. Not willingly.”

 

-Riley “He didn't even check to see if Bastion is okay...”

 

-Comet “Ladies and gentlemen... we have no idea what has gotten into the Drug here tonight...”

 

Xstasy sighs, not even bothering to get his title. He simply walks away from the scene, and doesn't look back once. Sydney Australia chants for him to come out and signal for them, but, unexpectedly, he ignores their call. He just walks away.

 

He just walks away...

 

FIN

[Guest Suicide King]

The Sydney Dome in Sydney, Australia is alive and rocking as the referee from the Xstasy vs. Bastion brawl finally finishes signing off on the paperwork, and starts to head up the ramp to the back. “Sin” by Nine Inch Nails kicks up over the speaker system again, and the song blends in with the buzzing of the Australian crowd, who are obviously anticipating the main event. Suddenly, a graphic explodes onto the SmarkTron, displaying the 8 men in the main event, which triggers a big round of applause from the crowd. Funyon starts to step into the ring, and the cameras pan around, showing the multitude of signs in the crowd. The camera scans over a whole row of signs, such as “THROW TAYLOR ON THE BARBIE!”, “CRAVEN ATE MY BABY!”, and “JANUS + ANNIE = HRADKORE!” before settling on a huge sign being supported by two men, reading:

 

STRANGLER/EREK = ****

 

WILD AND DANGEROUS/JUSTICE AND RULE = ****

 

FLESHER/CRAVEN = ****

 

ALL OF THEM AT ONCE = PRICELESS

 

“And this is indeed a priceless match, and one that we have gone a LONG time without seeing, Robert!” crows Comet. “It has been many moons since we have had a Survivor-style tag team matchup, and this one may perhaps be one of the greatest matches ever held in SWF history!”

 

“I think you might just be right, Comet” replies Riley in a surprisingly serious tone. “The face team is a total mess, of course. We have Flesher, the traitorous dog. We have Strangler, the massive headcase. Then you have Dangerous, a government op, teaming with Wildchild, his tag partner who hates him! And somehow those four men are supposed to compete with one of the greatest groupings of talent in SWF history! We have the greatest tag team in history with Justice and Rule, who are ITCHING to take out Wildchild, Dangerous, AND Flesher! Then there’s Craven, who wants a shot at Flesher himself! Then you have Erek Taylor, who’s the #1 Contender to Tom Flesher’s title, and who has destroyed the psyche of Strangler over the last six weeks! This team is damn near unstoppable, Comet!”

 

Comet sits back and thinks about the mouthful Riley has just laid out there before replying: “Well, Robert, it is quite a formidable team. But Team Flesher has two World Champions in Citizens Strangler and Flesher, and perhaps the greatest Hardcore champion of all-time in Wildchild. And Wildchild has been looking for revenge against Ejiro for the months of humiliation! Strangler has turned himself around, and would LOVE to teach Erek Taylor a lesson here tonight! I think that when all is said and done, this match will be EXTREMELY competitive!”

 

“Pffft. They’re a total clusterfuck of a team, and they don’t stand a chance against Judge, Ejiro, Craven, and Taylor. Totally outclassed, and tonight’s match will be a way for all the shmucks out there to realize that these guys are the ones that should be on top, not the dinosaurs like Strangler and Flesher!”

 

“Well, Robert, we shall see. However, it is time for us to stop prognosticating, and time for destiny to play itself out in the middle of that ring. We now go to Citizen Funyon to begin tonight’s main event!”

 

The spotlight shines down on Funyon, who is obviously excited for tonight’s main event. He holds a small stack of index cards to get all the information for tonight’s show right. The lights are dimmed down, and the SmarkTron shows one last glimpse of the Survivor Tag graphic before going black, dimming the arena even more. “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT’S MAIN EVENT!” crows Funyon, which sends the crowd into a loud round of cheers. After a few moments, the crowd dies down again, giving Funyon his opening. “TONIGHT’S MAIN EVENT IS AN EIGHT-MAN SURVIVOR-STYLE TAG TEAM MATCHUP! THE MATCH WILL CONTINUE UNTIL ALL FOUR MEMBERS OF ONE TEAM HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!” The crowd pops, much less forcefully this time, and Funyon quickly continues: “FIRST, INTRODUCING TEAM HEEL…”

 

The lights cut out and strobe lights begin pulse to the beat of the guitar and drums in the background. Saliva’s “King of My World” kicks in, and the crowd begins to intensely boo, knowing who awaits on the other side of the curtain. As the first words kick in, the strobes cut out and a pale blue light covers the arena, illuminating the figure of Michael Craven as he walks out onto the stage, no expression visible on his shadowed face. Continuing his walk down to the ring, he turns around at the top of the ramp, walking backwards as he stretches his arms out wide, soaking in the crowd’s jeers. Halfway down the ramp, though, he abruptly spins back around, swinging his right arm in a straight path across the top of the stage.

 

“THE FIRST MEMBER OF TEAM HEEL, FROM TAMPA, FLORIDA, WEIGHING IN AT 280 POUNDS, HE IS THE “KING OF NIGHTMARES”, MICHAEL….CRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAVEN!”

 

“And it appears that Citizen Craven is not well-liked here in the Land Down Under, Robert.”

 

“These Aussies like Kylie Minogue and Paul Hogan. They don’t deserve to have a goddamned opinion.”

 

Craven slides into the ring and hops onto a turnbuckle, posing for the crowd. The boos remain loud as a few isolated flashbulbs explode, feeding Craven’s ego even further. He finally hops off the turnbuckle and starts pacing around the ring. As he paces, “Sellout” by Biohazard replaces “King Of My World”, and the boos intensify as Ejiro Fasaki appears on top of the ramp, looking pissed off and ready to get into the ring. “I do not recall seeing Citizen Fasaki as intense as he is right now, Robert” remarks Comet as Ejiro looks around, screaming at one fan who is proudly displaying his “JUSTICE AND RULE SUCKS!!!” sign with a big grin on his face. “He does look very hyped up tonight, Comet. I get the feeling that Ejiro is really looking forward to having an opportunity to take out three men who he has bad blood with.”

 

“INTRODUCING THE SECOND MEMBER OF TEAM HEEL! FROM SARASOTA, FLORIDA, WEIGHING IN AT 190 POUNDS, HE IS ONE HALF OF THE SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, EJIRO…FASSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKI!”

 

Ejiro slides into the ring, slaps hands with Craven, and walks around the inside of the ring, looking very intense as he loosens up his neck and berates another fan with a “NO RULE NO!” sign in the front row. As the boos finally begin to die down, an “F U FASAKI! F U FASAKI!” chant starts up, which draws nothing but a middle finger from Ejiro. The boos remain loud, but as the lights go down to a deep red color, the boos are redirected. “Testify” by Rage Against the Machine begins to kick up, partially drowning out the thunderous boos. Finally, the drums reach a crescendo before “NOW TESTIFY!” rings through the arena. Three massive bursts of red pyro explode around the stage, framing “The Judge” William Hearford as he steps out into the open.

 

“A tremendous amount of heat for William Hearford tonight, Robert!” comments Comet as Judge starts to walk down to the ring slowly and deliberately, which keeps the heat coming from the crowd. Craven and Ejiro have started talking to each other, conferring briefly as Judge reaches the bottom of the ramp. He walks to the corner and climbs the stairs into the ring, looking unusually calm for the occasion.

 

“THE THIRD MEMBER OF TEAM HEEL, FROM ROYAL OAK, MICHIGAN, WEIGHING IN AT 250 POUNDS, HE IS THE OTHER HALF OF THE SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, ‘THE JUDGE’ WILLIAM….HEAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRFORD!”

 

Judge walks over to Ejiro, who gives him a quick high five. Judge looks at the SWF Tag Team Title belt slung over his shoulder, smiling proudly, and Ejiro gives the corresponding belt around his waist a quick shine. Craven looks at the gold, somewhat jealously, before Ejiro and Judge strip off the title belts, hand them to referee Mark Hebner, and look up at the ramp, waiting for the fourth member of the team to arrive.

 

They don’t have to wait long, as “Numb” by Linkin Park hits over the speakers, which cues the loudest round of boos from the crowd yet. The hate can be felt in the air as white strobe lights pulse over the arena, flashing brightly as the slow, haunting melody continues on. The strobe lights finally turn, focusing on the body standing at the top of the entranceway. Erek Taylor turns, his eyes burning with passion, and looks out at the crowd. The boos draw a very, very small grin from the twisted face of Taylor, but the grin quickly fades back to the evil scowl worn by Taylor. Judge nods as he observes Taylor while Ejiro and Craven continue conversing about the upcoming match. Erek finally starts his way down the ramp, still looking totally enraged, as the boos continue, staying just as loud as they started.

 

“AND THE FINAL MEMBER OF TEAM HEEL! FROM ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA, WEIGHING IN AT 180 POUNDS, HE IS THE NUMBER-ONE CONTENDER TO THE S-W-F WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE, EREK……TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYLOR!”

 

“What a sight Erek makes, Comet. He’s looking more pissed off than he ever has, and I have to say that it’s gonna take a LOT of work to take him, or anyone else on this team, out tonight” predicts Riley. Comet declines to offer a response, choosing instead to simply clear his throat much more loudly than truly necessary.

 

The lights come up for a moment as the four men meet in the middle of the ring and huddle up, mapping out some last-minute strategy. As Team Heel breaks their huddle, the lights suddenly go down, and the opening beats of “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult kicks up over the speaker system, which sends the crowd into a frenzy, who are glad to hear anything rather than another heel’s theme. “Well Robert, here comes the man who’s going to be looking to take Erek Taylor out tonight!” chimes in Comet as the name “STRANGLER” flashes up on the SmarkTron in huge white letters. Suddenly, a massive round of white pyro explodes from the stage as “Godzilla” kicks into high gear, and a giant figure comes striding through the billowing smoke. The crowd erupts anew for Strangler, who raises his right fist into the air in a salute to the Syndey crowd. A man in the front row waves his “STRANGLER > EREK” sign as Strangler looks once around the entire building, then starts on his way down towards the ring.

 

“AND NOW, INTRODUCING TEAM FACE! INTRODUCING FIRST, FROM BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, WEIGHING IN AT 303 POUNDS, HE IS THE BOSTON….STRRRRRRRRRRRRANGLER!”

 

Strangler makes it about two-thirds of the way down to the ring, then stops and pauses, staring at all four men in the ring before finally settling on Erek Taylor. Taylor simply smirks back at Strangler, although the cocky attitude seems slightly less bullet-proof tonight as Strangler glares back, looking for all the world like the Strangler of old. “Godzilla” starts to fade away, but Strangler takes no notice, instead continuing his staredown with Taylor, who simply glares right back. As “Godzilla” disappears, a voice picks up on the speakers, whispering a name in a deep, sultry voice…

 

“Johnny Dangerous…”

 

The crowd is reinvigorated, and pops loudly for Johnny Dangerous as “After The Flesh” by My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult starts blaring throughout the Sydney Dome, echoing to every corner of the building. Even more smoke billows out through the entrance, obscuring the sightlines even more, and dozens of strobe lights begin flashing, partially illuminating the man that appears amidst the smoky haze atop the entrance ramp. Johnny Dangerous jogs to the top of the ramp and quickly thrusts both hands into the air before quickly starting back down the ramp, on his way down to meet up with Strangler.

 

“AND THE SECOND MEMBER OF TEAM FACE! FROM LAS VEGAS, NEVADA, WEIGHING IN AT 217 POUNDS, HE IS THE SWF UNITED STATES CHAMPION, HE IS JOHNNY “THE BARRACUDA” DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEROUS!”

 

Dangerous rips the US Title off his waist and holds it out to the fans, allowing them to touch the belt as he reaches Strangler on the ramp. Strangler and Johnny exchange quick words, then glance at the ring, taking in their opponents once again. Dangerous’ eyes dart back and forth between Fasaki and Hearford. Fasaki pantomimes having a tag title belt around his waist while Dangerous just stares on, looking angry.

 

“After The Flesh” is abruptly cut off as the arena goes dark, save for a single flashing spotlight directly above the entranceway. “Let’s Get Dirty” by Redman kicks up, and the fans come ALIVE for the Bahama Bomber himself as Wildchild enters the arena to a massive pop. Wildchild is dressed differently, wearing a pair of Olympic-style tights and wearing his old-school face paint! “Looks like the Wildchild has gone back to his roots, Robert” comments Comet as Wildchild takes a moment to revel in the noise in the Sydney Dome. “Looks like a paint mixer threw up on him” counters Riley as Wildchild finally kicks into gear and starts heading down the ramp, his eyes fixed on the two teammates waiting for him.

 

“NOW INTRODUCING THE THIRD MEMBER OF TEAM FACE! FROM THE BAHAMAS, WEIGHING IN AT 214 POUNDS, HE IS THE S-W-F HARDCORE GAMERS CHAMPION, HE IS THE WIIIIIIILDCHIIIIIIIIILD!”

 

Wildchild reaches Strangler and Johnny. Johnny greets him with a smile, but Wildchild ignores the gesture. He barks a question to Strangler, who answers gruffly as well. Strangler and Wildchild start trading information back and forth, with Dangerous listening intently to the conversation. “Let’s Get Dirty” starts to die down, and the crowd is buzzing, knowing the identify of the man on the other side of the curtain, the man responsible for making this match tonight. “Seven of eight, Robert! This match is almost ready to begin!” exclaims Comet, with visible excitement in his voice.

 

The arena is silent for a few moments, then the lights dim, with the SmarkTron lighting up, displaying the phrase “WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION”, which draws a big pop from the crowd. The words just sit there for a moment, with the opening notes of “I Am The Man” playing in the background, until suddenly…

 

BOOM!

 

A massive round of blue pyro explodes rocks the arena as the Philosopher Kings crank “I Am The Man” into high gear, and Tom Flesher steps out onto the ramp, with the SWF World Title belt wrapped tightly around his waist. He looks at the crowds, who are on their feet for the SWF Champion, and smiles, basking in the applause of the sold-out PPV audience. Flesher pauses for a moment while the SmarkTron behind him flashes phrases such as “THE MAN” and “MAIN ATTRACTION” before he heads down the ramp, looking to join up with the rest of his team.

 

“AND INTRODUCING THE FINAL MEMBER OF TEAM FACE! FROM BUFFALO, NEW YORK, WEIGHING IN AT 213 POUNDS, HE IS THE S…W….F WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, HE IS “THE SUPERIOR ONE” TOM…FLESSSSSSSSSSSSSHER!”

