Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Christmas Night, 2003. Merry Christmas one and all. The Thursday tradition rings true even on the holidays, as tonight, the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! brand airs a live broadcast for your viewing pleasure. Turn off the "It's A Wonderful Life" rerun, take out that "Miracle on 34th Street" DVD, because holiday action is about to come to you in a big way, starting... NOW~! Festive holiday fireworks fill the arena, as the fans who have braved outside their homes, dinners, and dysfunctional families go wild. The cameras cut immediately to the ring, where General Manager of HeldDOWN~! Northstar, flanked by his Acolytes, stands in center ring. NORTHSTAR Merry Christmas to one and all! *Huge crowd cheer, as the GM looks on approvingly at the sold out crowd here tonight.* NORTHSTAR On behalf of all my lovely HeldDOWN~! stars, I want to take this time to thank you for coming out tonight, and hope that your holiday has been just as exciting as mine. Of course, I can't go into great detail about all the excitement, but suffice to say Alix had a few tricks left that I hadn't been taught yet. Nonetheless, the reason I am out here is to present these boys down here (points down to Sofa Central, where our commentators Michael Cole and DA COACH~! sit) with their Christmas gift. Cole, Coach, and fans worldwide, I present to you the third man in the booth for OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, your new commentator...CABOOSE~! The former World Champion heads out to his familiar Audioslave theme "Cochise", getting a large reaction from the fans in attendance. Clad in more normal attire (but still with his trademark facepaint), Caboose heads to ringside as Northstar and company clear out, leaving him to do his thing. COLE Well, this is certainly a good start to the show. Welcome, Caboose. *Caboose fumbles around for a moment, putting his headset on and taking a seat on the sofa between Cole and Coach.* COACH What up, playa? Glad to have you here, man. CABOOSE Thanks guys. I'd also like to thank Northstar for giving me this spot, and hopefully I can add a new element to the broadcast. COLE Well, you picked the right night to start, because we have got a stacked show tonight, as a gift to our fans out there that span the globe. Tonight, we have the first ever Parental Indiscretion Matchup for the OAOAST X Title, between champion Sly Sommers and the challenger, St. Andrew. COACH St. Matthew has been on a roll, and got this title shot by virtue of a win in the special Triathalon Rules matchup we had last week. The rules of Parental Indiscretion leave room for much havoc to be wreaked, as it's basically a hardcore/Last Man Standing contest, however the referee will not even be involved until the ten minute mark. That leaves the arena wide open as a playground for the competitors. CABOOSE It should definitely be interesting. Sly Sommers has really come into his own, breaking out as a star in his own right and bringing championship gold into the Totally Endorsed stable. COACH See, that's insight, Michael Cole. COLE I know. It's more than you add. COACH Hater. COLE We've also got a special challenge match here tonight, as K-Money has requested a Tag Team Title shot with some associates of his brother Ragdoll, namely TNT. TNT has granted the matchup, but Money has stated that he will not reveal who his partner is until match time tonight! CABOOSE That psychological edge could prove to be a major turning point. I'm going to predict new Tag Team Champions here tonight. COACH Whoa. That's deep. CABOOSE Stop sucking up, Coach. COACH Sorry, bro. CABOOSE I'm not your bro. COLE You could be. Momma Coach got around. COACH Yeah, see...HEY~! CABOOSE I think now would be a good time to take a quick break. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 "Black" by Sevendust plays as Hoff walks out to the ring, greeted with a loud chorus of boos. Hoff is clad in his usual jeans, jacket, and t-shirt, but is also wearing a Santa hat on his head. He half-smirks, half-smiles at the fans as he makes his way to the ring. HOFF "Ho ho ho, and Merry Christmas, to the OAOAST!" Hoff's grin grows as the boos get louder. "Oh, please, come now. Is that any way to treat Hoffy Claus?" COACH "Hoffy Claus, did you hear that MC? He's Hoffy Claus!" COLE "Stop." The fans quiet down a little. HOFF "Yeah, it's that time of year again, when we all give gifts in a showing of goodwill. And far be it for me, or my little helpers in the Underground, to be Christmas Grinches. You see, we believe very strongly in the spirit of giving. And last week, CWM and I did a whole lot of giving." The boos flood back in at the mention of the attack on Zack Malibu. "Not only did I give that sweet, sweet Candie a chance to spend the night with a real man, but we also tried to give Zack Malibu a very nice gift -- a permanent vacation." Hoff laughs as the boos grow louder still. "Yeah I know -- we're just great people. All we do is give. But last week, someone threw a little wrench in our plans. Someone thought it was his place to stick his nose in Underground business. And as Underground security, I just can't allow that. So Charlie Hoss, why don't you get your big ass out here, right now!" A brief pause, and Charlie Hoss enters the arena to a round of cheers. Hoss walks slowly to the ring, a slight scowl on his face. He enters and stands silent, looking at Hoff. Hoff sneers at Hoss, looking him over with contempt. HOFF "Well, well, well. I'm surprised you actually had the balls to show up." The fans jeer. "After the stunt you pulled last week, I've got every right to start kicking your ass all over this building. I mean, look at you! You call yourself security? Why don't you look at what a real enforcer looks like?" Hoff steps back, gesturing to his body. "I mean, come on! Who the hell are you gonna protect? You're nothing more than a fat, ugly, out-of-shape wannabe wrestler who couldn't even come close to cutting it in the ring! Do you hear me? You're nothing-- NOTHING!" Hoss just stands still, looking Hoff in the eye as he rants on. "Don't you think for one second that CWM, myself, or any of the rest of us are ever gonna forget that you ruined our plan. Don't even THINK about turning your back to one of us, because I promise you, there will be a knife in it." Hoff, a maddened _expression on his face, leans in and stares into Charlie Hoss's eyes. Hoss's jaw is wavering a bit, but he still says nothing. Hoff steps back...and slaps Hoss right across the face! Hoss, though, remains unmoving! Hoff's _expression goes soft and his voice dies down. HOFF "Fine. I think you get it. And, in all fairness, it is the holiday season. So, I'm gonna let you go." Hoss stares Hoff down for a second, then turns to go. Hoff, though, grabs Hoss by the shoulder and turns him around. "...As soon as you apologize." The fans roar in anger as Hoss's eyes grow wide, then back down as anger crosses his face. HOFF "So what's it gonna be, Charlie? It's up to you- end this now, or pay for it for the rest of your life." The two men stare at each other. HOFF "What's it gonna be?" Charlie Hoss looks around, across the fans, and back at Hoff. He lowers his head for a moment, then reaches out and takes the microphone from Hoff. He slowly brings his head back up and utters one word: HOSS "No." The fans cheer wildly as Hoss stands defiant. Hoff's eyes go wide now, for a moment, before he turns his head away and starts to chuckle. Hoff turns to leave...but turns back and throws a punch to Hoss's face! The cheers turn back to boos as Hoff unloads with right hands on Charlie Hoss. Hoff pushes Hoss to the corner and begins to work him over, but Hoss powers out, grabs Hoff, and throws him HARD into the corner, reversing the situation! Hoff's Santa hat falls off as Hoss unleashes a STORM of fists, crumpling Hoff into the corner! Hoff can barely shield himself...when suddenly, Hoss is hit from behind! COLE "Damn it all, it's the Underground!" CABOOSE "Once again, the numbers game comes into play!" Sure enough, Gunner Sharps and J. Arthur Edwards have entered the ring. Gunner picks Charlie Hoss up after his sneak attack as J. Arthur helps Hoff out of the corner. Sharps measures Hoss, and send him down with a big standing clothesline! The three Underground members put the boots to Hoss, before Gunner and J. Arthur pick him up. Each hold one arm as Hoff slaps Hoss a few times, before unloading with a big roundhouse punch! Hoss falls to the ground. Hoff signals for Gunner and J. Arthur to pick him back up...when suddenly a cheer arises from the crowd! COLE "Oh my, here come Flameout and SilverStar!" Flameout and SilverStar run to the ring as the Underground slide out under the ropes. Flameout helps Charlie Hoss back to his feet as SilverStar taunts the retreating Underground. Hoff angrily points to Hoss, shouting insults as they leave. Hoss gets back to his feet, and spies Hoff's Santa hat lying in the corner! Charlie Hoss puts on the Santa hat and walks around the ring, calling out to the crowd and pumping his fist! The fans cheer him on wildly! COACH "Well, I guess that's the end of Hoffy Claus." COLE "What a wild night it's been so far, and who would have thought we'd see this confrontation? But it looks like the Underground has some unfinished business with our Chief of Security." CABOOSE "Speaking of unfinished, I've just gotten word in my headset that Jeremy Red has sent us some more updates, the first of which is set to air." COACH "Damn, playa, you're on the ball pretty quickly." CABOOSE "Just like YO MAMA~!" COACH "YO~! I got dissed man, gimme some daps, I can handle that." *A very tired, and beaten Jeremy Red is arriving at Rupert Cruel's Wrestling Boot Camp.* Cruel:Kid, you still suck. You really suck. I am having second doubts about having that final examination match on the 28th. In fact, I am going to finish up your training. Your next lesson is how to counter a wristlock. Red:I uh don't know what a wristlock is. Cruel:Typical non wrestler. Doesn't know a wristlock from a wristwatch. Well sonny Jim, I shall show you a real man's wristlock. Cruel grabs onto the wrist of Jeremy Red and pulls back his wrist. Red yelps out in pain. Cruel:Come on boy, think of a counter. It ain't that hard. Red is still struggling in the wristlock as we fade out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 COACH We're back on hD~!, and the action so far has been of the hizzle! Also, for those of you just tuning in, Michael Cole and myself have received a Christmas gift of our own, as former World Champion Caboose has joined the commentary team! CABOOSE It's good to be here, Coach. I hope to add a new perspective to the show. COACH Yo, that's all well and good, but my man, we got some hot action comin' up. Alix, Northstar's lil' love bunny, is gonna be taking on Candie. What's your take on that, Caboose? CABOOSE Well, I know Candie well from my dealings with Zack, both on a personal and professional level. Alix has seen some ring-time, but what gives her the advantage is that sneaky mindset of hers. It should be fun watching this. COACH You're telling me. They might get nekkid! COLE Don't mind him, Caboose. They didn't have cable when he was younger, so he was devoid of Skinemax. CABOOSE Jonathan, you deprived child. I feel you. COACH ::sob:: Thanks man. "More To Life" by Stacie Orrico cues up, and the Head Bitch of HeldDOWN~! herself, the GM's main squeeze, Alix Spezia comes out to the stage. Clad in the festive colors of red and green bell bottom pants and a matching tank top, Alix storms down to the ring, not exactly happy that she's going to partake in in-ring action tonight. COLE This match was made on account of what happened last week, if we can roll that clip... FROM: HeldDOWN~!, 12/18/03 *Alix clotheslines her down, and Hollywood distracts the ref, buying herself time as Alix gets her licks in on the popular starlet!* COLE Right there, Alix Spezia decided to get involved in Hollywood's matchup with Candie, taking shots whenever she saw fit, and attempting to cost Candie the match. Candie got the win over Hollywood despite this, and has challenged her old rival Alix to meet her one on one here tonight. *Cut back to a live shot, with Alix waiting, hands on her hips, for Candie.* CUE: "I Want Candy" The crowd perks up, and a sizable pop welcomes Candie as she rushes out of the back! The OAOAST starlet works the crowd in her typical fashion, urging everyone to get up on their feet. Candie jogs to the ring and slides in, but as she does, Alix dives onto her, dropping an axehandle across her back! CABOOSE A cheap shot before the bell. It's not the most respectable path to take, but it works! Alix picks Candie up and holds her by the hair, then spins around and sends Candie crashing to the mat, courtesy of a hair toss! The referee admonishes Alix, but she shouts right back at him, letting him know that the power resides in Northstar's hands, not his. Alix pulls Candie up, but Candie grabs her legs out from under her, using them to catapult Alix up and over, crashing headfirst into the turnbuckles! Alix staggers backwards, and Candie quickly rolls her up...but only for two, as Alix Spezia gets a shoulder up! Candie keeps on Alix, confronting her just as she gets to her feet and hitting a WHOO~! chop to her chest. Alix reels, and Candie hits another to cause Spezia even more discomfort. Alix tries to leave the ring, but Candie pulls her back in, then sends her to the ropes, delivering a high back bodydrop as she rebounds off the ropes! Alix crashes to the mat, and Candie pumps herself up, to the delight of the crowd. Alix begs off, scurrying backwards on her behind, as Candie stands above her. The popular young lady goes for Alix, but Alix escapes by crawling through her legs, and darting out of the ring under the bottom rope. Alix starts to head up the aisle, walking out on the match, as the crowd boos loudly. COACH Booooo! COLE Trying to rally the fans, Coach? COACH No, I was just hoping for some nip-slips. Alix makes it about halfway up the aisle, when Candie catches up to her, taking her by the hair and spinning her around, walking her back down to the ring. Alix gets tossed back in, but suddenly Candie is nailed from behind...by Hollywood! The referee didn't catch the attack, as Alix kept him distracted while Holly delivered an elbow shot to the back of Candie's head! Hollywood picks Candie up, but Candie fires off a back elbow of her own, and then rams Holly's head into the apron, taking her down! Alix walks over to the ropes, but Candie jumps onto the apron, shoulderblocking Alix through the ropes, and then leaping over with a sunset flip! Candie tries to pull Alix over, but she falls down, cradling Candie's legs, and Hollywood grabs Alix's hands for leverage! The referee can't see the cheating from his position and counts to three, giving Alix Spezia the win! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...ALIX SPEZIA! The crowd boos loudly, as Hollywood steps inside the ring, holding her head with one hand but raising Alix's hand with the other. She turns around, and starts putting the boots to Candie as she gets up, and then Alix joins in as well. It's a two on one assault! COACH Hold the fort, playas. I'll be right back! COLE Coach, what on Earth... The fans pop HUGE, as DA COACH~! jumps up from Sofa Central, and heads into the ring! Coachman spins Hollywood around, taking her attention away from Candie, and calling her on! Hollywood can't believe it, but Coach picks her up and backs her into the corner, holding her all too close! Coach tries to keep her at bay so Candie can turn the tide, but Hollywood breaks up Coach's save with a swift knee to the junk. CABOOSE Here lies Jonathan Coachman. Coach goes down and rolls out to the floor, while Alix has taken care of Candie. "More To Life" booms through the speakers, signifying a win for the General Manager's significant other, Alix Spezia. *We cut to inside GM Northstar's office. He is sitting on his desk with the team of Leon Rodez and Jacob Lyne in front of him.* Rodez: Ok Northstar...what's the big deal? Why did you want to see us? Northstar: Darling calm down.......we are waiting for one more guest........ah here she is now! *The door swings open as Crystal walks in* Crystal: What's going on here? Lyne: That's what we're wondering. Northstar: Kids kids....please........I just wanted to inform you all that you are having a match tonight! A tag match! Crystal: That's great....who are our opponents? Northstar: Dear...you seem to be under the impression that this is a 6-man tag match...it's not....it's a good old fashioned tag match. Lyne: So which one of us is left out? Northstar: Nobody! Let me finish! *everyone looks at one another with a perplexed look on there face* Northstar: It's going to be Crystal and her partner against Rodez and Lyne! Crystal: Who's my partner? Malibu? Voice: No it's me.....bitch. Crystal: Oh hell no.......... *Northstar's chair spins around to reveal Damaramu sitting in it with a smug look on his face.* Northstar: That's right......Damaramu and Crystal against Rodez and Lyne! Now get ready for your match! Now! *Rodez and Lyne exchance puzzled looks and leave as Crystal stands defiantly* Crystal: Screw this! I like those guys! And I hate this guy! So why am I with him and against them!? Northstar: Why does the wind blow? Crystal: You're dancing around it........ Northstar: Fact is that you two are going to kill each other at the Pay Per View. I figured maybe if I stepped in and had you two team up then maybe.....just maybe you will get along for once....and you won't eliminate each other at the Pay Per View. Crystal: You're nuts. You two are in this together somehow.... Northstar: I hate this man right here just as much as you Crystal....but he draws ratings....and that's what I'm after. So you will team with him tonight and you will not touch one another or you will both be fined. Understand? *Crystal storms out of the office as Northstar turns to Damaramu* Northstar: I hope you know what you are doing. Damaramu: Trust me......trust me......... *We fade out as Damaramu and Northstar exchange devious stares* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 (We cut backstage, where Josh Matthews is standing by in the mock cathedral that St. Andrew had built in the back of our HeldDOWN~! arena for worship.) JOSH: I’m standing by here, at St. Andrew’s Cathedral, awaiting to get a word from the challenger in tonight’s first-ever Parental Indiscresion match.... (Andrew emerges from the priest’s section of the confessional, and Michael and Nathaniel exit from the other part.) JOSH: Andrew, tonight, you face Sly Sommers for the X-Title in the first-ever Parental Indiscresion match. Your thoughts? ANDREW: Josh, you simple mind. Sure, this is the first match of its kind. No rules, hell, the referee doesn’t even come out until we’ve beat each other senseless for ten minutes. But this doesn’t put me at a disadvantage. Oh, no, you see, I’ve had a week to clear my head, study Sly Sommers not only as a human being, but as a person. Study his tendencies, his thoughts, his weaknesses. I’ve got him covered, and I know every hole in Sly’s armor. However, can Sly say the same for me. I doubt it. He’s got all this drama with his group almost dropping him last week, and the whole girl issue. He’s been distracted. Tonight is the perfect opportunity for the Unholy Communion to sneak in and snatch the brass ring. As for you two, stay here, but keep an eye out for any possible intruders. I want you to be in good health for your match on Sunday against the Global Party Exchange. But I also want to make sure that Mad Matt nor AJ Flaire nor anyone else comes to ruin what will be rightfully ours, tonight. Now, if you’ll excuse me son, I’ve got gold to win. (Andrew storms off; the Minions stare at Josh intimidatingly until he signs off.) (Cut back to the arena, and Sofa Central) Caboose: That is a very focused young man. Coach: Josh? Man, he's a dweeb. Cole: Coach, it's Christmas. Don't make me have to kill you. Coach: Pfft, I ain't hearing that noise. Caboose has my back, right? *silence* Coach: Shit. Cole: Well folks, up next, we've got a bit of an inpromptu match between "The Current Big Thing" Brock Ausstin and the awesome Sturgis. Ladies and gentlemen, it was just last week when Sturgis' timely run-in saved Panther from what could've been a career-ending beating at the hands of Brock Ausstin, and the situation between these two only intensified earlier today, when apparently, these two men were involved in some kind of backstage brawl, Coach. Coach: Yeah. Rick Heyross was pretty instrumental in that whole thing too, and Sturgis was so pissed, Michael, that he immediately went to Northstar and demanded this match right here tonight! Cole: That he did, and I've got a feeling that we're about to have a helluva fight on our hands! A cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." "Punishment" by BIOHAZARD starts up, as "Good Ol EC'Dub" Rick Heyross, walks out first, followed by "The Current Big Thing" Brock Ausstin. Brock stops at the top of the ramp, and starts doing his "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" Brock and Heyross continue their way down to the ring. Michael Buffer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently entering the ring, accompanied by his manager, "Good Ol EC'Dub" Rick Heyross, hailing from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 320 pounds, "The Current Big Thing" BROCK...AUSSTIN!!!!! The crowd boos in the background as the pair reaches the bottom of the ramp. Rick Heyross climbs up the ring stairs into the ring as Brock takes a vertical leap from the floor onto the ring apron. He steps through the ropes, walks towards the center of the ring and begins pacing back and forth with a look of intensity in his eyes. As Heyross approaches Brock in an attempt to calm him down, Brock's music abruptly stops, and the arena goes pitch black. A dim red spotlight shines on the entrance as "Little Crazy" by Fight hits the PA system. Suddenly...*BOOM* a burst of flames shoot up from the stage, and the crowd gives a mixed (mostly positive) reaction as Sturgis' figure appears through a thick cloud of smoke. Buffer: His opponent, hailing from Wilmington, DE! Weighing in at 325 pounds...STURGIS!!!!!!! The crowd pops at the mention of his name. As he gets closer to the ring, Sturgis begins to peel out of his entrance gear, first removing his leather trenchcoat, then removing his black mask and discarding it onto the floor. When he reaches ringside, he slides into the ring and is immediately attacked by Brock as the referee calls for the bell! *DING DING DING* Cole: Whoa! There's the bell and these two not wasting any time, folks! Brock Ausstin...man! He's all over Sturgis! Brock hammers down upon Sturgis with clubbing right hands to the head and the back of the neck, putting him down face-first onto the mat. Sturgis attempts to climb to his feet, but catches the flat of Brock's boot to the back of his head...AND AGAIN! A swift kick to the midsection causes Sturgis to roll over onto his back, clutching his ribs in pain, at which point Brock Ausstin grabs a hold of the top rope and plants his boot squarely into Sturgis' throat. Sturgis kicks and flails his legs on the mat as he gasps for air, and the referee puts the count down on Brock in an attempt to break the choke. "1......2......3......4.....5......BREAK THE HOLD!!!!!!!" "I SAID BREAK--" *THUD* Brock shoves the official HARD to the mat, drawing loud boos from the crowd. Cole: The tempers are flaring in this one, Coach! Coach: No kidding... Cole: Hey wait a damn minute! LEAVE HIM ALONE, BROCK! Brock, breathing heavily with a demented look in his eyes, begins to advance on the official, causing him to cower into a corner. Meanwhile, Sturgis uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet. He shakes off the effects of Brock's onslaught, and as soon as Brock turns around, Sturgis catches him with a hard right hand. He follows up with another! A third sends Brock staggering into the ropes! Sturgis with an Irish whip sends Brock into the ropes...Brock misses with the Clothesline of Mass Destruction coming off and runs to the other side, but is caught with a reverse elbow coming off that staggers Brock, and Sturgis follows up with a big boot that sends him tumbling through the ropes and to the outside, much to the delight of the crowd. On the floor, Rick Heyross attempts to help Brock Ausstin back to his feet, but he scurries to the other side of the ring when Sturgis climbs to the outside to follow up on Brock. He grabs the Current Big Thing by his hair, buries a hard knee lift into the gut, then slams him face-first into the ring apron, causing Brock to stagger back into the guardrail. Sturgis advances on Brock, catching him with a hard boot to the midsection and a clubbing forearm to the top of the head. Then, he grabs Brock by the hair, dragging him over towards the ringpost, when Rick Heyross jumps up in his face. Sturgis quickly disposes of Heyross with a hard boot to the chest, drawing a huge pop from the crowd. Capitalizing on the distraction from Heyross, Brock springs into action, catching Sturgis with an uppercut to the groin. Sturgis doubles over in pain, and Brock shoves him hard into the ringstairs, dinging Sturgis' left knee. Cole: Oh! Sturgis is hurt folks...this thing has been nothing more than a slugfest thus far...and where is Brock going?! What the hell... Brock tosses the timekeeper to the floor and grabs his steel chair. He then turns to Sturgis with a menacing glare as the big man attempts to pull himself back to his feet. Brock then lets loose a wild battle cry before running at Sturgis with the chair, but as he rears back to strike... ...the referee, from the ring, reaches through the ropes and snatches the chair from Ausstin. Angered, Brock turns his attention away from Sturgis and to the referee, allowing Sturgis to grab a set of camera cables and wrap them around Brock's throat. The crowd pops in the background as Sturgis cinches up on the wires! Coach: Now Michael, this isn't fair! This isn't fair at all! Cole: Sturgis with those wires is choking the life outta the Current Big Thing, Coach! Saliva and white foam pours from Brock's mouth, and his eyes appear to be ready to pop out of the sockets as the monster desperately finds a way to escape. Finally, after about a moment struggle, Brock's able to turn into the choke, and drive Sturgis backfirst into the steel stairs! Sturgis crumples to the arena floor, clutching his back in pain, as Brock goes down to one knee, taking deep, labored breaths in an attempt to get some air back into his big body. Then, Brock climbs back to his feet, grabs Sturgis by his hair and rolls him back into the ring, and, as Rick Heyross cheers his client on from, Brock returns to the timekeeper's table and grabs another chair. Cole: Now wait just a minute, Coach! Coach: He's snapped, Cole! Brock has snapped! Brock slides back into the ring, but is immediately confronted by the official, who attempts to snatch the chair away from Brock. Brock ends a brief tug of war over the chair by pie-facing the ref, shoving him HARD to the canvas once again! He then walks over to Sturgis, who's attempting to gather himself on the other side of the ring, and stands over him, preparing to strike, when... *CRACK* Cole: OH! What the hell?! ...Sturgis, using the first chair that the official snatched from Brock (which was left lying in the ring), cracks Brock HARD in the kneecap, buckling his knee!! He hits him with another shot to the knee, and the crowd begins to come alive as Sturgis springs back to his feet with the chair and follows up with a third shot to the knee!!!! Another shot to Brock's back sends him tumbling forward into the ropes, at which point Sturgis looks into the crowd with intensity! He then hits off the ropes, runs in Brock's direction, and catchs the Current Big Thing FLUSH ON THE JAW with the... Cole: SHINING 619!!!!!!! BROCK IS DOWN! BROCK IS DOWN! The crowd's going crazy in the background as Brock rolls out to the center of the ring clutching his jaw! Meanwhile, Sturgis stands on the apron, looking at Brock's fallen body with a sinister smile on his face. He attempts to step back through the ropes, but Rick Heyross catches his left ankle on the way through! Cole: Damn it! That no good leech Rick Heyross is interfering again! Sturgis attempts to shake Heyross off, but it's no use, as Rick has the ankle gripped tightly. He then reaches out to the floor, grabs Heyross by the hair, drags him up onto the apron and into the ring. The crowd pops in the background as Sturgis drags Heyross out towards the center of the ring, grabs him by the throat and DRIVES HIM TO THE MAT with a tremendous chokeslam!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sturgis stands in the ring with a look of intensity on his face, soaking up the crowd reaction before making a throat-slitting gesture, drawing a larger pop! Cole: Uh oh! Coach: We could be getting set for the end! Sturgis walks over to a fallen Brock and grabs him by the hair to lift him back to his feet. Suddenly, Brock fires off a second uppercut to Sturgis' groin, drawing loud boos from the crowd and causing the big man to stagger back into the ropes. The referee is beginning to climb to his feet on the other side of the ring as Brock grabs the steel chair and turns towards Sturgis with a sinister glare. He lets loose another wild battle cry before charging in at Sturgis and blasting him with a SKULL CRUSHING CHAIRSHOT!!!!!!!! Cole: Dear God! Did you hear that shot?! Coach: He caved his skull in! Cole: Sturgis just went down like he was shot--WAIT A MINUTE!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Suddenly, Brock turns around and BLASTS THE REFEREE WITH A CHAIRSHOT, nearly decapitating the much smaller official. The crowd boos wildly in the background as Brock begins to pound the official repeatedly with the steel chair! Cole: This sick son of a bitch!! What the hell...he's attacking the ref with that chair! Coach: We need some help out here! Brock's snapped! Cole: He's a damn lunatic! Brock nails the ref with one last chairshot before turning his attention to Sturgis, who's busted open on the other side of the ring. As the woozy Sturgis pulls himself back to his feet, Brock springs into action, ramming the chair hard Sturgis' gut. As Sturgis leans back against the ropes, clutching his ribs in pain, Brock tosses the steel chair to the mat. He then catches Sturgis with a HARD boot to the gut before lifting him onto his shoulders with a fireman's carry. Brock's limping somewhat as he walks around the ring with him, apparently still feeling the effects of Sturgis' chairshots to the knee. The damage doesn't prevent Brock to carrying the big man out to the center of the ring, however, as Brock turns towards the main camera and spins Sturgis off his shoulders, dropping him face-first ON THE STEEL CHAIR with an... Cole: F-STUNNER-5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My God! Coach: Did you see his head bounce off that chair?! Cole: My God, Sturgis is out! The referee is out! And Brock Ausstin...my God, look into that man's eyes! The crowd boos in the background as Brock sits on the mat, looking at Sturgis with almost a blank, psychotic stare on his face. He then scours the arena for a moment, breathing deep, rapid breaths before climbing back to his feet and grabbing Sturgis by the hair. Cole: Oh wait just a minute! Don't tell me... Coach: Brock's not done! Brock pulls Sturgis back to his feet an lifts him into another fireman's carry. Some ringside fans begin tossing trash into the ring as Brock glares intensely into the main camera, and gives Sturgis ANOTHER F-STUNNER-5 ON THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sturgis' head bounces hard off the chair, and Brock immediately climbs to his knees, again looking at Sturgis with a psychotic glare. Coach: You know something, Cole! If sanity were alcohol, Brock would be a Zima! Cole: (brief silence) What? Coach: I mean he's crazy! He's not there! He's whacked! He's sick! He's...he's... Cole: NOT DONE!!! Indeed. Brock once again pulls the bloody Sturgis back to his feet, and the crowd boos wildly in the background as he lifts him onto his shoulders with another fireman's carry! Cole: Sweet Jesus, Coach! This has gone on far enough! Brock's gonna try and kill this man! Brock parades Sturgis around the ring this time, looking into the crowd with that sick, twisted smile on his face, when suddenly, the fans begin to cheer in the background. Brock turns towards the main camera yet again, and just when he's about to hit the third F-Stunner-5 on Sturgis... ...PANTHER leaps the guardrail, slides into the ring and clips Brock's injured knee from behind, causing he and Sturgis to fall to the canvas. The crowd cheers wildly as Panther mounts the fallen Brock and begins hammering him with hard right hands! Cole: It's Panther!!!! Panther is assaulting Brock Ausstin... Coach: Where the hell did he come from?! Cole: Panther...he is all over Brock Ausstin here! Panther is all over Brock Ausstin! Panther springs back to his feet with a look of intensity in his eyes, as chants of "Panther, Panther" start up around the arena. He then reaches down and snatches the steel chair off the canvas, and as Brock hobbles up off the canvas, Panther rears back and cracks him in the left knee with a HARD chairshot!!!!!!!! A second one causes Brock to clutch his knee in pain, and Panther follows up with a third chairshot right to the head, putting Brock flat on his back!!! Cole: He's down!!!!!! Brock is down!!!!! Panther has just floored Brock Ausstin with that chair-- Coach: Watch Heyross... *CRACK* Cole: OH MY! Heyross, who had just gotten up from Sturgis' chokeslam, catches a chairshot as well, putting a big dent in the chair as his limp body falls to the canvas. Panther then turns his attention back to Brock, once again hitting him in his left knee with the steel chair! And again! Coach: Panther's trying to cripple Brock here! Turning the chair upside down, Panther drives the edge of the chair down into the insertion of Brock's knee, causing him to scream out in pain. Officials rush the ringside area to try and put a halt to the carnage, but Panther, swatting them away one by one with the chair. Panther's breathing deep, rapid breaths through clinched teeth as he walks back over to the fallen Brock Ausstin, grabbing his right leg and cinching up a spinning toe hold. Random "WHOOO'S" can be heard throughout the arena as Panther grabs Brock's left leg, transitioning the move into a figure four leglock! Brock screams in pain as Panther locks on the hold! Cole: Figure four! Panther's got Brock Ausstin trapped in a figure four. Coach: He is literally trying to snap Brock Ausstin's leg! Can you believe this, Cole?! Panther smiles sinisterly as Brock desperately attempts to escape the hold...adding insult to injury by slapping the Current Big Thing across the face a couple of times. More officials and HeldDOWN~! security rush the ring in an effort to pull Panther off of Brock, but Panther won't release the hold, cinching up instead to increase the pressure on the knee. After about a minute or two of trying to get Panther off of Brock, the officials finally succeed, and are able to pry Panther off of Brock Ausstin. Brock rolls around on the canvas, clutching his right knee in pain as officials drag Panther to a far corner and attempt to hold him down. The crowd cheers wildly in the background as "State Prop (You Know Us)" starts back up over the PA system. Coach: Can you believe this crap, Michael?! Cole: Hell no! It's chaotic out here! Sturgis...being attended to in the ring. Brock Ausstin...he may have a badly injured leg here folks! Coach: And look at Panther! He still wants some! He still wants to go at Brock! Cole: We were talking about Ausstin...it appears that Panther's the one that's snapped here! Panther's absolutely lost it, folks!!! 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Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 (We cut to backstage, where Sly Sommers is preparing for tonight’s huge X-Division Parental Indiscresion match, when Janet confronts him.) JANET: What do you think you were doing last week? Because you had to be a complete and total BUTT, you not only cost Scotty a chance at your belt, but you also left him really doozy, so that we couldn’t go out on that date that I thought you set up! SLY: It’s called business. He interfered with something I cherish deeply. Something that I hold above all else. Something that I’d take great pride in having..... JANET: Wait...you already have that belt. SLY: I meant.... (All of a sudden, a crew member barges in rudly.) CREW: Sly, your match is up, now! SLY: Damnit! I gotta go. But, uh, I’ll tell you later. Bye. JANET: Bye, I guess. What’d he mean? (Back to the arena, and the announce team) *We cut to a wide shot of the arena as “Nitro (Youth Energy)” by Offspring blares through the arena. Rodez and Lyne come running through the curtains as the screaming teenage girls nearly deafen the men in attendance.