TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!

[Guest Suicide King]

TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2003!!!

AN SWF PAY-PER-VIEW EXTRAVAGANZA!

Tuesday December 16th!

Live from the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio!

Theme song: "I Won't Be Home For Christmas" by Blink 182

Arena décor: Christmas stuff. No, really.

 

 

 

 

FEATURING…

 

Annie "Ichiban" Onita versus John "The Sinner" Duran versus Stryke versus Johnny Dangerous

 

Time to give out a little of that holiday spirit! Gifts will be given, and presents will be... um... presented! Everyone will get something but only one person will walk away the winner of the dreaded Stocking Stuffers match!

 

Four people will open this Christmas show with the possibility of some serious bling bling. And as if the material gains in this opening match weren't enough, the winner of this elimination Yuletide festival will win a shot at any belt they want... short of the world title. Not bad for one day's work!

Description: normal rules apply, EXCEPT: in each corner of the ring there is a pole. On each pole is a stocking. In each stocking is an item. Each person may retrieve ONE stocking at the beginning of the match and they get the item as their "Christmas present." They and only they may utilize their present as they see fit for the duration of the match. If anyone else tries to use their present, they are disqualified and eliminated. Some presents will be useful in the match, whereas some will be completely useless. In the stockings are the following: a brand new diamond studded Rolex wristwatch, the keys to a brand new midnight blue 2004 PT Cruiser (located backstage), solid silver knuckles for hitting people with, and a bunch of coal. For those who think that the coal sucks, consider what hitting someone with a sock full of pennies does. Match is elimination, pinfalls and submissions count only in the ring. The winner will receive a shot at the championship of their choice, outside of the World Title.

 

 

 

"Judge Mental" William Hearford versus ???

 

Question Mark Man comes home for the holidays, but the Judge has decided that he is gonna earn some time and a half!

 

If there's anything Hearford hates, it's no-talent hacks coming in and stealing his thunder. There isn't a month that goes by that some schmuck who used to be able to wrestle stealing the limelight from those who truly deserve it, i.e. Judge Mental. Well, that ain't gonna happen this time son. Mental has taken the initiative and the moment he heard some decrepit retiree was coming back, he took it upon himself to end the veteran's run before it begins. Commissioner Stevens just chuckled and handed over the contract...

Description: Standard rules. ???, please PM your opponent your stats. If there is any confusion, PM me.

 

 

 

Xstasy versus Wildchild versus Michael Craven versus Crowe versus Linchpin

 

At stake, a shot at the world title. The stip, more ridiculous than I care to mention. The result, what may be an unintentional classic. Fear the Away in a Manger Match.

 

Wildchild only recently lost his much-valued HCG belt, but the Commissioner feels he is on his way to bigger and better things. Xstasy is a match for the Wildchild in every possible way, and possibly even more hungry for the title. Craven is determined that this time the stars are right for him, and he won't let anyone stand in his way. Linchpin is the wild card here, as the new US Champ looks to rise even further in the rankings! And finally, add in the completely recuperated Antichrist Superstar, eager to start off his new year with a bang, and some blood...

Description: Immediately to the right of the SmarkTron, a large nativity scene has been erected. The farm animals, shepherds, angels, Joseph, Mary, and baby Jesus are all there, and can theoretically even be used as weapons. In front of the baby's cradle is a large pit, 10 ft deep. To eliminate someone you must swaddle them in one of the many blankets provided around the ring and nativity scene, and chuck them into the pit. Once you are in the pit you have been eliminated and may no longer participate in the match. The last person left will get a shot at the World title, but not the very next one shot. That is reserved for someone. No DQ, no countout.

 

 

 

Va'aiga versus Terrence "Janus" Bailey

 

The only thing under this Christmas tree is pain. More pain than you can possible imagine. And to the man who can survive the Bledisoe Cup Streetfight, the HCG Title!

 

Two monsters perhaps more at home on the Island of Misfit Toys... the Anti-Heel Machine and the Maori Badass. I daresay that this will prove to be the first of an exceptionally brutal series of matches, and very well may be the one that will be talked about more than any other... which monster will be slain, and which will walk away with one helluva Christmas present?

Description: Streetfight. No DQ, no countout, falls count anywhere. The match itself will begin outside on the streets.

 

 

 

"The Franchise" Mak Francis versus the Hville Thugg

 

Tis the season to be sadistic. And what is more sadistic than making a man admit that he is less of a man?

 

The rubber match in a feud that perhaps no one saw coming, but in retrospect was inevitable. Each man thinks he is the best, and will brook no dissent regarding that fact. Having split their first two matches, honor and unimaginable ego demand that they sink to new levels of brutality to find out who is the better man. Merry Christmas.

Description: I quit match. No DQ, no countout. The only way to win is to make your opponent audibly say the words "I quit" into a microphone so that the entire arena can hear it.

 

 

 

Dace Night versus Charlie "Grappler" Matthews

 

It is apparently Christmas in Texas. I suppose that makes this Deathmatch ok.

 

What do you give the man who has everything? Well, Dace plans to give Charlie the thrashing of a lifetime. Matthews on the other hands believes it is better to receive than to give, and plans to receive Dace's ICTV title! These two men have more than a score to settle, and count on the winner being the man who isn't taken to the hospital for a transfusion!

Description: Texas Deathmatch. No dq, no countout. The only way to win is to pin your opponent for 3 seconds, and for that opponent to then be unable to answer a standing 10 count. Pinfalls only count in the ring. The winner is the ICTV champion.

 

 

 

The Boston Strangler versus Erek Taylor

 

Two men descend into hell this Christmas, and neither will return. But one will be right, and that will be enough.

 

A long odyssey comes to a close here, as the careers of Strangler and Taylor will be over when the final bell rings. But as the philosophers say, the destination is nothing as only the journey matters. And these men have decided that their very personal long-standing issues can only be settled by a quick jaunt through hell. Two legends end, and one question will finally be answered. The question? Can a man rise above his past, or will it forever mark him?

Description: Hell in a Cell. I really shouldn't have to say anything else.

 

 

 

AND THE MAIN EVENT…

 

"THE SUPERIOR ONE" TOM FLESHER

VERSUS

EJIRO FASAKI

 

IN A TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH FOR THE SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

 

Does Rule have Flesher's number? Perhaps. But Tom has faced a slew of challengers and if he has anything to say about it, the only number Ejiro will need is 9-1-1.

 

Earlier this month the unthinkable happened. The seemingly eternally dominant champion was beaten in the middle of the ring, cleanly, by Ejiro Fasaki. Since then, it's clear that Flesher has had Ejiro on the brain. The only way out of this fog is through, and thus Tom Flesher braves the challenge of Ejiro Fasaki one more time, but this time he has EVERYTHING to lose. And Ejiro has everything to gain. And if there is a more insidious, clever heel than Fasaki still in active competition I would like to know who. The evening of brutality ends with an honest to god wrestling match, and it may spell the end of an era. A new year begins soon, and it very well be the Year of Fasaki.

Description: Standard rules, DQ and countouts apply. The first person to win two falls by any means is the heavyweight champion.

[Guest Suicide King]

Blink 182’s “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas” plays in the background as a camera zooms in on a panoramic view of the ring, above the heads of the crowd in the Nationwide Arena, four poles proudly displaying red stockings with white trim, each pole sporting a different stocking. The crowd watches on as they prepare for this match, the two commentators for tonight voicing over the view of the ring.

 

“And there you see,” Bobby Riley begins alongside Cyclone Comet, “the four stockings that each of our combatants in the next match will receive.”

 

“Santa Claus has been watching all four of these wrestlers,” Comet adds, “and those who were nice might get a PT Cruiser, and those who are naughty are going to get a sack full of coal!”

 

“Of course, Comet, the ultimate Christmas gift awaits the winner of this match: A shot at any title in the SWF!”

 

“Aside from the World Title.”

 

“Well, yes, of course.”

 

“That being said, let’s go to the ring where Funyon is ready to bring the four contestants down!”

 

We switch to a tight shot of Funyon’s mug, as he lifts the microphone up to his lips and begins to speak.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon begins in his booming voice, “this next match is a STOCKING STUFFERS match, with elimination rules!”

 

“Johnny Dangerous!” The sexy voice fades after speaking the name of the first entrant, the crowd cheering as “After The Flesh” by My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult strikes up, clouds of smoke billowing up and flooding the entranceway, strobe lights flashing and cutting through the thick fog as Johnny Dangerous steps through it all to the delight of the fans, but female fans especially, his high-tech sunglasses reflecting the flashing lights as Dangerous begins to move down to the ring, slapping the outstretched hands of fans as he approaches the ring.

 

“Introducing first,” Funyon starts, “weighing in at two hundred and seventeen pounds…from Las Vegas, Nevada, he is the Secret Agent JOHNNY DANGEROUSSSSSSSSSSS!”

 

Johnny walks around the ring a bit, looking much pumped as he continues to high-five the fans, before coming to a stop and turning to his left, interested in what he sees: A very attractive woman sitting in the front row, clamoring for the attention of the Barracuda! Dangerous smiles and gives the girl a smooch on the cheek before sliding into the ring. The girl has to be held up by her friends, so close to fainting as Dangerous enters the ring.

 

“That Johnny,” Comet says, shaking his head, “always the suave one.”

 

“The ladies can’t resist this man, Comet, but you wouldn’t think that he was a ladies’ man because of his attitude in the ring.”

 

“Indeed, Bobbo, Johnny takes his work very seriously. He’s a very ferocious man.”

 

“If it’s a fight he wants, it’s a fight he’ll get.”

 

“After The Flesh” fades into the buzzing of the crowd as Dangerous gets himself prepared for the match, standing by a corner with the stocking hanging ominously over him. Johnny takes a peek up above him, acknowledging it before returning his focus to the match ahead.

 

“Becoming” by Pantera strikes up suddenly, blue and white spotlights flashing about the entranceway, the fans already booing as the blue and silver pyros explode towards the roof of the arena!

 

Stryke steps through the sparks and the smoke from the firework display, posturing for the crowd as they assault him with jeers. Stryke moves down to the ring quickly, his eyes focused on the ring.

 

“The second contestant,” Funyon booms as Stryke nears the ring, “weighing in at two hundred and thirty-eight pounds, from Sydney, Australia…this is STRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYKE!”

 

“This is a big opportunity for Stryke tonight,” Riley begins, excited, “as I’m sure he’s been itching for a title shot, any title shot at all for quite some time!”

 

“Unfortunately for Stryke,” Comet starts in a rebuttal, “there are three other people in that ring that are looking for the same thing, Bobbo!”

 

Stryke slides into the ring as his name is called, hopping to his feet and going to the unoccupied far corner, throwing his right arm into the sky and only getting the crowd angrier as Stryke drops off the turnbuckles and remains in the corner, looking over to his left at Dangerous, who meets the stare and then turns back to the SmarkTron, Stryke following suit, the music once again fading under the scattered boos of the crowd.

 

“NO! NO! NOTORIOUS!”

 

The boos do not cease as “Synthetic” by Spineshank blares out of the speakers in the arena, the jeers increasing in volume as Duran steps through the curtain with a big grin on his face, looking out over the crowd as he is surrounded by the many Christmas decorations, simply standing there and then raising his arms as if he’s already won the match, inciting the crowd to hiss at him further. Duran finally lowers his arms and continues down to the ring

 

“Look at that John Duran, Bobbo. What a jackass.”

 

“That jackass is winning tonight’s match, Comet, you can count on that!”

 

“Well, I’m glad that he at least put his arms down, I could smell his body odor from here!”

 

Riley frowns. “Now come on, Comet, that was just mean!”

 

“Now coming down to the ring,” Funyon tries his best to talk over the booing of the fans, “weighing in at two hundred and sixty-eight pounds, from Champaign, Illinois…he is the NOTORIOUS ONE…JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

 

Duran approaches the ring, stepping up onto the apron and then moving through the ropes and entering the ring, taking a long look at both Stryke and Johnny Dangerous. Duran looks at Stryke and they both nod their heads at each other. Suddenly, they both charge at Dangerous!

 

“What the,” Comet begins to ask in disbelief.

 

Duran nails Dangerous with a clothesline in the corner, catching the Secret Agent off guard as Stryke joins the party, beginning to slam in right hands along with right hands from Duran as they beat down Johnny Dangerous in the corner!

 

Riley laughs heartily as he watches this all go down. “This is great! A two-on-one beatdown already in this match, and we haven’t even started!”

 

“It’s a smart move, Bobbo, there’s no doubt about that, the sooner that a person is eliminated, the better chance the remaining have to win! But that’s just not fair!”

 

The ref is unsure of what to do, and finally just calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

As soon as the final ringing of the bell occurs, “Risky Gamble” by Megumi Hayashibara comes on, and the crowd explodes with cheers as Ann Onita swiftly moves through the curtain, charging down to the ring to get in the match. Ann’s twin sister Allison is behind Ann, coming down to the ring with a slow jog as Annie slides into the ring, coming up behind John Duran and turning him around before giving him a brutal kick to his side!

 

“Ooooh!” The crowd reacts as Duran falls to one knee in pain, holding his side but trying to return to his feet anyway. As he does, Annie unleashes another kick, switching feet and hitting Duran in his other side, the pain surrounding him as Stryke looks back at the former martial artist in Onita neutralizing Duran with a couple of kicks! Stryke returns his focus to The Barracuda, continuing his pummeling of Dangerous with hard right hands.

 

Duran rises to his feet again, his sides thumping with pain as Annie reaches up to the much taller Duran, bringing his head down and then leaping up into the air, smashing her knee into Duran’s face! The Notorious One whips back from the force of the knee, falling back first onto the mat and looking dazed.

 

“My god,” Riley remarks, astonished, “Ann is the smallest person in this match, and yet she just took down the biggest one! Amazing!”

 

Ann is on a roll as she turns Stryke around, interrupting his beating of Dangerous and leaping up into the air again, stretching her legs out and connecting her boots against the mouth of Stryke.

 

“Drop Kiss,” Comet screams, scaring the bejesus out of his commentary partner.

 

“Look at Ann Onita go, now would be a good time to go for that stocking!”

 

With all of her opponents in various states, Annie turns to the stocking hanging above where Stryke had stood during the introductions, going over and climbing the turnbuckles, unhooking the stocking from the pole and jumping down to the mat, reaching in and finding…

 

A Rolex.

 

Ann stares at it in disbelief for a moment, and Allison doesn’t look too pleased. Riley loves it, however.

 

“What luck for Ms. Onita,” Riley chuckles, “she’s got herself a new Rolex for Christmas!”

 

“I envy her,” Comet retorts.

 

The crowd is silenced at the discovery of what was stuffed in Ann’s stocking, as she merely discards the watch for the time being, throwing it to the mat. Stryke begins to return to his feet after the Drop Kiss, and Annie is right there waiting for Stryke as she kicks Stryke, who is on all fours, taking him back down to the mat as the girls in the crowd cheer the ass-kicking Onita on! Dangerous pulls himself back up to his feet using the ropes in the corner, and Ann notices this out of the corner of her eye, prepared for anything Dangerous might have up his sleeve. However, Johnny nearly nods to Annie in appreciation for helping him out.

 

“Oh come on,” Riley groans, “It’s every wrestler for themselves! Give her the MI Slam, Johnny!”

 

“It’s good to see that there are some honorable men left in this federation like myself, Bobbo.”

 

Dangerous goes over to Duran as Ann remains focused on striking Stryke, kicking him again as Stryke once again attempts to get to his feet. Ichiban then leans down, bringing Stryke to his feet and immediately putting him in a front facelock. Annie takes the near arm of Stryke and drapes it over her head, holding that position for a second and then instantly whipping back, hitting a snap suplex on Stryke and taking him down to the mat.

 

“Textbook snap suplex from Onita,” Riley points out, “and Stryke isn’t faring too well early in the match!”

 

Onita waits for Stryke to get back to his feet, as Johnny Dangerous goes to the stocking across from the one that contained the very expensive Rolex watch, climbing up each turnbuckle and taking his time, getting to the top turnbuckle and reaching up, grabbing the stocking and immediately noticing the weight of it. Dangerous looks worried, and his fears are confirmed as he reaches in and pulls out…

 

…a lump of coal.

 

Riley cackles and appears ready to fall out of his seat with laughter, but Comet manages to contain him. “It looks like the Secret Agent has been naughty this year!” Riley cracks, before splitting up with laughter again.

 

“Truly an injustice to the fine citizen Johnny, he did not deserve that coal!”

 

Johnny tosses the lump of coal in his hand to the outside in disgust, putting the bag of coal down in the ring as well and going back to John Duran, who seems to have regained all of his wind, up on one knee now. The Barracuda brings Duran up the rest of the way, hitting Duran with a couple of blows with his right hand, and then throws him into the ropes. The Notorious One comes back on the rebound, and Dangerous turns his body sideways to Duran, hefting the two hundred and seventy pounder up onto his shoulders, and then flipping forward, impacting Duran back-first into the mat with a rolling Fireman’s carry. Dangerous rolls through the move and gets to his feet, turning back to the fallen body of Duran.

 

“Impressive showing of strength from the Secret Agent,” Riley begins, “as he still looks frustrated that his stocking turned out to be one big sack of coal.”

 

“And now Citizen Dangerous is going for the cover,” Comet announces.

 

The ref swings around to count the first pinfall of the match as Dangerous hooks the leg, pinning down Duran’s shoulders with the crowd cheering.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…KICKOUT!

 

Duran’s left shoulder shoots up off the mat, as the count is broken at barely two.

 

“Dangerous is starting to come back here,” Riley begins with a hint of doubt in his voice, “but he needs to get some more offense in if he thinks he is going to take down Duran.”

 

Meanwhile, Stryke has returned to his feet, but the Hardcore Queen remains in his face, whipping Stryke into the corner. Stryke hits the turnbuckles with a thump, and Annie goes to the turnbuckles opposite Stryke, moving across the ring and flipping backwards once, twice, three times, barely avoiding the downed bodies of Dangerous and Duran as she jumps backwards towards Stryke, elbowing him in the face to a great response from the crowd, enjoying the flipping and flying of Onita.

 

“The acrobatics of Citizen Annie shining through here,” Comet comments, “and Stryke remains dominated by Ichiban!”

 

“How humiliating, being beaten down by a girl,” Riley says with a sigh. “It’s almost like kissing Ann’s sister.”

 

“And that’s a bad thing?”

 

Allison cheers her twin sister on from outside the ring, as Stryke falls to the mat from the handspring elbow. Meanwhile, Dangerous is back on the attack after the pinfall attempt on Duran. Dangerous brings Duran to his feet, nailing The Notorious One again with a right hand. And another right hand, making Duran stumble as he tries to regain his balance and get on his feet! A third right hand stumbles Duran even further, as Dangerous bends down and picks Duran up off the mat, his arm draped across Dangerous’ shoulder as Dangerous locks his arms around Duran, the Secret Agent pivoting to his right and driving Duran into the mat with a ferocious Uranage Suplex!

 

“That’s the kind of offense that Citizen Johnny needs to get here against Duran,” Comet notes, “because Duran is the biggest person in this match, and he’s simply going to take more to go down!"

 

After the Uranage, Johnny goes over to the nearest corner to Duran, going through the ropes and climbing up the turnbuckles to the very top, the fans rising to their feet as Onita brings Stryke back to his feet, pushing Stryke into the ropes and sending him across the ring as Dangerous stands perched on the top turnbuckle, getting to his feet as Stryke bounces into the ropes where Dangerous is standing, as Dangerous loses his footing…

 

“OHHHHHH!”

 

And the men in the crowd feel the Secret Agent’s pain as he straddles the top turnbuckle with his naughty bits, his mouth forming a tight “O” as he looks towards the roof as the Nationwide Arena. Stryke’s momentum doesn’t stop, however, and Annie is distracted by Dangerous falling on the top turnbuckle, allowing Stryke to clothesline Ichiban to the mat.

 

“What a series of events there, Bobbo,” Comet remarks, “first Citizen Johnny gets his chance of having kids significantly reduced, and then Citizen Stryke takes down Citizen Annie out of nowhere!”

 

“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Riley responds happily.

 

The groans of the crowd are quickly turned into boos as Duran rolls over onto his stomach, attempting to push himself up and noticing that Dangerous is precariously hanging on the top rope. Stryke seems pleased with the events that had transpired, turning the tables on Onita as Allison looks on helplessly. Duran gets up to his feet, walking over to Johnny, who is now hunched over on the turnbuckle, and Duran delivers a right hand to the Barracuda, and then another. Duran grabs Johnny by the back of his head and brings him forward. Johnny moves forward but remains hung up on the top rope, allowing Duran to reach his boot up and smash it into the back of Johnny’s head a couple of times before the Secret Agent finally falls to the mat.

 

“Two stockings remain, Comet, what do you think could be inside?”

 

“It’s hard to say, but if they are as useless of weapons as coal and a wristwatch, I don’t think I want to see, Bobbo.”

 

As Johnny tries to come back down from the soprano vocal range, Duran goes over to one of the last remaining stocking on the side of the ring facing the SmarkTron, passing by Stryke and Onita, Stryke preparing to bring Onita back to her feet to begin an offensive attack. Duran scales the turnbuckles and reaches up, grabbing the stocking and coming back down, reaching in…

 

…and finding a pair of keys.

 

“Oh, now what is this,” Comet wonders out loud, as an image appears on the SmarkTron:

 

A brand new shiny midnight blue 2004 PT Cruiser.

 

“Duran’s got a new car,” Riley exclaims with glee, as Duran can only look in awe at the car backstage, but also looking slightly confused, wondering how he is going to use that as a weapon.

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Bobbo, but unless Citizen Duran is planning on some vehicular homicide tonight, he might just have a new car and not much of a weapon.”

 

“As far as the vehicular homicide, I wouldn’t put it past Duran. He’s the Notorious One!”

 

Duran tosses the keys in the corner where he retrieved the stocking, not worrying about the car backstage for now and returning his attention to the Barracuda, who is still on the corner, trying to recover his ball bearings. Stryke, meanwhile, has brought Ichiban to her feet. Stryke places the Hardcore Queen in a front facelock and then twists his body, moving Onita around with him as both competitors look up into the lights, before Stryke drops down to the mat, wrenching on Ann’s neck with a neckbreaker.

 

“Citizen Annie’s poor neck,” Comet whines, “that can’t be good for her.”

 

“I think Johnny Dangerous has a bigger problem than his crotch being invaded by turnbuckle, as John Duran is now standing over him and is ready to strike!”

 

The Notorious One looms over the Secret Agent, who is now trying to get back to his feet, having shaken off the effects of recent events, but Duran is right there, as he drops a knee into Dangerous’ back, toying with the Barracuda as the crowd voices its disapproval. After that brief showing of humiliation towards Johnny, Duran bends down and brings Johnny to his feet slowly, taking his sweet time as Stryke leaves to the outside of the ring, waiting for Annie to get up from his neckbreaker. Dangerous is slowly raised into a vertical base by Duran, but he suddenly surprises Duran, chopping Duran in the neck and catching him off guard to the fans’ delight!

 

“Judo chop,” Comet declares, “and that chop looked downright deadly, Bobbo!”

 

“Yes, I’m sure it had the strength of ten men. Flea men, perhaps.”

 

“Bobbo, why are you always so negative?”

 

The chop hits a sensitive point on Duran’s body as he falls to one knee from the surprise of the chop as well, Dangerous scrambling over to the corner where he left the stocking of coal and grabbing it. Johnny apparently has an idea in his head as he approaches the Notorious One again. On the other side of the ring, Annie rises to her feet, Stryke leaping up onto the top rope and leaping off towards Annie with his legs outstretched and connecting a springboard dropkick right on the chin of Ichiban. Allison looks on, worried as ever. Dangerous approaches Duran with the stocking full of coal in his hands, and as Duran reaches his feet, Dangerous holds on tight to the stocking and swings it at Duran’s face!

 

…And it connects! The coal hits its mark, and the crowd goes nuts as Duran hits the mat like a sack of human potatoes.

 

“Well, what do you know, Bobbo,” Comet says in astonishment, “Citizen Johnny found a use for that coal after all!”

 

“I can’t believe this! That coal was supposed to be worthless! For shame that Johnny Dangerous find a use for it!”

 

Dangerous seems proud that he’s managed to take down the big man in Duran, but as soon as he turns around…

 

*SMACK*

 

“OOOOOOOOOH!”

 

…he is met with a vicious superkick from Stryke! With Duran apparently knocked out from the coal and Annie still somewhat out of it on the mat, Stryke and Dangerous appear to be the last two competitors standing, at least for the time being.

 

“I’ve got an itching feeling that one of these two are about to be eliminated, Bobbo.”

 

“I honestly couldn’t pick a winner in a battle between these two men, they’re both very competent and it certainly shouldn’t be a disgrace if EITHER of these men is eliminated by the other!”

 

With Dangerous down on the mat, Stryke attempts a pinfall, hooking the leg of Dangerous as the ref swings around to count the pinfall, the crowd hoping this isn’t the end of the Secret Agent.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

The crowd cheers as Dangerous is able to get enough strength to get out of the pinfall attempt, getting a second chance to turn things around in this match for his favor. Stryke brings Dangerous to his feet, keeping advantage of the Secret Agent as he boots Dangerous in the stomach, doubling the Barracuda over and then draping his right leg over the back of Johnny’s head! Stryke leaps into the air to finish the Showstopper, but Dangerous stands upright, reversing the move as Duran stumbles to his feet, his head still ringing from the homerun shot by Dangerous with the stocking full of coal. Stryke is surprised by the sudden reversal and doesn’t see where Dangerous is, but Duran sees Johnny, bending down and charging.

 

WHAM

 

Duran’s shoulder connects with the abdomen of Dangerous, the wind sucked out of him as Duran continues to barrel towards the opposite corner.

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

Dangerous’ back is slammed hard into the turnbuckles as Duran rolls away from the spear, holding his head in pain.

 

“Whoa,” Comet proclaims, “Citizen Duran hits the spear, but he just drops to the mat hard again, and he’s holding his head! What’s going on here, Bobbo?”

 

“Unfortunately,” Bobby answers, “I think he’s still feeling the after-effects of that shot to the head with the coal, as any man would be. I mean, it’s COAL, for Chrissake!”

 

Nevertheless, Dangerous is dazed and out in space as he stumbles out of the corner. Stryke has found the Secret Agent by this time, and he’s sizing Johnny up as he connects with yet another boot to the midsection. Stryke sneaks up behind Johnny, Duran and Annie remaining on the ground trying to regain their senses around them as Stryke pulls an arm up between Johnny’s legs, the signal for a pumphandle.

 

“Oh no,” Comet groans, “this can’t be…”

 

Stryke hoists Dangerous up to shoulder-height, quickly dropping right back down and swiftly driving the skull of the Barracuda right into the mat with the…

 

“LOW END THEORY,” Riley screams, “Dangerous is finished!”

 

After the pumphandle piledriver is performed, Dangerous is out like a light, and Stryke hooks a leg, pinning down the shoulders once again, as Annie finally begins to get to her senses, not even noticing the pinfall attempt, and likely not caring as the referee swings around to count.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“And then there were three,” Riley declares.

 

“Johnny Dangerous had been eliminated,” Funyon booms out over the booing crowd in Columbus as Dangerous slowly rolls out to the ring, Stryke helping him along by stomping him away.

 

“What a total lack of disrespect for Citizen Dangerous, Bobbo,” Comet says with disgust, “he was at a disadvantage from the beginning, and in the end that coal didn’t help at all!”

 

“I’m still curious what is in that last stocking,” Riley inquires, “because whatever it is, it’s going to belong to Stryke!”

 

As if reading his mind, Stryke looks up at the final stocking hanging from the fourth pole, and moves towards it, As Stryke tries to climb towards the final stocking, Onita suddenly pops up from the ground, grabbing Stryke’s shoulders and throwing him back down to the mat as the ladies in the crowd cheer enthusiastically, falling behind the Hardcore Queen now that the hunky Secret Agent has left the match and gone to the backstage area! Stryke is still feeling his momentum and tries to get right back to his feet, but he is caught on one knee as Onita charges at him, launching off his knee and extending her left boot forward and nailing Stryke right in the face!

 

“SHINING BLACK,” Riley screams, “an amazing move from Ann Onita, even I have to admit that!”

 

The crowd and Allison cheer on Annie as she goes to bring Stryke to his feet, but Duran rises to his feet and attacks Annie from behind! The fans boo Duran as he wails away on Annie’s back with crushing blows, completely catching her off guard.

 

“It’s just not going to be enough, Bobbo,” Comet resigns with a sigh, “Citizen Stryke and Citizen Duran are practically on the same page, they don’t seem to be following the every man for himself tradition!”

 

“Well, to Duran’s credit, he was likely just attacking anything that moved, and Stryke wasn’t doing much moving at that time.”

 

Duran keeps lashing away at Annie…and then Onita fights back! Ichiban lands kick after kick to Duran, stopping him cold in his tracks as the crowd cheers her on, backing Duran all the way to the other side of the ring and softening him up with kicks to the ribs and to the legs of the Notorious One before taking a step back and leaping up in the air once again, stretching her legs out and connecting her boots with Duran’s mouth!

 

“Another Drop Kiss,” Comet decrees, “and that puts a stop to Duran’s rally!”

 

Duran runs out of ring to fall back on, as he tumbles over the top rope and to the floor, trying to land on his feet but tumbling back some more and ending up on his back, spent from trying to defend against the kicks of the Hardcore Queen and laying there on the outside as the crowd roots for Ann! Unfortunately, Onita doesn’t see Stryke coming up from behind and locking a sleeper on her! Stryke holds the sleeper and turns back towards the center of the ring, dropping down suddenly and slamming Annie head first into the mat with a brutal sleeper drop!

 

“Good lord,” Comet uses the lord’s name in vein, “I don’t know how much Annie can last in an environment like this! Everyone is out to get her!”

 

“Well, if she can’t stand the fire she better get out of the kitchen,” Riley yells smugly.

 

“There’s a fire in the kitchen?” Comet asks, dumbfounded.

 

After the sleeper drop, Stryke drapes his body over that of the Hardcore Queen’s, hooking a near leg as the referee once again falls to the mat to count the pinfall!

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO! KICKOUT!

 

Annie somehow manages to kickout before the count of three, the crowd grateful that she did and continuing to root her on as Stryke rises to his feet, not wasting any time with Onita and bringing her to her feet as well. Once both competitors are standing, Stryke grabs Annie’s arm and whips her towards the ropes, standing in the middle of the ring and looking poised to strike once again. As Annie rebounds off the ropes, she comes right back at Stryke…

 

…and leaps into the air with a FLYING CROSS BODY, taking Stryke down and pinning his shoulders to the mat as the ref comes around to count the pinfall once again!

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-NOOOOO! SO CLOSE!

 

Stryke manages to shake off the surprise of suddenly being pinned by Ichiban and kicks out JUST before the count of three, and Annie seems somewhat disappointed but Allison encourages Onita to continue on. Duran begins to get to his feet slowly, being heckled by the fans on the outside as he seems ready to get back into the thick of things. Annie goes over to the corner, picking up her new Christmas gift in the Rolex wristwatch. Annie surveys it for a moment and then slips it onto her right hand…but not all the way to the wrist! She leaves it on her knuckles, and a smile crawls across her face.

 

“What in the bloody hell is Citizen Annie doing?” Comet asks.

 

“I wish I knew what she was ever thinking, Comet.”

 

Annie stands waiting and ready for Stryke to come after her, Stryke himself slowly getting to his feet after breaking out of that close pinfall attempt. Stryke reaches his feet and turns around, and Annie steps up, spinning around in a one hundred and eighty degree turn and bringing her right hand around. The Rolex glistens through the air until it slams right between the eyes of the Aussie! Stryke hits the mat hard as pieces from the watch clatter to the floor from the force of the blow.

 

“She used them as brass knuckles, Bobbo! She just clocked Stryke with the clock!”

 

“Those aren’t brass, though, that Rolex is diamond-studded! Diamond knux! Unbelievable!”

 

Stryke turns over on his stomach, holding his face in pain as Duran slides back into the ring, getting to his feet as Annie drops the wristwatch from her hand, going over to Duran and kicking away at the Notorious One, planting her boots into Duran! Stryke knows that he might be in danger of losing this match if he doesn’t get up soon and attempts to heft his body off the mat, trying to zone out the pain and getting to one knee. He notices that Annie and Duran are fighting across the ring from the remaining stocking, and so, with his head throbbing, Stryke nears the stocking, the crowd booing as they notice Stryke reach up and pull the stocking down, landing on the mat with a thud as Annie turns around and notices Stryke, coming after him now! The fans cheer until Stryke pulls out his weapon, and the cameraman gets a quick glimpse of it as it reflects light under the Nationwide Arena glow.

 

…Brass knuckles.

 

Stryke quickly slides them onto his fingers and takes a wild swing.

 

AND CONNECTS.

 

Annie is stopped dead, slamming down to the mat with incredible force from the momentum of Stryke’s hand. The crowd is initially in shock from the force of the blow from Stryke, but it later turns to boos once they realize that Annie is actually somewhat moving, though having been clocked.

 

Riley laughs a maniacal, cruel laugh. “Look at that, Comet! Stryke just CLEANED her clock!”

 

Comet pauses for a moment before responding. “That’s just mean, Bobbo.”

 

Stryke is pleased with his work once again, and doesn’t notice until the last possible second that Duran is charging across the ring once again, looking for blood.

 

…Then Stryke dodges. Duran goes shoulder-first into the post, missing the spear attempt and paying for it dearly. The crowd is mixed when Stryke avoids the Notorious One’s attack, many still angered that Stryke could do THAT to a woman. Stryke makes Duran pay for trying to attack him, bringing Duran out of the corner and hitting a European uppercut on the Notorious One, but with the hand not sporting the brass knux!

 

“I wish I could explain why he didn’t just use the brass knuckles on Citizen Duran,” comet begins, “but I think he put enough force on that punch to Citizen Annie to break those knuckles in half!”

 

“My opinion is that Stryke knows he has the advantage, and he just wants to teach Duran a thing or two.”

 

“Well, Stryke could also use a pinfall over Annie to leave him alone with Duran, brass knuckles and all.”

 

But Stryke focuses on Duran, going to both knees and holding Duran’s head with the non-brass hand and using the other to pummel Duran! The brass knuckles keep impacting with Duran’s head as Duran seems to be out cold by the fifth shot from the knuckles, Stryke continuing to hit blow after blow on Duran. The ref finally holds Stryke back after about seven blows with the knuckles, but the damage has been done and then some. Stryke backs away, not wanting to cause any trouble with the ref, and keeps the brass knuckles on as he climbs to the top rope!

 

“Oh, what is Citizen Stryke going to do now?”

 

“Well, it looks like he’s going to the top rope, Comet!”

 

Sure enough, Stryke perches on the top rope, brass knuckles still tight around his right hand as he measures Duran up, and leaping off the top rope.

 

BOOM

 

The elbow drop connects with GUSTO~, as the crowd continues to boo Stryke, looking to go for yet another cover, as Annie stumbles to her feet, looking somewhat enraged…at least for a woman. Stryke goes to hook the leg but before the ref can even fall to the mat, Annie steps up to Stryke and gives him a HARD KICK to the side, the crowd exploding with cheers as Stryke rolls over in obvious pain, getting to his feet as well as he can, and Ichiban allows Stryke to do so, staring at him as he stands up full, towering over Annie because of Annie’s height, and Annie simply responds by slapping Stryke hard in the face, kicking him in the midsection and hitting a snap DDT! The crowd is practically jumping out of their seats as Annie gets up, calling for the end!

 

“Annie is trying to rally! Duran and Stryke have conspired against her, but she has fought back, and now this is what everyone is waiting for!”

 

Annie brings Stryke up to his feet again, picking him up as if setting up for a Tombstone, then lifting Stryke up by his tights, forming a 90 degree angle. Stryke’s arms flail and he attempts to reverse the move by throwing his weight forward, falling to the mat and making it 45 degrees, but Annie fights it off! Onita lifts Stryke up the rest of the way again, and then drops him HARD, face first into the mat! The crowd goes BONZO GONZO as Annie turns Stryke over, hooking the leg and resting on the shoulders with her athletic frame as the ref falls to the mat, watching the shoulders and counting away!

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEE! SHE DID IT!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“Stryke has been eliminated!” Funyon’s booming voice is simply drowned out by the cheers of

 

“ICH – I – BAN! ICH – I – BAN!

 

“And Citizen Stryke is somehow eliminated! Where did Citizen Ann pull that one from, Citizen Robert?”

 

“Likely from an orifice we are not to touch, Comet.”

 

Duran remains on the mat after being pummeled with the brass knuckles and receiving the top rope elbow drop from Stryke, and Ichiban sees the opportunity she’s been looking for, the crowd continuing to cheer as she goes for the pin on Duran!

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO! SHOULDER UP!

 

The crowd groans in disappointment as Duran somehow gets a shoulder up, likely still feeling the effects of the various punishments that have been brought upon him lately in this match, and Annie likely isn’t feeling too fresh herself after being walloped by Stryke. However, it’s just down to those two in the ring, and Annie is in control for the time being.

 

“You know, Comet, looking back on this match, I don’t think Duran has gotten anything as far as offense in! I hate to say it, but I think Ann has got this match won!”

 

“I don’t know, Citizen Robert, I’m thinking like you now, perhaps Citizen Duran’s lack of activity in the match have allowed him time to rest! Yes, he has taken a beating, but so has Citizen Ann, and let’s face it, in a one-on-one battle, it’d be no contest!”

 

Annie brings the much larger Notorious One to his feet, taking her time as she brings him up, not in any particular rush…and then Duran reaches up and rakes the eyes of Annie! The crowd boos Duran immediately as Annie holds her eyes in pain, and the referee scolds Duran for his actions, warning that the next time he pulls something like that, he’ll be disqualified. Duran shrugs it off, as usual, hitting Ichiban with a right hand and cornering her, bringing up his right knee and slamming it into Annie’s ribs, the fans booing as Duran does it again, the ref tries to separate the two. Duran does it one more time, letting Annie fall to the mat in pain from the knees as Duran backs away, going to his corner where the keys to the PT Cruiser are located and picking them up.

 

“Is Citizen Duran planning on just leaving in his brand new car?”

 

“No way, Comet: Look what he’s doing with the keys!”

 

Duran places the two keys on either side of his hand, sticking them up between his fingers as the semi-sharp ends of the keys poke out from his fingers, smiling as Annie slowly climbs to her feet. Suddenly and without warning, the Notorious One steps forwards and clobbers Annie with a right hand, slamming the ends of the keys into her head.

 

“Oh my god!” Riley screams, “That is just BRUTAL! He could’ve punctured her skull with that!”

 

The crowd is almost in shock as they watch Duran, who seems to have lost a little bit of his mind after being beaten down with those brass knuckles, as he picks up Onita and throws her towards the ropes, sending her bumbling out to the outside and to the floor, the crowd continuing to viciously boo Duran as he steps through the ropes, dropping to the floor on the outside of the ring. The referee pleads with Duran to keep the action in the ring, but since there are no countouts due to the PT Cruiser being backstage, Duran continues carrying Onita by her hair to the back, and the referee eventually just gives up and follows them back, telling Duran to watch the hair.

 

“Looks like Duran is going to get his new car,” Riley remarks, as the camera follows the trio heading towards the back.

 

Duran and Onita go through the curtain and go down a hallway to the right, the referee’s yells echoing through the backstage of the Nationwide Arena and Duran doesn’t even bother to listen to a bit of it as he continues. Duran takes another right, heading towards the parking lot where he notices the PT Cruiser placed near the entrance. Duran says something that can’t be picked up by the cameraman, and then is about ten feet from the car when Onita suddenly quickly pushes Duran away and hits yet ANOTHER kick to the side of Duran, which will likely be bruising tomorrow. The groans of pain from Duran bounce off the walls backstage, as Annie glances over at the midnight blue vehicle, before going over to Duran and trying to lift him up.

 

“The smart thing here would be to take him back to the ring, since pinfalls and submissions will only count in the ring, and Onita isn’t going to be any safer on the outside!”

 

“But I think Citizen Annie smells blood, Robert, and she’s going to throw Citizen Duran from pillar to post to get revenge for that brutal attack with the keys, which I still cannot believe!”

 

Citizen Annie nears the PT cruiser and the pillar that stands to the left of it, picking up Duran and attempting to whip him towards the pillar…

 

…but Duran reverses the momentum, and sends Annie in a different direction entirely, likely blinded by the pain and not even noticing until it is too late that Annie has been tossed onto the PT Cruiser, slamming into the front grill and making a dent in it, slumping down onto her rear as the crowd, watching on the SmarkTron, boos Duran’s actions. Duran seems angered, however.

 

“Goddamn it,” Duran mutters in range of the camera, and then looks at Onita for a moment, before backing up about ten feet, and then charging forward. The fans are confused until Duran finally gets up close to the PT Cruiser.

 

SMACK

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Duran’s right knee comes up in a flurry and slams into the cheek of Onita, damn near crushing her head in between the sharp knee of Duran and the grill of the midnight blue PT Cruiser!

 

“Duran has gotten absolutely hardcore here, and it’s all legal as long as he doesn’t use Annie’s wristwatch! This is amazing!”

 

“Amazing? Citizen Annie almost got killed by that wicked knee. How can that be amazing?”

 

“It doesn’t matter what you think, Comet, because right now, Annie Onita has NO chance of winning this match. I mean, look at what Duran has done to her in the span of five minutes or so! He’s almost killed her!”

 

“I think we’re going to need some medical attention for Onita after this match, this is out of control.”

 

The ref pulls Duran away from Annie, and the crowd cheers as the ref yells at Duran, even though what Duran did was perfectly legal. The Notorious One blows the warning off once again. Duran goes over to Annie and begins to bring her back the way they both came, taking her by the hair again as Annie seems to be deadweight against the pulling of Duran. The ref tries to help Annie, not wanting to stop the match if Annie still appears to be in it, and she does, but just barely.

 

“This is wrong, Robert, this is just wrong.” Comet doesn’t seem very pleased at all as the two wrestlers and the referee come out behind the curtain, and Duran rolls Annie down the ramp, the crowd vehemently booing the Notorious One as Annie just rolls and rolls and rolls until she reaches the base of the ramp, and Duran is right there, picking her up by her hair again and rolling her into the ring, the fans bummed as they think this could be the end of the match, starting a chant that grows quickly.

 

“DU – RAN SUCKS!”

 

“DU – RAN SUCKS!”

 

“DU – RAN SUCKS!”

 

Duran ignores it as he rolls Annie onto her back, sensing the end as Duran covers Annie, not even bothering to hook the leg.

 

ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO! SHE KICKED OUT! SHE KICKED OUT!

 

The crowd goes NUTS as Annie gets a shoulder up JUST IN TIME. Duran is in shock and yells at the ref, but the ref has nothing to tell him as he signals to Duran that it was only two, only a two count. Duran can’t believe it, but the fans are believers as they cheer Annie on, trying to get behind her. Duran brings Annie to her feet once again, and calls for the end, as the fans become a mob of discontents; Duran lifts Annie into the torture rack position, looking for the Blunt Force Trauma.

 

“This is it,” Riley speaks, “Annie is done!”

 

Duran swings Annie’s legs out behind him, looking to drop to the mat with her…

 

…but Annie lands on her feet! Duran almost falls over from the sudden stop of momentum, and he turns around…right into a Superkick!

 

“No,” Riley screams.

 

“Yes, she can do it, she can comeback,” Comet says, full of hope.

 

The superkick is over almost as soon as it had begun, a quick flash of a kick, and Duran is down on the mat in a damn hurry. Annie then leaps over Duran’s body, jumping up onto the middle rope and leaping backwards, doing a backflip through the air as the cameras go off everywhere!

 

BOOM

 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

The crowd gets wacky once again as the Lionsault connects.

 

“It’s over, Citizen Annie has this one!”

 

“NOOO!”

 

Annie hooks the leg as the referee swings around to count the pinfall, the crowd chanting along in a deafening tone, Allison beside herself with joy for her twin sister.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE! SHE DID IT! IT’S ALL OVER!

 

 

 

 

 

…NO! IT WAS A TWO COUNT!

 

The referee signals to the timekeeper that it was only a two count, and the crowd is in disbelief as Duran seemed to just BARELY get his shoulder up to beat the three count. Allison seemed very much ready to celebrate, and Annie is having a hard time believing it too, but doesn’t bother to argue the call, simply getting up and calling for the…

 

“She’s calling for the Daybreak,” Comet screams, almost imitating Riley to a “T” as Riley is stunned into silence.

 

Annie brings Duran back to his feet, putting him in a standing headscissors. The crowd is on their feet, watching as Annie hooks the arms of Duran, cheering as she…

 

…is lifted up by Duran and backdropped to the mat!

 

The crowd boo almost on instinct, as Duran looks exhausted, turning around to Annie and holding his head, seeming to have a headache. Duran angrily thrusts his hand down, clamping it around the throat of Annie and LIFTING HER UP off the mat, bringing her to her feet and then hoisting her up into the air, holding her steady with his free hand and then slamming her down with authority, a vicious chokeslam knocking the wind out of Ichiban as the Notorious One calls for the Blunt Force Trauma again!

 

“This has got to be it!” Riley hopes, back in the game after being stunned by Annie’s brief comeback.

 

Duran picks up Annie, putting her in the torture rack position and walking around with her a bit, letting everyone see the almost-lifeless Hardcore Queen resting on the shoulders of Duran. Finally, John whips Annie’s legs behind him, their two bodies forming a straight line across the ring as Duran drops…

 

Down…

 

 

Down…

 

 

Down…

 

BOOM

 

Duran hits his back and drives the back of Annie’s head into his shoulder, the crowd booing even though some of them took pictures, Annie laying on her back and not even appearing to be moving, period, as Duran, beaten and worn, crawls over Annie’s body and this time decides to hook the leg, the ref counting the pinfall once again, the crowd yelling for Annie to kick out.

 

ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The right hand of the ref drifts up into the air, and the crowd hopes that when it comes back down, it won’t be with Annie’s shoulders still on the mat. The hope resides in Annie’s sister Allison as well, and all of her fans watching this on worldwide television hope that she can just kickout this one more time.

 

The hand falls…

 

And the shoulder doesn’t come up.

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

A sad look forms on Allison’s face as Duran rolls of Annie, letting out a gasp of air and lying on the mat in victory, Spineshank’s “Synthetic” kicking in again.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match via pinfall, THE NOTORIOUS ONE…JOHN…DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

 

The crowd continues to boo as the ref raises the hand of Duran, and Duran rolls out of the ring, holding his sides and his head at the same time, unsure of which one to focus on more, since they both are screaming in pain. Annie’s eyes open as she realizes that she has fallen in defeat, her body also aching after going the distance.

 

“What an amazing match, Comet,” Riley says finally as Duran ascends back up the ramp to the back, likely to get his new car fixed.

 

“All four wrestlers put it out there tonight in this opening match, and they should all be commended for putting up a heck of a fight.”

 

“If this is the kind of action that we can expect through the rest of tonight, then it should be a pleasure to watch it, even with you around, Comet!”

 

“Well, then you won’t be disappointed by the next match! Judge Mental is taking on a mystery man, there has been plenty of speculation, and soon it will be time to figure out just who this man is!”

 

“Coming up later in the show, we’ve got Va’aiga and Terrence Bailey, a feud between Va’aiga and the Trinity that has been brewing for quite some time. Let’s take a look at how this all started, shall we?”

 

A video package is cued up highlighting Va’aiga vs. The Trinity as the images of the aftermath of the Stocking Stuffers match fade out.

[Guest Suicide King]

Conditions in The Nation Wide Arena are not pleasant, people are tightly packed together shoulder and shoulder, and the heat is turned up way to high, making the air almost un-breathable. Still the fans are cheery, eagerly awaiting the next match on the card.

 

Comet: Coming up right now, we’ve got evil genius, Williams Hearford, battling an unknown returnee who’s name has yet to be announced.

 

Riley: This stinks of set up, Double C. Hearford has no clue as to who he’s facing, while this mystery opponent has probably had weeks to compare.

 

 

“NOW TESTIFY!”

 

The funky alternative metal of RATM blasts over the loud speakers, while three sets of red pyro shoot off the stage like cannon fire! This signals the entrance of Judge Williams Hearford (III), who methodically stalks his way out of the locker room, down to ring side.

 

Funyon: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first weighing in at 250 pounds, hailing from Royal Oak, Michigan.....THE HONORABLE JUDGE, WILLIAM HEARFORD THE THIRD!”

 

Though his threat tonight is unknown, the Judge appears to be totally unfazed, calmly entering the ring as always.

 

Comet: Hearford has very quietly stacked up one of the most impressive records in the history of the SWF! Though known more for his tag team skills, Hearford has also risen to the top of the singles division, coming incredibly close to defeating Tom Flesher a few months ago for the World Title.

 

Riley: God, don’t even remind me of that abomination of a match. The night, Flesher turned his back on his fans.

 

Comet: And joined the good fight against evil!

 

Suddenly, the “Jester’s Dance” bounces it’s way out of the loud speakers! Knowing who the entrance music belongs to, the crowd explodes into a massive pop!

 

Comet: IT’S DANNY WILLIAMS!

 

Riley: What dumpster did they find him in?

 

In peak psychical condition as always, Danny Williams comes strutting down to ringside like he hasn’t lost a step! The only person in the ring who isn’t wetting themselves is Hearford, though not to say he’s scared as his expression hasn’t changed at all.

 

Funyon: And his mystery opponent, weighing in at 245 pounds, hailing from Louisville,Kentucky..........DANNY WILLIAMS!

 

With both men in the ring, Soapdish calls for the bell without hestitation!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Glad to see Williams back in action, the Nationwide Arena bursts into a “DAN-E!” chant at the sound of the bell. Acknowledging the crowd’s cheers, a smiling Williams momentarily pauses in his corner, before getting down to business. Snorting like a bull, the always intimidating Hearford does a few last minute stretches before bouncing out of his corner like a wrestler half his age. Feeling each other out, Williams and the Judge turn a few circles around each other, before clashing together in a collar elbow tie up.

 

Comet: Both these men are proficient technical wrestlers, so there’s a very good chance we might see an excellent scientific match tonight.

 

Riley: If there’s anybody who’s a better technical wrestler than Ejiro Fasaki, it might very well be his partner William Hearford. That guy has more years under his belt, than Williams’ has had women.

 

The crowd settles down as Williams and Hearford battle for control of the tie up, though neither man seems to be gaining any ground. After a lot of tricky maneuvering, Hearford successfully muscles his smaller adversary down into a side headlock. Not giving the Judge the opportunity to crush his head between his swollen biceps, Williams runs him into the ropes, and shoots him off!

 

Bam!

 

Hearford comes steam rolling back, flooring Williams with a bruising Shoulderblock! Sizing Danny up, the Judge runs into the cross ropes, launching himself at his rising foe! Aware of his charging attacker, Williams drops back to the mat, letting the Judge hurdle over him like a middle aged track star! Hearford hits the ropes, and comes sprinting back at Williams, who athletically leap frogs over him! Bouncing into the ropes a second time, the Judge picks up even more speed as he flies back at Williams yet again! This time Williams is ready for the Judge, catching him with a big hip toss as he blindly runs into him!

 

Thump!

 

Mental’s 45 year old body crashes into the mat with a sickening thud! A bit sore, Hearford stiffly climbs to his feet, only to walk right into a Scoop Slam!

 

Boom!

 

Now wincing and clutching his back, Hearford defensively stumbles to a vertical base. Pressing the attack, Williams catches the Judge with a smooth headlock takedown! Noticing that the Judge’s shoulders down, Soapdish slides to the mat, and starts the count.

 

 

One!

 

 

Realizing his mistake, Hearford rolls over on his knees, stopping the count.

 

Comet: Thanks to his youthful quickness, Williams has gained the early advantage.

 

Riley: Williams may have sprinted out to an early lead, but slow and steady wins the race. And no one is slower and steadier than William Hearford!

 

“Huuuuuuuur”, groans Danny as he laboriously twists Hearford’s head around, causing the old man to cry out in anguish.

 

Looking to escape this uncomfortable predicament, Hearford wiggles his hands underneath Williams’ left arm, and begins to pry his captor’s arm from his head. Williams breaks a sweat as he struggles to keep the headlock applied, but the Judge is too damn strong for him. Hearford forcefully rotates out from underneath Williams’ arm, reversing the headlock into a top wristlock. Now standing on his knees, the Judge uses his superior leverage to power the seated Williams all way down to the mat.

 

 

One!