 

Flesher strides down the ramp confidently and reaches the three other men. Strangler and Flesher slap hands and exchange a knowing look, as if they know what to expect in this matchup. Wildchild says something to Flesher, who replies quickly, and then barks out an order to the team. The four men brace themselves, then go charging forward into the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and into the ring as one. The four members of Team Heel look at the sight, then charge forward, looking to stop them before they can get started. “HERE WE GO!” cries Comet as the eight men charge at each other, looking ready to tear each other limb from limb.

 

Each team rallies in the corner as the music fades. The faces finish their discussion, and Tom Flesher steps into the ring to the cheers of the crowd. The heels start to clear out, and Michael Craven pushes his way through!

 

“Craven and Flesher are going to start this one off,” says Riley. “And Michael Craven’s going to get another shot at Flesher! He’s gonna soften him up for that title shot he just won!”

 

“On the contrary, Robert, Flesher could be softening HIM up!”

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!

 

Flesher and Craven meet in the center of the ring, and the fans quiet down, anticipating the two men trading facelocks for the first few minutes. They sit in rapt attention, waiting for the holds to start, and…

 

 

WHAM!!!!!!

 

 

Craven lets loose with a big right hand that catches Flesher in the face! The crowd lets out an “Ooooooooooooh!” as Flesher steps backwards holding his jaw. Craven steps in, grabbing Flesher by the wrist and whipping him to the ropes. Flesher rebounds, and the King of Nightmares nearly takes his head off with a lariat! As Flesher crashes to the mat, Craven drops onto him for a cover, but the referee doesn’t even get to the mat for a one-count before Flesher kicks out! He rolls to his stomach, and Craven mounts him from behind. Flesher reaches up and grabs Craven’s head with both hands, pulling him forward into a tripod bridge. The World Champion takes advantage of his opponent’s bad position and slides out between Craven’s legs, coming to his feet behind him!

 

“And here, the Superior Citizen shows once again why he is considered the top mat wrestler in the SWF today! He shows his ability to counter from any position and come out on top.”

 

“Yeah, after getting knocked around by the Gulf Coast Hurricane,” says Bobby Riley. “Flesher can’t afford to take two hits just to get in position like that. If he keeps that up, Craven’s going to be all over him by the end of the night, and Tom’ll be ripe for the picking.”

 

As Craven gets to his feet, Flesher grabs him around the waist and lifts him off his feet for a German suplex! Craven sees it coming and drops to one knee to keep Flesher from lifting him. The fans boo the cowardly action, and Flesher unlocks his hands. Craven starts back to his feet, but Flesher dives in and dropkicks him in the pit of the knee to put him back on the mat! The crowd applauds, and Flesher keeps the pressure on by taking Craven by the wrist and whipping him to the ropes! Craven bounces off, and Flesher catches him with a picture-perfect Railgun suplex! The former Pokefreak hits the mat with a thud near the ropes, and the crowd bursts into cheers! Both men roll to their stomachs, and Flesher springs to his feet quickly. As Craven gets up, Tom grabs him by the head and locks on a front facelock. He ducks down, lifting the enormous Craven off the mat and into a vertical suplex. He stalls for half a second, and then falls forward, dumping the contender stomach-first across the top rope! Craven leans on the ropes, holding his gut in pain as the crowd watches Flesher backing up. The begin to cheer, and as soon as Craven looks up,

 

 

WHACK!!!!!!

 

 

Flesher nails him in the face with a Yakuza kick! Craven jumps backwards off the apron, and the crowd cheers its collective head off as Flesher plays to them by starting up a self-congratulatory golf clap! His teammates look excited, and as William Hearford enters the ring to replace Craven, Johnny Dangerous reaches out and accepts Flesher’s offer to tag in.

 

“Tom Flesher sends Michael Craven to the outside with a front suplex and a Yakuza kick, and now Johnny Dangerous and William Hearford square off,” says Bobby Riley. “Hopefully Hearford will show that Frenchy bastard what’s what.”

 

“I don’t believe Citizen Dangerous has ever even been to France, Robert,” Comet replies.

 

“Oh, come on. Look at the way he smokes those cigarettes. Are you going to tell me he’s a meat and potatoes American? No way!”

 

Dangerous springs into the ring as William Hearford moves to the center. Johnny sprints toward the Judge, who extends his arm to look for a lariat. Dangerous ducks the clothesline, and the fans applaud him. He bounces off the ropes, and Hearford spins around just in time to see him coming! Johnny jumps off the mat, planning to use his momentum to attack the Judge, but Hearford sees it coming and ducks! The Dangerous one keeps his momentum and shifts his weight, leapfrogging over the crooked judge to avoid planting himself in the mat. He hits the ground running and sprints toward the ropes as Hearford stands up. Johnny, though, jumps up once again, hitting the middle rope and jumping backwards! Hearford turns around just in time to catch a solid elbow to the face, and the crowd applauds as he crumbles to the mat! Johnny follows him down, rolling backwards and springing to his feet! The crowd cheers loudly for him as he pauses to strike a martial arts pose, waiting for Hearford to come to.

 

“Operative Dangerous enters the ring and immediately makes an impact!” declares Cyclone Comet, his voice showing that he’s trying to stifle the excitement he feels. “Dangerous knows that if his team can keep the pressure on, they’ll take this one easily.”

 

“Of course, that’s dependent on Dangerous not fucking anything up,” Riley says dryly. “That may be more than Flesher and Company can hope for.”

 

Johnny waits in his stance for Hearford to get to his feet. The Judge makes his way back up fairly quickly, but Johnny is ready for him and catches his arm. He slings the arm over his shoulder and pivots, sending the bench warmer to the mat with a judo-style shoulder throw! The Judge rolls through, feeling the impact on his back but getting back up very quickly. He turns around just as Johnny spins at him to nail him in the throat with a karate chop, but Hearford deflects the blow with an arm block! He turns Johnny to face him squarely, then hammers him in the chest with a knife-edge chop!

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

Johnny staggers backwards, caught off-guard by the sheer force of Hearford’s chop! ‘Judge Mental’ takes the opportunity to slam into Johnny’s chest once again!

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

Johnny staggers backwards into the corner, and Hearford follows him in, assaulting him over and over with knife-edge chops!

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

Johnny crumbles back against the buckles, and Hearford looks over at the adjacent corner, where the face team stands in unison. Hearford smirks and whips Johnny into the face corner, standing cockily at the corner and staring at Wildchild.

 

“Look at the egotism being shown by His Dishonor,” says Cyclone Comet. “He sends his opponent into the corner and challenges the opposition to face off with him!”

 

“And none of them are willing to step up. What a bunch of cowards,” says Riley.

 

Johnny shakes off the impact and starts out of the corner, but Wildchild reaches over and slaps him on the shoulder! The fans begin to cheer as Wildchild vaults over the top rope! Hearford steps toward the center as Wildchild and Johnny link hands. WC pivots, cracking the whip to send Johnny at Hearford! Dangerous leaves his feet and throws a clothesline at the Judge, but Hearford dodges the clothesline. Johnny lands on the ropes and catches his footing on the bottom, holding on to the top strand for balance just as Wildchild dives at the Judge! He somersauls, catching him with a koppo kick that stuns him in a bent-over position! As the Bahaman Bomber rolls out of the way, Johnny jumps off the bottom rope, springs off the middle and backflips over Hearford! As Hearford stands up, Johnny spins around quickly and nails him with a chop to the throat! Hearford staggers backwards, and reaches out to tag in Fasaki! The crowd issues a collective “Ooooooooooh!” as they anticipate the Fasaki-Wildchild showdown.

 

“And this is what the fans are here to see!” says Cyclone Comet. “Tonight, will Ejiro Fasaki once again squeak past the Wildchild, or will Wildchild finally put Fasaki on his back once and for all? You could cut the tension with a knife!”

 

“The first thing,” says Riley confidently.

 

“The first thing?”

 

“Yeah, the thing about squeaking past him again. Fasaki’s got it all over Wildchild, so he’s going to squeak past him. Not hard, Comet.”

 

“Ironic that you’d say that. I see the way you stare at Fasaki.”

 

“Oh, that’s enough of that.”

 

Fasaki stands on the apron, a smarmy grin on his face. Wildchild stares at him, the emotion showing through his face paint as if to say “Come git me, brah.” Ejiro simply shakes his head, and the crowd bursts into a chorus of boos.

 

The crowd continues booing as William Hearford springs back to his feet and sprints at Johnny, nearly taking his head off with a blindside lariat! Johnny twists in mid-air, coming to rest on the mat as Hearford stays on him like white on Rice! He grabs Johnny by the waist and lifts him off the mat, arching backwards with a picture-perfect German suplex that knocks the wind right out of him! Johnny rolls through, ending up on his stomach. Hearford simply kicks him in the ribs, rolling him out of the ring.

 

Hearford doesn’t, however, see Wildchild coming at him from behind, and as the Islander leaps through the air, he nails Hearford in the back of the head with a picture-perfect enzuigiri! Hearford staggers into the corner, and Wildchild follows him in, bouncing off the bottom rope and planting his feet into the Judge’s stomach! He grabs Hearford by the head and rolls backwards, sending him up and over with a monkey flip! Hearford rolls to his stomach, stunned, and Wildchild runs to the opposite ropes! His sights are set on Fasaki, and as Hearford starts to push himself up off the mat, the Bahamaniac jumps on his back and springs off it! Hearford is flattened back to the mat, and Wildchild launches himself through the air! He extends his body and flies at Ejiro, nailing the unsuspecting Rule with a flying body press that takes the pair from the apron to the concrete! The Sydney crowd bursts into a chant of “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” as the two hit the floor, and Hearford rolls out onto the apron!

 

“Holy crap!” shouts Comet. “Wildchild knew that he wasn’t going to get Ejiro into the ring with him willingly, so he did what he needed to in order to get at him! What’s more, he was able to hit a flying body press, taking advantage of…”

 

“That illegal chest protector!” Riley is livid. “There will be a protest on Mark Stevens’ office tomorrow morning if Wildchild wins this one as a result of that ridiculous abuse of the rules! It’s terrible! Just fucking awful!”

 

After a moment of silence in the ring, the crowd’s chant subsides and is replaced with a swelling cheer as the giant Boston Strangler steps over the top rope, his sights set on his opponent in the corner of Team Heel! Erek Taylor dutifully steps through the ropes, and the crowd bursts into a chant of “TBS! TBS!”

 

“And finally we have the Boston Strangler! Citizen Katowski recently got some very good advice from Edwin MacPhisto, and we’re going to see if he can implement it!”

 

Taylor moves toward Strangler, who looks as if he’s going to lock up… but instead slams Taylor in the face with a stone fist! Taylor staggers backwards, and Strangler continues pounding him over and over again with stiff rights and lefts! Taylor tries to block them, but Strangler is just too strong! The crowd cheers as he pounds Taylor over and over again, hammering him, just beating the piss out of his much smaller opponent!

 

“The Boston Strangler is literally beating Citizen Taylor’s face in!” shouts Cyclone Comet, sounding extremely proud. “Can the High-Flying Prince do anything to stop the assault?!”

 

“God, I hope so,” says Riley. “He’s one of the top merchandise sellers to the crucial 12-to-15-year-old girl demographic AND the 18-to-24-gay-male bracket.”

 

“I had no idea you were that young.”

 

TBS lands one final smash to the face, stunning Taylor. He turns around, throwing his hands into the air and prompting an absolutely HUGE cheer from the crowd! Strangler’s face lights up!

 

“And he realizes once again that the fans love him!” shills Comet. “Bobby, isn’t this beautiful?”

 

As Strangler soaks in the crowd’s adulation, however, Erek shakes off the force of some of the blows. Strangler turns around, and before he knows what hit him…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

Taylor nails him in the torso with a stomach tackle off the second rope! Strangler falls backwards, and Taylor somersaults through! He comes up to his feet running and bounces off the ropes, jumping over Strangler and running to the other side! As Strangler sits up, Taylor dives at him and nails him with a dropkick to the head! The crowd boos him loudly, but Taylor simply issues them a “shoo, fly” motion to tell them to shut up. This, of course, further incenses the crowd, and they continue screaming their disapproval as Taylor leaps into the air, dropping an elbow across Strangler’s chest! Taylor, seeming to know he won’t get a pin this early, gets back to his feet. He walks to the nearest turnbuckle, with all the Team Heel members cheering him on! He climbs to the top rope. As Strangler starts to get up, Taylor leaps off the turnbuckle, nailing him in the back with a surgically precise missile dropkick! The crowd continues booing as TBS staggers into the corner. Taylor runs in, running up Strangler’s body and nailing a kick to the chin! Bobby Riley shouts, “The Wolf’s Frenzy is starting!” as Strangler staggers forward, allowing Taylor to nail him with a kick to the thigh. He jumps up, using the momentum to hit a kick to the ribs, and finally one to the head! The Boston Strangler, stunned, stumbles backwards toward the corner! Erek Taylor jumps up, bounces off the middle rope and throws himself backward, nailing Strangler in the jaw with a springboard leg lariat! The crowd once again bursts into a “HOLY SHIT!” chant as Strangler and Taylor both spill over the top rope and onto the concrete!

 

“Incredible!” shouts Bobby Riley. “Erek Taylor is willing to risk his body just to get the final word in on this Boston baked bean! He’s just that much better, because he has heart! All Strangler has is a big chunk of meat loaf stuck to his shirt!”

 

With Strangler and Taylor out of action momentarily, Michael Craven steps up to take the Team Heel spot in the ring! Looking utterly menacing, he enters the ring and smiles sadistically toward Team Face.

 

“And who’s going to step up for Team Face?” wonders Comet aloud. “Will it be Tom Flesher or Johnny Dangerous? Or…”

 

Wildchild enters the ring, sliding under the ropes as he finishes recovering from the body press to the outside! The fans burst into cheers as he shakes off the impact, and seems both adrenalized and almost fresh! Craven and Wildchild circle each other as the crowd finally begins to calm down, still wound up from the incredible sequence that just transpired. The other six men are on the apron, in various stages of exhaustion, as WC makes the first move and charges forward, drilling Craven across the jaw with a hard flying forearm. Craven staggers backwards and takes a moment to regain his balance, and WC takes the advantage with a hard dropkick to the sternum of Craven. The King of Nightmares goes crashing down on his ass to the ground, but Craven quickly starts to push himself up before WC charges forward and hits Craven right in the jaw with a sit-out dropkick. Craven’s head goes whipping back and crashing against the canvas, where his head connects solidly with the mat. “W-C! W-C!” chants start to pick up, although they die down fairly quickly, as Craven lashes out off the mat with a hard kick to the stomach, which stops Wildchild in his tracks.

 

“Craven scores with a sharp kick to the jaw, stopping Wildchild’s momentum before it has a chance to get started” remarks Comet.

 

“That’s going to be very indicative of this match tonight, Comet” shoots back Riley.