* Caboose: Oh my god! Somebody shut them up! I remember the time I was drug to an N*Sync concert by my Niece.......it wasn’t as bad as this!!! Cole: N*Sync? Coach: You know Cole...your favorite band! *We here a high five being exchanged between Coach and Caboose* Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman! Making there way to the ring at a total combined weight of 425 pounds.........LEEEEOOOON RODEZ! AND THE ROLE MODEL JAAAAAAACOB LYNE!!!!!!! *the sound is now deafening as the young tag team enters the ring and poses on the turnbuckles to the delight of the girls in attendance. Suddenly the screaming turns into out and out cheering as “I’m Just A Girl” by No Doubt hits. The red and white lights flash around the entrance as Crystal steps through the curtain.* Announcer: And there opponents! Introducing first! Weighing in at 130 pounds......THE FEMALE PHENOM..........CRRRRYSTAL!!!! Coach: They sure do love my girl here. Caboose: Yeah but she’s got to team with a guy who I have been very impressed with. Cole: I’m impressed with Damaramu’s skill...but Caboose I have a feeling that’s not the only reason you’re impressed with him. Caboose: He’s got a good attitude. It’ll get him far. Coach: You know I was thinking the same thing. Cole: Is that why you pee yourself everytime he comes out here? Caboose: Please! Gentleman! The match! *The opening guitar rift to “I Stand Alone” by Godsmack hits as all the lights in the arena go out. The spotlight settles on Damaramu who is quickly making his way to the ring.* Announcer: And her partner! Weighing in at 248 pounds............THE BLACK HEART.........DAMARAMU!!! * The fans all begin to boo very loudly as he enters the ring and walks right past his opponents to talk trash to Crystal* Cole: Well that’s smart. Snub your opponents to insult your partner. Coach: Well looks like Rodez and Lyne will have none of that! *Rodez and Lyne both look at each other then pounce on Damaramu punching him from behind down to the ground. Crystal smirks and steps onto the apron awaiting a possible tag.* Caboose: That’s cheap! They attacked him from behind! And Lyne calls himself a Role Model!? *Rodez spins Dama around and DDT’s him into the mat as Lyne hits the ropes and comes back with a cartwheel moonsault! Pin!* 1!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!! Kick out by Dama!* Cole: Well they were going for the quick victory there. Caboose: Damaramu would’ve eaten them for lunch had they not attacked him from behind. Cole: Well it’s down to one on one now as the ref is hurrying Rodez out of the ring! Let’s see if Dama can hold his own! *Lyne sends Dama into the ropes and jumps up and delivers a hurricarana as he comes back in! Dama hits the mat as Lyne runs over to him and delivers a few stomps before placing both feet on Dama’s face and raking them down. Dama grips his face as Lyne pulls him up. Lyne sends Dama flying into the ropes but Dama slides out under the bottom to catch a breather.* Caboose: Smart move! Go to the outside! Grab a breather! Coach: Not so smart when you’re facing a high flyer like Lyne! *Indeed it was not to smart as Lyne runs to the ropes and delivers a picture perfect twisting plancha right to Dama on the outside! Dama crumbles to the mat as Lyne pulls him up and sends him back in. Dama tries to crawl to Crystal but Lyne comes rushing forward and delivers an elbow. Dama stops his crawl as Lyne grabs his leg and drags him back to the corner. Lyne tags in Rodez who comes in and pulls Dama up. Both men hook him up and its..........double suplex! Rodez with the cover as Lyne leaves the ring! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT!* Cole: What was that about Dama eating them for lunch? They’re eating his lunch right now apparently! Coach: Do you even know what you’re saying Coach? Caboose(ignoring them): After that devastating sneak attack Rodez and Lyne are pulling the double team to keep Dama on the mat! *Rodez sends Dama into the ropes and hits a dropkick to his face when he comes back in. Rodez hits the ropes and comes back with a running Senton! Rodez pulls Dama up and steps back as Dama stands there a little bit woozy. Finally Rodez spins around with a back kick! Dama hits the mat! He tags in Lyne! Lyne goes up top! Flying Elbow! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! IT’S BROKEN UP BY CRYSTAL!* Cole: Well looks like Crystal has decided to work with Damaramu! Caboose: And it was a good thing to. Rodez and Lyne figured out a great strategy in that they needed to keep Dama on the mat with quick impact moves and try to drive the wind out of him! That may have been it if not for Crystal! *Lyne holds the back of his head and stands to his feet as Dama does to. Dama goes for a punch but Lyne ducks under! Dama turns around! Belly to belly suplex! Lyne tags in Rodez! Rodez comes in.....pulls Dama up! Backs up to the corner! TORNADO DDT......NO! Dama throws him off and Rodez bounces off of the mat! Dama falls back into the ropes and tries to gain his bearings. Dama begins crawling for Crystal as she leans in for the tag! The fans are torn as to who to cheer for! A small Dama chant begins on one side of the arena but it is quickly silence by the chants of “Rodez! Rodez! Rodez!” Dama makes the corner and tags in Crystal! The fans explode for the female phenom! Crystal is a house on fire! She runs over to Rodez and begins delivering right hands. Rodez is reeling into the ropes. Crystal sends him in and catches him with a flying spinning back kick on his way in! Rodez hits the mat as Crystal jumps back up and dropkicks Lyne off the apron! Lyne falls and jumps back up angry and charages into the ring only to be stopped by the ref as Crystal backs Rodez into the corner and punches him in the stomach while Dama chokes him with the tag rope!* Coach: What’s going on!? Cole: That’s not like Crystal at all! Caboose: She realizes that a lot of money is riding on this match if she doesn’t get along with Damaramu! *Crystal then delivers a few chops to Rodez’s chest and pulls him forward into position for a suplex.......Crystal pulls off a beautiful snap suplex.....she holds on! She spins her hips and comes back to her feet........suplex! She signals for another one and spins back around to her feet........suplex!!! Rodez looks a little dazed after being hit by 3 suplexes from Crystal! Crystal with the cover!* 1!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rodez manages to kick out with authority right after 2!* Cole: It’s going to take a lot more than that to keep a guy like Rodez down! Caboose: Crystal is working it smart though! She’s trying to drive the wind right from his body so that he can’t make such quick kick outs! I’m surprised she hasn’t tried to mess up his pretty face...which is what I would do. Coach: Well Dama hasn’t been on offense yet...you might get that. *Crystal pulls Rodez up and spins him around delivering a hard german suplex! Rodez almost looks like he was folded in two! Crystal comes over onto Rodez and begins delivering elbows while they are on the ground!* Caboose: Crystal is getting aggressive here! Dama brings out the best in you! *Crystal looks at Damaramu with a look of disgust as she reluctantly tags him into the ring. Dama steps through the ropes smiling a little and tying his hair back tight after it was messed up by the beating he received from Lyne and Rodez. Rodez begins coming to his feet as Dama hits the ropes! YAKUZA KICK! Rodez is down! Dama hits the ropes again! Leg drop! Cover! 1!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kick out!* Caboose: Oh man! Dama is in and he’s moving at double speed! Look at those quick succession of moves! He’s trying to end this one quickly! Show Crystal he can get the job done! *Dama pulls Rodez up and backs him into the corner delivering elbow smashes! They get to the corner and Dama goes for a Rolling Elbow! Rodez ducks! THE FANS EXPLODE! Rodez goes for his own elbow! Dama ducks behind him! Superkick to the back of the head throws Rodez forward into the turnbuckle! The fans boo loudly after there hopes were raised! Dama puts Rodez up on the top rope!* Cole: What’s he going to do? Perhaps a backdrop driver? Caboose: No he’s climbing to the first rope! He’s turning around! Looks like a razor’s edge!! *Indeed Damaramu comes off the first rope bringing Rodez from the top with a hard razor’s edge! Rodez lands right on his head! Cover! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!NOOOOO!YES!RODEZ KICKS OUT AS THE FANS GO NUTS!* Caboose: I THOUGHT HE HAD HIM! Cole: Rodez and Lyne are still in this! *Dama curses and pulls Rodez to his feet. Dama puts his head down and hooks his arms!* Caboose: Looks like he’s going for the tiger driver! *Dama instead picks Rodez up over his head by his arms! Rodez’s arms are hooked behind his back as Dama holds him over his head and then steps to the side dropping to his knees as Rodez bounces off the mat next to him!* Caboose: I have no clue what that was! But it looks like it hurt like hell! Wait Lyne can’t stand it anymore!!! *Lyne charges into the ring to save Rodez but the ref jumps in front of him pushing him back! Dama throws Rodez into the corner and demands that Crystal choke him with the tag rope. Crystal stares at Dama before turning around and refusing!* Caboose: That bitch! Cole: Hey she’s doing the right thing! Caboose: So it’s fine for Rodez and Lyne to double team Damaramu but not ok for Damaramu and Crystal to double team!? Cole: Not when you’re choking someone with a tag rope behind the ref’s back! *Dama shoves Rodez out of the way into the ropes and spins Crystal around. They begin to argue as the fans begin to cheer loudly....Rodez is crawling for his corner! Rodez keeps crawling as Dama and Crystal continue to argue! Crystal tries to point it out to Dama but he continues to insult her before finally turning around! RODEZ IS AT THE CORNER! HE TAGS IN LYNE!* Cole: Dama’s going to pay for that now! Caboose: He should’ve called a time out to get his team in order! Coach: There are no time outs in wrestling! Caboose: Well there should be for situations like this! *Lyne runs to Dama who tries a lariat. Lyne ducks........dropkick right to Dama’s face! Dama hits the mat as Lyne goes up top! CROP CIRCLE! HE HITS THE CROP CIRCLE OUT OF NOWHERE! PINFALL! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! NOOO! CRYSTAL RUSHES IN AND BREAKS IT UP!* Cole: That would’ve been three! *Rodez rushes in now and attacks Crystal. Lyne gets to his feet and also rushes at Crystal and delivers a few punches as Dama begins to stir. Rodez turns and notices him and rushes at Dama as he stands.....both men fly over the top rope to the outside!* Coach: IT’S BREAKING LOOSE OUT HERE!!! IT’S LIKE A BAR FIGHT! BY GAWD! Cole: Where did that come from? Coach: I don’t know....I’m sorry................ Caboose: Crystal’s not legal! But the ref is allowing it! *Crystal sends Lyne into the ropes and catches him on his way back in with a superkick! Crystal pulls him back up. She goes for another one! He ducks! Hurricarana! NO! Crystal reverses into a powerbomb! He’s gotta be out! On the outside Dama sends Rodez flying into the ring post! CRYSTAL GOES TO THE SECOND ROPE! SHE SPRINGS TO THE TOP AND DELIVERS A HUGE MOONSAULT AS DAMA IS GOING UP TOP TO!* Caboose: Looks like a double team as Dama is going to come off the top onto Lyne as well! *Crystal shows no signs of knowing of a double team as she goes for the cover! She’s not legal! Dama comes flying out of nowhere! FROG SPLASH TO THE BACK OF CRYSTAL’S HEAD AS SHE TRIES TO STAND UP! SHE’S OUT COLD!* Cole: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? HE SHOULD BE FINED! HE JUST ATTACKED CRYSTAL! *the ref doesn’t say anything as Dama pulls Lyne up.......he picks him up on his shoulders in position for the Dama Hammer!!! HE HITS A HARD DAMA HAMMER DROPPING LYNE ON HIS FACE AND NECK! COVER! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ............................3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S OVER!* DING DING DING! Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman! Your winners.......the team of DAMARAMU AND CRYSTAL! *the fans boo as Dama stands to celebrate. Crystal rolls over holding her head as Dama points to the crowd while they boo as loudly as possible at him.* Cole: That’s disgusting! He’s only out for himself! Caboose: Smart move by Damaramu! He knew that he was the legal man and he went for a frog splash to put Lyne away! It wasn’t his fault that Crystal wouldn’t move! She’s a damn glory hog! Coach: DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT!? *Dama tosses Lyne out of the ring as he turns to the aisle and smiles. The fans boo even more as Silver Star and Flameout enter the ring.* Cole: Are they here to kick Dama’s ass? Remember what he did to them at Deadly Game??? Coach: Yeah he whipped there asses. By himself. *Silver Star and Flameout both turn and begin stomping on Crystal while Damaramu goes to the outside and grabs a chair.* Caboose: Damaramu’s making sure that he’s going to have an easy pay per view match! *Both pull Crystal up and hold her by the arms as Dama leans over and begins to talk to bad mouth Crystal. He slaps her in the face a few times as she looks at him half concious. Dama steps back and jabs her in the stomach with the chair!* Cole: This is wrong....so wrong. Coach: Dammit! Does he have the GM’s office on his side now!? *Dama steps back lifting the chair over his head to deliver a handicapping blow to Crystal’s head! The fans explode! Dama turns as Rodez and Lyne charge into the ring! They double clothesline Dama and begin punching Flameout and Silver Star! Dama pulls himself to his feet and grabs Crystal dragging her by her hair away from the fight. He pulls her up but she comes alive! Crystal begins punching Damaramu like a wild woman! She steps back and delivers a Super Kick sending Dama flying out of the ring! Dama’s face smacks against the mats as Crystal looks down at him! Rodez hits the Shining Wizards on a Silver Star that is trying to make his way to his feet! He crumbles and rolls out of the ring! Lyne hits a Lyne Driver on Flameout! Flameout lands next to the ropes as Silver Star drags him out of the ring after the vicious drop.* Cole: They took care of business! Coach: Crystal sent Dama flying! And Rodez and Lyne made short work of the Acolytes of Northstar! *Dama wonders up the ramp holding his jaw as Flameout and Silver Star walk up and get behind him. Dama stares a hole through Crystal as she stands in the ring with Rodez and Lyne beside her pointing at Damaramu.* Cole: Here we are again with Damaramu and Crystal staring one another down! Nobody can get the advantage! Coach: I’d say Crystal got the advantage! He’s tucking tail and running! *Dama continues to back up the ramp flanked by the Acolytes as he stares at Crystal who stares right back.* FADE TO COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 We're back, and so is Jeremy Red. He is still in the wristlock as we return to footage of him in training. Cruel:Boy, you have been in this move for three and a half hours and you still haven't figured out a counter. Red:Please, let go. You are uh breaking my ,what's that body part called, wrist. Cruel:No, boy. Not until you figure out a counter. Red slumps down to the canvas and he is actually CRYING while in a wristlock. That is the most basic move in wrestling next to the clothesline, but then again he screwed that one up too. Back at the arena, the fans are heard cheering in the background, as the screen shows the former World Champion, Zack Malibu, chatting with his ladyfriend, Candie. Zack: You're sure you're ok? Candie: All that's really hurt is my pride. I'll get those bitches soon enough. Zack: Hehe. Don't let Northstar hear you say that. *Suddenly, the last voice that either of them want to hear is heard.* Northstar: There's my baby! Zack: What in the name of god? Who the hell invited you here? Shouldn't you be busy helping your girls beat up on poor Candie? Northstar: Well, first things first. Candie my darling, I want to apologize on behalf of both my wicked stepsister, as well as Alix. Heat of the moment and all, you know? Candie: Uh...right. Whatever, Northstar. Northstar: Aw, please don't take that tone. Not when I've got a present for you. Candie: A present? What did you get me, Northstar? A restraining order so I don't have to be within 100 feet of your cologne overdosed body? Northstar: What a cad! No, sweetie, actually I'm giving you a match. I know you want REVENGE and all that silly jazz, so I'm giving you the chance. At the PPV this Sunday, you can take on both Alix and Hollywood in a special Ladies Only Handicap Match. Candie: What's the difference? It's always 2 on 1 with them, and you let it happen! Northstar: And I'm letting it happen again, this time to increase buyrates. OK? OK. Zack: You've got some nerve booking her in a handicap match. And another thing, next time you want to come in here....don't. Northstar: Don't? Love, is that any way to talk to your favorite GM? Zack: Tim Moysey is my favorite GM. Northstar: Honey, please. Tim Moysey turned you into a cheap Kevin Nash knockoff, minus a couple inches and several hundred pounds. Tim Moysey was the worst thing that ever happened to you, sugar. Zack: Maybe in the sick and twisted world you live in Tim Moysey was a bad guy. But back here on planet earth, Tim Moysey was a good man who never played mind games with a single person. He respected the talent and we respected him. Which is more than I can say for you. Leave. Northstar: You don't really want me to leave do you, love? I haven't even given you your Christmas present. Zack: Whatever you've got, I don't want. Northstar: But Zackie-poo! It took me forever to pick out just the right gift for you, a man who has everything and everyone. Please let me give it to you. Zack: Okay, okay. Whatever will get you out of my face quicker. Just give me your damn present. Northstar: Wonderful! For Christmas of 2003, I, Northstar give you, Zack Malibu, my forgiveness. Zack: Your forgiveness? Northstar: That's right, bubble BUTT! As my gift to you, I'm forgiving you for all past transgressions against me. And believe me honey, there are a lot. Zack: I don't want your forgiveness! I didn't give you an apology to accept. What do I have to be sorry for? What did I ever to do you? You're the one who put me through an entrance ramp. You're the one who got the love of my life to dump me on national TV! That was you! You've been playing messed games with my head since you became GM. You! And you have the nerve to forgive me, when I've done nothing wrong. When I never have and never will apologize to you........GET OUT! Northstar: Honey.... Zack: OUT! Northstar: But Zackie bear.... Zack: I SAID "OUT"!!! (Zack grabs Northstar by his $180 Cousteau shirt and literally throws him out of his locker room. As Northstar tries to get back in Zack slams the door on his nose!) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 Cue: ‘Seven Nation Army’ by The White Stripes *The crowd boos heavily for the arrival of Satori, the female member of the Rat Pack. COLE: Well, to my knowledge, this is one of the first times that we have seen this dangerous female in the ring. She is a friend of Ragdoll’s, so she’s gotta be dangerous. CABOOSE: Damn, I wouldn’t mind letting her slap me around a bit! *The lights go down and red spotlights run through the arena* Cue: ‘The Game’ by Disturbed The crowd gets hyped up as the first few lines of the song are delivered, and then, at the appropriate time… BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The Pyro EXPLODES as Axel stands at the entrance way. He does the crucifix pose, and then walks down to the ring and steps in. He looks at Satori and nods approvingly, and then slumps in the corner. COLE: Well, there is the man that will meet Peter Knight this Sunday at Bloody, Battered and Beaten, The Dark One, and boy didn’t he have a lot to say tonight. COACH: Yeah, damn this guy has got a lot of opinions. COLE: In any event, Axel has heat with both of his male opponents tonight, Knight, and our Worlds Heavyweight Champion. CABOOSE: Well, he never said anything bad about me, so I like the guy. Cue: "Handsome Devil" by The Smiths The crowd goes insane with rage as the number one contender to the OAOAST Championship, RAGDOLL, appears at the entrance way. COLE: Here comes one of the sickest human beings that I have ever set eyes on CABOOSE: That’s right Michael, this guy is GREAT! Ragdoll, with the ever-present cigarette puffing in his mouth, steps into the ring and face to face with Axel. The two men take a step back, and shake hands. COLE: The Devil Doll coming face to face with Satan himself, could you have any more of an intimidating tag team? COACH: And from what I have heard about Satori, she is one hell of an evil young lady herself. Cue: "I love Rock n' Roll" by Joan Jett The jeers turn to cheers as the new Mrs. Baker, Josie, appears at the entrance way with her eyes fixed on Ragdoll. Ragdoll is in the ring with a sick smile on his face. COLE: I can’t believe that General Manager Northstar has made Josie compete here tonight, it’s just appalling. CABOOSE Look on the Brightside Michael; we might get to see some TITTEEEEEESSSSS! COLE: Shut up, you pervert. COACH: Well Michael you had better hope to god that Ragdoll doesn’t get in the ring when Josie’s in there, you don’t know what the guy’s capable of! COLE: We can only hope. Cue: ‘Oh Hell Yeah’ by H-Blocx *The crowd pops even bigger as Peter Knight makes his way out to stand beside Josie. He looks straight at Axel, and points directly at him* COLE: No prizes for guessing who PK wants. CABOOSE: Is it Ragdoll? Is it? *dead silence* COLE: Aaaaaaaanyway, PK and Axel will meet this Sunday, and PK will have a huge chance to prove that he is a singles player in this company, and he can be a title contender. *The music dies down, and the crowd waits for the Champ’s arrival* Cue: ‘I’m the Bomb’ by Electric Six ‘Three, two, one, I’M THE BOMB!’ *The crowd pops a whole lot bigger than they usually do for The Champ, as Calvin Szechstein makes his way out to ringside* COLE: Remember the storied history between Calvin and Peter Knight. The Dream Machines and Totally Endorsed had many brutal wars earlier this year, so I doubt there is going to be complete teamwork between the two men. Calvin looks at PK and PK turns to look at Calvin. Both men nod, and they charge into the ring to meet their adversaries. The four men share words while the referee tries to keep order, and Josie continues to stare at Ragdoll. Axel and Ragdoll confer while Satori steps to the apron. In the other corner, Josie quickly steps back through the ropes while Knight and Calvin talk strategy (well, Calvin does most of the talking and tells Knight to hold on when he tries to add something). COLE: Looks like Ragdoll is going to start the match for his team. Calvin seems to be ready to start for his team, but he sees Ragdoll waiting for him and slaps Knight on the shoulder, jerking his thumb towards Ragdoll. COLE: What the hell is that all about? CABOOSE: Calvin just wants to see if Ragdoll is worthy of his presence. Knight enters the ring and pulls on the ropes while looking over Ragdoll. The two men circle and lock up, and Rags forces Knight into the corner, backing off as the ref gets to a four count and slapping Knight hard in the face. Rags smirks as Knight flexes his jaw and they lock up again. Rags grabs a headlock but Knight shoots him off the ropes, dropping down and letting Rags hop over him, and then snapping off a belly to belly on the rebound. Knight marches back to his corner and tags in Calvin, who is suddenly raring to go and quickly hops into the ring. COACH: Calvin looks like he wanted to start this match! CABOOSE: Why was Knight so selfish? COLE: ….. Ragdoll sees Calvin and quickly runs on his knees to his corner, tagging in Axel. Axel steps in and circles Calvin, sharing some words with Knight as he passes him. Axel goes for Calvin’s leg, but Calvin steps aside and stomps Axel, picking him up and whipping him off the ropes, taking him down with a Source Hip(-Hop Awards) toss. He gets another as Axel gets back up and then armdrags him down into an armbar. Axel struggles back to his feet and counters by going behind Calvin with a wristlock. Calvin grabs Axel’s head and tries to flip out of it, but when he gets vertical, Axel just drops him to the mat and goes for a quick cover. 1… 2…. Calvin kicks out. Axel grabs his arm and tags in Ragdoll, who goes up to the top and hits an axe handle on Calvin’s arm. CABOOSE: Here comes the #1 contender for the title. We’re about to see a preview of Sunday, guys. Rags drives his elbow into Calvin’s arm and shoulder and yanks it up and down, slapping on a hammerlock to injure the arm further. Calvin waves his good arm around, looking for the ropes, but Rags keeps him in the center of the ring. Knight stretches out for a tag, but Calvin is nowhere near him. Rags keeps the pressure on as Calvin grimaces in pain, and the crowd claps to try and get behind Calvin. COACH: Guess Calvin isn’t so bad that the fans can get behind him here. COLE: That’s because Ragdoll is one of the most unlikable people I’ve ever met. Calvin turns towards the corner and charges toward it, running up the turnbuckles and flipping over Ragdoll, ending up behind him and hitting a backdrop suplex. Calvin uses his bad arm though, so he clutches it in pain as Ragdoll holds his own head. Calvin slides towards his corner as Knight stretches out as far as he can and Josie just puts her hand out. Calvin crawls closer as Ragdoll gets to his feet and goes towards him. Ragdoll almost grabs his leg, but Calvin manages to make the tag….. …to Josie. COLE: What!? What did he do that for? CABOOSE: Well geez, Cole, it’s not like HE cares who comes in, as long as he gets out. Josie has a look of shock on her face as Knight yells at Calvin. Meanwhile, Ragdoll sees the ref ordering Josie to enter, an evil smile crossing his lips. COLE: Oh no, Josie didn’t even volunteer for this match and now she has to get in the ring with THIS sicko. Knight tries to offer Josie some encouragement, and it seems to work, as Josie musters up all the courage she has and steps through the ropes….only to see Ragdoll tag in Satori. COACH: See Coach, Ragdoll has SOME pity for her. And now we’re going to see two chicks going at it!! Satori steps through the ropes and rubs her hands in glee as Josie looks over in worry to Calvin, who just tells her to go for it. COLE: So now Josie is in the ring with a woman that has trained longer and is probably just as unstable as Ragdoll. Big upgrade. CABOOSE: ….you want to get in her pants, don’t you? Satori circles Josie while Josie twists her head around to keep Satori in her sight. Satori waves punches at her and teases her like a schoolyard bully. She makes a “come on” motion. KNIGHT: Keep her in your sight!!! Don’t make yourself vulnerable!!! Unfortunately, Josie does neither as she looks over at Knight as he yells at her, allowing Satori to tackle her from behind and rub her face in the mat, laughing. Satori picks her up and slams her back down to the mat, pushing Josie back on her back as she tries to get back up. COLE: Satori isn’t even taking Josie seriously; she’s just TOYING with her. Satori whips her off the ropes and nails her with a beautiful spinning wheel kick to the face, going for a cover. 1…. 2…. Satori pulls her off the mat before the three. She pulls Josie up by the hair and talks smack, turning her to look at Ragdoll smiling at her. Satori pulls Josie towards her and hits a northern lights suplex, bridging for the pin. 1…. 2….. Satori breaks the pin herself again. Satori continues to bully Josie, slapping her face and daring her to take a shot. When Josie does, Satori easily avoids it and stomps her chest. Satori leans closer to talk more smack, but Josie summons all her strength and POPS Satori with a right hand to the jaw, sending her crashing to the mat. COLE: YEAH!! In a fit of rage, Josie jumps to her feet and onto Satori, slapping and clawing her face while slamming her head into the mat as the fans go nuts. COACH: I agree!! TEAR OFF HER SHIRT!!!! Before that can happen, Ragdoll comes in and roughly throws Josie off Satori, drawing both Knight and Calvin in. Axel joins them, and a four-way brawl breaks out, Calvin and Ragdoll and Knight and Axel. Satori gets back to her feet, but Josie tackles her down. COLE: It’s BEDLAM in this match now; the ref has totally lost control. Ragdoll and Axel get the upper hand, and both men get an Irish whip on their respective opponents. Both PK and Calvin come off the ropes and duck clotheslines, and then they hit stereo clotheslines of their own! All four men make it back to their corners, where Josie tags in PK and Satori tags in Ragdoll. PK charges at Ragdoll and hits a clothesline. Ragdoll gets up quickly and runs at PK, who hits a BAAAAAAAACK body drop! PK gets Ragdoll up and gives him an Irish whip, Ragdoll reverses, PK ducks a clothesline and goes for an STO, Ragdoll fights out of it and pushes PK to his corner, where he runs into Calvin. PK turns around, right into RED LABEL! Ragdoll goes for a cover, but Calvin is now the legal man! COLE Blind tag made here! Ragdoll doesn’t know! CABOOSE Probably all that Heroin. *eerie silence* Calvin boots Ragdoll hard in the back of the head, picks him up, and gives him the New Line Cinema Neckbreaker! Cover by the Champion! 1… 2… Kickout by Ragdoll at 2! Calvin goes up to the top rope, and poses to the camera before ‘endorsing’ Miramax. CABOOSE Might be an elbow in Ragdoll’s future here! Calvin launches himself off the top rope and positions his elbow… …but Ragdoll moves out of the way! Calvin clutches his elbow in pain! Ragdoll gets up and grabs Calvin by the hair, before tagging in Axel. COLE You gotta believe that Axel has been waiting for this opportunity for some time now. Axel grabs Calvin and measures him, and hits him with a F’N STIFF right hand that sends Calvin crashing down to the mat. Axel grabs Calvin and hooks him up, before doing the crucifix pose with one arm, and spiking Calvin for an Evenflow DDT! Cover! 1… 2… NO! Calvin gets a shoulder up! CABOOSE Champs in trouble here, he’s gotta tag Knight in. Axel sends Calvin flying into the corner, and he hits it hard. Axel grabs Calvin for a scoop slam, but instead puts him in the Tree of Woe! COLE Uh-oh, this could end up really bad. Axel points at Calvin and grins. He walks to the opposite corner, measures Calvin, and runs! Axel slides, and smashes his boots right into Calvin’ head! COLE Oh my god! COACH Calm down Joey! Calvin falls out of the Tree of Woe, and Axel takes him over to Ragdoll, who he tags in. Ragdoll kicks Calvin hard in the back, and gives him an Irish whip. Calvin reverses, leapfrogs Ragdoll, and hits a Crossbody! 1… 2… Ragdoll kicks out with authority! Ragdoll charges at Calvin with a clothesline, Calvin does a commando roll under, and hits a high dropkick to the face of Ragdoll! Ragdoll gets up, and immediately hits a hard clothesline on Calvin. Ragdoll picks Calvin up and positions him for a Powerbomb, Ragdoll gets Calvin up, but Calvin reverses into a Hurricanrana! Both men are down! 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… COLE Both of these men have to look for a tag! Calvin has turned the tide of this contest so quickly! 6… 7… 8… Calvin and Ragdoll reach for tags…. And they tag in PK AND AXEL! Axel charges at PK, and PK gets a clothesline! Axel charges again, but gets another clothesline! Ragdoll comes in and runs at PK, but he gets a BAAAAACK Body drop! Axel charges, PK ducks a clothesline, and THIS TIME hits the STO! PK picks Axel up, and gives him a Vertical Suplex. PK holds on, and gives Axel another Vertical suplex! PK goes for a third, and this time hits a Falcon Arrow! Cover by PK! 1… 2… 3… NO! Ragdoll breaks it up! COLE Ragdoll saved Axel there! This match should be over! PK walks over to his corner and tags in Calvin. Calvin goes for a clothesline, Axel reverses, but Calvin hits a Spear! Calvin with hard right hands to the head of Axel! Calvin comes off the ropes, and hits a quick leg drop! Calvin slaps the face of Axel and talks trash! Calvin puts his hand around the throat of Axel and blatantly chokes him! The referee counts to four, and Calvin breaks the hold! Calvin chokes Axel again, and again he breaks the hold after the four count. Ragdoll steps into the ring but the referee goes straight over to stop him from coming into the ring! Calvin gets up and grabs Axel by the hair, but Axel gets a low blow! COLE The referee didn’t see it! Ragdoll had the referee distracted! Calvin and Axel both crawl to their corners and tag in the ladies of the matchup. Josie runs at Satori and takes her down by the legs and starts slapping away at the side of here head. COACH Go Josie Go! Rip her clothes off! Josie grabs Satori by the hair and flings her to the otheride of the ring! COLE That’s gotta hurt your roots. CABOOSE Please Michael, it’s a family show. Josie goes for a cover, and even hooks the leg! 1… Satori throws Josie off of her! Satori runs at Josie and hits a Spinning Wheel kick! Satori grabs Josie and hits a Crossover Clothesline! COLE That impact was sickening! She could be hurt! Satori picks Josie up again and signals for the end! Satori hooks her up, and hits the Satori movement! COLE Its over! 1… 2… NO! Calvin breaks up the three! Calvin grabs Satori and plants her with a Powerbomb! Calvin drags Satori over to her corner and throws her at Ragdoll. COLE Calvin just took out Satori! It’s down to two on two! Ragdoll steps into the ring and he and Calvin size each other up. Ragdoll goes for a clothesline but Calvin ducks under, right hands by Calvin to the face of Ragdoll, Irish whip by Calvin, but Ragdoll comes off the ropes and hits DECEPTACON! 1… 2… NO! Calvin gets a shoulder up at the last second! COLE I thought it was over right there! COACH You and me both, but Calvin has great resiliency. Ragdoll goes for the Irish Whip into the corner, Calvin reverses, Ragdoll puts on the brakes and runs at Calvin, Ragdoll goes for another Deceptacon… … but Calvin moves and Ragdoll gets the referee!!! COLE We have a referee down! COACH Well, duh! Ragdoll turns around, kick to the midsection by Calvin, sets him up, and hits the Code Red Clash!!! 1… 2… 3… 4… 4??? NO REFEREE!!!! Calvin tries to revive the referee, but he won’t get up! COLE You could count to three, thirty three or until tomorrow, and Ragdoll’s shoulders would still be down. Dammit ref, get up! Axel grabs a chair from ringside and goes to slide it into the ring, but Peter Knight comes around and floors Axel with a clothesline! PK grabs Axel and goes for The Knightmare on the outside, but Axel slips behind and hits a low blow! Axel picks up the chair and measures PK, PK turns around, and WHAM~! Axel with a HARD chair shot to the face of Peter Knight! COLE That was sickening! PK’s face splattered all over that steel chair! Axel slides into the ring with the chair, where Calvin is still trying to revive the referee. He measures Calvin, and SMASHES Calvin in the back with the chair! Ragdoll gets up and smiles a sick smile at Axel. Axel nods approvingly. COLE What are they thinking here? CABOOSE I dunno, but it must be good! Calvin gets up to his knees, and Axel dropkicks him in the face so his head goes back. Axel positions the chair beside his head, and Ragdoll goes over the otherside of the ring! COLE No, they can’t do this! Ragdoll runs at Calvin… And hits a DEVIL DOLL THROUGH THE CHAIR!!! COLE OH MY GOD! CABOOSE Holy Shit! Ragdoll looks at Axel, that sick smile even more present now, and Ragdoll covers Calvin! The Referee wakes up! 1… 2… COLE No! Not like this! 3!!!! *DING DING DING!* Cue: ‘Handsome Devil’ by The Smiths ANNOUNCER: Here are your winners, Satori, AXEL and RAGDOLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! COLE These two men disgust me. How can they sleep at night? Peter Knight comes into the ring, his face a bloody mess. He runs at Axel, but Axel ducks behind! Axel picks PK up on his shoulders, and hits an Axel Slam! COLE Axel Slam on Peter Knight My GOD! I can’t believe this! Axel climbs out of the ring and grabs the OAOAST Title off of the timekeeper. He slides into the ring and gives it to Ragdoll, who looks mesmerised by it. COACH Looks to me like that could be something we see this Sunday, a new Champ could happen this weekend guys. Axel and Ragdoll drag Calvin and PK to the centre of the ring, both The Champion and Knight a bloody mess. Ragdoll drapes the title belt over the chest of Calvin Szechstein, and laughs! They stand over there fallen bodies, and Ragdoll joins Axel in doing the Crucifix Pose! COLE Axel and Ragdoll have left Calvin and Peter Knight Bloody, Battered and Beaten! What could be the outcome this Sunday? Could we see Ragdoll as the New OAOAST Champion? CABOOSE Well these two have certainly made one hell of an impression tonight! What a match! What a dominant team these two make! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 (Northstar is sitting in backstage lounge sipping on a Mudslide and reading the latest issue of Cosmo) Alix: Hey sweet-stuff! Pig head Charlie told me you were looking for me. Northstar: Eh, Chuckles isn't so bad once you get to know him. Any way I wanted to give you your Christmas gift. I've been so busy setting up the show that I haven't had any time to give it to ya. Alix: Oh, that's okay. I know you've got a mega heavy work load. Besides, I thought we weren't getting each other gifts. I seem to remember a certain someone saying how the commercialism of the holidays has destroyed the true meaning of Christmas. A true meaning that involves showing love, respect, and mercy towards man, woman and child. Northstar: Did I say that? Alix: Yessir, you certainly did. Northstar: Ah well, I still believe it. But this is our first Christmas as an item, and we're only going to have one first Christmas, so I thought why don't I get a little hypocritical and get my pretty belle something special. Alix: Awww, you really didn't have to.... Northstar: Sure I did. It's not much, but I think you'll really find it helpful and very reliable. Alix: Reliable? Did you buy me a car? Northstar: Better! Come here Lil Alix. ( A closet door opens. Alix and Northstar look down to see a smallish Chimp dressed in a red tutu and a red and white polka dot bow emerge from the back. A look of puzzled disappointment crosses Alix's face) Northstar: Lil Alix meet Alix. Alix meet Lil Alix. Your Christmas gift! Alix: Oh......you got me a monkey. Uh, that's, uh that's great. Thanks. Northstar: You don't like her? Alix: No, no, I love it...her. She's wonderful. Really, she is. When I was a little girl I had two dreams, to work for a wrestling company and to own a tutu wearing monkey. You've..you've made both dreams come true. Thanks. Northstar: Wait, it's not a monkey. It's a chimp. And it's not just any chimp. Oh no. It's highly trained circus chimp. Alix: Wow, never in my wild dreams could I imagine getting a circus chimp. Um, thanks. Now we can have it perform a little show on the coffee table when people come over. That's great. Northstar: You don't like it. Alix: No..it's just that...that I wasn't really expecting a gift. And I certainly wasn't expecting a chimp. I don't really know how to take care of a chimp. But, I do like it....I guess. Northstar: Maybe you'll like what she's got in her hand a little better. (The chimp proudly displays a tiny black box. She eagerly hands it to Northstar who opens it up to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. He gets onto one knee causing the entire female population to shriek uncontrollably) Alix: Oh...god. Don't do this. You don't have to... Northstar: I want to. (Alix covers her face and turns away from Northstar) Alix:....You don't..you don't have to. Northstar: I want to. Alix: You don't know that. Northstar: I do. I know that I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. Because, you know the real me. You don't see Northstar the wrestler. Or Northstar the General Manager. You don't even see Northstar. You see Edward Madrid. You know the real me. The person who loves to draw, who's learning to play the harp and absolutley hates chocolate. You know that I'm afraid of heights and that I'm trying to write a book of poetry. Most people don't know that and don't care to know that. But you're different. You look past the fame and the glamour and you love me for who I really am. And I love you for the beautiful and stunning woman I've watched you become over these six months. And each and every day I've watched you become more amazing and more irresistible. Alix Maria Spezia, will you do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage? Alix (still looking away from Northstar): I don't...know. I guess yes. Yes. Yeah, I'll marry you. Why not? (Northstar gets to his feet and kisses an arctic Alix. He runs out the room in joyous celebration leaving Lil Alix and Alix behind.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 COLE It has been a madhouse here tonight. Coach, how are you feeling? COACH I've had an icepack on my nuts for forty five minutes now. I'm super. CABOOSE Is it causing shrinkage? COACH Even when I shrink, I'm large and in charge, baby. I'm talkin' twelve inches to a yard. COLE Well, my holiday is now complete. COACH I'm telling you, I could snake a toil... COLE SHUT UP, COACH. *We cut to the back as Crystal is sitting on a crate with Rodez and Lyne beside her. She is holding an ice pack to the back of her head. Northstar walks by.* Crystal: Northstar!? What was up with that!? Your boys just jumped me! If it wasn't for Rodez and Lyne her I might not be alive! Northstar: Oh...that....I must've missed it dear. Crystal: Don't give me that bullshit! And what about Damaramu attacking me!? You going to fine him! Northstar: Well the way I see it.......he was the legal man and going for a legitimate move....it's not his fault that you couldn't move in time! Crystal, Rodez, and Lyne: WHAT!?!?!? Northstar: You heard me! You'd better rest up! You have a Last Person Standing match coming up with Dama at Bloody Battered and Beaten! So get over it! *Northstar walks off as Crystal starts to go after him to be restrained by Rodez* Rodez: Let it go. Let it go. Lyne: It's obvious he and Dama are in this together. Crystal: Yeah....dammit....just what I need! Well thanks for your help guys. Lyne: No problem...it was good wrestling you Crystal. To bad Dama had to be there. Crystal: Don't worry guys......there won't be anything left of him after Sunday. Rodez: We're rooting for you. Crystal: Thanks guys. *Rodez and Lyne walk off as Crystal holds the ice pack to her head and expresses a look of pain.* Voice over: The following is very special holiday memory from Acolyte Of Northstar, Holly-wood. (Holly-wood is shown sitting down, there's a festive green and red back drop behind her and a menorah next to her) Holly-wood: When Northstar and I were kids we would always get strange gifts. Well, the gifts themselves were normal but who got them was strange. I remember Christmas of 91 when we rushed down stairs to open gifts and I saw this big beautiful dollhouse sitting next to the tree. I was so excited and rushed over and hugged my mom and thanked and then she droped the bombshell on me by saying that it was for Northstar. Every Christmas from that point was like that. Northstar got so many cool Barbie dolls and eazy bake ovens. Do you want to know what I got? I got GI Joes, Ninja Turtles, pocket knives and ant farms! Why I ask you? Why?Northstar always got the girlie gifts and I got the boy gifts. Even on our birthdays, Northstar would have a Cinderella or a beauty and the beast cake and I would have a Batman or a Captain America cake. I just wanted a Barbie doll who's hair I could comb or a stuffed animal I could have a tea party with but I always got stuck with skateboarding Raphel or GI Joe with rapid fire action. And on Halloween, do you know what they'd do to me? They'd make me go out dressed up like Peter Pan or Robin or Spider Man. Not Spider woman, Spider man. People would always say, "Oh what a cute little boy. That's a great costume young man" and I just wanted to punch them in the nose and say "I'M A GIRL! IM A GIRL!" Voice over: We here on HeldDOWN wish you and your loved ones a safe, happy and gender bending holiday. (Cut back to sofa central) Coach: Man! Cole: I know, I feel bad for Holly-wood. Coach: I ain't talkin about that. I'm talkin about yo stankin ass. You smell like shit! Put some D.O. on yo B.O. I feel like I'm sitting next to a gas station bathroom. There might be toxic fumes coming from your pits. You're a health hazard. And it isn't just your arm pits, you've got funky crotch stink to. Boys in the back, can I get some nose plugs out here. Cole: Get me some ear plugs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 -bzzzt, bzzzt- The smiling face of Northstar greets us as we return from break. NORTHSTAR Hello, loves! I hate to interrupt your commercial message, but it's time for a special announcement from your favorite general manager and mine, Northstar! Ladies, gentlemen, we all saw Ragdoll request a Hell in a Cell match with the champ. Well, Ragdoll, I like the way you think, but with some modifications. So, Ragdoll, you'll get, partially, your wish. At Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, it will be Calvin Szechstein versus Austin Baker, Ragdoll, in a cage match... The crowd pops! NORTHSTAR With NO ESCAPE rules... The crowd gets LOUDER! NORTHSTAR ...and SUBMISSIONS ONLY! The crowd SCREAMS! NORTHSTAR Here's to hoping you're clean, Ragdoll... you're going to need all the focus you can get to make our World champion tap out! Have a nice night, loves! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 Back with more Jeremy Red. Red is lying on the canvas, nursing his injured wrist. Cruel:Despite not figuring out a counter after 22 and a half hours in a wristlock, we are going to move onto the next lesson. If you mess up this one, it's the final lesson. You better do good boy or else. Cruel lifts up Red. Cruel:We didn't cry about petty injuries back in MY day. We had to have our legs ripped off and shoved down our throats before we missed any time. You will break my finishing move back in the day. Red:How far back in the day? Cruel:I had my last match in 1947. I would have made it farther but that young punk Lou Thesz stole my spotlight. You will be breaking the most deadly move ever. The Full Nelson. Red laughs at loud. Cruel:What's so funny, punk? Red:The full uh nelson. That's really funny. Even I can't screw this one up. Mad Matt told me that that move was outdated back in the 80s. The 1880s that uh is. Cruel:Mad Matt isn't here, is he. Without warning, Cruel hoists Red off the canvas and locks him in the Full Nelson. This isn't a weak resthold version either. This is an honest attempt to break some bones. Cruel:Outdated, eh. Sonny Jim, any move would be effective at any point in the history of wrestling. The only moronic moves is that flip flop crap you young hooligans do today. Red screams out in horror. Red attempts to throw his leg backwards but Cruel's legs are shut. Cruel:You do know that counter. Shame I know the counter to that counter. You will NEVER be a wrestler. You will be a joke. Cruel releases the Full Nelson and grabs Jeremy Red over his shoulder. Cruel throws Red out of the back of the gym. Cruel:Never darken my door again. You are the worst student I have ever taught. Red is sitting on the frozen ground, in tears. Cruel:Yeah, that's right. CRY like the baby you are. I hope someone breaks your neck for real if you ever decide to foolishly wrestle again. Knowing the punks these days, they would break their own necks going for one of those flippy floppy moves. Red:I think I like had a bag and stuff. Cruel throws the overnight bag out the door. It bops Red on the head and knocks him out cold. Red is lying on the frozen ground outside, knocked out cold. That's when the tape ends. COACH Heh, man, I don't know if I should feel bad for that kid or laugh at his misfortune. COLE He's persistent, give him that much. COACH Hey, where'd Caboose go? COLE Well, actually, Caboose was handing out OAOAST Action Figures to kids during intermission, and some guy was trying to steal the bag and sell them on Ebay. Needless to say, Caboose gave him a good thrashing, and is now in the back cleaning up. COACH Heh, too bad we didn't have THAT on tape. COLE I don't think "blood red" is that festive of a color, Coach. CUE: "TNT" by AC/DC -The fans rise to their feet, booing loudly as Tiffany and Becky - both dressed as schoolgirls - step out from behind the curtain. They smile seductively before the curtain flies open again, revealing the OAOAST Tag Team Champions! Tyler Bridges! TJ Burns! TNT!~!~ DING DING DING BUFFER The Next match…is scheduled for one fall…and is for the OAOAST WORLD…TAG…TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Introducing first…at a combined weight of three hundred and eighty eight pounds…hailing from the Liverpool, England and Dongegal, Ireland…the OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…T…N….TEEEEEEEE!!!! -The fans boo as TJ and Tyler pose at the top of the ramp with Tiffany and Becky, as the red, yellow, and green pyro shoot off. The fireworks end, leaving red, gold, and green smoke lingering, which the four proceed to walk through as they move towards the ring. COLE Last week, Coach, these two men had an INCREDIBLE match against the upstarts Rodez and Lyne. COACH That's right, but the experience of the champions prevailed, and they got the win after TJ hit the St. Patrick's Day Massacre on Leon Rodez. COLE That move is so incredibly devastating…Leon showed INCREDIBLE heart just by getting up after that move! COACH That's what makes Burns and Bridges so damn tough to wrestle against: they have the skills to end a match in a matter of seconds with the SPDM and the London Bridge Dragon Suplex. Once either one of those men hit those moves, the match is as good as over. CUE: "Kick Start my Heart" by Motley Crue COLE Speaking of ending matches, here comes a man that knows EXACTLY how to do that! -The fans erupt as Josie - who is now wearing a small white skirt, white shirt, and wedding veil!~ - steps out, and is followed shortly by her NEW husband (!~), The Showstopper, K-Money! BUFFER And Their Opponents! Entering first…from Hollywood, California…weighing in at one hundred and eighty seven pounds…accompanied to the ring by Josie Baker…THE SHOWSTOPPER…K…MOOOONEEEYYY!!! -The fans cheers grow louder and louder as Money struts cockily down to the ring, holding his wife's hand the entire time. The two stop at the bottom of the ramp. Money asks for a mic as TNT pace in the middle of the ring. MONEY "Ok…allow me to introduce to you…one half…of the FUTURE…Tag Team Champions…the man who taught me about respect… ZACK MALIBU!!" -The fans go berserk as Tyler slaps his head. TJ yells out an obscenity as Money tosses down the mic and smiles… CUE: "Bring me to Life" by Evanescence COLE YES!! YES!! WE COULD SEE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TONIGHT! -The cheers suddenly rise as the curtain flies open again, and out walks Zack Malibu!, accompanied by the lovely Candie. BUFFER And his partner…from Los Angeles, CA…weighing in at one hundred and ninety five pounds…the PISSED…OFF…PREP…ZAAAAAAAACK…MAL-I-BUUUUU!!! -Zack suddenly runs down towards the ring, slapping Money's back in the process. The two suddenly rush the ring and slide in, just as the bell gets rung. DING DING DING! -Zack and Money quickly stand and rush towards TNT, who quickly drop and roll out of the ring. The fans boo as Tyler and TJ regroup outside the ring, not noticing Zack drop to all fours near the ropes. Money runs towards the opposite ropes and rushes forward. He steps onto Zack, who rises just as Money begins to jump, giving him more height…CRASH!!! The fans rise to their feet as Money slowly gets off of TJ and Tyler, who are lying on the mats, thanks to an absolutely fantastic SHOOTING STAR PRESS PLANCHA!~ COLE OH MY GOD!! COACH Calm down, Joey Styles! -The fans erupt in a "HO-LY SHIT!" chant as Money grabs TJ by his hair. He slowly picks the Irishman up and slides him into the ring, where Zack proceeds to deliver the boots. Money slowly picks up Tyler and slams his head into the announce table. In the ring, Zack has TJ at a vertical base in the corner…Zack winds up…WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOO!! -…WHACK!! FANS WHOOOOOOOOO!! -Zack smiles as TJ clutches at his now-beet-red chest. Zack slowly pulls TJ out of the corner and grabs his wrist. Zack pushes TJ against the ropes, just before whipping him towards the opposite ones. TJ rebounds…and DUCKS a Zack back elbow attempt. TJ rebounds once again…and ducks a Zack clothesline! TJ suddenly stops running and turns, just as Zack does…WHAM!! Zack flops to the mat, clutching the back of his head as it bounces off the mat, courtesy of a TJ Burns Crossover Clothesline. TJ stumbles back slightly as Money hops up to his corner and starts pounding on the turnbuckle pad, trying to get Zack to his feet. COLE Zack needs to make the tag here…get the fresh man in… -TJ shakes the cobwebs loose just as he tags in Tyler, who rushes in and drives his size 12 foot into the face of Zack. Tyler, in one fluid motion, goes with the momentum of his kick and turns, dropping an elbow to the chest of Malibu. Tyler quickly covers.. 