 

Before Soapdish can raise his hand a second time, Danny swiftly pulls Hearford off with a surprise head scissors. In a flash, Mental escapes Williams’ clutches with a kick out! Both men scramble to their feet, but Williams is up first. In the blink of an eye, Williams takes the Judge back to the mat with another headlock. Before Soapdish can even get into position for the count, Mental has already reversed the headlock to a grounded hammerlock.

 

Comet: Once again, the Judge finds a way out of the headlock. This time using a hammerlock reversal, perhaps so that Williams can’t put him in the head scissors again.

 

Riley: This is gonna happen every time the pace slows down. If you give him the time, Hearford will think his way out of any situation. You know, they don’t call him, “Judge Mental”, for nothing.

 

Frustrated, Williams slams his fist into the mat, cursing himself for riding the headlock to high. His face dripping with sweat, Hearford does his best to keep Williams on his stomach, while he struggles to catch his breath. Not given the Judge a break, Williams fights his way back to his feet, forcing Hearford to transition the hammerlock into a wristlock. Wanting to keep Williams on the mat, Hearford takes him over with a fireman carry. Mental fluidly slaps on an arm bar, but Williams bring his legs up, hooking them around the old Judge’s head. Using the head scissors, Williams pulls Hearford off his arm, and drags him down to the mat. The Judge thrashes his legs about trying to kick out like he did before, but no matter how hard he struggles, Williams won’t let go.

 

Comet: It would seem that Danny Williams has out smarted the super villain known as Mental!

 

Riley: Nonsense, the Judge will find another way out. Williams couldn’t out smart a dung beetle, let alone William Hearford.

 

The gears in his head already turning, Mental abandons his original plan, and crawls in front of Williams. From this new position, the Judge easily rolls on top of Williams with a Jack Knife Hold!

 

 

One!

 

 

With a scream of effort, Williams stunningly bridges off the mat, pushing Mental’s 250 pound frame up with him. Impressed, the fans whistle and holler like construction workers on their lunch break. Williams flexibly rotates out from underneath Hearford, and twists him down into a standing head scissors! Williams quickly clamps his strong arms around the Judge’s waist, igniting the cheers of the crowd!

 

Comet: He’s got him in position for the POWERBOMB!

 

Well aware of the danger he’s in, the Judge begins to violently shake from side to side, hoping to free himself from Williams’ clutches! Williams tries in vain to hold Mental still, but the quick thinking grappler has already backed up into the ropes.

 

Riley: It’s a little too early to be trying a big move like that against Hearford.

 

Comet: Williams may not have hit the Powerbomb, but still, he sent a powerful message to the Judge. Not only was he able to keep up with Hearford on the mat, he came awfully close to hitting one of the biggest bombs in his arsenal.

 

Riley: Well in this business, awfully close don’t cut it. There is no point system in the SWF, so as far as I’m concerned the only thing Williams did was miss a chance at winning the match. Hardly a positive.

 

Williams cautiously unwraps his arms from around Hearford’s waist, and slowly backs up with his hands in the air, showing Soapdish that he intends on giving a clean break. Surprisingly, the Judge returns in kind, though he really isn’t a position to do much of anything anyway. Still, the crowd applauds the clean break. Now at a safe distance, Williams holds his index finger and thumb together, letting Hearford know how close he came to certain death. The fans join in on the mocking, by briefly chanting, “Hearford Sucks!” Turning red with pinned up rage, Mental nervously paces back and forth, trying to comprehend the fact that he just got out smarted by someone 20 years younger than him.

 

Riley: Come on Will, don’t let that punk get in your head.

 

Comet: Hearford’s confidence has indeed been hurt, but like how the old saying goes, “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again”.

 

Seemingly cooled off after his temper tantrum, Hearford ceases his pacing, and sets his sights back on Williams. Nervously inching towards each other, Williams and Hearford extend their hands, and wiggle their fingers in search of Greco Roman Knucklock. The two carefully lock the fingers of their left hand, but when Williams looks to grab Hearford’s other hand, he gets a boot to the mid section! The wind knocked out of him, Danny freezes in his tracks, allowing the Judge to warp his chest with a nasty chop!

 

Smack!

 

Everyone in the building flinches, even the ones in the cheap seats, who could hear the chop from the very back of the building. Stunned and deflated, Williams doubles over, clutching his reddened chest.

 

Comet: Holy Macaroni, citizen Riley, that was one devastating chop!

 

Riley: Screw that old saying! If at first you don’t succeed, try something different, and that’s what Hearford is doing. Since he can’t out wrestle Williams, Hearford is just gonna have beat the crap out of him instead.

 

Pulling Williams upright by his hair, Hearford draws back his huge hand, and....

 

Smack!

 

slashes his chest with a second, and even sharper knife edge chop! Having had time to tighten his massive pecs, Williams sucks up the chop, and immediately returns fire with a hard elbow smash!

 

Crack!

 

Mental shakes off the effects of the brain rattling blow, and punishes Danny’s chest with another blistering chop!

 

Smack!

 

Angry and in pain, Williams screams as he delivers another nasty forearm to Mental’s jaw!

 

Crack!

 

Hurt, Mental momentarily stumbles as he swings out his hand for a counter chop!

 

Swoooosh!

 

Williams ducks under his arm, and sweeps around behind him! Off balance, Mental spins around to find Williams waiting for him in an attack stance!

 

Crack! Crack! Crack!

 

The fans roar as Williams drives Mental into the ropes with a series of jaw shattering elbow smashes! Taking his dazed opponent by the wrist, Danny pushes him into the ropes, and sends him for the ride! Anchoring himself to the mat, the Judge hangs on to Williams’ arm, reversing the Irish whip! Hearford jumps into position in the center of the ring, ready to take Williams head off as he rebounds back! However, Williams unexpectedly leaps up on to the second rope, and sling shots back at the Judge,...

 

Smack!

 

crashing into his chest with a reverse elbow! While the Judge nurses his injuries on the mat, Danny springs to his feet with an impressive kip up, sending the Nationwide Arena into a frenzy!

 

Comet: While most mortal men lose a step after taking some time off, Danny Williams appears to have gained a few.

 

Riley: The more steps you take, the more steps you mistake, and once that happens Hearford is gonna make him pay.

 

Danny patiently waits for Hearford to rise, before blasting him with a picture perfect standing Dropkick that would make Mak Francis envious! The impact from taking two boots to the chest sends Hearford flying through the ropes, down to the arena floor! On that cue, Danny leaps to his feet, and bullets across the ring! Knowing what’s on Williams’ mind, the fans get on their feet and make some noise. Transforming himself into a human torpedo, Williams boldly dives head first over the second rope,...

 

CRAAAAAAAACK!

 

drilling Hearford with a nasty diving forearm!

 

Comet: ELBOW SUICIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

 

Legally brain dead, the Judge blows back into the guardrail, and slides to the floor into a stupor! Overwhelmed by the smooth string of high spots, the fans erupt into a thunderous standing ovation. Williams victoriously slides into the ring, and bows to the screaming fans like a stage actor. Showing their appreciation, the fans begin chanting, “DAN-E!” over and over again.

 

Riley: Who does this punk think he is? While Williams was out soul searching or whatever, Hearford was kicking ass and taking names, and now he wants to come in here and act like he owns the place.

 

Seemingly punch drunk, the Judge sluggishly crawls to the ring, trying his best to beat the ten count. Limply grabbing the ring apron, Hearford weakly pulls himself upright, only to lose his grip, and collapse back to the floor. Soapdish continues to count, drawing ever closer to the dreaded double digits of the number ten.

 

Riley: This doesn’t look good...

 

Comet: Hearford appears to be unable to get back in the ring, and continue the match.

 

Just as Soapdish is about to stop the match, Hearford wearily swings his big leg up on to the ring apron. Growing impatient, Williams stomps over to the edge of the ring, when Hearford springs to life, and grabs his legs.

 

Riley: Ha, it was a trick!

 

The startled Williams gets pulled to the outside, where the Judge viciously rakes his face, and slams his head into the guardrail! The Judge spins the dazed grappler around, props him up against the guardrail, and slashes his chest with a cringe inducing chop!

 

Smack!

 

A sweat cloud flies off Williams’ chest, and splatters into the laps of the unnerved front roll fans! Not stopping there, Hearford whacks him with another big chop!

 

Smack!

 

This heavy blow sends Danny spilling over the guardrail, causing the fearing fans to jump out of their chairs, and get out of harms way. Stepping over the guardrail, the Judge grabs a freshly deserted chair, raises it over his head, and slams it down on Williams’ back!

 

Clang!

 

Fearing a count out, Mental heads for the ring, leaving Danny to agonize on the floor. Security does their best to hold back the hoarding crowd, while Williams tries to pull himself together. Meanwhile, Hearford predictably re-enters to the ring to a chorus of “boos” and jeers. Mental just brushes their insults off, and tauntingly taps his tempo.

 

Comet: And once again, the Judge has just ruined a perfectly good technical match with another unprovoked vile act of extreme villainy!

 

Riley: These people can hate Hearford all they want, but he just out smarted Danny Williams plain and simple.

 

Comet: Using deception and rule breaking to gain an advantage on someone isn’t the same as out thinking them, citizen Riley.

 

Sore and groggy, Williams slithers his way back over the guardrail, and flops down on the floor in a heap. Returning to his feet with a groan, Williams gingerly climbs up on the ring apron. Leaning over the ropes, Mental pulls Williams up by his hair, and tucks his head down in a front facelock. Danny’s inside arm over his shoulder, Hearford grabs a handful of tights.

 

Comet: The Judge, preparing to bring Williams back into the ring with a Suplex.

 

Hearford takes a couple of deep breaths, and hisses with strain as he attempts to hoist Williams’ short bulky frame over the ropes. More aware of his surroundings than Hearford suspected, Williams laces his legs around the bottom rope, blocking the Suplex attempt. In raged over Williams’ defiance, Hearford releases him from the Suplex set up, and chops his chest!

 

Smack!

 

Fighting back, Williams returns fire with a weary elbow smash!

 

Crack!

 

Since a chop to the chest didn’t hurt his spirit, Hearford tires his luck with a good ol fashioned thumb to the eye!

 

Comet: Hearford is busting out every dirty trick in the book, tonight!

 

Riley: Like that’s a bad thing.

 

Williams instinctively jerks his head back, blinking rapidly to clear his watery eye. Still within arm’s reach, Hearford grabs Williams’ by his head, quickly repositions him for the Suplex, and hoists him high into the air! The Judge does a cute little spin before falling back to the mat, slamming Williams into the canvas with tremendous force!

 

Comet: Hearford, getting flashy with a Corkscrew Suplex!

 

Riley: That ought to teach Williams for trying to showboat against him.

 

Blood now running down his face by the gallons, Williams sits up while screaming agony. Cunningly kneeling behind Danny, Hearford traps him in the dreaded rear chinlock! In a panic, Williams scoots his way to the ropes in a matter of seconds! Pretending like he forgot the rules, Hearford keeps the hold locked on as tight as ever!

 

“Boooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

 

Not putting up with this shit, Soapdish starts counting without hesitation! The Judge patiently waits until the last possible second, before he decides to release his drained victim. Soapdish chastises Hearford, but the old vet let’s go in one ear and out the other. Guiding his drowsy opponent to his feet, the Judge cruelly chops away at his chest!

 

Smack! Smack! Smack!

 

Several broken blood vessels later, Hearford flips Williams off the ropes with a well executed snap mare. Not giving Williams a breather, the Judge confidently cranks a chinlock. Getting behind the face in peril, the fans encourage Williams the only way they can, by chanting like mad men.

 

“Let’s Go Williams, LET’S GO!” Clap! Clap! Clap!Clap!Clap!

 

The chant picks up in steam, growing louder and louder with each passing second. The louder the fan’s get, the stronger Williams gets as he powers his way to his feet like only a no selling old school baby face can.

 

Comet: The law abiding citizens of this fair city have gotten Williams’ back into the match!

 

Riley: Law abiding my ass! Every time I closed the window to my hotel room last night, I ended up smashing somebodies’ fingers.

 

Now on his feet, Williams begins to repeatedly slam his forearm into Hearford’s ribs. The Judge winces as each bone cracking shot connects, but still he loosely hangs on to the headlock in hopes of remaining in the driver’s seat. Having loosened Hearford’s normally bulldog like grip, Williams uses the extra space to drive some nasty reverse elbows into the Judge’s bread basket. This proves to be too much for the old man, who releases Williams, and grabs his stomach like he’s gonna hurl. Now free, Danny uses his new adrenaline surge to explode into the ropes! Rebounding back at Hearford like a bat out of hell,...

 

KA-BOOM!

 

Williams runs right into a ring shaking Powerslam! The sudden power move sucks all the life out of the building, not to mention it squashes Williams like a pancake!

 

Comet: What impact!

 

Riley: In a reoccurring theme, Williams blindly runs into a another trap!

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

Williams kicks out with authority, earning himself a nice little pop! Not letting his victim get away, Mental quickly traps Danny in yet another rear chinlock!

 

Comet: And Mental goes right back to his master plan.....wearing Williams down with chinlocks!

 

Already a bit drained, Williams finds himself in a risky situation. Knowing that he needs their help, the fans once again show their support. As the chanting reaches a fever pitch, Williams laboriously muscles his way back to a vertical base. Refusing to let Williams tenderize his rib cage again, Mental plays the role of the aggressor. Releasing the chinlock, Hearford blasts Williams into a corner with a series of head snapping European Uppercuts!

 

Crack! Crack! Crack!

 

Hooking his arm under Williams’, Hearford tosses him out of the corner with a high hip toss!

 

Boom!

 

Charging out of the corner, Hearford leaps into the air, and comes down on Williams’ forehead with a nasty as hell knee drop! Williams legs grotesquely flop into the air, allowing Hearford to quickly secure them for the pin attempt.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

Williams kicks out with authority, but Hearford quickly restrains him with yet another chinlock.

 

“Booooooooooooooooooooo!”

 

Sneering, Hearford shakes his head up and down as he works the hold for all it’s worth, suffocating Williams with his large, well sculpted arms!

 

Comet: The fair citizens in attendance, don’t seem to be too happy with the Judge’s somewhat repetitive offense.

 

Riley: Bah, what do these morons know about good wrestling, somebody needs to slip some redline in their beer

 

Totally spent with nothing more to give, Williams slumps down to the floor, carelessly resting his shoulders on the canvas. Having a good eye for this sort of this thing, Soapdish starts the count.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

Barely consciousness, Williams musters enough energy to raise his shoulder off the mat. With Soapdish keeping an eye on Williams’ shoulders, Hearford takes advantage of his blind spot by placing his boots on the second rope. The crowd goes berserk, screaming at Soapdish to take notice, but he’s a wrestling referee, and that would be asking too much.

 

Comet: That is clearly a violation of the rules!

 

Riley: Only if Soapdish sees it.

 

Unable to keep his arm up under the increased pressure of the chinlock, Williams lets it flop back to the canvas, forcing Soapdish to start another count.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Williams shoots his arm off the mat, but he can only keep it up there for a few seconds, before he has to drop it again.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once again, Danny stubbornly raises his arm, refusing to give in to fatigue! Frustrated, Mental starts barking at Soapdish, insisting that the count was slow. Of course by the time Soapdish can look up, Hearford already has his feet off the ropes. Unable to stand it anymore, the fans are now proverbially pulling their own hair out.

 

Comet: How long must this injustice continue?!

 

Riley: As long as it takes for Williams to lay down and admit defeat.

 

In the middle of Hearford and Soapdish’s argument, Williams’ shoulder drops again, and a count soon follows.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

........

 

 

 

 

Just when it seems all hope is lost, Williams barely wiggles his arm up! The excited fans are literally running in place, creating a rumbling that can be heard miles away!

 

Comet: Despite taking numerous short cuts, Hearford still can’t hold Danny down for the three!

 

Riley: Sure he hasn’t pinned him yet, but Hearford has worn Williams down to the point that he’s as helpless as a newborn kitten.

 

Realizing that he isn’t gonna put Williams away any time soon, a growling Hearford releases the chinlock, and jumps to his feet. Grabbing his somber opponent by his hair, Hearford jerks him up for more punishment.

 

Crack!

 

Once he gets on his feet, Williams shocks Hearford with an unexpected desperation elbow! Momentarily stunned, Hearford drops Williams, who sluggishly rolls into the ropes.

 

Comet: I’ve never seen a newborn kitten throw a forearm like that!

 

Riley: That was a fluke, trust me, Williams’ is in la la land.

 

Using the ropes, a glassy eyed Danny Williams lazily scales the ropes in a desperate attempt to get back on his feet. But his effort is in vain as the Judge stalks up behind him, and spins him around.

 

Bam! Bam!

 

Sweat flies everywhere as the Judge rips a couple of nasty European Uppercuts up Williams’ chin! Williams is helpless to resist as Hearford takes him by the wrist, and launches him off the ropes! However, Williams does have enough strength to hang on Hearford’s wrist, and pull him into a sickening short arm Elbow Smash!

 

CRAAACK!

 

Clearly out of it, the Judge staggers back into the ropes, and than comically flops forward, landing face first on the mat. Unable to stand on his own, Williams drops to his knees, and collapses on the mat. Finally having something to cheer about, the fans take the opportunity to give a riveting ovation.

 

Comet: Hearford is out cold, but does Williams have enough gas in the tank to capitalize!

 

Riley: Just another lucky shot, Hearford’s got this thing in the bank.

 

With a glazed over look in his eyes, Williams rests comfortably on his back, trying to gather enough energy to go back on offense. The brief double k.o. warms up the crowd, who are screaming for Williams to get up. A bit light headed, Williams wobbles to his feet, and starts banging his head with his hand, trying to wake himself up. Spotting Hearford stirring out of the corner of his eye, Williams guides him to his feet, and drives him into the ropes with a series of jabbing elbows!

 

Crack! Crack! Crack!

 

Williams shoots Hearfod off the ropes, and dips his head as he comes flying back, launching the old man into the air with a huge back body drop! Hearford gets some big air, before free falling to the mat like a rock!

 

Splat!

 

Brittle from the ravages of age, Hearford screams in pain as he blindly stumbles to his feet. Taking aim, Williams jumps straight up into the air, thrusting out his legs for a Dropkick!

 

Thump!

 

Hearford dives out of the way, letting Williams hit nothing but air. A bit shaken up by the unexpected crash landing, Williams hustles to his feet, when out of nowhere, Hearford wraps him up with a Sleeperhold!

 

“Booooooooooooooooooo!” “Hearford Sucks! Hearford Sucks! Hearford Sucks!”

 

Jumping up on Danny’s back, Hearford drags him down to the mat with a body scissors! Conditioned to believe that the hold is deadlier than the plague, the howling fans turn the Nationwide Arena into a mad house!

 

Comet: DOUSHIME SLEEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

 

Riley: With the power of his brilliant mind, Hearford finally avoided the Dropkick, and used the window of opportunity he created to lock on one of his favorite finishers!

 

Comet: Having already been bled dry all those chinlocks, you have to wander if Williams has enough reserve energy to escape the hold!

 

Though it’s growing heavier and heavier, Williams keeps his arm raised high in the air, letting the ref and everyone else in the building know that he’s still alive and kicking. Fighting to keep his eyes open, Williams begins epically rolling towards the ropes. Though their throats are already getting sore, the fans cheer Williams on as he very slowly makes his way to the sanctuary of the ropes! Even as his vision starts to blur with the early stages of sleep, Williams reaches out, and snatches the bottom rope.

 

“Break!”

 

The jubilating crowd reacts to the rope break as if it was a really hot near fall!

 

Comet: Williams is showing a lot of heart tonight, surviving the Sleeper that has ended the nights of so many others in the past.

 

Riley: What Hearford is gonna have to do is dig a little deeper, and find a bigger bomb in his arsenal, one that is capable of finishing somebody like Danny.

 

Guiding the crusty eyed Williams to his feet, Hearford pushes him into a near by corner. The Judge pops Danny with a European Uppercut for good measure, before hooking him for the hip toss. Hearford takes a couple of big steps, before tossing Williams into the air! But to Hearford’s surprise, Williams hangs on, swankly reversing the hiptoss into an armdrag! Impressed with the counter, the fans gasp with amazement.

 

Comet: Sweet sassy malaise, what a counter!

 

Hearford scrambles to his feet, exploding at Williams as he stumbles to a vertical base! Ready for the Judge, Williams hooks his around the throat as he runs in, and dives forward, damn near tearing his head off with a nasty Neckbreaker Drop! Both men are on their backs, and the crowd is in hysterics!

 

Riley: Hearford is just given this thing away.

 

Comet: While Williams does deserve credit for the comeback, Hearford didn’t do himself any favors by making back to back mistakes.

 

Crawling on his hands and knees like he’s been wandering in a molten hot desert for too long, a dehydrated Danny Williams makes his way around to Hearford, blanketing him for the pin. The now super hot crowd, screams along with the count!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

Hearford kicks out, disappointed the jacked up crowd! Williams rolls over on his back with a sigh, knowing that he’s gonna have to do something drastic to end the match. Stumbling as he stands up, Williams leans down, and stuffs the Judge’s head between his legs, trapping him in a standing head scissors. The hot crowd makes some big noise as Williams pulls Hearford up by his tights, and links his arms around his stomach!

 

Comet: Danny’s gonna try to end it all right now with the Powerbomb!

 

Dripping sweat, Williams dips his ass to the mat, and lets out a scream of effort as he hoists 250 pounds of solid muscle off the mat! But once Williams gets the Judge on his shoulders, he collapses under his weight, and falls back to the mat!

 

Riley: He couldn’t hold him!

 

Hearford lands atop Williams with a crushing Lou Thesz Press! The fans have their hearts in their throats, as Soapdish starts the count!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.........

 

 

 

 

Williams rolls out from underneath his foe in the nick of time! The celebration of the near fall is very brief, as it dawns on the fans that Williams’ situation looks very grim. Rubbing the back of his neck which is more than likely still sore sore from the Neckbreaker Drop, Hearford climbs back to his feet, and dusts himself off.

 

Riley: Despite being drained off all his energy, Williams foolishly tried the Powerbomb giving Hearford the opening he needs to end the match.

 

Standing poised and ready, Hearford anxiously beckons for Williams to return to his feet. Clutching his crushed chest cavity, Williams staggers to his feet in a drunken stupor, unaware of the danger that awaits. Once Danny is up, Hearford doubles him over with a kick to the bread basket! Grabbing a 3/4 headlock, Hearford drives Danny into the mat with a neck crunching Ace Crusher!

 

Comet: SURPRISE WITNESS! SURPRISE WITNESS!

 

Eager to end the match, Hearford quickly rolls Williams over, and drapes him for the pin!

 

Riley: HE’S GOT HIM NOW!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Thre-NO!” Williams shoots his shoulder off the mat, causing the relived fans too damn near riot!

 

 

Comet: And Danny Williams’ fighting spirit continues to amaze!

 

Riley: Don’t give me that fighting spirit mumbo jumbo, it was a slow count that saved Williams’ ass!

 

 

Smelling blood, Hearford hastily sits Williams up, and slaps on a Dragon Sleeper! As if he was trying to twist the cap off a bottle, Hearford uses the inverted facelock to contort Williams’ torso in a multitude of painful directions!

 

Comet: THE “HELD WITHOUT BAIL” STRETCH PLUM!!!

 

Riley: This match is as good as finished, Comet. Williams is to worn down and fatigued to escape a move as deadly as this.

 

There isn’t a seated soul in the arena, everyone is literally standing and shouting, praying that Williams doesn’t submit! Putting every thing he has left into the hold, Hearford covers the ring in sweat as he viciously twists Williams from side to side at an alarming pace! Soapdish is all up in Danny’s face, repeatedly asking him if he gives. Though the pain is unbearable, Williams heroically refuses to give in! Still, the Dragon Sleeper starts to take a hold of Williams, robbing him of his strength! Trying to get Williams through his hellish experience, the fans dramatically chant...

 

“DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!”

 

Not wanting to let his fans down for a second straight PPV, Williams bravely makes a go for the ropes.

 

Comet: Williams, desperately trying to make his way to the ropes, his last hope for salvation!

 

Inch by inch, Williams relentlessly scoots his way to the ropes. However, he is only human, and human’s need oxygen. Deprived of this need for far too long, Williams’ brain begins to shut down! No longer able to resist or scream, Williams arms start to loosely frail about in the hold. Feeling Williams gradually grow limp in his arms, an exhausted Hearford releases the hold, and falls atop him for the pin!

 

Riley: Maybe now, Williams knows what poor Ejiro went through when he passed out in his Buffalo Sleeper last August!

 

You can cut the tension with a knife as Soapdish starts the count, each slap a nail in Williams’ coffin.

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Three!”

 

 

 

 

NO, Soapdish halts the count, citing that Williams has stretched his leg under the bottom rope! Literally jumping with joy, the crowd explodes into pandemonium! Letting out a sorrowful groan, Hearford grabs the leg in question, and hooks it for another pin attempt.

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Three!”

 

 

NO! Williams gets a shoulder up, setting off another explosion of cheers! Totally spent, Hearford rolls over on his back, his stomach rapidly sinking in and out as he tries to replenish his air supply for another offensive run.

 

Comet: When Hearford went for the pin, he didn’t realize how close Williams had made it to the ropes, and now, that one mistake may have cost him the opportunity to put his resilient rival away!

 

With Hearford trying to catch his breath, a physically demolished Danny Williams rolls under the ropes, and flops down to the floor.

 

Riley: Hearford needs to stay on Williams while he’s got him hurt!

 

Knowing that he can’t give Danny time to recover, a weary Hearford slides out of the ring in a hurry. Finding his opponent lying motionless on the floor, Mental scoops the barely breathing Danny Williams up with a front facelock, and rolls him back into the ring. Staying hot on his trail, Hearford follows him in, and grabs him by his hair. The Judge sits his victim up, and attempts to slap on another inverted facelock! Like a slippery fish, Williams slips out of the Judge’s clutches, and rolls out of the ring in blur!

 

Comet: Williams, smartly going back to the outside, creating as much distance between himself and Hearford as possible.

 

Riley: He can stall all he wants, but it isn’t gonna do him any good. Williams is hanging by a thread, and it’s only a matter of time before Hearford cuts it.

 

Snorting like a bull, an annoyed Hearford climbs through the ropes, and jumps down to the floor. The Judge expresses his anger with some mean spirited stomps to Williams’ vulnerable mid section, before dragging him up by his hair, and slinging him back into the ring. Williams tries to roll away again, but Mental is hot on his trial, catching him before he go anywhere. Hearford gives Williams a few stomps, before picking him up. Once he get’s on his feet, Danny swats Hearford’s arms away, and fires a desperation elbow......that is blocked! In response, Hearford kicks Danny in the gut, and grabs a 3/4 headlock!

 

Riley: THE SURPRISE WITNESS!!!

 

Before Hearford can execute his finisher, Williams shoves him off! Hearford stumbles into the ropes, and bounces back at Williams against his will! Judge eats a boot to the gut, stopping him dead in his tracks!

 

CRAAAAAAAAAAACK!

 

Spinning in place, Williams knocks Hearford out of his boots with a lethal Elbow Smash!

 

Comet: NO, ROLLING ELBOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

 

Hearford spirals to the mat, while a still delirious Williams drops to one knee in a desperate attempt to stop himself from going down as well.

 

Comet: Hearford tried to stun Williams with a second Surprise Witness, but he didn’t count on Danny already figuring out to counter it. The rate these men’s minds have been operating at tonight is unbelievable.

 

Kneeling on the mat like a boxer taking an “8" count, Danny wipes his sleepy eyes, and smacks himself around, hoping to wake himself before Hearford can recover. Still a mess, Hearford rolls over into the ropes in a last ditch effort to save himself from being pinned. Staggering and flinching like he’s got a hang over, Williams gets on his feet, and goes after the Judge. Grabbing Hearford by his boot, Williams drags him into the center of the ring, and collapses on top of him for the pin. Super hot by this point, the fans count along at the top of their bleeding lungs!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hearford manages a weak kicks out to the disappointment of the fans!

 

Riley: It took Williams way too long to go for the pin.

 

Comet: At this point, Danny is lucky to be standing, let alone covering his opponent in a timely manner.

 

Rolling off the Judge, Williams crawls to the ropes, and pulls himself up. Williams waits for Hearford to stagger to his feet, before spinning off the ropes for another Rolling Elbow!

 

Swoooooooooooooooosh!

 

Avoiding the strike, Hearford ducks behind Danny, and sinks in a Sleeperhold! Running on empty as it is, Williams starts to black out instantaneously! Not only is it killing Danny, the move also sucks all the life out of the capacity crowd!

 

Comet: Williams came up dry on the second Rolling Elbow, allowing Hearford to capture him in a another draining Sleeperhold!

 

Dragging the Judge behind him, Williams power walks his way into a nearby corner! Cat walking up the turnbuckles, Williams kicks off with his legs, blowing himself and Hearford down to the mat. Using the momentum to his advantage, Danny rolls on top of the confused Judge, pinning him to the mat with a Tri Pod Bridge! Coming back to life, the fans spring out of their chairs like Jack in the Boxes!

 

Comet: Shades of Hearford/Flesher from !

 

Riley: Judge Mental can’t be beating by the same thing twice,....can he?

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Three!”

 

 

 

 

NO! Before his fate can be sealed, the Judge shoves Williams off! With a stunned look on his face, Hearford looks up at Soapdish, making sure that he didn’t just lose the match.

 

Comet: And Hearford survives a very close call!

 

Riley: Bah, I knew he was going to kick out the whole time.

 

Weak and weary, Williams lies vulnerable on the mat, while Hearford jumps back on the attack. Jerking his zombified opponent up by his hair, the Judge snap mares him into the center of the ring, and to the horror of the fans, goes for the Stretch Plum! Still having some fight left in him, Williams desperately grabs hold of the Judge’s arm, preventing it from being locked across his face! A violent struggle ensues as both men shake with strain as they try to over power each other!

 

Comet: Williams is blocking the Stretch Plum!

 

Riley: For now he is, but Danny won’t be able to fight Mental off in his weakened state forever!

 

Too excited to sit, everyone in the Center is standing at attention as Williams desperately tries to save himself from the certain death of the Held Without Bail! Summoning power from god knows where, a trembling Danny Williams battles his way up to one knee. Taking hold of Hearford’s arm with both hands, Williams rolls forward, throwing him off his back with a marvelous Judo Throw! Not letting go of the Judge’s arm, Williams tucks it under his arm pit, and cranks on a suffocating chinlock!

 

Comet: BUFFALO SLEEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

 

Knowing that the move has always resulted in a pin or submission, the fans blow the roof off the place with the biggest pop of the night! Fading at an extreme rate, Hearford begins scoots towards the ropes as fast as he possibly can!

 

Comet: This the same submission hold that Williams used to defeat Ejiro with last summer!

 

 

Riley: Yeah, but he couldn’t make Ejiro submit with it! Danny had to pin him after he passed out in it.

 

Turning purple from lack of air, Hearford gags and spits as he slowly but surely finds his way to the sanctuary of the ropes! Releasing the hold, Williams whips the Judge’s exposed back with a couple of brutal punts!

 

Smack! Smack! Smack!

 

Fighting through the pain, Hearford survives the barrage of kicks long enough to pull himself to his feet. Yanking the Judge off the ropes by his tights, Williams wraps his strong arms around his waist, and throws him all the way across the ring!

 

CRUNCH!

 

Hearford lands grotesquely on the back of his dome, and bounces over on his stomach!

 

Comet: RELEASE GERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

 

Riley: 45 year old men should not land on their hands like that!

 

The sight of a middle age man bumping his ass off like that is enough to cause the all ready molten hot crowd to raise volume one final notch! After the big lift, Williams rests for a couple of seconds, channeling all his remaining energy for one final run.

 

Comet: Hearford is out cold, all Danny has to do is cover him!

 

Rising to his feet, a seemingly re-energized Williams lets out an emotional roar to the crowd, before marching towards the Judge’s carcass! Bending over, Danny grabs Hearford by his hair, raises a finger in the air, and screams...

 

“VICTOOOOOOOOOOOOORY!”

 

With the fans now given a constant pop, Williams drags the rubber legged Judge to his feet, only to tuck him down in a standing head scissors! One at a time, Williams wraps his huge, swollen arms around Hearford’s gut!

 

Comet: HE’S GONNA TRY THE POWERBOMB AGAIN!

 

Riley: Danny couldn’t even get him up earlier in the match, so what makes him think he can hit it now?

 

Comet: Haven’t you heard of a little thing called adrenaline?

 

Huffing and puffing like the Wolf in the “Three Little Pigs”, a sweaty Danny Williams squats low to the mat, and pulls......,but the Judge stubbornly remains anchored to the mat! Not giving up, Williams dips his knees, and lifts again.....,yet he still can’t get Hearford up!

 

Riley: I told you, Comet, Danny can’t get him up!

 

Taking in more air, Williams trembles like a Dragon Ball Z character as he charges up for one more lift! Straining so much he exposes every vein in his ripped body, Williams lets a cry of effort as he peels the Judge off the canvas, and wrenches him up into the air!

 

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

 

The crowd roars as Williams successfully flips the Judge all the way up on to his shoulders! Deeply doubling over, Danny slams the old man into the canvas so hard that it damn near leaves a crater!

 

KA-BOOOOOOM!

 

The Judge folds in half upon impact, allowing Williams to lean over his broken body for the slide pin!

 

Comet: “HE HIT IT, POWERBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB!”

 

Overwhelmed with joy, the fans accompany the pin with a ear shattering count!

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

Soapdish calls for the bell, and the every fan in the building it seems, rush down to ring side in hopes of getting a closer view of the Williams’ victory!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Williams rolls off the Judge, who’s body snaps back to it’s natural position! In Flames dances it’s way out of the loud speakers for the second time tonight, while the fans begin chanting, “DAN-E!” for like the three hundredth time!

 

Comet: Make no mistake, Danny Williams is back!

 

Riley: Hardly, he had to sneak his way back into the fed, and ambush Hearford to beat him! One of the Judge’s greatest strengths is his ability to scout his opponent, and be well prepared by bell time. This is an outrage, and it shouldn’t count against Hearford’s record!

 

Comet: While there are some unusual circumstances surrounding the match, it’s still an impressive performance from Danny Williams, who has just defeated a World Title contender.

 

Once Williams finds the energy to stand up, Hearford raises his arm in triumph! Barely able to stand, Williams flops back to the mat, and rolls out of the ring. Obviously very dizzy and off balanced, Williams slowly staggers his way to the locker room area for a much needed nap. The Judge on the other hand is still out cold from the Powerbomb, prompting some ring side doctors to climb in and take a look at him.

 

Comet: Fans were only getting started, so stay tuned, we have plenty more hard hitting PPV action coming up!

[Guest Suicide King]

As we come back to SWF ‘Twas The Fight Before Christmas, we find ourselves looking at a set that looks like it came straight from the North Pole. Christmas lights, pulsing slowly in organized lines, outline the SmarkTron and the backdrop of a gingerbread house, complete with candy-glass windows. On either side of the entrance, creating a single straight path, are four waist-high, illuminated glass candy canes, two on each side in the space between the entrance and the ramp, more Christmas lights strung between them, creating a festive atmosphere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’d better believe it won’t be like this much longer.

 

Meanwhile, we begin to hear the melodic sounds of an old Christmas carol playing over the airwaves...

 

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

fa la la la la, la la la la

tis the season to be jolly

fa la la la la, la la la la

 

 

But as soon as those words are sung, the magical musical talents of Mark Hoppus, Tom Delonge and Travis Barker take over, the three collectively one of the most popular rock bands today.

 

Outside the carolers start to sing

I can't describe the joy they bring

cause joy is something they don't bring me

 

My girlfriend is by my side

from the roof are hanging sickles of ice

their whiny voices get irritating

It's Christmas time again

 

Blink 182’s “I Won't Be Home For Christmas” is now in full blast, spreading the seasonal joy and holiday cheer among the many people who have come to this time and place, craving for the carnage, wreckage, and all-out, blood-filled brawling that only comes around... everytime they do a show, actually.

 

So I stand with a dead smile on my face

wondering how much of my time they'll waste

oh God, I hate these Satan's helpers

 

And then I guess I must have snapped

because I grabbed the baseball bat

and made them all run for shelter

 

It's Christmas time, again

It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, all year

I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

 

You people scare me

please stay away from my home

If you don't want to get beat down

just leave the presents and then leave me alone

 

The crowd continues to roar, waving signs such as “” and “”, but those are not important, because what is important is taking place at ringside, where Bobby Riley and Cyclone Comet, both in festive green, white, anf red SWF polos and Santa hats, are sitting behind an announce table decorated with lights. And yet once more, Bobby Riley wishes he was somewhere else besides here... stuck with that annoying Comet.

 

Riley: Welcome back to the SWF’s holiday PPV, ‘Twas The Fight Before Christmas! We’re live here from the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio! I’m Bobby Riley, once again forced to be here with-

 

Comet: CYCLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE COMET!

 

Riley: Quite so.

 

Looking down at a small cue card, Riley just shakes his head. Stevens is making him read it, though he desperately doesn’t want to, except Mark wouldn’t hesitate to fire Riley for being insubordinate. And so, with a total lack of any enthusiasm, Riley forces the words from out of his throat...

 

Riley: *sigh* And once again, folks, the SWF family wishes you and yours a-

 

Comet: MEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYY CHRISTMAS! It is that time of year again, where magic and miracles are abound!

 

Riley: Miracles, eh? Does that mean you’re going to be quiet?

 

Comet: Indeed not, Robert, but I do have for you present that you will enjoy greatly!

 

Riley: Is it that you’re leaving? Please tell me you’re leaving! Pleeeeeeease!

 

Comet laughs heartily, as if he were Old St. Nick himself. Riley looks very perplexed, having no idea as to why Comet is laughing, besides the fact he is legally insane in all 50 states and Guam.

 

Comet: Oh, how you make me laugh, young sidekick.

 

Putting a hand under the table, Comet feels around for something hidden under there. Though the previous sentence might turn Bobby Riley on, Comet suddenly finds what he is looking for, and pulling it out from under the table, produces a large, amateurly-wrapped box, holding it out towards Bobby.

 

Comet: Enjoy, spirited supporter of devilish deeds!

 

Riley reaches over, grudingly ripping the present from Comet’s cheerful hands, a $20 grin spread across the face of the superhero-turned-wrestler-turned-actor-turned commentator. Riley has no clue what it is, and as he bitterly tears open the package... he finds a box. Opening it, and pulling out the contents within, he just shakes his head, looking at it as if it were a woolen Cyclone Comet sweater knitten by Comet’s mother.

 

Riley: ...Oh joy. A woolen Cyclone Comet sweater. Yay.

 

Comet: Ah, I see you like it! My mother knitted just for you, Robert! Try it on!

 

Riley: No, that’s not necessary-

 

Suddenly, though, Comet tackles Riley out of his seat, Bobby’s headset still attached as he wrestles with the defender of truth and justice, trying to fend him and his present off.

 

Riley: DAMMIT, COMET! GET OFF ME-OW! THAT HURT! DON’T YOU DARE-OUCHIES! STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!

 

We can hear the two wrestling for a few more seconds before Comet suddenly pops up from behind the table, a grin stretching from cheek to cheek.

 

Comet: Aaaaaand done! Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?

 

Slowly, Bobby Riley rises from behind the desk, scowling in anger, now with Comet’s present pulled over his upper body. The blue and white sweater has Comet’s face emblazoned on the front of it, love in every stitch of Mama Comet’s creation. Unfortuantely, Riley doesn’t seem to be feeling the love, as Comet’s antics have left him pretty angry.

 

Comet: Looking good, Citizen Riley-

 

Riley: ENOUGH! Shouldn’t you be getting ready for whatever’s supposed to be next?

 

Comet: Why yes! I should, for the next match shall be great!

 

Comet quickly jumps up, readjusts his head set, and plops down into his seat as if nothing had happened, while Riley crawls back up into his seat, looking more like the victim of a vicious assault than someone forced into trying on a sweater.

 

Comet: Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to behold a genius creation from the mind of “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens! The first-ever Away In A Manger match between Wildchild, Xstasy, Michael Craven, Linchpin, and Crow, for a shot at the SWF World Championship!

 

Riley: Speaking of Wildchild, he only recently lost his much-valued Hardcore Gamer’s belt to a returning Janus, now wrestling under his real name, but the Commissioner feels he is on his way to bigger and better things. Xstasy is a match for the Wildchild in every possible way, and possibly even more hungry for the title. Craven is determined that this time the stars are right for him, and he won't let anyone stand in his way, regardless if they are friend or foe. Linchpin is the wild card here, as the new US Champ looks to rise even further in the rankings! And finally, add in the completely recuperated Antichrist Superstar, eager to start off his new year with a bang, and some blood! Now what in the blue hell are the rules to this match, Comet, because I’m totally lost, much like Mark Stevens’ mind!

 

Comet: According to my CometNotes™, the rules are as follows: Immediately to the right of the SmarkTron, a large nativity scene has been erected. The farm animals, shepherds, angels, Joseph, Mary, and baby Jesus are all there, and can theoretically even be used as weapons. In front of the baby's cradle is a large pit, 10 ft deep. To eliminate someone you must swaddle them in one of the many blankets provided around the ring and nativity scene... and chuck them into the pit? Hmmm... quite odd. And once you are in the pit, you have been eliminated and may no longer participate in the match. The last person left will get a shot at the World title, but not the very next one shot. That is reserved for someone. In addition, there is no DQ and no countout.

 

Riley: Once again, more evidence that “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens has gone completely nuts.

 

Comet: Even I am somewhat perplexed by this match, Robert... it will be very interesting to see how this works out...

 

Riley: Regardless, this is important. At stake tonight, a shot at the SWF World Title. The stip, more ridiculous than I care to mention. The result, what may be an unintentional classic. Fear the Away in a Manger Match. Especially if you’re a Christian.

 

As Riley finishes talking, the lights in the arena shut off, causing a total blackout while the crowd whispers amongst themselves, not sure of what just took place. For several seconds, they sit in silence, until a voice pierces through the darkness...

 

 

 

“… AND I WANT YOU!!!!”

 

 

“KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!”

 

 

A huge explosion and a BLINDING shower of white sparks come from the entryway as the dreadlocked figure stands silhouetted in its midst!

 

“YOU ARE THE PERFECT DRUG… THE PERFECT DRUG… THE PERFECT DRUG!”

 

NIN’s “The Perfect Drug” rocks on as the crowd loses their minds! The lights begin to flash now as Xstasy emerges from the spark eruption and saunters down to the ring.

 

Funyon: The following is an “Away In A Manger” Match, and it is for a shot at the SWF WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Introducing first; from The Nation’s Capital, weighing in at 211 pounds… XSTASSSSSY!!!

 

He hops the top rope, and gets in, going to two opposite turnbuckles and displaying the sign of the X over his head. Then he ties up his hair, before chilling Eddie Guerrero style in a corner while awaiting his oppoennts for this quite peculiar match. Stevens must have a lot of free time on his hands. Or he’s just God damn crazy, like Riley thinks.

 

Riley: And heeeeere’s Xstasy. Too bad nobody cares.

 

Comet: Oh, come now, Robert, I do care indeed! Citizen Xstasy may have fallen on some hard times as of late, even losing his SWF ICTV Title! You can bet, though, that he, as well as all of these men, are gunning for something much, much bigger and prestigious... Tom Flesher’s SWF World Championship!

 

The crowd roars loudly, but as X finishes off his entrance, the arena abruptly goes dark, save for a solitary white spotlight flashing intermittently on the stage, in time with the bouncing rhythm of Redman's "Let's Get Dirty". In the midst of all this extravagance, Wildchild steps out from behind the curtain onto the stage, with the spotlight continuing to flash off and on as . The spotlight follows him as he races down the ramp and somersaults into the ring. The spotlight continues to flash as it follows Wildchild around the ring, until the lights finally come back on when Redman screams:

 

"I CAN'T GET IN DA CLUB!"

 

Funyon: From The Bahamas, weighing in at 214 pounds... The Human Hurricane, the Amazing Aerial Attack from Andros Island... the one, the only... WI-LD-CHILDDDDDDDDDDD!!!

 

Comet: Behold! The Bahaman Bomber has arrived! And he’s got a great crime-fighting name!

 

Riley: Except he doesn’t fight crime, tinsel for brains.

 

Comet: Why, of course he does! He fights for truth, justice, and the American way!

 

Riley: He’s from The Bahamas!

 

Comet: Fine then... the Bahaman way!

 

Riley: ... You just do not get it, do you?

 

The crowd pops loudly for one of their favorite wrestlers, hoping to catch a glimpse of his risk-taking, high-flying style. Wildchild confidently smiles in the ring, X watching on from a corner, but as he does...

 

 

The lights cut out, the crowd going immediately silent for a second, the sold-out, rowdy arena full of fans is covered in a blackness that suffocates their massive energy. Suddenly, strobe lights pulse to the beat of the guitar and drums in the background, blasting from the PA system, the crowd beginning to boo, already knowing who the man on his way out to the ring is...

 

 

I'll never seen any side of heaven

I'll walk for miles through a blazin' hell

It doesn't matter what you think I'm supposed to be

'Cause I myself know all too well...

 

 

At that moment in the song, Saliva’s “King of My World”, the strobes abruptly cut out, and a flood of pale blue light rolls out from the house lights like fog at night on a large body of water, covering the arena in a false sky as well as illuminating the figure of “The King of Nightmares” Michael Craven as he walks out onto the stage to a resounding chorus of boos and jeers, a song he has grown an acquired taste to.

 

 

I'll open your eyes and make you see

I'm the king of my world

King of my world!!!!

I'll break down the walls around you, down...

 

 

I'm the king of my world

King of my world!!!!

I'll break down the walls around you...

 

 

Craven does not stop, continuing his walk down to the ring free of interruption. As he walks down the ramp, he turns around, facing back at the top of the ramp. Now walking backwards, he stretches his arms out wide, soaking in the crowd’s jeers, smiling to the crowd, enjoying every minute they boo him. Halfway down the ramp, though, he abruptly spins back around on his left heel, swinging his right arm in a straight path across the top of the stage.

 

 

“KA-BOOM!”

 

 

A huge blast of bright white pyro, or as some might say, the whitest white pyro in the history of pyro’s whiteness, kicks up, sending a shockwave across the arena that rattles some of the near-by cameras. The smoke from the blast lingers on stage for quite some time as Craven finishes the spin, now facing forward as he continues his walk to ringside without interruption.

 

Funyon: From Tampa, Florida, weighing in at 280 pounds, The King Of Nightmares... MICHAEL CRAVENNNNN!!!

 

Entering casually through the middle and top ropes, Craven quickly scales the turnbuckle closest to him, opening his arms wide and soaking in the crowd’s response, a chorus of heavy boos, as a white spotlight shines down upon him, casting shadows across his face. Bringing his arms down, he hops down, moving to his corner to begin warming up.

 

Riley: Michael Craven needs this win more than anyone. A win tonight and one more after that will undo all injustices Mark Stevens has committed against his poor soul!

 

Craven continues to warm-up on the ropes, but as he does...

 

 

"I'll get inside you..."

 

“The Way You Like It" By Adema begins to play as the lights begin to pulse, flaring up with the beat in the background. As the intro concludes, Linchpin walks out, nodding his head to be beat, only a slight hint of a smile as he looks around the arena, adjusting his gloves and moving his head from side to side, the crowd chering for his bad-ass attitude.

 

Comet: Linchpin has certainly made a splash in the SWF, winning the SWF United States Champion within a month of his debut! What an impression he would set tonight with a victory in this match!

 

Climbing the stairs to get into the ring, Linchpin casually removes his jacket, placing it neatly on top of the ring post. He then climbs through the ropes and moves into the ring, awaiting Funyon’s announcement...

 

Funyon: From Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 219 pounds, Public Enemy Number One... LINCH-PINNNNNNNNNNN!!!

 

A small collection of screams is heard as the lights fall and darkness overtakes the arena. Machine Head’s “Imperium” begins to play with its mellow strumming of the guitar. The intensity picks up progressively until it reaches boiling point...

 

“HHEEEAAAARRRR ME NNNNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!”

 

The lights flicker in a brooding red light as screens at homes around the world become distorted with picture noise. The lights and noise stops as the darkness goes black again, and a spotlight appears in the middle of the stage. Standing amidst the light is Crow, the Antichrist Superstar with his wings spread and head cocked back. The crowd cheers wildly for their beloved superstar.

 

“Hear me now!

Words I vow!

No fucking regrets!”

 

Crow drops his arms and turns around to face the crowd. A cigarette is as always present, the BUTT resting gently between his lips. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out his zippo and smiles as he slashes the zippo back and forward across his pants.

 

”Fuck these chains!

No god damn slave!

I will be different!”

 

The Antichristian Phenomenon lights the cigarette in his mouth and proceeds to stride forward. After his second stride he throws the still lit zippo behind him onto the stage and an eruption of fire goes off! The crowd cheers wildly as the flames rise up to two metres in height!

 

I'll stand here defiantly!

My middle finger raised!

Fuck your prejudice!

 

Funyon: And from Anchorage, Alaska, weighing in at 231 pounds, he is The Antichrist Superstar... ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back... CROOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

 

Crow strides up the steel steps, butting his cigarette out on the ring post before he enters the ring. He walks over to his corner and sits down, quietly watching the other four men warm up for the match. He’s already set to go. Now it’s up to them.

 

Riley: And the last man in is Crow, who has recently returned to the ring, and may have fallen into the perfect match to shake off some of that ring rust!

 

Crow pushes himself off the mat, but only when Matthew Kivell, SWF Head Referee, calls all five men to the center of the ring to explain to them the rules of this odd little match.

 

Riley: So, any thought on who’s going to win this match?

 

Comet: Well, of course, young Wildchild has to win! He must be the favorite!

 

Riley: Are you kidding? This is a hardcore match! A twisted, demented hardcore match, none the less, but hardcore means that Crow has got to come out on top.

 

As Kivell finishes, the five are still converged, looking at each other, not moving their eyes from the other four men in the ring with them.

 

Comet: You can feel the tension building between these men, and it looks like Matthew Kivell senses it, too, sending the men back to their respective corners to start the match!

 

As the four men are sent back to their corners by the ref, Kivell backs off, turning to the timekeeper, and signaling to him...

 

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

 

And all hell begins to break loose.

 

Craven immediately turns, going straight after Xstasy, the anger of X’s previous win over Craven for a title shot still lingering. At the same time, Linchpin catches Wildchild, nailing him with a hard right to the temple. This leaves Crow the odd man out, free to do what he wants...

 

 

...which is hold back and watch the four beat the crap out of each other at the moment while he exits the ring and goes scavenging for weaponry. It seems that Crow wants to turn this match hardcore as soon as possible, getting in some shots on the other four while letting them beat each other down. That doesn’t last very long, due to the problem that he is taken down by Xstasy as X flies over the top rope, purposely flung over it onto Crow by Michael Craven! While the two land on the bottom, Craven grabs the top rope, using it as a slingshot to propel himself over the apron and on top of the other two, leg-dropping the two when he lands on top of them! This leaves Wildchild and Linchpin in the ring to duke it out, every Linchpin blow being met with a kick from Wildchild. One of Linchpin’s blows, however, is ducked, and with the counter, Wildchild delivers a high roundhouse kick to the tough guy, knocking him back so that he staggers.

 

Riley: Craven goes right after Xstasy at the sound of the bell! If I recall, Craven was in a fatal four-way match with Xstasy, Ejiro, and Mak Francis for a shot a the World Title. It was Xstasy that won, and perhaps Craven is looking for vindication for that loss tonight!

 

Comet: But let us not forget Wildchild now battling Linchpin one-on-one, and young Wildchild seems to have a slight advantage!

 

Riley: But Crow seems to be the odd-man-out in this situation, and it loks like he’s just gonna sit back and watch these guys kick the crap out of each other!

 

Linchpin grabs the side of his head while turning around, but Wildchild hooks Linchpin’s other arm while he’s distracted, flipping him over quickly via an arm drag! Linchpin slams back-first into the mat and rises, only to be thrown into a second quick arm drag, grounding him again. Linchpin ascends a second time, but Wildchild is there to meet him, lifting his leg up as he connects to Linchpin’s chin with a leg lariat!

 

Comet: Young Wildchild is taking the fight to Linchpin, knocking him to the mat three times in a row before he can even catch his breath!

 

Linchpin falls back onto the mat, but Wildchild quickly turns, running to the ropes. Bouncing off them, he flies back at supersonic speed, headed for a rising Linchpin befoe he leaps into the air, crashing into Linchpin with a flying cross-body block! Both men fall to the mat, while outside the ring, Michael Craven rises to his feet, grabbing Crow and pulling him up, nailing him with right hands as he does. Crow doesn’t cry out in pain, but Craven doesn’t care, The King of Nightmares trying to do as much damage as possible. Thinking in such a manner, he takes hold of the pulled-up Crow, and grabbing him by the head and seat of his pants, throws him carelessly into the steel guardrail surrounding the ring!