 

Craven pushes himself forcefully to his feet, and immediately runs forward to clothesline WC to the mat. The Bahama Bomber is flattened by the massive right clothesline, but he immediately spins up to his feet, seemingly undazed by the maneuver. However, a second Craven clothesline drops WC again, and keeps him down on the canvas for a moment. The crowd has quieted down now that Craven has taken control, and the crowd watches on as Craven scoops WC up to his feet and applies a headlock, using his massive weight advantage to work on WC. Wildchild does his best to struggle, but the 65 pound weight advantage is enough to keep Wildchild firmly grounded by Craven. Wildchild throws a quick punch into the side of Craven, but the King of Nightmares shrugs off the blow, which had little force behind it. WC struggles a second more, then jams his head forward, drilling Craven in the stomach with a headbutt. Craven doubles over a bit, and his grip loosens enough to allow Wildchild to escape his grasp. Wildchild immediately darts backwards and charges back against the ropes before bouncing off them and springing towards Craven. He drills Craven with a stinging leg lariat, which sends Craven flying backwards against the ropes behind him. Craven balances himself on those, and Wildchild takes advantage with a massive missile dropkick to the dead center of Craven’s chest, which sends Craven falling to the outside.

 

“Wildchild has regained control of the match” cries Comet over the cheers of the crowd, which suddenly starts to boo as Ejiro Fasaki comes charging into the ring and drills Wildchild with a hard forearm to the back of the head. Wildchild goes stumbling forward, but referee Mark Hebner quickly interjects himself, pushing Fasaki back towards his corner. “It figures that Citizen Fasaki would be the one to attack Wildchild in such a devious, underhanded manner!” shouts Comet angrily as Fasaki is pushed back into his own corner. Wildchild glares over at Ejiro, who is screaming at WC, but Wildchild’s feet are suddenly pulled out from under him as Craven, still on the outside, reaches in and yanks hard on Craven’s ankles. Wildchild hits the canvas hard face-first, and the Sydney crowd gives Craven a piece of its mind, booing heavily as Craven nonchalantly climbs back into the ring, looking rather pleased with himself.

 

“What teamwork by Craven and Fasaki! We haven’t seen any such things from the face team yet in this matchup, Comet, and I doubt we ever will. This heel team just works too well together!”

 

Wildchild slowly pushes himself off the canvas, but Craven delivers a hard toe kick to the ribs of Wildchild, sending him dropping back to the canvas. Craven follows up with another sharp kick to the left shoulder of Wildchild, sending WC rolling across the ring to escape. However, he makes the mistake of rolling into the wrong corner, and as he tries to get to his feet, three men start hammering away on him, knocking him back to the canvas. Wildchild tries to escape the corner on all fours, but he walks straight into a MASSIVE toe kick from Craven that connects squarely with Wildchild’s face. WC falls onto his back and lies there, covering his face. Craven looks down at his foot, which has a few smudges of face paint on it, and delicately wipes the boot off, which draws a MASSIVE round of heat from the crowd.

 

Craven reaches down and pulls WC up again before tossing him roughly into the corner. Craven throws a hard right punch into Wildchild’s gut, sending the air rushing out of him, before reaching over and slapping Erek Taylor’s hand, bringing him into the match. The crowd boos heavily as the High Flying Prince springs over the top rope and lands gracefully in the middle of the ring. Craven is busy hammering away at Wildchild with a series of hard shoulder thrusts, which has Wildchild helpless in the corner. Craven looks to Taylor, and finally backs away, making room for Taylor to come charging forward and drill Wildchild squarely underneath the chin with a huge backflip kick. Taylor lands steadily on his feet and waits for Wildchild to come staggering out of the ropes, totally dazed from the onslaught. He lashes out with his left foot, catching Wildchild with a sharp kick to the side. WC holds that side, opening up a window for Taylor to connect with a big right kick. WC is barely standing now, and Taylor backs up before launching himself forward, connecting with a HUGE superkick square to the jaw. WC crumples to the canvas, totally drained from the attack, and Taylor covers for the first pinfall attempt of the match.

 

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

T-NO!

 

 

“And the Wolf’s Frenzy does a good deal of damage, but not enough to take Erek Taylor down for the count” comments Comet, who looks somewhat concerned for Wildchild in the ring.

 

“Still, Wildchild is in BAD shape right now, Comet. He’s been destroyed early, and Team Face is in real danger of going down 4-3 early on in this one.”

 

Comet quickly counters: “But you must remember that Erek Taylor, while extremely fast, is not used to being in a ring with someone faster than him! And Wildchild is most certainly faster than Erek Taylor! If he can escape this predicament, we could be in for a real show!”

 

Erek picks Wildchild up off the canvas and whips WC towards the ropes, but Wildchild uses his weight advantage to counter the whip. Erek goes bouncing off the ropes, and flying back toward Wildchild. WC sets himself and sends Taylor flying up into the air for a back body drop, but Taylor manages to counter, grabbing onto Wildchild’s head before pulling him downwards to the canvas with a NASTY DDT that drops Wildchild onto the canvas, motionless for the first time in the match. Erek rolls over and casually hooks the leg as Hebner drops to the canvas to start the three count.

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

THR-NO!

 

 

“And Wildchild kicks out again!”

 

“But it did take him longer that time, Comet” replies Riley. “It’s definitely a bad sign for Wildchild, who can’t take too much more before he goes down here.”

 

Wildchild starts groping towards his corner, looking at Dangerous, Flesher, and particularly Strangler straining their hands towards him, looking to get into the match. WC makes it about halfway to the corner when the hands of Erek Taylor clamp down upon his ankle and drag him back towards the center of the ring. WC turns over onto his back and swings out, but the wild kick comes nowhere near connecting with Taylor. Taylor retaliates with a quick stomp on the shin of Wildchild, which draws a howl from the Bahama Bomber. Taylor drags Wildchild to his face, applies a front facelock, and then starts to lift Wildchild into the air for a suplex. Wildchild goes swinging up into the air, but powers through and escapes Taylor’s grasp before landing on his feet behind Taylor. Taylor turns around, and Wildchild POPS Ejiro Fasaki in the face with an elbow that would make Danny Williams proud. Taylor is totally shell-shocked by the elbow, and Wildchild takes advantage, bouncing off the ropes before charging forward and taking Taylor to the mat with a high leg lariat. The fans are exploding in the arena as Wildchild’s adrenaline seems to wear off, and he turns to his corner, looking to make a tag once again.

 

“Wildchild REALLY needs to make the tag here, Robert!” screams Comet over the crowd, who are as loud as they have been in the match. Wildchild is making his way towards the corner, headed towards Flesher, the man nearest to him. Wildchild is three feet away….two feet away…he prepares to launch himself forwards….

 

…until Erek Taylor grabs ahold of Wildchild’s ankle, stopping him from slapping Flesher’s hand. The crowd groans, obviously upset over the situation, but Wildchild flips around and goes for another spinning kick. This one connects squarely with Erek Taylor’s jaw, and Taylor drops to the ground after suffering a second brutal blow to the jaw within thirty seconds. He holds his face tightly, looking down at the canvas, oblivious to the happenings in the ring as Wildchild starts moving towards his corner again, looking for the tag. Suddenly, the crowd EXPLODES, and Erek Taylor seizes up, knowing exactly what has happened. He finally raises his head off the canvas, and sees the Boston Strangler entering the ring with a fire burning in his eyes, and both hands raised.

 

“Here it goes, Robert! They tangled earlier, but this time, it counts!”

 

“You are SUCH a goddamn shill…”

 

Taylor spring up to his feet and charges forward, looking to land something, but Strangler delivers a brutal big boot to Taylor’s face, leveling the Wonder Kid before he can get started. Strangler starts stomping away at Taylor, not allowing him to get to his feet. Taylor covers his head while trying to crawl away, but Strangler’s hand latches around the scruff of Taylor’s neck and yanks him roughly to his feet. Strangler whips him into the ropes, and as Taylor comes flying back, lifts him HIGH into the air before planting him on the canvas with a massive spinebuster. Taylor just lies there on the mat as Strangler gets the lateral press for the pinfall attempt.

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-NO!

 

 

“And Ejiro Fasaki makes his presence felt again as he interferes, kicking Strangler off of Taylor!”

 

“Mark Hebner should not stand for such tomfoolery, Robert! This could be a real issue throughout the match!”

 

Hebner starts pushing Fasaki out of the ring again, but Strangler is quickly back on his feet and charges forward towards Fasaki. Hebner escapes just in time as Strangler levels Fasaki with a clothesline, much to the delight of the Sydney crowd. Fasaki rolls out of the ring, and Strangler starts screaming at him before Judge and Craven, standing next to each other on the ring apron, reach over and drill Strangler with a brutal double forearm. Strangler was totally caught off-guard, and is knocked for a loop by the double forearm. He shakes his head, trying to get his faculties back, and turns to meet Erek, who has gotten back to his feet and is charging back towards Strangler. He launches himself into the air and lands squarely on Strangler’s chest. Strangler staggers for a moment, trying to keep his balance, but fails and drops to the ground as Taylor’s right hand locks around Strangler’s throat and start choking Strangler as best he can. Erek starts flailing away with wild left hands to Strangler’s face as he chokes away. Strangler tries to pry Taylor’s hand off of his throat, but Taylor is in another place right now, and the hand refuses to budge. Strangler looks around wildly, then shoots forward and wraps his hand around Erek Taylor’s throat. Taylor freezes just for a second as his eyes go wide, and that gives Strangler the opening he needs. Strangler pushes himself up to his feet as Erek releases the choke hold he has, choosing to flail away at Strangler with both hands, trying to free himself. Strangler ignores the frenzied punches, however, and lifts Taylor high into the air before planting him to the canvas with a massive chokeslam. The crowd goes beserk, overjoyed to see Taylor down and out, and anticipate a Strangler cover.

 

“Citizen Strangler has it! Erek has taken the Plunge, and now Team Face is poised to go up 1 in this match!”

 

However, Strangler chooses not to go for the cover. The crowd seems confused, but then explodes as Strangler signals for the Boston Massacre, looking to firmly end this match. Strangler shouts something to Mark Hebner, who immediately heads for the heel corner, screaming at Ejiro Fasaki, who has one foot in the ring. As Hebner and Fasaki scream at each other some more, Strangler hoists Taylor to his feet and lifts him into the air. Taylor is balanced above Strangler’s head, in a gorilla press, as flashbulbs erupt around the arena. Strangler waits just a moment longer, then drops Erek Taylor to the mat with the Boston Massacre. Strangler crawls over to cover Erek Taylor as Mark Hebner screams one last threat at Ejiro, then slides into position to make the count.

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

DING DING DING!

 

“THE FIRST MAN ELIMINATED IN THIS MATCH, FROM TEAM HEEL, EREK TAAAAAAAAAYLOR!”

 

“He did it Strangler pinned Erek Taylor! What a moment this must be for the Boston Strangler!” The fans obviously agree with Comet, giving Strangler a MASSIVE ovation for the occasion. Strangler looks around the arena, obviously somewhat moved by the applause, then turns his attention to Judge Mental, who crawls in underneath the top rope. He charges forward as Erek rolls out of the ring, and Strangler quickly takes down Judge with a brutally stiff clothesline. Judge pushes himself up, but Strangler levels him with another clothesline, then sets himself, ready for Judge to give it another try. Judge pulls himself up with the ropes, but barely has time to balance himself before Strangler levels him AGAIN with a clothesline. The crowd is hot as hell for Strangler, cheering on the big man, who is looking absolutely dominant right now.

 

“Right now, Strangler is on FIRE, Robert. He just eliminated Erek Taylor, and now he’s tossing Judge around like a rag doll! Whatever Edwin MacPhisto said to him has truly worked wonders!”

 

“It’s Strangler, Comet. He’ll find a way to fuck this up really soon. He’s good at doing that.”

 

Strangler pauses, hoping for Judge to get up again, but the wily veteran is smart enough to slide to the outside, looking to catch a breather. Strangler prepares to follow him, but Ejiro Fasaki starts to climb into the ring again, which draws Hebner’s attention. Craven is right behind him, and Hebner has his hands full trying to keep both men out of the ring. Strangler starts screaming at both of them, as well as Judge and anyone else who is bothering to listen to him. Suddenly, the cheers of the crowd turn to boos, and Strangler looks around before turning right into a VICIOUS chairshot from Erek Taylor! Taylor, still looking totally out of it, swings the chair a second time, and the CRACK~! from the chair echoes throughout the Sydney Dome as Strangler falls to the ground like a massive tree cut down at the roots. Judge sees the happenings, and immediately slides into the ring, looking extremely hopeful. Craven catches sight of what’s going on, and elbows Fasaki, who spies the happenings as well. Both men immediately restrain themselves, and Hebner looks at them suspiciously before turning and seeing Judge hook the leg of Strangler. Hebner quickly looks to the outside, and sees Erek Taylor lying motionless on the outside, playing possum, before the screams from Hearford send Hebner sliding into position to make the count.

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

“Not like this! Strangler cannot be eliminated like this!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

DING DING DING!

 

“THE BOSTON STRANGLER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!”

 

Angered by the wrongful elimination, Johnny lunges into the ring, and makes a beeline for the Judge, just as Hearford gets back to his feet!

 

WHAM!

 

SMACK!

 

WHAP!

 

 

Three well placed punches into the face of Judge Mental catch the sexy senior citizen off-guard and knock him back into the ropes! He staggers forward, propelled by the ropes, and the Barracuda begins a complete three sixty spin. Spanning from those closest to the stage all the way around the entire circle of the arena, the fans hold their breath as they watch Johnny hike his leg up and gracefully swing it toward Justice while pivoting on one foot-

 

 

KA-RAACK!!

 

 

AND PRACTICALLY SHATTERS HIZZONER’S SKULL WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK TO THE HEAD!

 

“WHAT a kick!” shouts Comet as the Judge is knocked right out of his shoes! “I didn’t think I have ever seen Johnny land such a devastating blow!”

 

“That should be outlawed!” cries Bobby! “This is a wrestling match, not Enter The Dragon!”

 

Johnny drops straight down onto the Judge’s body for a cover, and Mark Hebner slides in for the count.

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

T-*WHAM!!

 

“Stopped just short of three by Citizen Fasaki.” says Comet after Ejiro slams the blunt of his foot into the back of Johnny’s skull to end the count! Johnny rolls onto his stomach, and Rule stays on him, relentlessly stomping away at the Barracuda until the referee finally steps in and forces the interloper back to his corner.

 

“Such underhanded tactics employed by the team of Justice & Rule,” says Comet. “Have they ever heard of a fair fight?”

 

“Fair!” cries Bobby, simply appalled. “How can you say Justice, Rule and Michael Craven have a fair fight? They’re going against almost all the singles title holders in the SWF! I think they owe themselves a little advantage!”