1… Kick out. Tyler softly shakes his head as he grabs Zack by his left arm, before driving his knee into the elbow and wrenching back. Zack screams in pain as Tyler grabs his other arm and wrenches back as well. COLE Zack is not in a good position here, Coach… COACH That's right, Tyler is trying to injure and break that left arm of Zack to setup for the Crippler Crossface, or as Tyler has affectionally called it, The Crown Jewel of her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. COLE …he doesn't call it that, does he? COACH Well, he calls it the Crown Jewel…just thought I'd edu-ma-cate the idiots at home. -Zack once again screams as Tyler wrenches back on the left arm. Josie and Candie start to pound the mat rhythmically, trying to get the fans behind Zack, who slowly starts to rise to his feet. Tyler, knowing how to counter this move, releases Zack's right arm and kicks out his left leg. Zack drops to the mat once again as Tyler continues his hold on Zack's left arm, delivering brutal kicks to the shoulder area. COLE Zack almost found his way out! Dammit! -Tyler suddenly stops kicking Zack's arm and drags the Prep towards the TNT corner, where Tyler proceeds to tag in TJ. TJ grabs Zack's left arm and drapes it over the middle rope. TJ grabs the top rope and stands over the arm before jumping high into the air…CRASH!! Zack screams in pain as TJ drives his knee into his shoulder. TJ jumps up again…CRASH!! Another vicious knee to the shoulder, and another scream of pain from Malibu. TJ slowly picks up Zack and pushes him into the corner, where TNT tag. Tyler hops inside the ring as TJ suddenly rushes towards Zack's corner! TJ leaps from near the middle of the ring towards K-Money…WHAM!! The two go tumbling to the outside from the HUGE Cross-Body! COLE The athleticism of TJ Burns is uncanny! He jumped from the middle of the ring to K-Money and went over the top rope!! -Meanwhile, Tyler has Zack against the ropes…Tyler suddenly whips Zack off towards the opposites, but holds onto his left arm, and in one fluid motion, drives his elbow into Zack's shoulder, causing the Prep to drop to his stomach…AND INTO THE CROWN JEWEL!! THE FANS RISE TO THEIR FEET AS TYLER WRENCHES BACK ON ZACK'S NECK!! ZACK STRUGGLES TOWARDS THE ROPES!!! COLE CROWN JEWEL!! CROWN JEWEL!! -Zack slowly drags himself towards the closest ropes…AND GRABS IT!! The fans breath a sigh of relief as the ref drops and attempts to get Tyler to break the hold, but the young lad from England refuses! The ref starts the rope count…1…2…3…4…Tyler suddenly lets go and rolls away and stands, arguing with the ref. Zack releases the rope and rests, draping his left arm over it…unaware that TJ Burns is perched on the top rope! Tyler slowly stands…BUT IS PUSHED OFF BY K-MONEY!! TJ flips forward and lands with a crash on his back and neck, causing the young'un to flop around. Money raises his left hand and slaps it hard with his right, telling the ref that he tagged! COLE K-Money using one of TNT's trick's against them!! COACH YES! THAT is Awesome! YES! -Money quickly climbs into the ring as Zack slowly slides out. Money starts driving his boots into the chest of TJ Burns, who tries to roll towards his corner. Tyler, seeing that his teammate is in trouble, pushes the ref away and lunges for Money, who quickly sidesteps, kicking the back of Tyler's left leg. Tyler drops to the mat as Money grabs TJ by the hair, picking him up. Money quickly positions TJ in a suplex position and lifts…CRASH!! The fans erupt as TJ and Tyler both clutch at their ribs! TJ rolls to the outside as Money covers Tyler! COLE Front Suplexing TJ Burns onto Tyler Bridges! Cover! 1!…2!…No! Tyler kicks out at 2! -Money quickly stands as Zack climbs onto the apron. Money delivers a kick to the gut of Tyler before positioning him in a suplex position…Money quickly lifts….AND DROPS TYLER OVER THE TOP ROPE!! The fans erupt as Money quickly hops outside onto the apron, grabbing the rope perpendicular with Tyler's body. Money smiles at the fans before leaping up onto the rope! Money leaps off…WHAM!! The fans cheer and groan…they CHOAN, if you will…as Tyler's body goes limp and drops to the mat! COLE FRONT DROPKICK TO THE HEAD OF TYLER BRIDGES FROM K-MONEY!! THIS KID IS UNBELIEVABLE! -Money quickly stands and takes in the outrageous applause of the crowd. He smiles wide as he extends his hand to Zack Malibu, who proceeds to slap it, making him the legal man. Zack swoops into the ring, amidst the roar of the crowd, and grabs Tyler by the head, lifting him onto his feet before whipping him towards the opposite ropes. Tyler reboundsslap…WHAM!!! Tyler crumbles to the mat!! COLE SCHOOL'S OUT!!! SCHOOL'S OUT!!! COVER HIM ZACK!!! -The crowd roars with applause as Zack covers Tyler, who lays lifeless in the middle of the ring. Zack hooks the leg… 1!!!!!! 2!!!!!! 3!!!! 4!!!! 5!!!! Zack lets go of the leg and sits up, staring at the ref, who is pointing to TJ Burns…THE LEGAL MAN!! The fans start to boo as TJ slowly slides into the ring... COLE TJ BARELY saved TNT's Tag Title's!! He must have tagged Tyler when he hit the ropes! COACH BRILLIANT!! -Zack stands slowly and glares at the ref, before grabbing TJ by the hair…WHAM!! LOW BLOW!! The Ref never saw it! Zack leans forward, holding his jewels…TJ stands quickly and hooks Zack's arms… COLE He's going for the St. Valentine's Day Massacre!! -TJ lifts…CRASH!! Zack's neck folds like an accordion, causing the capacity crowd to boo. TJ slowly covers… 1…. 2…. 3NO! K-Money makes the save! The ref pushes Money back towards his corner as Zack rolls out of the ring, where Tyler - who is still shaking off the cobwebs - is waiting. Tyler quickly picks Zack up...WHAM!! Zack's head bounces off of the steel ring-post like a rubber ball…WHAM!! Once again, Zack's head meets the steel…Tyler pulls Zack back again…WHAM!! Zack screams in pain as his left shoulder now meets the post. Tyler, having done his job, quickly slides back into the ring and hops onto the apron. TJ slowly stands and tags in Tyler, who rushes in like a pitbull. He quickly drops down…AND LOCKS ZACK BACK INTO THE CROWN JEWEL!!! COLE The Crown Jewel has been locked on again!! Zack is nowhere near the ropes!! -K-Money, seeing his partner in trouble, rushes back into the ring…WHAM!! The sole's of his boots meet the face of Tyler, forcing the British Pitbull to release the hold. Both men now lie in the middle of the ring…Zack slowly starts to crawl towards Money, who has his hand stretched out…Zack is inches away…centimeters…TAG!! Money rushes in like a HOUSE…EN…FUEGO!~ and drives his boot into the gut of Tyler Bridges, causing him to bend forward. Money gets into position and double-underhooks Tyler's arms…He lifts……CRASH!! The fans erupt as Money quickly rolls Tyler over!! COLE SHOWSTOPPER! SHOWSTOPPER!! HERE'S THE COVER!! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!!NO!~!! TJ barely made the save again!! The ref starts to push TJ back towards his corner as Money stands…WHAM!! Money drops like a sack of potatoes! The fans boo as Tiffany rolls out of the ring, throwing the Tag Title belt back towards the time-keeper. COLE That Jezebel! Damn her! COACH HERE COME'S JOSIE!! -Tiffany shrieks as Josie comes running towards her, chasing the Italian diva around the ring. Meanwhile, the ref's attention is back on the two men lying on the mat…he starts to administer the count… 1…. 2…. 3…. Tyler and Money start to stir. 4…. 5…. 6…. Both men are on their knees now… 7… 8… Tyler is the first to stand, and delivers a boot to face of Money, causing the Showstopper to fall back to the mat. Tyler looks out at the crowd, who's boos are deafening…and slowly makes a cutting motion across his throat! COLE He's signaling for the London Bridge! -Tyler slowly picks Money back up and turns him around, putting him into the Full Nelson. Tyler lifts…but Money wraps his leg around Tyler's! Tyler tries again, but again, Money blocks it! Seeing his opportunity, Money quickly lifts his right leg…WHAM!! Tyler groans as he holds his groin. Money stumbles forward and turns…before running full-bore towards Tyler…WHAM!! Tyler flops to the mat once again, holding the side of his face!! COLE ANOTHER hellacious front dropkick from K-Money! Can he capitalize?! -Money stands quickly as he regains his composure and runs towards his corner, where Zack is laying on the apron, holding his left arm. Money turns…and sees Tyler standing in the corner. The fans erupt as Money smiles wide…and lets out a loud scream! COLE Dr. Smooth's Secret Recipe, coming up!! -Money runs forward towards Tyler, just as TJ hops in. TJ pushes Tyler out of the way slightly, causing Money to leap forward onto the second turnbuckle. Using their incredible speed, TNT grab both of Money's arms and lift…CRASH!! Money lands right on the back of his neck!!!! Tyler Bridges covers as TJ rushes towards Zack, who is now standing and knocks him off the apron! COLE BIG BANG!! BIG BANG! BIG BANG!!! TNT HIT THE BIG BANG!! COVER!! 1!!! 2!!!! 3!!!!! DING DING DING!! CUE: "TNT" by AC/DC! -The fans erupt in a chorus of boos as TJ jumps around the ring, throwing his hands in the air! TNT just defeated K-Money and Zack Malibu!! COLE I don't believe it… COACH WHAT?! H…HOW!~? BUFFER YOUR WINNERS!…at 20:37…AND STILL!!…OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!…T…N….TEEEEEE!!! -The champs quickly slide out of the ring and grab their belts from the time-keeper. Tiffany and Becky join them as Zack slides slowly into the ring, along with Josie and Candie. Zack and Josie check on Money as TNT walk quickly up the ramp, holding their titles high in the air as they watch the ring. COLE TNT…TNT just defeated K-Money and Zack Malibu… COACH …That was absolutely fantastic… Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 Flameout: Damn man. You look shameful.... Holly-wood: You've sunken to new lows, Silver Star. I didn't think that was possible, but way to surprise me. (The Camera pans out to show Silver Star in an Easter Bunny outfit) Silver Star: I don't see....I mean... Holly-wood: You mean what? I told you to come to work dressed as Santa Claus. You said 'no problemo.' I excused your outdated slang and figured you could handle the job. But here you are dressed as the Easter Bunny and not Santa Claus. Silver Star: I just don't see why I have to dress up as Santa instead of as a bunny. I hear you blah blah blahing about how Santa is the symbol for Christmas, but I don't see how you could know that. Holly-wood: How could YOU not know that? Have you been to a mall lately? The kids aren't lining up to see a rabbit. They're lined up to sit on an overweight pedophile's lap and tell him what they want, when all he wants is a quickie in the bathroom. That's Christmas. That's tradition. Silver Star: Right. And I think we should try and change that tradition, dudes. Am I right? Holly-wood: No. No, you are not. Change it on your own time. Right now, I've got thirty six kids, that's twelve times three, from the Make a wish foundation, waiting to meet Santa Claus. And all I've got to show them is a twenty year old dope fiend in an Easter bunny costume. Silver Star: All right. All right already. I'm sorry. I forgot. But Jeez, how am I supposed to remember that Santa Claus is the Christmas dude. I'm not even Christian. Flameout: Mmm hmmm. You an ignant mothafucka. Ignant! Just plain ignant. Holly-wood: I agree. I don't care if your Jewish, Hindu, Muslim or a Satanist. You have to know that Santa Claus equals Christmas. Silver Star: Why do I have to know, huh? Why? I ain't Christian! I'm not. It's not my business to know. Holly-wood: Ooh!!!! I'm so not listening to you anymore. Silver Star: You better open up those ears, hood rat. Cuz I'm not done talking. Why should I keep up with a holiday that isn't even part of my religion? I doubt you know when the Fast of the Esther is. Flameout: March forth, muthafucka. March forth. Silver Star: Yeah, okay. But what about Passover? Holly-wood: April sixth through the twelfth. Silver Star: Fine, but.... Holly-wood: Ooh! Ooh! Just shut up already. You can't even get the easiest tasks right. The only reason Northstar even hired you, was out of childhood loyalty. I would think that you would at least repay him with a respectable job performance. But oh no! You're just perfectly content to sit back collect your six figure salary and let the rest of us do the hard work. Silver Star: I think I do an okay job. Holly-wood: Do you? Name me one thing that you've done that's helped the show? Just one?....You're out of time. You can't think of anything, because you haven't done anything. Face it, your useless. Silver Star: I am not. No way am I useles. In fact, dudette I'll prove it. Holly-wood: How? Silver Star: I'm going to help you and Alix beat Candie this Sunday. I'll show you who's useless and who's the bomb up in this mug! Holly-wood: Up in this mug? Whatever. Just stay away from my match. Come on Flameout, lets go see if we can find a Santa suit for you. (Back to Sofa Central) COLE I swear, Northstar has employed the oddest bunch of people since gaining power. COACH Hey man, I'm not about to say ANYTHING about any of them anymore. COLE Well, if you did, you'd be NUTS. HA! *Coach stares blankly at Cole.* COACH That was weak, Michael. *Caboose comes back, dressed in new attire, but some of his facepaint is faded.* COLE Well, I hear you had quite the incident, and it caused you to miss one hell of a tag team matchup. CABOOSE Well Michael, needless to say I'm feeling pretty low right now. COACH You stopped a theif. You're a hero, man! CABOOSE No, Jon, I pummelled a Salvation Army worker who was picking up the leftover stock for underpriveleged kids. COLE Ah...ha. Well then... COACH Oh boy. COLE Uh...OK...OK, let's take you now to another holiday moment, this time from Zack Malibu! The screen closes in on Zack Malibu, laying back on a leather couch inside the famous Malibu Mansion. ZACK Merry Christmas, everyone. You know, a few weeks ago, the production staff of HeldDOWN~! asked me to think of my favorite holiday memory, and share it with you all tonight. Now, honestly, I've had many great memories through the years, but only one stands out. It was Christmas time, 1996, and it was the first Christmas without a beloved family member. You see, I had a cousin who passed on just a month before the holiday, and, well, he was the inspiration for the man you see before you today. Now, I know that's pretty grim, and you must be wondering "Zack, how is that your FAVORITE holiday memory?", but this is why. You see, on that holiday, I remember eating with my family, and they were discussing the trials and tribulations of a teenage Zackster, when Grandma Malibu uttered that I was turning out to be "just like his cousin". That one statement right there meant more to me than anything, because if there is anyone I've hoped to be like, it was my cousin. So, here on Christmas night, take the time to remember your family and your loved ones. Take a moment to bask in what you have, and what they really mean to you. That is a gift that is greater than anything you'll find under your trees. Merry Christmas everyone, and God Bless. (Commercial Break) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 ::Cut back to the announcer’s table with Michael Cole, Caboose and Jonathon “The Coach” Coachman.:: Michael Cole: Anyway, fans, this Sunday, December 28th, you will see the best of the OaOasT collide at Bloody, Battered, And Beaten. Caboose: It's an event that has produced many a great match in the past. Jonathon Coachman: I, for one, am excited about this Sunday. This pay-per-view will definitely live up to its name as there will be bloodshed, there will be pain, and there will be losers. Michael Cole: Bloody, Battered, and Beaten is brought to you by both the IntenseZone AND HeldDown brands. For a look at the matches scheldued, let’s head to the Bloody, Battered, and Beaten Control Center with HeldDown’s very own, Josh Matthews. Josh, take it away! ::The camera cuts to the OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten Control Center. Josh Matthews is standing in front of a blue screen that has a window showing a city skyline on it covered with snow. The room he is in has a black, smooth floor with a skinny gray table that holds a flatscreen TV with the OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten logo on it. The room is decorated with Christmas decorations. A Christmas tree, presents next to the Christmas Tree. The TV has a giant red bow on it and some other decorations on it as well. There are some presents on the table as well. Josh Matthews comes on the screen standing next to the table wearing a Santa Claus hat. “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson plays in the background.:: Josh Matthews: Thanks, Coach, Cole. Merry Christmas everyone! This is Josh Matthews here giving you the 411 on what is coming up this Sunday, December 28th at OaOasT Bloody, Battered, And Beaten; a presentation brought to you by IntenseZone and HeldDown. And this pay-per-view will indeed live up to its name. 12 matches are scheldued for the show with the best from IZ and HD entertaining the millions watching at home and in the arena. ::The OaOasT Bloody, Battered, And Beaten logo appears on screen. It is follow by the IntenseZone logo. Match-Up graphics appear onscreen while Josh continues to talk. “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson continues to play.:: Josh Matthews (Voice Over): From IntenseZone, you will see the brand new Adrenalin Championship be defended. The Champion, the returning Spider-Poet takes on IntenseZone General Manager, “Heartless” Dan Black in a steel cage match. Spider-Poet made his shocking return to the OaOasT to join IntenseZone back a few weeks back. And to say Black was unhappy about it, would be an understatement. Add to it that Tha Poet is friends with Stephen Joseph, who Black also hates, and you got a GM ready to explode heading into Bloody, Battered, And Beaten. Poet survived and won the Adrenalin Title Tournament on the December 9th episode of IntenseZone, but can he survived the onslaught of the ruthless, heartless, and evil Dan Black who no doubt plans to send a message to Joseph by crippling his friend and become Adrenalin Champion in the process. Inside a steel cage anything can, and does happen, so how low will Black go, and how much will tha Poet have to go through in this match up? Black has been a menace on IntenseZone ever since he became GM. Can Spider-Poet survive the Blackheart? Tune into BBB to find out! IntenseZone will also bring to you a contest made by Father that pits The Blurricane against Judas. Blurricane has been trying his best to get Judas to become fully 100% good ever since the night after Dirty Deeds back in September. But Father has returned and is hell bent on making Blurricane pay for sending him to jail and to make Judas pay for turning his back on him. Father has shown in the past few weeks that, even at his old age, he can still go, and you better believe that Father will physically inject himself into the matchup. How will this match affect Judas and Blurricane? Can Blurricane make Judas good? Or will Judas succumb to the dark side and side with Father once and for all? OR will Father disappear once and for all? There are so many possible endings to this matchup. The only way of knowing what will happen is by actually buying Bloody, Battered, and Beaten to find out what will happen in the next chapter of the Blurricane/Judas/Father saga. ::The Puerto Rican Lightning/Mad Cappa NA Title Match match-up graphic appears onscreen. Some of the crowd pops for Cappa and boos PRL. Josh Matthews continues to speak while “Fight Song” continues to play.:: Josh Matthews (Voice Over Continuing): And the IntenseZone main event. The biggest and most anticipated match from IZ. For the OaOasT North American Championship. The OaOasT North American Champion Puerto Rican Lightning takes on the challenger, his archrival, The Mad Cappa. These two men have been feuding with each other for most of 2003 and it could all end this Sunday, December 28th, in this one matchup. PRL has avoided meeting Cappa several times, and has had the Lightning Crew do all his dirty work. But he