Promo: killing the mockingbird

[Guest Muzz]

I'd just like to say, I hate writing for Thugg and Bo. I need a seperate dictionary.

 

I'm tired, I'm weary, but hell, I can't let a Jl'er take my spot in the SWF...

 

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I love you Jl'ers.

 

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It’s late night in an American city, but I forget which one. An evil looking night, which would imply that some evil deeds are afoot. Not tonight though…

 

“Drive up to the next window please!”

 

Sacred grimaces as he hears the voice of a teenage female, with a high pitched voice which just bursts with youthful dreams and ideals. Too bad they’re stuck here working at McDonalds. With an evil sigh, Sacred’s light green Volkswagen Beetle inches toward the next window. This is the last time Sacred let’s Jay Dawg pick a car out for him.

 

The cold night air is a welcoming feel for Sacred, as he stops in front of the small window, where the same girl leans over, a huge smile across her face. The cold night air makes for a welcoming sight for Sacred as he stares at the girl for a few seconds, noticing something pleasant, and then grabs the bag she’s holding out. Sacred nods, putting the bag on the seat next to him. As the girl works out what the evil one owes, Sacred, in a truly evil moment, speeds out of the drive through, without paying a red cent.

 

So, so juvenile, put so, so evil. Sacred needed something to cheer him up, after his loss at Battleground the second. It’s been on Sacred’s mind ever since Edwin MacPhisto pinned him in the middle of the ring, and then hearing the fans cheer.

 

“I hate it when they cheer!”

 

Damnit, don’t talk to yourself.

 

Sacred’s not insane, as so many people would have you believed. Really, he’s not, he’s just… misunderstood. Trying to steal someone else’s theme music, I mean, that’s a perfectly normal goal in life. Getting married, having kids, buying a house, screw that, stealing music is the way to go.

 

“And I failed!”

 

Now, now, they’ll be other chances…

 

That’s something Sacred’s had a lot of over the past two years, chances. He had the chance to come back after months away, and surprise everyone. But now, that shock is wearing off, and he fears he’ll be lost in the shuffle again.

 

“Bah! I always worry!”

 

Stop shouting in the car…

 

And now, with Perfect Bo back, he feels distant from Da Pound. Jay Dawg is doing his thing, and well, and Bo and Thugg, well, they’re Thug’s born and breed, and catching up on old times, and chicks.

 

“Maybe I should just give this gig up…”

 

No, you will not! If you leave now, will you be remembered? No!

 

The car sticks out like a sore thumb against the backdrop of the starry sky. It speeds down the road, but comes to a screeching halt in front of is hotel. The car door opens, and then slams shut suddenly. Sacred looks around, as people on the street eye his black threads, and black eye paint. He growls at an old couple, and they quickly move away. “Freak…” they both remark, as Andrew steps into the foyer. With the brown paper bag with the big ‘M’ in his hand, he walks up to the elevator and presses ‘up’.

 

“Time to rest up for Smarkdown I guess.”

 

Dude, there are other people around. Stop talking to yourself.

 

The elevator door opens, and Sacred steps in. A lonely lift ride ensures, giving Sacred more time to think.

 

“This match may be the most important of my evil career…”

 

It is! Win this, and you’ll be another step closer to being remembered forever! And one step closer to some funky entrance music.

 

The elevator reaches the 23rd floor, as Sacred steps out and proceeds down the corridor. His room is number 58, but he hears some familiar voices inside room 57, which he just has to investigate. Sacred hears laughing and giggling as he knocks on the door.

 

“Yo!” Sacred hear from inside. Sacred turns the knob and pokes his head into the room. It’s an all too familiar sight for him. Thugg, with a beer in one hand, and a hot chick in another, and Bo, back to his old ways, another chick sits n his lap.

 

“Yo Sacred!” Thugg bellows. “We be just taking some time off, ya know? Oh shit yeah, yo remember my nigger Bo right?”

 

Sacred answers, but not too enthusiastically, “Yeah, I remember…”

 

“What up evil man!” Bo greets, as the girl in his lap gets a bit frisky and starts to explore… “Oh right there baby. Yo, you want in on some of dis’ action playa?”

 

“I think I’ll be fine, I have some evil plans to sort out… You know how it is.” Sacred replies. Thugg and Bo exchange confusing glances.

 

“Well, yo choice man. I reckon we be here all night, right honey.” Thugg grins as his hand starts to wonder, and the girl giggles with delight.

 

Suddenly, Dawg brushes past Sacred and charges into the fray, a shirtload of beer in both hands. Dawg drops them on the ground and turns to Sacred. “Sacred! Good to see ya, you gonna join us?”

 

“Nah…” Bo tells Jay, “He’s got some evil shit to work out, you know. Us mothers be here all night Sacred, work yo shit out and join us, aight?"

 

Sacred turns around and mumbles, “I don’t want any evil diseases…” Dawg, Bo, and Thugg just shrug and continue doing there thing. Dawg’s thing consists of breaking the tops of two bottles of brew and chugging it down in record time. Sacred hears some cheers as he unlocks his door and enters.

 

“A dark secluded room will do me…”

 

Some of those chicks we’re looking fine though…

 

Sacred drops to the floor and crosses his legs. Weird music rings softly in the background, while the evil one closes his eyes and breathes in and out. He starts humming an evil, diabolical tune to help himself relax…

 

“Here’s a story, about a lovely lady…”

 

Cut that out!

 

Thoughts race through his mind, colliding into each other on the superhighway that is Sacred’s mind. No one knows what goes on in there, but something evil and twisted no doubt. Suddenly, as Sacred thinks about his coming match, an idea opens his eyes. Edwin is something special, one of the most talented people he has ever faced, what is his weakness… He’s loves the fans, and they love him, maybe, just maybe, he has to create some doubt in their minds…

 

“Muahahahaha, its brilliant, pure evil genius…”

 

Well, what can I say…?

 

Sacred grins an evil grin, and laughs an evil laugh, as he concocts his plan. Sacred gets to his feet, energy flowing freely through his body, a fire in his eyes.

 

You have your plan, now go get drunk of your ass.

 

“Don’t have to tell me twice… oh it’s good to be evil…”

 

Maybe there’s hope for you yet… ‘Tis time to kill a mockingbird, thy name is Edwin MacPhisto.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Ooo.  Bravo, Sacred.  Great stuff there...though I'm not sure what all that at the end means.  Hopefully I somehow, uh, reach whatever that goal is in my match...

 

Oh, and nice work with the ebonics!  Heck, I couldn't even tell that you were white!

[Guest Perfect_Bo]

Dude, if you hate writing for me, than I'll write for me, and you just tell me what to write...  I know how to hook it up...

 

Dude, this might mess up things in the Promo that I wrote...  I really hope it doesnt, but next time, ask me...  Because, it might mess up my shit and my promo...  I think everybody knew I was writing a promo...

 

It's all good though, I aint mad, I would never get mad at the evilist man alive with his evil plan and evil smile...  You da man...

 

Just tell me next time before writing...

 

It was a good Promo, I liked it very much...

 

B "Mark for Sacred and his evil plan, since I'm afraid of him" O

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Good stuff dude... but where's Molly!?

 

And If Annie replies to this by down her pants... I'll be strangely aroused!

[Guest Suicide King]

YAY!!!

 

Sacred isn't leaving!!!

 

YAY!!!!

[Guest BA_Baracus]

PROMO (Stubby P. McWeed);

"We all know Sacred can't quit.

 

He has to prove all Australians don't suck and out-do Axis.

 

Mothernature says, yeah..."

[Guest crusen86]

Pfft.

 

Classic promo.