 

“CLANK!”

 

The guard rail rattles with the impact, the crowd cringing while Craven turns his attention back to Xstsay, grabbing X and pulling him to his feet. Then, reaching underneath him, Craven lifts him into the air, pressing him above his body for several seconds before just simply pushing him up and leaving him to drop to the ground below!

 

“THUD!”

 

The crowd cringes and gasps as X’s body bounces off the ringside floor, grabbing his ribs and his face as he cries out in pain and rolls onto his back, leaving Craven to deal with the recovering Crow.

 

Comet: Such villainy from Craven! Attacking poor Crow and Xstasy like that! He should not be allowed to do such dastardly deeds!

 

Riley: Hey now, all of that’s legal in this match, so don’t try and make Craven out to be such a villain. Everything he’s done is directly within the context of the rules! And there’s nothing wrong with that now, is there?

 

Comet: Well, of course not, Robert, but-

 

Riley: Exactly.

 

Returning to the action inside the ring, we see Wildchild taking it to Linchpin, delivering two swift kicks to his face and chest before he grabs him by the arm and whips him to the ropes! Linchpin hits them, bouncing back at the waiting Wildchild, but Linchpin takes te offensive, leaping off his feet and into the air before smashing Wildchild down with a flying lariat! Both men drop to the mat and rise back up, but it is Linchpin who gains the advantage. Stepping to Wildchild’s side, he hooks his right leg around WC’s, then throws his right arm forward, tripping the Bahaman Bomber back, slamming him into the mat with a STO!

 

Riley: And just as soon as Wildchild seemed to be in control, back comes Linchpin, slamming Wildchild down with a STO! That one’s going to hurt in the morning!

 

The two combatants meet canvas just as Craven throws Crow back into the ring, sliding in himself. Crow slowly begins to push himself up to his feet, but Craven quickly grabs him, turning him around in a doubled-over position. Once done, Craven uses his free arm to throw clubbing blows into the body of Crow, specifically the back, neck, and head areas. Again, Crow does not cry out, but grunts this time with each hard blow to his body, Craven showing little care for his opponent. In fact, he smiles fiendishly while beating down the Antichrist Superstar.

 

Riley: Look at that smile! that’s the smile of a confident man, Comet!

 

Comet: It’s also the smile of an evil bastion of corruption and all that is wrong with the world, a smile that must be smited.

 

Riley: I see we woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, didn’t we, Comet?

 

Craven’s smile disappears, though, as Crow fights back, forcing himself forward, and in the process, tackling Craven to the mat! The crowd pops like crazy as Craven slams into the mat on his back, but Crow is not done. Pinning Craven down with his body, he begins to repay The Gulf Coast Hurricane for the clubbing blows, smashing him in the face with a battery of hard, brutal, relentless right and left closed fists! Craven cries out, and as if that wasn’t enough, Xstasy makes his return, also seeing indemnities against Craven in the form of a flurry of hard stomps to Craven’s legs and lower torso. Craven cries out in pain as the two rain blows down upon him for quite some time, only letting up to pull him to his feet.

 

Comet: Ha! Who is smiling now, King of Nightmares? Certainly not you, since the forces of good are giving you a good ass-kicking!

 

Once on his feet, the beatodwn resumes with several hard blows to the chest and face from both Crow and Xstasy, then a boot to the gut from X and a front facelock on Craven. Xstasy then drops back, slamming Craven down with a hard DDT into the mat! The crowd pops for the move, while at the same time, watches Linchpin pull Wildchild to his feet, where he greets him with several body blows and a clothesline back to the mat. Wildchild hits the mat at the same time Crow leaves the ring, hopping off the apron before he throws the apron curtain up and searches under the ring for a weapon, as he had first desired to. While this goes on, Xstasy rolls Craven onto his back, mounting his body with a guillotine lock before unleashing a hard series of blows to the head. Craven cries out with each of these blows, trying to free himself from the assault by The Perfect Drug, unsuccessful in doing so.

 

Riley: Look at this! Craven’s getting double-teamed by Crow and Xstasy! They’re just beating the crap out of him!

 

Comet: But you must realize, with four fighting for good and one for evil, Citizen Craven stands no chance against these united, valiant warriors for the cause of good!

 

Riley: They don’t united to me! Hell, Linchpin and Wildchild are beating the crap out of each other!

 

Finally, though, Craven kicks Xstasy off top of him, X landing on the mat and slowly rising to his feet along with Craven. While the two rise, though, X takes a few steps towards Craven, backflipping WITHOUT THE USE OF HANDS into the air, where he plans one of his feet in the chest of the rising Craven, nailing him in the chin with the other boot! Xstasy continues to flip back while Craven fall back into the mat, the crowd going wild for the amazing move!

 

Comet: Whipback kick from the high-flying preventer of crime, Xstasy! He has been all over Citizen Craven since he has re-entered the ring, and the momentum has shifted towards the forces of good once again!

 

Riley: Can’t you just say it’s a whipback kick and be done with it?

 

Craven lands hard on the mat, but the crowd pops, as outside the ring, Crow pulls a steel chair from underneath the ring, slowly sliding back into the ring with it as Xstasy lands on his feet, grabbing a sitting-up Craven before pulling him up.

 

Comet: And now, it looks like Citizen Craven may be in for one gigantic headache!

 

Riley: Because they’re going to beat his skull in with a steel chair?!?! That’s not fair to the poor guy! They can’t do that! And I can’t believe Stevens is going to let this happen!

 

Comet: But you said yourself that as long as it is within the rules, it is fair!

 

Riley: What?!?! What are you talking about, you nutcase?!?! When the hell did I say that?

 

As Xstasy pulls up Craven, Crow sizes him up, preparing to deliver a brain-rattling chair shot to Craven. Xstasy, unknowing of Crow’s intentions, nails Craven with two hard knee shots, then grabs him by the wrist and whips him to the ropes, exactly where Crow is standing and waiting. Out of nature, Craven tries to counter the move, and does so reversing the whip, sending hia ttacker right into the crosshairs while the chair swings-

 

 

“CRACK!”

 

 

The shot sends Xstasy to the mat like a brick, Crow drawing the char back up for another chair shot, this one to Craven, but Craven himself cuts it off, jumping into the air before thrusting his legs out into a dropkick onto the chair!

 

 

“CRACK!”

 

 

The chair flies back and nails Crow in the face, causing him to drop it as he falls to the mat, crowd booing loudly at Craven, while at the same time, that same crowd watches Linchpin clothesline Wildchild up and over the top rope and to the outside, the Carribean Cruiserweight tumbling before-

 

“THUD!”

 

He hits the ringside floor, grabbing his back as Linchpin makes his exit from the ring as well, but he goes a much easier way of doing so, through the ropes and onto the apron instead.

[Guest Suicide King]

Riley: Xstasy just got nailed with an inadvertant chair shot, followed by Crow getting the chair dropkicked back into his face by Craven, the man he wanted to attack, and now Wildchild has been knocked over the top rope and to the outside by Linchpin! Something tells me things are about to get VERY interesting!

 

Craven lands on the mat just as Linchpin hops down, Craven rolling to the outside of the ring to keep himself away from Crow and Xstasy, who will surely be after him the second they get to their feet. The man who looks like Mr. Silver grabs hold of Wildchild, pulling him head first to his feet, where he nails him with two hard right hands, then grabs him by the head and slams that head into the steel guard rail! The rail rings loud as Dub-Cee’s head bounces off it, but as he falls to the ground, Michael Craven unexpectedly jumps Linchpin! Knocking Linchpin to the ground with a forearm smash, Craven stands over him, but reaches down and grabs him, pulling Linchpin to his feet. The King of Nightmares quickly goes after Linchpin, delivering two hard knees into Linchpin’s face before he takes him by the head and throws him into the steel ring steps! The top half of the steps are jarred off the bottom half, falling to the floor along with Linchpin, who lands back-first against the steps.

 

Comet: What is Citizen Craven doing? He’s going after Linchpin now with no provocation what-so-ever!

 

Riley: He’s looking out for one person: himself. That’s what he’s doing, Comet. He’s just doing what every othe rman in this match is doing, and that’s wear down the other four competitors to the point where they can wrap them up and toss ‘em in the pit!

 

Comet: Well, that theory does make sense...

 

Riley: Of course it makes sense. I’m the logical thinker of this tandem. you, on the other hand, don’t even know what 0+0 is.

 

Comet: Why it is zero, of course. That’s a sily question to ask! Why would you ask that, Robert?

 

Riley: ... Never mind, Comet. Just never mind.

 

Linchpin slowly rises to his feet, where Craven boots him in the gut, grabbing him around the head in a front facelock. Craven throws an arm over his back, then stops the floor and whips Linchpin back, slamming him back-first into the steel guard rail with a snap suplex, rattling the fan control device. Linchpin grabs his back as Craven releases him, getting to his feet, but suddenly, he hears the crowd roar, and looking up, sees Xstasy going plancha over the top rope, flying straight at him with the desperation move! Craven barely has the time to duck out of the way, and in doing so, causes Xstasy to hit the wrong target, slamming into a recovering Wildchild instead!

 

Riley: A big mistake there by Xstasy! He took out the wrong guy with that plancha cross-body! Craven’s still standing!

 

While both Xstasy and Wildchild go down, this leaves Craven and Linchpin alone as Crow gets up in the ring, recovering from the dropkicked chair into his face. Craven, still standing, taunts Linchpin to get to his feet so he can get another beating, but as he begins to get to his feet, he suddenly wraps his legs around Craven’s and throws The King of Nightmares forward, causing him to smash his face into the bottom half of the steel steps!

 

 

“THUD!”

 

 

Craven cries out, grabbing his face while Linchpin begins to get to his feet, where he grabs Craven and pulls him up onto his feet. Craven still grabs his head, even as Linchpin draws his arm back before he swings it out at Mike...

 

“SLAP!”

 

...resulting in a hard chop across Craven’s chest!

 

Crowd: WOOOOOO!

 

Riley: And now Linchpin on the offensive after that sneaky little drop toe hold onto the steel steps! I can’t believe he has to cheat like that in order to keep Craven down!

 

Comet: But it’s not cheating, it’s a legal move!

 

Riley: Tsk, tsk, Comet... I thought you knew better than to look the other way from a crime!

 

Comet: No crime has been committed, fooled familiar! You must realize that!

 

Riley: Someone’s in denial now, aren’t they?

 

Craven staggers back a little, grabbing his chest, but Linchpin draws his arm back, swinging it into Craven’s chest...

 

“SLAP!”

 

...resulting in a second hard chop across Craven’s chest!

 

Crowd: WOOOOOO!

 

Craven staggers back, grabbing his chest again, but Linchpin draws back his arm one last time, swinging it out again...

 

“SLAP!”

 

...resulting in yet another hard chop across Craven’s chest!

 

Crowd: WOOOOOO!

 

Craven grabs his chest, stagger-spinning around, which alows Linchpin to get behind him, grab him around the neck, and drop back, neckbreaking Michael Craven into the ground below!

 

Comet: Neckbreaker on Craven! Linchpin has done his homework, trying to go after Michael Craven’s neck, though it is almost 100% after the Demonstar Driver he took four months ago!

 

Elsewhere, the crowd watches Xstasy and Wildchild rise to their feet, onlt to see Wildchild cut off with hard, blitzing jabs to Wildchild, trying to quickly gain a foothold over his opponent. Wildchild cries out with each blow, the match slowly descending into the chaos that all in attendance know it will eventually become. Eventually, Xstasy stops with the frontal assault of blows, instead bringing his hand, palm upwards, hard under Wildchild’s chin, slapping him with an upstart slap! Some Wildchild fans in the front row scream obscenities at Xstasy, but for X, there’s no time to play to the crowd right now. He feels what each man in this match feels: that he’s got to keep fighting to win, the prize at the end of this match too great to deny and pass up to appease the many fans in attendance here tonight.

 

Riley: Well, this sure is interesting. Wildchild and Xstasty seem to have broken out into fight! I haven’t seem going at each other hardcore in a long time!

 

Comet: Been a long time since you’ve seen that tape you made then, I’d assume?

 

Riley: Not funny, Comet. I’d suggest you stop with the sophomoric humor and focus on the match.

 

As Wildchild rises to his feet, Xstasy grabs him, sliding him onto his shoulders and neatly flipping him into a fireman’s carry. Xstasy flows into the move, though, and in doing so, does a cartwheel with the fireman’s carry, landing back on his feet after Wildchild hits the ground. Dub-Cee, though, rises back up, undeterred by the simple fireman’s carry. He even throws a kick at Xstasy, catching him in the gut by surprise. X cries out while Wildchild goes for kick #2, but this one is blocked by Xstasy. While Wildchild could leap up into an enziguri, Xstasy cuts him off, hooking him around the knee before dropping to the mat, dragon screw leg-whipping the Bahaman Bomber into the mat! The crowd pops, but Xstasy holds on to Wildchild’s leg, slowly pushing himself to his feet while he twists at Wildchild’s leg, locking in an ankle lock on the young cruiserweight!

 

Riley: Ankle lock on Wildchild! Xstasy might be trying to weaken that leg and slow Wildchild down, while at the same time keep him on the ground!

 

Wildchild cries out in pain trying to wiggle his leg out, Xstasy still holding onto that ankle, trying to torque it as much as he can. Wildchild, though, pulls from his acrobatic skills, and quickly rolling himself forward, he drags Xstasy down with him, breaking the hold on his ankle when Xstasy hits the mat! While all of this goes on, Linchpin is taking it to Craven with a series of hard boots, trying to keep The King of Nightmares grounded, the best possible thing he can do right now. Craven, though, begins to fight through the stomps, slowly rising to his feet, even as the crowd cheers on Linchpin. In doing so, he throws a kick, caught by Linchpin, but Craven leaps off his other foot, swinging around into an enziguri! The blow knocks Linchpin around and to his knees, Craven falling to the ground, but slowly pushing himself to his feet. Linchpin grabs his head for a second before he begins pushing himself up, but as he does, Michael Craven leaps off his feet, and with a sudden burst of energy, grabs him around the head, running forward before slamming him into the ground with a bulldog! Linchpin cries out as his face hits the ground, but Craven grabs him by the head, remaining down for several seconds as he catches his breath, then slowly rises to his feet, staggering towards the ramp and dragging Linchpin with him.

 

Comet: Where’d that bulldog come from? Craven just seemed to have had a burst of stamina, but he was down after that move for some time!

 

Riley: Just catching his breath, Comet. That’s all. You should know better by now.

 

Comet: To trust what you have to say about Craven or other law-breakers? Yes, I know better than to trust you with that.

 

As we turn our attention away from Craven and Linchpin, we find ourselves looking at Wildchild and Xstasy rising to their feet, both beginning to feel the burn of his exhausting match. It is Wildchild, though, who strikes first, nailing a combo of two quick kicks and a leg lariat, enough to knock Xstasy back to the mat. Xstasy slowly begins to get to his feet, and that’s when Wildchild strikes, leaping up into the air as if for an enziguri, kicking Xstasy in the back of the head with a gamengiri! Down go X and Dub-Cee again, both hitting the ground and remaining down for a few seconds before Wildchild slowly begins to sit up, pushing himself to his feet. This is followed by Xstasy trying to do the same thing, but he grabs the back of his head. However, Wildchild reaches his feet well before Xstasy does, and in doing so, gives himself the advantage. Knowing where he needs to attack Xstasy, he tries to figure out what to do next, and finally, Dub-Cee makes up his mind while the head-grabbing, pain-filled Xstasy rises to his feet slowly. He leaps up onto the apron, then jumps onto the middle rope, springboarding backwards off of it towards the rising Xstasy. Xstasy is now but a passenger, only able to watch the flying Wildchild engulf X’s head in a front facelock and swing around, driving his head into the ground with a DDT!

 

“THUD!”

 

The two men collapse to the ground, staying down while X grabs his head and Wildchild tries to catch his breath.

 

Riley: PRESUMED GUILTY! An odd name for that springboard variant of the jump swinging DDT! Wildchild has control over Xstasy!

 

Comet: Not for long, though. I think Xstasy’s just biding his time, waiting for that right time to strike. And when he does, it will not be pretty.

 

Riley: He’d better hurry up, then, because time’s running out for him!

 

While Riley and Comet comment on the move, Wildchild very slowly gets to his feet, dragging Xstasy up with him, and with X still in a front headlock, begins to drill him with some quick knees as he backs up the ramp, taking X with him towards the pit that lies at the top...

 

Riley: And it looks like Dub-Cee’s trying to drag Xstasy up to the pit. We’ll see how well that works...

 

Returning to Linchpin and Craven, The King of Nightmares has pulled Linchpin to his feet and is currently nailing him with several hard right handed blows. Linchpin grunts with each of them, Craven then grabbing Linchpin by the arm and whipping him up the ramp! Linchpin counters, though, and changes direction, sending Craven more of at an angle towards the side of the ramp. Seeing this, Mike tries to slow himself down, putting on the brakes and halting his whip mere millimeters from the edge of the ramp, having to catch his balance to make sure he doesn’t fall off. With a huge sigh of relief, Craven turns around...

 

 

“WHAM!”

 

 

Only to get dropkicked in the face!

 

Riley: HOLY SHIT! Craven just got dropkicked in the face by Linchpin! That means-

 

The force of the blow from Linchpin sends Craven flying off the stage, plummeting to whatever lies below. In this case, that’s the steel guard rail.

 

 

Ouch.

 

 

“THUD!”

 

 

Riley: OH MY GOD! CRAVEN MAY HAVE JUST BEEN BROKEN IN HALF AS HE FLIES OFF THE RAMP AND SLAMS INTO THE STEEL RAILING SURROUNDING THE RING!

 

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!

 

Comet: That was amazing, yet at the same time, scary! I don’t think Citizen Craven was meant to fly like that!

 

Riley: HE’S NOT MOVING! HE’S GOT TO BE PARALYZED! THIS IS FUCKIN’ WRONG!

 

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!

 

Comet: Profanities are not necessary, Robert. You are over-reacting-

 

Riley: He might have just crippled a guy! I am NOT over-reacting, dammit!

 

Craven lands hard back-first into the railing, grabbing his back and crying in pain as he slumps to the ground, effectively out of the match for the time being. The crowd cheers loudly for Linchpin as they chant, Public Enemy Number One taking in what he just did, but as he does...

 

 

“WHAM!”

 

 

Crow nails him from out of nowhere in the side of the head! Linchpin hits the ground as Crow begins to stomp away at Linchpin, the Antichrist Superstar going after the first available target now that Craven has been taken care of.

 

Riley: And now Crow is suddenly back in this match! How much more crazy will this get?

 

Linchpin falls to the mat as Dub-Cee pulls X up the ramp and towards the stage, Linchpin getting to his feet while Crow watches over him. Grabbing him by the head, Crow begins to nail him with hard right and left hands, adding in a roundhouse kicks that knocks him back up the ramp. Linchpin grabs the side of his head, staggering up the ramp, but while Crow stalks him, Xstasy counters the beatdown from Wildchild, tacking Wildchild’s knee and taking him down with a shooting leg tackle! Wildchild hits the ground, slowly rising up as X rises to his feet. At the same time, Crow grabs hold of Linchpin and whips him, trying to pull him bak for a short-arm clothesline, excpet Linchpin breaks free, flying straight for Xstasy. Seeing the danger charging at him, Xstasy rolls forward, smashing both legs into Linchpin’s face with a double-footed wheel kick! The blow knocks Licnhpin to the ground, but Crow comes in at the other thre men, trying to throw himself into the foray. In doing so, he opens himself up to Xstasy, who grabs Crow, pulls him, and backrolls, using his leg to push him overhead and back into the steel ramp! The capoeira flip suplex effectively puts Crow down for the moment, and as Xstasy gets to his feet, he can hear the crowd cheering, calling for more from The Perfect Drug. Obliging, he reaches up th the top of his wetsuit, unzippering it before he pulls down the top of his wetsuit, driving the fans, especially the ladies, wild!

 

Comet: It’s time to get Xstatic! The Perfect Drug is about to clean house!

 

Comet could not be more correct in his prediction. Wildchidl begins to rise, but Xstasy leaps up oto his shoulders and flips back, throwing WC into a hurracanrana! Wildchild goes down again, the crowd energizing Xstasy. He hops to his feet, grabbing a recovering Linchpin by the arm as he turns around, and faster than you can say “HOUSE EN FUEGO~!”, Xstasy slams Linchpin down into a hard hip toss onto the ramp! The steel ramp shakes, Xstasy rolling onto his feet to deal with the rising Crow. He turns aroudn to face Crow, who is bent-over, trying to push himself to his feet. Xstasy, though, finds opportunity there, and charging at him, grabs him by the back of the head, dropping to a knee while slamming Crow face-first into his other knee via the facebuster!

 

Comet: What a show of power from Xstasy! If nobody’s able to stop him, he’ll win this very quickly!

 

The crowd is ROARING as Xstasy gets to his feet, loduing chanting his name...

 

Crowd: XS-TA-SY! XS-TA-SY!

 

X seems pretty porud of that, Wildchild once more getting to his feet. Xstasy decides to once and for all to send him down, and perhaps, make him the first elimination of the match. And so, Xstasy gabs him around the head, taking a few steps forward before he drops wildchild face-first into the stage with a bulldog!

 

Riley: Bulldog from Xstasy! Wildchild’s in danger of being eliminated here!

 

Thw crowd pops slightly for the bulldog on Wildchild, but as Xstasy begins to get up, moving towards the blankets, Linchpin jumps him from behind! The crowd loudly begins to boo Linchpin for the first time in the match, Xstasy falling forward, but slowly getting to his feet. Linchpin moves himself to the right of Xstasy, though, and places Xstasy’s right arm over Linchpin’s right shoulder. Linchpin then reaches across the front of Xstasy's body with his right arm, his left arm reaching between Xstasy’s legs, hooking the right leg. Linchpin finally lifts Xstasy up and falls back, throwing him over his head, perpandicular to Linchpin's body, so that Xstasy lands on the upper part of their back and his neck!

 

“THUD!”

 

 

Riley: EXPLODER ‘98 FROM LINCHPIN! Xstasy was just in control of this match, and that one move may have shifted the momentum away from him!

 

Xstasy lies on the ground, slowly trying to move, just as Crow gets to his feet. Crow shakes his head, and looking down, sees Wildchild. Not knowing he was just bulldogged, Crow grabs him by the back of the head, pulling him to his feet slowly, here and there throwing in a stomp to the chest or a slow punch to the face.

 

As this takes place, Xstasy slowly gets to his feet, slowly pushing himself onto his knees, heavily dazed from the drop he took from the Exploder. However, he is in the worst possible position he could possibly be in against Linchpin, and all that Public Enemy Number One has to do as he rises is charge at X with a full head of steam, leaping at him, swinging his knee into the side of Xstasy head with an amazingly tremendous amount of force at the point of impact, producing a loudly audible, crowd-silencing-

 

 

“CAAAAH-RACK!”

 

 

Riley: 52!!!! 52 ON XSTASY! A beautiful Shining Wizard! That might be all she wrote for X!

 

Xstasy collapses to the ground, grabbing his head in pain while Linchpin makes his way toward the nativity scene, taking possesion of one of the blankets near it. He makes he way back to Xstasy, where he throws the blanket over X and rolls him over once to wrap him up in the blanket. Then, lifting him up into his arms, Linchpin carries him over to the pit and simply drops him in, the live crowd both booing as Xstasty falls in and cheering for Linchpin at the same time. When Xstasy hits the bottom, Funyon brings the mic up to his lips at ringside, announcing:

 

Funyon: Xstasy has been eliminated!

 

Riley: And the joy of X has been silenced tonight, with Xstasy the first elimination in this crazy-ass match, even after his offensive onslaught! I can only imagine how this will end!

 

Meanwhile, back on the stage, Crow drops Wildchild with two hard chops, a knee to the chest, and a snap suplex onto the stage, and now, as he rises, sees Linchpin as the only man standing. Determined not to let him get any advantage over him, Crow makes his way over to him, while at the same time, from the edge of the stage, a hurting Michael Craven climbs up onto it, using some production tables below as a stepping stool of sorts to give him the extra height needed to climb onto the stage. Slowly, he pulls himself up onto the stage, dragging his upper, then lower body onto it before he tries to push himself up, still dazed from the dropkick off the ramp from before. Regardless, Crow closes in on the recovering Linchpin, but a surprise boot to the gut from Linchpin cuts im off. He then grabs Crow in a front facelock, and stomping the metal grating, flips back, slamming him down with a snap suplex! Crow hits the stage, but Linchpin rolls over, and pulling Crow back up, whips him into a second snap suplex! Once more, Crow hits the stage, and Linchpin again rolls over, lifting Crow to his feet before he stomps the grating a third time and whips Crow back into a final snap suplex! Crow lies on his back after the suplexes, slowly trying to get to his feet, but before he can fully recover, Linchpin has him in his grasp, pulling him up by the head. With a smile across his face, Linchpin leads the Antichrist Superstar over to the backdrop, near one of the lights embedded in the gingerbread house backdrop. Letting out a cry, Linchpin shoves him forward, sending Crow’s head forward into the fixture-

 

 

“CRUNCH!”

 

 

Comet: OH! How gruesome! Crow’s head smashing right into that light fixture on the stage!

 

Riley: If you think that’s gruesome... just wait until Crow starts getting violent...

 

Linchpin smiles as he pulls Crow’s head back, driving it forward back towards the now shattered light for a second time, but Crow puts an arm up, blocking the move! Instead, he grabs Linchpin behind the head dand drives him forward into the shattered light!

 

 

“CRUNCH!”

 

 

Riley: OUCH! Linchpin goes had-first into that shattered light fixture! He’s gonna be bleeding pretty quickly!

 

Linchpin cries out in pain, the glass shards scraping across his forehead, some possibly imbedding themselves in it as Crow pulls his head back, not quite satisfied. He hungers for pain and suffering by his oppoennts, and is determined to meet the needs for this internal drive by any means possible. Still holding on to Linchpin, Crow uses his right leg to hook Linchpin’s left leg, and grabbing him acorss the back, leans forward before falling back, sweeping Linchpin off his feet with a Russian leg sweep! While those two fight it out, we focus on the two risen soldiers known as Wildchild and Craven, who remarkably, is not paralyzed after that dropkick. For the duration of the Crow/Linchpin battle, they have either been rising to their feet or brawling slower than a turtle swimming through molasses in January, exchanging right blow for right blow. Craven hits one, then Wildchild, then another by Craven, and another by Wildchild before the King of Nightmares gets fed up, and swinging his arm out, clotheslines Wildchild into the ground, dropping to his knees in the process as he is still hurting from the forementioned dropkick.

 

Comet: Wow, look at that Russian Leg Sweep! He hit him right in the orbital occipital protuberance!

 

Riley: Wha?

 

Comet: The back of the head...

 

Riley: Oh.

 

Linchpin grabs the back of his head as he slowly rises, but he suddenly feels someone envelop him from behind in a waistlock, and before he can do anything to counter it, he’s flying through the air, lifted up and released by Crow into a release German suplex! Linchpin lands hard on his head, but Craven, in the meanwhile, grabs hold of Wildchild, pulling him to his feet. Whatever plans he has suddenly disappear, as he gets booted in the gut, doubling-over long enough for Wildchild to place a leg on the back of Craven’s head and drop to the ground, guillotine leg-driving Craven face-first into the metal grating of the stage!

 

Comet: KICK, WHAM, CUTTER! A Caribbean Cutter to Michael Craven, and there’s not a thing he can do to stop it! Young Wildchild is just so quick with that move!

 

Riley: But just see how quick he is after one of the other two men get their hands on him! He won’t be so fast then!

 

Linchpin grabs his head, slowly trying to get to his feet, but slipping and staggering back, he cannot find a way to get to his feet, even as Crow sits up. Looking back over his shoulder, he sees Linchpin struggling and an opportunity to end his suffering. He waits, watching as Linchpin slowly begins to push himself up onto his feet before he charges, going for the kill on Linchpin. But Public Enemy Number One has a differnt idea, and he barely has time to thrust a leg out, delivering a powerful front kick to Crow’s face before pivoting around to land safely and catch his balance!

 

Riley: HOLY CRAP! Mafia Kick from Linchpin! He just about took Crow’s head off with that move!

 

Crow slams down into the stage, and remains there as Linchpin stands. He leans over for a second, trying to catch his breath, but then, looking back over his shoulder, sees the blankets next to the manger. Another one would do just fine at his moment. At a snail’s pace, Linchpin turns and makes his way past Wildchild and Craven to a blanket, which he graps, turning around and walking back to Crow with it.

 

Riley: He’s got a blanket! Crow might be done for!

 

Laying the blanket out flat, Linchpin grabs hold of Crow, sliding his head in between his legs. Then, reachig forward, Linchpin grabs him around the waist, lifting him straight up into the air!

 

Riley: Here it comes! Huge powerbomb from Linchpin-

 

But Crow grabs Linchpin by the head as he lifts him up, and pushing up, leapfrogs over him! Crow lands on his feet behind Linchpin, the aggressor quickly turning around, just as Crow turns himself, thrusting a foot directly into Linchpin’s face with tremendous force!

 

 

“CRACK!”

 

 

Linchpin drops like a rock after taking the roundhouse kick, and Crow drops to his knees, the Antichrist Superstar watching as Linchpin’s body falls right into the blanket.

 

Comet: WHOA! DAS WUNDERKICK FROM CROW! Linchpin is down! Linchpin is down on the blanket!

 

Crow looks down, seeing Linchpin on the blanket, and slowly, he reaches over, gabbing the edges and wrapping Public Enemy Number One in it, Linchpin perhaps out cold after the direct hit by that hard-ass kick. Meanwhile, Wildchild is getting to his feet, grabbing Craven by the head and pulling him up as well. Craven doesn’t seem all there, even as Wildchild jumps up onto his shoulders. However, as he tries to flip Craven back, The King of Nightmares seizes up, holding onto Wildchild, and in act, pulls him back up. He then staggers back, takes a few steps forward to correct and stabilize himself, and lets go without care...

 

 

 

...POWERBOMBINB WILDCHILD DOWN INTO THE PIT! We don’t hear a sound except for the jaws of 20,000-plus fans dropping to the ground and Michael Craven dropping down into a sitting position, looking down into the pit in a daze.

 

Riley: HOLY SHIT! Craven just powerbombed Wildchild into the pit! I don’t think he knows what he’s done!

 

Comet: I don’t believe it either! Poor Wildchild may be unconscious at the bottom of that pit!

 

As the crowd collectively gasps, Crow, dragging the newly wrapped-up Linchpin, gives a hard tug, and then a push, shoving Linchpin down into the pit with Wildchild and the already-eliminated Xstasy!

 

Riley: He got him! Crow got Linchpin!

 

Funyon: Linchpin has been eliminated!

 

The crowd cheers loudly for Crow’s feat as he slowly pushes himself to his feet. Craven slowly begins to push himself into his feet, but in doing so, bumps into Crow. This sets off the Antichrist Superstar, who grabs Craven around the arm, whipping him over into an arm drag! Craven slams into the stage, grabbing his back as he slowly gets to his feet, but he is grabbed by Crow, lifted up parallel to the stage, the dropped back-first into it with a side slam! Craven hits the stage again, crying out, but as Crow pushes himself back up to his feet, he slowly stagger-steps towards the curtain, moving through it and going backstage!

 

Riley: Crow just went backstage! What is he doing back there? This is very odd and confus-

 

But then, the crowd roars as Crow reappears, dragging behind him a cart, much like the ones found in mailrooms all over the world. Inside the cart, we can see something, but Crow reaches in, grabbing one of the many items inside. Pulling it out, the crowd goes nuts, as in Crow’s hands is a Singapore cane, tied with a bow on the handle and a note attached to it, reading “To Crow, From Santa”.

 

Riley: Oh no, oh no, oh no… Crow’s got a God damn cane!

 

Comet: Christmas has come early for Crow, and it’s a very hardcore one!

 

While Crow hoists the cane into the air, soliciting cheers and calls for ultra-violence, Michael Craven, grabbing his back, slowly rises to his feet. Crow spots him, and turning around, clutches tight the cane, stalking Craven as he gets to his feet, turning around just as Crow swings the came down at Craven!

 

 

“CRACK!”

 

 

The cane shot drops Craven right back down to the stage, Craven grabbing his head as he slowly tries to sit up, but Crow is there, and swinging downward again-

 

 

“CRACK!”

 

 

-Canes Craven in the head a second time, Bobby Riley beginning to hyperventilate and blow this out of proportion!

 

Riley: OH GOD! Two cane shots to Craven’s head! He’s defenseless! He can’t stop this maniac!

 

Again, The King of Nightmares drops to the mat, grabbing his head and crying in pain. Crow, though, reaches down, grabbing Craven around the head in a headlock before pulling him back up into a sitting position. Once there, he releases the headlock, but grabs Craven by the hair with one hand, placing the cane across Craven’s forehead with the other. Then, Crow begins to draw the cane back and forth across Craven’s forehead like a bow on violin strings, trying to dig the cane’s surface into Craven’s forehead and scrape it open!

 

Comet: The brutality! I have not seen such harsh punishment in quite some time!

 

Riley: Who does he think he is? A hardcore Yo Yo Ma?

 

Craven screams in pain, his eyes clenched in pain, but he reaches up, grabbing hold of Crow’s wrist, trying to pull himself free. With both hands on the wrist, Crow continuing to saw at Craven’s forehead like he’s playing Beethoven’s 5th, Craven twists it as hard as he can, attempting to break the wrist of Crow to free himself. Crow now cries out in pain, his wrist beginning to surge in pain, even as he draws the cane back and forth across Craven’s forehead, but finally, Craven wins out, Crow releasing his wrist, shaking it in pain as he holds it close to his body, Craven falling back before rolling onto his chest, grabbing his face in pain. Now angered, Crow jams his cane into the back of Craven’s neck, grinding it against his vertebrae. Craven screams in pain and rolls onto his back, but Crow rolls him over, jamming the cane back into Craven’s neck! The King of Nightmares screams while Crow tries to pulverize Mike’s neck with the weapon, only stopping when Craven rolls onto his back again. The Gulf Coast Hurricane knows he’s in pain, and he knows he’s fucked if he doesn’t do something to Crow, who grabs Craven by the head and pulls him up before he bends over and waistlocks Craven. Mike, though, stops the Antichrist Superstar, kneeing Crow in the chest and grabbing him arond the head before he lifts him up and falls back, reversing the northern lights suplex into an inverted DDT!

[Guest Suicide King]

Comet: Inverted DDT from Craven! Crow certainly got a present he wasn’t expecting!

 

Riley: Present? That’s more like getting coal in your stocking. I never had to deal with that, thank God.

 

Comet: No, you just had to deal with the “special” presents you got in your stocking...

 

The two men remain down for some time, both lying on the ground, trying to catch their breath, and as we all watch on, Michael Craven very slowly sits up. He looks like a zombie rising from the grave, his eyes half-open as he slips pushing himself up, but catches himself, once again pushing himself to his feet. Reaching his feet, he slowly rights himself, nearly falling over, but he catches himself and his balance. The crowd boos, Craven making his way over to the cart that Crow brought out, and reaching in, he grabs...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Tickle Me Elmo? Something’s not right here, and Craven looks very confused.

 

Comet: Zuh? What is that object doing in there, Robert? I thought those were a Christmas fad form a few years back!

 

Riley: That’s weird. Never knew the guy was a Sesame Street fan...

 

The King of Nightmare suspects all is not as it seems, and shaking the toy, he hears something, or in this case, some things, moving around inside of it. Turning the doll over, he unzips it in the back, letting the contents of its innards spill out...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thumbtacks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Glorious, golden, gleaming thumbtacks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Craven watches as they slip out of Elmo like sand through an hourglass, covering the floor in sharp metal objects, a grn growing upon his face while he sees Crow try to get to his feet.

 

Riley: Well, now THAT makes sense. Hide a dangerous weapon in a -

 

As the last of the tacks empty out of the toy, Craven throws it aside, grabbing the rising Crow with both hands and hoisting him into the air, with a loud cry, his muscles straining heavily, using his strength to lift Crow over his head! Suddenly, the fans know what’s coming next, and not surprisingly, Craven drops Crow onto his shoulder, then thorws himself forward, slamming Crow onto the tacks with the Goldberg variation of the gorilla press slam!

 

 

“THUD!”

 

 

Crow screams out as he slams into the tacks, his body seizing up, loking like he’s having a seizure as he quickly convulses, then dies down, his movements slowing while Craven views the carnage he has caused.

 

Comet: DEAR GOD! Michael Craven with the gorilla press slam onto the thumbtacks! What a heartless, lecherous villain he is! Damn him!

 

Riley: Well, what’d you expect? That Craven was going to take a leaping dive onto the thumbtacks himself?

 

Comet: Well...

 

Riley: I’m cutting you off right now, Comet. Not another word about one of your stupid theories.

 

Rising to his feet after the move, Craven slowly moves back towards the cart as Crow writhes in pain, the gothic warrior trying to get to his feet after the move, but unable to at the moment. Reaching back into the cart, Craven digs around until he finds his next weapon of choice...

 

Comet: It looks like Citizen Craven has found an X-Box...

 

Riley: Wait. Let me guess... it’s actually filled with C4 explosives?

 

Comet: Actually, they’re quite deadly on their own.

 

Looking at the X-Box, he seems repulsed by the neon green and black box, backing up with it, unsure of what to do with the system from Hell. Michael, though, hears the crowd cheering, knowing exactly why: someone’s getting up behind him. Turning around, he slams the gaming system down upon a slowly rising Crow’s head, shattering the casing and motherboard inside of it, saving the world from yet another one of the evil machines.

 

 

“CRUNCH!”

 

 

Way to go, Craven! *thumbs-up*

 

Riley: And now Craven with an X-Box shot to Crow’s head! That’s not the first time he’s broken an X-box over someone’s head, but it’s the first time in a long time since he’s done so! Either way, it was totally awesome!

 

As Riley finishes marking out like a schoolgirl at a Justin Timberlake concert, the dominating Craven reaches down grabs hold of Crow by the head, slowly dragging him back towards the pit, where he wil be wrapped neatly in a blanket and gingerly rolled into the pit, giving Craven the much-needed victory.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, right.

 

 

 

While Craven drags Crow towards that pit, Crow grabs him by the back of the legs and pulls them out from under him, tripping Craven up! Mike falls forward and lands on his bloodied face, grabbing it while he and Crow slowly try their best to get to their feet, slipping and stalling all along the way.

 

Comet: But Citizen Crow has just tripped Citizen Craven up, perhaps stealing defeat from the jaws of victory for Craven!

 

Riley: Stop with the confusing jargon, Comet. You’re hurting the viewer’s brains.

 

As the two get to their feet, trying to gain a foothold, Crow drops back down, but grabs Craven around the ankles, trupping him head-first into one of the candy-glass windows with a drop toe hold!

 

Even though candy-glass doesn’t hurt, hitting your head on the solid window pane below sure does.

 

Craven’s head bounces off the pane, causing him to fall onto his back, rolling in painwhile he grabs his once-again hit face. There’s a small blood smear from where Craven’s forehead hit the window pain, and candy-glass is all over the place, but Crow doesn’t care. In fact, he slowly tries to get to his feet, sliding himself closer and closer to the cart while doing so.

 

Riley: Oh, come on! The King of Nightmares gets illegaly tripped through a glass window, and no one makes a deal about it?

 

Comet: It’s candy-glass, and it’s legal, remember?

 

Riley: So what? Crow’s a little cheater none the less!

 

Comet: But Crow’s headed back for that cart! What plans does he have now?!?!

 

Reaching up as he slides himself to the cart, Crow grabs it, using it as leverage as he pulls himself to his feet. The crowd cheers loudly as he ascends, but at the same time, reaches into the cart, remvoing two glass light tubes. However... he stops, as if something else is missing from his cart. He had three light tubes in there before, but now, he only has two. He looks to Craven first, but doesn’t see it there. Then, he looks back to the cart, where he sees no more light tubes. Needing another light tube, Crow looks over his shoulder, spotting a perfect replacement.

 

 

Remember how there was mention a long time ago of those waist-high, illuminated glass candy canes on the stage?

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah. You guessed it.

 

 

 

With two light tubes tucked under an arm, Crow staggers over to the closest glass candy cane, and grabbing hold of it, begins to pull on it, trying to pull it form its foundation. Having never meant to be used as a weapon, the glass decorations were loosely fitted into holes, held in by a few cheap screws, and now, those screws pop up, and the candy cane is free!

 

Riley: Look at that! He’s vandalizing the set! Those glass candy cane lights cost Mark Stevens a lot of money to import from Taiwan!

 

Comet: Are you sure he didn’t just go to the local hardware store and pick them up?

 

Riley: I was there when they were delivered, you moron! Of course he didn’t buy them on sale for only $4.99 at The Home Depot!

 

The crowd pops like mad while Crow makes his way back to Craven with the glass implements of destruction, laying them across his chest before he backs off, giving space between himself and Craven.

 

Riley: Wait, he’s not going to-

 

Comet: He is! And Craven’s about to feel the pain!

 

Taking off, Crow charges at Craven, but leaps over him, instead jumping up onto the window pane of the broken window before he flips back, the crowd rising to their feet, camerabulbs flashing as Crow slams chest-first on top of the glass and Craven’s chest!

 

 

 

“CAAAAAAHHHH-RUNCH!!!!”

 

 

 

Riley: DEAR GOD! Asai moonsault onto those light tubes on Craven! How sickening! I don’t know if Craven can survive much more of this!

 

Craven rolls onto his back, grabbing his chest, crying out in pain, but his cries die down several second later as both he and Crow stay down for a little while trying to regain their composures before they try to get to their feet.

 

Comet: An amazing use of the set by Citizen Crow, leaving Citizen Craven in tremendous pain!

 

Riley: Craven just may have gotten murdered by Crow! Ha! Get it?

 

Comet: Get what?

 

Riley: The joke!

 

Comet: What joke?

 

Riley: A bunch of crows is a murder, and I said that Craven just got murdered! Get it now?

 

Comet: You’re not very funny, Robert. I suggest you just do the job that suits you best.

 

While he slowly rises like the sun, Craven grabs his chest in severe pain, even as the rising Crow draws his arm back before he swings it out at Mike...

 

“SLAP!”

 

...resulting in a hard chop across Craven’s chest!

 

Crowd: WOOOOOO!

 

Craven staggers back a little, grabbing his chest and crying out loudly in pain, but Crow draws his arm back, swinging it into Craven’s chest...

 

“SLAP!”

 

...resulting in a second hard chop across Craven’s chest!

 

Crowd: WOOOOOO!

 

Craven staggers back, grabbing his chest again, but Crow drills him hard in the chest with a knee that drops him down next to the manger, clutching his ribs in pain!

 

Riley: Crow going to work on those now-hurting ribs of Michael Craven! Mike’s in pain, but I know he’ll make it through all right! I hope...

 

As Crow reaches down to grab Craven, though, The King of Nightmares fumbles around with a hand, but clutches an object in his hand and swings it up at Crow! The object, which is the statue of Mary from the manger, shatters in Crow’s face, Crow staggering back as he grabs his face, stunned while Craven trying to push himself onto his knees.

 

Comet: HOLY MOTHER OF THOTH! Craven just hit Crow in the face with the Virgin Mary! This man is a villainous demon from Hell!

 

Riley: And there’s a problem with that, Comet?

 

Crow grabs his face while Craven begins ascending, staggering forward a few steps as he shakes off the effects of the face shot. It is at this time Craven moves, sliding him onto his shoulders! Craven holds the Antichrist Superstar for a second before he leans to the side and helicopter spins him, dropping him down into a stunner as he nails his secondary finishing move in the SWF, the Gulf Coast Crunch!

 

Riley: GULF COAST CRUNCH! CROW IS DOWN! Craven’s got a shot of winning!

 

Crow’s head bounces off Craven’s shoulder, and the King of Nightmares catches himself as Crow lands on his back, the crowd booing while Craven, exhausted, tries to push himself to his feet. He looks around, trying to find something to grab on to, and grabbing a hold of something, opens his eyes to see that it is a blanket! Turning his head back to Crow, he grabs the blanket and drapes it over the fallen goth, then rolls him once to wrap him up, and two more times before giving him a final shove into the pit below!

 

Funyon: Crow has been eliminated!

 

Riley: Did you hear that? Crow has been eliminated! Craven’s got this one won!

 

Comet: But where’s Wildchild?

 

Riley: He’s at the bottom of that pit, duh! Didn’t you see Craven powerbomb him into that?

 

His legs trembling from exhaustion as he rises to his feet, Michael Craven is unable to see the mess he has created, blood and sweat intermingling and dripping into his eyes. The combination blinds him, and so he reaches out, grabbing hold of a blanket and using it to wipe the liquids from his face. However, as he does, he hears the crowd roar to life, feels something hit in the back, throwing him forward, and then someone try to twrap him in the blankey, Craven struggling to break free as a pissed-off Wildchild, who dragged himself out of the pit just before the moonsault by Crow and slid out of view. Wildchild tries to keep him down, but Craven throws him off top of him, sitting back up with a startle as Wildchild hits the ground! The crowd is absolutely ecstatic right now as Craven tries to push himself ot his feet,Wildchild slowly getting to his feet before he jumps into the air, flipping forward and thrusting his legs out, nailing Craven with a shooting star missile dropkick! The King of Nightmares goes down and rolls, rolling off the stage and down onto one of the production tables at ringside he climbed back up onto a while back.

 

Comet: It’s Wildchild! He’s back, and he’s going after Craven!

 

Riley: How is this possible?!?! You saw him get powerbombed into the pit, didn’t you?

 

Comet: He’s obviously recovered the best he can from it, and now, he’s taking the fight to a weakened Craven!

 

Getting to his feet, Wildchild staggers back, but sees Craven below as he gets to his feet, formulating a risky plan that could severely hurt him, but would put Craven away for good if he hit it.

 

Moving towards the ramp, Wildchild backs up, and then suddenly, takes off, running near the edge of the stage towards Craven’s body!

 

Riley: No... he isn’t going to...

 

Comet: But indeed he is, Robert! Wildchild is going to fly!

 

Wildchild does indeed leap off the stage at Mike, flipping partially forward as he plummets down towards Craven into a swanton bomb, risking it all and putting his life on the line once again, falling faster and faster, aimed directly at the King of Nightmares!

 

Riley: LOOK OUT!!!!

 

 

 

“CRUNCH!”

 

The table splinters as both men fall through it, slamming into the goprund and remianing there as their bodies spill across the cold, hard cement floor of the arena in a moment that will be lived out in replays, tapes, and memories for years to come.

 

Crowd: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!

 

Comet: ANDROS DIVE OFF THE STAGE ON TO CRAVEN! That is the most spectacular, athletic, death-defying risk I have ever seen in this federation! Wildchild and Craven may both be out, and we may indeed not have a winner to his match!

 

Riley: I would not disagree with you after that, Comet! Wildchild just threw caution to the wind and threw himself into Craven! they’re both still down!

 

Riley is correct, because both Craven and Wildchild are down, neither man moving, and the crowd’s chants and cheers begin to quiet down, reality once again settling in on the fans while the two remain motionless, neither man moving still. Concern begins to spread across the fans in the arena, and in the voice of Bobby Riley, a man who usually feels no remorse.

 

Riley: Laides and gentlemen, Wildchild and Michael Craven are still not moving, and at this moment, I’m not sure if they will any time soon. Wildchild, of course, just took a huge Andros Dive off the stage and onto Craven, a huge risk. This took out both men, and neither are-wait as second!

 

Suddenly, the crowd roars to life as Wildchild twitches at first, then Craven, but Wildchild, slowly begins to push himself up, in obvious pain form the huge drop!

 

Riley: I... I... I don’t believe it! Both men are moving, and Wildchild is starting to get to his feet! This is a Christmas miracle, folks! Wildchild doesn’t seem to be seriously hurt, and Craven’s moving both his legs and arms, so it doesn’t look like he’s paralyzed!

 

Comet: These two men have super-strength! I cannot believe that after a move like that, these two are not being carried off on stretchers!

 

Wildchild begins to push himself to his feet, seeming a bit wobbly as Craven slowly rolls out from the rubble of the table towards Wildchild, trying to push himself up. Dub-Cee, though, reaches down, and pulling Craven to his feet slowly, gives him the old heave-ho over the ringside barrier, sending him into the crowd!

 

Riley: This is even more amazing! First, that move, and now, they’re both up and fighting into the crowd!

 

As he hops over the barrier, Wildchild bends down and grabs Craven by the head, pulling him up to his feet, but Craven grabs him by the back of the head, and sitting out, slams him down into a sitdown jawbreaker! Releasing Wildchild, he bounces onto his back, Craven beginning to push himself onto his feet where he stands, motioning for the larger Wildchild to rise to his feet. Slowly, Dub-Cee sits up, shaking off the effects of the jawbreaker as he begins to push himself off the ground, but Craven closes in quickly, sending Wildchild back down with a hard forearm smash! Wildchild hits the ground, slowly rising back to his feet, but Craven charges at him with a full head of steam! The Caribbean Cruiserweight, though, leaps into the air, leapfrogging over Craven! But that’s not all, as when Craven passes under him, Wildchild thrusts his legs out, backflip kicking Mike in the back of the head! While Mike falls forward from the kick, Wildchild hits the ground and rolls to his feet, the crowd surrounding the two cheering loudly, trying to reach out and touch Dub-Cee, but security holds them back as Wildchild and Craven get to their feet, The King of Nightmares in serious trouble, seeming like he’s sleepwalking as he rises to his feet.

 

But as Craven gets to his feet, Wildchild leaps up onto his chest, hooks his hands behind Craven’s head, throwing Craven back through the air in monkey flip fashion! Craven flies through the air, lands hard on his back, and sits up in pain, slowly trying to get to his feet while the crowd goes wild for Dub-Cee, but as he does, a risen Wildchild charges at Craven on his knees, leaping into the air and flipping over him, grabbing his head as he flies over before slamming it into the ground with a flipping neck snap!

 

Comet: First the Freefall, then the Whiplash after that! A one-two combination knocks the King of Nightmares to the ground, Wildchild firmly in control of this match!

 

Craven grabs his head while Wildchild slowly gets to his feet, grabbing Craven and with a quick tug of the hand, whips him over the barrier! Craven lands back near the stage, Wildchild backing up into the crowd and allowing him the time to get up. Craven tries to shake off the effects of the moves Wildchild hit him with, but in doing so, leaves himself open to attack. It’s at this time that Wildchild charges, sprinting forward before he leaps onto the ring barrier and off at Craven trying to take Craven down, but the Gulf Coast Hurricane catches him around the waist, and falling back, lifts him into the air and releases him, causing him to fly through the air and come down hard into a release overhead belly-to-belly suplex!

 

Riley: This match is simply nuts! Wildchild was just in control, but Craven just belly-to-belly suplexed him! The best I can describe this is nothing but Christmas chaos!

 

Comet: Much like the title of the Mick Foley children’s novel!

 

Riley: No, not like that God damn book, Comet. There’s no pervert illustrating this match.

 

Comet: But there is one commentating on it!

 

Riley: HEY!

 

Like a giant tortoise trying to move, Craven slowly ascends to his feet, staggering over to Wildchild. Bending over, he grabs him, dragging him behidn him as he moves back towards the other remaining production table. Climbing up oto it with Wildchild, he uses it as a stepping stool to place Wildchild up onto the stage again, then grabs hold, and much like before, slowly slides his upper body, then lower body onto the stage, taking the action back near the pit. Pushing himself to his feet, Michael Craven reaches down, grabbing Wildchild and dragging him again, but this time, Wildchild tries to get loose. Craven stomps him in the side, then drags him slowly towards the set. Another stomp keeps Wildchild down as Craven grabs the decorative Christmas lights, ripping them off the set to wrap them around Wildchild’s neck, tightening it into a choking noose around the Human Hurricane!

 

Riley: Brilliant use of the Christmas lights by Michael Craven, chokig Wildchild with them! Make him blackout!

 

Comet: Weren’t you just complainng about Crow “destroying” the set?

 

Riley: Well, if Crow can destroy the set, then why can’t Craven?

 

As Craven finishes choking Wildchild on the lights, he looks over at the manger, and spots the smallest of the figurines: Baby Jesus. A smile begins to curl from behind the face that is covered in blood again. He makes his way over to the manger and grabs Baby Jesus, placing it down on the ground. If he’s going to win... then why not have some fun doing it?