will have no choice but to fight this Sunday, because if PRL does NOT compete for any reason other than a serious, legitimate injury, then PRL is barred from the OaOasT for life. PRL has a big decision to make. Does he compete and risk the wrath of the very man he injured and nearly crippled back in May? Or does he back out, and lose the NA Title he cherishes so much. Plus be barred forever from the OaOasT. Cappa returned in August, but has yet to get his hands around PRL’s neck for a good amount of time. With the hatred share between these two, this match will end up being a brawl. One of the most anticipated matches at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, two of IntenseZone’s biggest and most brightest stars go at it for the NA Title, but there is more to it than that. This feud is base on pure, unadulterated hate. And it could all end this Sunday at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. ::The Bloody, Battered, And Beaten logo once again appears on screen. It is followed by the HeldDown logo, which causes the crowd to pop for their favorite brand of the OaOasT! Now, HD matchup graphics are shown while Josh Matthews continues his narration and “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson continues to play.:: Josh Matthews (V.O.): On the HeldDown side, you will see the Dark One Axel; take on Dream Machine member Peter Knight. Axel made his return to HeldDown after a one-month suspension and has picked up where he left off. Kicking ass and taking names. With La Parka down with an injury, Knight has decided to go solo for the time being and make a name for himself in the OaOasT as a singles competitor. This match will be a test for both men this Sunday as both have the power to tear each other apart. Knight has the height advantage, but Axel has the psychological advantage going into this Sunday. Who will come out on top? It’s anybody’s guess. This match should be a hell of a fight and I guarantee you won’t want to miss it. HeldDown will also be offering you a 24/7 Title Match as The Champion, The Superstar, representing the Underground, takes on the unstable and weird Mr. Warrior in a Coal Miner’s Glove Match. The rules of this match are simple. A pole will be attached to a turnbuckle with a coal miner’s glove attached to it. The first wrestler to grab the glove and use it will be the winner. Superstar has caused some minor dissension in the Underground, getting into several disagreements with the leader of the Underground, CWM. Mr. Warrior has sided with The Superstar in the past, and that might help him come this Sunday as he could use what he knows Superstar well. Will Mr. Warrior capture his first OaOasT title? Or will the arrogant and cocky Superstar walk out of Bloody, Battered, and Beaten still the 24/7 Champion? We will also be seeing some girl-on-girl action as Alix and Holly-Wood of Northstar’s Acolytes take on Zack Malibu’s manager and main squeeze Candie in a handicap match. Northstar, the General Manager of HeldDown obviously has stacked the match in his sister and his girlfriend’s favor, but can Candie overcome the 2-on-1 odds and win? Alix and Holly-Wood might be a little jealous of Candie, who is one of the OaOasT’s most popular and most beautiful females. That might cause Holly and Alix some anger and as they say “Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.” This match will be very interesting for the males in the audience and I think I speak for all the males when I say that I hope this match is nothing more but a big old catfight. No drop toeholds. No snapmares. No suplexes. Just plain good old-fashioned catfightning, with, hopefully, some clothes being tear off in the process! ::More match up graphics. More voiceover. More “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson.: Josh Matthews (V.O. Continuing): Added to the card earlier tonight, Underground chief of security Hoff will take on HeldDown Co-Chief of security Charlie Hoss. These two haven’t seen eye-to-eye for quite some time and it will all come ahead at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. These two men are big, strong, and have a short temper, and it will be a flat-out brawl this Sunday, when these two men are in the same ring. I, for one, cannot wait for the result. HeldDown will also present to you a “Loser Leaves Their Paycheck For The Night Match”, which will pit The Minions, newcomers Nathaniel and Michael against The Global Party Exchange, newcomers Johnny “Jam” Jackson and Scotty Static. Both teams are new to OaOasT and to HeldDown and are looking to make their mark. Both teams are from completely different worlds. The Global Party Exchange, two fun-loving guys who want to party, win matches, and get all the hot women. The Minions, followers of St. Andrew. Apart of the Unholy Communion. Two mysterious, dark, and deadly young men who are intent on preaching their warped version of The Christian Bible to the HD audience and wrestlers, and will do so by any means necessary. The OaOasT has had its share of religious wackos, like Stephen Joseph, Spider Poet, Jacob X, and Edward Robins of the Trinity, but these guys might be the sickest yet. These two teams will be making their OaOasT Pay-Per-View debuts this Sunday at BBB, and look to make an impact. Who will come out on top is anyone’s guess. Be it the fun loving Global Party Exchange, or the sick, dark Minions. The rules of the match are simple. The losing team will not get paid for the night. It doesn’t get any simpler than that folks. HeldDown is home to the OaOasT X Division Championship, and at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, you will see that title get defended in a Double Elimination Hot-Seat Four Corners Match. The OaOasT X Division Champ, Sly “The Sly” Sommers defends his title against former champion Mad Matt, AJ Flaire, and St. Andrew of the Unholy Communion. These four men are all worthy to be the X Division Champ, but only one man will survive this match. Bloody, Battered, And Beaten seems to describe the result of this match as by the end of this Four Corners Double Elimination Hot-Seat Match, all four competitors will most likely be Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. At Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, two other people with intense hatred for each other will meet in the ring. One of BBB’s most anticipated matches, the evil, unstable, and insane Damaramu takes on the lovely and talented Crystal in a Last Person Standing Match. These two have been on the warpath for two months now, all triggered by Damaramu, who wants to add Crystal to his list of victims but has failed in doing so for some time. Crystal and Damaramu went to a 10-minute time limit on an episode of HeldDown a few weeks ago, and have spent the rest of the time engaged in backstage brawls pulled apart by security. These two want to tear each other apart and will finally get the opportunity to do so at BBB in a Last Person Standing Match which seems to be the perfect match for these two. The rules of the match are simple. There is no disqualification. No holds barred. Anything goes. The winner of the match is the one wrestler who gets up before the count of 10. The loser, well, he obviously is the one who doesn’t get up at the count of 10. The winner will literally be the Last Person Standing. This match is not about any titles. It’s about pride. Will the Female Phenom of the OaOasT finally snapped Damaramu’s winning streak and give him his first lost in the OaOasT? Or will Damaramu have his way, and Crystal will just be another victim? Tune into BBB to find out! You won’t wanna miss this matchup! ::The matchup graphic for Zack Malibu vs. CWM is shown. The crowd pops quite loud for the Pissed Off Prep. “Fight Song” continues to play. Matthews continues talking.:: Matthews (V.O.): When you’re talking about pure hatred. A bitter rivalry. Two men who absolutely positively hate each other. You cannot forget about Zack Malibu and CWM. These two men were once the best of buds, but CWM turned his back on his best friend, and now they are enemies. These men have had several encounters with each other on pay-per-view, but it MUST end this Sunday, December 28th, at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. HD General Manager Northstar has made this their last match ever! The Pissed Off Prep Zack Malibu takes on the leader of the Underground, CWM in an Ambulance Match. The rules of the match are simple. No disqualification. No countouts. The first wrestler to put the other in an ambulance will be the winner. Remember, this will be the FINAL TIME that Zack and CWM fight each other as Northstar wants these two men to still wrestle for HeldDown. He believes, like many, that these two will be fightning each other till the day they die, and he does not want that. So, witness the final battle. The final chapter. The last match ever between Zack Malibu and CWM. And it’s going to happen at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten this Sunday live on pay-per-view. Trust me, this will be an Ambulance Match that will actually be GOOD and memorable. I guarantee it. And finally, the main event. The big one. For the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship. Hell In A Cell. The Champion. “New Era” Calvin Szechstein takes on the deranged Ragdoll. This whole match stems from Deadly Game last month, when Calvin did not look out for Ragdoll in the Elimination Chamber Match, and ended up getting eliminated by Puerto Rican Lightning. Ragdoll feels his chance at becoming World Champion was stolen and wants another shot in a match, which maybe in HIS environment. The 16 foot high, 20 foot wide Hell In The Cell will cover the entire ringside area, and will be home to the main event of Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. No other match defines BBB other than this one. Ragdoll has become even darker since Deadly Game. Becoming a junkie. Attacking his role model, Spanky. Attacking his girlfriend, Josie and getting a new one. Calvin has been on a roll since the Elimination Chamber, and will be looking to stretch his title reign into 2004. Ragdoll and Szechstein are not exactly fan favorites, so it will be interesting exactly who the crowd sides with this Sunday. This match will not for the weak of heart. This match is the definition of Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. Will Calvin be having a Happy New Year? Or will Ragdoll cement his place in OaOasT history by dethroning and becoming OaOasT World Champion for the very first time? This match will change the lives of both men and I urge you to witness this live on pay-per-view! ::The OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten logo appears onscreen again. “Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson continues to play as the information regarding the pay-per-view is shown on screen. Josh Matthews continues his narration.:: Josh Matthews (Voiceover): Fans, don’t miss the final pay-per-view of 2003. It has been an incredible year for the OaOasT and the wrestlers involve, and this pay-per-view will be a great way to cap off 2003 and ring in 2004! This pay-per-view will see a lot of changes. Grudges will end. New ones will begin. Will new champions be crown? Will the so-called “New Era” end? Or will the reign of Szechstein continue? All these answers, and more will be answered at OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. Sunday, December 28th at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time only on Pay-Per-View. Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now! Or visit OaOasT.Com for details on how to get the webcast! Don’t delay. Witness the pay-per-view that will be better than anything the WWE put on TV this year. OaOasT Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. Don’t delay. Order now! ::”Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson comes to an end, and so does this segment.:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 MC: Now’s time for our huge X-Division Title match of the evening. This all started at Deadly Game, when St. Andrew and his Minions interfered to cost Mad Matt the X-Title, and basically hand it to Sly Sommers. Then, the week after, Andrew revealed his plan, to get the belt on who he felt was the weak link of the X-Three, that being Sly Sommers. The week after, Andrew and his Minions first took out Jeremy Red in a ruthless backstage attack, then battled AJ Flaire and Mad Matt in a two-on-three handicap match, which call them send AJ back to the hospital with a severe back injury. COACH: But the finish was undecisive, and clustered. So, last week, per GM Northstar’s orders, we began the X-Division X-Mas Twice as Nice Invitational, where the winner of a Triathelon-style six-man tag would get a shot at Sly Sommers this week. Mad Matt scored the first pinfall, but got eliminated by his teammates since they thought he was the weak link due to his injured leg. After he snapped, the match went on, and St. Andrew defeated Scotty Static after intereference from a possibly jealous Sly Sommers. Then, in the final stage, St. Andrew defeated Johnny Jackson after two Ends, dropping Jackson directly on his skull! MC: That leads to tonight, as Sly Sommers makes his second defense, as we’re apparantly supposed to count his seconds-long match last week against Samurai Akiro as a defense, in a first-ever Parental Indiscresion contest. The rules go as follows: both men are allowed to use the various weapons that surround the ring. Tables, ladders, chairs, and the such. The weapons are even seperated by ring side. The side closest to the entrance is scattered with tables. The side to our left has six ladders set up. The side closest to us contains a giant stack of chairs, and the side to our right has a giant hamper of something that we don’t even know of. Moving on, no pinfall or submission can take place during the first ten minutes, since the referee won’t even be out here! After the first ten minutes go by, the referee comes out, and the match “officially” begins. COACH: Let’s take it to the Fink for the formal ring introductions! CABOOSE: Without me getting a word in edge-wise? Bastards. FINKEL: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is the first-ever Parental Indiscresion match, for the X-Division Championship. Introducing the challenger..... (“Pompeii” starts up, and St. Andrew does his usual entrance, though he stops to observe the various implements of destruction surrounding the ring.) FINKEL:...from St. Andrew’s Cathedral, weighing 210 pounds, St. Andrew! MC: In less than one month, Andrew’s made a gigantic splash here in the X-Division! CABOOSE: He's heartless but talented. He has no loyalties to anyone excpet those who follow his word. This is a man who wants nothing less than dominance! (Sly’s music starts up, and he uncharacteristically runs to the ring, throwing his belt down in the aisle, sliding into the ring, and tackling Andrew out of the ring!) MC: This has started with a bang! Sly whips Andrew into the guardrail hard. Sly then runs at Andrew, and clotheslines him over the guardrail. Sly stomps a mudhole in Andrew, and then throws him back to ringside. Sly jumps over the guardrail, and waits for Andrew to get up. When he does, Sly goes for a spear. But, Andrew moves out of the way, and Sly goes head-first, into the guardrail. Andrew catches him as he stumbles backwards, and nails a German suplex. Andrew then tosses Sly into the ring, and slides into the ring himself. Sly’s on his hands and knees, and Andrew kicks him hard in the ribs. Sly goes down, clutching his ribs. Andrew crosses himself, and then runs to the ropes opposite Sly’s direction. He then bounces off and runs at Sly, but Sly manuevers himself so that he is able to pull Andrew out of the ring, using Andrew’s own momentum. Sly gets up, and waits for Andrew to get up. When Andrew gets to his feet, Sly springboards to the top rope, and nails a stiff lariat! MC: Did you see that? COACH: Early on, Sly almost knocks Andrew’s head off with a lariat from the top! Sly then pulls Andrew up, and whips him into the side of the ring. Sly then picks up a chair, and throws it hard at Andrew’s face. Andrew then stumbles forward, and falls on his face, right on the chair, which Sly had dropped. Sly goes to the apron, jumps off, and connects with a flying legdrop to the back of Andrew’s head. Sly then throws Andrew into the ring, and grabs a couple of chairs. Sly enters the ring, and sticks the chairs in a corner, one in between the top and middle turnbuckle, and the other in between the middle and bottom turnbuckle. He picks up Andrew, and goes to throw him face-first into the top chair. But, Andrew reverses the momentum, and Sly gets catapulted face-first into the chair. Andrew struggles up, and then kicks Sly in the ribs. Andrew pulls Sly up, and stands him up in the corner. Andrew grabs one of the chairs, and nails Sly’s gut with the edge of it. Andrew then sets the chair up in the middle of the ring. He whips Sly from the corner off to the ropes, and attempts to catch him in a tilt-a-whirl to slam him onto the chair. However, Sly reverses in mid-air, and nails a flying headscissors that sends Andrew face-first into the chair! MC: Sly Sommers, using his quick thinking, is able to stop what would have been inevitable doom! CABOOSE: Sly has brought his A game here tonight! Sly gets up, picks up the other chair, and hurls it at Andrew’s back, who’s crawling around holding his face. Sly then pulls Andrew up, stands him in the corner, and starts rapidly chopping Andrew’s chest. After the eighth chop, Sly whips Andrew to the other corner, and Andrew tumbles over the turnbuckle, landing on his face on the apron. Sly gives Andrew time to get up. When Andrew’s on his feet, Sly runs over and dropkicks Andrew, sending him flying off the apron. But, Andrew is able to catch himself on one of the ladders that’s set up. Andrew takes too much time recooperating while on the ladder, as Sly then baseball slides the ladder from the ring, tipping the ladder over, and sending Andrew gut-first onto the guard rail! COACH: Not a second of action missed thus far in this exciting contest! Sly then sets that ladder back up, and goes up four rungs. He then connects with a guillotine legdrop across Andrew’s back, sending both men into the front row. Sly gets up, grabs Andrew by the head, and throws him back to ringside. Sly then slingshots over the guardrail, and nails a big legdrop. Sly then grabs one