 

With his hand massaging the back of his head, Johnny rises to his feet. He eyes the corner where Fasaki stands alongside Michael Craven. Looking about as innocent as a kid in a candy store, Ejiro shrugs his shoulders.

 

“Like he never even left the corner!”

 

“I wouldn’t know,” says Riley. “Damn cheap monitor went out.”

 

Reaching down and grabbing a fistful of hair, Johnny begins to pull Hearford to his feet, leaving himself wide open as his opponent slings his fist deep into the Barracuda’s gut! The Judge reaches up and grabs onto Johnny’s shirt. He starts to pull himself up, but the Secret Agent refuses to allow his target to escape! Johnny bats at the top of Hearford’s head, but the Judge seems unscathed as he continues clawing his way to his feet with his two cornermen cheering him on… but Johnny tries again! Determined not to let the feeble punches sway him, Hearford finally pops up to his feet with a mighty swing of his fist!

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

Johnny stumbles back a whole three steps, and his hand instinctively shoots up to his mouth. He pats his bottom lip, checking for blood as he steps towards the corner where his team eagerly awaits… but the Judge closes in from behind. Johnny’s eyes widen to roughly the size of dinner plates when he suddenly feels Hearford’s arms wrapping around his mid section from behind! “This can NOT be good,” says Cyclone Comet. The Secret Agent tries to swing his elbow back into ‘Judge Mental’s’ face, but the jurist simply tears Johnny off the mat, hauls him up, and sends his neck and shoulders CRASHING into the mat!

 

“German suplex from William Hearford!” calls Bobby. “The Judge is absolutely deadly in the suplex department… I know I wouldn’t want to take one of those.”

 

“The suplex department, eh?” muses Comet. “Well, by the looks of that, Johnny may have ended up the next floor down! Broken necks, broken dreams, broken promises! But nonetheless, Johnny may find the escalator and climb out of the Basement of Evil!”

 

Hearford gives Johnny about 0.3 seconds to recover from the devastating blow before pulling him back up to his feet, arms still locked around the waist. He hauls him up again and SLAMS him to the canvas a second time!

 

“We’ve got the rolling Krauts going!” says Bobby as Hearford again pulls the shell-shocked spy to his feet! Johnny’s head sways back and forth, his neck resembling a well-cooked piece of asparagus, as Justice once again pulls him up off his feet, and sends his crashing back down to the canvas! He holds the bridge!

 

“And this may be all she wrote for Dangerous!” Bobby says.

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-WHACK!!!!!!!!

 

With only a hair’s breadth to spare, Tom Flesher rushes to make the save, kicking the arch of Hearford’s back!

 

Comet winces, “These teams are doing everything they can to keep their manpower!”

 

Riley begins to speak, but Comet simply says, “Don’t go there.”

 

Judge rolls onto the mat, writhing in pain. Flesher smiles, then backsteps towards the corner before the referee even has a chance to bark an order.

 

“I’m glad at least ONE team follows the rules,” says Comet.

 

“How the hell is that following the rules?” says Bobby. “I don’t think you’re allowed to rush in and make a save every time your partner gets pinned.”

 

Johnny finally rolls onto his stomach and begins to edge his way towards the corner, while Hizzoner does the same on his end. The Judge reaches his corner first, reaching out to... Michael Craven? No wait, Ejiro! Too late! Craven reaches out and slaps Hearford’s hand, then comes barreling into the ring!

 

 

SLAP!

 

 

And Johnny tags the hand of the Bahama Bomber! He slumps to the mat as the King of Nightmares storms in from behind! Wildchild leaps onto the top rope and gives it one good bounce before flying off and slamming into Craven with a Superfly splash! The crowd lets out a cheer as the Human Hurricane’s body impacts Craven’s! It quickly turns to a chorus of boos when the Nightmare uses the momentum to roll to his knees, placing Wildchild in quite the compromising position!

 

“Craven’s going for the Gulf Coast Crunch - The Bahama Bomber is about to bomb out!” snickers Riley.

 

Craven comes to his feet grinning, with Wildchild bucking and struggling to get free! Michael winds himself up-

 

but Johnny lunges off the mat, twisting in mid-air! He latches his hands around Craven’s neck, and drops the Nightmare’s chin across his shoulder as he falls to the mat with a Diamond Cutter!

 

“Johnny Cutter out of absolutely nowhere!” screams Comet! “That was within the allotted five seconds, so it’s perfectly legal!”

 

“Oh, come on!”

 

“I was just pointing it out for those at home who may be unfamiliar with the rules,” Comet replies. “After all, if you can be a commentator and know nothing about the sport, surely a fan or two may be unversed.”

 

Johnny makes his way to the apron while Wildchild rolls off of Craven, then rolls the King of Nightmare’s onto his back.

 

“And Michael Craven could be done for already after that Johnny Cutter, especially with the added weight of Wildchild on his neck!”

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO-KICK OUT!!!!

 

 

Craven throws a shoulder off the mat, and J&R both step back to the outside after cautiously starting into the ring.

 

“Just look at that,” says Comet. “Justice and Rule have no faith in Craven’s skills, if any.”

 

“Pfft. They have plenty of faith- it’s just never safe to assume.”

 

Wildchild grabs Craven by the chin as the Hurricane starts up to his feet. The Bahaman helps him the rest of the way, then drives a knee into Craven’s gut to keep him at bay! He drags him to the corner and tags Johnny Dangerous.

 

“What the hell?” says Bobby. “Johnny was just in!”

 

“They’re rotating partners in and out, somewhat like your bedroom.”

 

Johnny steps in, full of fire… but the fans boo as Johnny gets knocked off his rocker! He stumbles back from the surprise strike. Craven closes in with a second, then a third punch to the head and floats to the side of the Barracuda to slap on a side headlock! He tightens his gri, nearly popping Johnny’s skull as the Barracuda bucks and flails! He backpedals to the ropes, ounces back, and manages to shoot the King of Nightmares off! Craven runs to the far ropes, bounces off, and comes charging back towards the Secret Agent! Johnny sprawls to the mat, dodging Craven! Craven keeps his momentum as he dashes to the opposite side of the ring, hits the ropes, and springs back towards the Barracuda!

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

“Dropkick waiting for him!” shouts Comet as Michael Craven is absolutely floored! Johnny scrambles across the mat, and lunges for Wildchild’s extended hand, tagging him in!

 

Wildchild enters, then whips Craven across the ring! The King of Nightmares hits the far ropes and bounces off, heading back towards Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous standing shoulder to shoulder! The pair each hook onto one of Craven’s arms, using the momentum to flip him over and send him crashing to the canvas!

 

Not to be left out of the fun, Flesher scales the corner turnbuckle, leaps off, and SLAMS his boots into Craven’s chest with a double stomp!

 

“What the hell was that? A triple team on poor Michael Craven! That’s just uncalled for!”

 

“Tell that to the fans!” Comet replies, “They’re loving every second of it!”

 

“What the hell do they know?”

 

The referee doesn’t let things get too out of hand, though. He barks at the two illegal men to exit, which they graciously do. Craven, however, gets an opportunity to put the ball back in his court as he rises up and slugs Johnny’s jewels! The Barracuda doubles over, and Craven pops up to lock his arm around the Secret Agent’s head! He SPIKES him into the mat with a DDT!!

 

Hebner turns back around at the noise, and both Flesher and Wildchild are baffled as to why Johnny is lying on his back while Craven is crawling towards his corner. The smirks of both Justice and Rule say it all, though, as Craven makes the tag!

 

“Here comes Ejiro!” cries Riley.

 

“Like a vulture swooping in on a dead animal, never the one to make the kill, but willing to partake.”

 

“Oh, shut up.”

 

Ejiro drags Johnny to his feet and throws an arm over his shoulder. He stands at the Barracuda’s side, stops for a moment to flick his finger tips across his chin in the direction of the Bahama Bomber, and locks his arms around the Barracuda’s waist! Rule yanks just as hard as he can to attempt a vertical suplex, but the Secret Agent quickly regains his senses! He simply wraps his arm around Rule’s chin, stopping him dead in his tracks! Johnny squeezes hard, then reverses the motion and slams Fasaki to the mat! Ejiro hits hard and Johnny tears across the ring!

 

Ejiro pushes himself up and gets back onto his feet, spinning towards Johnny just as he rushes forward with his arm cocked so god damned far back you’d think it snap off at any moment!

 

NO! Johnny goes for another lariat, but Ejiro ducks down in the nick o’time, then pops back up! He locks in a half nelson and slams the Barracuda down to the mat! With speed on his side, Ejiro locks in the Cobra Clutch and begins chocking the dear life out of Johnny with his own arm!

 

“There you go, Ejiro!” cheers Bobby. “I knew he was baiting him!”

 

Clawing his way towards the ropes, Johnny tries to break this hold before Ejiro can do any damage, but is slowed to a snails pace when Ejiro slams a headbutt into the back of his skull! Ejiro sits back and smirks.

 

“God Damn! Ejiro’s going to put Johnny away with one move!” says Riley. “Like I keep telling you, Ejiro should be the World Champion! He proves it time and time again!”

 

Johnny struggles for a moment… then sends an elbow back into Ejiro’s chin with a loud CRACK! He loosens Ejiro’s grip just long enough to scramble to the ropes! Reaching out as far as he can, Johnny grabs the rope, and Hebner calls for the break.

 

“And not a second too soon!” says Comet, “I think Citizens Flesher and Child are breathing a little easier in the corner.”

 

Johnny gets to his feet and charges straight for Ejiro! Fasaki tries to put Johnny down with a Sushi punch, but a well-placed forearm block by Johnny foils that plan! Instead, Ejiro finds himself victimized by not one, or even two, but three fists in rapid succession! Johnny grabs Ejiro and whips him towards the turnbuckle!

 

“NO!” shouts Bobby as Ejiro suddenly reverses, sending Johnny flying to the buckles!

 

Johnny’s back slams into the steel ring post with a sickening thud, grabbing a sympathetic “Ooooooooh!” from the stands! The Barracuda grimaces in pain as he staggers out of the corner holding his back, while Fasaki storms across the ring, pivoting...

 

 

WHACK!

 

 

“ROLLING ELBOW!” calls Bobby. Ejiro stands tall and gives the booing crowds a military salute followed by a middle finger before heading to the corner and tagging in Michael Craven.

 

Mike rushes in and grabs onto the ropes, relentlessly stomping away on Johnny’s chest!

 

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

WHAM!

 

Stopping just short of breaking a rib, Craven jams the heel of his foot into Johnny’s neck! Using the ropes to support himself, he pulls his other foot up, putting all his weight on Johnny’s throat! Dangerous grabs Michael’s foot with both hands as he gasps for air, trying to throw the Nightmare off, but the weight is just too much!

 

“What the Hades is he doing?” asks Comet. “He could kill Johnny like that! Surely this match isn’t worth that?!”

 

“Well, Johnny was sure trying to do it to Wildchild at Genesis,” says Bobby, “and look who’s in Johnny’s corner now.”

 

“Get off him!!” shouts Hebner, but his orders go in one ear and out the other! Bouncing up and down on one foot, Craven begins to push the limit!

 

“He’s going to get himself disqualified!” says Comet.

 

“At least it’d be for a good cause.”

 

Finally relenting, Michael grabs Johnny’s arm and drags his lifeless carcass into the middle of the ring, dropping down for a cover.

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!!

 

Johnny rockets his arm off the mat!

 

“God Damn it, that was three!” shouts Craven, but Hebner stands firm.

 

Craven dismisses the referee with a wave, then leans down and grabs two handfuls of hair to pull Johnny to his feet.

 

“This is NOT looking good for the Dangerous One.” says Comet. “If he wants to be able and overcome this obstacle, he’s going to have to unleash his inner HULK~!”

 

“Best advice for Johnny would be to lie down and get this one over with, before he gets seriously hurt!”

 

Landing one good punch to the Barracuda’s skull, Michael keeps him under control. He pivots behind Johnny, locks his arms around his waist, and hauls him over for a belly-to-back suplex! Again, Craven makes the cover.

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!

 

 

Michael shoots a glare towards Hebner for a perceived slow count. He spins back around towards Johnny, and again, reaches down for a handful of hair, but Johnny will have none of it! The Barracuda slices his flattened hand through the air, freeing his hair of Craven’s greasy grip, and jumps to his feet! He rears back for a punch and swings his fist forward,

[Guest Suicide King]

not this time! Craven is prepared, quickly sidestepping and then hooking his own arm under Johnny’s. He floats to the side and flings the Secret Agent to the mat with an arm drag! Still holding tightly to the arm, Craven is able to slap on a quick yet deadly Fujiwara armbar, getting a horrid cry for mercy from The Barracuda’s lips!

 

“Rip his arm out, Craven! Rip it out and beat him to death with it! I think that‘s his smoking hand too.”

 

“This is where that Secret Agent training will hopefully kick in!” says Comet. “This man is trained to take abuse and still come back swinging! Oh, and Bobby? He quit smoking- I‘ve seen him wearing the patch.”

 

Johnny pushes up with his free arm and sinks his claws deep into the canvas to drag himself closer to the ropes! A valiant effort, but it is to go nowhere. With the extra 288 pounds loving up on him, he’s anchored to the mat! Johnny grits his teeth, and despite the pain, jerks his arm free with a HUGE tug! Surprisingly, Johnny’s arm slips free and he rolls from harms way, trying to regain some footing. He reaches for the ropes and pulls himself up, making him eye level with Michael Craven as the Nightmare begins to pound Johnny’s back- beating the consciousness right out of him!

 

“Come on, Johnny!” Flesher can be heard shouting, smacking his hand into the top of the turnbuckle.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Flesher!” Judge shouts back loud enough for everyone in the nosebleeds to hear perfectly clear.

 

Comet shakes his head disgracefully. “I must apologize to our viewers at home for Hizzoner’s course language, but you can see the tension here is so very thick!”

 

Wildchild turns towards the crowd and begins to clap his hands high over his head, hoping to inspire his partner! The clapping catches on like wildfire and the fans begin a chant...

 

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

 

The sound of the fans cheering, and chanting his name start to become clearer as he fades back to reality. At first it sounded like nothing more than huge ocean waves crashing into the side of a rocky cliff! Then as he listens harder, it becomes clearer, and clearer.

 

“I think Johnny may be regaining his senses.”

 

Craven growls towards the fans as he bolts to his feet, but it only servers to further their purpose, and the chants grow even louder! Craven looks over towards his corner where both Justice AND Rule have their hands extended for a tag, he waves them off, then takes off across the ring for the ropes.

 

 

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

JOHN-NY!

 

 

Johnny comes springing back to life just a nanosecond before Craven has the chance to paste Johnny’s face with a big boot! He sinks a DEVASTATING Johnny Kick right into Michael’s forehead!