 

Riley: This is quite peculiar...

 

Comet: He wouldn’t dare...

 

Wildchild, who has freed himself from the lights, begins to get up, but Craven ducks down, grabbing hold of and sliding Wildchild onto his shoulders. He then swings him over his right shoulder, head lodging between Mike’s legs as Craven jumps in the air before he sits down, dropping The Bahaman Bomber head first with a Samoan driver into the replica of the Messiah!

 

Riley: HOLY COW!!! CRAVEN DRIVER!

 

“CRACK!” A thunderous sound echoes through the arena as the Baby Jesus figure shatters, Wildchild’s head driving into the stage, the crowd standing there in awe of the whole thing for a second or two while Comet explodes.

 

Comet: THIS IS BLASPHEMY! HERESY, I TELL YOU! CRAVEN HAS JUST DEFILED THE MOST SACRED OF ALL CHRISTMAS THINGS! HE HAS DESTROYED THE BABY JESUS WITHOUT REMORSE! THE SOUL OF SATAN LIVES INSIDE THAT PERPETRAITOR, AND HE WILL FEEL THE COLD, HARD TASTE OF REVENGE!

 

Riley: Calm down, it’s just a figurine-

 

Comet: NO! A GREAT INJUSTICE HAS BEEN DONE, AND IT MUST BE EQUALIZED BY THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN... CYCLOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE COMET!

 

Riley: Don’t make me get the harness, Comet, because if I have to tie your ass down to the table again, I will!

 

The crowd erupts into boos as Craven falls back, near the point of exhaustion in this match from the beatings he’s taken and given out, but this match isn’t over yet. Slowly sitting up after the exhausting move, Michael Craven tries to recover from all he has done, looking like he’s in a catatonic state in the process. Slowly he begins to push himself up, looking for a blanket to wrap Wildchild in during the process. All the ones behid the manger have been exhausted, but there is one in front of the pit: the bloodied one he had dropped before. Staggering over to it, he tripsd and falls flat on his face, forcing him to have to push himself up again. He makes it a few more feet before he falls again, exhaustion setting in, the energy reserves depleting themselves as he pushes himself up a second time. Staggering a few more feet, he falls down again and this time lands on the blanket, clenching it in his hand. Smiling, he slowly begins to psh himself up, slipping once in doing so, but he fianlly gets there, just about ready to put this one in the books!

 

Riley: He’s got it! Craven’s got the blanket! all he’s got to do is cover Wildchild, and this match is over!

 

Comet: Until one of these men is covered up in a blanket and in that pit, this match is not over!

 

Riley: Oh, you’d better believe this one is over! Wildchild’s done for now that Craven has the blanket!

 

Now with the blanket in hand, Craven turns around and staggers, going to look for Wildchild-

 

 

“THWACK!”

 

 

-But a half standing and desperate Wildchild finds him, nailing Michael Craven quickly with a shuffling sidekick! The blow knocks Craven off his feet and onto his back, but Wildchild falls back as well, right on the edge of the pit!

 

Riley: HOW THE HELL-

 

Comet: Now what were you saying about this one being over?

 

Riley: but he... he got Craven Drivered onto Baby Jesus! He should be out cold!

 

Comet: Citizen Craven took too long in getting the blanket, pure and simple. He fell twice trying to get over there and spent way too much time tryig to get to his feet, and now, he may pay for it!

 

As Wildchild slowly gets to his feet after the kick, grabbing the blanket, the crowd roaring with approval, he looks around, trying to find the King of Nightmares, but as he looks to where he kicked him, he finds Craven charging at him, bent over, and in seconds, Wildchild ha sbeen collected on Craven’s shoulder with a fierce spear!

 

 

“WHAM!!!”

 

 

The two fly through the air, momentum sending them soaring over the pit, right through-

 

 

 

“CRUNCH!”

 

 

 

The manger. The festive decoration is DESTROYED as the two men hit it, pieces flying everywhere, figurines, both whole and partial, scattering across in the stage, leaving a massive debris field while the two men hit the stage and come to a sudden stop, neither moving.

 

Riley: GORE!!! GORE!!!! CRAVEN WITH A SURPRISE GORE ON WILDCHILD!!! HE’S PRACTICALLY SNAPPED HIM IN TWO AND

DESTROYED THE MANGER!!!

 

Comet: AND HE’S DESTROYED A SACRILIGEOUS ITEM! He has no respect for the customs, and therefore, the rights of a people!

 

Riley: Shut it, Comet! No one gives a crap about your crazy superhero jargon! This is a wrestling match, not a comic book!

 

As the crowd collectively gasps, sitting there in stunned silence, a very weak Michael Craven grabs the blanket Wildchild had, a blanket now stined with blood and covered in wooden shards from the manger, raping it over Wildchild’s body the best he can. Then Craven, pushing the covered-up Wildchild over to wrap him up, gives a hard push, and then one final push from behind, shoving Wildchild down into the pit with the other three men before he collapses onto the stage!

 

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

 

Riley: HE DID IT! Craven won! He’s finally got a shot at the World Title! Take that, Mark Stevens!

 

Funyon: The winner of this match... MICHAEL CRAAAAAAVENNNNNNNN!!!

 

Referee Matthew Kivell, who has been watching the proceedings, tries to help Craven to his feet and lift Craven’s arm into the air to signal his victory, the crowd booing loudly as a few empty beer cans and popcorn bags fly into the ring. The EMT crew from backstage is already on their way down the pit as the ref releases Craven’s arm, The King of Nightmare falling back down, unable to stand after the hellacious match.

 

Comet: This is horrible! I cannot believe this has happened! Evil has come out over good when it should not have!

 

The EMTs reach the chaos and split up evenly among the five men, Wildchild clutching his ribs after the massive gore. But Craven does not go unscathed, as his face and chest are cut up severely, and underneath the blood, his face is red, Craven running short on breath.

 

Riley: Oh, hush, Comet. Craven won, and you’re just jealous.

 

Comet: I most certainly am not! I demand that this match be re-started!

 

Riley: You’re crazy! I’ll deal with you later. But up next, we’ve got MORE hardcore action, with the Hardcore Gamers title on the line! Va’aiga versus Terrence Bailey in a Bledisoe Cup Streetfight... next!!!

[Guest Suicide King]

SWF TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

BLEDISLOE CUP STREET FIGHT!

TERRENCE "JANUS" BAILEY VS VA'AIGA!

THE HARDCORE GAMERS TITLE ON THE LINE!

 

----

 

We're back on air in three.

 

Two.

 

One.

 

It's Christmas time again

It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year

I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare me, please stay away from my home

If you don't wanna get beat down

Just leave the presents and let me be alone!

 

Blink 182's "Won't Be Home For Christmas" rings through the arena as the show comes back on the air! Christmas decor litters the arena as expected - from candy cane supports to fake snow on the stage to holly wrapped around the Smarktron! The camera pans up to see mistletoe hanging from the rafters, and then begins a familiar pirouette around the ring to catch the screaming fans! As always, the arena is packed from ringside to rafters, complete with Christmas-themed signs. From "Happy Holidays, Mr Flesher!" to "I Want Crow For Christmas!" to "Va'aiga's Been Naughty, Not Nice" the signs are a laugh and a half. As we look around the ring at the signs and the fans, and begin our pirouette towards the announcer's table, we pirouette down towards the announcer table.

 

"Welcome back to SWF Twas The Fight Before Christmas fans and citizens! I'm your favourite superhero CYCLOOOOOONE COMET! And this is Citizen Riley..."

 

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Riley does his best to look happy.

 

"Very convicing, Robert. Anyway, we've had some incredible matches already tonight, but this next one will most likely be the most brutal! Citizen Va'aiga and Citizen Bailey clash in the name of hatred, revenge..."

 

"AND a shot at Terrence's recently won Hardcore Gamers title! I'm sure he'll drop it to the better man..."

 

"I doubt Citizen Va'aiga is a better man, Citizen Riley. Citizen Bailey managed to defeat SWF hardcore legend Wildchild for that belt, and I don't think he'll let it go."

 

As the commentators banter, the camera pulls away to a sky view of the arena, and the screen goes completely black. Across it, flashes ominous white text.

 

One Will Stand.

 

A clip of Va'aiga leaning over a fallen Dace Night and screaming appears. It fades out to.

 

One Will Fall.

 

A shot of Terrence lifting the Equalizer above his head, preparing to hit someone appears. It fades out to an ominous greyscale image of the Maori Badass and the Anti-Heel Machine standing nose to nose, a piece of photographic artwork which is overlaid with the match name - in seriously bright Christmas colours.

 

Bledisloe Cup Street Fight

 

Then the screen lights up again, showing that same sky view of the arena as before, except this time, a flash screen comes up. With the name of the match sitting at the top of the screen, it's split down the middle. On the left hand side is the Maori Badass, Va'aiga, with his arms flexing above his head as he glares at the viewers.

 

[NAME: Va'aiga

HEIGHT: 6'8

WEIGHT: 309lbs

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Former SWF Tag Team Champion (with Dace Night)

Former Hardcore Gamers Champion.]

 

And on the right side of the screen is the Anti-Heel Machine, the man known as Terrence "Janus" Bailey, arms crossed over his chest as he looks calmly at the viewers, a sense of strength about him.

 

[NAME: Terrence "Janus" Bailey

HEIGHT: 7'2

WEIGHT: 360 Pounds

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Hardcore Gamers Champion x3 (Current)]

 

"Citizen Bailey seems to hold the advantage - that is, being bigger and heavier, as well as having a reputation in the Hardcore division."

 

"Pfft. He's a pussy compared to Va'aiga. He didn't even brutalise Wildchild last week!"

 

The camera switches to the Smarktron, which shows the streets of Columbus Ohio, right outside the Nationwide Arena! Thankfully it's not snowing at the moment, but an already thick layer of the white stuff from previous snowfalls covers most of the ground. Obviously cold despite the warm winter suit he's wearing, Funyon gives a wave to the camera, standing next to referee Sexton Hardcastle, before speaking into his microphone. In the arena, his voice booms from the speakers, overshadowed by the sound of a familiar song that booms from the speakers outside the arena.

 

"WHAT'S MY NAME!?"

 

Ka mate, Ka mate! Ka ora, Ka ora!

Ka mate, Ka mate! Ka ora, Ka ora!

Tenei te tangata puhuruhuru

Nana i tiki mai whakawhiti te ra!

A hupane, kaupane

A hupane, kaupane whiti te ra!

Hi!

 

"The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall, and is a BLEDISLOE CUP STREET FIGHT! Introducing first, from New Ze...Rotorua, Aotearoa! He is the MAORI BADASS....VA'AIGA!"

 

Specially configured lights set up outside the arena strobe red as the Maori Badass storms out of the lobby, looking ready to just level Funyon. Despite the area in the front of the arena being clear, people slow their cars to watch this odd spectacle. Glaring at the announcer, the only thing that stops Va'aiga is an unfamiliar song trailing out over the speakers. Soft instrumental music precedes a computerised voice.

 

Twenty seconds and counting...t-minus fifteen seconds, guidance is okay...

 

The lights around the arena, inside and out, dim as if there's a power failure. The instrumental music continues building up slowly and ominously. There's a sound like a crack of lightning, and the music fades away into a song that many do not recognise, as the words rip out of the speakers!

 

I am the master of my destiny!

But the man in the mirror I see, cannot be me!

Seems just like yesterday, my life lay before me!

But now I am reaching the edge! What have I done?

 

*BABOOM!*

 

The sound of an explosion makes everyone jump, as lightning explodes on the stage inside the arena! Outside, the lights flash blindingly bright, and then recognition of the song begins to filter in. For one time only, back for this Pay Per View...is Dreamsfear's "As Darkness Falls"

 

My life is passing me by!

Seems like I'm ready to die!

I want to stand in the light!

AS DARKNESS FALLS!

 

"And his opponent from Sydney Australia! Welcome the current Hardcore Gamers Champion...the Anti-Heel Machine.....TERRRRRENCE "JAAAAANUS" BAAAAILLLEEEEEEY!"

 

The seven foot giant stalks out of the lobby, minus his trenchcoat as he crackles the knuckles of his right hand. Va'aiga sneers at him and yells something in Maori, and gets in return a cold and hard stare. And something unique, that both the referee and the announcers notice. Now that his duties are done, Funyon scuttles back in doors as the announcers proceed with their announcing.

 

"Is Citizen Bailey wearing a contact lens, Robert?"

 

"Looks like it, Riley...one red eye, one green eye.....now THAT is creepy."

 

Sexton Hardcastle explains the rules quickly as the two giants stand staring at each other. No disqualification, no countout, and the only way to win is pinfall or submission anywhere. He looks at each of the two big men, and steps back so he's no longer between them. Tenseness is visible in both the body of the Anti-Heel Machine and the Maori Badass, like a dog on a leash straining to be let free. And then the sound coming through the speakers that breaks said leash.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

The two men collide like a pair of bulls, locking hands in a test of strength! It doesn't take long to see who's the stronger man, as Terrence begins to force Va'aiga back until the Maori Badass drives a knee into the Anti-Heel Machine's abdomen. Staggered, the bigger man releases the test of strength only to have one of his arms grabbed - and he's irish whipped by the Maori Badass! Sent running along the path, the seven footer skids to a stop on the wet pavement before the curb as passing people scream in surprise. Terrence turns around, only to have the three hundred and six pound Maori slam into his stomach with a shoulder tackle, ramming him back into the side door of a parked car! The metal buckles at the impact, and the window has spidercracks running through it.

 

Clutching his spine, Terrence stumbles away from the car, only to be grabbed by Va'aiga! The glass in the side window cracks as the Maori Badass rams the Anti-Heel Machine back into it, before rearing back with a fist and slamming a left hook into the giant's jaw! Not satisfied with just one left hook, Va'aiga nails not one more, but two more. He then rears back with his right hand and kisses the fist in preparation for a big right hook, swinging the fist forward...

 

...and staring as Terrence catches it in his left hand! Blocking the final blow, the Anti-Heel Machine sends his right arm forward at full power, snapping Va'aiga's head back with his patented Knuckle Bomb! Sent reeling but otherwise unhurt, the Maori Badass staggers back and shakes his head as Terrence pivots on his heels. Spinning himself around, the seven foot Australian slams a beautiful rolling lariat into the forehead of Va'aiga, knocking the Maori Badass to the pavement.

 

"A startling open to the match, and Terrence looks to be hurt already, Robert!" Comet cries.

 

"Va'aiga has the brutality advantage, regardless of all those title reigns!" Riley responds cheerfully.

 

The half-smile on the Anti-Heel Machine's face fades almost instantly as Va'aiga sits up after the lariat and sneers. Stepping forward towards the rising Maori, Terrence rears his head back and brings it forward into the forehead of Va'aiga with a headbutt! To the crowd's shock, the Maori Badass ignores the skull-cracking move and swings his head forward for a headbutt of his own, slamming it into Terrence's face and sending the Anti-Heel Machine stumbling back yet again. Charging forward across the intervening space, Va'aiga hooks his arm over the Australian's chest and kicks out one leg...and CRACKS the Hardcore Gamers Champion's skull into the concrete with a vicious looking STO! Crying out in obvious pain, Terrence grabs the back of his skull and writhes in agony. Looming over the fallen Anti-Heel Machine, Va'aiga sneers down at him before stalking off, in search of a weapon perhaps.

 

"Where's Citizen Va'aiga going, Robert?"

 

"This match is a street fight, superhero...he can go anywhere, USE anything..."

 

As Terrence slowly sits himself up and holds the back of his head, he sees the Maori Badass storming down the pavement, pushing people out of the way. Lifting himself up, the Anti-Heel Machine follows at a slower and more cautious pace while trying to shake the fogginess from his head. Following his opponent, he watches Va'aiga turn a corner and when the giant steps around said corner, his opponent is nowhere in sight. Pausing at the large window of a music store, Terrence peers through to see if he can spot his foe - and instead sees an ominous reflection looming behind him in the glass. A hard boot of the Maori Badass slams into the back of his head, making his face bounce off the window. Grabbing the Anti-Heel Machine by the waist, Va'aiga turns them both around and tenses his body, preparing to german suplex the Hardcore Gamers champion through the window. A trio of well placed elbow smashes to the Maori's temple stop that move, and Terrence swings himself around into a rear waistlock of his own...

 

...pops his hips...

 

...and the sound of shattering glass fills the air as the Anti-Heel Machine executes a NASTY released german suplex through the window! A burglar alarm goes off as the Maori Badass sprawls in the window display, gasping for air. Not giving a moment's respite, the sevne foot Australian climbs through the broken window and sits on Va'aiga's chest, raining punches into his opponent's face! Stopping after about twenty hard and brain-rattling blows, the big man climbs off the Maori Badass and pulls him out of the window and up over one shoulder. Whatever move he was planning - most likely a high angle spinebuster - does not come to fruitition as Va'aiga slams an elbow into the back of the Anti-Heel Machine's head and drops to the pavement! Wrapping his arms around the seven footer's waist again, the Maori Badass lifts Terrence up and slams him down firmly on the concrete with a side belly-to-belly suplex.

 

"Neither man has gone for a pin yet, Citizen Riley...why do you think that is?"

 

"Terrence is a pussy and Va'aiga wants to hurt him." Riley sneers.

 

"I'd think it were the reverse.."

 

Dragging Terrence to his feet, the Maori Badass grins in his face and screams "WHAT'S MY NAME!" before hooking an arm and whipping the Anti-Heel Machine straight off the pavement, sending him stumbling onto the road! The sounds of honking horns and skidding cars fills the air, and Va'aiga smiles at the carnage except for one thing. Standing on the road and catching his breath, his seven foot tall Australian foe has avoided any sort of damage! With a roar, the Maori Badass charges out onto the road, and amid the sea of stopped cars the brawl resumes! Punches are exchanged between both men, and Va'aiga grabs Terrence by the head and bounces it off the hood of a car! The Anti-Heel Machine returns the favour by grabbing the Maori Badass by the arm and irish whipping him gut first into the grill of another car! As drivers begin to pile out of their cars in fear of the two giants, Terrence slaps a hand around the throat of Va'aiga and prepares to lift him up for a chokeslam. Unfortunately the Maori Badass has other ideas and kicks the seven footer HARD in the groin, doubling him over into a standing headscissors.

 

"That was a low blow, Robert! And what the heck is Citizen Va'aiga doing now?"

 

"Something unpleasant, Comet..." Riley grins like a shark.

 

"Oh, this isn't going to be good. Ruining shopfronts, stopping traffic...now evil brutality..." Comet moans.

 

Lifting all three hundred and sixty pounds of Anti-Heel Machine up on his shoulders, the Maori Badass screams something and then release powerbombs the giant into the hood of one of the cars! The crowd 'oooooooo's in sympathy as Terrence sprawls on the vehicle with a grimace on his face, as Va'aiga lets out a Maori insult and climbs up onto the hood of the vehicle, dragging Terrence back up to his feet. The car creaks under the combined weight of the two men, as Va'aiga screams in the Anti-Heel Machine's face again. Grabbing the giant by the side and leg, the Maori Badass prepares to execute a standing flapjack through the windshield of the car...

 

...but Terrence jams a knee into Va'aiga's groin as the arena crowd cheers! Doubling over in surprise, the Maori finds himself hoisted up onto the Anti-Heel Machine's shoulders before the seven footer takes a deep breath and SITOUT POWERBOMBS VA'AIGA THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD! Glass shatters, metal bends, and Va'aiga yells in agonised pain as the giant not only delivers the move, but stands up again! With a grunt of exertion, the Anti-Heel Machine staggers back, pulling Va'aiga back up onto his shoulders, turning around, and nailing a SECOND sitout powerbomb off the car and onto the asphalt! The crunch of flesh and bone on solid ground makes everyone wince, as the giant holds on for the pinfall.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....KICKOUT!!!

 

"An unnatural show of strength and destructive force by Citizen Bailey results in the first pinfall of the match, and it very nearly gets it!" Comet shills.

 

"Va'aiga is tougher than Terrence will ever be, Comet. Though I DO comment the big Aussie pansy for such a nasty move."

 

Releasing his sitout powerbomb, the Anti-Heel Machine climbs upright and pops his shoulders and shakes some feeling back into his arms after exerting so much force. Va'aiga sprawls on the ground, grimacing in pain, blood staining the wet asphalt where the Maori Badass's head had met first the windshield, and then the ground. Showing no respite, Terrence drags Va'aiga upright and locks on a side headlock, dragging the Maori off the street so traffic can at least try to resume. Slamming a few fists into his opponent's forehead, Terrence turns the side headlock into a front facelock as they reach the pavement, and begins heaving Va'aiga up into the air for a massive vertical suplex...

 

...that the brutalised Maori Badass turns around in, dropping with a thud to his feet behind the Anti-Heel Machine. Pained and pissed off, Va'aiga rears his fists back and slams two hard punches into Terrence's face, then a hard boot to the stomach! Stepping to the Australian's right, Va'aiga hooks the giant's right arm and left leg, lets out a roar of rage as he lifts the big man off the ground and delivers a massive EXPLODER SUPLEX RIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW OF A GENERAL STORE! The sound of shattering glass is echoed by the cry of pain from Terrence Bailey as he is sliced up by the glass, and he crashes down on a tiled floor, rolling to a stop against a shelf of Doritos. Entering through the door, Va'aiga holds the back of his head and sneers at the battered and bleeding body of the Hardcore Gamers' Champion. As people scream and flee the scene, neither of the wrestlers move from their positions, either too busy looking smug or too busy writhing in pain. Shaking his head, Terrence grimaces and tries to rise, as the Maori Badass extends an arm and smiles viciously, charging. Lifting his head, the Anti-Heel Machine sees the decapitating Lariat coming his way....and lunges forward, GORING VA'AIGA IN THE RIBS! Both men collapse to the ground in pain, gasping in great lungfuls of air.

 

"VAINGUH SUCKS! VAINGUH SUCKS!"

"LET'S GO TERRENCE! LET'S GO TERRENCE!"

"VAINGUH SUCKS! VAINGUH SUCKS!"

"LET'S GO TERRENCE! LET'S GO TERRENCE!"

 

The chants of the crowd are not audible to the two superstars, but the fans cheer nonetheless for the battle and brutality that they have seen so far tonight. On the Smarktron, they watch as Terrence claws at the nearby shelf, spilling packets of nacho-flavoured Doritos everywhere as he pulls himself upright, bleeding from numerous flesh wounds. Va'aiga is not much better off even at this stage in the match - holding his ribs and bleeding profusely from the back, the Maori Badass pushes himself upright with sheer willpower. In the dual-coloured eyes of the Anti-Heel Machine is a tinge of what could be fear, as he stares at his opponent. Va'aiga picks up on it and yells something in Maori, and in response, Terrence flings his right arm out in his patented Knuckle Bomb!

 

"Strange, Terrence looks almost worried, Citizen Riley."

 

"Weird, but it's just proof he's SCARED of Va'aiga, Comet!"

 

Swinging an arm out to knock the punch off course, Va'aiga swings around behind his opponent, tucking his head under Terrence's arm and waistlocking the Anti-Heel Machine. With a growl, the Maori Badass lifts his opponent up and arches back, nailing a picture-perfect backdrop suplex! The crunch of vertebrae is music to Va'aiga's ears as he holds the move for a pinfall attempt, and Sexton Hardcastle drops down to count!

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...KICKOUT!!

 

Terrence throws an arm off the ground, showing he's not quite finished yet. Va'aiga snorts and releases the backdrop suplex bridge, climbing to his feet. Grabbing a handful of white and black hair, the Maori Badass drags Terrence upright and irish whips the Australian down the aisle! With a loud THUD the Anti-Heel Machine crashes face first into a glass fridge, and gets to stare at all the Pepsi MAX inside as he tries to catch his breath and turn around. But before he can, his world is turned a sanguine red as the charging Va'aiga lifts a boot AND YAKUZA KICKS TERRENCE'S HEAD THROUGH THE GLASS DOOR! The crowd shrieks as the Anti-Heel Machine's head crashes through the glass, and when the Maori Badass pulls it out, blood streams from the giant's face. After a pause, Va'aiga spits at his opponent's bloodied mug and hooks his head, dropping him with an inverted DDT! But that's not all, as the angry Pacific Islander wrenches back on Terrence's neck and applies a body scissors, completing the brutal submission known as the Pacific Stretch! The Anti-Heel Machine bursts into life, a cry escaping his blood soaked lips as he waves his arms, trying to find some form of grip to pry the Maori Badass off. Insistently, Va'aiga wrenches on the hold, enjoying the cries of pain. Sexton Hardcastle asks Terrence if he wants to give up, and the giant screams out a "NO!" prompting Va'aiga to shout another insult in Maori and scream at him to surrender.

 

But Terrence "Janus" Bailey is not about to quit so soon, and his huge arms pry at the body scissors. A normal man might've been unable to escape - but a normal man was not seven foot two and three hundred and sixty pounds of muscle. Grimacing in agony, the Anti-Heel Machine forces Va'aiga's legs to seperate, breaking the body scissors! Trying to sit himself up, the seven foot Australian nearly chokes as the Maori Badass squeezes his throat before releasing the dragon sleeper! Gasping for air, Terrence stares at the blood running down his chest, and forces himself upright...only to feel his arms yanked behind him and hooked in preparation for a tiger suplex. Swinging back with one big leg, the Anti-Heel Machine kicks Va'aiga squarely in the lower abdomen and turns around. Hooking his doubled-over opponent's head and hoisting him up into the air, before planting his face into the shards of glass on the ground with the implant DDT he calls the Everdream!

 

"Terrence fights back, Robert! He seems to dislike being too brutal, but he may have to be just that to get the job done!" calls Comet.

 

"Like he could ever do that, Comet!" Riley sneers. "He's too much of a pansy! Look at him!"

 

Flinging out one leg, Terrence leaps and nails a standing legdrop that grinds Va'aiga's face further into the glass shards. Stumbling away from the fallen Maori Badass, the Anti-Heel Machine runs his hands over his face, pulling out a glass shard or two he can feel. As the crowd watch, he leaves the Maori Badass behind and disappears out the front door of the shop. The camera looks between the fallen Va'aiga and the disappearing Terrence, and focuses on the Pacific Islander as he climbs upright, spitting and snarling. Blood streams from his face thanks to that implant DDT, and with a roar, he turns towards Hardcastle and shakes him like a ragdoll.

 

"Where's he GO!?"

 

"Out...out....out..outside!" Hardcastle sputters, and Va'aiga snorts, shoving the referee into a rack of condoms before storming out of the shop.

 

Looking left and right, the Maori Badass pauses and looks down, noticing spots of blood on the wet pavement. Keeping an eye on it, Va'aiga smiles cruelly and follows the spots of blood down the path and around a corner into an alleyway. Lifting his eyes from the blood spots, the Maori Badass sees Terrence at the other end, facing away from him. The Anti-Heel Machine seems to be catching his breath, and a wide smirk crosses Va'aiga's face. Looking at his opponent, he pops one shoulder and stretches his arm out in preparation. The crowd in the arena boos and shouts out warnings as the Maori Badass begins to steamroll his way down the alleyway, gaining momentum. Despite the fact he can't hear the warnings, the battered Terrence turns around at the sound of thumping footsteps...

 

...and is decapitated by the HEY YOU AUSSIE MOTHERFUCKER YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME, IT'S TIME TO GET CREAMED SO SAY HELLO TO THE MENTAL RETARDATION WARD LARRRRRRRRRRRRRIAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The giant's head snaps back as if struck by a bullet, and like a tree falling to the ground the giant collapses to the concrete. With his eyes rolled back in his head and chest heaving, body jerking in shock, he looks like he's been killed dead by the brutal move. Va'aiga stands over the seven footer's body with a smirk a mile wide and looks at the camera.

 

"BOO-YAH!"

 

Then he leans down into the face of Terrence, whose eyes have drooped shut after that devastating impact.

 

"WHAT'S MY NAME, TERRENCE!? HUH!? WHAT'S MY MOTHERFUCKING NAME?!"

 

Dropping across the Australian's chest after screaming these insults, the Maori Badass glares at Sexton Hardcastle to make the count, and the referee drops down to do so!

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....

THREEEEEEEEEEEEOMGWTFNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

The crowd cheers rabidly at the arm that bursts up off the concrete at the last second, and Va'aiga almost looks like he's going to have an apopletic fit. Slamming an elbow down hard into the Anti-Heel Machine's forehead, the Maori Badass presses down laterally again, screaming at Hardcastle to count and do it fast.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEOHHELLNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

Again the giant's arm jerks up off the concrete, and Va'aiga lets out a scream of rage. Rising out of the lateral press, he bends over Terrence's body and screams down at the Anti-Heel Machine's face.

 

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, TERRENCE! BOO-YAH!"

 

Terrence Bailey's eyes pop open so suddenly the crowd jumps, and they stare up at the Maori Badass with surprising clarity and deadly focus. For you see, the mind of the psychologically treated is a dangerous thing to toy with. Va'aiga was right - Terrence could not beat Va'aiga in this environment. So deep in his mind, a sort of deal had been struck. Terrence Bailey could not be brutal enough, or harsh enough, to take out the Maori Badass. There was however, a person that could be so brutal, so harsh, that they could possibly win this match.

 

The Hell Machine.

 

Janus.

 

"He couldn't....but I can!"

 

With those snarling words, the seven footer's hand closes around Va'aiga's throat like a vice, and Janus sits up. Pure rage burning in his eyes, the giant blocked a kick from the standing Maori, and rose to his full height. With his hand locked around Va'aiga's throat, the seven footer snarls angrily before lifting his opponent off the ground with one arm, and BRUTALLY slamming him back down with a chokeslam! Following up, the Hell Machine rains heavy stomps into the ribs and face of his opponent, before dragging him back up to his feet! Grabbing an arm, Janus slings Va'aiga around in an irish whip, sending the Maori Badass out of the alleyway, across the pavement and into the traffic! The Maori Badass slams into the side of a moving car, stumbles back, and is clipped by a car speeding the other way, spinning him like a top! Traffic comes to a screeching halt as Va'aiga staggers across to the other side of the road.

 

On the far side, he watches the Hell Machine exit from the alleyway, soaked in blood and grinning like a man possessed. Through the stopped traffic the Australian walks, eyes locked onto the Maori Badass like a Terminator locked onto its target. The fans in the arena are almost stunned silent, but several are cheering for this turn of events. Riley and Comet look rather shocked.

 

"Robert....is.....is that who...I think....it...is?" Comet stares.

 

"I think so...Comet. He's...awfully scary though." Riley looks nervous.

 

"You always said...Citizen Janus was stronger...guess we'll see..."

 

"Yeah...."

 

But back to the match, as Janus and Va'aiga stand on opposite sides of a road of stopped traffic. The Maori Badass catches his breath as the Hell Machine casts his eyes about the street, and yanks a thick woollen scarf off an innocent passerby. Without so much as a 'thank you', Janus ties the scarf around his head to stem the flow of blood, and then the seven foot Australian begins to walk through the sea of cars towards his opponent. Va'aiga slowly backs away, but not out of fear, oh no. The Maori Badass disappears into a store dedicated to gardening implements, and the Hell Machine isn't far behind, entering the store moments afterwards. The camera follows the seven foot psychologically unsound Australian into the building, which has racks of gardening equipment as far as the eye can see.

 

The camera follows the Hell Machine down one aisle, past implements such as pickaxes, shovels, bottles of grass killer and fertiliser. As he reaches the end of one rack and walks on towards the next one, a figure emerges from behind the first rack with a shovel in hand. With a loud "BOOYAH!" Va'aiga swings the flat of a shovel full force into the back of Janus' head! The Hell Machine lets out a roar of pain and collapses to hands and knees, shaking his head furiously. The Maori Badass slams the shovel into his spine, knocking him flat, and proceeds to slam the weapon down repeatedly like a man possessed. After several harsh blows, Va'aiga rolls Janus over and strips the scarf from his head as the Hell Machine's eyes refocus on him. Lifting the shovel, the Maori takes aim at the Australian's face and swings the weapon with intent to severely maim. The shovel smashes into the wooden floor as the seven footer rolls out of the way, sitting up next to the rack on the wall with his face contorted in pain as he clutches at his back. Rather than pull the shovel out of the wooden floor, the Maori Badass grabs a handful of white/black hair and pulls Janus to his feet...

 

..and gets a stiff punch to the stomach in return! Swinging his right arm at full power, the Hell Machine slams another blow into Va'aiga's stomach, doubling him over, and follows it with a massive uppercut that jerks the Maori Badass straight up to his feet! Taking in great breaths of air as his entire body is aching, Janus glares steadily at his opponent, who grimaces in pain and swings his own punch back at the seven footer! Stepping aside, the Hell Machine loops his arm under the extended one, swinging around behind Va'aiga and hooking both arms in a full nelson. Cinching the hold in tight, the Australian roars wordlessly as he heaves his opponent over in a brutal full-nelson suplex and bridges it for the pin!

 

"Citizen Va'aiga just took a trip to the Sydney Harbour Bridge, Robert!"

 

"With excruciating force...ow! Va'aiga'll escape though..."

 

"You're confident, Citizen Riley."

 

"He just took Janus' back apart." replies the ambiguously gay coannouncer.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....and Janus collapses because he can't hold the bridge!

 

Releasing Va'aiga, the Hell Machine pushes himself back up, stumbling in pain. Every nerve in his body is aching, and he's bleeding all over the place. So is the Maori Badass, who clutches the back of his head and rolls on the ground, trying to gather his wits. His seven foot foe glares down at him, taking in deep breaths and stepping back slowly towards the doorway, crouching once he reaches it. He claps a hand on his shoulder and glares at the Maori Badass, who's pushing himself up to his feet. The crowd in the arena knows what's coming and begins cheering even though the two superstars can't hear them. As Va'aiga pulls straightens himself up and turns around, the Hell Machine storms across the intervening space...RAMMING HIMSELF INTO VA'AIGA'S STOMACH WITH A BRUTAL GORE! Both men collapse to the ground, having absorbed so much punishment in so little time it's hard to keep going. But in the name of wrestling, of the fans, and of beating the absolute shit out of each other, it's not over yet.

 

Not with Janus dragging himself upright with one of the racks. The Hell Machine rests his head on one of the shelfs, closing his eyes and resting as the Maori Badass sprawls on the ground, clutching his stomach and trying to drag himself upright. Using the racks for support, the Hell Machine moves further down the aisle, leaving Va'aiga once more alone on the ground. The Maori pushes himself up to a sitting position, clutching his ribs and spitting out some blood and muttering angry insults. However, as he also uses the racks to climb to his feet, a whirring buzz reaches his ears. The crowd in the arena gasps, as Va'aiga turns around to look down the aisle. Over the Maori Badass' shoulder, we are treated to a view of a bloodstained, psychotic looking Hell Machine...with a weedwhacker in his hands.

 

"UL-TRA-VIO-LENCE!" *stomp-stomp stomp-stomp-stomp*

"UL-TRA-VIO-LENCE!" *stomp-stomp stomp-stomp-stomp*

"UL-TRA-VIO-LENCE!" *stomp-stomp stomp-stomp-stomp*

"UL-TRA-VIO-LENCE!" *stomp-stomp stomp-stomp-stomp*

 

"The crowd is fully behind Citizen Baile....I mean Citizen Janus with that weedwhacker in his hands!" Comet calls almost shakily.

 

"Oh, this is not going to be pretty." Riley whimpers.

 

"No...no it isn't, Robert." Comet pats his announcing partner on the shoulder.

 

Revving the weedwhacker in his hands, the Hell Machine stalks down the aisle towards Va'aiga. Even the Maori Badass knows he can't absorb a shot from that sort of weapon, and begins backing away. When Janus quickens his pace, so does Va'aiga, who quickly exits the shop without taking his eyes off the ultraviolent Australian monster once. Janus follows with slow ominous steps, the buzzing weedwhacker alerting passersby to stay clear as well, as he lifts the weapon up and promptly charges, swinging the weedwhacker at Va'aiga's torso! Clearly spooked at his opponent's change in demeanour, Va'aiga backs away fast as Janus lifts the weedwhacker for another shot, nicking the Maori Badass's arm with the weapon before it crashes through the window of a parked car.

 

Pulling the weedwhacker back out as Va'aiga grabs his arm where the weapon struck, Janus throws himself forward and attempts to jam the gardening implement right into the chest of the Maori Badass! Only sheer luck saves Va'aiga's body from a mangling as the Maori sways aside, grabbing the shaft of the weedwhacker and using it to pull Janus in! Wrapping his arms around the giant's chest, he squeezes until the big man drops the weedwhacker - then grunts and throws himself back with an overhead belly to belly suplex. The Hell Machine crashes into the ground on his back, yelling out in pain but rolling over and pushing himself up. With psychotic desperation in his eyes, the seven foot Australian lunges back at his opponent, tackling the Maori Badass down to the concrete!

 

Mounting his opponent, the bloodied Australian just begins to hammer punches into his foe's head and chest, halted only when Va'aiga's arms reach up and clamp around his throat! With a scream, the Maori chokes Janus and rolls over, mounting the giant as he chokes him out, slamming the big man's head into the concrete. Releasing the hold when it seems the Hell Machine has passed out, Va'aiga drags the comatose monster upright and looks around, before dragging him back across a road still filled with stopped traffic. Slamming Janus' head into the grill of a halted semi, the Maori Badass screams at his opponent.

 

"YOU THINK YOU'RE HARDCORE, MOTHERFUCKER!? I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING SPINE OUT AND RAM IT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS! BOO-YAH!"

 

Lifting the seven foot, three hundred and sixty pound Hell Machine above his head, Va'aiga presses him onto the hood of the semi! The driver climbs out to object, but a harsh glare from the Maori Badass shuts him up as he climbs up onto the hood of the semi where the seven foot monster sprawls. Stomping the monster's scarred chest, he pauses to scream "WHAT'S MY NAME!?" before dragging Janus upright and cinching in a front facelock! With a snarl, the Maori lifts Janus up above his head....stalling, stalling...and DROPPING him straight into the steel hood of the semi with a brainbuster before rolling onto him for the pin!

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

...

....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Whether through force of will, instinct, or the fact he's a no-selling son of a bitch, Janus kicks out! The Maori Badass growls angrily and drags the giant to his feet, balancing precariously on the hood of the semi as he hooks in another front facelock and points to the asphalt! The crowd in the arena boos mightily and Va'aiga sneers, knowing they don't like the idea, as he begins to lift the Hell Machine up for a brainbuster off the semi! But the seven footer sandbags, dropping to his knees. Releasing the front facelock, the Maori Badass reaches down to grab the giant by the hair...but Janus smacks the reaching arms aside, surges upright, and clamps his arms around Va'aiga's arms and chest to complete the arm-capture bearhug known as the Over and Out...or as Janus called it, the HELL CRUSH!

 

"Over and Out!" Comet shills.

 

"Hell Crush!" calls Riley.

 

The superhero and the ambiguously gay one look at each other for a moment.

 

"Submission~!" they both cry at the same time.

 

Va'aiga lets out a primal cry of pain as Janus cinches the hold as tight as he can, shaking the Maori Badass like a rag doll as he tries to make him submit. Sexton Hardcastle listens intently for the scream of Va'aiga to say he gives up, but no such words emerge from the mouth of the cursing Maori. Instead, he rears his head back with a scream and slams a headbutt into Janus' face! The Australian's head snaps back, and Va'aiga rears his head back again and slams a second headbutt into the giant's bloodied face, forcing him to release the deadly submission hold. The Maori Badass slaps a hand around the Hell Machine's throat and roars, lifting him into the air. Twisting around, Va'aiga uses his other arm to lift the bigger man up into position for a fall forward slam, leaping off the side of the semi...

 

...and POSSIBLY BREAKING JANUS' SPINE WITH A SPINNING CHOKESLAM MAORI DROP! The crowd screams, as do Va'aiga and Janus! The Hell Machine sprawls on the pavement with almost no sign of life, and the Maori Badass rolls off the Australian's body as his ribs, his arms, his entire body is afire with pain. Side by side, the two monsters sprawl on the asphalt, their bodies battered and bloody, their bones possibly broken. Almost two full minutes pass before anyone moves, and the first person to do so is the Maori Badass, as he lets out a tortured cry and forces himself to sit up. The crowd back in the arena is in awe at the sheer brutality of these two men, as Va'aiga turns himself over and begins to stand up, clutching at his ribs and gasping in pain. As he leans on a car for support, his opponent moves. Sitting up slowly, blood staining his face, the Hell Machine's upper body contorts in pain, and through that crimson mask, a pair of completely contracted pupils stare up at the Maori Badass.

 

Amid the carnage and the chaos around them, a slow and cruel smile spread across Janus' lips.

 

In return, the Maori Badass curled his lip in a sneer as if daring his opponent to bring it on.

 

With agonising slowness, the Hell Machine returns to his vertical base, swaying on his feet and pressing a hand to his bloody forehead - the wound had long since clotted. The Maori Badass staggered slightly as he tried to stand tall, and the two men - battered and bloodied - stared calmly at each other for several long moments. Their hearts beat a million kilometres an hour. Their muscles ached. Sweat and blood streaked their bodies, and adrenaline surged in their veins. And Va'aiga launched the first blow.

 

"Left cross by Va'aiga!" calls Riley.

 

But Janus absorbs the shot to his chest, throwing his right arm at the Maori Badass forward to return the favour!

 

"Knuckle Bomb by Citizen Janus!" responds Comet.

 

Va'aiga stumbles back, but shows no fear, throwing another punch, and another, slamming them into the body and head of the Hell Machine. Shaken but not defeated, Janus returns the favour with more punches, as the two forgo any sort of wrestling whatsoever and simply start to pound the hell out of each other! Each shudderingly powerful blow from Janus sends Va'aiga stumbling back a step, but the Maori Badass fights the whole way, slamming his own punches into the giant's ribcage, abdomen, and face! By the time the two reach the pavement near the alleyway they'd emerged from, both are beginning to sway on their feet. The Maori Badass swings one more punch, and Janus stumbles back. But instead of striking back with a punch of his own, the Hell Machine fires back with a quick lariat that sends Va'aiga stumbling to his knees! Pushing himself upright, the Maori shakes his head, just as another quick lariat clubs him in the side of the head, knocking him back to the ground! Stepping around the body of Va'aiga, the Hell Machine fires another quick lariat into the other side of the rising Maori Badass's head, sending him back down once more. Head battered, the dazed Va'aiga rises back up to his feet to see Janus standing before him once more. The giant Australian's arm is cocked back, and as the Maori Badass reaches his full height...

 

...the Hell Machine snaps his arm forward with all the force he can muster, hitting a YOU CALL YOURS A LARIAT, THIS IS A GODDAMN LARIAT, AND I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING MOVE FOR IT TO SNAP YOUR NECK LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING TWIG LARRRRRRRIAAAAAAAATTTTOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

"That's Va'aiga's finisher!" Riley blurts.

 

"Not! It's a variation Terrence planned for this very match, I heard! He calls it the Instrument of Destruction!"

 

"Destruction is right..."

 

Va'aiga crashes into the concrete as Janus drops to hands and knees right next to him, taking in huge gulps of air. His completely contracted pupils expand again, and he looks almost like his brain has been fried. He turns his head left, then right, looking around him before sprawling across the body of the Maori Badass. Sexton Hardcastle makes his way through the mess of cars to drop down and make the count.

 

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

...

....

THREEEE......VA'AIGA'S ARMS REACH UP TO CLAMP AROUND JANUS' RIBS! The Hell Machine roars in pain as the Maori Badass lifts his shoulders off the ground and squeezes to increase the pressure of the bearhug-like move, wrenching at the giant's ribs. Opening his eyes and in obvious pain, the Maori Badass screams into the bigger man's ear, before releasing the hold and shoving the giant off him. Janus begins crawling away, into the alleyway, reaching around for something that could help him back to his feet. As he uses a dumpster to help regain his vertical base, the Maori Badass slowly lifts himself off the concrete, rubbing the back of his neck before pressing his hands to his head.

 

"The punishment these men are taking is extreme, Robert!" Comet marvels.

 

"Va'aiga should've won with that huge spinning chokeslam Maori Drop!" Riley yells.

 

"He didn't pin him, Citizen Riley - he was obviously in too much pain!"

 

"And then Janus stole the Lariat and nearly got a three count! Good thing Va'aiga has a hard head!"

 

"I'm surprised either of them have lasted this long, Robert. Citizen Janus is a known maniac in the ring, and Citizen Va'aiga is incredibly tough...but these men have just been KILLING each other!"

 

Again the Maori Badass steps into the alleyway, and again he spots his opponent standing at the far end. But this time, Janus' back is not turned, as he stares expectantly at Va'aiga. Taking in a big gulp of air, the Hell Machine slashes his thumb across his throat and points at the Maori Badass, before slapping his throat. Daring Va'aiga to try for another Lariat. The Maori Badass yells an insult as Janus spreads his arms, presenting a clear target for the deadly finishing move. Stretching his arm, Va'aiga pops the shoulder before stretching it out once more, screaming at his opponent.

 

"TERRENCE! JANUS! WHATEVER YOU MOTHERFUCKING CALL YOURSELF! YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD, HEAR ME!? BOOOOOOYAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

 

Charging down the alleyway with all the speed and power he can muster, the Maori Badass charges towards Janus, arm extended for a Lariat sure to decapitate his opponent and truely end the match. The Hell Machine stands with his arms spread, staring intently at his onrushing doom. His green and red eyes contracted to pinpoints, as he watched the Maori Badass charge in at him. He would have one chance at this, and only one chance, because if the move hit him again it would all be over.

 

As Va'aiga comes within range, the Hell Machine swings one leg up, square into the stomach of the Maori Badass! The impact causes Va'aiga to double over, dropping his arm and stumbling forward right into a firmly applied front facelock! With a furious cry, the Hell Machine lifts the Maori up into the air for a massive stalling vertical suplex! Stumbling on his feet, he looks straight at the camera, as he twists the Maori Badass around into a very familiar position. And then he yells for the first time in the match.

 

"FEEL MY RAGE, VA'AIGA! RAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!"

 

You can almost see the exclamation marks go up over everyone's head in the arena when they see the move.

 

A vertical suplex.

 

A vertical suplex that was turning into a sit-out tombstone piledriver.

 

"That's..." Riley falters.

 

"The Rage Unleashed..." Comet finishes.

 

*CRUNCH!*

 

The arena goes dead silent as Janus sits out, slamming the Maori Badass skull-first into the ground. There's an unpleasant sound of bone meeting concrete as Va'aiga collapses to the ground, and the announcers as well as Sexton Hardcastle stare in shock. The Hell Machine grimaces and rolls over, pressing across Va'aiga's fallen body laterally, entire body trembling with tense rage. Or was it fear....or regret? The referee drops down for the three count.

 

ONE!

 

Va'aiga twitches on the ground.

 

TWO!!

 

The Maori Badass utters a pained groin.

 

THREEEEEEEEE!!!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

Back in the arena, the bell rings! The crowd bursts into a round of cheers as Funyon rises to his feet, and the sound of Dreamsfear echoes out over the arena for the second and only time that night. Everyone watches as Funyon listens to his earpiece, as Hardcastle asks the now-sittng Australian a question. In response, the big man shakes his head and carefully puts his fingers to his eye, pulling out the red contact and throwing it down onto the ground with a grimace. And finally, Funyon speaks, as on the Smarktron Terrence lifts Va'aiga up onto his shoulder.

 

"YOUR WINNER! AND STIIIIIIIIIIIIILL! SMARKS! WRESTLING! FEDERATION! HARDCORE GAMERS CHAMPION.....THE ANTI-HEEEEEEEL MACHINE....TERRRRRRRRRRRRENCE 'JAAAAAANUS' BAAAAAAAAILEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

 

"Citizen Terrence...Janus? Terrence, according to Citizen Funyon, wins this match, Robert!"

 

"God that match was....nasty, Comet." Riley looks ill.

 

"Indeed...Citizen Terrence wins after using one of his most brutal moves - the Rage Unleashed, a vertical suplex into a sitout tombstone piledriver - to put Citizen Va'aiga down for the three count."

 

"Do you think he...wasn't kidding...about that whole personality switch, Comet?"

 

"I....honestly can't answer that, Citizen Riley..."

 

"Anyway, next up we have the big, the bad, the H-Ville...I mean, HVT, taking on 'The Franchise' Mak Francis. One man will quit, and I will bet my virgin ass that it's not Francis."

 

"Virgin, Robert? And Supercitizen Francis has done many impressive things..."

 

As the two commentators banter, the Smarktron fizzles out to show a view of the back of the arena. Everyone stands up on their feet as Terrence, still with the Maori Badass over his shoulder, comes stumbling into the arena. Officials and EMTs rush to check on them, but the big man pushes them aside and continues his trek, despite the fact he's lost a lot of blood.

 

"What is Citizen Terrence doing!? He and Va'aiga need medical attention...neither of them are in any condition to keep fighting now the match is over, so why is he..."

 

Whatever Riley's reply is, it's drowned out by the loud pop of the fans as Terrence "Janus" Bailey comes walking through the stage curtain, complete with "As Darkness Falls" roaring in the background. Walking down to the ring with a stumble in his step, clearly rather exhausted, the bleeding giant continues to carry the Maori Badass with him.

 

My life is passing me by!

Seems like I'm ready to die!

I want to stand in the light!

AS DARKNESS FALLS!

 

"What on Earth is Citizen Terrence doing, Robert?" Comet queries.

 

"I have NO idea, Comet..."

 

The Anti-Heel Machine rolls Va'aiga under the bottom rope, then climbs into the ring. As he is offered a microphone however, Comet and Riley both tap their earpieces and look at the cameras with some dismay on their faces.

 

"We must go to commercial, citizens and fans. We'll be right back after the break, and hopefully find out what Citizen Terrence is doing by dragging Citizen Va'aiga out here..."

 

The camera focuses on the ring, and the bloodstained body of the Maori Badass on the canvas. It pans up to the equally bloody Anti-Heel Machine, who takes a few steps away from Va'aiga's fallen body to slump against the turnbuckles, reaching out for a microphone. As someone on the floor tosses him one, the image begins to fade out, lingering on the seven footer. We fade to a commercial of everyone's favourite ex-clannite Thoth, who is hyping techno remixes of the latest SWF themes on the newest Dance Dance Revolution game.

[Guest Suicide King]

Terrence Bailey stands in the center of the ring, holding the Hardcore Gamers belt high in the air, in a triumphal pose. The fans cheer and chant his name as the referee holds his arm aloft.

 

Riley: What a gyp.

 

Comet: Terrence Bailey, your Hardcore Gamers champion, citizens.

 

Bailey poses and turns to each side of the arena in turn, but as he turns away, the defeated Va’aiga is slowly standing, raising a chair he has grabbed for and lining up Janus for another shot. Va’aiga draws the chair back and Bailey turns and Janus… BLASTS THE CHAIR INTO VA’AIGA’S FACE WITH A KNUCKLE BOMB! Va’aiga drops back down to the canvas and Bailey stomps away.

 

Comet: Ha! Justice prevails again! Va’aiga went for a cheap shot, a little revenge maybe, and Terrence Bailey saw it coming.

 

Riley: Things are looking bad for the Maori Badass….

 

LET FREEDOM RING WITH A SHOTGUN BLAST!

 

Riley: …real bad

 

Stepping out into the arena with their music blaring, the other two thirds of the Unholy Trinity step out of the entrance gate. Danny Williams briefly has a microphone in hand, and offers the bloodcurdling call…

 

Danny Williams: LEAVE HIM TO ME!

 

Danny and Dace walk slowly up the entrance ramp, as Janus has Va’aiga trapped in the ring, the tiredness showing on the Maori Badass’ face. Danny Williams has a faint glint of evil in his eye as he steps slowly up the ramp, striding ever closer to the ring.

 

Comet: This is it… Va’aiga is FINALLY gonna get his at the hands of the Unholy Trinity.

 

Riley: Revenge is a dish best served in three portions. I can’t see any way Va’aiga is going to get out of this.

 

Danny Williams and Dace Night both stand firm for a brief second, surveying the scene in front of them and… BOTH GET SMASHED ACROSS THE BACK OF THEIR HEADS BY STEREO ENZUI-LARIATS! Danny and Dace drop to the floor as their assailants, John Duran and Charlie Matthews had rushed up the entrance ramp and cleaned the clocks of the two Unholy Trinity members. Duran and Matthews look down at the pair of bodies lying in front of them. James Matheson strides out of the gateway and directs traffic furiously as Terrence Bailey comes out of the ring to save his comrades, and the attacking pair slide into the ring to defend Va’aiga from further assault.

 

Comet: Awwww man.