of the ladders, and slides it into the ring. Sly grabs Andrew, but Andrew connects with a low blow. Both men go down. After about ten seconds, they both slowly get up. Sly goes after Andrew, but Andrew throws a weird white powder in Sly’s eyes. Sly can’t see anything, and is swinging wildly at nothing. Andrew gives himself a few more seconds to get himself together, then gets to his feet, and superkicks Sly in the back of the head, sending Sly flying into the remaining four ladders that are standing. Andrew reaches into the ring, and grabs one of the chairs. Andrew climbs to the apron, and connects with a brutal chair-assisted legdrop, onto Sly’s face! COACH: That’s a plastic surgeon bill in the making! Andrew and Sly both lay there for seconds, with Sly’s face suddenly covered in blood, from an apparant nose break. Andrew gets up, and throws Sly into the ring. Andrew then climbs from the floor to the apron, and then to the top rope. He jumps off and nails a somersault senton. Andrew then grabs the other chair that was brought into the ring, climbs a couple of rungs on the ladder, and places the chair flat on the top of the ladder. He pulls Sly up, and stands him up in a corner. Andrew slides quickly outside of the ring, and grabs another chair. He slides back into the ring, and simply clobbers Sly in the head with the chair. Sly goes down in a sitting position, bloodied. Andrew puts the chair in front of Sly’s face, and goes to the apron behind Sly. Andrew then slingshots himself into the ring, changes directions, and brutally kicks the chair into Sly’s already-fractured face! MC: Andrew’s showing signs of a rather bizarre gameplan, going after the face of Sly Sommers. COACH: Whatever gameplan he’s using, it’s been effective thus far. Andrew then pulls Sly up, hooks his head, and DDT’s him onto the chair that was just used. Andrew then rests for a second. He pulls Sly up, and drags him by the hair over to the ladder. Andrew walks up the ropes, successfully dragging Sly to climb up the rungs on the other side of the ladder. Andrew grabs the chair that he placed on top of the ladder, and then flips over Sly, trying for some sort of inverted chair-assisted sunset bomb. However, when Andrew gets all the way over Sly, Sly grabs the chair from Andrew and whacks him in the head with it, knocking Andrew off of the ladder and him. Andrew goes down flat on his back. Sly climbs to where he’s seated on top of the ladder, with chair in hand. He looks at the chair for a second, then decides to just drop it on Andrew’s face. Sly then pushes off of the ladder with his right foot, almost tipping it over in the process, and nails a devastating big headbutt! MC: Right after getting the advantage back, Sly Sommers risks life-and-limb, and if he would have missed that, he definately would have lost the advantage! COACH: The advantage? He would have lost his life! Both men stay down as the crowd rises and cheers for the risky dive. More than ten seconds later, Sly struggles, but makes it to his feet. Just then, from the crowd, the Minions come out, and slide into the ring. Sly tries to fight them off, but the numbers game is just too much, and they end up whipping him off to the ropes. They then nail a brutal double STO takedown. Nathaniel then goes outside the ring, and slides both a table and an extra ladder into the ring. Michael sets up the table as Nathaniel sets up the extra ladder on the opposite side as the original ladder. The Minions lay Sly down on the table, and they each perch an individual ladder. Three seconds later, they launch off, Michael with a legdrop, and Nathaniel with a high moonsault, from the top of ladders, through a table! MC: My lord! COACH: That was amazing! CABOOSE: That was incredible! MC: That’s an understatement! Michael shakes his leg off, and then drags his leader Andrew onto Sly. However, he looks up at the clock, and discovers that there’s still a couple more minutes until a referee will even come out to count the fall. So, the Minions clear the ring of the table remains, and go to ringside. Andrew shakes himself off, and gets up. He then picks up one of the ladders, makes it completely horizontal, and bridges it across the top of one of the corners. He pulls Sly up, and stands him up in the opposite corner. Andrew then slaps Sly in the face. Andrew takes his time, and then whips Sly to the corner. However, Sly pulls it out of himself to reverse the whip, and sends Andrew tumbling over the corner, and laying on top of the ladder. Sly then climbs up to the middle rope, and starts forearming Andrew in the chest. Sly jumps down from the middle rope, and then dropkicks the ladder upward, sending both the ladder and Andrew flipping from the top rope to the floor, crushing Andrew’s head between the concrete and the steel of the ladder! MC: I think he just killed a saint. COACH: That ain’t no saint! Sly then slingshots himself over the top rope, landing in a Togo senton on Andrew’s back. Sly stays down for a few seconds to let the pain from that risky move set in, and then pulls himself up with the guardrail. The Minions then pick up a ladder, each Minion holding an end. They run at Sly, trying to take his head off with the ladder. But, Sly ducks under the ladder. He springboards to the guardrail, the Minions turn around, and Sly basically double-stomps the ladder, sending it and himself to the ground, and running Matthew and Nathaniel into each other. Sly then walks over to the other side and grabs a table. He then sets it up with one end on the ring apron, and the other on the guardrail. Sly then picks up Andrew, and throws him back into the ring. Sly grabs the ladder remaining in the ring, and sets it up near the table. Sly then starts climbing the ladder, and somehow, Andrew gets the strength to trail after him on the same side. Sly sits on top of the ladder, and then transitions to the other side as he trades punches with Andrew. He gets the better of the punches with Andrew, and Andrew nearly falls backwards off of the ladder. However, Andrew maintains his balance to come back with one huge punch to Sly’s face, that both sends himself flying sideways off of the ladder, and sends Sly flying off the top of the ladder, and through the table outside the ring, to the floor! CABOOSE: HOLY... MC: I’ll be damned! COACH: That’s inhuman! My god! As both men rue in the pain of their huge falls, the ten minutes runs out, and the referee runs to ringside to take his place. But, right before he hits the ring, Minion Michael pops up and spears the referee out of his boots. Both Minions then drag Sly’s lifeless carcass into the ring. Nathaniel lays the ladder down and bridges it across the ring apron, to the guardrail. Both Minions tease Beale tossing (double hiptoss) Sly over the top rope and onto the ladder. But, all of a sudden, the Global Party Exchange, Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson pop up from under the ring with chairs. They climb onto the apron and distract the Minions. They toss the chairs at the Minions’ heads, but the Minions catch them to block. But as soon as they hurl the chairs, Johnny and Scotty springboard to the top rope, and dropkick the chairs into Michael and Nathaniel’s faces! Johnny then lays Nathaniel across the ladder, and goes up top. Scotty picks Michael up in a side-suplex position, and hands him to Johnny, who holds him in powerbomb position....Johnny superbombs Michael off the top rope, through both Nathaniel and the ladder!! MC: HOLY CRAP! CABOOSE: The GPX take out the Minions! COACH: They...just went through a metal ladder....they just went through a METAL LADDER! Scotty then looks around, and eyes Sly’s lifeless body. Scotty grabs one of the chairs, and goes up top. He then nails a huge splash off the top rope, with the ladder on his own chest, onto Sly! Scotty leaves the ring, dragging his partner with him. Both the referee and Andrew take about thirty more seconds to get up, and Andrew puts his left hand over Sly for a really lazy first pin of the match....1.........2.......kickout! MC: Sly Sommers has somehow kicked out of that! COACH: You have to be near super-human to hold a belt here at HeldDOWN~! Andrew then barely holds himself up, and starts throwing punches at Sly’s extremely bloody face. Andrew then disgustingly fingerpaints a blood outline of Sly’s body, poking into the wound and rubbing his finger around Sly’s face in order to get the blood needed. Andrew then grabs two of the ladders, and sets them up, about six feet away from each other, in the middle of the mat nearest to the rampway. Andrew then grabs a table, and sets it up on top of the two ladders, making a bridge. Then, he gets two more tables, and sets them up, one vertically-facing underneath the table/ladder bridge, and the other horizontally at the foot of the aisleway, beside the ladders. Andrew slides into the ring, but when he goes to pick up Sly, Sly hits him in the gonads. Sly then grabs a chair, and wallops Andrew in the skull with the chair. Andrew goes down to one knee, so Sly nails another chairshot. All of a sudden, AJ Flaire and Mad Matt jump the rail, albeit from opposite sides, with chairs, slide into the ring. Flaire hits Sly in the skull with his chair, and Matt hits Andrew with his! MC: Not even severe injuries could keep AJ Flaire or Mad Matt away from their enemies! Matt then looks across the ring and sees AJ Flaire. Matt goes into one of his psycho tantrums, and charges at AJ with the chair...BAM! Matt cracks AJ in the skull with his chair! Matt straddles on top of AJ, and starts throwing wild punches at AJ’s face. The referee attempts to get Matt off of AJ, but Matt shoves him down for his troubles. Matt gets up, and starts stomping AJ. Sly crawls up, and grabs one of the chairs. He then taps Matt on the shoulder. Matt turns around, and Sly clobbers him one good with a sick chairshot! Sly then swings back, and nails another one to the skull, as Matt is falling to the mat. Sly then drags Matt’s body to the floor, and lays him down on the table that stands horizontally-facing underneath the ladder. Sly then comes back into the ring, and pulls AJ up. However, AJ starts to fight Sly off. However, Andrew clips AJ from behind, sending him down. Sly then pulls Flaire to the outside, and lays him on the table beside the ladders. Sly slides back into the ring, and him and Andrew start trading punches mid-ring. MC: Back to square one! COACH: But what could possibly be happening to Flaire & Matt?!?! Both men simultaniously leave the ring and go on the apron, while still exchanging punches. Sly then throws up a “Time Out” hand signal. So, both men separate, go to a separate ladder in the ladder/table bridge, and climb. They meet on the table bridging the two ladders together. They exchange punches until Andrew kicks Sly down low. Andrew then turns Sly around, hooks his head, picks him up..and... MC: HOLY FREAKING CRAP! COACH: St. Andrew just drove Sly through not one, but two tables, head-first, with The End! MC: But notice that, at the last second, Mad Matt moved off of the table, and they didn’t get him! COACH: Nonetheless, that was absolutely brutal! As the crowd chants “Holy Sh*t!”, both Andrew and Sly lie amongst the table parts, lifeless. This goes on for nearly a minute, until Andrew finally finds the strength to pull himself onto Sly.....1..........................2...................AJ Flaire gets up off of his table and breaks it up?!?!?!? MC: What in the hell is going on? CABOOSE: It's like an open invitation for chaos here tonight on HeldDOWN~! AJ then points at Matt angrily, and tells him to “set the (bleep)ing (bleep) up!” Matt begrudingly obliges. Matt grabs the table standing, and scoots it sideways. He then grabs the last two unbroken tables at ringside, and sets one up beside the already-set table. He then sets the other one up on top of those two tables, creating a pyramid of sorts. AJ then throws some chairs over at Matt, who throws one at Sly’s lifeless body, and then climbs one of the ladders and puts the other three on top of Andrew’s lain body. AJ then opens and reaches into the mystery hamper. He pulls out.....barbed wire. Rolls upon rolls...looks like nearly a mile’s length of barbed wire. He cuts it down with a pair of pliers from his pocket, and tosses some of it to Matt. Matt then wraps all the barbed wire that he’s given around Andrew and the table, basically tying the chairs to Andrew, and Andrew to the table. AJ then pulls Sly up, and ties Sly’s hands behind his back with the barbed wire. AJ and Matt then climb the same ladder, while pulling Sly up with them. They collectively put him on their shoulders at the same time.... MC: Holy CRAP! COACH: They just drove Sly Sommers through St. Andrew, some chairs, and a pyramid of tables with a double Death Valley Driver! MC: Are they dead? COACH: They just might be! The entire crowd erupts at the deadly sight of the move. After the crowd calms down a little, Sly is somehow able to get his arm over Andrew’s unconscious carcass, which is cut in a few areas due to the barbed wire.....1.....................2................................................ ........................3! Sly Sommers has somehow regained the HeldDOWN~! X-Division Championship, but not without a fight! MC: That, my friends, was a spectacle that you need to watch again and again! COACH: Violent by design, and even more! The entire crowd stands up to applaud the effort put in by both Sly Sommers and St. Andrew in this brutal contest. But, all of a sudden, GM Northstar comes down the ramp, looking mad. NORTHSTAR: What in the hell was that?!?!?! I mean, tremendous match, Sly, Andrew; but what in the hell was up with all the damn run-ins?!?!? You got the Minions, and you got the Global Party Experience, and you got AJ Flaire and Mad Matt...what’s wrong with this picture? That’s right, you’re all trying to ruin MY SHOW! The X-Mas X-Division Twice as Nice Invitational was MY idea, to spice up MY Christmas show, and make everyone else on the air wish they spent Christmas at home! What happens? As soon as we get to the big X-Division Title match, we had a zillion run-ins to attempt to ruin my vision! So, I’ll tell ya what...Minions, Global Party Experience...you guys did sign a contract earlier tonight to fight at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten. However, I can change everything else about that match. I’m going to change one very important detail about Sunday’s match. You see, usually, when you work the Pay-Per-View, you get a huge payoff. Big bucks, right? Well, at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, whoever loses doesn’t get the big payoff! That’s right, Global Party Experience vs. Minions is now a “Losers Lose Their Paycheck” match! As for Matt and AJ, I know you’re not cleared until after the new year begins by your doctors, especially you, AJ. However, since you seemed ready, willing, and able to be physical tonight, I’m sure you’ll be even more prepared on Sunday, when, at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, it will be Mad Matt versus AJ Flaire....versus St. Andrew, versus Sly Sommers! But, it won’t be just any normal four-way X Division Title match. Oh no, it’ll be a first for this company. You see, we’re going to take the physicality to a new level. We’re not necessarily going to bring the violence up a level; at Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, we’re taking your endurance to the next level! The rules of this very special match are simple: Two men in the ring at once. If you’re the loser of the fall, you must stay in the ring, while everyone else can tag in and out, until you either score a win, in which case you must tag out, or you’re beaten a second time, in which case you’re eliminated from the contest! This goes until two men are left standing. Those two guys have their entire win-loss record in the match erased, and will go at it in a one-on-one contest. Whoever wins that match is YOUR new X-Division Champion! It’s called the HeldDOWN~! Hot Seat Double Elimination Match. Bet you wouldn’t have gotten involved had you known you’re involved in this match, now would you? (GM Northstar leaves the stage in a huff; EMT’s help escort Sly and Andrew to the back; AJ and Matt are taken away by security; the Minions steal Andrew away from the EMT’s, and carry him backstage themselves; the GPE limp backstage on their own power) COACH: Man, oh, man, what a match tonight! MC: Sly Sommers and St. Andrew proved tonight that they belong at the top of the X-Division field, risking life and limb multiple times in order to obtain that belt! COACH: But, as amazing as tonight’s match was, these guys, plus the injured AJ Flaire and the mentally unstable Mad Matt, must walk into this Sunday’s Pay-Per-View event, Bloodied, Battered, and Beaten, and wrestle in this HeldDOWN~! Hot Seat Double Elimination Match for the X-Division Championship that will definately prove to wreak havoc upon all four men’s cardiovascular systems! MC: Not only that, but the Minions battle fellow rookie tag team the Global Party Exchange, Scotty Static and Johnny “Jam” Jackson, in a “Losers Lose Their Paychecks” match! In other words, if you lose this baby, you go home with no money, nothing for hotel check-in; nothing for car rental or food; and definately nothing to take home and spend! COACH: Yeah, Northstar knows that the almighty dollar rules the lives of all wrestlers, and putting that prize on the line is definately going to motivate these young rookies even further! MC: Man, two huge matches announced after tonight’s amazing spectacle of athleticism and violence for this Sunday night: Nathaniel and Michael versus the Global Party Exchange in a “Losers Lose Their Paychecks” match, and, for the X-Division Championship, in a HeldDOWN~! Hot Seat Double Elimination Match, St. Andrew versus Mad Matt versus AJ Flaire versus the champ, representing Totally Endorsed, Sly Sommers! It’s gonna be huge! CABOOSE: This was one hell of a night to assume my new role, and one hell of a Christmas gift to these great fans. MC: I couldn't agree more, Caboose. Folks, we hope you've enjoyed this show as much as we've enjoyed your love for us. This is Michael Cole, signing off for The Coach and Caboose, saying Merry Christmas to you all from all of us, here on HeldDOWN~! *Fade Out* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted December 25, 2003 PROPS: Axel PK Rags Northstar Zack Sly Hoff Panther MadMatt Damaramu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