 

“What a beautiful counter strike!” says Comet, with the fans cheering all around him.

 

“God damn it!” cries Riley. “He should have tagged someone else in! He’s starting to get too big for his boots there.”

 

“Clearly!” quips Comet. “I think Johnny just, well, Johnny Kicked Michael Craven straight out of them!”

 

As if hit with a nuclear bomb, the Nightmare’s body flies back before slamming HARD into the canvas! Johnny wastes no time trying to get to his sanctuary. He scurries on all fours towards his the downed Michael Craven, rolls him onto his stomach, sits down and hoists Craven’s leg over his shoulder!

 

“HE’S GOT THE OVER-THE-SHOULDER HALF CRAB LOCKED IN!” shouts Comet. “IT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE CURTAINS FOR MICHAEL CRAVEN!”

 

Craven screams in pain much to the delight of the Australian fans! He slams his balled-up fist into the canvas, trying his hardest to fight back the pain! He isn’t about to give up his position in the match! Pushing off the mat with his hands, Craven begins to make his way towards salvation, but Johnny puts a stop to that by adjusting his grip and yanking back so hard it sends pain through his nerves - the Nightmare screams like he’s having one!

 

“THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT! HE’S GONNA TAP! HE’S GONNA TAP! HE’S... ”

 

“Will you shut the hell up, Comet!” snaps Bobby, “I can’t hear myself think!”

 

The fans are on the edge of their seats. As Michael begins to extend his arm, they rise to their feet! He lets out one last howl of pain and then slowly brings his hand down, and...

 

NOOOOO!!!!! FROM OUT OF NOWHERE, THE JUDGE GRABS CRAVEN’S ARM BEFORE HE CAN TAP AND SLAMS HIS FOOT INTO THE BARRACUDA!!

 

“NO! Dear Odin, no!”

 

Johnny goes tumbling backwards from the Nightmare, his face throbbing as the crowds let out a loud boo!

 

“Way to go, Judge!” cheers Bobby.

 

Mark Hebner moves in to stop Hearford, but the old man shoves him back while letting out a vicious snarl! He stomps toward Johnny, reaching out to sink his meat hooks deep into the Barracuda’s hide-

 

 

WHAM!!

 

 

-but Tom Flesher slides in with a sharp elbow into the chin of the jurist! Hearford goes into a tail spin, and the Superior One gives chase! Tom pulls Judge’s arm, slamming the palm of his hand across Hizzoner’s face!

 

SMACK!

SMACK!

SMACK!

 

The fans let out a huge pop upon seeing Tom Flesher’s patented Bitch Slap™ hit the Judge not once, or even twice, but three times! Hearford stumbles to the ropes and reaches out to catch himself before falling. He stands back up straight and spins around, just as Flesher comes storming in and rams his forearm into Hearford’s neck, knocking him clear over the top rope! Tom slides out of the ring after the Judge, while Fasaki drops down to lend his partner a hand.

 

Johnny drags himself to his feet, then hurries to his corner to tag in the Bahama Bomber!

 

“Wildchild is legal once again,” notes Comet. “They’re wisely using each other’s strength’s exactly when needed.”

 

Craven crawls towards the ropes, but Wild and Dangerous close in from behind. The each grab an arm and peel the Nightmare off the mat, flinging him across the ring. He bounces back and is CREAMED LIKE CORN as the Deadly Duo plant a double drop kick into his chest, dropping him like a bad habit!

 

On the outside, Tom and Ejiro trade blows, but the Superior One overpowers Fasaki with a sharp knee to the gut that doubles him over. Flesher grabs Rule in a reversed face lock, then rolls over to drill his elbow into Fasaki’s chest! The Tag Champ goes down to the concrete, joining his partner. Satisfied, Flesher dusts off his hands, then returns to his corner.

 

“Now that’ s why THIS man is the World Champion.” says Comet.

 

“He’s the World Champion because he hasn’t defended it,” counters Bobby. “At least not in the last two weeks.”

 

Back in the ring, Michael surprisingly rolls back onto his feet, ready to drop to the floor when the Barracuda slides in from behind. Johnny ducks his head in between the Nightmare’s legs, then stands up with Craven on his shoulders!

 

“What the hell is that?” says Bobby, “a totem pole?”

 

“More like a Dangerous Drop, and it’s coming right up!” says Comet. “If they can get this move off, you can kiss Michael Craven goodbye!”

 

“Really?”

 

With the fans cheering loudly, Wildchild leaps to the top turnbuckle and vaults into the air towards the middle of the ring! He reaches out and snatches Craven’s head in a front face lock as he begins to fall, while Johnny kicks his feet out for an Electric Chair Drop!

 

 

WHAAAMM!!

 

 

The ring shakes, and the crowd explodes as The King of Nightmares’ head is viciously slammed face-first into the mat! Craven’s body bounces, rolls in mid air, and lands back on the mat, leaving Bobby’s jaw resting on the announce table!

 

“Oh my God!” screeches Bobby! “They can’t put him out with that!”

 

“The hell they can’t!” snaps Comet. “Maybe Craven should learn not to get so overconfident!”

 

Wildchild rolls onto Craven’s carcass, hooks his leg, and pins his shoulders to the mat! Mark Hebner drops down to make the count with the fans gleefully counting along!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“MICHAEL CRAVEN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!”

 

 

“... And that’s all she wrote for the King of Nightmares!” says Comet cheerfully. “We are now down to INJUSTICE and Rule on one side, with Wild and Dangerously Superior on the other!”

 

“Wild and Dangerously Superior!?” says Bobby, rather confused. “That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!”

 

The referee rolls Craven out of the ring, where he will be escorted out as Wildchild stands tall in the ring. Justice & Rule, after hearing the bell ring, didn’t even need to look and see what happened. They both climb to their apron, and Hearford slides into the ring.

 

“And it doesn’t look good for Justice & Rule,” reiterates Comet. “Hearford, however, looks to be on a mission!”

 

Wildchild, knowing to keep a fresh man in the ring, reaches out and tags in Flesher! The crowd applauds as Flesher makes his entrance. He slides in toward the still-stunned Hearford and quickly grabs him for a collar-and-elbow tie. Taking advantage of the beating Hearford took just moments ago, Flesher hits a crisp duck-under, putting him on the mat. Flesher pulls the arm out, trying to create an opening with which he can stretch the World Tag Team Champion, but Hearford quickly sits out. Flesher backs away, keeping a grip on Justice’s head. As Hearford starts to get up, Flesher releases his grip and dropkicks him straight in the head! He backs away, waiting for the jurist to get to his feet in order to hit a running palm strike to take him out for the match. Hearford pushes his way up, and Flesher charges at him! The Judge, though, sees Flesher coming and ducks! Flesher regroups, hitting the opposite ropes. As he does, Johnny Dangerous slaps him on the shoulder to tag himself in! The Judge sees this out of the corner of his eye, but by all appearances he keeps his focus on Flesher. He throws a lariat, which the World Champion ducks with a baseball slide! He continues sliding, heading out of the ring in hopes of distracting ‘Judge Mental.’ Hearford, however, is watching Dangerous climb the ropes with his peripheral vision. He turns toward Flesher, and Johnny leaps off the top turnbuckle!

 

“SHOOTING JOHNNY PRESS BODYBLOCK!” cries Cyclone Comet, thrilled at Dangerous’s willingness to risk his own neck for the team! “THIS COULD BE IT!”

 

Hearford, though, quickly turns around, seeing the Secret Agent flying through the air at him! As Dangerous’s eyes open wide, Hearford adjusts his positioning and catches Johnny as he flies in for the body block! The Judge catches him, quickly arching back to slam him to the mat with a momentum-assisted belly-to-belly suplex! The crowd groans sadly as Hearford makes the cover.

 

 

ONE!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!

 

 

“JOHNNY DANGEROUS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!”

 

“And then there were four,” says Bobby Riley, as Johnny rolls, stunned, to the outside. Flesher slides back in, hoping to blindside Hearford as he becomes legal, but has no such luck. The Judge sees him coming and nails him with a stiff kick to the face as he slides in. Flesher stays on the mat, but Hearford grabs his head and lifts him to his feet. Flesher struggles, but Hearford simply guides him to the Justice & Rule corner and slams his head into the buckle!

 

“William Hearford is taking charge,” says Bobby Riley. “This is just great stuff. They thought they could put one over on him, and he ended up eliminating one of their guys without even breaking a sweat.”

 

“He won’t be able to continue for very long,” says Comet. “After all, Citizens Flesher and Child are extremely talented individuals, as well as both stunningly intelligent in the ring. Wildchild may take risks, but those risks are calculated.”

 

Hearford chops Flesher across the chest

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

and Flesher convulses in the corner.

 

“Doesn’t look like Flesher’s risk was very well-calculated there, bucko,” says Riley.

 

Hearford rears back, chopping Flesher once again across the chest!

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

And again!

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

And once more!

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

As Flesher leans against the turnbuckles, Hearford quickly tags in Ejiro Fasaki! Fasaki leaps over the top rope, looking absolutely gleeful at the chance to have Flesher in his clutches. Hearford steps out of the ring, and Bobby Riley says, “He’s not taking advantage of his five seconds. How odd.” Hearford grabs Flesher’s arms and crosses them behind the ringpost as Fasaki steps up and nails him with an elbow across the jaw. Flesher reels, trying to get his arms up to protect himself, but Hearford keeps that from happening. Referee Mark Hebner steps up, admonishing Hearford to let Flesher go. Hearford steps back, holding his hands up in a gesture of innocence. Hebner continues cautioning Hearford, and Fasaki takes advantage of the official’s turned back by slamming his forearm across Flesher’s neck and choking him! Wildchild shouts from the corner that there’s a miscarriage of justice going on, and after a few seconds, Hebner realizes he should turn around! When he does, he sees Fasaki leaning on Flesher with all his weight, still choking the World Champion out! He administers the standard five-count, and Fasaki abuses the rule for all it’s worth!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

Finally, Fasaki breaks the hold, and Flesher grabs at his neck, gasping for air!

 

“What a horrible thing to do!” says Cyclone Comet. “That was a true abuse of the system, and Justice & Rule should be ashamed of themselves!”

 

“Why? What happened?”

 

“Let me guess… your…”

 

“… Monitor went out! God damn cheap piece of crap!” Riley snickers to himself, then says “Maybe we can talk Stevens into upgrading our systems. I wonder if we could get cable on these things.”

 

Fasaki whacks Flesher across the face with a stiff right hand, then tags Hearford back in. The Judge coolly steps through the ropes and measures Flesher up, then rears back and chops him again across the chest!

 

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

SMACK!!!! (WHOO!)

 

 

Flesher holds his chest, crying out in pain as Hearford assaults him again and again! The welts from the first round of chops begin to raise on Flesher’s chest, but as Hearford slows down, the assault continues. The Judge reaches up and tags Fasaki in, keeping the pressure on the World Champion.

 

“This can’t be good for Flesher,” says Riley. “Justice & Rule are an experienced team, and Flesher and Wildchild simply aren’t. Justice & Rule are using all the tag strategy they can to isolate Flesher, and he’s definitely worse for wear.”

 

Fasaki steps in, once again elbowing Flesher in the jaw. He grabs Flesher by the left arm, then pivots, throwing the World Champion to the mat with a judo-style shoulder throw! Flesher hits the mat hard and tries to roll through, but Fasaki keeps the arm! He steps around it, applying a pumphandle armbar that causes Flesher to cry out in pain!

 

“And this could be it! Fasaki’s decided he’s going to prove he’s better than Flesher, and what better way to do that than to get him to submit? I tell ya, Comet, this kid’s an Ejinius.”

 

Comet sighs. “Don’t give him any catchphrase ideas, Robert. We just don’t need that.”

 

“Are you kidding me? We’ve got t-shirts on sale that just say ‘Ichiban.’ I think our merchandisers need all the help they can get.”

 

Comet sighs. “You’re not the sharpest rototiller in the shed, Robert.”

 

“I mean, ‘Ichiban!’ What the hell does that even mean?”

 

Flesher struggles, and Fasaki simply plays to the crowd as he works Flesher’s shoulder over. Fasaki yanks the arm up, and Flesher recoils in pain. Fasaki shuffles backwards, nearly sitting on Flesher’s shoulder to increase the pressure! Flesher fights hard, and scoots away to keep Rule off his neck and shoulder. Obligingly, the former Emperor steps back again, knowing only that he increases the pressure each time he gets closer to Flesher!

 

Riley cocks an eyebrow and says, “It’s almost like Ejiro doesn’t realize…”

 

“Shut UP, Citizen Riley!” hisses the master of the Falling Star Bomb. “Flesher’s making a beeline for the ropes!”

 

Sure enough, Fasaki, facing away from the ropes, has no clue that every time he moves back to increase the torque on Flesher’s arm, he unwittingly helps Flesher get closer to the ropes! He doesn’t catch on until Mark Hebner calls for a break and begins the count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

Grudgingly, Ejiro breaks the hold and steps toward the center. As Flesher releases the ropes, clearly favoring his shoulder, Ejiro drops in and nails him with a series of stiff kicks to the shoulder! The crowd boos, but the kicks are perfectly legal! Fasaki continues his assault, grabbing Flesher by the shoulder and pulling him to the corner. He drapes Flesher’s shoulder over the top rope and tags Hearford in. The Judge enters the ring as the legal man, holding Flesher against the corner. Fasaki slides out to the apron, grabs Flesher’s hand and jumps off to the concrete! The crowd winces in unison as Flesher’s shoulder seems almost dislocated! Flesher pulls it back, in obvious pain.

 

Hearford, meanwhile, wants to make sure that Flesher’s pain continues for as long as possible. He looks at the welts rising up on Flesher’s chest, the red marks and bruises, and realizes that he isn’t doing as much damage as he could be. He grabs Flesher’s singlet straps in each hand and yanks them to the side, pulling them down off his shoulders and tearing the chestpiece! With Flesher’s last line of defense uncovered, Hearford rears back and unloads a series of extremely stiff chops in quick succession!

 

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

 

At the end of the assault, the crowd is booing ferociously, and Flesher is holding his chest in pain! Hearford looks out, facetiously golf-clapping for himself just as Flesher is known to do! This prompts a bad reaction from the crowd, which responds with a flurry of empty beer cups! Hearford dodges most of them and bats one away, smirking as he throws Flesher to the ground and kicks him once more in the shoulder.

 

“And look at the cockiness of Citizen Hearford!” says Cyclone Comet angrily. “All he’s doing is trying to cause damage, not even progressing toward a fall!”

 

“And once again you show your ignorance. Christ, Comet, don’t you remember the hold that Flesher and Hearford fought over for weeks before Genesis? Hearford’s gonna slap a stretch plum on him and Hold him Without Bail!”