 

Riley: YES! YES! Some crimes do go unpunished, superhero man. Va’aiga comes out on top again, and it’s not just the advice of John Duran fueling his victory. It’s the actual support of both the Notorious One and Mr Old School.

 

Va’aiga slowly raises up to his feet, his head clearing as Charlie Matthews, James Matheson and John Duran surround the Maori, Duran and Matthews staring up the entrance ramp where the Unholy Trinity are slowly making their way back towards the dressing rooms. Va’aiga, still breathing heavily from the effort and exertion of his match signals for a microphone to be thrown to him, and one comes arcing over from the timekeeper’s position, skillfully caught by John Duran. Duran passes the mic to Va’aiga.

 

Va’aiga: This is just the beginning. Mr Matheson…

 

And James Matheson takes the mic from the Maori Badass.

 

Matheson: My client, the much loved Charlie “Grappler” Matthews is out here defending the rights of EVERY wrestler in the back. You see it is in my client’s best interests to be out here alongside the Notorious One and the Maori, because he is here to make a statement. That statement should be very clear to even the most short sighted and narrow minded of Heavy Hitters. There is a new threat on the horizon, and its name goes beyond those of the HVille Thugg, of Erek Taylor, of Justice and Rule. The more you concentrate on the big names, the more, Grand Slam, you forget about the heart, the soul of this federation. Those chosen few who are out here week in, week out busting their asses to succeed in this business. Not for the millions of idiots watching, but for THEMSELVES. The ignored. The overlooked. The Outcasts. Maybe tonight will show that we are willing to strike against any target to get noticed, and unless there is an improvement in the way this federation looks at my client, and at his associates, we are going to have to take the strongest action to ensure our success is at the forefront of everyone’s minds. “Show” no more, this is about taking my client to the highest level in this sport, and not caring who he steps on. This alliance is about Charlie Matthews. Mr Duran…

 

Matheson hands the mic over to John Duran.

 

Duran: I have seen many performers in this business get disrespected simply because of different outlooks on life. Va’aiga, The Maori Badass, one of the hardest hitting guys in this federation, I’ve seen him overlooked. And as much of a son of a bitch as he is, I’ve seen the way that forces conspire against Charlie Matthews. But most importantly, I’ve seen title shot after title shot pass me by. Few have respect for what I’ve done, and for what I continue to do. I know all of you out there have been through the same thing. “What if my boss noticed me, maybe then I’d get the promotion I was due.” See, the difference between you Columbus scum out there and me is that those of you sitting in the crowd are SPINELESS. You won’t do anything about it. Unlike you all, I have set in motion steps that will give me the respect I rightfully deserve. However, all of you continue to boo me. None of you bother to listen. You want your freedom of speech, and so you use it. That’s fine, but it’s also avoiding the truth that I have faced, and that I will now fight against. In this day and age, you can’t be a sheep and succeed. No longer will I be a follower. This is about taking a lead and fixing the wrongs shoved onto me by myself. This alliance is about me.

 

Duran stands stern in the waves of boos as he hands the microphone to Va’aiga.

 

Va’aiga: You don’t understand. None of you understand. I beat Danny Williams, and I get thrown back down the card like a flight of stairs. I become part of the only team to beat Justice and Rule, and I get my tag title reign pulled from under my feet by the booking team. I have to build up to face Terrence Bailey at a PPV match in a DUMPSTER MATCH WITH GRAPPLER. That’s demeaning, that’s degrading. That’s not the Maori Badass. I am not prepared to be a footnote in history. TNT beat Danny and HE got treated like a star. The Maori Badass just gets ignored again. Well I listened to what John Duran told me. I listened to what James Matheson had to say. THESE are the heart of this federation. Not Xstasy. Not Tom Flesher. Not Mark Stevens. To Mark Stevens I’m just that big foreign guy who’s good for punishing people. Grand Slam Mark Stevens doesn’t even know my name. This alliance is about Va’aiga. WHAT’S MY NAME GRAND SLAM? WHAT’S MY NAME?

[Guest Suicide King]

The montage starts with shots of HVT and Mak Francis in their return matches to the ring. Then it cuts away to their first meeting in the ring, where Mak Francis wins with a rollup on Thugg. Then we see HVT furious about the loss, and demanding a rematch.

 

In the second contest, HVT dominates Mak for the most part, before picking up the win. Then the montage cuts away to Mak’s interference in HVT vs Michael Craven, and shows Mak delivering several chair shots to Thugg. It then cuts away from Mak’s promo that followed the match…

 

“I respect your career Thugg and everything you’ve done here in the SWF, but I’m going to beat you. It’s my time to shine. The Franchise, he’s breaking into the big time. And if I have to use you as a stepping stone, I’m sorry, but that’s the way it’s gotta be… I’m no legend killer, but when it’s all said and done I won’t be the person that says—”

 

 

 

“I QUIT!”

 

Cut away to Storm the following week, and shots are shown of Francis attacking Thugg with a steel pipe, and then a steel chair. Following those shots, the world sees Thugg attacking Mak’s knee with a steel chair!

 

 

 

One man, destined for stardom…

 

 

FRANCHISE TAG!

 

 

One man, already larger than life…

 

 

UNTAMED CHOKESLAM!!

 

 

The next rising star…

 

 

CATTLE MUTILATION!!!

 

 

An SWF Hall of Famer…

 

 

LAST STAND!!

 

 

Two egos, no building can contain…

 

BROTHERLY LOVE!!!

 

THUGG PASSION!!

 

 

The only two words that can destroy a soul…

 

 

Thugg stands menacingly, and Mak stands confidently…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I QUIT!”

 

 

 

BOOM!!

 

 

Darkness fills the arena, and the fans start to stand up from their seats in anticipation of the carnage that is sure to ensue. The darkness sits idle for what very well may be an eternity, and the fans grow louder with impatience, until suddenly, the digital xylophone echoes through the arena and…

 

 

 

 

“SO YOU WANNA BE A FRANCHISE!”

 

 

RAAAAAAAAAA!!!

 

 

The crowd erupts into a blazing frenzy, drowning out the opening chorus of Cypress Hill’s “Rock Superstar”, customized specifically for the entrance of this great superstar. The crowd noise grows louder and louder with each passing second, until if finally explodes like an atomic bomb when the Franchise himself, Mak Francis, pushes back the black curtain and steps onto the stage.

 

(Riley) – OH HO HO…Comet! Here we go! Now this is what I came to see tonight! Someone’s manhood is about to wither and die!

 

(Comet) – How right you are Bobby…somebody’s gonna become less of a man tonight, and by the looks of things, these fans truly don’t want that man to be the Franchise.

 

Francis, standing on the stage, tips his sunglasses down to the end of his nose before looking right and then left. The fans maintain their impossible decibel level as Francis looks to the sky, cueing multiple short bursts of green pyrotechnics on both sides of him. As the heavy smoke fills the air, Francis pushes his glasses back onto his face and then makes his way, slowly, down the ramp and towards the ring.

 

DING DING DING

 

(Funyon) – Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is an “I QUIT” match, where in order to win, one man must force his opponent to say “I QUIT” using the microphone provided.

 

(Comet) – What an extraordinary night this has been…our Christmas PPV Extravaganza…and it’s only gonna get better from here!

 

(Funyon) – Introducing first…making his way to the ring…weighing in at 236 pounds…he hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…You know him as THE FRANCHISE…Here he is…MAAAAAAAK FRAAAAAAAAAANCIS!

 

The crowd goes absolutely wild as Francis reaches the ring and proceeds his normal route up the ring steps. He wipes his feet on the apron, with a smirk on his face as he eyes a pretty girl in the front row, before giving his traditional mock salute, seemingly directly at this very lucky female. The Franchiseable One steps through the middle ropes, and proceeds to the near left turnbuckle, climbs it, and pumps his fists into the air, nearly setting off a riot in the arena.

 

(Comet) – Just listen to these fans…how amped up are they?

 

(Riley) – Oh yeah Comet, these fans are amazing tonight, as they should be. This night has been amazing…and we’ve still got so much to go…including watching the greatest superstar since Suicide King whoop up on that pansy Tom Flesher.

 

(Comet) – Can I assume you’re talking about Ejiro Fasaki?

 

(Riley) – You know that’s who I’m talking about. He’s gonna hand Flesher his ass tonight, and everyone knows it.

 

(Comet) – Ever think that you might be selling tickets that Ejiro’s ass can’t cash?

 

(Riley) – Whatever…who do you know? You listen to these stupid people who wouldn’t know talent if it slapped them in the face. Just listen to them…cheering for this Xstasy wanna-be…Thugg’s gonna beat him to a pulp, and then take his manhood by making him say those two sweet words.

 

(Comet) – How many times did you say that in your career?

 

(Riley) – Uhhhhhh…WHERE’ NOT TALKING ABOUT ME!!

 

(Comet) – Yeah…

 

 

As Comet snickers at his sly way of insulting Riley, the lights drop out like an apartment whose occupant has 22”s that keep spinning, but can’t pay the electric bill. The fans buzz as the all too familiar electric guitar starts with a hip hop beat…

 

 

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be!

 

“They don’t know…”

“Who we be!”

 

“What they don’t know is…”

 

 

KA-BOOOOOOOM!!!

 

The boo’s rain in just as the wall of fire erupts on the stage, nearly burning the two Christmas trees on either corner of the stage. Barely heard over the fans’ hatred is DMX’s “Who We Be”, and on the stage, standing behind the fire, is the giant of all giants, HVT!

 

(Comet) – And here comes your man of the hour…HVT…looking more menacing than ever. I’m certain he’s got a very brutal plan for Francis tonight…

 

(Funyon) – And his opponent, weighing in at 386 pounds…he hails from the nation’s capitol, Washington, DC…You know his as the Angry Black Man…H…V…T!!!

 

“H-VILLE!”

 

“H-VILLE!”

 

“H-VILLE!”

 

“H-VILLE!”

 

As the fans bellow a former Thugg moniker, HVT steps through the fire and starts down the ramp towards the ring, while Francis waits propped up in the far right corner.

 

(Comet) – Just listen to these fans lay into Thugg with his old name. If, for some reason, you’ve been under a rock the last few weeks, Thugg stopped being referred to as Hville, but the fans don’t let that stop them from chanting it.

 

(Riley) – Yeah…and they’re going to be responsible for what Thugg does to Mak Francis here tonight because when he’s pissed, he’s gonna hurt someone…and Mak’s gotta stand in that ring with him. Should get real ugly.

 

HVT steps to the apron, and uses the top tope to pull himself onto it. He steps over the top rope and into the ring, where he finally locks eyes with Mak Francis.

 

“I’m gonna break you in half little man!”

 

Mak gives a false shiver as he stands straight up.

 

“Oooo, I’m so scared. I hope you got your stamina up big boy…it’s gonna be a long night.

 

HVT steps to the center of the ring, still staring at Francis and ready for the showdown.

 

“Yo, don’t worry ‘bout me dogg, cause I’m gonna make this quick, fo’ real.”

 

Francis meets HVT in the center of the ring, the top of his forehead meeting Thugg’s chest, and he starts to chuckle lightly.

 

“Ok, ok…whatever. But look…I have something for you…”

 

Francis reaches into his tights, and pulls out an index card…

 

(Riley) – Wait! What’s he doing?? REF! Frisk him…he’s got a weapon!!

 

(Comet) – First of all, it’s an index card Bobby. Secondly, this is an “I Quit” match…there’s no DQ or count out. So, technically, Mak, OR THUGG, could have and use weapons if they so choose. But let’s hope they don’t.

 

Francis flips the card over so the words face Thugg, and HVT’s face grows red with anger. The camera zooms in on the card, while the camera’s feed displays on the SmarkTron as well, and the card reads…

 

 

“I QUIT”

 

 

(Riley) – What? Francis quits already?

 

(Comet) – I’m not sure what that’s all about Riley.

 

Francis motions for HVT and the fans to hold on for one second, and then walks over to the far ropes and retrieves the microphone from the attendant who was bringing it into the ring for use in the match. He walks back to the center of the ring, shows Thugg the card again, and then raises the mic…

 

(Francis) – Just in case your stupid ass forgets the words you need to say to stop me from beatin’ dat ass!

 

…and the crowd bursts into laughter, which infuriates HVT!

 

(Comet) – Oh…now that’s not nice Mak.

 

(Riley) – He’s asking for it Comet…he is SO asking for it.

 

Thugg’s rage builds and builds, until it finally explodes, and he delivers a tremendous right hand to…NO…Mak bobs backwards to avoid the blow, and the fans continue to laugh at HVT. Thugg takes another swing at Francis, but again, Francis bobs backwards.

 

(Comet) – Yep…he’s snapped now, and Thugg’s taking those monster swings at Francis…but he’s missing all of them. HVT needs to keep his head, or he’s going to find himself, not only the BUTT of many a joke, but on the wrong end of this match.

 

Thugg lunges forward at Mak, but the Franchise ducks under and spins away from HVT, forcing Thugg to stumble into the far ropes while Francis dances in the center of the ring. Thugg turns around quickly, and Francis grins from ear to ear while presenting two middle fingers to Thugg.

 

RAAAAA!!

 

Thugg breaks towards Francis, who turns around and exits the ring under the near side ropes.

 

(Comet) – Francis is making Thugg look very silly out here…

 

(Riley) – What’s with this running crap? Is this a track meet?

 

(Comet) – I think this is strategy…Mak has a plan, and I think he’s executing it right now.

 

As Mak rounds the left corner on the near side of the ring, HVT climbs out of the ring on the near side and gives chase as the fans cheer Mak’s antics. Francis runs alongside the left side of the ring while HVT hits the corner. The chase continues around the ring until Mak reaches the right side of the ring, where he dives back into the ring. Francis runs across the ring and slides out the other side just as HVT slides into the ring after him on the right side.

 

(Riley) – Strategy or not, this is ridiculous. Just get in the ring and fight already…

 

(Comet) – Personally, I think it’s important for Mak to keep his distance from HVT…not allowing the big man to land those huge power moves he’s famous for.

 

(Riley) – I don’t care…Francis is running scared, and it’s really kind of sad. Just take your beating like a man.

 

Thugg slides out the left side of the ring after Mak, who this time, turns and runs around the near side of the ring. With HVT giving chase, Francis slides back into the ring on the right side, and again, runs across the ring. With the fans cheering Mak’s elusive behavior, HVT slides in after him, but just as he starts to slide under the bottom rope, the Franchise bounces off the left side ropes, runs towards the right side ropes, and slides feet first right into Thugg’s face!

 

(Comet) – See! I told you it was strategy!! Francis scores first blood with a baseball side right into Thugg.

 

The blow knocks HVT back out of the ring and to the floor as Francis jumps back to his feet, feeling very proud of himself. The fans cheer loudly again as Francis leans over the top rope to watch Thug rise. HVT starts to get to his feet, completely infuriated with what has just occurred, but no sooner does he get to his feet is when Francis, using the top rope as a fulcrum, slingshots himself over the top rope. Within in seconds, Francis crashes into a just standing HVT with a Cross Body Press that takes the big man, and Mak, back down to the ground below!

 

(Comet) – And an athletic Cross Body from the Franchise, preventing HVT from getting back into the ring. His strategy is working to a “T”!

 

(Riley) – Francis may be a cocky bastard, but he has no honor. He knows he can’t beat Thugg, so he must resort to these ridiculous schemes to score some points with the fans before getting his ass handed to him.

 

(Comet) – You’re just mad because “your boy” fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

 

(Riley) – I’ve never claimed that Thugg was the smartest cookie in the jar, but when it comes down to it, he always gets the job done…and he’s gonna do the same thing here against Mak Francis.

 

Francis gets to his feet after having taken the least of that exchange, and with his confidence and adrenalin running high, he takes to stomping HVT in the chest and head while the big man is down. The fans are up out of their seats and cheering their hero as he continues to stomp into a struggling HVT, but out of no where, HVT snaps and shoves Francis away from his knees.

 

(Riley) – Now you’ve done it Mak…you’ve made him mad.

 

Thugg gets to his feet while the fans settle back into their seats and Mak gets his footing, and he immediately charges the Franchise, looking to knock him back to the next century with a clothesline…NO! Mak ducks the blow, spins around behind HVT, grabs his head from behind, and drops him with a perfectly executed Neckbreaker!

 

(Comet) – Nice counter Neckbreaker from Mak Francis! Do you think he might try to work on Thugg’s neck tonight Bobby?

 

(Riley) – He’s a punk, so probably…but it won’t work. I’ve actually spoken with Thugg, and he assures me that his neck it perfectly healed, and it won’t cause him any problems.

 

Francis gets to his feet to find Thugg holding his head after hitting it square on the thinly padded floor outside the ring. Francis, thoroughly full of himself and with the crowd back up on their feet, slides back into the ring where he throws his fists into the air, sending the fans into a frenzy.

 

(Comet) – I don’t know Riley, how many times have athletes lied about injuries. I think if Mak can work that neck, it could be an advantage for him.

 

(Riley) – Yeah, I doubt it. Not to mention that Mak may not be able to get there because he’s too busy showboating. Look at him…what a fool.

 

HVT gets up to his feet and sees Francis in the ring soaking up the adulation, and this makes even more angry than he already is. Francis locks eyes with the beast, and waves him in, causing the fans, once again, to burst with excitement. Thugg grits his teeth and dives into the ring, where Francis meets him with hard boots to the back.

 

(Comet) – Yeah, he’s probably doing too much showboating, but right now, he’s got Thugg right where he wants him.

 

Thugg fights through the boots to get to his feet, but Francis immediately pushes him against the right side ropes and whips him…NO! HVT reverses the whip and sends Francis to the left side ropes. The Franchise bounces off the ropes as Thugg walks closer to the center of the ring, but when Francis gets closer to Thugg, he leaps into the air and drives a hard forearm to Thugg’s head sending the big man backwards into the right side ropes.

 

(Comet) – Diving forearm from Francis sends Thugg back, and the Franchise is in control here in the early going.

 

Thugg checks his head and pushes off the ropes, but Mak is quick to meet him with a huge right hand and keeps Thugg staggering. A second right hand backs Thugg up to the right hand ropes again, where Francis delivers…

 

 

SMACK!

 

“Oooo!”

 

 

…a hard knife-edge chop!

 

(Comet) – A hard chop from Francis, and he really did his homework for this match. Thugg dominated him most of the match last time, but it looks like Mak Francis wants this more than anything, and he prepared accordingly.

 

(Riley) – I will definitely give him that, he did his homework. Also, I think he got in Thugg’s head with stupid antics earlier, and I think that frustrated HVT.

 

 

SMACK!

 

“Oooo!”

 

 

 

(Comet) – Well, he better get it together…

 

(Riley) – Oh yeah…cause Mak’s gonna make Thugg quit with chops?

 

After Francis delivers a third chop to Thugg’s chest, Francis grabs Thugg for the whip…NO! Instead, Thugg whips Francis…NO…but not a reversal…Thugg, instead of whipping Francis across the ring, pulls him back in, and drops him with a huge Short-Arm Clothesline!

 

(Riley) – Well, looks like it don’t matter…cause Thugg’s about to take it to him!

 

The entire arena sits down as Francis hits the canvas holding his head, and the much larger man foams at the mouth before stomping Francis in the head and back. He grabs Francis up by the head, but Francis quickly knocks his hands away and lands a hard right that brings the crowd back to its feet. They rally behind Mak’s second right hand, but are silenced when the big man delivers a hard thigh to Mak’s stomach.

 

(Comet) – Thugg thwarts that pretty quickly, silencing this sellout crowd.

 

Francis doubles from the shot to the abdomen, and shoves him into a front face lock. HVT reaches down and lifts Francis high up into the air for a suplex, but instead of falling backwards, HVT holds Francis in the air…

 

 

 

 

 

…still in the air…

 

 

 

 

 

…yep, still in the air…

 

 

 

 

…15 seconds now…

 

 

 

 

…20 seconds now…

 

 

 

 

BAM!!!

 

…before falling backwards and dropping Mak Francis with a Stalling Suplex!!

 

(Comet) – Supreme Stalling Suplex from Thugg there and Mak Francis is hurt!!

 

(Riley) – He should just give up right now…

 

(Comet) – I don’t think he’s gonna do that Bobby. Mak wants Thugg’s respect, even if he has to beat it out of him. And he’s not going to give up that easy.

 

Thugg stands up, looking like he might go for a pin, but then goes to the edge of the ring and demands the microphone.

 

(HVT) – Yo! Give up now bitch!

 

The fans boo as Francis looks up from all fours, and instead of giving up, he motions for HVT to bring it.

 

(Comet) – Thugg hoping for the early submission there…but Francis just tells him to bring it.

 

HVT shrugs his shoulders and walks over to the rising Mak Francis and…

 

 

THUD!

 

 

…hits him over the head with the BUTT of the microphone!

 

(Riley) – Hey, that’s a nice one from Thugg there.

 

(Comet) – Yeah…that was commendable. He hit him with the microphone…

 

(Riley) – It’s an “I Quit” match Comet…it’s allowed or did you not read your rule book today?

 

Francis goes back down to the canvas after the blow while the fans shower Thugg with an immense amount of heat. Thugg drops the microphone and grabs Francis by the head to lift him up. Once he has his adversary up, he whips him to the far right corner, where Francis lands back first into the turnbuckle with a thud. Thugg runs in behind Francis and slams his body into Mak’s, splashing him into the corner…NO! Instead, Mak throws his feet into the air and slams them into Thugg’s face!

 

(Comet) – And back comes Francis!!

 

Thugg turns away from Francis, allowing Francis to burst out of the corner and slam Thugg down on his face with a Bulldog that brings the fans to a ridiculous level of excitement. Despite being slightly hurt, Francis dances to the right, shimmies to the left, gives two pelvic thrusts, and drops a fist right onto Thugg’s face!!

 

(Comet) – Mak Francis! Bulldog!! Fist Drop! THE TRUTH HURTS BABY!!

 

(Riley) – Showboating bitch.

 

(Comet) – BOBBY!

 

(Riley) – Bite me Comet.

 

Francis pumps his fist in the air, and then goes after the microphone lying on the canvas.

 

(Francis) – You’re gonna have to do better than that you big monkey bastard!

 

He throws the microphone to the canvas, and while the crowd noise drowns out the feedback, Francis runs at a sitting HVT, and delivers a hard sitout dropkick to his face. HVT rolls onto his stomach and holds his face, while Francis immediately jumps in his back with his knees. Mak then grabs both of Thugg’s arms, and pulls them back towards him, stretching out HVT’s shoulder since he is lying on his stomach!

 

(Comet) – And now we see the first submission of the match!! Mak’s got the Rings of Saturn locked on, and I wondered he long we’d have to wait before we saw Mak use this extensive knowledge of submissions against this brute.

 

(Riley) – Let’s go Thugg…stop messin’ around.

 

HVT screams out in pain while Francis screams as he pulls harder on Thugg’s arms.

 

“MIC!”

 

The referee, Sexton Hardcastle, brings the microphone over to the two battling superstars, and then looks at Francis for further instructions.

 

“Ask him you dumb ass!”

 

(Hardcastle) – Whaddya say Thugg?

 

(HVT) – AHHHHHH! FUCK YOU!!

 

“Suit yourself”

 

“AHHHHHHHH!!”

 

…and Francis yanks back even harder on Thugg’s arms, nearly ripping them from the sockets!

 

(Comet) – Mak Francis has that Rings of Saturn locked in solid, and he’s not showing any signs of letting go! What is Thugg gonna do?

 

(Riley) – I don’t know Comet. I’m really worried here…I don’t see any way out of this hold for HVT.

 

(Comet) – He might just have to quit Riley. It’s no DQ, so those ropes are useless to HVT.

 

(Riley) – NO! He won’t quit! He’ll die before he quits!

 

Francis pulls and pulls, and Thugg screams and screams…

 

 

 

 

…the fans scream for Thugg to quit, but finding no other solution to get out of the Francis submission, he uses all his strength to roll to his left, which knocks Francis off his perch. Mak is forced to release the hold, much to the dismay of the audience, and he falls to the left side of HVT. Francis, however, gets back to his feet quickly while Thugg tends to his shoulders on the canvas. As the Franchise approaches, he reaches down to raise HVT, but Thugg quickly grabs him and pulls him down, through the middle rope, and out to the floor below!

 

(Comet) – Good save from Thugg there, but he barely got there. I’m telling you, he was just about to give up, I could tell.

 

(Riley) – You know nothing…Thugg’s out of the hold now, and Francis is out on the floor.

 

Francis gets to his feet quickly on the outside, while HVT slowly finds his on the inside. Mak jumps up to the apron, where he is met by HVT, who reaches out to grab the Franchise, but Mak ducks under and jams his shoulder into Thugg’s stomach through the ropes, doubling the big man.

 

(Comet) – But Thugg is out of it right now, and it looks like Mak is going up top!

 

As Thugg turns away holding his stomach, Francis runs to the far left corner and climbs the turnbuckle to the top. Once up there, Francis waits for HVT to face him, and then he takes to the air. He points his feet square at HVT’s pain-staked face, and soars towards him…

 

 

 

 

…but Thugg side steps, and uses Mak’s own momentum against him by pushing him in the direction he is being carried, causing him to land back first on the canvas!

 

(Comet) – Francis going for the Missle Dropkick but misses as Thugg steps to the side, and now the Franchise might be in a little trouble.

 

(Riley) – That wasn’t smart of Francis. He can do the aerials, but it’s not his M.O. Not to mention that he didn’t deliver enough of a blow to HVT before going up top. Big mistake for Mak, and now he’s gonna pay for it.

 

Francis rolls on the canvas holding his head, which whipped back and hit the canvas, while HVT takes a few moments to recuperate from previous damage. He then goes over to Mak, and delivers a hard stomp to his head that keeps the Franchise on the canvas. Breathing heavy and rotating his shoulders to check their injure status, Thugg grabs Francis and raises him back to his feet. He whips Francis to the far side ropes, and when Mak returns, he is dropped quickly by a boot to the face!

 

(Comet) – Thugg with a big boot that nearly takes Mak’s head off!

 

Wasting no time, Thugg bounces off the right side ropes, leaps into the air, and then drops a huge leg on Mak’s throat!

 

(Riley) – And then the leg drop!! I think Mak had his chance, and now he’s done…he won’t get another one.

 

The fans have been totally silenced at this point, and HVT gets back to his feet quickly.

 

“Time for you to say those words yo!”

 

HVT reaches down and grabs Francis like a rag doll, by the waist, and pulls him back up to his feet. Maintaining his hold on Mak’s waist, HVT pulls his adversary into his own body, wraps both arms tight around his midsection, and lifts him slightly off the ground as he squeezes Mak’s body tight!

 

(Riley) – A Bearhug! A Bearhug Comet! I haven’t seen that one in ages!

 

(Comet) – It’s such a tough hold to get out of…this is a tough situation for Mak Francis!

 

(Riley) – Not to mention that it takes its toll on the victim as the match continues.

 

Francis screams out as Thugg squeezes his body as hard as he can, attempting to suck the life right out of Mak’s body.

 

“C’mon, let’s hear it…let’s hear that snap!”

 

Hardcastle comes over with the microphone and thrusts it into Mak’s face…

 

(Francis) – AHHHHHHHH!!!! NO WAY…NO WAY!!

 

 

 

 

…and that just makes HVT squeeze that much harder!

 

(Comet) – Thugg is just ripping the life from Francis right now with that soul-sucking bearhug! But I don’t think that Francis is going to give this one up.

 

(Riley) – Oh yes he is! Or Thugg’s gonna break his ribs!

 

 

HVT squeezes even tighter on his much smaller victim, and Francis looks desperate now. His head is starting to droop a bit and he appears to be faint…

 

“FRAN-CIS!”

 

“FRAN-CIS!”

 

“FRAN-CIS!”

 

“FRAN-CIS!”

 

…but the crowd awakens him despite the pain in his ribs.

 

(Comet) - …but listen to this crowd Riley! They’re right behind Mak Francis, and it looks like he hears their cries!

 

Francis pushes back on HVT’s shoulders while Thugg tries to squeeze harder, and delivers a hard right hand to Thugg’s head!

 

 

RAAAAA!!

 

 

(Comet) – Right hand by Francis…

 

Francis follows his right hand up with a second right, and the fans eat it up as Thugg’s grip starts to give. Francis then pulls both hands out away from his body, and then brings them in hard against both sides of Thugg’s head!!

 

(Comet) – And an Ear Clap from the Franchise to break the hold!!

 

(Riley) – Oh come on! That’s an illegal move…he can’t use an ear clap!

 

(Comet) – Yeah, I’ll give you that…but, remember Bobby, it’s no DQ. You can’t try to change the rules in the middle like that…

 

(Riley) – I can, and I will! Damn, bloody cheaters.

 

With the crowd screaming at the top of their lungs, HVT is forced to drop the Franchise after the ear clap, and he turns away from his weakened adversary holding the side of his head while Francis falls to one knee. Totally feeding off the crowd, Mak gets back to his feet and darts to the left side ropes, where he rebounds, and looks to score big on his gigantic opponent. Francis runs towards Thugg, but out of no where, HVT turns around, lunges forward, and delivers the stiffest clothesline known to man, that actually makes Mak Francis spin around in the air before landing on the canvas in severe pain!

 

(Riley) – Well, that certainly silenced this crowd.

 

(Comet) – You said it…Francis was really feeding off of them tonight, and he’s gonna need them to get back into this matchup. He’s in real trouble, so he better come up with something fast to pull this crowd back in.

 

Francis writhes on the canvas holding his neck, while Thugg gets back to his feet after going down to his knees from the sheer force of the clothesline. He grabs Mak up to his feet, and quickly dips down and presses the Franchise over his head. He walks around the ring for just a bit, with Francis helpless to do anything, until HVT walks over to the far left corner and drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle. The blow forces Francis upright and makes his hop around the ring holding his face in pain.

 

(Riley) – Forget that crowd…that’s Mak’s problem. He’s so busy playing to the crowd and not paying enough attention to the task at hand. He had Thugg on the ropes early in this match, but he spent all that time showboating, and now look at him. He’s about to be buried by the big man…

 

As Francis hops by Thugg, HVT grabs him and throws him back into the corner, where he delivers a hard back elbow to Mak’s face. He then rears back his huge paw and…

 

 

SLAP!!

 

“Oooo!”

 

…delivers an ear-piercing open-handed slap to the chest of Mak Francis!

 

(Comet) – And there are those famous slaps by Thugg that can make any man squeal like a woman.

 

 

SLAP!!

 

“Oooo!”

 

Francis cringes in pain from the slap to the chest, which makes HVT happy, but makes the fans loathe him. After slapping Francis a third time, HVT gets under him, and lifts him up to a seated position on the top turnbuckle. The fans scream out for a Mak Francis comeback as HVT mounts the second turnbuckle and thrusts Mak into another Front Face Lock!

 

(Comet) – It looks like Thugg is going for a high risk maneuver here, but I think this is a bad idea for him. It’s out of his usual realm, and he is not very comfortable with top rope maneuvers.

 

(Riley) – What are you talking about? I remember, when he was in the JL, watching him constantly land that top rope clothesline.

 

HVT tries to find his footing to get up to the top, and pull Francis into a standing position, while the fans continue to try and rally their hero…

 

(Comet) – Yeah, but he has changed so much from his days in the SJL. He’s a power wrestler and a brawler…he has no business up top. And as far as I can remember, he hasn’t landed a top rope maneuver in a long time.

 

(Riley) – Well, then he’s due, isn’t he?

 

…but just as Thugg nearly finds his footing, Francis sees him unbalanced and shoves him hard in the chest, knocking him from his perch and hard to the canvas. The fans explode as Thugg crashes down, and Francis uses the time to catch his breath and recover.

 

(Comet) – See? Told ya…and now Mak Francis has a golden opportunity right here.

 

(Riley) – That is, if he can shake off all the abuse he’s taken thus far…

 

(Comet) – That’s true Bobby.

 

Francis, feeling the crowd once again, pushes himself to a standing position on the top turnbuckle, looking for a huge aerial to…

 

 

AHHHHHH!

 

 

…but Thugg throws his huge body into the far ropes, shaking them violently, thus causing Mak Francis to fall back onto the top turnbuckle, straddling them!

 

(Comet) – And it looks like Francis wasn’t able to shake the abuse quickly enough and Thugg knocks him off that top rope.

 

(Riley) – And in the most painful way, I might add.

 

The fans return to their seats as Thugg stands to his feet to find Mak Francis sitting atop the turnbuckle in the far left corner. From a few feet away, Thugg takes a running start towards Francis, raises his boot, and drives it hard into Mak’s face, knocking him from the top turnbuckle to the floor on the outside!!

 

(Riley) – HOLY CRAP! DID YOU SEE THAT COMET?!?

 

(Comet) – I sure did Bobby! That was one hell of a big boot by Thugg there! Francis looks really hurt out here after taking that spill from the top turnbuckle.

 

The fans all get up at the shot, and a very small “HOLY SHIT” chant starts up, meanwhile, HVT grabs the microphone from across the ring, and then exits on the far side of the squared circle. He places the microphone on the ring apron, and then helps the rising Francis to his feet. He then takes the back of Mak’s head, and uses it to throw him face first into the steel ring post, causing all in attendance to gasp!

 

(Comet) – And then a shot to the ring post! Thugg is dominating Mak Francis right now…totally dominating him.

 

(Riley) – I’m not surprised. This was a stupid stipulation for Mak to choose for this match. He put himself right in Thugg’s world of unadulterated violence with no consequences.

 

(Comet) – Now that, Bobby, I will agree with. Mak wants to prove to Thugg and the world that he is the best, and perhaps he felt that to do that, he needed to beat Thugg in a match that caters to Thugg’s violent, brawling style.

 

With the fans feeling as defeated as Mak Francis, Thugg grabs his opponent and brings him back to his feet. He then grabs Mak’s arm and pulls him as hard as he can, whipping him across the outside area…

 

 

 

 

CLANG!!!

 

 

 

…and Francis crashes head first into the steel ring steps, totally dislodging the top portion from the bottom portion!

 

(Comet) – And now Francis goes head first into those unforgiving ring steps! He is taking a beating the likes he has never seen before!

 

(Riley) – Which is why he should just give it up right now and end this massacre.

 

(Comet) – I think Francis might have just a little bit left in him…just enough to make a comeback if he could get the opportunity. But Thugg is doing a damn good job of staying all over the Franchise…HEY NOW!!

 

Comet’s reaction is to the fact that Thugg just ripped the protective cover off the announce table at which he and Riley sit. He quickly pulls out the monitors and tosses them aside, while Comet becomes angry with the beast from DC.

 

(Comet) – What are you doing? We need those!

 

HVT ignores both Comet yelling at him and the fans screaming for his blood, and removes all the monitors from the table. With the table clear of all erroneous material, HVT goes back to Francis, who is trying to pull himself up. He drags Mak by his head over to the cleared table, and after looking around at the angry crowd, he thrusts Francis into a Standing Head Scissors.

 

(Riley) – I think it might be time to clear outta here, eh Comet?

 

(Comet) – You’re probably right, but if Thugg lands this, we could see the end of Mak Francis follow.

 

(Riley) – Well, you can talk…I’m outta hear.

 

Riley dives out of the way, and Comet follows shortly thereafter, just as Thugg pulls Francis up in a Powerbomb. Just as Francis is up in position and Thugg is turning to throw him through the announce table, the fans explode to life once again as the Franchise delivers two hard desperation punches to Thugg’s head! Comet dives back for his microphone as a third punch forces Thugg to release his grip, and allows Francis to quickly grab on a front face lock, fall backwards, and drive Thugg’s head to the floor with a DDT!!

 

(Comet) – DDT FROM MAK FRANCIS!! HE ESCAPES CERTAIN DISASTER AND COUNTERS WITH A DDT! I THINK HE’S HURT THE BIG MAN!

 

The fans are popping for Francis like the Paris Hilton video just played over the SmarkTron, and Riley returns to his microphone…

 

(Riley) – You’re right Comet! That was on hell of a counter by Francis. I’m kind of impressed with his resilience, and even though it won’t help him tonight, it will probably help him down the line in becoming a great US champion or something.

 

(Comet) – I think Francis has more lofty goals than that.

 

The DDT grounds Thugg, who lies on his back staring up at the sky, but Francis is also down to take some time to recover. Francis is the first to get to all fours, but instead of getting all the way up, Mak crawls slowly over to the ring apron, and throws the apron cover back to reveal all the goodies underneath.

 

(Riley) – What’s he doing now Comet?? You don’t think he’s going to bring a weapon into this match, do you?

 

(Comet) – He’s done it before, and I think Francis realizes that he might not be able to make Thugg quit with his own two hands…not in his current state, at least.

 

Francis rummages through the hardware under the ring until he finds what he wants, while Thugg starts to get to his feet. Francis gets up from under the ring, and pulls out…

 

 

 

(Riley) – Rope? Huh?

 

(Comet) – I’m just as confused as you are.

 

Francis’s face tells a story of anger and pain, and as a weary Thugg gets to his feet, Mak comes up behind him and puts the rope around HVT’s throat! The fans roar with excitement as Thugg quickly grabs at the rope around his neck, but he is too late. Mak Francis pulls on both ends of the rope, tightening it around HVT’s throat and causing the big man to flail about comically.

 

(Comet) – MAK FRANCIS HAS SNAPPED!! HE’S GOING TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF THUGG WITH THAT ROPE!! I don’t even think he cares about the match anymore…I think he just wants to take Thugg out for good! And this is a good way to do it!

 

(Riley) – No…it’s a cheating way to do it! I mean, he’s choking him with a rope…how is that right?

 

(Comet) – I didn’t say it was right…but I will say that this will take some of the pop out of Thugg’s moves tonight.

 

The fans are at their highest point of the night as Francis pulls back hard on the rope, and then they become louder when Francis climbs up onto the apron, leaving Thugg on the ground to try to find air somewhere. With a free hand, Mak motions for the micrOphone, which Hardcastle brings to him promptly…

 

(Francis) – {hard breath}…GIVE UP YOU FAT BITCH…{hard breath}…GIVE UP NOW!!

 

On the floor, Thugg shakes his head no as he grabs at the rope choking the life out of his large body. Francis, totally in a rage, gives him a menacing look, and then climbs through the ropes and into the ring, pulling the rope over the top ropes to increase the choke on Thugg.

 

(Riley) – HE’S HANGING HIM COMET! THIS ISN’T RIGHT…WHAT KIND OF MAN WOULD HANG ANOTHER IN THIS DAY AND AGE!

 

(Comet) – A desperate man Bobby…a very desperate man. Francis wants this more than anything, and I think he just might get it right here. I don’t see what Thugg is going to do here, and if this continues for much longer, Thugg will probably just pass out.

 

(Francis) – {hard breath}…QUIT GODDAMMIT!

 

(Riley) – What happens then? Does Francis win?

 

(Comet) – I don’t know…I’m more worried now of Thugg’s health. This kind of choking could seriously injure Thugg for a long time, if not kill him. Someone needs to stop Francis here and force him to stop this course of action.

 

(Francis) – {hard breath}…JUST QUIT…{hard breath}…GIVE THE FUCK UP OR DIE!!

 

Francis, totally fed up with trying to make Thugg quit, tosses the microphone down, grabs the rope with both hands, and puts his feet on the top rope for more leverage. The extra leverage actually pulls HVT slightly off his feet, and now he is choked with all of Mak’s might.

 

(Comet) – Come on! Stop this!!

 

HVT, out of total desperation, reaches up and grabs the rope to keep from being totally hung by Mak Francis. In doing so, he pulls down to keep gravity at bay, and Mak pulls against him from inside the ring. The fans have quieted from Mak’s bizarre choke, but they start to pick back up as HVT pulls against Francis.

 

(Riley) – Come on Thugg! Don’t give up on me! Just hold on a little longer…

 

Nearly out of air, Thugg gives one last pull on the rope, which forces Mak to put his feet back on the floor, and release his hold on the rope. As a result, HVT simply collapses to the ground outside the ring, while inside the ring, Mak Francis goes down to his knees.

 

(Comet) – Oh geez…whew…Thugg finally gets out of the hold. I was honestly worried there. I don’t think Mak Francis realized what he was getting ready to do there…

 

(Riley) – Yes he did! He knew! He just didn’t care…that son of a bitch!

 

The fans are more or less stunned by Mak’s actions, but after a few moments pass, they start to cheer him again. Francis, on his knees, crawls over to the far edge of the ring after grabbing the microphone, and he peeks over the edge to see Thugg lying on the ground below, holding his neck and trying to regain his breath.

 

(Francis) – {hard breath}…You ready to quit yet bitch?

 

(Comet) – Putting Mak’s tactics aside, he’s got a huge chance here to make Thugg quit. The big man is very, very hurt, and it’s going to take a little while for him to regain his strength after losing that much air.

 

(Riley) – I’m sorry, but this is just wrong. To use that kind of tactic in a wrestling match…it’s just plain unacceptable.

 

(Francis) – {hard breath}…give up now and it’s over…{hard breath}…you can end this now…

 

(Comet) – I agree with your Bobby, but I think it shows you how much this means to both men, and how much they don’t like each other. For Francis to use that kind of tactic shows how much he dislikes Thugg and wants to win, and the same goes for HVT, who held on till the bitter end and did not give up! A lot can be said for that…

 

Francis puts the microphone down, and then slides out of the ring to where HVT is lying on the ground. On weary legs, Francis tries to raise HVT up by his cornrows, but Thugg’s dead weight just causes him to fall back to the canvas. Francis gives it another shot, and this time, he gets HVT to his feet and he rolls the big man back into the ring, with considerable effort.

 

(Comet) – And Francis takes Thugg back into the ring, and now he has the advantage.

 

Francis slides into the ring after HVT, who tries to get to his feet inside. Francis reaches his feet at about the same time Thugg reaches his, but Thugg’s back is to Francis and he is considerably weaker. Francis seizes the opportunity as he runs up behind Thugg, gets one arm around his throat, and locks on the Cobra Clutch!!!

 

(Comet) – COBRA CLUTCH!! THE FRANCHISE HAS IT LOCKED IN!! THUGG IS STILL SHORT ON AIR, AND THIS COULD END IT RIGHT NOW!!

[Guest Suicide King]

The arena explodes as Francis locks in the Cobra Clutch, but before he can get settled in with the move, Thugg reaches back, grabs Francis by the head, and flips him over his own body with a variation of a snapmare that silences the crowd.

 

(Riley) – But he doesn’t get it locked in!! Good counter from Thugg, and we’ve still got a matchup!

 

(Comet) – Wait! Francis lands on his feet!

 

Sure enough, Francis was agile enough to land on his feet, and with Thugg still very weary, Francis darts to the near side ropes, rebounds towards Thugg and…

 

 

 

 

 

SLAP!!

 

 

 

…GETS CAUGHT IN A ONE HANDED CHOKE-HOLD!!

 

(Riley) – YES, YES!!

 

(Comet) – Thugg caught him…

 

HVT uses most of Francis’s own momentum to lift him up into the air, spin around, and…

 

 

 

 

 

(Comet) – The Franchise is going for a ride!!!

 

 

 

 

BAM!

 

 

…and is planted on the canvas with a devastating spinning chokeslam!!!

 

(Riley) – UNTAMED!! UNTAMED CHOKESLAM OUT OF FREAKING NO WHERE!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT COMET?!?

 

(Comet) – I sure can Bobby, and I can also believe that Mak Francis is in big trouble right now!!

 

The fans are stunned back to their seats as HVT leans back on his knees, catching his breath as he stares at Francis lying on the canvas. His eyes turn bloodshot as rage takes over, and he snatches the microphone from Hardcastle…

 

(HVT) – {deep breath}…yo…you quit yet beeatch?!?

 

Thugg crawls over top of Francis and sticks the microphone in his face. Francis’s eyes stare straight up and appear to be glossed over as the fans scream out a resounding, “NO!” Mak’s eyes wander to Thugg’s, who waits impatiently for Mak’s answer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

KWAH-PPTH!!

 

…but all that can be heard over the speakers is the sound of Mak Francis spitting right in Thugg’s face!!!

 

(Comet) – HE JUST SPIT IN HIS FACE!! Mak Francis…balls of steel…spits in the face of Thugg, a man twice his size who has him in a very precarious position!

 

(Riley) – The nerve of that guy!

 

Thugg turns bright red with rage, a difficult feat for a black guy, and his whole body starts to shake. Then, with the microphone in his right hand, delivers a hard right hand to Mak’s head…and another…and another…and a right…and a left…

 

(Comet) – By gawd!! Mak Francis has officially set Thugg off! He’s on a murderous rampage, and Francis is on the receiving end of it!!

 

(Riley) – Now he’s gonna pay…oh yeah! Now he’s gonna freaking pay for spitting in Thugg’s face!

 

…and a right…and a left…until finally Thugg just starts slamming Mak’s head up and down on the mat! The fans are making noise, but it’s not cheering while Thugg rampages, and they continue to make noise as Thugg angrily exits the ring on the far side.

 

(Comet) – Where is he going now?

 

(Riley) – If he comes over here, I’m gone.

 

But Thugg doesn’t not visit the announce table, but instead, he immediately kneels down and starts to look under the ring.

 

(Comet) – Now Thugg’s going for the hardware…what’s he gonna get?!?

 

Thugg rummages while Francis pushes himself up to a seated position, and manages to scoot himself so that his back us against the far ropes. So beaten and battered, Francis just sits there while Thugg stands up at the apron and holds up the item he chose from underneath the ring…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Riley) – HANDCUFFS!!!

 

The fans start to boo loudly as Thugg holds the cuffs in the air, meanwhile, Mak is totally unaware of the weapon Thugg has chosen…

 

(Comet) – NO way! He wouldn’t…he wouldn’t dare…

 

…that is, until slaps the cold steel against Mak’s wrist!

 

(Riley) – Hell yes he will!

 

Thugg slaps one side of the cuffs on Mak’s left arm, which happened to be resting near the outside as he leans against the ropes. However, the single cuff has awakened Francis who realizes what the danger is, and he immediately yanks his left arm away, taking the cuffs with him, one side attached to his wrist.

 

(Comet) – Or maybe not! Mak’s not going to let him get those cuffs locked on! He knows what that would mean to this match…

 

Mak scurries away from the ropes on his hands and knees, while HVT climbs up onto the apron to go after Francis. Mak, seeing Thugg on the apron, darts towards him, grabs the top of Thugg’s head, and bounces if off the top rope, sending Thugg back to the ground below!

 

(Comet) – Hangman from Mak Francis, and here comes the crowd once again. He’s not going down with out a fight folks!

 

(Riley) – Damn…I wanted to see his face pounded in.

 

Thugg staggers to his feet on the outside, and just as soon as he gets up, Mak slings himself over to top rope, similar to earlier in the match, and he lands chest to chest with Thugg in a Cross Body Press…

 

 

 

 

…but Thugg doesn’t go down! Instead, he silences the crowd by merely catching a very weak Francis, and then quicky runs into the steel ring post, slamming Mak into it back first!

 

(Comet) – Francis going for that Cross Body Press again, but this time, Thugg catches him and slams him into that ring post. That’s gotta tweek the back just a little bit!

 

(Riley) – A little bit…it freaking hurts dude!

 

HVT takes a few steps backwards, and sends the fans into a chorus of boos as he rams Francis into the ring post again. After a third shot on the post, Thugg rolls Francis back into the ring, and quicky grabs both his left and right arm. Then, as the fans start to throw stuff, HVT brings Mak’s two hands together around the middle rope, and then closes the open side of the cuffs over Mak’s right wrist!

 

(Comet) – OH NO!! THUGG’S GOT MAK FRANCIS HANDCUFFED TO THE MIDDLE ROPE!!!

 

(Riley) – I do believe this will be over very shortly. Francis can’t do anything now to escape any attack that Thugg throws at him.

 

(Comet) – This is just wrong…this is not how this match is supposed to go. It’s not fair I tell ya…not fair!

 

Upon realizing that he has, in fact, been cuffed to the ropes, Mak Francis starts to kick his legs wildly, and he pulls at the ropes in hope of possible breaking the cuffs. The fans literally start to throw objects towards the ring, as they feel the end is near for Mak Francis, and Thugg stands angrily on the outside. He walks over to the timekeeper’s table, and retrieves the chair from said timekeeper, slamming it together to create a sounds of metal on metal.

 

(Comet) – No! NO! Don’t do it Thugg! Don’t do it! We’re not talking about a match anymore! This is damaging a person’s livelihood…his career! Don’t do this…

 

(Riley) – Oh dear god…

 

Thugg slides into the ring with the steel chair, and when he passes in front of Francis, everyone can see the Franchise’s eyes get wide as dinner plates upon seeing the steel chair and putting two and two together. Thugg immediately walks over to him and gives him about 5 boots to the chest before backing away and demanding the microphone…

 

(HVT) – {deep breath}…yeah bitch…{deep breath}…now what? I got your bitch ass now…{deep breath}…yo…{deep breath}…quit now…it’ll all be over, for real…{deep breath}. Just say you quit…{deep breath}…and you ain’t gotta taste my steel.

 

Mak stares at Thugg, his eyes still huge, and by the look on his face, he might be contemplating Thugg’s statement.

 

(Riley) – I think Mak might give up here.

 

(Comet) – I hope he does…there’s no need for him to go through the pain that Thugg is about to deliver. There’s nothing he can do to stop Thugg in this situation…he’s handcuffed to the freaking ring ropes!!

 

(HVT) – What’s it gonna be nigga? Give? Or do I gotta pound your fuckinn’ face in.

 

The fans scream out “NO” again, and Francis looks directly into Thugg’s eyes.

 

(HVT) – Have it your mutha fuckin’ way…

 

Thugg drops the microphone and grabs the chair by the legs with both hands.

 

(Comet) – NO! Please god no…don’t do this Thugg! You win…you win…don’t do this!

 

(Riley) – Yeah, Thugg…don’t do this!

 

Everyone in the arena screams for HVT not to do it, and HVT looks around the arena at all the screaming fans…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAM!!!!

 

…BEFORE SLAMMING THE CHAIR AS HARD AS HE CAN RIGHT IN THE FACE OF MAK FRANCIS!!!

 

(Comet) – NO!! OH MY GOD!!

 

Mak’s head rips back and then back up…and then slumps down.

 

(Riley) – I think Mak is out cold Comet…

 

Thugg grabs the microphone again…

 

(HVT) – Give yet??

 

Mak looks up at HVT, with a trickle of blood rolling down his forehead, and he mouths…

 

 

“Fuck you!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BAM!!!

 

…AND THUGG DELIVERS ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT TO FRANCIS!!

 

(Comet) – Come on Thugg!!

 

(Riley) – Wow…I can’t believe we are witnessing this. We’re going to see the complete dismantling of Mak Francis here tonight.

 

(Comet) – What kind of man would do this to another…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BAM!!

 

 

(Comet) …AHHHH!!! Thugg is an animal!! He’s a freaking animal! He’s not human because no human would do this to another person!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BAM!!

 

…and the arena goes silent…

 

 

 

 

 

BAM!!

 

(Comet) – Dear god!! SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THIS!! MARK?!? PUT A STOP TO THIS! GETS SOME DAMN PARAMEDICS OUT HERE FOR MAK FRANCIS!

 

(Riley) – Comet…I…I can’t believe this…look at Mak. He’s a mess…

 

The camera shows Mak’s face, which has been busted wide open and is now covered with blood. The rest of his body has gone completely limp as…

 

 

 

 

 

BAM!!

 

…Thugg delivers chair shot after chair shot!

 

(Comet) – Come on, seriously!! Get out here…Francis is seriously hurt!! Why are we letting this continue?!?

 

(Riley) – Finally Comet! Here they come…

 

The arena is very silent now, as the entire arena is in shock at what they are seeing. HVT goes back for another chair shot, but is grabbed from behind by 5 referees. Just as soon as the officials grab Thugg, a stretchers rolls alongside the ring to the rear, and two paramedics go to tend to Mak Francis.

 

(Comet) – Oh thank goodness. I…I don’t really know what to say…Mak Francis’s career as a wrestler may very well be over folks…by the hands of the animal…HVT.

 

(Riley) – He’s not moving Comet…

 

The paramedics unlock the handcuffs and slowly slide Mak Francis onto the stretches, while inside the ring, Thugg breaks free of the referees and starts to swing at them with the steel chair.

 

(Comet) – And now he’s swinging at referees??? What is wrong with him!?!?

 

The paramedics quickly roll Francis around the ring and start to head up the ramp, while inside the ring, Thugg grabs the microphone…

 

(HVT) – NO! FUCK NO! THAT BITCH DIDN’T SAY I QUIT!! DON’T YOU DARE TAKE HIM OUTTA HERE!!

 

The fans boo Thugg as he exits the ring with just the microphone, leaving the chair behind. The referees, who left with the stretcher, try to block Thugg’s path to Francis, but he takes a swing at them, and they all dive for cover.

 

(Comet) – What??? Thugg!! It’s over man! You won! Mak cannot continue! You’ve probably caused serious structural damage to his face and head, and ruined his career! Aren’t you happy?!?

 

(HVT) – BRING HIS BITCH ASS BACK OUT HERE!!

 

The fans boo even more loudly as the stretcher disappears into the back, and Thugg follows behind quickly. Several moments pass before the boos shake the foundation of the arena, and the stretcher rolls back out from the back, with HVT at the helm!

 

(Comet) – COME THE HELL ON!! THIS ISN’T NECESSARY THUGG!! HE’S DONE…YOU WIN!

 

(Riley) – I can’t support this! Thugg has gone too far…teeing off on him with those chair shots? And now he wants to force him to say I quit? That’s just plain wrong.

 

(HVT) – No fuckin’ way yo…you ain’t leavin here without saying “I quit!”

 

The camera zooms in close to show Mak’s eyes closed on his extremely bloody face.

 

(HVT) – Say something bitch!!!

 

But Mak says nothing…so Thugg turns the stretcher towards the right side of the stage, and to the dismay of everyone in attendance and everyone watching at home, he gives the stretches a huge shove, sending it barreling towards the edge of the stage!

 

(Comet) – NO!! SOMEONE HAS TO STOP THUGG!! HE’S GONE OVERBOARD NOW!!

 

The fans boo like mad as the stretcher approaches the edge of the stage, until…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…the cheering starts…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND MAK FRANCIS ROLLS OFF OF THE STRETCHER!!!

 

(Comet) – HE GOT OFF!! MAK FRANCIS GOT OFF THE STRETCHER BEFORE IT WENT OVER THE EDGE OF THE STAGE!!

 

(Riley) – How in the hell did he find enough strength to get off the stretcher???

 

(Comet) – Mak Francis is the toughest SOB I’ve ever known! He’ll never give up!!

 

Thugg drops the microphone in shock at seeing Francis roll off the stretcher before it went overboard, and the fans tear the roof off the arena with cheers as Francis uses a nearby Christmas tree to pull himself up.

 

(Comet) – And he’s getting up to his feet!! What heart…what courage by a bloody and battered Mak Francis!

 

Thugg, enraged the likes no one has ever seen, charges blindly at Francis, but Mak ducks his clothesline and Thugg stops just short of toppling over the edge like the stretcher. The fans are near riot level and not much can be heard other than their cheers, and when Thugg turns around…

 

(Comet) – A RIGHT HAND FROM MAK FRANCIS!!

 

…he is met by a hard right hand from Francis that nearly sends him over the edge!

 

(Riley) – Screw this! GO MAK!!

 

(Comet) – Yes, come over to the side of good Bobby!!

 

With the fans erupting for him, Mak uses every ounce of energy in his body to deliver another hard right to Thugg, sending him closer to the edge. A third right hand makes the big man teeter over the edge…

 

(Comet) – One more should do it…

 

Mak, with some distance between he and Thugg, takes a running start and….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…IS DROPPED BY A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE!!

 

BOOOOOOO!!!

 

(Comet) – NO!!!

 

(Riley) – Oh man…he was so close to making one of the biggest comebacks in the history of wrestling! But I think Thugg just took too much out of him earlier…

 

Mak lays on the stage holding his already bloody face, and Thugg pushes towards him. He reaches down and…

 

DING!!

 

…Mak Francis throws a forearm right up into his crotch!!

 

(Riley) – LOW BLOW!! LOW BLOW FROM FRANCIS!! HE’S BACK IN BUSINESS!

 

(Comet) – Heads up move from Mak Francis…but does he have enough to capitalize?

 

The low blow causes HVT to crouch over and step backwards towards the edge of the stage again. The fans are once again, awakened by the low blow, and Mak gets back to his feet, albeit, slowly. HVT stands up near the edge, and…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

POW!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CRASH!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RAAAAAA!!

 

…AND HE IS SUPERKICKED OFF THE STAGE!!!!

 

(Comet) – HE DID IT!!! MAK FRANCIS WITH THE SUPERKICK, KNOCKS THUGG RIGHT OFF THE STAGE AND HE JUST CRASHED THROUGH THOSE TABLES AND OTHER STUFF BELOW!!

 

(Riley) – OH HELL YEAH!! MAK FRANCIS IS MY NEW HERO! TO COME ALL THE WAY BACK FROM THOSE CHAIRSHOTS…MAN, WHAT A WARRIOR!

 

Francis immediately goes down to his knees, still very weak, and as the fans let him know how they feel about him, he crawls over to the edge of the stage to see the damage. He looks down and finds HVT laying amongst rubble that used to be tables, chairs, and a stretcher. He then stands up and looks around at all the fans screaming his praises, and then he looks down at Thugg lying on his back. A huge grin dawns Mak’s bloody face, and if it were possible, the fans get even louder!

 

(Comet) – What’s he thinking?? You don’t think…

 

(Riley) – No…he wouldn’t. He’s too weak…he wouldn’t do this…would he?

 

(Comet) – No, no…no way. He doesn’t need to do this…he’s proven his worth…he can just walk away and get medical treatment. That’s what he needs to do.

 

Francis positions himself properly on the edge of the stage, gives one more look to a motionless Thugg below, and then takes to the air!

 

(Comet) – OH MY GOD…

 

As Mak falls towards HVT, he tucks his knees and elbows, and then re-extends his body just before…

 

 

 

 

 

 

CRASH!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

…LANDING ATOP HVT WITH A FROG SPLASH FROM THE STAGE!!!

 

(Riley) – FROG SPLASH!! FROG SPLASH OFF THE STAGE!!

 

(Comet) – MAK FRANCIS WITH ONE HALF OF THE BROTHERLY LOVE LANDS A HUGE FROG SPLASH FROM OFF THE STAGE!!

 

The fans are trying to rush the ring area to just get a glimpse as they cheer Mak’s Frog Splash, and when the camera finds the two on the right side of the stage, it finds HVT lying motionless on top of a crushed table, and it finds Mak Francis motionless on the floor not far away.

 

(Comet) – Ladies and gentlemen, there is no protective padding down there. Both men have to be dead! I can’t believe Mak Francis risked it all to hit that Frog Splash. After all he’s been through tonight…with Thugg and those chair shots and coming back from that…I can’t believe he did that. He’s a man with no fear…and no quit!

 

(Riley) – I have to say, I have a new found respect for Mak Francis. He might end up dead after this, but he never says die, and you gotta respect that.

 

Referee Sexton Hardcastle finds his way down there, and when he arrives, he finds the same thing we all find, Thugg and Francis not moving.

 

(Riley) – So, what happens now? Both men look to be dead…

 

(Comet) – I don’t know Bobby. I think we have to wait…or maybe Sexton can call the match on account that both men are unconscious. I have no idea…

 

Carrying a microphone with him, Hardcastle weeds through the rubbish, and gets a better look at Thugg, who is just not moving. He walks over to Francis, and when he gets close to inspect, Mak holds his hand out for the microphone, sending the crowd into an unbelievable chorus of cheers!

 

(Comet) – Wait! It looks like Mak Francis lives!

 

(Francis) – Thugg…{deep breath}…THUGG…{deep breath}…You may have beaten me to a bloody pulp…but I will never quit!!!

 

RAAAAAA!!!

 

(Francis) – It’s over big boy…give it up!!

 

Not far away, Thugg opens his eyes, and he turns his head to see Francis using Hardcastle to pull his bloody corpse to its feet. Mak waits, leaning on Sexton, for Thugg’s response, but does not receive one. Instead, HVT turns onto his stomach and uses all he has to push himself to all fours.

 

(Riley) – He’s not giving up Comet!

 

(Comet) – That’s gotta crush Mak Francis’s spirit…he truly believed that Thugg would give up after that.

 

Francis pushes the microphone into Hardcastle’s chest, and stumbles over towards HVT, who is on all fours now. Upon reaching him, Francis delivers a hard kick to Thugg’s face that turns the big man over and sends him back down to the ground. The fans settle back in for what appears to be a long night.

 

(Comet) – Mak Francis has fought so hard and given so much tonight. He deserves to walk away with the victory here, and he just might as Thugg looks very hurt.

 

Francis reaches down and pulls Thugg up and shoves him in the direction of the ring along the side of the ramp. Thugg stumbles towards the ring and falls back down, rolling a bit closer to the ring. He pushes up to all fours again, but Mak delivers a hard kick to Thugg’s chest that sends him rolling further towards the ring. The fans nearby are cheering as Francis wipes some of the blood away from his face as he stumbles towards HVT. He reaches Thugg and grabs him by the cornrows and lifts him up, only to send him back down with a right hand that sends Thugg to ringside.

 

(Riley) – Here we go Comet! This could be it…it’s Mak’s chance!

 

(Comet) – He’s got Thugg back at ringside, and if he has any chance to take Thugg down tonight, he’s gotta do it now!

 

HVT grabs on the ring apron and tries to pull himself up, but when he turns around, Francis delivers another right hand that sends Thugg stumbling around the right side of the ring, clutching the apron to stay up. Francis meets him there, and shoves the big man into the ring after another right hand. Francis follows suit into the ring, and struggles to get to his feet, as does Thugg.

 

(Comet) – Back in the ring, Francis, as battered as he is, looks to finish this remarkable comeback.

 

Francis reaches his feet just before HVT, and when Thugg reaches his feet, Francis delivers another right hand…NO!! Thugg ducks the blow, and then…

 

 

 

 

SLAP!!

 

 

…LOCKS ON ANOTHER ONE-HANDED CHOKE!!

 

(Riley) – OH NO!!! NOT AGAIN!

 

(Comet) – Oh god…it was all for naught! Mak Francis is going for the ride again…WAIT!

 

But just as soon as Thugg slaps on the choke does the crowd come back to life as Francis gives HVT a hard shot to the kidneys with his fist, forcing him to release the choke. Mak quickly steps to the side of Thugg, reaches up around Thugg’s head, and dumps HVT with Russian Leg Sweep…

 

(Comet) – Russian Leg Sweep from Mak Francis, and he’s back in business!

 

(Riley) – Oh man…I can’t take this. Francis is so close to the biggest comeback in history. I’m going to have a heart attack watching this.

 

Even more quickly than before, Mak flips Thugg over onto his stomach, hooks both of Thugg’s arms, and then bridges over the huge monster!!!

 

(Comet) – CATTLE MUTILATION!! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN! HE’S GOT THAT BITTERSWEET FINISHER LOCKED IN!!

 

(Riley) – OH, IT’S OVER NOW COMET!! THERE’S NOTHING THUGG CAN DO! HE’S GOING TO HAVE TO QUIT!!

 

The fans go apeshit as Thugg screams out in pain and Francis arches his back as much as humanly possible as blood continues to drip from his face. Meanwhile, Sexton Hardcastle slides into the ring with the microphone and goes over to the two entangled superstars.

 

RAAAAA!!

 

“Whaddya say Thugg?”

 

“AHHHHHH!!”

 

(Comet) – He’s gotta give now! Not even Thugg can take this pain much longer!!

 

Mak arches his back more, and the fans scream for the finish when suddenly…

 

 

 

 

 

(Riley) – HE’S TAPPING COMET! HVT IS TAPPING TO THE CATTLE MUTILATION!!! I’VE NEVER SEEN THUGG TAP OUT BEFORE…BUT HE’S TAPPING TO THE CATTLE MUTILATION!!

 

(Comet) – He did tap that once against Stubby, but that was the only time. But still, it doesn’t count! Mak has to make him say, “I Quit” on the microphone!!

 

“ASK HIM!!”

 

“Whaddya say Thugg? You quit?”

 

“I…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I….”

 

 

 

 

 

AHHHHH!!

 

 

 

 

“I….”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I WILL NEVER QUIT!!”

 

 

BOOOOO!!!!

 

(Comet) – HE WON’T QUIT!! HVT WILL NOT QUIT! WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE HIM QUIT!

 

(Riley) – He WAS tapping, and if this was a normal match, Mak would have won. But it’s not…and Thugg won’t say the words!

 

Francis, frustrated, lets loose ever so slightly, and Thugg uses the chance to push up to his knees so that he is kneeling while Mak holds on the Cattle Mutilation. HVT then pushes his legs over his own head, and he flips over on top of Mak Francis!!

 

(Comet) – He broke it! Thugg broke the Cattle Mutilation!!!

 

HVT, as quick as possible, grabs Mak’s right leg, and stands to his feet where he puts Mak’s leg across his own shoulders, leaving Mak dangling along side him!

 

(Riley) – Stretch Muffler!! Thugg just countered the Cattle Mutilation into the Stretch Muffler, a move made famous by WWE’s Brock Lesnar (for those that don’t know).

 

(Comet) – And now Mak Francis is in great danger now! He might have to quit!

 

The fans are all on their feet, and just as HVT gets the submission locked in, Francis drives a fist into Thugg’s stomach, followed by a second, which forces HVT to drop Francis just as quickly as he got him up.

 

(Comet) – But Thugg couldn’t get it locked in, and Francis breaks it with a couple shots to the abdomen!

 

(Riley) – He knows that he can’t afford to get caught in any other moves from Thugg.

 

Francis falls to the floor as HVT doubles over and backs away towards the left side ropes, while Francis claws his way back to his feet. Seeing Thugg kind of just wavering there, Francis charges him, but just as he gets there, Thugg silences the crowd again by grabbing Mak up in a bearhug and then slamming him with a Bearhug Front Slam, but instead of slamming him in the ring, he turns and dumps him over the top rope and out of the ring.

 

(Comet) – But he just got caught in one right there! Bearhug Front Slam from Thugg, and Francis spills to the outside!!

 

(Riley) – This is bad…real bad for Mak Francis.

 

The crowd starts to boo as Thugg drops down to his knees and exits the ring under the bottom rope. On the ground outside the ring on the left side, HVT finds Francis on all fours, trying to recover from the spill. Thugg reaches down and grabs Francis up by the head, and he summons all the strength he has left to press Mak Francis over his head with a Military Press!

 

(Comet) – OH NO!!! Not this! Not out here!

 

(Riley) – Damn Comet! If Thugg hits this, Francis will surely have to quit! I can’t imagine anyone taking as much punishment as Mak has taken tonight.

 

With the fans nearby hitting Thugg with plastic cups, he turns Francis to face away from him, and then drives him to the thinly padded floor with a Front Press Driver!!

 

(Comet) – LAST STAND!! LAST STAND FROM HVT!! IT’S OVER…BY GAWD, IT’S OVER!!

 

(Riley) – Mak Francis is still my hero! To almost comeback from what he did…it’s remarkable to say that least.

 

HVT remains in the seated position after driving Mak’s head to the floor with the Front Press Driver, and Hardcastle comes running around the ring with a microphone. Thugg takes the mic from Hardcastle, but doesn’t bother to use it to speak. Instead, he merely shoves it into Mak’s face as he lie on his back on the thin pads.

 

(Francis) – I…

 

 

 

 

 

(Francis) – I…

 

 

 

 

 

(Francis) – No!

 

And the fans explode as Mak refuses to quit!

 

(Comet) – AND MAK FRANCIS REFUSES TO QUIT!! HOW CAN HE TAKE ANY MORE PUNISHMENT FROM THUGG?!?

 

HVT’s head drops from hearing that Mak will not quit. He puts the microphone on the ground before getting back to his feet, while Mak Francis courageously gets to all fours, the blood on his face still flowing freely. The fans are popping like crazy, but Thugg ignores them, and instead helps Mak to his weary feet and then…

 

 

 

SLAP!

 

 

…slaps on a one-handed choke!

 

(Riley) – But here comes the Untamed again! Mak may not have quit yet, but he is physically incapable of mounting any offense against Thugg right now!!

 

(Comet) – I know Bobby. I feel terrible for Mak right now. He came back from so much…if only he could muster an ounce of strength to stop Thugg right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And as if on cue, Mak Francis reaches out with both hands, and gives Thugg a huge shove, pushing him far enough away to make him release the choke…

 

(Riley) – Wait a second!!! Mak shoves Thugg away! Perhaps…maybe…

 

 

 

 

 

 

The crowd explodes as it seems that Francis is about to make one last gasp…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but then he immediately falls back down to the ground!

 

(Comet) – AWWWWWW! Mak Francis! What heart! What courage! But all he could muster was to shove Thugg away. He couldn’t take advantage!

 

Thugg stumbles backwards, and when he regains his balance, he sees a near dead Francis back down on all fours. He moves back in, and grabs Francis by both the back of the head and the throat, and when Francis is up on his feet, HVT releases the hand on the back of Mak’s head, leaving the Franchise in a one-handed choke.

 

(Comet) – And he’s got it locked in again!

 

This time, there is no shove, and the fans boo once again. HVT lifts Mak Francis high into the air, turns a complete 360 degrees, and then slams him to the thinly padded floor with his second Spinning Chokeslam of the night!!

 

(Riley) – UNTAMED! IT’S OVER COMET! IT’S FREAKING OVER! MAK HAS NO CHOICE BY TO QUIT NOW!

 

(Comet) – He can’t even mount any kind of counter-attack against Thugg right now. I think you’re right Bobby.

 

Thugg drops to his knees as Mak lays on his back, convulsing as he coughs. HVT, physically, not far from Mak’s state, grabs the microphone again, and he thrusts it in Mak’s face once more…

 

 

(Francis) – I…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Francis) – I…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Francis) – I…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Francis) – I…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Francis) - …BURN IN HELL THUGG!

 

 

RAAAAAAAA!!!

 

(Comet) – HE JUST WON’T GIVE UP!! MAK FRANCIS IS GOING TO MAKE THUGG KILL HIM BEFORE HE GIVES UP!!

 

The fans go nuts again, and Thugg nearly pulls his hair out as he can’t believe that Francis did not give up after that Untamed Chokeslam. Thugg crawls away from Francis and uses the apron to pull himself up, when suddenly, he gets an idea. He walks past Mak and bends over…

 

(Riley) – What on earth is Thugg doing??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND PULLS UP A SQUARE OF THE THIN PADS COVERING THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!

 

(Comet) – HE JUST PULLED UP ONE OF THOSE PADS COVERING THE FLOOR!! THERE’S CONCRETE UNDER THERE!! WHAT ON EARTH IS THUGG DOING?!?

 

(Riley) – Oh my god…I just got a thought.

 

However, just as Riley got the thought, the entire arena watches Thugg grab Francis back up to his feet, on which he can no longer stand under his own power, and drag him over to the concrete square he just revealed. Thugg puts a 95% dead Mak Francis into an inverted gutwrench position such that Francis is facing upwards. HVT pulls with all his might to yank Francis up in an inverted Last Ride position!

 

(Comet) – NO!! DEAR GOD NO!! PLEASE DON’T! THUGG, DON’T DO IT!!!

 

(Riley) – I CAN’T WATCH!!

 

(Comet) – NEITHER CAN I!

 

The announce both turn their heads, as does every fan in the arena. In fact, the camera man also turns his head, which also turns the camera away from the action, and all everyone at home hears is…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THUD!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Comet) – Oh no.

 

(Riley) – I think he did it Comet…

 

As the announcers speak solemnly, the fans all gasp and the camera turns back to find Mak Francis lying on top of the concrete square, not moving an inch!

 

(Comet) – Th…Thu…Thugg just hit the Thugg Passion on Mak Francis right on the concrete! I…I…I just can’t believe this…I can’t believe that he would do that to any human being. What he did earlier is child’s play compared to what we just witness HVT do.

 

The entire arena rings silent as they are all in awe of Thugg slamming Mak Francis face first onto the concrete with the Inverted Last Ride. HVT falls down on his BUTT after the move, while Mak just plain doesn’t move. HVT grabs the microphone, and crickets can be heard chirping in the arena. He puts it in front of Mak’s face, which is turned to the side now, and a closeup of Mak’s face reveals blood spilling out of his mouth.

 

(Comet) – I don’t think he can even say it Bobby. Mak Francis’s career may be over. Forget the “I Quit”…forget the match…forget everything…just get this kid some help please!

 

Mak says nothing, but HVT, not having the strength to do anything more to the Franchise, just holds the microphone at Mak’s mouth.

 

(Comet) – PLEASE!!! GET SOMEONE DOWN HERE!! PLEASE…DEAR GOD…SOMEONE HELP THIS KID!! FORGET THIS DAMN MATCH…GET HIM SOME HELP!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, over the speakers, you hear a spitting noise, and the camera shows Mak spitting blood out of his mouth. Then, the silenced arena hears…

 

 

 

 

“I…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I….Quit,”

 

 

(Riley) – It’s over Comet! Thugg has won, but goddammit…at what cost! Mak Francis is seriously hurt I think, and he still had the strength to say that he quit.

 

(Comet) – Honestly, I think that it took more balls and more courage to be a man and say those two words than it took Thugg to do what he did to this kid. AND WHY ISN’T ANYONE DOWN HERE HELPING MAK FRANCIS!!

 

DING DING DING

 

Just then, a whole slew of EMT’s rush down the ramp with another stretcher and head straight for Mak Francis. This time, Thugg does not put up any argument as he merely sits with his back against the ring holding a microphone with Mak’s blood on the tip.

 

(Comet) – FINALLY!!

 

Funyon doesn’t even bother to make his announcement as the entire arena watches in shock as the paramedics work on Francis. They load him onto the stretcher after putting a neck brace on the kid, and they start to cart him away. As they do, all the fans start to clap respectfully for the broken youngster whose career may be in jeapordy.

 

(Comet) – This is a sad, sad day for the SWF. What Thugg just did to Mak Francis is inhumane. Match or no match…the things Thugg did in this contest were that of an animal with no regard for human life…non whatsoever.

 

Comet’s tirade is broken by…

 

“MAK!!!”

 

(Riley) – NOW WHAT!?! HAVEN’T YOU DONE ENOUGH YOU MONSTER!?!?

 

HVT pulls himself to his feet and starts to stumble towards the ramp as the paramedics stop to see what the disturbance is. When they see Thugg coming up the ramp, the immediately motion for him to stop, as to not have a repeat of the last time they tried to get Francis out of the ringside area.

 

(HVT) – No, no…wait. {deep breath} Wait!

 

Seeing the sincerity in Thugg’s eyes, the paramedics wait on the stage as Thugg stammers up there…

 

(Comet) – Man…look at Thugg’s face. He looks like he’s near tears. You don’t think he feels bad for all this, do you?

 

(Riley) – I’ve never known Thugg to be a sympathetic man, but maybe this was over the line, even for him.

 

(HVT) – {deep breath} Wait.

 

HVT reaches the stretcher and he sees Mak lying there, his face barely noticeable through the blood.

 

(HVT) – Yo playa…{deep breath}…you said that you wanted my respect brotha…

 

The crowd waits and wonders…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(HVT) – But yo…with what you did tonight bro…you earned that shit!

 

RAAAAAAA!!

 

(Comet) – Would you believe that?!? Thugg is actually showing respect for Mak Francis! It only took a million chair shots to the head and being Thugg Passioned onto the concrete floor! But Mak Francis has earned the respect of Thugg. What a farce!

 

(Riley) – Come on Comet…I think Thugg feels bad about this. And I think he truly respects Mak Francis now, after seeing what he’s willing to go through to win this match.

 

(HVT) – You earned that shit yo…

 

The fans erupt into an ovation so large, the arena cannot contain it. And that applause only gets louder as Thugg reaches his hand down, and a very weak Mak Francis grabs a hold of it from the stretcher!!

 

RAAAAAAA!

 

(Riley) – Look at that Comet! A show of camaraderie! Thugg may be a vicious animal, but he knows when someone goes through what Mak went through tonight, they are one of the toughest sons of bitches known to man.

 

(HVT) – Yo, make some mutha fuckin’ noise for this man!! Make some noise for Mak Francis…

 

RAAAAAA!!

 

(Comet) – You know what…you’re right Bobby. Thugg’s actions were unquestionably the most despicable I’ve ever seen in this business, but right now, he’s doing the right thing to acknowledge what Mak had to endure tonight.

 

(HVT) – I CAN’T HEAR YOU! YOU LOVE THIS MAN, RIGHT?!?

 

 

 

 

RAAAAAAAA!

 

The ovation is so large, HVT’s next statement is just about drowned out…almost…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(HVT) – WELL, Y’ALL CAN GO TO HELL WITH HIM!!!

 

…and Thugg shoves the stretcher towards the right side of the stage…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BOOOOOOO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

…paramedics dive for it…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but they can’t catch it…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND THE STRETCHER AND MAK FRANCIS GO OVER THE EDGE AND OFF THE STAGE!!!

 

(Comet) – OH MY GOD!!! WHAT A…I CAN’T BELIEVE… THUGG IS A…A…FUCKING MANIAC!!

 

(Riley) – COMET!!

 

 

 

(Riley) – OH FUCK IT!! YOU’RE RIGHT! THUGG HAS NO PLACE HERE! HE’S AN ANIMAL! I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT AFTER ALL HE DID TO MAK TONIGHT, THAT HE’D PRETEND TO RESPECT HIM JUST TO THROW HIM OFF THE STAGE!!

 

The fans nearly riot as HVT stumbles to the back and his music starts to play. All of the paramedics rush over to the edge and look over the edge to try and locate Mak Francis. They find him, just as the camera does, lying amongst the previously destroyed tables and chairs and now a second stretcher.

 

(Comet) – THIS IS THE LOWEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE FED! THUGG…THUGG…HE NEEDS TO BE FIRED! HE’S NOT A MAN…HE’S A FREAKING MONSTER!! HE PRETENDED TO RESPECT FRANCIS JUST TO THROW HIM OFF THE STAGE! WHAT KIND OF…WHAT A…ARGH! I CAN’T EVEN TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE. THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I CAN’T WORK IN A PLACE THAT ALLOWS THIS KIND OF MAN TO REMAIN EMPLOYED! CUT TO A BREAK OR SOMETHING!!

 

The camera zooms in on Mak Francis’s bloody, battered, and broken body just before obliging Comet and cutting away to the next segment, while the fans nearly break through every security measure in the arena to go after Thugg.

 

Cut-away.

[Guest Suicide King]

It's Christmas time again

It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year

I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare me

Please stay away from home

If you don't wanna get beat down

Just leave the presents and let me be alone!

 

The Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio, goes EXCITEDLY IN ANGER~ as the SWF’s premier holiday event, Twas the Fight Before Christmas, EXPLODES back onto the pay per view airwaves! Thousands upon thousands of fans all cheer, wave, and flash the camera as the camera focuses on some of the signs in the crowd.

 

“I FLASH FOR FLESHER!”

 

“WE WANT WEEDWHACKERS!”

 

“Ph34r the ??? !”

 

“AVOID CONFUSION AND JUST CALL IT AN OHIO DEATHMATCH! FOR MORE HELPFUL INFORMATION LIKE THIS, PLEASE VISIT FORUMS.THESMARTMARKS.COM”

 

The camera finally pans to the announce table, where the SWF’s two announcers sit gleefully sipping egg nog. Riley is wearing a three piece suit with a Santa hat that reads, “Bah Humbug,” while Cyclone Comet is adorned in Rudolph gear, including antlers and, of course, a glowing nose.

 

“HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CITIZENS ACROSS THE GLOBE!” greets Comet, with a mile-wide smile on his face, “AND WELCOME BACK TO SWF’S TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!”

 

“Glad to see some people still have holiday cheer,” begins Riley, “…no, wait, on second thought, it makes me sick to my stomach. But please, do carry on.”

 

“Thank you, Bobbo, good to see you’re in the spirit for giving! In fact, I know two men who are going to be giving each other a HELL of a beating tonight-“

 

“Comet, you idiot, who HASN’T given a beating tonight? This is professional wrestling, for god’s sake!”

 

“I no-sell your argument, Bobbo. Nevertheless, I was referring to Dace Night and Charlie Matthews, two men that have become bitter rivals over the course of just one month! It’s quite surprising, actually, since these two men have totally opposite styles!”

 

“Surprising? Comet, that’s one of the reasons Grappler *hates* Dace! I think the best part is that this is over the Intercontinental Television Championship. Grappler has the biggest chance of his career tonight, and he’s going to take advantage of it and become the number two man in the fed. You just watch.”

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” booms the voice of Funyon from the ring, as the camera pans over, “the following contest is a TEXASSSSSS DEATHMATCH, and it is for the INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAAAAAAMPIONSHIP! There are no disqualifications or count-outs in this match, and the only way to win is by pinning your opponent for a three count. From there, whichever man cannot answer a standing ten-count will lose, and the winner declared the NEW ICTV Champion! Now, introducing the participants!”

 

And the lights go out.

 

The fans wait in anticipation…until the familiar opening chord of Metallica’s “Some Kind of Monster” echoes through the arena, after which they begin jeering mercilessly! As the Ohio fans continue showing their hatred, the colorful James Matheson steps out from behind the curtain, dressed as Santa Claus! With white beard, pot belly, and jolly laugh, Matheson begins showering the nearby fans with the contents of his sack! Candy canes! Chocolate oranges! Pez dispensers! Wonka Bars! Despite Matheson’s obvious show of generosity and love for the fans, they continue to boo him! Finally, Charlie Matthews emerges from the curtain, looking as determined as ever as he marches down the ring, oblivious to Matheson. He coolly walks up the steps and enters the ring as Funyon announces.

 

“First, the challenger! From Kansas City, Missouri, accompanied by ‘The Jolliest Man on Earth’ James Matheson, weighing in at 287 pounds, this is CHAAAAAAAAAARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAAAAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSSS!!!!!”

 

The jeering intensifies as Matheson laughs a hearty laugh at ringside. And then the lights go out again. This time, the crowd stops jeering and buzzes, a very loud buzz as smoke billows out of the entryway. “Captor of Sin” by At the Gates kicks into the stereo system.

 

And the fans explode.

 

*BOOM!*

 

Pyro also explodes as Dace finally appears from behind the curtain, ICTV belt over his shoulder as he walks to the ring, in much the same demeanor as Charlie Matthews.

 

“And his opponent! From Tampa Bay, Florida, weighing in at 252 pounds, this is THE S W F INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPION, DAAAAAAAAAAAAACE-“

 

FUCKING!

 

“-NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Dace slides into the ring, but before he can even do his signature metal horn taunt, Charlie Matthews blindsides him with a big clubbing blow to the back as Nick Soapdish wildly calls for the bell!

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

“And we’re off,” begins Comet, “beginning what should be a hellacious match! Both these men are willing to sacrifice their bodies for the ICTV Title…who will come out on top? We’re about to find out!”

 

“Comet,” begins Riley, dryly (!), “that was the most generic sound bite I’ve ever heard in my years of announcing. Did they make you say that?”

 

Night absorbs Matthews’ commencement blow, but Grappler corners the champion against the turnbuckle and begins raining fists against his face. Satisfied, Charlie grabs Dace by the arm and whips him across the ring to the other turnbuckle, but halfway across the ring, Night spins around, reversing the momentum. However, Matthews stands his ground, and pulls Dace in as he swings his free arm out, connecting right under Dace’s chin dropping him to the mat with a short arm clothesline! Immediately, Grappler drops down on top of the Champion in a cover as Soapdish makes the first count of the match!

 

“ONE!”

 

KICKOUT! Dace easily shoots his shoulder off the mat, but Matthews is relentless as he brings him to his feet. He again grabs Dace by the arm and tries to whip him towards the ropes. Night reverses the momentum again, this time sending a stiff boot right into the challenger’s midsection! With the Grappler doubled over, Dace swings his arm out and connects a HUGE elbow with the side of Matthews’ head!

 

*CRACK!*

 

The force of the blow hurdles Charlie against the ropes, of which he leans against warily. Ever the predator, Dace charges at Matthews, but he ducks down and pulls the top rope down with him, as Night’s momentum carries him over the top rope and all the way down to the floor!

 

“This match is akin to Vin Diesel and Paul Walker!” shouts Comet, proud to make a pop culture reference, “It’s just been FAST and FURIOUS!”

 

“Damn, Comet, the hits just keep on coming!” shoots Riley, snidely (!), “Wait, did I say hits? I meant misses.”

 

As Dace spills onto the floor, James Matheson doesn’t miss a beat as he walks over to the fallen champion, lifts up his sack, and slams it back down across Dace’s prone body! Night, unsurprisingly, doesn’t budge as Charlie walks through the ropes and joins Dace on the outside. Grappler brings Dace up and grabs him by the head, looking to connect his face with the solid steel guard rail. However, Night ducks under Matthews’ arm and hoists him up into the air for a BIG back suplex on the floor…but Charlie shifts his weight forward, and he drops ALL the way down, bringing Dace with him in a modified bulldog headlock that slams his face onto the protective pads! Grappler winces as he lands on his buttocks, but realizes Dace is in much more pain, and presses on.

 

“From what I’ve seen so far, Riley,” begins Comet, “Matthews has centered his offense on the neck of the champion. Of course, his only moves so far have been counters, but I digress.”

 

This is going to be great,” proclaims Riley, smiley (!), “Dace is usually the one dishing out the head drops, but Grappler is going to use his own psychology against him! I love it!”

 

Grappler reaches his feet and picks Night up, rolling him back into the ring. Matthews yet AGAIN presses his weight on top of Dace in a cover, this time draping his legs across the second rope as Soapdish counts!

 

“ONE!”

 

“TW – KICKOUT!”

 

Grappler growls in disgust as he lifts Dace up, this time wrapping his arm tightly around his head in a front facelock. Matthews keeps this fundamental hold on for a few seconds, squeezing like he’s never squeezed before. From there, he grabs Night by the tights and prepares for takeoff with a vertical suplex…but is halted as the champion sends a big elbow right into his midsection! And another! And a third! With Grappler reeling, Dace wriggles out of the front facelock and grabs his opponent around the midsection, lifting him into the air before dropping him down across his knee with an inverted atomic drop! As Matthews holds his precious in pain, Night grabs his legs and sweeps them out from under him, and fast as a cat, mounts the fallen Grappler and begins elbowing the holiday snot out of him!

 

*BOOM!*

 

“ONE!”

 

*BOOM!*

 

“TWO!”

 

*BOOM!*

 

“THREE!”

 

The crowd counts along with each elbow, until a foreign object goes sailing into the ring…

 

*BONK!*

 

…and the crowd begins jeering as a size XL candy cane, thrown by Santa Matheson, connects with the top of Dace’s head!

 

“What in the name of all that is extraordinary…” begins Comet, aghast, “Citizen Matheson just hit him with that…sugary object!”

 

“Ho ho ho, you gothic freak!” sings Riley, spryly (!), “How’s that taste, huh? Santa Matheson just went Prancer and Vixen on your ass! Err, head, I guess.”

 

Of course, the cane hardly affects Dace, but it’s the principle of the matter, damn it! Night dismounts Grappler, just as Matheson expected him to. Dace approaches Matheson, just as Matheson expected him to. So, if everything else is going to plan, why shouldn’t this? Santa Matheson swings his mighty sack from outside of the ring at Dace…but Dace moves. Matheson didn’t expect that. Night grabs his sack, much to Santa’s chagrin, and empties the contents all over the ring! Dace decides to survey the newfound weaponry at his disposal.

 

…

 

FIVE TEDDY BEARS!

 

FOUR BOUNCY BALLS!

 

THREE WHIPPED CREAM CANS! (…)

 

TWO BIG-ASS STOCKINGS!

 

AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE! (in a cage, of course)

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

Night first looks over the weapons in disgust, but, in typical Dace fashion, the wheels begin turning, as malice glimmers in his eyes! The Champion lifts a stocking, which is obviously filled with coal, up above his head, and turns around…

 

*BAM!*

 

…only to be met by Charlie Matthews swinging a…teddy bear at Dace’s temple! The champ drops like a sack of bricks as Grappler throws the teddy down and covers Dace! As Soapdish goes down to count, Matthews grabs a handful of tights AND drapes his legs over the bottom rope!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

*DING!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” begins Funyon, “Charlie Matthews has earned a pinfall on Dace Night. Dace now has ten seconds to answer a standing ten count!”

 

“Unbelievable!” cries Comet, “That must’ve been a loaded teddy bear! There’s no way Citizen Matthews would be able to pin Dace with simply a bundle of fluff!”

 

“Now Comet, why the HELL do you say that?” questions Riley, bile-y (!), “can you not accept the fact that Dace was just pinned by Matthews? You always go along and try to find some ulterior motive when a heel wins, even when you’re obviously wrong.”

 

“ONE!”

 

Dace already begins moving again, crawling towards the ropes.

 

“TWO!”

 

He holds onto the ropes for a second, shaking the cobwebs out…

 

“THREE!”

 

…and brings himself to his feet! Matthews looks shocked at this, but decides to continue to bring the pain by coming up behind the champion and wrapping a tight waistlock in. Grappler begins to arch back for a German Suplex…but Dace holds fast, keeping his ground, before shooting his leg back like one of Santa’s reindeer, connecting right with Matthews’ jingle bells!

 

*CHING!*

 

Grappler howls in pain as Night turns the tide, catching a short breather himself before positioning himself behind Charlie, grabbing a hold of his own waistlock. With that, Dace summons the strength to arch back, bringing Matthews up and over, HARD onto the mat with a HIGH angle German Suplex! The crowd roars as Dace holds onto the bridge, and Nick Soapdish begins to count!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

…but Grappler rolls off of his shoulders, breaking up the count! Matthews gasps for life as he pulls himself up using the ropes, facing towards the Ohio crowd. Dace is persistent, however, as he locks in another waistlock on Matthews, hoisting him up and TOSSING him over his head with a DANGEROUSLY RELEASED German Suplex…

 

*CRASH!*

 

…as Grappler lands neck and head-first on top of one of the coal-filled stockings! The crowd roars in delight as Matthews roars in pain, and Dace drops down and hooks one of Charlie’s legs, as Soapdish counts the pin!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

*DING*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Dace Night has pinned Charlie Matthews!” announces Funyon, to the cheers of the crowd.

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

Santa Matheson practically has a stroke as he pounds on the mat, trying to send tremors to shake Grappler off the canvas.

 

“ONE!”

 

“I think what we just saw,” begins Comet, “was a bit of one-upmanship. Citizen Matthews got a cheap pin on the champ, and Dace responded by dropping him on his head not once, but twice, to get a pin. It’s all about the mind games, eh, Citizen Riley?”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

“I hate to do this,” says Riley, reply-y (!), “but I agree with you, Comet. At these early stages in the match, it’s all about establishing dominance.”

 

 

“THREE!”

 

Matthews finally begins showing signs of movement, as Dace leans against the corner, catching his breath. Charlie rolls onto his stomach, and presses a mighty push-up as he rises to his knees.

 

“FOUR!”

 

Finally, Charlie reaches his feet, and turns around just in time-

 

 

*BOOM!*

 

-to have Dace charge at him, swinging his arm out and connecting with a HUGE lariat which immediately drops Grappler back down to the canvas! To avoid further contact, though, Matthews quickly rolls to his left, bringing him to the apron and then, upon further rolling, all the way out of the ring! Grappler pulls himself up and immediately consults with James Matheson, as Dace stands in the ring, looking more pissed than Dasher when he found out that Rudolph stole his main event spot. Deciding he won’t settle for this, Dace rolls out of the ring himself, and charges right toward Grappler! Matthews has his back turned, facing Matheson, but the manager quickly points the charging champion out, and Grappler ducks, as Dace connects with a BIG elbow smash on James Matheson!

 

*CRACK!*

 

“OOOOOOH!”

 

“JUSTICE!” rejoices Comet, “Justice may be the greatest gift of all, as James Matheson FINALLY gets what he deserves! Hallelujah! Hark! The Herald Angels sing! Glory to…”

 

“What a lousy ingrate!” says Bobby, snobby (!), “Dace Night, the man that represents the SWF’s Intercontinental Television Championship, just attacked a venerated icon of the Christmas spirit! How DARE he!”

 

Matheson drops like Santa after drinking spiked egg nog, but Night doesn’t get time to celebrate, as Charlie, still crouched, lifts his arm between his legs, connecting with a swift upper cut to Dace’s Christmas ornaments!

 

*CHING!*

 

The jeering commences as Dace drops to his knees, and Charlie scoops him up, hoisting him onto his shoulder. From there, Matthews charges at the ring post, sending Night’s face directly into it! Dace falls back onto the floor, but Charlie looks possessed as he brings Dace right up and towards the guard rail. With that, Matthews shoves the champion back and neck-first across the guardrail! Dace cries out in pain as Charlie walks toward and stands side-to-side with him, before sweeping his leg out and sending his neck right back against the guardrail with a Russian leg sweep! Night drops down onto the mats from the force of the blow, and as he sits there, Charlie begins removing the protective mats from the ground!

 

“Sweet sputtering Noel!” cries Comet, “Something bad is going to go down, Bobbo, and I don’t like it one bit!”

 

“Oh, come on, Comet,” shoots Riley, no-comply-y (!), “If Dace was doing this, you’d be singing ‘O Christmas Tree’ or something similar, you fickle bastard!”

 

Charlie brings the champion over to the unprotected ground and places him in a standing headscissors. The crowd immediately begins jeering, anticipating what’s to come. Matthews hoists Dace upside down and begins bringing him up for the vicious POWERBOMB…but Night begins fighting it! Dace tries to wriggle out, dropping down so he’s upside down across Charlie’s chest. To counter this, Matthews holds him in this position, and SITS OUT, driving Dace’s head into the unprotected concrete with a PILEDRIVER!!!

 

“SILENT SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“I have to concur with these fans!” adds Comet, “Well, I mean, it’s a very creative chant, and it rings truth! That was absolutely brutal!”

 

“These fans are desecrating the sacred spirit of Christmas! They’re comparing the night of the Christ’s birth with Dace!”

 

The crowd roars with a mix of that chant, jeering, and support for Dace. Matthews picks Dace up, rolls him back into the ring, and looks at the Ohio crowd before shouting a jolly, “HO! HO! HO!” much to their chagrin. Charlie rolls back into the ring and practically leaps on top of Dace, as Nick Soapdish reluctantly counts the pin!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

*DING*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Charlie Matthews has pinned Dace Night!”

 

The boos are overwhelming as Charlie rolls off of Dace, exhausted in his ‘victory’. Night remains unmoving as Soapdish begins the standing ten count.

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

While Dace is down, Matthews heads to the outside of the ring to check up on his manager, so that he can celebrate after the inevitable win.

 

“THREE!”

 

 

“FOUR!”

 

Charlie brings Santa Matheson up to his feet, and he groggily leans against the apron to recover. Grappler steals Matheson’s Santa hat, puts it on his head, and slides back into the ring.

 

“FIVE!”

 

Dace lifts one arm weakly up, as if to let the fans know he’s alive. He turns onto his stomach, and begins crawling towards the ropes.

 

“SIX!”

 

He reaches the bottom rope, as Grappler looks on from the corner, in shock. He pulls up on the bottom rope and reaches up to the second rope.

 

 

“SEVEN!”

 

Pulling hard on the second rope, Dace finally finds the strength to reach his feet, breaking the count! However, Matthews surprises him, pulling the Santa hat down over Dace’s face, before wrapping his arm around Night’s neck and placing his other hand on his forehead, locking in an even MORE dreaded version of the Sleeper Hold!

 

“This is unbelievable!” notes Comet, “and actually, it makes sense! Dace suffered a NASTY bump on his head outside of the ring, and though he recovered, Charlie is going to make sure that he doesn’t last any longer!”

 

“Well, duh, Comet,” says Riley, lively (!), “See, Grappler knows he can’t get a fall by submission, but if he knocks Dace out, there’s no way he’s going to be able to answer a ten count! Jingle ALLLLLLL the way, baby!”

 

Grappler continues his Sleeper/smother combo on the champion, doing whatever he can to completely knock Dace out. However, Night has this move scouted, and he begins charging backwards, sending Matthews back-first right into the turnbuckle! The force rocks the challenger, and he lets go of the hold! The crowd lets out a roar as Dace yanks the hat from over his face, sucks in a deep breath, and turns around. With that, Night begins wailing away on Charlie’s face with elbows!

 

*BOOM!*

 

*BOOM!*

 

*BOOM!* x 3!

 

Charlie staggers out of the corner, as Dace slowly but surely runs into the ropes, charging towards Grappler as he spins around, swinging his elbow and connecting right with Matthews’ face with a Rolling Elbow! Grappler collapses to the mat, but Dace isn’t quite done yet! The champion begins shouting “WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!” but quickly, he finds what he was looking for: the same, giant candy cane he was bonked over the head with earlier! Night mounts Matthews and lifts the candy cane up over his head, swinging it back down with all the force he can muster!

 

*CRAAAACK!*

 

The candy cane shatters over the challenger’s head as Dace remains on top of Grappler, shouting at Nick Soapdish to count the pin!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

*DING*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Dace Night has pinned Charlie Matthews!”

 

The Nationwide Arena explodes with cheers as Night gets up off of Grappler, and Nick Soapdish begins the ten count!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

Matthews lies, motionless, and Santa Matheson looks as sick as St. Nick after eating his last plate of cookies on Christmas Eve.

 

“THREE!”

 

 

“FOUR!”

 

Matheson can be heard screaming, “THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!” as Charlie looks completely knocked out.

 

“Kind of ironic,” begins Comet, “since it was Grappler trying to knock out Dace with the Sleeper Hold, but instead, he ends up being knocked out by elbows and a sweet Christmas treat!”

 

“FIVE!”

 

 

Now, Dace walks over to Grappler…and picks him up off the mat?!

 

“What in the HELL is he doing?!” shouts Bobby, knobby (!), “I mean, as much as I hate the guy, picking him up during a Texas Deathmatch just defies all logic!”

 

“Do you forget so easily, Bobbo?” questions Comet, “Earlier you said pins could be made just to establish dominance, right? Not to mention, Citizen Night could just be setting Grappler up for something bigger that’s GUARENTEED to put Grappler down for a ten count!”

 

Night shoves Grappler against the turnbuckle and slides out of the ring, quickly pulling back the apron and pulling something out from under the ring…it’s a Gingerbread House! Dace shrugs and rolls back into the ring with it, placing it down right in the middle of the ring. The champion flashes the \m/etal horns to the crowd, and they elicit a loud cheer as he pulls Charlie out of the corner and kicks him hard in the gut, doubling him over. Dace then wraps in a tight double underhook on Charlie, and hoists him up into the air at a tight forty-five degree angle, before dropping back, driving Grappler’s head right into the gingerbread house, shattering it as his head connects against the mat with the DEFENESTRATION! The Nationwide Arena crowd reaches a fevered pitch as Night rolls Charlie out of the gingerbread mess, pinning him once again!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

*DING*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Dace Night has pinned Charlie Matthews!”

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

Grappler is unresponsive as Soapdish begins his ten count, and James Matheson’s nails are bitten completely off the finger.

 

“ONE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“I told you, Bobbo,” says Comet, proudly, “Dace hit the Defenestration on Citizen Matthews, and now there is no escape! Plus, the force of the blow has busted the Grappler wide open!”

 

“Comet,” says Riley, un-shyly (!), “I think that’s just red frosting. But you know what? Right now I’m starting to feel a little nervous.”

 

“THREE!”

 

 

“FOUR!”

 

Dace paces around the ring, throwing the \m/etal horns at all sides of the Nationwide Arena.

 

”FIVE!”

 

 

 

“SIX!”

 

James Matheson is pacing around as well, drenched with sweat as he mouths off with some sarcastic fans at ringside.

 

“SEVEN!”

 

 

The fans begin buzzing in anticipation, as Matthews hasn’t budged an inch since being pinned by Dace. The champion himself, meanwhile, stands silently, watching Soapdish count each number as he awaits his impending victory.

 

 

“EIGHT!”

 

 

“NINE!”

 

The fans grow repeatedly anxious as they begin cheering louder and louder, when all of a sudden…

 

*CRACK!*

 

…Dace is hit from behind with a steel chair by Santa Matheson! The crowd looks on in shock as Matheson slugs Soapdish across the face, but then turns around to lock eyes with his ‘victim’. Night simply smiles a mile-wide grin at his attacker, and then asks him to do it again! Matheson’s eyes are saucers as he begs off, but Dace pleads with him to do it again. Reluctantly, Matheson decides to swing the chair…but shockingly, Dace catches the chair, or, more specifically, catches Matheson’s arm as he swings the chair and drags it down with him to the mat, scissoring it with his legs and using his arms to wrap in a tight Crossface on him!

 

“That’s the Code Black!” shouts Comet, “Dace hasn’t used that move in ages, but he made GREAT use of it tonight! I hope he breaks that Ebenezer Scrooge’s arm clean in half!”

 

“Hey!” replies Riley, (as the running gag finally dies), “I’m Ebenezer tonight. This…this is just like urinating in the snow! What did it ever do to you to warrant you desecrating it?”

 

“Bobbo, he just cost Dace the match. I think he has enough of a reason.”

 

Dace wrenches in on the hold as Matheson screams like a girl receiving cunnilingus from a snowman, and the Columbus, Ohio crowd couldn’t be happier.

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

 

Matheson taps like a Christmas Caroler after too much figgy pudding (like that’ll help) but Dace ignores this, keeping the hold in as hard as he can. Even the now-recovered Nick Soapdish comes over to Dace, telling him to forget about Matheson and continue the match. Night is so intent on snapping Matheson’s arm; he doesn’t even notice Charlie Matthews, who is now on his feet. Matthews charges over to Dace, and then drives his arms down across his head with a stiff double axe handle shot, which finally breaks the Code Black! Charlie yanks Dace off the mat and ducks under his arm, before hoisting him up into the air in almost a torture rack position, where he holds him for three seconds. After that, Grappler begins falling to his side with the Judgment Slam, but this time, he angles Dace’s head, dropping him right onto the mat on his injured neck! Matthews doesn’t hesitate in covering as Soapdish counts again.

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

*DING*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Charlie Matthews has pinned Dace Night!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

“And this is the critical point of the match,” notes Comet, “as both men are -or are growing- fatigued, and practically any move can result in a pin. It’s who has the power to break the ten count that will win this match.”

 

“Dooooooon we now our GAAAAAAAAAAAAY apparel…” sings Riley, “Comet, this is the greatest night of my life. I’m loving this!”

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

Dace immediately begins moving, and, despite holding his neck pin sheer pain, he rolls over to his stomach.

 

“THREE!”

 

 

“FOUR!”

 

 

Favoring his neck heavily, Dace pushes up onto his knees…

 

“FIVE!”

 

…and rises up to his feet! The crowd roars at the display of courage by Night, but Charlie no-sells it, as he grabs Dace by the arm and pushes him against the rope, whipping him to the other side. As he rebounds, Matthews reaches down and picks up a coal-filled stocking, swinging hard at the incoming champion…

 

…but Dace ducks! Grappler turns around, just as Dace swings a wild elbow right at Charlie’s jaw! Matthews drops like a sack of bricks as Dace simply falls on top of him, and Soapdish counts the pin!

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

*DING*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Dace Night has pinned Charlie Matthews!”

 

“Good god!” shouts Comet, “Dace just decked Citizen Matthews’ halls with boughs of holly! He may be out cold!”

 

The crowd waits for Nick Soapdish to start the ten count, but he doesn’t! The crowd begins booing, but Soapdish points to Dace, as he remains on top of Grappler.

 

“What a fool!” cries Bobby, “see, that’s an illegal move by Dace, and nice try, buddy! Soapdish is smarter than he looks, folks, and there ain’t no ten count goin’ down right now!”

 

As soon as Riley says this, though, Night simply…rolls off of Matthews, and Soapdish begins the count!

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

Charlie starts shaking the cobwebs out, running on pure adrenaline as Dace pulls himself up.

 

“FOUR!”

 

 

“FIVE!”

 

 

“SIX!”

 

Charlie pushes up, onto his knees…

 

 

”SEVEN!”

 

 

“EIGHT!”

 

…and reaches his feet, where Dace is waiting for him with a HUGE Yakuza Kick!

 

 

-which Grappler ducks! Dace goes sailing by as grabs him from behind, before using his fingernails to scratch all the way down Night’s back with a vicious back rake! The champion staggers forward, but Matthews turns him around and places him in a standing headscissors! The Ohio crowd begins jeering as Matthews hoists Dace up in powerbomb position, but then backs into a corner, aligning with the opposite turnbuckle! With malice in his eyes, Charlie charges forward, fully intent on slamming Dace’s neck into the turnbuckle…

 

…but Dace drops out! Immediately, still back-to-back with the challenger, Dace shoots his arms back and under Charlie’s armpits, hoisting him up into the air in crucifix position for the Black Nova! The crowd roars as Dace begins to drop down…but Charlie wriggles free and drops to his feet as Night lands buttocks-first on the mat! Stunned, the champion remains in this position, and a light bulb appears over Grappler’s head as he walks over to the one unvisited corner of the ring, and retrieves the cage containing a partridge in a pear tree! With all of his might, in a move that’s sure to get PETA filing a lawsuit against the SWF, Grappler brings the cage down across Dace’s head!