 

The Judge grabs Flesher by the tender left arm and yanks him away from the corner. He sits Flesher up, and for the first time it becomes clear to the viewers that Flesher is actually bleeding from the chest! Hearford slams a boot into Flesher’s shoulder from behind and grabs the arm, extending it to start the application of the Held Without Bail stretch plum! Flesher struggles, turning his head to keep ‘Judge Mental’ from locking on the reverse facelock, and scoots toward the ropes! He reaches out, grasping the middle rope with his extended left arm! Hearford tries to lock the hold on for the five seconds he can, but Flesher keeps him from executing the submission, and the official pushes the Judge away!

 

“Flesher manages to delay the inevitable,” says Bobby Riley, “but I think we all know that it is, in fact, unavoidable.”

 

Flesher starts to pull himself up, sneaking a quick glance over one shoulder. He releases the ropes, but then quickly ducks back down when he sees Hearford coming at him just as he expected! He pulls the top rope down, and Hearford slips down over the ropes and spills to the floor! Flesher stands up, grinning, and the crowd applauds him!

 

“What a maneuver!” shouts Cyclone Comet. “Flesher demonstrates the superior ring awareness and knowledge of his opponent’s moves that make him the World Champion! He’s simply superior!”

 

“You know what they call people who claim they’re superior, Comet?”

 

“The World Champion?”

 

“BIGOTS! TOM FLESHER IS BIGOTED! WORSE THAN HITLER!”

 

“Oh, stop. What do you think this is, the internet?”

 

Flesher looks down at Hearford and knows he has to make his move NOW. He sprints to the opposite ropes, and just as the Judge’s head peeks up over the ring apron, Flesher hits the mat and shoots at him with a baseball slide dropkick! Hearford staggers backwards, and Flesher grabs the middle rope. Pausing as Hearford regains his balance, Flesher shakes his left shoulder out, but grabs the rope once again to give him balance. Hearford stands up, and Flesher swings on the middle rope, sending his two Doc Marten boots out to catch Hearford in the face again! The fans applaud as Flesher swings back into the ring, and, like a pendulum, catches Hearford in the face with another dropkick! He releases the cable, getting to his feet a few steps back from the ropes. Hearford pops up once more, unavoidably. Flesher dives in, baseball sliding once again! This time, however, he slides through Hearford, locking his head between his ankles! Flesher, laying on the mat with his legs extended over the apron, performs a quick log roll, sending Hearford tumbling head over heels to the concrete! The crowd applauds loudly as Flesher slides out of the ring, then rolls his opponent back in.

 

“Mark Stevens would be proud of that baseball slide by the Superior Citizen,” says Comet. “Now, can he capitalize?”

 

Flesher rolls onto Hearford, covering him for

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

The Judge kicks out, and Flesher nods as if he expected it. He grabs the stunned Hearford and whips him into his corner, where Wildchild moves out of the way quickly to avoid impact. Flesher runs in, popping his foot up and nailing Hearford with a Yakuza kick that draws applause from the crowd!

 

“The Superior Citizen and his partner seem to have turned the tables on the opposition,” says Comet. “Now they’ll isolate the Judge and hopefully be able to capitalize.”

 

Hearford reels from the kick, and Flesher tags Wildchild in. The Bahaman Bomber slides in under the ropes and springs to his feet, nailing Hearford in the chest with a dropkick! He rolls backwards, then drives off his crouching stance to spear the Judge in the stomach! The fans applaud as Wildchild gets up to tag Flesher in once again!

 

“Quick tags,” says Comet. “These two are working nearly as well as Johnny and Wildchild do!”

 

“I wouldn’t say that. After all, Flesher’s been getting the crap kicked out of him, and he’s clamoring to come back in.”

 

Flesher starts in with a kick to Hearford’s stomach, doubling him over. Flesher grabs him in a front facelock, looking for the suplex across the top rope that he used earlier against Craven.

 

“Here, you see the problem,” says Riley. “Flesher and Wildchild don’t work together, and so they’re making up their match plan as they go along. Flesher was hitting Yakuza kicks, and then Wildchild comes in and goes for the gut. Tom has to adjust everything to make those moves count, and he just can’t... especially not with a bad shoulder.”

 

Flesher starts the lift for the suplex, but Hearford blocks it and shoves Flesher away. Flesher moves toward him, throwing a palm blow, but Hearford slips it off! He snakes an arm under Flesher’s shoulder, locking in an inverted half nelson and palming his face! The crowd groans sadly as Hearford locks Flesher up and hits the half nelson STO!

 

“CLOSING ARGUMENTS OUT OF NOWHERE!” shouts Riley. “YES! YES! YES! THIS IS IT FOR FLESHER!”

 

Hearford covers Flesher, looking smugly at the official. Mark Hebner drops down for

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!! HEBNER WAVES IT OFF! Flesher gets a shoulder up just a second before, and he stays alive for a while longer! The fans burst into cheers as he sits up, even though he’s stunned. Hearford gets up and positions himself behind Flesher. Not wanting to give him any chance to recover, he assaults Flesher’s spine with a series of kicks. Ejiro reaches over to signal for a tag, but Hearford shakes his head.

 

“He knows if they let the pressure up for even a second,” says Comet, “the Superior Citizen can take this one away from them.”

 

“Oh, he’s not THAT good.”

 

With Flesher’s spine going out on him, Hearford administers one last savage beating to Flesher’s shoulder in the form or a pair of stiff kicks. From there, he pulls Flesher to the center to ensure there will be no rope break.

 

“This is it,” says Riley! “Flesher’s going to go out to the Held Without Bail stretch plum! Who had ‘embarrassed by Hearford’ in the office elimination pool?”

 

“I had ‘disqualified for embarrassing Craven.’”

 

Hearford pulls Flesher’s left arm out and bars it, then reaches down and starts in on a reverse facelock. Flesher leans his head against his left shoulder, trapping the Judge’s arm between his shoulder and his head! From there, Flesher quickly bends his left arm, fighting the pain to control Hearford’s shoulder further. He spins around, shooting his right arm through Hearford’s legs and locks up a fireman’s carry! The crowd bursts into cheers as Flesher quickly gets to his feet, fighting through the pain of having ‘Judge Mental’s’ weight on his sore shoulder, and finally falls to the side! Hearford goes head first into the mat with a Death Valley Driver, and Flesher quickly cradles him up!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!

 

 

“JUDGE MENTAL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!”

 

“That’s all she wrote for Justice,” shouts Cyclone Comet. “Now let’s see some JUSTICE~!”

 

“You don’t make any damn sense, you know that?”

 

Flesher looks up as the lone member of Team Heel enters the ring. Hearford rolls away, but Flesher isn’t in good shape.

 

“Ejiro’s fresh,” says Bobby Riley. “Flesher’s stale as old bread right now, and Ejiro knows how to capitalize on that.”

 

Flesher, from his knees, looks up at Ejiro. Fasaki doesn’t bother making any overtures. He simply jumps up, dropkicking Flesher in his vulnerable shoulder. Flesher collapses to the mat in pain, and Fasaki jumps on him for the cover.

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- NO!!!!!!!!!

 

 

“Flesher kicks out,” says Comet. “You’ve got to believe he’s going on heart now!”

 

Fasaki lifts him to his feet and picks Flesher up as if for a powerslam. He holds the 213-pound Flesher over one shoulder and, almost effortlessly, cocks Flesher’s left arm behind his back in a hammerlock! As the fans cringe, Fasaki throws him forward onto his shoulder with a hammerlock bodyslam! Flesher cries out in pain, his shoulder seemingly crushed! Fasaki drops a knee onto Flesher’s shoulder and keeps his weight on the still-bent arm as Flesher tries to bridge out. Mark Hebner drops down and counts

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

“Once again, Tom Flesher gets a shoulder up at the last second, and Ejiro Fasaki couldn’t be more angry!” says Bobby Riley. “How long can this go on?”

 

“As long as the World Champion wants it to!” says Comet. “He can outlast anyone in the ring.”

 

He releases Flesher, who rolls to his stomach to protect his shoulder before making a beeline to the corner. Ejiro grabs Flesher and, with a sinister smile, pulls him to the center. He grabs the tender, injured shoulder and underhooks it… then the other side, too. With the double underhook in place, Fasaki yanks on Flesher’s injured joint, lifting him into the air and stalling with him upside down!

 

“Dear Zeus!” shouts Comet, “and Holy Moses!”

 

“Haha, here she comes!” says Riley.

 

Ejiro stalls for a few more seconds, and then sits out, slamming Flesher headfirst into the mat with the Ejirocation! The crowd goes absolutely silent. Ejiro slides Flesher through onto his shoulders and holds him, a smarmy grin directed at Wildchild.

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

DING DING DING!

 

“TOM FLESHER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!”

 

Once again, the crowd makes no noise.

 

“THE KING IS DEAD!” shouts Bobby Riley. “LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR!”

 

“My God,” exclaims Comet, as Ejiro kicks Flesher over towards the edge of the ring, “it’s down to two men, now; Ejiro and the Wildchild! One of those two is going to come away with the victory!”

 

“You might as well chalk up the victory for Ejiro right now,” adds Riley. “Not only is Ejiro going to win, but he’s just shown the world that he’s superior to the Superior One!!!!!!!!”

 

Wildchild slides surreptitiously underneath the bottom rope. Across the ring, an unaware Fasaki uses the ropes for leverage as he pushes Flesher out of the ring with his feet, and down to the arena floor. Rule leans over the top rope taunting the World Champion as the Bahama Bomber uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet.

 

“Don’t talk about this match as if it were over,” admonishes Comet. “Wildchild’s still in there, and he’s proven that he can beat just about anybody!”

 

“Yeah,” laughs Riley, “anyone except Ejiro Fasaki! Ejiro’s had this kid’s number ever since he first started wrestling for this company! There’s no way that Rule’s going to let Wildchild ruin this night for him!”

 

Fasaki continues to give Tom the business as Wildchild sneaks up behind him…

 

“Ejiro,” shouts Riley suddenly, “turn around!”

 

… And wraps his arms around Ejiro’s inner thigh, pulling him backwards into a schoolboy pin!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Ejiro kicks out forcefully at two, pushing Wildchild away from him. Furious at what was very nearly an embarrassing defeat, Fasaki rushes headlong at Wildchild, but the Caribbean Cruiser sidesteps him as he runs into the ropes, and leaps high into the air as he rebounds, wrapping his legs around Rule’s head and arching backwards, taking the tag team champion over with a scintillating rana!

 

“Beautiful hurricanrana by the Wildchild,” says Comet. “And he’s got the legs hooked! This could do it!” Wildchild reaches back to hook Ejiro’s flailing legs and leans forward to try and elicit a pinfall:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEEEE— NO!

 

 

Wildchild immediately gets to his feet as Ejiro kicks out and picks him up off the canvas. He tilts Fasaki’s chin to eye level and draws his arm back before thrusting it forward suddenly into Ejiro’s face, with the speed and frequency of a machine gun!

 

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

 

Wildchild forces Rule back against the ropes with a relentless battery of right hands. In a desperate surge, Ejiro swings forward wildly with his right hand, but the Bahama Bomber easily ducks underneath the manic swing and grabs him by the waist as he loses his balance and spins around.

 

“Swing and a miss,” exclaims Comet, as Wildchild lifts Ejiro off the canvas, “and Wildchild makes him pay for it!”

 

 

WHAM!

 

Wildchild lifts Ejiro parallel to the mat, only to lean forward as he extends his right leg, compressing Fasaki’s spine with a devastating Atomic Drop! The sheer impact of the maneuver causes Rule to hop forward and tumble over the top rope! The crowd goes crazy as Ejiro falls to the floor and Wildchild stands alone in the ring.

 

“Now’s your time, kid,” shouts Comet. “Now’s your chance! Go grab that brass ring!”

 

With twenty-one thousand screaming Aussies encouraging him Wildchild races towards the corner as Ejiro makes it to his feet outside the ring and leaps onto the top rope, springing off without hesitation and twisting his body in mid-air as he sails OVER the top rope to the outside of the ring!

 

 

SPLASH!

 

… And finally extending his body as he descends to earth like a meteor, crashing into the chest of the unprepared Ejiro!

 

“What an OUTSTANDING maneuver,” gushes Comet. “Wildchild displaying a degree of agility that would cause Daredevil himself to turn green with envy, as he scores on a corkscrew moonsault to the outside!”

 

Bobby cringes in disgust. “Must you relate EVERYTHING to a comic book? And what about poor Ejiro? He could have been hurt by that move! That’s exactly why that stinkin’ chest protector needs to be outlawed! Wildchild could have endangered Ejiro’s livelihood with his recklessness!”

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

The referee begins his count as Wildchild assumes a mounted position over Fasaki’s face and begins to beset him once more with a salvo of piston-like right hands!

 

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

Wildchild pulls Ejiro to his feet, but the wily ring veteran reaches up and rakes his fingers across Wildchild’s eyes. Seeking to capitalize on his opportunity, Fasaki grabs Wildchild by the back of the head and leads him over towards ringpost, where he draws his arm back to drive Wildchild’s face into the ringpost…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… But, at the last second, the Tropical Tumbler reverses, grabbing Rule behind the head with both hands and jamming his face into the solid steel ringpost!

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

CLANG!

 

Before Ejiro even has time to recover, the Human Hurricane grabs him by the back of the head and forces him down face-first into the steel steps!

 

EIGHT!

 

“Get in the ring,” shouts a frantic Comet.

 

NINE!

 

Wildchild shoves Ejiro underneath the bottom rope and immediately leaps onto the ring apron near the corner to break the count. The Bahama Bomber vaults over the top rope and onto the middle turnbuckle in the corner, where he springs off without hesitation, flipping backwards as he crashes into Fasaki’s chest with a moonsault!

 

SPLASH!

 

Wildchild hooks the leg as the ref dives into position to assess the pin:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEE— HELL NO!

 

 

“Two and a half,” shouts Comet. “My goodness, was that close!”

 

Wildchild gets to his feet and pulls Ejiro up as well, grabbing him by the wrist and whipping him across the ring into the opposite corner, where he smashes back-first into the turnbuckles!

 

“Ejiro goes into the corner on a hard whip by the Wildchild,” says Comet. “And now Wildchild head into the corner with a full head of steam…”

 

 

SPLASH!

 

 

… And leaps high into the air as he approaches the corner, nearly caving Ejiro’s chest cavity in with a running vertical body splash that hits with the speed of a freight train!

 

“Wildchild should be disqualified,” Riley growls angrily. “He just hit Ejiro with an illegal object!”

 

Comet glances askew at Bobby. “And, dare I ask, what are you babbling about now, Citizen Riley?”