 

*SMASH!*

 

*SQUAWK!*

 

The partridge goes nuts and Dace goes DOWN as Matthews drops the cage, proud of himself. Meanwhile, at ringside, Santa Matheson finally pulls himself up, clutching his arm tightly, just in time to see Matthews walk over to Dace’s legs and lift them up, turning around into a Boston Crab!

 

“This is nuts!” screams Comet, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, actually, but just wacky and crazy! Matthews just used a partridge in a pear tree to take out Dace!”

 

“And it’s about to get better!” replies Riley, cheerfully, “Because if Charlie’s going what I think he’s going for, it’s going to be curtains for the CURRENT ICTV Champion!”

 

Matthews holds onto the Boston Crab for a second, but then cinches Dace up, until his head is dangling a few inches above the mat. With that, Matthews shouts, “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO DACE…” as he SITS OUT, DRIVING THE TOP OF DACE’S HEAD DIRECTLY INTO THE CANVAS!

 

“…a GOOD NIGHT!”

 

“SILENT SHIT!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“ON BROADWAY!” rejoices Riley, “That’s the move I was talking about! It’s a devastating piledriver that Grappler’s only used once before! Unbelievable!”

 

Soapdish drops down to count as Grappler holds in a tight pin on Dace.

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

*DING*

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Charlie Matthews has pinned Dace Night!”

 

James Matheson begins jumping for joy at ringside, despite the unbearable pain in his arm. Soapdish begins his count as the fans rally behind the champion.

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT! DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

 

“FOUR!”

 

 

Dace doesn’t budge, while Grappler slowly rises to his knees, and, using the ropes, he rises to his feet.

 

 

“FIVE!”

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

“SIX!”

 

 

“DACE F’N NIGHT!”

 

 

 

“SEVEN!”

 

…and Dace rolls onto his stomach, and towards the ropes! The crowd EXPLODES as Night grabs onto the bottom rope, reaching up towards the middle rope!

 

 

“EIGHT!”

 

 

Grappler is in SHOCK as Dace grabs a hold of the middle rope…

 

 

“NINE!”

 

 

 

…and begins pulling himself up, until-

 

*BOOM!*

 

-James Matheson socks Dace with the loaded teddy bear from hell, which sends him right back down to the mat!

 

 

…

 

 

…

 

 

 

“TEN!”

 

 

The crowd, in absolute stupefaction, goes silent.

 

The ring bell, on the other hand, doesn’t.

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

“LAAAAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN,” booms Funyon, “THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST, AND NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW S – W – F INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAAAAAAMPION… CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARLIE ‘GRAPPLER’ MAAAAAAATTHEWSSSSSS!!!!!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Charlie Matthews drops to his knees, exulting in the glory of (tainted) victory. Soapdish retrieves the Championship belt, and hands it to the new Champion, as tears flow freely from his eyes.

 

“This makes me sick!” screams Comet, “Dace was going to break the count, but James Matheson stopped him! This is a miscarriage of justice!”

 

“We WISH you a Merry Christmas, we WISH you a Merry Christmas, we WISH you a Merry Christmas, and a HAPPY NEW CHAMPION!” sings Riley, enjoying this moment of victory.

 

James Matheson slides into the ring as well, and jumps on Grappler out of happiness. The two men, battered, bloody, and beaten, bask in the glory of SWF Championship gold. One question, however, remains on everyone’s mind…

 

How long will it last?

[Guest Suicide King]

The Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio is still buzzing, on edge from the incredible slate of matches they have seen over the course of their evening. However, the crowd’s interest turns from the MOTY candidates from earlier in the evening to the giant structure hanging above the ring. The arena has been dimmed, and flashing lights illuminate the massive metal structure as it starts its slow, menacing descent towards the ring. Fans stop waving their signs in the air, stop haggling with the hot dog vendors, and watch the cell hit the ground with a soft thud.

 

“The fans understand what is about to happen, Robert” inserts Comet. “This next match, our penultimate match for the evening, is not one to be taken lightly. Instead, this is a matchup that promises to have no winner, as both men will be gone from SWF rings forever after the finale of this match! There is no tomorrow for Erek Taylor and the Boston Strangler! This is the final chapter in their long, storied history, and I feel that both men are truly happy that things will come to an end tonight.”

 

“Comet, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop being so goddamn melodramatic. The only way that either of these men will be happy is if they walk out of that cell with a W! Otherwise, they’ve failed, and they’ll never get a chance to redeem themselves.”

 

“Robert, generally that would be the case. But the Strangler himself has stated that he will consider himself a winner even if he tastes defeat. He strives only to fight as he knows he should. If he can stay true to his honor and virtue, then Strangler can leave the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation knowing that he has truly conquered his demons. If this does not make him a winner, I fail to see what else can.”

 

“How about WINNING, Comet? That’d make him a goddamn winner! These two have had two singles matches in the past. Erek beat Strangler at Ground Zero 2002, and Strangler beat Erek to maliciously retire him at Apocalypse 2002! Now, they’re gonna settle the rivalry, and one of them gets to have the winning record! Seems cut and dry to me, Comet!”

 

“Not all such things are cut and dry, Robert” replies Comet in a calm, thoughtful voice. “However, this battle is sure to be an epic end to one of the longest-running feuds in SWF history. Tonight, one man will try and reclaim his honor, while the other will try to prove that he has never had this honor to begin with. Funyon is ready to begin this battle. Good luck to both men, and may they enjoy success in their life after tonight.”

 

“Goddamn, you’re a sanctimonious bitch…”

 

As Riley continues to rag on Comet, the spotlights flashing along the length of the Cell go dark, and only single, solitary spotlight remains upon Funyon, who is within the structure. The fans are on edge, ready for this battle to finally commence. Finally, Funyon begins to speak, signaling the start of the last moment of two men’s careers.

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! OUR NEXT MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, AND IT IS A….HELL IN A CELLLLLLLLLL MATCH!” The crowd cheers at the mention of the stip, giving Funyon a chance to switch index cards and take a quick swig of water before returning to his announcing duties. “BOTH MEN WILL BE LOCKED INSIDE THE CELL! THE FIRST MAN TO RECORD A PINFALL WILL BE DECLARED THE WINNER! ALSO, THIS IS WILL BE THE LAST MATCH FOR BOTH THE BOSTON STRANGLER AND EREK TAYLOR!” The crowd boos the stipulation, obviously unhappy to see two men losing their jobs here tonight.

 

“It seems the fans are in agreement with myself, Robert. Nobody wants to see the SWF lose two incredible talents like Strangler and the misguided Taylor.”

 

“Don’t get me started with that misguided stuff, Comet…” mutters Riley.

 

Comet looks ready to pursue the topic further, but before he can, “Numb” by Linkin Park hits over the speaker system. “And here comes Taylor!” cries Bobby, who seems to be the only person happy to see him in the entire arena. The boos are simply deafening as Erek Taylor steps out onto the stage, clad in a pair of navy blue cargo shorts and a throwback George Gervin jersey. Taylor’s eyes are blazing with even more fury than usual as he looks around the arena, seemingly absorbing all the hatred being thrown at him by the 21,482 people in attendance and channeling it through his blood. Taylor continues to stare into every corner of the arena, taking it all in before straightening up and shrugging his shoulders a few times, loosening them up. He starts on his way down to the ring as Funyon cries out, “INTRODUCING FIRST! FROM ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA! WEIGHING IN AT 180 POUNDS, HE IS THE “WONDER KID”, EEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRREKKKK……..TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYLORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” Erek reaches the Cell, and paces around the outside as the Cell is raised approximately three feet off the ground. Taylor crouches down and slips gracefully into the confines of the steel. He shakes the steel structure lightly before slipping into the ring and pacing around, looking completely around his surroundings.

 

“Erek has never looked more ready for a match, Robert. Even his opportunities at capturing the World Title pale in comparison to the intensity that he’s feeding off of right now!”

 

“Of course it does, Comet! Taylor waited over a year to come back and take Strangler out again! Now, after a wait from Genesis three months ago, he FINALLY has the Boston Strangler one-on-one in the middle of a ring, in a place that Strangler can’t run and hide from! This is what he’s been waiting for since that fateful day in August 2002 when Strangler took away his job and his pride! This is Taylor’s RETRIBUTION, Comet!”

 

“One can only hope that Citizen Taylor remembers that there is a life waiting for him and Strangler outside this ring. He must make sure that he controls his emotions, and not the other way around.”

 

“Isn’t Strangler the one that deserves that reminder, Comet?” snaps back Riley. Just as Riley finishes that remark, “Numb” dies down, and the arena starts to buzz in anticipation of Strangler’s arrival. “Speaking of that dumb lug…” murmurs Riley just a moment before “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult explodes over the speaker system, possibly for the last time. The crowd, many of whom are already on their feet, rise as one as the Boston Strangler steps out of a MASSIVE round of pyro. The fans erupt for Strangler, giving the already-emotional Strangler all he needs to allow a single tear to drip down his cheek. “What a goddamn woman…” snipes Riley as Strangler raises both fists to the crowd, saluting the loyal fans before he begins his walk down to the ring with Funyon’s voice echoing throughout the arena.

 

“AND HIS OPPONENT, FROM BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS! WEIGHING IN AT 303 POUNDS, HE IS THE BOOSSSTTTTOOONNN…STRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANGLERRRRRRRRRR!”

 

Strangler walks slowly, savoring every second of the walk as he looks around the arena, saluting the fans once again with a raise of his right fist. He reaches the bottom of the ramp, and crouches down to crawl underneath the Cell. Taylor simply watches from the ring as Strangler bends over, with a slight grimace on his face, and slips underneath the chain-link barrier before straightening up while loosening his shoulder. “Strangler looks a little stiff here tonight” remarks Riley idly as Strangler climbs into the ring and starts swinging his arms around, loosening his shoulders. He quickly hops onto one of the turnbuckles and raises both hands into the air, playing to the crowd once again. A round of flashbulbs go off around the arena, and Taylor scoffs in disgust as Strangler hops down off of the turnbuckle and finally turns to face Taylor. Taylor has a small, twisted grin on his face, and Strangler just stares back, doing his best to summon up all the willpower deep inside of him for this moment. The two of them stare each other down in the middle of the ring, with the cameras exploding from every corner of the building. Taylor keeps flashing the same shit-eating grin into Strangler’s face, and eventually Strangler breaks the gaze, turning away from Taylor to stare out at the fans. Taylor’s smirk grows slightly wider, and he nods his head as referee Eddy Long places himself between the two men. He addresses both men, and gets a quick nod and curt response from both of them. He looks around, seemingly a little intimidated by the Cell, and turns to the ringside table, calling for the bell. And just like that, 16 months of history starts its climax.

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“And we have begun!” cries Comet as both men lunge for each other. Strangler goes for a lockup, but Erek ducks underneath the outstretched arms of Strangler and ends up behind him. He throws a sharp forearm that connects with the back of Strangler’s skull, but TBS simply whirls around and grabs Taylor by the shoulder. Strangler leans into it and hits Strangler with a hard shoulder block, which sends Taylor stumbling backwards. Strangler follows up by charging forward and dropping Taylor to the ground with another shoulder thrust. Strangler throws a quick blow which barely connects with Taylor’s side, as the Wonder Kid has quickly pushed himself back to his feet. Taylor charges forward, looking to land a lariat, but Strangler stands strong like a brick wall, and Taylor just bounces backwards, dropping quickly to the canvas before pushing himself up and dusting himself off, looking slightly embarrassed by the turn of events.

 

“This is definitely the Strangler that was SWF World Champion just a few short months ago!” cries Comet as he watches Strangler sprint forward and back Erek up into a corner, trapping him against the turnbuckle. He quickly starts throwing shoulder blocks into Erek’s unprotected chest, drawing a cry of pain from the Wonder Kid. Taylor tries to push his way out, but Strangler is just too strong from Erek, and an extra-forceful shoulder to Taylor’s sternum sends him flying backwards into the corner with a sharp THWACK! Taylor looks around, somewhat worried, and hops on top of the turnbuckle, looking to get something going. However, before he can embark on his flight, he feels a massive hand wrap around his leg and pull him down to the top turnbuckle crotch-first. The male section of the crowd winces slightly as Taylor reaches down for his crotch in obvious pain. Strangler throws a shoulder block into Taylor’s back, followed up by a hard elbow right at the base of Taylor’s spine that looks VERY painful. As Erek tries to nurse his back and crotch at the same time, Strangler grabs Erek by his spiky blond hair and tosses him off the top turnbuckle to the canvas.

 

“This is domination early on by Strangler, who seems intent on proving that he is most certainly capable of winning this match in convincing fashion” remarks Comet, who smirks at Erek writhing on the canvas in pain. Strangler kneels down, seemingly looking for a pinfall attempt, but instead places his forearm directly across the windpipe of Erek and starts applying pressure. Taylor starts squirming, trying to escape, while Strangler subtlely modifies the maneuver, placing the bone running down his forearm across the Adam’s apple of Erek. Strangler presses down harder, and Erek gags slightly as he squirms, trying to free himself. Finally, in desperation, he lunges forwards and sinks his teeth into Strangler’s arm, which sends TBS shooting upwards. Long screams at Taylor, then goes to check on Strangler as TBS nurses the arm, which has visible bite marks on it.

 

“This display is typical Erek Taylor,” shouts Comet in disgust, “using the most vile, underhanded tactics available to him in order to take a miniscule advantage!”

 

“Two things, Comet. Number one, this is perfectly legal in a Hell In A Cell match, where there are essentially no rules. Number two, Strangler had a choke hold applied. In a normal match, THAT would be illegal as well. Taylor was running out of air, and did what he had to do in order to break the dirty maneuver.”

 

“Biting another human being is nothing short of animalistic, Robert! There is no justification for this, regardless of the stipulations of this matchup!”

 

Long, apparently satisfied that Strangler is just fine, turns back and finds Taylor on his feet, somewhat out of breath and red in the face. However, Erek is wasting no time. He charges forward and leaps into the air, planting a picture-perfect dropkick into Strangler’s back. Strangler goes stumbling forwards, and braces himself against the ropes. Taylor pops back to his feet, with the fire glowing in his eyes, and sprints forward again. He leads with a running elbow, but Strangler manages to slip off to the side, avoiding the blow. Erek turns to face Strangler in stride, but Strangler uses his reach advantage to land a hard right cross to the side of Erek’s head. This gives Erek pause, and Strangler takes control of the match back. Strangler reaches out, grabs Erek by the forearm, and whips him towards the ropes. Taylor bounces off the ropes, and comes flying right back into a huge clothesline from Strangler, flipping Taylor over before he hits the canvas.

 

“What a clothesline from Strangler! This has been an incredible display of power by Strangler, and Erek has been unable to take advantage of the few opportunities that he has had here.”

 

Strangler drops to the canvas and drapes his entire 300+ pound frame over Erek as Eddy Long drops to the mat to make the first count of the match.

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

T….

 

 

 

NO!

 

“And Taylor kicks out after a one count. Strangler is using a frequent strategy of his, which is going for frequent pins in order to force his opponent to continuously kick out. This strategy should be able to wear Erek Taylor, who is MUCH smaller than Strangler, down easily.”

 

“In order to pin him, he has to catch him. And Erek Taylor was able to kick out after only one, Comet. He’s got a ton of life left, and that athleticism is gonna keep Strangler from taking him to the canvas all that often.”

 

Strangler grabs Taylor by the edge of his jersey and yanks him roughly to his feet, with Erek cringing slightly as he gets up. Strangler is looking totally into control, and he forcibly tosses Erek into the turnbuckle with a loud SLAM! Strangler starts throwing another series of shoulder thrusts into Taylor, slamming away with shoulder block after shoulder block to Taylor, who has no chance of being able to escape. Strangler finally relents after a moment, choosing to grab him by the forearm and whip Taylor. However, Strangler keeps ahold of Erek, pulling him back towards him before LEVELING Erek with another clothesine. Taylor hits the canvas hard, and Strangler drops to the mat, once again positioning his entire body on top of Erek for the pinfall attempt.

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TW……

 

 

 

NO!

 

“And Erek kicks out easily again, although it took a little bit longer this time for him to do it.”

 

“Sure, it might have taken him a LITTLE longer! But who cares about that? What I care about is Strangler’s choice of offense here! He’s done almost nothing besides go at Taylor with shoulder blocks and clotheslines!”

 

“I’m sure that that will change whenever Erek finds a way to counter Strangler’s massive success with that technique, Robert” retorts Comet, which silences Riley for the moment. Meanwhile, Strangler is back on his feet quickly, and he takes a moment to acknowledge the crowd, whose support has been loud the entire evening. After a moment, he turns back to Erek and yanks him up into a standing position. Strangler delivers a sharp knee to the stomach of Erek, doubling Taylor over. Strangler quickly winds up with his right arm before sending it crashing down upon Erek’s exposed neck and shoulders. The huge hammer blow nearly drops Taylor to his knees, but he manages to stay on his feet. However, Strangler quickly follows it up with a similar blow with the left arm, which drops Taylor flat onto his face.

 

“More physical domination fro…”

 

“Just shove it, Comet.”

 

Taylor rolls onto his back, moaning, as Strangler shakes out the arm for a few seconds before turning back to Taylor. However, Erek seems to have found some hidden energy and slides through Strangler’s legs. He quickly hops to his feet and starts sprinting towards the opposite ropes. He rebounds off the ropes, and immediately launches himself through the air. Taylor crashes hard into Strangler, grabbing ahold of Strangler’s throat in a choke hold, and leans forward, trying to drive Strangler to the mat. However, Strangler manages to stay his ground, and then looks down at Taylor, who still has his hand latched around Strangler’s throat. Taylor looks up, with fear in his eyes for the first time tonight, just before Strangler’s right hand shoots forward and latches itself around Erek’s neck, drawing a huge pop from the crowd. Taylor quickly releases his choke and starts pounding away on Strangler’s arm, trying to break the grip, but Strangler quickly lifts Taylor into the air before swiftly depositing the Wonder Kid to the canvas with the Plunge. The chokeslam has the crowd going nuts for Strangler, and has Erek lying, dazed, on the mat. Strangler drops down to the crowd and makes the cover, which gets the crowd chanting along for the first time in the match.

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR…….

 

 

 

NO!

 

“And Citizen Taylor kicks out, but it is clear to see exactly how much damage has been wrought by Strangler here in the early going!” cries Comet as Strangler gets to his feet, and immediately signals to the crowd for the Boston Massacre. The crowd comes back to its feet, hoping to see a quick end to the massive feud as Strangler waits behind Erek Taylor, waiting for him to get to his feet. “What a remarkable victory this would be for Citizen Strangler” cries Comet as Taylor starts to stumble to his feet, oblivious to the roaring crowd in the background.

 

“Bullshit, Comet” snaps Riley. “No chance in HELL that Strangler lands the Massacre this early in the matchup. Taylor’s got too much left.” Taylor is finally back on his feet, and he dizzily whirls around to find Strangler waiting behind him. Before Taylor has a chance to react in his punch-drunk state, Strangler quickly scoops Taylor up into the air in a press position, with the crowd going nuts. “And…now!” cries Bobby, waiting for Erek to reverse the move. However, Taylor doesn’t react in the slightest, and Strangler drops Taylor to the mat with the HUGE elevated DVD. The Massacre sends Taylor bouncing off the canvas, where he rolls into a corner. Strangler rolls over and crawls on his knees over to Taylor, who is motionless on the canvas.

 

“What was that, Robert?”

 

“This isn’t happening….it’s over…just like that!”

 

“Despite your best wishes, Robert, this match IS over!” says Comet in a very fulfilled voice as Strangler hooks the leg and watches referee Eddy Long drop to the canvas to make the count, with the crowd chanting along at the top of their lungs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

“HE KICKED OUT! HE KICKED OUT!”

 

“This is…oh my…”

 

“HE KICKED OUT!”

 

Strangler looks down in disbelief, but Erek Taylor’s shoulder is stretched into the air. Taylor’s eyes are still closed, and he appears to be in a massive amount of pain, but Taylor is still alive in the matchup. “No one has ever kicked out of the Boston Massacre before! This is an incredible twist of events here!” cries Comet, still in disbelief as Riley’s grin is as wide as his face. Strangler just looks at Taylor for a while with the crowd buzzes, still surprised by the kickout. Finally, Strangler stomps the ground and snatches Taylor off the mat. Strangler lifts him back up into another press slam position, drawing yet another round of cheers from the crowd. “THIS one will do the job, Robert!” comments Comet as Strangler holds Erek above his head, looking ready to end this match once and for all.

 

However, before TBS can end things, Erek Taylor manages to slip off the side. As he starts to drop down, he grabs Strangler’s right arm and pulls Strangler down to the mat, applying an armbar. “Looks like Erek learned a little something the first time he was up there” comments Riley sarcastically as Erek locks on the armbar. He wrenches as hard as he can on Strangler’s shoulder, and Strangler yells out in pain before shaking Taylor off. Taylor, still badly weakened by the earlier Massacre, goes rolling across the ring to the far corner of the ring. Strangler gets to his feet, angered by the reversal, and goes charging towards the corner. Taylor manages to sidestep Strangler’s spear, and Strangler goes flying into the turnbuckles. A sharp DING! goes throughout the arena as Strangler’s right shoulder connects with the steel ringpost. A concerned groan comes up from the audience, but a GIANT smile comes up over Taylor’s face as Strangler lies between the middle and top turnbuckle as he winces, trying to unpin his shoulder.

 

“Uh oh, Strangler! Looks like you got stupid! Now it’s time for Taylor to go to town on that right shoulder!” cries Riley in glee.

 

“I remember before the match, Strangler seems to have some stiffness in his shoulders. Combined with this injury, I don’t like the way things are looking for Strangler here” says Comet as Taylor slips underneath the bottom rope. Taylor is still showing visible signs of the beating from earlier as he grabs Strangler’s right arm, pulls it out from underneath Strangler’s massive body, and winds back before slamming it forwards against the steel ringpost. Strangler barks out in pain as his shoulder throbs from the attack, but Erek Taylor immediately yanks his shoulder back sharply once again. Strangler winces from the uncomfortable bending of his arm, then howls in pain once again as Erek slams the shoulder against the ringpost. “He’s taking away Strangler’s ability to throw him around, which is his obvious offensive strength” explains Riley. “Now Strangler’s gonna have to come up with something that doesn’t involve too much lifting in order to take Taylor out!”

 

Strangler continues to lie on the turnbuckle, still in a great deal of pain, as Taylor drops Strangler’s right arm and drops to his knees. He lifts up the ring apron and starts rooting around underneath the ring, looking for some particular weapon. He tosses a tool box out from under the ring, which opens up, sending the contents scattering all over the ground. A trash can comes tumbling out as well, but finally Taylor emerges with a steel chair and a huge grin on his face. The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos, which prompts Taylor to turn around, matter-of-factly flip the crowd off, then turn back around as the boos reach a new level on the decibel meter. Taylor winds up with the chair, and sends it crashing down on Strangler’s right arm and shoulder, which evokes a scream from Strangler. Taylor winds back and delivers one more to the upper right arm of Strangler, drawing a duller moan from the badly injured superstar. “This has been nothing but a horrible destruction! This is hardly even a match!” cries Comet. “I am deeply and horribly sickened by the actions undertaken by Erek Taylor here!”

 

Strangler’s right arm is hanging limply at his side, draped over the bottom rope. Erek drops the chair and slips back into the ring. The crowd is silent with some boos as Taylor grabs Strangler by the ankle and pulls him off of the turnbuckles. Strangler drops to the mat face-first as he lies there, moving his left arm to try and feel the damage done to his right arm and shoulder. Erek offers a short, hard stomp to Strangler’s left arm, then grabs the arm and positions it so that it dangles over the edge of the ring apron on Strangler’s left. Taylor adjusts the arm’s position just a little, then springs over Strangler and quickly scales the turnbuckle. “Here we go! Erek Taylor at his best!” cries Riley as Erek goes sailing off the top. He quickly extends his leg, and drops a legdrop across Strangler’s left arm that has been left exposed on the apron. Strangler’s left shoulder is badly torqued by the sudden pressure, and his arm goes shooting downward as pain goes shooting through his left shoulder. “Look at that, Comet! He just took out the left arm too!” remarks Bobby in a glorious mood as Strangler rolls onto his back, in an incredible amount of pain. Strangler tries to check on his left shoulder, but his right arm refuses to obey the command.

 

Strangler looks around wildly with the same look an injured wolf has. He starts trying to pull himself to his feet, using the ropes for leverage, but Erek Taylor quickly strikes. Taylor comes springboarding over the top rope and crashes down on Strangler’s right arm with his entire 180 pound frame in a flying body splash. Strangler collapses underneath the weight, still yowling in pain from Taylor landing on his arm. Taylor looks around, positions himself between Strangler’s right side and the ropes before applying an armbar to the already injured right arm of Strangler. “That’s smart positioning by Taylor! Strangler won’t be able to reach the ropes at all!” cries Bobby as Erek starts torquing Strangler’s shoulder at a sharp angle, which Strangler is now unable to prevent. However, Taylor has failed to account for Strangler’s other arm. After a moment, Strangler looks around and spies the ropes on his left side. TBS painfully extends his arm before latching his left hand around the ropes. Strangler uses the ropes to gain some leverage, and rolls over Erek, forcing Taylor to break the hold to avoid being flattened.

 

“Looks like Strangler is using his ring awareness as well, Robert. That’s good veteran work to know exactly where you are in the ring, and to be able to escape danger. Even with rope breaks not in effect in this Hell In A Cell matchup, Strangler manages to use them to escape the hold!”

 

“That’s not veteran trickery!” screams an outraged Bobby. “That’s goddamn common sense! The rope was RIGHT THERE!”

 

“So then it was just poor planning by Citizen Erek to apply a submission when Strangler could easily reach the ropes, then?” asks Comet with a smirk on his face.

 

“After I’m done with you, you’ll know it was poor planning to pick a fight with me…” mutters Bobby angrily as Strangler once again starts to pull himself up off the canvas. However, Erek is on his feet behind Strangler, and he grabs ahold of both of Strangler’s feet. Strangler starts to struggle awkwardly, but Erek pulls with all the force his small frame can muster, and Strangler comes flying backwards off the ropes into the middle of the ring. Erek falls onto his back as Strangler falls flat onto his face once again. Taylor looks around at their positioning, then drops to Strangler’s left side to try applying an armbar once again, which draws a chuckle from Riley. “And look what happens! Taylor learns from his mistake, centers Strangler in the middle of the ring, and now he’s got ANOTHER armbar locked on! Strangler is in for a world of hurt right now!”

 

The look on Strangler’s face is one of pure agony as he looks around, quickly realizing that the ropes will not be providing instant salvation this time. He continues to look around, with the wild look returning to his eyes, while Erek positions himself kneeling above Strangler, simultaneously torquing the arm at a sharp, painful-looking angle while using what little mass he has to keep Strangler pinned in place on the mat. Strangler starts to shimmy forward on his belly, but his progress is slow with Taylor keeping him in place on the canvas and his right arm being nearly useless as a tool. Nevertheless, Strangler refuses to give up, and steadfastly shimmys forward, gaining mere centimeters at a time, as Taylor exerts all the pressure he can. The crowd, sensing Strangler’s pain and determination, has started to come alive again, with a “T-B-S! T-B-S!” chant starting to come to life in the arena. “Strangler desperately needs to make it to the ropes here!” cries Comet. “If he can reach them again, he can use them to help escape the hold as he did earlier. And right now, he desperately, desperately needs to do so!”

 

“He’s not gonna make it, Comet!” yells Bobby. “He’s gonna end up passing out from the pain, and Taylor can just make the cover for the 1, 2, 3!”

 

The “T-B-S!” chant has picked up steam throughout the arena, and the massive crowd is fully behind Strangler as he makes his way towards the ropes, with Taylor steadfastly holding onto his left arm, exerting pressure all the way. Taylor, realizing that Strangler is only gaining momentum, releases the armbar and grabs Strangler’s leg once again. Taylor starts to drag Strangler back to the center of the ring, but Strangler resists, acting as dead weight. Taylor tugs at Strangler, who is trying to turn on his side to look at Taylor, but TBS is staying dead put in the center of the ring. Taylor starts screaming obscenities at Strangler, with a glare in his eye, but Strangler somehow manages to swing his right leg around, connecting with an enziguri-like maneuver to the side of Taylor’s face. The crowd explodes into cheers, and Taylor drops Strangler’s foot as he falls backwards to the mat.

 

“And a major tactical error by Citizen Erek has given Strangler an opening to get back into the match! Taylor, fearing that Strangler would soon escape the armbar, willingly released the submission that had Strangler down and out! He tried to drag him back into the ring, but Strangler nailed him with, of all moves, an ENZIGURI to give TBS a small opening! That is nothing but poor execution and planning by Erek Taylor!”

 

Comet’s critical comments go unanswered by Bobby Riley, who simply watches as Taylor staggers to his feet, slightly stunned. Strangler painfully pushes himself up with his injured arms, which draws a huge groan from the superstar. Strangler finally makes it to his feet, and immediately has to contend with a charging Erek Taylor. Strangler quickly ducks down, and flips Erek over his head with a back body drop. Taylor goes WAY up into the air, nearly hitting the Cell roof before tumbling back to the ground. Taylor takes a moment, trying to shake out the cobwebs in his head before he gets back to his feet, with the pep that had been in his step earlier having disappeared all too rapidly. Taylor backs himself into the corner, still reeling from the surprising turn of events that has given Strangler an advantage. As Taylor tries to regain his confidence while in the corner, he looks up and sees the Boston Strangler charging towards him as fast as his 300 pound frame can go. Before Taylor can move, Strangler crashes into Taylor with a massive body splash that nearly knocks Taylor out. Taylor wobbles a bit, then crashes down into a sitting position, drawing a big pop from the crowd.

 

“What a splash by Strangler! Citizen Taylor is down and out right now, with Strangler firmly in control of this one!”

 

“The tide will definitely turn again, Comet. Taylor KICKED OUT OF THE MASSACRE! If he can kick out of that, I’m sure he has the ability to stage a comeback from a goddamn splash in the corner!”

 

Taylor blinks his eyes a few times, trying desperately to make sense of what has happened in the last few minutes. Strangler backs up again, and then charges forward before connecting with a running knee to the face of Taylor. Erek’s head snaps back and connects with the bottom turnbuckle. As Taylor rubs his neck, Strangler reaches out, extending his leg as far and as straight as possible, to place his boot directly on Erek Taylor’s throat. Strangler begins to apply more and more pressure to Taylor’s throat, and the Wonder Kid starts to gurgle a little as he squirms back and forth in a vain attempt to free his neck. “What a dirty move by that bastard Strangler! Who the hell is he trying to fool with this goddamn shit about being reformed?” accuses Riley. Strangler ignores the accusations coming from the announcing booth on the other side of the ring, and continues to force the air out of Taylor’s throat. Erek’s face is a bright crimson now as he gasps for any oxygen he can get. Finally, Strangler removes his boot, and a relieved Erek Taylor drops to the canvas and rolls out of the ring, delighted for the respite given by Strangler.

 

“Strangler finally allows Taylor to escape, but not until a good deal of damage has been done by Strangler! All that offense in the corner coming from Strangler using not his arms, but his legs to inflict damage! Strangler running around and using his feet to wear down his opponent is something that Erek Taylor definitely didn’t prepare for, and he’s going to have to adjust accordingly.”

 

“Erek Taylor is a smart guy, Comet. I’m firmly convinced that…”

 

“Here goes Strangler again on the pursuit!”

 

Strangler is now on the outside with Taylor, and gaining rapidly on him. Erek hears the crowd’s noise level raising and turns, only to meet a GIANT big boot from Strangler that takes him down to the ground. Strangler drops onto his knees besides Erek, with Strangler’s right side rubbing against the Cell, and starts throwing some punches into Erek’s side.

 

“I’m not sure if that’s the wisest idea for Strangler, with his shoulders in the shape that they’re in right now…” murmurs Comet out loud as Strangler, who is visibly wincing with each punch, continues to pound away.

 

“It’s obvious that Strangler doesn’t have much on these punches, Comet. Figures that Strangler would go back to these as soon as they became the least effective weapon in his arsenal.”

 

Taylor is still taking a good deal of punishment from the lefts and rights being thrown by Strangler, which are landing all over his face and chest. Finally, Taylor manages to swing onto his side and throws a sharp knee straight into Strangler’s gut, knocking the wind out of him. Strangler falls onto his side, and Taylor scrambles clumsily to his feet to free himself from Strangler’s clutches. Strangler is on his knees, obviously in a good deal of pain, and as he struggles to his feet, Taylor forcefully climbs back into the ring and to the top turnbuckle, with the force of his determination making up for his exhaustion and pain. Strangler staggers up to his feet, still somewhat doubled over, but before he can spot Erek Taylor, the Wonder Kid comes flying off the turnbuckle behind him and connects with a missile dropkick to the upper back. Strangler goes spilling forward and takes a face-first fall into the side of the Cell, drawing a big “OOOOH!” from the concerned crowd as Taylor rolls up to his feet, using the ring apron to help bring himself to his feet.

 

“Taylor’s going back to the high-flying offense that’s his real forte, which is a good move in my estimation, Comet. He needs to go back to his roots in order to get the upper hand in this matchup.”

 

“Judging by what I’ve seen tonight, I’d say that his offensive forte was a steel chair to the opponent’s joints” shoots back Comet.

 

Riley gives Comet an unpleasant look and replies, “You’re just jealous that your guy’s offense sucks ass.”

 

“He’s not ‘my guy’, Robert. He is fighting for everyone in this building…except for you. And for that, I feel sorry for you.”

 

Riley mutters something about already having a guy as Taylor walks over to Strangler and places his knee on the back of Strangler’s skull, forcing Strangler’s face back into the steel fence. Strangler’s face is contorted by the steel links as Taylor pushes harder and harder with his knee while talking trash to Strangler the entire time. Strangler braces himself against the cage with both hands and tries to push back, but his injured shoulders betray him, keeping him from escaping. Finally, Strangler manages to worm free from Taylor’s grip, but not before a few small nicks and cuts have opened up on his face. Strangler starts to get up as Taylor goes over to the steel chair he used earlier and pulls it out of the ring, with a twisted smile on his face. “Not again! Strangler’s arms can’t take any more!” cries Comet as Erek raises the chair over his head, ready to strike.

 

The first blow crashes down over Strangler’s head, which drops him back to the ground. Strangler rolls onto his side, badly discombobulated by the blow, and he looks up to see Taylor raise the chair once again. Strangler shields his shoulders as best he can, but Erek instead sends the chair smashing down onto Strangler’s right knee. Strangler screams in pain, and the scream only intensifies as Strangler takes two more brutal-looking chairshots to the knee. As Strangler reaches down to grab his right knee, Erek gets an evil look in his eye, and angles the chair slightly before sending it crashing down onto Strangler’s hand, which are trying to protect his knee. Strangler’s hands go shooting out into the air, and Taylor winds up again, this time targeting Strangler’s other knee. One chairshot, then another and another and another come crashing down onto Strangler’s knees, and the big man is lying helpless on the ground, writhing in pain. Erek finally chucks the chair down, hitting Strangler in the jaw with it, as the crowd boos Taylor mercilessly for the beating. Taylor turns, flips the crowd off again, then grabs Strangler and starts to roll the bigger man back into the ring.

 

“What a horrible, horrible display here! This…this….this is…”

 

“BRILLIANCE is what it is, Comet! Look at it! Erek got into trouble at the beginning of the match with Strangler’s clotheslines and power moves, so he took out the arms. Now, Strangler is running and kicking and even throwing some punches! So what happens? Erek takes out the knees and hands of Strangler! Now what can Strangler do? He can’t kick, punch, or lift Erek! This one is as good as over!”

 

“Erek Taylor has not even attempted to wrestle a match here! Instead, he’s done nothing but use weapons to attack Strangler in the most brutal way possible! Erek Taylor has proven once and for all tonight that he has no honor!”

 

“But he WILL have a W to end his career, which is something Strangler can’t have.”

 

Strangler rolls across the canvas on the inside of the ring, slowly nursing his knees. After giving them a quick check-over, he droops down across the canvas, stretching his limbs out over the mat, trying to relax and try to regain some energy. Meanwhile, Taylor hops onto the apron and climbs onto the top turnbuckle. The crowd looks up at Taylor, looking to see what he pulls out of his arsenal this time. Taylor readies himself, but instead of jumping out towards Strangler, he jumps straight up into the air as high as he can. Taylor’s fingers brush against the Cell roof and quickly lock around it, leaving Taylor hanging from the top of the roof. The crowd buzzes, surprised at the developments, and watches as Taylor starts going hand over hand across the roof of the Cell, lining himself up above Strangler. “LOOK AT THE INNOVATION!” screams Riley, nearly jizzing himself with excitement as Taylor hangs himself directly over Strangler. He looks down at Strangler, who is 12 feet below him, and then lets go of the cage. Erek falls, and lands with both his feet on top of Strangler’s outstretched hands. The CRUNCH from the landing is heard throughout the arena, and Strangler BELLOWS as he pulls his hands into his body, screaming like a banshee as Taylor, slightly favoring his left leg, looks down and laughs at Strangler.

 

“Every bone in Strangler’s hands could be BROKEN, Robert! Citizen Taylor has gone TOO FAR HERE! This will destroy Strangler’s hands for the rest of his life!”

 

“Strangler already destroyed Erek’s life before, Comet! I think Strangler getting his hands a little messed up is fair punishment!”

 

The crowd is booing EXTREMELY loudly as Erek looks down at his handiwork. Strangler’s face has some small cuts and scrapes from the attack against the cage wall earlier, his legs are out of commission, he can barely move his arms, his hands are bent at ugly angles (which are sure to be broken bones), and tears are welling up in his eyes. Erek just looks at Strangler and continues to laugh as the boos rain down upon him from every corner of the arena. “Pin him, dammit! Pin him!” yells Riley, who seems to be the only person thinking about the purpose of the match right now. Erek looks down and seems to contemplate a pin, but decides instead to wind up and kick Strangler as hard as he possibly can square in the face. Strangler flies backwards as if he was shot, and thumps down onto his back, looking for all the world like a broken, defeated man. Taylor laughs again, and repeats the feat, drilling Strangler with another brutal kick to the face while laughing his ass off.

 

“What a horrible, horrible human being! No one should take so much pleasure in this degree of pain that Strangler has suffered through here tonight. It’s despicable, cowardly, vile…this is the diametric opposite of all that is good about the world!”

 

“For the love of god, SHUT UP, COMET!”

 

Erek bends down, still wearing the big grin on his face, and pushes Strangler underneath the bottom rope to the ring apron. Erek springs over the top rope and lands feet-first on Strangler’s chest this time, knocking the wind out of Strangler once again. Taylor steps off of Strangler gingerly, looking all too pleased with himself, and kicks Strangler in the side, knocking him off the apron to the ground below. Strangler doesn’t roll, but rather lies dead on the ground like a sack of potatoes. Erek hops down off of the apron, and grabs Strangler by the back of the head again. He drags him over to the chain link wall of the cell and prepares to re-enact his earlier Cell-related offense when he looks over and notices the tool kit he threw earlier laid out all over the ground. Erek’s eyes glance through the pile of tools until they come to settle on one object partially buried within the pile. He walks over, and scoops the object out of the pile.

 

“What are those, Comet?”

 

Comet replies, “Those…those look like bolt cutters, Robert. I shudder to think what Erek has planned to do with those.”

 

Taylor walks over to Strangler, still holding the bolt cutters in his hand. He looks down at Strangler with a malicious look in his eye. He raises the bolt cutters up high…but instead of driving them down into Strangler’s unprotected face, he takes them to the side of the cage, and starts to cut away. The crowd, happy that Strangler seems to be out of mortal danger for the moment, starts watching as Taylor cuts through link after link of the wall, with the wire quickly giving in to the bolt cutters’ force. Every now and then, Taylor looks back and delivers a sharp kick to Strangler’s ribs and side, drawing small moans from the Bostonian monster. Finally, after a minute or so of work, Taylor has cut a line approximately 7 feet long down the middle of the cage, leaving a gaping hole in it. Taylor reaches out and pushes the chain, which has a good deal of give to it now. Taylor smiles even wider, and then turns back to Strangler.

[Guest Suicide King]

Strangler is still absolutely out of it, dazed from all the pain that has been inflicted upon him over the last 20 or so minutes, and he hardly reacts when Erek reaches down and grabs him by his long, stringy hair again. Taylor pulls him over to the gash in the cage, and pushes Strangler’s face up against the cut edges of the now razor-sharp steel. The crowd gasps, not sure if Taylor really plans on doing this, as Erek starts grating the sharp, pointed steel over Strangler’s face. The pain shocks Strangler back into consciousness, and he thrusts backwards a couple of times before finally freeing himself from Erek’s grasp, but the damage has definitely been done. Strangler’s face is covered in lacerations, most of which are bleeding heavily. The features of his face are quickly becoming less and less distinct as more blood pours out of his cheeks and forehead. The crowd is outraged once more, and a “TAY-LOR SUCKS! TAY-LOR SUCKS!” chant starts up throughout the Nationwide Arena.

 

“This makes me sick…it’s a revolting sight…”

 

“Strangler is always a revolting sight. This is no different that usual.”

 

“You can’t even see his face, that’s how much he’s bleeding! That, Robert, is a little different than usual to me!”

 

Taylor grabs Strangler again, and throws him into the area weakened by the cutting. Strangler ends up slamming into the chain, which almost gives, but bouncing back into the cell. Not satisfied, Taylor picks Strangler back up, and uses him like a battering ram to charge the side of the cell. This time, Strangler goes bursting through the hole in the cage, with the cut edges opening up new lacerations along his arms, including an especially deep one on his right elbow. The crowd gives a very, very minor pop for the men bursting out of the Cell, but as soon as Erek carefully steps through the cage, avoiding being caught on the metal fencing, the crowd returns to a heavy round of boos for Taylor. Taylor looks around the cage, and grabs Strangler by the shirt, pulling him up to his full height for the first time in nearly ten minutes. Taylor tightens his hold on Strangler’s shirt and hair before slamming Strangler’s head against the crowd barrier, which sends Strangler falling backwards. He bounces his head off the Cell, and falls on his side in the small area between the crowd and Cell.

 

“Comet, all bets are off now. These two have left the Cell, and they’re out in the open. Still, you have to figure that this match favors Erek now, as he has a lot more room to maneuver, and he’d be the clear favorite in ANY situation right now with the condition Strangler is in.”

 

“If there’s one thing I know, Robert” replies Comet, “it’s that I don’t want to be betting against a man as resilient as the Boston Strangler.”

 

Erek Taylor looks around the ringside area, calculating his options, then grabs ahold of the cage, starting to pull himself up. Strangler is struggling up to his feet, looking slightly energized, but Erek is soaring quickly, climbing the cage swiftly and surely. Strangler reaches a standing position, and looks up to see Erek more than halfway up the side of the cage. Just as Strangler reaches out to try and grab ahold of the cage, Erek Taylor launches himself backwards off of the cage into a picture-perfect moonsault. Strangler just watches as Erek comes flying down and crashing on top of him, taking both men down to the ground. Strangler hits his head HARD against the crowd barrier, which seems to knock him for quite a loop. However, Erek is dazed as well, as he too has seemingly hit his head hard upon impact. A small “HOLY SHIT!” chant starts up throughout the crowd, but the majority of the crowd offers nothing but silence for the Wonder Kid’s dominance throughout the match.

 

“That was a BEAUTIFUL moonsault there, Comet. Even you have to admit that Erek’s aerial maneuvers are things of beauty that will most certainly be missed here in the SWF!”

 

“Sure, it was a heck of a moonsault all right, but I refuse to give praise to a man as devious and cowardly as Erek Taylor!”

 

Taylor easily beats Strangler back to his feet, and he immediately begins to scale the cage again. However, this time he doesn’t slow down, and he quickly reaches the top. He stands up on top of the cage, 20 feet above the Boston Strangler, and stands in a mock victory pose, which draws an equal number of flashbulbs and boos from the Columbus crowd. Strangler has started to get to his feet, and through the noise rumbling through the arena, Strangler hears the shrill, obnoxious voice of Erek Taylor mocking him from the top of the Cell, daring him to make it to the top. Strangler looks down at his hands, and then to his knees, and then latches onto the side of the cage and starts to pull himself up.

 

“What is he doing? Citizen Strangler is in NO CONDITION to be climbing that Cell right now! He can barely use his hands OR his legs, and now he’s trying to climb 20 feet in the air! He could kill himself!”

 

“And odds are if he doesn’t, Erek will go ahead and finish the job for him” chimes in Riley, with a grin on his face.

 

Taylor watches Strangler slowly struggle to climb the cage while the crowd rallies behind Strangler, cheering him onward as he tries to reach the top. Strangler painfully pulls himself upwards, making slow, short, incremental progress. Taylor screams insults at Strangler at the top of his lungs, with the profanity directed at Strangler only urging him to climb higher, faster, harder. Finally, Strangler’s hands both latch onto the top of the cage, and Strangler, with a look of success on his face, starts to pull himself up……..until Erek Taylor smashes his boot down on Strangler’s badly-injured left hand. Strangler’s hand goes flying off the cage, and he BARELY keeps his place on the side of the cell with the other hand. Taylor places his other boot on Strangler’s right hand, and starts to apply pressure gradually, grinning from ear to ear as he does it. The crowd is horrified, afraid for Strangler’s safety, and the look on Strangler’s face is grin. Strangler’s knuckles start to slip, but as they do, Strangler swings his free left arm wildly at Taylor’s legs. His arm connects with Taylor’s knee, and Taylor collapses backwards onto his ass, totally caught by surprise by the blow. Strangler uses the opening to get both hands back onto the Cell, and to hoist himself on top of the structure. The panel the two men are on sags from the nearly 500 pounds on top of it, and the tension in the crowd reaches a new high as they watch the battle reach new levels.

 

“Now these men have made it to the top…god knows how Strangler made it…but Citizen Taylor will certainly be looking to finish things here.”

 

“Comet, do you even think Strangler really understands what’s going on through the maze of pain he’s in right now?” asks Riley, seeming serious for once.

 

“Strangler has been waiting for this match for months, Robert” answers Comet truthfully. “Even if his consciousness doesn’t know where he is, his subconscious does, and it knows how to react in this situation.”

 

“But Taylor proved that Strangler, on his most basic level, in his subconscious thought, is a vicious killer the way he used to be! This is the proof that Erek’s been looking for all this time! Here’s where we see the real Strangler shine through!”

 

“I certainly hope we do” says Comet quietly, with a mixture of hope and dread in his voice.

 

Strangler and Erek both get to their feet, with Erek beating TBS to his feet by less time than before. Strangler raises himself up to his entire 6’9” height and stares at Erek Taylor, who is standing at his 6’2”. The two of them stare each other down for a moment, with the crowd going nuts for the showdown on top of the world, then both of them lash out with right hands. Taylor connects first with his punch, but Strangler’s punch manages to pack enough power behind it to knock Taylor back a step. Strangler pauses to shake his fist, which gives Taylor enough time to recover, charge forward, and take Strangler down with a flying forearm to the forehead. Taylor’s move drops Strangler straight to the cage, which sags dangerously underneath the sudden force of Strangler’s bulk but manages to stay in place.

 

“Every time one of those men moves up there, and that cage bends under their weight, I get a giant lump in my throat…there’s no way that this matchup can end without at least one of them taking that fall to the ring below…and that thought terrifies me. Citizens Taylor and Strangler are both human beings, and one can only hope that they make it through this match in one piece.”

 

Taylor picks Strangler up off the canvas and applies a front facelock. He brings Strangler to one of the center panels of the Cell, keeping TBS hunched over in the facelock, before holding up a hand and signaling for a DDT. “Oh no..,” says Comet in feat as Taylor, with a hint of fear in his eyes, pulls down on Strangler and DDT’s him onto the cell….

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

 

…which manages to stay in place. The crowd lets out a relieved sigh as Taylor looks down at the chain link he’s standing on top of and curses to himself, obviously annoyed that Strangler didn’t take the 20 foot DDT he had in mind. “That move could have killed Strangler!” screams Comet, as relieved as the rest of the crowd. “Strangler is a lucky, LUCKY man that the cage managed to hold!”

 

“Well, Strangler’s luck is running out now!” yells Riley, who is still intently watching the action on top of the Cell. “Erek is calling for the Fame And Fury! He’s going to put Strangler through the cage with the Fame and Fury! Strangler’s not going to be able to walk for months!”

 

Erek is indeed signaling for his finisher, as he has Strangler back into a front facelock. He sets himself again, feeling the same pit in the center of his stomach that every fan in the arena feels. Strangler seems to be totally unconscious as he simply takes it, not even trying to free himself. Erek takes a deep breath, braces himself, then spins around until he and Strangler are back to back, and then delivers the Fame and Fury. As Strangler connects with Taylor, the two men start to fall….

 

 

 

 

…fall….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…fall….

 

 

 

 

 

 

…to the chain link below them, which has managed to stay intact once again. Strangler is lying on the chain, not moving, while Erek Taylor is BESIDE himself. Eddy Long, who has scaled the cage as well to keep an eye on things, is desperately trying to talk Taylor out of his decision, but the enraged Taylor doesn’t hear a word that the referee is saying to him. Taylor places a hand in Long’s chest and shoves him backwards, getting him dangerously close to the edge, and Taylor heads for the edge himself. He starts to climb down the Cell, which sends ripples of confusion throughout the arena. Taylor jumps the last few feet to the bottom as Comet exclaims, “What the heck is Erek doing here, Robert? Has he gone insane?”

 

“No, no, no! Look what he’s got! He’s getting the bolt cutters again! If he can’t put Strangler through the cage, he’ll just cut it open and toss him through! Brilliant idea by Erek!”

 

Erek, with bolt cutters in hand, climbs back up the cage as he talks to himself. He reaches the top of the Cell, and walks to the center panel that has twice resisted his attempts to put Strangler out of his misery. Erek starts to cut away, but quickly straightens up and looks out at the crowd. Even this simple action draws a major round of boos out of the crowd, but Taylor just laughs at it. As the boos start to die down, he screams at the top of his lungs, “BOO ME, YOU GODDAMN HICKS! BUT I’M GONNA THROW HIS ASS THROUGH THIS DAMN HOLE, AND THEN I’M GONNA FINISH HIM OFF FROM 20 FEET IN THE AIR, JUST LIKE I DID THE FIRST TIME!”

 

“Oh my…he’s going to toss Strangler down there, then give him the Fame and Fury X! That’s how Taylor won at Ground Zero, when he flew from the top of the SmarkTron to pin Strangler! This is insanity!”

 

“No, no, no, Comet. This is what is called an ending that’s meant to be.”

 

Taylor bends back down and snaps away at the hinges keeping one of the panels in place. After two quick cuts, the panel swings halfway open down into the ring, and that alone gets a big buzz from the crowd, who aren’t quite sure what to expect. Erek snaps away a couple more times, and as the final hinge is cut, the cage roof drops to the floor of the ring as the crowd pops huge. Erek smiles, drops the bolt cutters to the ring floor beneath him, and then turns around………………………………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

………to see the Boston Strangler standing up, on his feet, right behind him. As soon as Erek and Strangler’s eyes lock, Strangler screams at the top of his lungs and starts charging forward, straight towards Erek Taylor.

 

“Oh no…” says Bobby as the crowd explodes into cheers.

 

Erek moves a foot backwards, finding only open air behind him….

 

 

For all the troubles you’ve caused me….

 

 

…he finds no support, and sways a little, trying to keep his balance…

 

 

For all the lives you’ve ruined…

 

 

…he manages to right himself, and leans forward to get both feet back on firm ground…

 

 

For all the evil that you’ve done…

 

 

…he leans forward ever so slightly, just as Strangler’s body connects head-on with Erek’s chest….

 

 

For all the shit you’ve pulled over your career…

 

 

…the two men, intertwined, go flying through the hole in the cage…

 

 

For justice…

 

 

…the two men plummet, 15, 10, 5 feet above the ground…

 

For me…

 

 

…inches above the ground…

 

 

Fuck you.

 

 

BAM!

 

 

Comet is going insane, as is most of the crowd. Riley and some people watching just look on in shock, unable to believe what they just saw.

 

“STRANGLER SPEARED EREK THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE CELL! STRANGLER SPEARED EREK TAYLOR DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE RING 15 FEET BELOW THEM! HOW ARE EITHER OF THESE MEN STILL ALIVE? OH MY GOD!”