 

“What do you think,” barks Riley. “Wildchild just hit Ejiro with a loaded weapon! He should be disqualified, and maybe even fined and suspended!”

 

As Fasaki staggers out of the corner, Wildchild darts back towards the ropes, bouncing off to build up momentum and leaping into the air, flipping forward as he flies over Ejiro’s back and snaring his head as he starts to descend…

 

 

WHAM!

 

… Driving Fasaki’s head into the canvas with his patented Whiplash! The Bahama Bomber rolls Ejiro onto his back and falls on top of him for the cover:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE—

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Wildchild’s assault on Ejiro has been nothing short of relentless,” notes Comet, “and he still can’t keep Fasaki’s shoulders down!”

 

“What did I tell you,” replies Riley. “Wildchild can’t beat Ejiro! He can hit him with every move he knows, and it’s not going to be good enough!”

 

Starting to get frustrated, Wildchild picks Ejiro up off the canvas and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him towards the corner, but the Tag Team Champion spins around sharply on his heel and reverses, sending Wildchild into the corner instead. The Bahama Bomber crashes into turnbuckles, but his chest protector absorbs the brunt of the impact as he bounces out of the corner. Ejiro races towards the ropes as Wildchild staggers out of the corner and raises his arm to deliver a clothesline, which the Human Hurricane ducks easily. But Rule quickly recovers behind Wildchild, spinning around on his heel and grabbing Wildchild underneath his leg with his left arm while wrapping his right arm around the Caribbean’s waist, lifting him up into the air…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And driving him headfirst into the mat with a heart-stopping backdrop suplex!

 

 

“BAAAAACKDROP DUUUUUURIIIIIIVAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” Bobby leaps out of his seat, dancing around excitedly. “Wildchild’s gotta be out after that backdrop!”

 

“That’s possible,” admits Comet, “but Ejiro doesn’t appear to be in a position to take advantage of it. In fact, Ejiro must still be feeling the effects of the beatings he’s taken up to this point in the match, because you have to believe that if he had any presence of mind, he would have tried to hook the legs on the way down and put Wildchild away with that patented Reverse Fisherman’s!”

 

“Be that as it may,” argues Riley, “the momentum in this match has officially swung in favor of Ejiro, and believe you me, it’s going to stay that way!”

 

As both men remain motionless on the canvas, the referee begins to deliver a ten-count:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

“Whoever is the first one to make a move here will definitely have the advantage in this match,” notes Comet.

 

“That’s going to be Ejiro,” replies Riley, “most definitely. He’s already proven that he can take it as well as he can dish it out. Wildchild has a much lower tolerance for pain. Hell, if he had any guts, he’d take that chest protector off and fight like a man!”

 

SIX!

 

SEVEN!

 

At the count of seven, Ejiro crawls over towards Wildchild and slumps over his motionless body. The referee dives into position to count the pin:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE— NO!

 

“Two count,” cries Comet, as he lets out a sigh of relief. “Wildchild’s still in this match!”

 

Ejiro pulls Wildchild to his feet and leads him over to the corner where he slams him face-first into the top turnbuckle!

 

BANG!

 

Fasaki then turns him around in the corner, using the ropes for balance as he extends his leg high off the canvas and underneath Wildchild’s chin. The referee barks at Ejiro to release his illegal choke, and begins to deliver his five-count:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

FI—

 

Ejiro waits all the way until the referee starts to say ‘five’ before releasing his choke. The referee admonishes him, warning against risking disqualification like that, but the Tag Team Champion ignores him.

 

“Ejiro’s playing with fire here,” observes Comet. “He doesn’t want to push his luck in this match; he’ll find himself disqualified before he realizes what happened!”

 

“Hey,” retorts Riley, “he’s got a five-count to break the hold, which he did. And, if you ask me, we need to do something about this biased refereeing!”

 

“Biased,” asks a perplexed Comet. “What in Odin’s Beard are you talking about?”

 

“I’m talking about the fact that this referee admonishes Ejiro for choking Wildchild in the corner,” growls Riley, “when he CLEARLY breaks before the five-count, and yet he remains silent about Wildchild wrestling with that abomination on! This isn’t hardcore match; why is he allowed to use a weapon in the ring? Is a little consistency too much to ask?”

 

Feeling confident that he has the match under control, Fasaki grabs Wildchild by the wrists and whips him across the ring into the other corner…

 

 

SLAM!

 

 

Wildchild slams into the turnbuckles, but bounces out virtually unscathed. He runs towards Ejiro, who has lowered his head in expectation of Wildchild staggering out of the corner, and leaps into the air, snaring Fasaki around the waist as he sails over the top of him, and pulling him over in a Sunset Flip! The referee dives into position to count the shoulders:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THR—

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

“Boy, was that close,” shouts Comet. “Wildchild almost caught Ejiro napping with that Sunset Flip!”

 

A stunned and suitably angry Ejiro beats Wildchild to his feet and cocks his arm back, letting out a loud wail as he thrusts his right arm forward…

 

 

 

BAM!

 

 

… Blasting the Tropical Tumbler with his patented Screaming Elbow and knocking him flat on his back!

 

“Screaming Elbow,” crows Riley. “That’ll take the spring out of his step!”

 

Seeking to press his advantage, Ejiro lowers his right kneepad down to his shin and takes a short hop into the air…

 

BAM!

 

… Jamming his knee into Wildchild’s face with a knee drop, and smearing what’s left of Wildchild’s facepaint across his knee. Rule reaches across his opponent’s body to hook the near leg as he goes for the pinfall:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

[Guest Suicide King]

THREE—

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

“Dammit,” mutters Riley. “This kid is showing more resilience than I thought he had!”

 

Ejiro pulls Wildchild to his feet and bends him over at the waist, hammering him relentlessly with elbow smashes to the back of the neck:

 

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

 

“I have to ask, Robert,” says Comet, “I thought Ejiro had Wildchild dead to rights after that knee drop, and he’s been working the head and neck of Wildchild for the last couple of minutes. It makes me wonder why he didn’t try to go for the Ejirocation?”

 

“I can only guess that fatigue is preventing him from concentrating on his game plan,” replies Riley. “Ejiro’s taken a great deal of punishment in this match; after taking a beating like he has tonight, even Ejiro starts to get tired! At this stage he’s probably just thinking about doing whatever it takes to survive this match!”

 

Ejiro grabs Wildchild by the wrist and whips him towards the ropes. He drops down to the canvas as the Bahama Bomber bounces off the ropes, but the fatigued Wildchild appears to trip over Ejiro’s waist, and falls to the mat, howling wildly as he clutches his knee!

 

“Hah,” chortles a jubilant Riley. “There’s the graceful ex-circus acrobat! Can’t even jump over Ejiro without tripping over him!”

 

“That’s enough, Robert,” chastises Comet. “I think Citizen Wildchild may be hurt; I think he may have blown his knee out!”

 

“Good,” snorts Riley. “Serves him right! That’s called karma for wearing that damnable chest protector down here tonight!”

 

The referee walks over to Wildchild to ask him if he can continue, and Ejiro breaks into a sneer as he glances at his arch-nemesis, moaning in what must be excruciating pain. He walks over towards the edge of the ring, pointing backwards at Wildchild as the crowd boos him lustily.

 

“Yeah, way to go, champ,” Comet says sarcastically. “You got him to trip over you. Big deal!”

 

“You’re damn right it’s a big deal,” replies Riley confidently. “That knee injury was the end of all of Wildchild’s hopes and dreams!”

 

Suddenly, as Ejiro continues to sneer at the crowd, Wildchild just altogether stops clutching his knee and rolls to his feet. More than twenty thousand fans begin cheering themselves hoarse as the Bahama Bomber sneaks up behind the unsuspecting Fasaki.

 

“Possum,” shouts Comet. “He was playing possum!”

 

“Ejiro,” screams Riley, “for the love of God, turn around!”

 

But before Ejiro realizes what’s going on behind him, Wildchild locks his hands around Fasaki’s waist and falls backwards, taking him over into a rollup for a pin! The crowd chants in time with the referee’s count:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE—

 

 

“No,” exclaims Riley. “He didn’t get him! Wildchild’s sneak attack didn’t work! Ejiro’s still in this thing!”

 

Both men get to their feet, and Wildchild races towards the ropes, seeking to bounce off with one of his many high-speed attacks…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But Rule swings his leg abruptly up off the mat, wheeling it around as the Tropical Tumbler rebounds and blasting him in the face with a momentum-killing spinning heel kick! Wildchild flips through the air and lands flat on his back as Ejiro races towards the edge of the ring without hesitation, leaping onto the middle rope and springing backwards into the ring, extending his body as he crashes into Wildchild with a Lionsault…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… But the textile durability of Wildchild’s chest protector once again pulls his fat out of the fryer, as the Lionsault ends up hurting Ejiro just as much, if not more, than his intended victim! Ejiro gasps loudly, sucking in deep gusts of air as he crawls over towards Wildchild to attempt a cover:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREEEEE—

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

“That’s it,” Bobby roars in disgust. “This is out of control! This is the fourth time in the last few minutes that thing has had an affect on the outcome of this match, including two different occasions where it was the difference in preventing Ejiro from getting the pinfall!”

 

“Will you let it go,” replies Comet. “He was given permission by the commissioner to wear that to the ring; end of story!”

 

“Bullshit,” barks Riley. “That abomination is giving him a competitive edge; the referee should order him to remove it IMMEDIATELY!”

 

Rule seems to be on the same page as Riley about the chest protector, but is apparently unwilling to wait on the referee to take action, for as soon as he catches his breath, he storms over to where Wildchild remains laying on the canvas and steps over him, assuming a mounted position as he paws at the chest protector, ripping the clasps open.

 

“There you go, Ejiro,” says Riley. “Take matters into your own hands! It’s obvious that that incompetent referee isn’t going to do anything about it!”

 

Despite the referee’s warnings, Rule succeeds in unfastening Wildchild’s chest protector, and the proceeds to start pulling it off him.

 

“Hell yeah,” crows Riley. “Now we’ll see how tough he really is, when he doesn’t get to wear a bulletproof vest!”

 

“Will you stop,” moans Comet. “It wasn’t nearly as bad as all that!”

 

“You trying to tell me I didn’t see what I saw,” asks Riley. “That thing was affecting the outcome of this match, and I’ll bet I’m not the only one who’s happy that Wildchild’s going to have to finish the match without it!”

 

Wildchild, having been stripped down to his classic aquamarine tights, rolls over instinctively onto his stomach. Ejiro glares down at the chest protector in his hands with a satisfied grin on his face, but then decides that he’s not done with it. Getting to his feet, he raises the chest protector above his head with both hands as the referee jumps in front of him to prevent him from using it as a weapon against Wildchild.

 

“Now look at THIS double standard,” growls Riley, as the referee grabs onto the other end of the chest protector and attempts to pull it away from Ejiro, “the referee is going to stop Ejiro from using it as a weapon, but it was okay for Wildchild to use it; what happened to turnabout is fair play?”

 

Comet shakes his head. “You can’t be serious; surely you can’t be suggesting that you don’t understand the difference!”

 

“The only difference that I understand,” replies Riley, “is that Wildchild is getting preferential treatment by the referee in this match! I think after the show, I’m going to file an appeal with the board of directors to get this ref impeached!”

 

The referee continues to play tug-of-war with Ejiro until he finally succeeds in ripping the chest protector away from him. Rule follows behind him, barking about double standards as he walks over to the edge of the ring and leans over the top rope to hand the chest protector out of the ring to the timekeeper.

 

“It’s finally out of there,” says Comet. “Maybe now you and Ejiro will BOTH shut up about it!”

 

As the referee continues to give orders to the timekeeper, Ejiro turns back towards the ring…

 

 

WHACK!

 

 

… Just as Wildchild springs off the canvas with a desperate surge of adrenaline and thrusts his foot into the air, jamming it into the unsuspecting Fasaki’s chin, and knocking him out cold!

 

“Beautiful Sidekick,” shouts Comet. “What a desperation move by the Wildchild! Ejiro was totally unprepared to receive that kick!”

 

His energy temporarily spent, Wildchild slumps back to the mat as well, and the referee turns around to find both men lying motionless on the canvas. Oblivious to what led to that situation, the referee nevertheless begins to administer his ten-count:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

“That superkick took a lot out of the Wildchild,” remarks Comet. “If he can’t find any more energy from somewhere, that might not be enough!”

 

“It won’t be enough,” replies Riley. “That was all he had in the tank; he’s got nothing left!”

 

 

SEVEN!

 

EIGHT!

 

Fasaki manages to recover first and crawls over towards Wildchild. He falls on top of him as the referee drops down to count the pinfall:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE— NO!

 

 

“He kicked out,” shouts Comet, “Wildchild kicked out!”

 

Ejiro wearily gets to his feet and pulls Wildchild up as well. He grabs the Human Hurricane by the wrist and whips him towards the ropes, charging towards him to deliver a running lariat as he bounces back, but the Bahama Bomber ducks easily underneath…

 

 

BANG!

 

 

… And leaps into the air as he rebounds off the other set of ropes, launching himself like a cruise missile and blasting Ejiro in the face with a Flying Forearm!

 

“Flying Forearm,” shrieks Comet. “How did he possibly find the strength to hit that? He must have invoked the name of the great and mighty Shazam!”

 

Bobby rolls his eyes. “Unless ‘Shazam’ is geek-speak for ‘he got lucky,’ you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”

 

Wildchild rolls over onto Ejiro’s chest and hooks the near leg as the referee counts the shoulders:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THR—

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

“It’s anybody’s match right about now,” says Comet. “The next man to hit a big move on his opponent will probably come away with the victory!”

 

“How astute of you,” Bobby says sarcastically. “You sure went out on a limb with THAT analysis, didn’t you?”

 

Wildchild and Ejiro both get to their feet, and Fasaki swings his right arm at Wildchild’s head…

 

BAM!

 

… But the Bahama Bomber blocks with his left and catches him with a quick right jab! Fasaki tries it again, and gets more of the same!

 

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

 

OOF!

 

 

Wildchild tries to punch Ejiro back towards the ropes, but Fasaki manages to raise a knee into Wildchild’s chest to stop his momentum.

 

“Yeah,” crows Riley. “Not so tough without your armor, huh?”

 

With Wildchild doubled over, Ejiro raises his hands above his head and brings them down towards his chest in a grabbing motion, mocking Wildchild’s sign for the Wild Ride. As the fans begin to boo him, he flips them off in disgust.

 

“We could be about to see the Wild Ride Deluxe,” says Riley excitedly. “Ejiro took Wildchild’s own move and made it better! How fitting would it be for him to win with this?”

 

Ejiro wraps his arms around Wildchild’s waist and lifts him up off the canvas, holding him overhead in a crucifix powerbomb position, but before he can get set, the Human Hurricane begins squirming frantically until can get free of Fasaki’s grip and slides down, hooking his legs underneath Fasaki’s arms as he falls forward to pull him over into a modified Sunset Flip! But, before the referee can even get into position to count, Ejiro rolls through the pin attempt and onto his feet as Wildchild likewise rolls backwards on his shoulders to get to his feet. Wildchild and Ejiro charge towards each other, and the Bahama Bomber gains the advantage, grabbing Rule by the wrist and twisting it into an arm wringer, then suddenly spinning around towards Fasaki’s body and snaring him in a side headlock as he grapevines his near leg…

 

 

WHAM!

 

… And falls backwards, spiking the back of Ejiro’s head into the canvas with a Russian Leg Sweep!

 

“A beautiful series of counters by both men,” shouts Comet, “resulting in a Russian Leg Sweep by the Wildchild… OH MY GOD! He nipped up! By Zeus, Wildchild just nipped up!”

 

The crowd in the Super Dome erupts as Wildchild nips up to his feet, and they begin to cheer even louder as he reaches up and rips the shoulder straps down from his wrestling tights. Stepping out onto the ring apron as he waves into the ring, practically daring Ejiro to get up.

 

“This could be it,” exclaims Comet. “Wildchild could be about to fly!”

 

The Human Hurricane leaps onto the top rope just as Ejiro gets to his feet and launches himself into the ring, snaring Fasaki’s head as he swings around…

 

 

BANG!

 

 

… Only to plant it into the canvas with a jump swinging DDT!

 

 

“Presumed Guilty,” screams Comet as the crowd cheers itself hoarse. “Ejiro Fasaki has been Presumed Guilty!”

 

Wildchild rolls onto Ejiro’s motionless body and applies a lateral press, and the crowd chants along with the referee as he counts the pinfall:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

NO!

 

 

“No, no, no, no,” shouts Riley. “HELL NO! Ejiro ain’t goin’ out like that!”

 

Wildchild looks up at the referee with a stunned expression on his face. He holds up three fingers as if seeking affirmation, but the ref calmly holds up two back at him.

 

“Give it up, Wildchild,” Riley says haughtily. “It’s over! That’s the best you can do, and you STILL can’t put Ejiro away!”

 

Wildchild gets to his feet and pulls Ejiro up along with him. He grabs Rule by the wrist and whips him towards the ropes, lowering his head as he rebounds and lifting him into the air with a back body-drop, but Fasaki lands on his feet. As the Caribbean Cruiser spins back around, Rule doubles him over at the waist with a kick…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

“Stunner,” cheers Riley, as Ejiro’s desperation move appears to suck the energy right out of the building. “He got all of that! It’s gotta be over!”

 

The impact of the stunner knocks Wildchild all the way over to the ropes, as Fasaki lays motionless on the canvas trying to catch his breath. He rolls over onto his stomach and begins to slowly drag himself over towards Wildchild.

 

“It’s all over now,” Riley insists gleefully. “It’s only a matter of time; once Ejiro reaches Wildchild, this match is history!”

 

Rule finally manages to crawl across the ring and falls atop Wildchild, as the referee drops into position to count the pinfall:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

“No,” shouts Comet. “He got his foot on the ropes! Wildchild got his foot on the ropes!”

 

“What was the point of that,” snaps Riley. “He’s only delaying the inevitable!”

 

Fasaki rolls Wildchild away from the ropes towards the center of the ring and reapplies a lateral press:

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

“This’ll definitely be it,” says Riley.

 

 

TWO!

 

 

“Kick out, Wildchild,” pleads Comet. “You can do it!”

 

 

 

THREE—

 

 

WILDCHILD GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

 

“It’s a miracle,” cries Comet. “Wildchild managed to find enough strength to kick out after that stunner! He must have taken one of Underdog’s super energy pills!”

 

Ejiro gets to his feet and looks down at Wildchild with disgust. “That’s it,” he mutters to himself, before picking the Tropical Tumbler up off the canvas and dragging him over towards the corner. Snaring him in a front facelock, Fasaki lifts Wildchild up off the mat and positions him on the top turnbuckle, before climbing onto the second turnbuckle and reapplying the front facelock.

 

“It looks like Ejiro is setting up for a superplex here,” says Comet, as Ejiro ascends further to the top turnbuckle.

 

“Not if I know Fasaki, he isn’t,” replies Riley. “He’s going to go for the Boilermaker! He’s going to put an exclamation point on this match, and send a message to Flesher at the same time!”

 

Ejiro steadies himself on the top turnbuckle and pulls Wildchild into position. He tugs at Wildchild’s leg and prepares to lift him over for the dreaded Avalanche Brainbuster…

 

“Here it comes,” gurgles Riley.

 

… But Wildchild desperately grapevines his leg around Ejiro’s preventing the lift from happening.

 

“He blocked it,” gasps Comet. “Wildchild still has a chance!”

 

Ejiro tries again to lift Wildchild up for the Boilermaker, but can’t fight past the block attempt. Then Wildchild begins to fight back, hammering him repeatedly in the ribs until Fasaki’s precarious balance begins to be threatened. Wildchild, who is clearly more comfortable on that perch, steadies himself before delivering a kneelift into Fasaki’s midsection, which causes him to double over sharply and nearly fall off!

 

“Wildchild put a knee right into Ejiro’s gut,” shouts Comet, “and Fasaki’s reeling!”

 

The Bahama Bomber pulls Ejiro underneath him into a standing headscissors, and then leaps fearlessly off the top turnbuckle, wrapping his arms around Ejiro’s waist as he floats over him…

 

 

WHAAAAM!!!

 

… And absolutely PLANTING him into the canvas with a top rope Sunset Flip Powerbomb! The crowd EXPLODES as Ejiro bounces off the mat!

 

“Bahama Bomb,” shrieks Comet. “By Zeus! He hit Ejiro with the Bahama Bomb!”

 

“This can’t be it,” groans Riley. “It just CAN’T be!”

 

Wildchild scrambles to his feet, using the ropes for support, and suddenly finds himself inspired as he glances towards the corner.

 

“He couldn’t possibly be thinking of going to the top rope,” says Comet. “Could he?”

 

“He’d better not,” shouts Riley. “This may be the one and only chance he has to beat Ejiro after that Bahama Bomb. If he goes to the top and misses, he’ll have no one to blame but himself.”

 

But Wildchild wouldn’t be Wildchild if he didn’t take daring risks. The crowd comes their feet in nervous anticipation, cheering the Bahama Bomber on. Wildchild leaps onto the top rope and looks out to the fans for encouragement, which they heartily provide him, and then leaps fearlessly from his perch! He extends his arms out to his sides in a ‘T’ position and twists through the air as he plummets towards the ring like a shooting star…

 

“Come on, Ejiro,” pleads Riley. “Roll out of the way! Get your knees up! Do something!”

 

Wildchild continues to fall, twisting all the way down. The crowd waits with baited breath as they half expect Ejiro to move…

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUT HE DOESN’T!

 

 

 

 

SPLASH!

 

 

 

Twenty thousand strong in the Super Dome erupt as the Human Hurricane smashes into Ejiro’s chest with his signature Twisting Body Splash from the top rope!

 

 

“Andros Drop,” shouts Comet. “He hit it! I can’t believe he actually hit it!”

 

“I won’t believe it,” bellows Riley. “Come on, Ejiro! Don’t let him beat you like this!”

 

Wildchild hooks the leg and the referee dives into position once more to count the shoulders. The excitement in the crowd builds to a crescendo as they count along with the referee:

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

The cheering is deafening in the Super Dome, drowning out the sounds of “Let’s Get Dirty.” Johnny, Tom and Strangler make their way from the back as the referee raises Wildchild’s arm in victory.

 

“What a main event,” shouts Comet. “What a finish! Wildchild overcame his long-time nemesis to leave Ashes 2 Ashes with a victory! Let’s go to Funyon for the official word!”

 

Funyon rises from his ringside seat, raising the microphone to his lips. “Here is your winner, and SOLE SURVIVOR… THE WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!!!” Johnny, Flesher and Strangler join Wildchild in the ring, taking turns slapping him on the back and raising his arm in the sky, as they stand victorious.

 

“What a tremendous evening of SWF Action,” says Comet, as our heroes each ascend a corner of the ring, soaking in the adulation of the jubilant fans. “We hope that you fans watching at Ashes to Ashes at home enjoyed it as much as everyone here in Sydney! For Bobby Riley, I am CYCLOOOONE COMET! We’ll see you in a few days on Storm! Good night, everyone!”

 

===

SWF Ashes 2 Ashes 2003. November 16, 2003.

© White Apple Productions. All rights reserved.

The Smarks Wrestling Federation: “Raising Workrate by Typing Faster.”

[Guest Suicide King]

SWF Memoirs: The Return of A Hero

“Hero” Chad Kroeger (feat. Josey Scott)

 

 

 

I am so high, I can hear heaven

 

A lone figure remains motionless in a dark gym, with a few windows, in the center of which, stands a ring. The light, dim but ever-present casts shadows over the small area, almost giving the effect of a panning light.

 

I am so high, I can hear heaven

 

His back to the camera, the figure looks on, taking in the site of the ring, now in a new position, leaning on the ropes from the apron.

 

Whoa, but heaven...

No, heaven don't hear me

 

The man makes his way up a ladder, with each gasp for air, harder to make than the last. The crowd comes alive once again, the last remnants of a dying ‘Holy Shit!’ chant fall off, as he takes another slow step up the device.

 

And they say that a hero could save us

I'm not gonna stand here and wait

 

The figure wipes his feet on the apron and slowly steps into the ring, in between the top and middle rope. A deliberate move executed with precision and grace.

 

I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles

Watch as we all fly away

 

Now, in a change, he is now running up a set of stairs, somewhere new. Green seats with cup holders on either side of the steps, as if he were running up an aisle.

 

Someone told me

Love would all save us

 

A quick shot of the persons face, masked by the hood of a sweatshirt and shadows of the gym.

 

But, how can that be

Look what love gave us

 

Their legs resembling a car wreck, as does the man’s agonized expression, the two lies facing each other by the ropes nearest the ramp way. His leg burns like fire, indescribable pain shooting through his knee, causing him to cry out suddenly every few seconds. Deciding this is taking too long, his opponent reaches back, grabbing onto the middle rope to increase the leverage and multiply the pain over and over, his whole body getting in on the act to increase the pure torture.

 

…

 

His face a mask of pain… his opponent stands over him almost distracted by a voice from the audience… a pleading voice echoes over all the others in the arena. He looks on, fighting for all he’s worth -- battling against the pain and fate.

 

A world full of killing

And blood spilling, that world never came

 

A head shot from the right shows his features, covered in his own blood, which flows from his forehead. Then a different view – this time from the other side, showing a cut under his eyebrow, which drips blood as well. Followed by multiple, rapid fire shots of the grapplers face being shown from the course of his career, at different levels of being busted open.

 

And they say that a hero could save us

I'm not gonna stand here and wait

 

The person is now in the ring alone, a brace covering his left knee as he lunges forward from his standing position into a tradition amateur stance. His knee flexed, hands up and foot back.

 

I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles

Watch as we all fly away

 

He is still running up the steps and it looks as though he has an endless amount to traverse -- waves and waves of steps, as he dashes up the incline.

 

AHHAHHHHAHHAHHHHAHAHHHAH…

 

And then as quickly as they cut to it, the man is back in the gym, taking another shoot, although nobody is in the ring. His technique is near flawless, as he slides across the ring.

 

Now that the world isn't ending

It's love that I'm sending to you

 

Two hands briefly touch, through the ropes of a ring. The stage is the grandest of them all and the match…

 

It isn't the love of a hero

And that's why I fear it won't do

 

Another quick shot of the persons face, masked this time by a pair of sun glasses and shadows of the gym.

 

And they say that a hero could save us

I'm not gonna stand here and wait

 

The figure continues his trek up the stairs. The hood of his sweatshirt billowing in the wind until it falls off, revealing his pierced ears and that his dreadlocks are now gone, in favor of a close cut hairstyle, as he reached the apex of this structure he’s been climbing.

 

I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles

Watch as we all fly away

 

The camera pans around him, ice blue shades on the bridge of nose, as he reaches the top of the stadium. A sign saying ‘Welcome to Lincoln Financial Field’ can be seen in the background, along with the Philadelphia.

 

And they're watching us

They're watching us

As we all fly away

 

Chioda brings the US Title belt over to the man and puts it in his left hand, as his right is cradling his rib cage! The crowd continues to yell, cheering him on, as he gets to his feet and shuffles over to the turnbuckle, climbing up one rung and then stopping as he can’t go any farther up!

 

 

Every Man Rises

 

 

Finishing the cuts from earlier, rung by rung he makes his way up the ladder, and he finally grabs the ICTV title, unstrapping it and raising the championship in the air, as he stands high atop the mountain top. Eddy Long signals for the bell.

 

 

The figure stands in the corner, arms braced atop the top ropes.

 

 

And they're watching us

They're watching us

As we all fly away

 

 

With him laid out on the mat, his opponent wastes no time, staggering slowly forward to the nearest turnbuckle and slowly climbing up it. Once up there, he turns around, and after steadying himself, leaps off. There is no delay today as his opponent flips the full 360-odd degrees, legs whipping around, ankles tucked under his thighs like he was praying as he smashes into him with tremendous force, nailing a Shooting Star Knee Drop into the mans ribs! The resulting blow lets out a thunderous thud!

 

Stevens: NO!!! GOD NO!!!

 

Riley: YES!!! THAT’S IT!!!

 

Upon impact, his opponent bounces off him, flipping over him and landing on the mat, but the opponent slowly flips himself over and crawls on top of the man, hooking the champ’s leg with quite possibly the last of his energy. The ref, watching the match closely, begins the count as the crowd starts to boo...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

 

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

Funyon: The winner of this contest by pinfall, AND YOUR NEW SWF US CHAMPION...

 

 

Every Man Falls

 

 

He reaches out for her hand, and she holds out hers, their fingers brushing together and she smiles, holding his left hand, before suddenly…

 

His right hand drops to the mat once, slapping it once…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twice…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

…

 

 

“The winner of the third fall via the Deprogrammer… and the… NEW! S W F Intercontinental Television Champion…

 

 

The figure now sits in the corner, arms braced atop the bottom ropes.

 

 

And they're watching us

They're watching us

As we all fly away

 

 

But Few Rise Again

 

 

A close up of the man’s face, shows everyone that it is indeed, Mak Francis.

 

 

 

 

 

 

SWF Storm

 

 

 

 

The Return of A Hero

 

 

 

 

The Return of the Franchise

[Guest Suicide King]

A rather good ppv all things considered. Things shall shortly be very very interesting to say the least I think. Read it!