 

The crowd is still going insane, with the two men wrapped around each other. The place is in disbelief, talking to the people next to them, trying to figure out if what they just saw was real. Suddenly, a voice cuts through the joy, the incredulity, and brings reality back to the scene.

 

“Comet, look! LOOK! It’s Taylor! He fell on top of Strangler! He’s on top of Strangler! He’s got the pinfall! He’s got it!”

 

Comet looks into the ring, and the joy drains out of his face as he looks at Erek, who is clearly draped on top of Strangler, whose shoulders are both touching the ground. “No…no, that can’t be right…Strangler speared him…that can’t be happening…” says Comet to himself, stunned by the turn of events.

 

“GET DOWN THERE, LONG! MAKE THE GODDAMN COUNT! COUNT COUNT COUNT COUNT COUNT!” screams Riley at Eddy Long, who is still trapped on top of the Cell. Long looks around awkwardly, then starts to hang himself from the hole in the top of the Cell to get to the ring. As Long tries to return to the ring, the fans in Columbus, and across the globe, come to the same realization that Bobby Riley has, and the arena goes quiet as Long drops the six feet remaining from the Cell to the ring. Long takes a moment to get to his feet, and looks over the two men, who are both unconscious. Long inspects both men, hesitating to start the count.

 

“START THE COUNT, LONG! START IT!” screams Bobby, with a vein bulging out of his forehead. Long, who looks resigned to his fate, drops to his knees and begins to register the count.

 

“Not this way…” says Comet softly, echoing the sentiments of all those watching. The 21,148 people in attendance are as silent as a funeral crowd, and the slap of Long’s hand (and the screams of Bobby Riley) are the only noise in the arena.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…the end…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

“YOUR WINNER, EREK TAYLOR!” calls out a less-than-enthusiastic Funyon as the rest of the crowd continues to silently look on,

 

“How…how did he lose? He speared him….that fall….it was his to win…” mumbles a hurt Comet, who can’t take his eyes off of Strangler’s unconscious body in the ring. Long raises Taylor’s limp arm into the air, and then lets it drop before rolling Taylor off of Strangler. Long slaps Taylor across the face softly, trying to revive him. Strangler is still out of it, but Erek is slightly coherent. A satisfied grin spreads across his face as Long tells him the news, but the rest of the crowd is still quiet, hushed by the defeat.

 

“And the better man wins!” cries Riley in the energy of victory. “Tonight truly proved who the better man was here!”

 

Comet ponders things for a moment, and then a tiny smile runs across his lips. “You’re right, Bobby. Tonight DID prove who the better man was. Strangler did exactly that tonight.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about, Comet?”

 

“Strangler did what he came here to do, Robert. He fought clean, even when Taylor fought dirty. Taylor did everything he could to fight dirty, but Strangler never did. Strangler persevered, and did all he could to win the match the way it should be won. For that, Strangler has proven that he is a winner, and that he is most certainly the better man. He may have lost the match, but Strangler has won the war.”

 

Riley doesn’t bother to offer a rebuttal, instead choosing to put a few notes about Tom/Ejiro on his notecards. Meanwhile, Erek has left the ring to silence from the crowd, and even Erek Taylor has decided to take the honorable road and remain silent in victory. He leaves the ring, looking at Strangler, then turns his back on the crowd, the ring, and the man lying unconscious on the mat and disappears behind the curtain for the last time, with “Numb” ringing out in the background. Strangler is left alone, lying on the canvas, with only Eddy Long there to check on him. As Long tries to wake Strangler, a small “Strangler! Strangler!” chant starts to pick up in the back on Nationwide Arena.

 

Strangler opens his eyes and raises his head, looking at Long, who breaks the news to him. Strangler looks devastated, and a tear wells up in his eyes as Long talks to him, trying to solace the now-retired SWF legend. Strangler sits up, and the “STRANGLER! STRANGLER!” chant grows even louder as he looks around at the Nationwide Arena crowd. The tears are still in his eyes, but the sentiment behind them is changing as the “STRANG-LER! STRANG-LER! STRANG-LER! STRANG-LER!” chant is deafening. Strangler makes it to his feet, with a little help from Eddy Long, and waves to the crowd, which explodes into cheers. “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult, the music that Strangler has heard so many times, kicks up for the final time, and Strangler starts to stagger out of the ring. He shrugs off Eddy Long and walks under his own power to the entrance ramp. He looks up above the ring, where the Cell has been raised up, and ponders it for a second before continuing.

 

“What a great man” adds Comet as Strangler stumbles up the ramp, seemingly in blinding pain. He finally makes it to the top of the ramp and turns around, seeing the entire crowd on his feet, including Cyclone Comet. Strangler, with tears and blood streaming down his face, pauses for a moment, nearly collapses, but manages to right himself. He looks around, and then gives the crowd a military salute, which sends the crowd into overdrive. He takes one last glance at the SWF ring, the commentary table, the stage, and all the fans, then slowly steps backwards through the curtain and into the history books.

 

“Godzilla” continues to play in the arena, which is still chanting ‘STRANG-LER! STRANG-LER!”, and the feed slowly fades to a video hyping the Ejiro vs. Flesher matchup, with the music and chant still lingering in the background.

 

STRANG-LER!

 

STRANG-LER!

 

STRANG-LER!

 

*fade*

[Guest Suicide King]

“HO! HO! HO!” laughs Bobby Riley.

 

The Cyclone Comet looks at Riley with a smile, “I see the Christmas Spirit has finally taken root in you Citizen Riley.”

 

“No, I was just pointing at the women at the audience and calling them what they are…”

 

… Sigh … “Well your insults aside we are just moments away from the main event here at the Fight Before Christmas. This will be a two-out-of-three fall contest for the World Title between two former friends and former partners. This will be Tom Flesher against Ejiro Fasaki.”

 

“And although stipulations usually favor the champion in these sorts of contests, these all work in the favor of Ejiro Fasaki. He can win falls here by disqualification and count out and still become the World Champion and the current standings between Ejiro and Tom is three to one with Ejiro winning the majority of those contests. So even if Tom flukes out a fall, Fasaki still has a chance to allow the percentages to come into play.”

 

“Well,” adds The Comet, “that may indeed be true but Tom Flesher is bound and determined to show that he can indeed beat Ejiro Fasaki two out of three and if he does, he takes away every excuse Ejiro has in the book.”

 

“Oh I’m sure he’ll be able to find one.”

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” calls out the red and green decorated Funyon in the center of the ring, “this next contest is THE MAIN EVENT and is scheduled to be contested under two-out-of-three falls for the Smart Marks Wrestling Federation WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT Championship!”

 

The camera flashes backstage to catch the last minute preparations of the challenger backstage as Judge William Hearford is right there hyping up his partner for the contest to come. “COME ON JIR! COME ON JIR!” shouts Hearford as he slaps Fasaki across the face in order to get his partner ready to battle it out and bring the World Title home.

 

Back to Funyon, “Introducing first the challenger…”

 

JUSTICE!

 

RULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!

 

POPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOP!

 

With even more explosions than normal exploding high in the stratosphere than is typical for the Tag Team champion, the crowd packed into the Nationwide Arena begins to warm up the ‘FU Fasaki’ chants as they listen to the sounds of REM playing throughout the crowd. As the music continues to play, the man in question strides through the curtains and raises his arms high into the air as the fans begin to boo heartily his appearance. Wearing both of the World Tag Team title belts across his shoulders, Ejiro models a red and green ‘retro style’ Justice and Rule football jersey as he makes his way down the aisle and into the ring. Winding his head around, Ejiro works out the last bit of kink in his neck as makes his way over the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. Pulling his form up to the middle rope, Ejiro lifts both of his arms high into the air as the crowd finally gets that cheer out of their system.

 

“FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI!”

 

Ignoring each and every person in the ring, Ejiro steps off the ropes and hands the belts off to the ringside attendant as Funyon continues his ring announcements… “The challenger comes to us from Sarasota, Florida and weighs in tonight at 210 pounds. He is one half of the World Tag Team Champions JUSTICE AND RULLLLLE. He is ranked the number two contender to the World Heavyweight Championship by the Smart Mark Championship committee. He is EJIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FASAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

 

Ignoring Funyon entirely, Fasaki pulls his football jersey over his head and tosses it out into the crowd as referee Nick Soapdish wanders over to the challenger. Turning to the referee, Fasaki sticks out his fingers for the referee to check for the length of his fingernails and submits to all the search requests made by the referee. Finding nothing… not even a chain … cough … Soapdish gives Fasaki a little thumbs up as he returns to the center of the ring.

 

“Looks at the focus that Fasaki is bringing to bear here,” admires Riley. “Is there any doubt just how much this guy wants to beat Tom Flesher once and for all right here?”

 

“There is no doubt about it,” replies The Cyclone Comet. “Citizen Fasaki didn’t even bother to pack his faithful chain this evening. Perhaps he actually wants to fight The Superior Citizen on an even playing field.”

 

The camera flashes backstage once again to find Tom Flesher now waiting in the go position backstage, hopping back and forth from foot to foot, warming himself up for the long battle to come. Awaiting the call from Funyon, Tom looks into the camera for a moment and flashes a wink out to the people watching on pay per view before bringing his concentration snapping right back to the task at hand with the sounds of the ring announcer.

 

“And HIS opponent…”

 

The crowd’s mood changes entirely from the rather unresponsive Fasaki and turns to the glory that is the World Champion as the lights go down and the SmarkTron begins glowing a very bright white.

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

 

Seeing this the crowd begins to cheer ever the louder as the sounds of the Philosopher Kings plays throughout the Nationwide Arena. The fans begin to bounce with the familiar music and sing along for a moment until…

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

The largest damn explosion of blue fireworks blows up high in the air as the populace all let out a singular and unconscious, ‘Yikes’. With the white cloud of the smoke clouding the view, the entire populace looks to get that first glimpse of the champion. But they don’t have very long to wait before Flesher comes wandering out through the cloud of dust. Looking behind him as he comes through the smoke, Tom reads along with the crowd as more words and actions flash across the screen.

 

SUPERIOR ONE

 

AWARD-WINNING

 

MAIN ATTRACTION

 

THE MAN

 

That last one hangs on the screen for an extra-added moment or two as Tom lifts his hands up to the crowd as though he is presenting it to them for their approval. Gaining the cheers of the crowd in response, Tom gives each and every member of the audience his trademark golf claps that the people in close approximation to the Champion returns the gesture to the long time champion.

 

“Tom Flesher is brimming with confidence here,” reports The Cyclone Comet as Tom folds his arms across his chest and gets another cheer out of the gesture. “It really looks like that win over Justice and Rule last week really let up some of the pressure that Tom was feeling from the challenger.”

 

“Well, there is no Mak Francis out here to save Tom this time,” whines Bobby Riley. “This is going to be man-on-man action… THE BEST kind of action.”

 

Hopping up to the ring apron, Tom wipes his Doc Marten boots across the apron before stepping into the ring. Pulling the World Title off his shoulder, Tom raises the belt high into the air as the crowd continues to cheer madly for their adopted hero. Placing the belt back across his shoulder, Flesher wanders over to Funyon and passes him a little extra added something… a handful of note cards. Looking at the cards, Funyon looks at Tom with a smile as Tom shrugs playfully at the longtime ring announcer.

 

Drawing in a breath, Funyon begins to read the “Ladies and gentlemen, it is my lifelong goal in life to announce to you… the champion. He is the man that invented the steam engine. He made Mona Lisa smile and gave Michael Angelo his first set of paint. He taught Elvis how to dance and made the first manned trip to the moon. Hailing from Buffalo, New York and weighing in tonight at a slim, trim 213 pounds… this is the Smart Marks Wrestling Federation WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… he is ‘THE SUPERIOR ONE’ TOM FLESHERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

 

Smiling at the announcement and nodding along with each unbelievable call, Tom puts his hands out to the side and motions to the crowd to bring the cheers once more. Holding the belt in his hands, Tom gives the belt a little kiss and hands it off to the referee before pulling loose his tracksuit and tossing it over the top rope to a ringside attendant. Watching Ejiro with one eye the whole while, Tom makes sure that he isn’t going to get bushwhacked as he goes about his pre match rituals. Submitting to the same check that Ejiro went through a few moments ago from the referee, Tom passes just as cleanly and shows that he is possessing nothing that could be used as a weapon on his person. Watching the referee stand in the middle of the ring, Tom looks on as the referee holds the belt up to all four sections of the arena before passing the belt out to the timekeeper. Placing the big gold belt right on top of Ejiro’s gold, the timekeeper seats himself at ringside and pulls up his hammer, ready to begin the match at the referee’s discretion.

 

“What an interesting match this is going to be,” calls out The Cyclone Comet as the referee calls both men into the center of the ring and starts going over the last minute instructions. “Both of these men are so very similar and so close on so many factors in that ring. Both are about the same height, weight and have a similar amount of experience. Whoever can dictate the style of the match is going to be the winner. If Tom can make this an amateur style, match he is going to win regardless of the wrestling acumen of Ejiro. If Fasaki can make it a brawl, he’ll pound Tom into pudding regardless of Flesher’s fight, and the champ has a whole lot of that.”

 

Finally settled on the rules with the competitors in this World Title Contest, the referee steps back out of the way and signals to the timekeeper to get the match underway.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Stepping right into each other at the sound of the bell, Tom and Ejiro meet in the center of the ring eye-to-eye. And while Flesher holds a little smirk on his face, Fasaki’s face is like stone as he stares right ahead. But that stone like expression is gone in an instant as Tom gives Rule a slap right across the face!

 

WHAP!

 

Falling right back on his ass from the shock of the blow, Fasaki looks up at Tom with an openmouthed look of shock as Flesher simply waves at his stunned challenger and invites him to get back up to his feet. Rolling backward for a moment, Fasaki creates a little bit of distance before rising up with the assistance of the ropes. Looking at Tom with twice the fire that he had a moment ago, Ejiro looks about a moment away from attempting to decimate Flesher. But holding his temper in check, Fasaki allows the heat of the moment to wash over him as he gets back up to his feet.

 

“Just like Tom to slap someone like a woman,” glowers Bobby Riley. “Ejiro Fasaki wanted to battle out like men and Flesher slaps him across the face? What a bitch.”

 

Moving into Tom once again, Fasaki forces his way into Tom and locks up with a collar-and-elbow tie up. Dropping down to his knees immediately, Ejiro grabs Tom around the waist and pulls him down backward to the canvas with a double leg. Immediately floating over the top of the pile, Fasaki applies a headlock as Flesher immediately rolls his body onto his stomach to stay out of a pinning predicament. Placing his legs out in front of the pile, Ejiro uses the hold in more of a submission manner however as he cranks up on his hips and works to force Tom’s neck back. But a simple headlock is simply not going to be enough to keep the World Champion down on the canvas. Pressing up on his toes, Flesher pushes up against Ejiro’s body and pushes both men back up to their vertical base. Then taking Ejiro by the waist, Tom rolls with his back to the canvas and manages to toss Fasaki off the hold. Both men rising up to their feet, look for a bit of a weakness to exploit but find none.

 

“And you said Ejiro couldn’t out wrestle Flesher!” chides Bobby Riley. “Well what did you think of that? Fasaki is controlling the action and you know it.”

 

“I know that you live in your own little fantasy world,” says The Comet. “Citizen Rule is playing with fire here and needs to force the action in a style where he has the advantage. He is not going to be able to out work Flesher on the canvas.”

 

But Comet has been wrong in his life before and Fasaki seems determined to prove him wrong here tonight as he once again locks up with Flesher with a collar-and-elbow. But this time as Fasaki drops down to a knee to try for a double leg he finds Tom there waiting to slam a cross face down across the side of his head to break the grip. Then reaching across the arm and head, Tom locks down with a cravat. Dropping down to his own knee now, Tom exerts pressure on the hold as he looks to use it to force Fasaki down to the canvas.

 

“As these two square off,” mentions The Cyclone Comet. “I would just like to mention the injuries that both men are taking into this match. Citizen Rule is actually completely injury free at the moment, as the East Coast FU he took last week did no actual long-term damage. On the other side of the ring, Tom Flesher got the stitches out of the cut over his eye put there by Ejiro Fasaki two weeks ago and other than having the tissue being a little soft, is also in perfect shape. Neither guy should have any excuses at the end of this contest.”

 

“I’m sure Flesher will come up with something.”

 

Using the cravat to his advantage, Flesher cranks down on the head and neck of his foe as Fasaki presses into Tom to attempt to effect a counter. But snaking a leg in between the legs of Rule, Tom is able to force Fasaki right back onto the canvas as Tom tries to force Fasaki’s head down into the canvas. Finally tucking Rule’s head underneath his body, Flesher pushes ahead and manages to flip Ejiro over the top with a ¾’s nelson pinning combination.

 

“ONE,” counts referee Nick Soapdish before Fasaki manages to force his way off his shoulders and back onto his stomach.

 

Yet through it all, ‘The Superior One’ holds onto the cravat the whole time and continues to control Ejiro’s head with the hold as Fasaki once again battles up to his knees. Working his way up to his feet, Fasaki remains caught in the hold as Tom doggedly controls the action as Rule works to press him into the ropes and hopefully force a break. Using his weight, Fasaki does indeed manage to succeed at this task and works Flesher back into a corner where the referee is forced to order Flesher to break the cravat. But as Tom lifts his arms up in order to comply, Fasaki is there to slam a fist into the midsection and gain a cheap advantage. Battering Tom in the ribs once again, Ejiro rears back and sends a fist right at Tom’s face only to have the World Champion duck right underneath the flying fist. Turning back into Ejiro, Tom sends a kick impacting off the side of Ejiro’s face and sending the challenger back into the corner. Pressing into Ejiro, Flesher sends Ejiro flying across the ring with an Irish whip so full of impact that Ejiro rebounds out of the corner and into the grip of the World Champion. Cinching up with a bear hug, Tom tosses Fasaki overhead with the Railgun belly-to-belly suplex!

 

BOOM!

 

Floating over with the impact, Tom hooks Ejiro as tightly as he can as the referee slides into position for…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE… NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Kicking out at two and a half, Ejiro forces his way out of the pinning predicament and rolls his body over to the stomach to avoid being put into another pinning combination. But being on the canvas in that position basically writes Tom an invitation that he all too happy to accept as he crunches down on Ejiro with the trademark front facelock. Pulling up on the hold almost immediately, Tom drags Rule up to a bent over vertical base yet again and starts to fire away with knees that strike like uppercuts right into the face of the challenger.

 

BOOM!

 

BOOM!

 

BOOM!

 

With Fasaki stunned by those shots, Flesher moves in with something with a little more impact as he swings Ejiro’s free arm up and over his shoulder. Then pulling Fasaki up high in position for a vertical suplex, Tom makes Ejiro think about what is about to happen as he shows off his deceptive strength! Holding the tag team champion over his head for over eight seconds, Tom comes lurching forward a bit before letting Ejiro hang up across the top rope like a piece of exceptionally obnoxious laundry! Leaving Ejiro strung out over the top rope, Tom looks out to the people in the audience and gives the top of his leg a bit of a smack to let everyone know just what he has in store. Quickly popping into the ropes for momentum, ‘The Superior One’ fires off a Yakuza kick the size of all of Ohio!

 

 

 

WUHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

 

 

Whoops.

 

“He missed! Citizen Tom managed to roll forward off the ropes and allowed Tom to groin against the top!” reports The Cyclone. “Where is justice?”

 

“You mean Hearford? I think he’s still in the back.”

 

“No I mean real justice!”

 

“The Judge is an abstract now?”

 

Finding himself in a position that he would normally reserve for sometime on a Saturday Night with Ejiro’s sister, Tom finds himself way too stretched out for his own good. Slowly and painfully, Flesher manages to pull himself free of the top rope. Taking a moment, Tom stretches himself out to make sure that he didn’t tear a muscle in his leg to find that seemingly everything is still where it is supposed to be. That is everything except for Ejiro Fasaki… Who is waiting right behind Tom with some bad intentions for the World Champion, and as Tom turns, he finds out just what those intentions are.

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

“BIG LEAGUE LARIAT OF NEFARIOUSNESS!”

 

“Nefariousness?”

 

“It’s a word.”

 

Knocking Taamo right out of his boots with a clothesline, Fasaki holds onto his stomach for a second while resting against the ropes. Clearing his own body medically from the belly-to-belly suplex and the hanging on the top rope, Ejiro goes about paying Flesher back a bit for the attacks that he has dished out thus far in this contest. Moving in on the stunned champion, Fasaki batters Tom about the head with a hard elbow smash across the side of the head simply to get Tom stunned enough to hook ‘The Superior One’ up and send him flying overhead with a snap suplex. Impacting with the small of his spine on the canvas first, Tom lets out a muffled grunt of pain as he sits up for a moment after impact before falling back flat against the mat. Popping up to his feet himself after the throw, Ejiro looks out to the crowd for the first time in the contest and lets them have it with his trademark salute holdover from his days as The United States Champion. And now as then, the gesture receives the same amount of praise. Suffice to say… none.

 

“FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI!”

 

“This is the wrong time for this kind of chicanery,” remarks The Cyclone Comet. “This is the first time that Citizen Rule has had any sort of sustained advantage over his opponent and he decides to use it to salute the crowd? That’s simply stupid!”

 

But Ejiro does not spend a large amount of time playing with the crowd before attacking a kneeling Tom Flesher once again by driving the bottom of his boot into the side of Flesher’s face and knocking the champion back on his knees. Taking this opening, Ejiro hits the ropes and comes flying back at Flesher before leaping over the kneeling champion and pulling his head backward with an almost opposite representation of the Hennig neck snap that proves to be just as effective as the normal version. Arching his back with the impact, Tom finally gets his knees out from under himself in order to avoid a repeat performance of the move he just took. But this does nothing to keep a jackal like Ejiro from attacking yet again with a solid elbow that strikes Tom above the eye that was wounded two weeks ago. But Ejiro seemingly has no plans to continue with that strategy as he instead goes back to attacking Tom’s spine by picking the Champion up by the waist and crushing him with a side backbreaker! Spiraling off the knee, Taamo holds onto his back with one hand as he goes rolling off to the side in order to create some distance between himself and the determined challenger.

 

“Now I think you might want to retract that statement about Ejiro being stupid there Comet,” answers Riley. “Ejiro is simply setting a deliberate pace and making absolutely no mistakes. He’s here to beat Flesher two strait falls and he won’t be able to do that by taking stupid chances.”

 

And Ejiro continues to attempt to keep this methodical pace moving by pushing Flesher back into a corner. Lowering a shoulder, Ejiro pops shoulder after shoulder into Tom’s midsection as the champion struggles to catch his breath after this brief attack by the challenger. But no breath is coming as Ejiro mounts ‘The Superior One’ in the corner and starts to lower the boom with an attack to the eye once again with a number of short right hands. Again and again the shots find their home in the face of the World Champion who has simply had enough of this bullshit. Using a boost of adrenaline, Flesher snags a struggling Fasaki around the waist and walks out of the corner with Ejiro up on his shoulders! Coming out almost all the way out of the ring, Tom drops down to a knee and looks to crush Ejiro with a reverse atomic drop!

 

BLOCK!

 

Extending his legs as far as possible, Ejiro manages to avoid getting his nuts crushed and takes all the impact on his feet. Tossing an elbow in response, Rule nails Tom in the face and sends the Champion staggering a pace or tow back and giving Ejiro the room to send a boot towards Tom’s breadbasket.

 

CAUGHT!

 

Catching the boot an inch from his chest, Tom looks at the now completely of balance Ejiro with a smile as the crowd basically begs Flesher to deliver a low blow to the exposed challenger. But Tom simply has another plan and it starts with tossing a salute right back in the face of the challenger before RIPPING his down to the canvas with a dragon screw leg whip! Immediately back on his feet as Ejiro shouts out in pain and grabs for his knee, Tom waists no time in wrapping the wounded knee up and falling to the canvas with the ‘Cross Lightning’ Nagata lock!

 

TAP! TAP! TAP!

 

“What the hell?”

 

Instantly finding his hands about three feet from any ropes, Fasaki slams his hand against the canvas and submits!

 

Funyon calls into the microphone as Soapdish forces Tom to break the hold, “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the first fall by submission ‘THE SUPERIOR ONE’ TOM FLESHERRRRRRRRRRRR!”

 

Breaking the leg lock immediately, Flesher gets up to his feet and retreats to a corner. Leaning back into the ropes for support, Tom looks on with a puzzled expression for a moment and shrugging as Fasaki continues to roll about the canvas in complete agony. Soapdish looks in on the challenger as the compulsive one-minute break occurs and the crowd looks on at the apparently injured Fasaki wondering if he will be able to continue on here.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” calls The Comet into his headset, “I have never ever seen Ejiro Fasaki tap out so fast in my life. The instant Tom Flesher applied the Nagata lock, Ejiro was already tapping against the canvas.”

 

“I don’t think that was the problem,” answers Bobby Riley. “I think the leg whip before hand might have ripped some ligaments and … well it doesn’t take much after that to get a submission. I have to wonder if this match is going to continue at all at this point.”

 

Leaning into his corner, Tom might be thinking the same thing as he looks across the ring and sees Fasaki finally pulling himself up by the ropes. Shoving the referee aside, Fasaki hops up on one leg as if to declare that he is not about to give up his bid at the World Championship that has avoided his grasp for so long. Eagerly, although still clearly in pain, Fasaki bids Tom come across the ring and get him some as the fans look at one of the most hated men in SWF history with something other than revulsion for perhaps the first time. But Tom Flesher does not share this feeling for as long as the match still continues.

 

DING! DING!

 

And continue it does.

 

Slowly coming out of his corner, Tom starts his way over to the hobbled challenger. While on the other side of the ring, Ejiro starts out after Tom as well only to collapse a few feet out of the corner as he attempts to put a little bit of pressure on the wheel. Stepping in between the two men, Nick Soapdish once again steps in between the two grapplers and moves to check in on Ejiro who still clearly indicates that he wants to continue to battle as long as he can. Crawling to the ropes as Tom looks on with a distrustful eye, Ejiro manages to once again pull himself up to his feet as Soapdish steps back reluctantly and orders the combat to continue.

 

“This is horrible,” laments Bobby Riley. “An injured man like Fasaki is showing enough guts for three men and Tom Flesher still wants to fight? What a load!”

 

“I’m sure that The Superior Citizen just wants to get this thing over as soon as possible,” answers back The Cyclone Comet. “And the way that Fasaki is moving, that might not be too long.”

 

Struggling up, Ejiro turns his eye full of hatred back towards Tom as the World Champion slowly works his way over to the challenger in a very guarded position, wary of any sort of trick. Almost instantly, Tom sweeps in with an amateur leg trip at the injured leg and pulls it up and off the canvas once again. But Fasaki cannot hold his balance at all this time around as he tumbles to the canvas instantly and grabs a hold of the bottom rope before Tom can hook in another submission hold to the knee. Dropping the limb and allowing Fasaki to scamper across the ring, Flesher looks out to the crowd as if to ask just what he should do in this situation. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Fasaki pulls himself up by the corner once more as he turns back to Tom in a defensive stance as the crowd looks on in a quiet hush.

 

“Folks, I don’t know what to say about this. Clearly Tom Flesher can’t just not wrestle the man that keeps begging for the match to continue. But by the same token, he and Fasaki were friends for a long time,” reports The Cyclone Comet. “He can’t just cripple Citizen Rule and be done with it.”

 

“Well he might have to…” laments Bobby Riley. “Besides Tom Flesher doesn’t have any friends… BASTARD!”

 

Clearly hobbled Ejiro waits his fate as he tries to cover up in the corner as Tom once again slowly makes his way over to the challenger. Also actually on the defensive, Flesher continually watches for some sort of treachery as he moves in on the challenger. Sweeping a kick down at the injured wheel however proves to be entirely effective as Fasaki once more collapses in the corner and hooks his arms around the bottom rope to avoid being placed in any sort of a submission hold. Backing off at the referee’s command, Tom looks this way and that as though wondering what to do next as Soapdish moves in on Fasaki in order to see if he still wants to compete here tonight. Physically pushing the referee aside, Ejiro demands that Flesher come get him as he lies down on the canvas. Not one that really needs an invitation, Flesher moves in on Fasaki and grabs the challenger by the hair and pulls him up to a standing position in the corner. Leaning back, Tom sends a smashing uppercut palm thrust right into the jaw of the challenger who is seemingly only being held up by the ring ropes at this point.

 

SMACK!

 

Once again a palm thrust blasts Ejiro underneath the chin as the referee looks to step in once again and check on Rule’s condition. But Tom has had enough of Soapdish prolonging the inevitable and brushes right past the official and slams a boot high and into the face of the challenger and knocking him down to a seat on the canvas. And this sets the official off! Physically stepping between Tom and his wounded prey, Soapdish actually SHOVES the champion back as the crowd starts to wonder amongst themselves if perhaps this has all gone too far. Warning Tom to obey his commands at all times, Soapdish warns the champion that he might actually disqualify the champ if this continues. Shouting back at the referee, Tom exclaims loudly that if Ejiro can’t wrestle than the match should just end now. Otherwise, the referee should get out of his way and let him end this thing. Sighing at the logic of the statement, Soapdish stands aside and allows Flesher to move in on Fasaki yet again. But when Tom moves in, he finds a boot there waiting for him…

 

Yes, THAT boot.

 

EXPLODING out of the corner just as Tom’s attention turns from the official, Ejiro kicks Tom right in the stomach with the ‘injured’ foot with absolutely no indication that the knee was ever hurt. Immediately slamming the World Champion with a forearm to the side of the head, Ejiro grabs Tom about the head and hurls the World Champion right over the top rope and the arena floor!

 

WHOMP!

 

“FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI!” THUNDERS the crowd as the catch on to the ploy a moment too late for the benefit of the champion.

 

“That sneaky little prick!” calls The Cyclone Comet. “He was never hurt at all was he? That…”

 

“Hold on Comet,” answers Bobby as a smile slowly spreads across his lips as Fasaki takes a slightly gimpy step, “Ejiro was hurting. Obviously he tapped out as quickly as he did to avoid a serious injury for the other two falls.”

 

“But this ruse?”

 

“The trick was to give himself plenty of time to recover, and thanks to that acting job, he got the referee to buy him all the time he would ever need. And when the time was right, Ejiro struck like a cobra!”

 

Smiling at the confused referee, Fasaki mouths the word ‘thanks’ to the stunned official as Soapdish looks on with a look of someone who just discovered that Santa Claus IS actually real (and wrestling in the SJL). Rolling out of the ring and after his now stunned prey, Ejiro corrals the battered World Champion off the hard concrete floor and drills him in the face with a hard right hand across the face that sends Tom flopping backward to the crash mats once again. But that provides ‘The Superior One’ with very little respite before Ejiro hauls him back up to his feet and sends him across the ringside area with a whip!

 

CRASH!

 

Slamming his back into the guardrail, Flesher drops down to a knee as Fasaki cleverly sticks his head underneath the bottom rope in order to avoid any sort of chance of getting counted out here in the main event. Sliding fully back outside of the ring, Fasaki once again collects Tom off his knees and once again whips him across the ringside area in the hopes of further using the ringside area to his advantage.

 

BOOM!

 

Crushing his face against the side of a ring post, Tom once again scatters to the canvas in a heap as Fasaki simply smiles broadly out to the crowd. Fasaki takes a moment to work the last bit of kink out of his knee before going back to work on the World Champion. Pulling Flesher off the floor, Ejiro finally heads the referee’s frantic orders and pushes ‘The Superior One’ into the ring where Fasaki will no longer have to worry about a ten count ending this contest. Moving into the ring after his foe, Ejiro watches on as Tom struggles to roll away and create a little bit of distance to recover a little from this battering. But as Flesher pulls himself up by the ring corner and turns towards Fasaki, he finds a high knee surgically placed right in his face. Grabbing onto his eye as he falls to the canvas, Flesher feels the 210 pounds of Fasaki pressed against him as the referee counts away despite the feelings he might have for Ejiro at the moment.

 

ONEEEEEEEEEE!

 

TWOOOOOOOO!

 

THREEEEEEEEE… NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Kicking out at two and a half, Flesher waves a finger in the air as the crowd rallies behind their favorite World Champion. But crowd support just will not keep Ejiro Fasaki away and allow you a chance to recover. Plugging Flesher in the face once again with a measured right hand, it appears as though Ejiro is trying to open up the soft tissue above Flesher’s eye once again in the hopes that a blood soaked Tom will be easier to take advantage of. So once more, Ejiro strikes out at the eye and although no juice results, the effort still causes a great deal of pain to the World Champion.

 

“This is happening just like we discussed it earlier Bobby,” says The Cyclone Comet. “The first fall was a wrestling contest and went the way of Citizen Superior. This second one is turning out to be more of a fight and it appears as though it is allowing Fasaki to take the advantage.”

 

Knocking Tom flat on the canvas with another elbow to the forehead, Fasaki looks out to the crowd yet again with the same smile that has been plastered there since this fall had begun. Stepping on the top of Tom’s face for a moment, Ejiro places all of his weight behind the boot before allowing it to rip down the face of his foe. Clutching at his features for a moment, Tom sits up strait once more as Ejiro continues to slowly pick him apart with these brawling tactics. Pulling Flesher off the canvas by the straps of his tights, Ejiro almost casually pushes the champion back against the corner pad and once again starts to hammer away with right hands and elbows as the referee tries to back him out of the corner with seemingly no luck. Busting Tom time and again, Ejiro looks happy enough to burst as he continues to make Tom wish he were somewhere else for the moment. Finally taking one last measured shot at Tom’s mug, Ejiro sends the World Champion down to a seat in the corner. Backing off at the referee’s orders, Ejiro almost happily jaunts into the center of the ring and tosses his salute out to the people once again with the same results he gets every time.

 

“FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI! FU FASAKI!”

 

Shaking his head at the fans who seemingly can’t appreciate the super athlete that is standing before them, Fasaki turns his attention back to ‘The Superior One’ who used the time away from Fasaki to prop himself back up in the corner. Swinging another fist Tom’s way however proves to be a bit more trouble than Ejiro would have thought however as Tom puts an arm up in order to block the blow and returns fire with a palm thrust underneath the chin!

 

POP!

 

BAM!

 

Ejiro hammers back with a short elbow against the side of the head in response. Tom’s head rocks back on his neck for a second before he fires right back!

 

POP!

 

BAM!

 

POP!

 

Ejiro is knocked a step backward by that one as Tom struggles out of the corner but walks right into another elbow!

 

BAM!

 

POP!

 

BAM!

 

 

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

 

 

 

 

“HE PUNCHED HIM! TOM FLESHER JUST DECKED EJIRO WITH A CLOSED FIST! TOM HAS NEVER THROWN A PUNCH IN ALL THE YEARS I’VE KNOWN HIM!”

 

Finally unloading, the fist knocks Ejiro completely for a loop and spins him all the way around with the force of the blow! Almost instantly, Tom ducks low and pulls Rule over with a school boy as the referee slides into position for…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! EJIRO KICKS OUT!

 

Obviously more shocked than hurt, Fasaki manages to kick Tom off and stay alive in this match for the World Title. Getting up a hair faster than the Champion however, allows Ejiro to knock him back down tot he canvas with a harsh clothesline that hits with such force that both men end up down on the canvas. Almost immediately pulling Flesher off the canvas, Ejiro once again heaves Tom through the middle ropes and all the way out of the ring to the concrete below in a repeat of the move that gained him the advantage in the first place. Lying against the floor once again, Tom holds onto his spine for a moment after jarring against the floor but is seemingly free of injury from the spill. But still ‘The Superior One’ is in a bit of trouble that Ejiro is only too happy to take advantage of by exiting the ring and slamming Tom’s head across the ring apron with vile intentions. Collecting Tom off the apron, Ejiro looks to build on his success from before by whipping Tom across ringside and into something heavy and made of metal.

 

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOM!

 

 

 

BUT TOM REVERSES THE WHIP!

 

Crashing into the guardrail with his shoulder, Ejiro drives the metal virtually into the laps of the first row! Rising up to their feet though, the Ohio fans don’t even think about suing Mark Stevens since they are all intent rather on giving Tom the most of their emotions!

 

“TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO!”

 

Staggering over to the challenger with bruises on his face, Tom strikes a rising Fasaki under the chin with another palm thrust that knocks Rule’s head back and nearly off its shoulders. Grabbing Ejiro by the head, Tom finds the target he wants and RAMS Ejiro strait ahead and into the ring post! Collapsing to the floor, Ejiro tries to call a time out as the crowd comes alive at the thought of Tom winning two strait falls over his challenger. Collecting the stunned challenger, Tom heaves him into the ring once more and enters the ring right behind him at the count of seven and well under the threat of a count out. Rolling into the ring, Tom finds Ejiro still aware enough to be seated on the canvas with one hand in the air, attempting to beg off a bit of a respite. But Tom has already displayed all the mercy he intends to show for the rest of the year and rushes close enough to Ejiro to stomp him right above the eye!

 

“No more mercy for Citizen Rule!” calls out The Cyclone Comet. “That little trick he pulled might have gotten him a little advantage, but the impact will be seen the entire rest of this match! The referee sure as hell is going to let this thing go from here on out regardless if Ejiro’s damn head falls off.”

 

Grabbing Ejiro by the wrist, Tom pulls the tag team champion off the canvas and heaves him across the ring with an Irish whip. Colliding with the buckles with his back, Ejiro stumbles out of the corner and finds his entire body elevated as Flesher drops a shoulder and sends the challenger flying with a back body drop that sends Ejiro flying into the heavens! Stepping into the corner himself, Tom gets a head of steam behind him as Fasaki claws up to his feet only to be knocked right back down to the canvas with a hard clothesline to the chest. Popping into the ropes again, Tom gives a repeat performance as he drives Ejiro down to the mat with yet another lariat that takes the challenger down to the mat and reeling over to the ropes.

 

“TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO!”

 

Gold clapping along with the people, Tom struts about the ring for a moment as Ejiro collects himself enough to rise up to a knee. And so that ends the reprieve as Flesher once again rushes forward for another clothesline only to have Ejiro dip a shoulder and send Tom all the way over the top rope with a backdrop!

 

 

But not all the way out to the floor!

 

 

Managing to land on his feet on the apron rather than falling to the floor once again, Flesher points to his own head as Fasaki rises up looking the opposite direction from where he thinks he just dumped Tom to the floor. But as he turns to where Tom is waiting healthy and happy, Ejiro ends up taking a shoulder block right in the chest that doubles the fiend up at the waist. Quickly grabbing the top rope, Tom slings himself up and over the top for a sunset flip only to have Fasaki hook on to the ropes as well and keep from going over! Immediately dropping down on Tom’s chest, Ejiro manages to reach back and hook one of Tom’s legs as Soapdish counts…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

EJIRO GRABS THE ROPES FOR LEVERAGE!

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Kicking out a moment too late; Tom shoots up to his feet as Ejiro scampers out of the ring through the middle rope having managed to lie and cheat his way to an even par with the world champion!

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the second fall… EJIROOOOOOOOOO FASAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

 

“Like I said before fans,” reminisces the Cyclone Comet, “Ejiro Fasaki is a dirty rotten bastard. He just mugged Tom Flesher right here in front of us in order to take the second fall!”

 

“Well a doy,” answers Bobby Riley, “did you think that Fasaki would just surrender the match to Flesher without doing as much as he could? I don’t think so! He turned the second fall into a fight and managed to win out. Now the question becomes who will be able to dictate the pace of the third deciding fall. Whoever can will really be in the driver’s seat here and will be most likely to come away with the big gold belt!”

 

Now on his feet but seemingly not really all that worse for wear, Tom Flesher paces back and forth in the ring as Fasaki continues to have a good chuckle on the outside of the ring much to the annoyance of everyone remotely in the vicinity. But the revelry simply cannot last for much longer as a sweaty Nick Soapdish calls for the bell to sound and for this final fall to begin to finally settle the score between these former friends and business partners.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Sliding as the bell rings, Fasaki keeps near the ropes once again as Flesher presses forward in order to press the action. But as he comes recklessly into the corner, Tom finds a swift boot stuck in his gut. Immediately turning the World Champion into the corner, Ejiro starts where he left off by battering Flesher about the head with a number of closed fists to the head. Stunning Tom significantly in the process, Ejiro takes ‘The Superior One’ by the wrist and sends him across the ring with an Irish whip. Immediately following his opponent into the corner, Ejiro sends a reverse elbow popping into the champion’s face as the crowd grows restless at this continuing development. Slumping a bit in the corner, Tom continues to fall victim to these brawling tactics as Ejiro grabs a hold of the top rope and begins to stomp away at the champion with a flurry of shots right to the chest and face.

 

“He’s doing it!” cheers Riley. “Ejiro Fasaki is forcing Flesher into a brawl! We’re going to have a new champion!”

 

Pulling Flesher out of the corner, Ejiro walks him down the side of the ropes and looks to send ‘The Superior One’ across the ring with a whip. But Flesher still has enough of his wits about him to pivot and reverse in order to send Fasaki into the ropes instead. Then lowering his center of gravity, Tom plucks the challenger out of the air just enough to sling his ass strait back to the canvas with a whipping spinebuster! Holding onto the legs of his now slammed foe, Tom immediately crosses them over each other before hooking both with his arms. Immediately ripping Fasaki over to one side, Tom crunches down on the challenger with his infamous variation of the Texas cloverleaf!

 

“It’s the Superior Stretch!” rails The Cyclone Comet at the top of his muffled voice; “Tom is going to uncle Ejiro Fasaki right here just like he did to win the first fall!”

 

“No way! Ejiro won’t quit like that again, he has nothing to lose!”

 

Indeed Riley appears to be correct as Fasaki immediately uses his arms in an attempt to pull Tom to the ropes rather than tapping out to avoid injury. But injury he does indeed receive as Tom continues to sit back with the Superior Stretch and exerting as much pressure as he can. Virtually screaming out in pain, Ejiro forces his body on however and begins to pull Tom backward and towards the ropes. And despite the protests of the crowd, Ejiro does indeed manage to get an arm on the bottom rope and causes Nick Soapdish to once again step into position to break the hold.

 

“So close!” mumbles The Comet as he snaps his fingers. “Fasaki was mere inches from quitting and everyone in this arena can feel it.”

 

“Well he did make it! So any would of, could of, or should of is a complete waste of time.”

 

Flesher’s feelings exactly as he drops Ejiro’s legs from his grip. Immediately grabbing Ejiro by the legs once again, Tom pulls the wounded challenger out towards the center of the ring once again and looks to once again do some damage by reapplying the Cloverleaf! But this time the hold is countered as Ejiro reaches up with on arm to grab Tom around the hair and uses the other one to blast Tom square in the face with a flurry of quick right hands. Punching his way free, Ejiro manages to knock Tom all the way off and to the canvas. Struggling against the new tightness in his legs and back, Ejiro manages to stand at virtually the same time as the champion. Together they meet in the center of the ring again, trading back and forth palm thrusts and elbows as the crowd continues to buzz along with the action!

 

POP!

 

BAM!

 

POP!

 

BAM!

 

POP!

 

DUCK!

 

Tom ducks underneath Ejiro’s latest elbow attempt and snags Fasaki around the waist from behind!

 

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

 

 

And FLINGS the challenger overhead!

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

WITH A BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX!

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Kicking out at the very last moment, Ejiro starts rubbing the back of his head immediately as Tom looks at the referee for a moment as though questioning just how that was not a three count. But Flesher is nothing if not a superior strategist and he knows as well as the rest of us that he needs to stay on the challenger if he wants to build up on this advantage. Grabbing the wobbly Fasaki as the challenger rises to a knee, Tom uses a whip to send Ejiro towards the ropes only to stop short the whip and bring Ejiro right back into his grasp for a bear hug. Holding Rule there for just a moment, Tom arches backward and flings Fasaki over the top with the second Railgun suplex of the night! Virtually leaping to his feet after the throw, Tom is virtually hopping on one leg from all the adrenaline now flowing through his veins. Knowing that the belly-to-belly will not be enough on its own, Tom backs away into a corner while keep a constant eye on the challenger. Slapping the top of his leg once again in this contest, Flesher signals that the Yakuza kick is once again being aimed at the challenger much to the joy of the crowd!

 

“TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO! TAAMO!”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

“HE KICKED HIS FACE OFF!”

 

Rushing across the ring, Tom finally feels the sweet satisfaction of kicking Ejiro in the head as the challenger is knocked flat on his back with the force of that monster kick to the face! Immediately dropping down on Rule, Flesher hooks the near leg for a…

 

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Just barely kicking away in time to avoid the pin, Ejiro is simply an inch away from having his World Title hopes dashed across all across Christmas. But Tom is about to take that inch and make Ejiro miserable with it. Grabbing the downed Ejiro by the back of the tights, Flesher pulls the tag team champion off the canvas and to his vertical base. Wobbling like a feeble, Ejiro can evidentially put up no defense as Tom latches onto his back in an attempt to take the challenger backward with the backdrop suplex. But Ejiro has barely enough left in the tank now to reach out and latch on to the top rope and block the deadly throw. Forgoing the suplex for a moment, Tom lets go of the positioning he has and allows Ejiro to lurch forward and hook his entire body around the ropes. But he is allowed no real respite as Tom slams a forearm into the small of Ejiro’s wounded back and pulls the challenger forcibly out to the center of the ring where no ropes will be able to save him. Ducking in once again, Tom once more tries for the backdrop driver to only find his path barred once again as Ejiro suddenly comes to life with a hard downward elbow to the back of the neck! Slamming his elbow down time and again, Ejiro quickly spins to reverse the throw! But rather than falling backward with a ‘mere’ backdrop suplex, Ejiro also picks up Tom’s leg into a cradle before slamming the champion backward with an unbelievably HARSH reverse fisherman’s suplex! Landing in a pinning combination, Tom’s head swims a bit as he only barely hears the sound of the referee’s hand hitting the canvas for the…

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

The Comet splurges, “This is not a mat wrestling clinic! This is not a brawl! This is two guys trying to kill each other with the most high impact moves they can bring to the dance! And does either man really have the advantage in that regard? I say thee NO! It’s anyone’s ball game in this environment!”

 

And that is never more clear as Tom and Ejiro both lie on the canvas, both men spent from this barrage of high impact moves finally coming to the forefront after two long exhausting falls. Both men scrapping for the chance to walk out of Ohio … and with a belt too! Once again both men are up in a reasonable approximation to each other only to have Ejiro strike first by placing a boot on the knee of the world champion and spinning around the head with a stunning enziguri! Flipping head over heels with the impact, Tom ends up back on the canvas as Fasaki continues to favor his back as he rises up to his feet once again. But that pain is merely temporary as Ejiro continues to batter Tom across the back of the head with a forearm as the champion rises up to his knees. Quickly hooking Tom about the head, Ejiro pulls the champ up and off his feet before attempting to whip him into the ropes. But making the turn once again, Tom puts on the breaks and tries once again to use a short arm whip to pull Ejiro into the Railgun! But this time, Ejiro is ready and he slams his head forward the moment he feels the bear hug and headbutts Tom right above the eye to break off the throw. Immediately stepping into the champion to the side, Fasaki hooks Tom across the shoulder and drives forward!!!

 

S!

 

TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Immediately dog piling on Flesher, Ejiro hooks the legs once again as Soapdish once again makes the count!!!

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

“Still Tom Flesher kicks out at two! Good god both of these two men are bringing the house!” yells the Comet as Ejiro storms up to his feet.

 

Glaring at Flesher with raw pain in his eyes, Ejiro looks at the champion with a look that could melt ice. Motioning for the exhausted champion to get his ass off the canvas, Ejiro widens his arms as though he is looking to hit another suplex. But instead as ‘The Superior One’ pulls himself up, Ejiro wastes a moment tossing him the salute before…

 

KICK!

 

WHAM!

 

PUSH OFF!

 

Looking for the stunner, Ejiro instead feels Tom shoving him ahead and into a turnbuckle! Just barely turning in time to take the shot in the back, Ejiro groans for a second before Flesher really gives him something to groan about as he BLASTS Ejiro in the mouth with a hard palm thrust!

 

POP!

 

Shattered by the shotei, Ejiro leans back into the corner like he just had a heart attack as Flesher looks out to the crowd with a crooked eyebrow as though asking permission to put this thing away. Receiving his answer in the form of a momentous cheer, Tom steps to the outside of the ring behind Ejiro and starts his climb up to the top rope for the…

 

“EGO TRIP! EGO TRIP!” calls out The Comet as Tom grabs a hold of Fasaki by the hair and signals to the crowd that this thing is all over by slashing a finger across his own throat. “If The Superior Citizen hits this calf branding … this will be all over!”

 

BOOM!

 

But it is NOT over! Turning into Flesher just as the World Champion reaches the very top turnbuckle, Ejiro grabs Flesher by the hair and whips him over the top with the military press slam! Slamming his spine against the canvas, Tom shouts out in pain as Fasaki continues to slump in the corner in an attempt to work off the running palm thrust to the mouth. But a simple strike will not keep Fasaki at bay for long and the challenger comes across the ring and grabs a doubled over Flesher in the double arm!

 

This time Riley explodes, “EJIROCATION! EJIROCATION! This polished off Flesher at Ashes to Ashes! Will it do it again here?”

 

NO!

 

Breaking free of the double arm, Flesher instead hooks Ejiro about the legs and stands up with the challenger over his shoulders! Holding the 210-pounder there, Tom comes up with a definitive solution for this match. Carrying the struggling challenger over to the ropes, Tom slings Ejiro’s lower limbs over the turnbuckle!

 

POP!

 

POP!

 

Two HARD ASS palm thrusts nail Ejiro right in the face and rock the now perched challenger so that he leans back across the top turnbuckle. Climbing up after his opponent, Tom stands on the top rope and hooks Ejiro up for what looks to be a superplex. But cinching up from there does not seem to be enough for the World Champ, who looks out to the crowd for a moment and shakes his head. Instead, Tom takes another step up to the VERY TIPPY TOP as the crowd starts to murmur…

 

“Boilermaker… boilermaker.”

 

“Christ,” mumbles The Comet. “He’s going to SPIKE EJIRO OFF THE TOP! THIS IS IT!”

 

Pulling Ejiro up so both men are standing perilously on the top, Flesher once again hooks Fasaki into position for the deadly avalanche brainbuster! Hooking Ejiro, Tom pulls him UP!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUT WAIT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EJIRO PUNCHES BACK!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AND REVERSES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EJIRO PULLS TOM VERTICAL!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OM!

 

 

 

 

“SUPAH ORANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGE CRUSH! SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET ZOMBIE JESUS!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

“ITS OVAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

Bobby explodes, “DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! CHRISTMAS MIRACLES! BECAUSE I DO NOW!”

 

Tossing Tom’s battered body out of the unbelievable pinning combination, Ejiro falls backward exhausted to the mat as the crowd all die in their seats. Stunned by the sudden and virtually unbelievable upset, all of Ohio drops into a hush as both warriors lay battered and crushed in the middle of the ring. But slowly Ejiro begins to move as he himself was hurt in the impact against the canvas. Crawling up to his feet as Tom continues to look completely unconscious on the canvas, Ejiro looks about as though he doesn’t know exactly what has just occurred. But he soon gains an answer as he hears the usually unwelcome voice of Funyon boom throughout the arena.

 

“The winner of the third fall… and the NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SMART MARKS WORRRRRRRRRRRRRLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FASAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

 

“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” screams out Fasaki as he drops to his knees in the center of the ring! The belt, the title is now his in a completely legal and binding sense!

 

Collecting not only The World Title but the Tag Team straps as well, Nick Soapdish reenters the ring and presents Ejiro with all three of the title belts. Tossing the tag belts aside and to the canvas, Ejiro gloms onto the big gold belt like it was… well… made of gold. Hugging the belt closely, Fasaki rises up to his feet with the strap still nestled closely to his chest. Slowly and surely, Fasaki makes his way over to the ropes and climbs up to the middle strand… and there… in front of the fans, the critics, and his family… Ejiro Fasaki takes the reigns as CHAMPION!

 

“What a night! What a night,” glows The Cyclone Comet as the camera swings back his way. “Good god what a night. How the hell do you sum this action up?”

 

"Ejiro Fasaki has won the World Title. Hell freezes over; pigs are flying; Tom Flesher's wang, strangely inferior. Tonight, I am a GOD," says Riley. "See you later, you bunch of boobs."

Edited December 18, 2003 by Grand Slam

[Guest Suicide King]

Wow.

 

Read.

 

Next will be posted by Z around the new year, and will be due Jan 7th.

 

But for now, Merry Christmas to all, and thank you for a wonderful PPV!