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SJL CRIMSON, JANUARY 8, 2004!

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“Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the National Anthem.”

 

Funyon, standing in the center of the ring, clears his throat and begins to sing.

 

Start spreading the news. I’m leaving today.

I want to be a part of it - New York, New York.

These vagabond shoes are longing to stray.

Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York.

 

I wanna wake up in a city that doesn’t sleep

and find I’m king of the hill - top of the heap!

 

These little town blues are melting away.

I’ll make a brand new start of it - in old New York.

If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere!

It’s up to you - New York, New York.

 

New York, New York.

I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps.

And find I’m A-number one, top of the list, king of the hill,

A-number one…

 

These little town blues are melting away.

I’m gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York!

And if I can make it there, I’m gonna make it anywhere!

 

It up to you - New York, New York!

 

The Hammerstein Ballroom’s crowd applauds his rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York,” and Funyon bows politely.

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SJL CRIMSON CARD

Date: Thursday, January 8, @ 6 PM EST

Venue: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York

 

OPENING PROMO: Not called yet.

 

SINGLES MATCH

“Fruitie” Frankie Deed versus The Daredevil

Description: I won a free game from 411!

Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply.

 

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP

Landon Maddix vs Alan Clark©

Description: Did I mention free?

Rules: Standard match. DQ & Countout apply.

 

TAG MATCH

The Ghost of Sean Casey & The Known Jacob Helmsley vs “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins & Todd Royal

Description: Magic The Gathering Battlegrounds. Yeah, totally.

Rules: Standard tag match. DQ & Countout apply.

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Crimson's theme comes to a close, as the cameras take us into New York's Hammerstein Ballroom, the venue for tonight's show! With fans scattered all over the building, most gripping their seats in anticipation, the announce team introduces those watching at home to the broadcast.

 

"Welcome, one and all, to the very first SJL show of the new year! I'm William Hearford, with Annie Eclectic and my Justice & Rule tag partner Ejiro Fasaki."

 

"It's always good to be here on Crimson, or at least it would be if Annie weren't here. But regardless, I declare that 2004 will be the year of Justice & Rule both in the announce booth and in the ring."

 

"Thank you. And you know, Ejiro, though you get paid more than me for being here, I'm content with the fact that I can make this your most miserable year ever."

 

Annie and Ejiro continue to bicker, as the arena drops into darkness, the only light found being that of flashing strobes. Simultaneously, a familiar riff drifts throughout the arena, as the rock classic "Frankenstein" by the Edgar Winter Group hits. Among the sights and sounds, Manson walks through the entry way and the fans explode as he throws a fist in the air!

 

"Stop the fighting you two, because we have our first guest, and it's Manson! We haven't seen him since the loss in the cage to Todd Royal, in early December!"

 

"I surmise he was put into traction after his showdown with the unfathomable Power of Todd."

 

"Well, he's here right now. And he looks okay, he even has a new look to him."

 

"Annie, it's the look of a broken man, I assure you."

 

"Uh, he just looks like he shaved his head."

 

Indeed, the lights from above reflect off the completely bald cranium of Manson, as he walks down to the ring. He rolls under the bottom rope, and immediately walks over to grab a mic. His theme dies down, and the lights return to normal, as he raises the mic to his face.

 

"Let's listen to what he has to say..." says Judge.

 

"It's great to be back!" screams Manson, as the fans pop again, and a look of ire shows up on Manson's face. "And just as I expected, you pop like the like the Pavlovian dogs that you are..."

 

The fans boo a little bit, with looks of confusion on some of their faces, some not knowing who Pavlov was, and some taking it as an insult.

 

"See, while I was away, I had an epiphany of sorts. It started when Todd Royal defeated me in the cage. I tried my best, and destroyed him even, but it wasn't good enough. All because I tried to please you fans with a big risk from the top of the cage, the Shooting Star Press, and it cost me the match. It was your fault I lost..."

 

"You know, I think I spoke too soon. Manson is fast becoming one of my favorite wrestlers."

 

"But he hasn't even wrestled a match yet."

 

"I know how good he is, I've seen him with my own two eyes. It was his attitude that always bugged me." quips Ejiro, as Manson continues.

 

"Over the break, I repeatedly looked around my house, at the pool, at the cars, at the piles of bank statements on the table. All these things, all of it was bought with my blood, sweat and tears. But I didn't spill the blood, sweat and tears for me, I spilt it for you!" screams Manson again as the crowd cheers, thinking the events are about to take a turn for the better.

 

"Well, I was a fool for falling for it. I got too caught up in the accolades. I got too caught up in the cheers. I got too caught up in the money brought in by making myself "marketable." I realized that I lost the piece of me that doesn't give a damn about any of the boys in the back, or any of you! What I'm saying is you all can shove it!" says Manson as the entirety of the crowd boos now.

 

"I can't believe what I'm hearing..." says Annie.

 

"Oh boy, a nerve is struck with these fans. I love this." Ejiro says smugly.

 

"Now, perhaps the worst part of it all, the part that bugs me the most, is that the man I despise the most in the SJL is holding both the European and World Heavyweight belts. Let me spell it out for you. Alan Clark..."

 

The fans pop at the sound of Clark's name, slightly throwing Manson off. "That no-good company shill for Disney, a company that would sooner rather have nothing to do with us, is holding what I want in his stained hands. His hands, of course, stained with the blood, sweat and tears of real competitors like myself."

 

The fans boo once again, not liking Manson calling out Clark, as Manson continues, "Alan, come hell or high water, I resolve to take that which you love most! Not your fans, you can keep them. Not your Disney contract, for you can stick it. I'm talking about your titles!" says Manson as the fans boo once more.

 

"And if by some chance, you lose those titles to someone before I get around to them, I have no problems there. Simply put, whoever you are, consider this a declaration of war, because I will not be denied of my rightful place any longer." says Manson as "Frankenstein" hits, and he drops the mic to the mat. He heads out of the ring, the fans still in his ear, as he continues out of sight.

 

"Manson with strong words, as he actually turns on the fans which have embraced him dating back to last year, and vowing to take apart anyone who gets in his way. Anyway, we'll be back with Frankie v. DareDevil, right after this." says Judge emphatically.

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“Unfortunately,” says William Hearford, “Frankie Deed and the Daredevil were both unable to make it to this show due to weather.”

 

“We used that excuse last week,” says a petulant Ejiro Fasaki. “But if the wrestlers make it later on, we’ll edit the match in.”

 

“Edit?”

 

“Never mind.”

 

“Too bad you don’t have your belt,” says Annie, “or you could defend it to entertain the fans.”

 

“Fortunately,” says Ejiro, “we had an event this weekend in Buffalo, New York, which was BEFORE Danny Williams stole my World Title. Here it is, via tape delay.”

 

Ejiro simply stews, having just lost the SWF World Title to Danny Williams, and Crimson fades to an ad for PepsiMALT featuring Xstasy.

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SJL Crimson returns onto the air with ring announcer Funyon and referee Sexton Hardcastle present and correct in the ring. Meanwhile, at ringside our normal announce team of William Hearford, Annie Onita and Ejiro ‘I’m the SWF World Champion, remember’ Fasaki are stationed by their announce table. In the background, the Burt Flickenger Centre is electric, awaiting some more SJL action…

 

“Welcome to the Burt Flickenger Centre, which is electric here tonight as this crowd is awaiting some more SJL action.” concurs Judge.

“Indeed, and rightfully so.” adds Annie. “Because up next, we see the NEW SJL World Champion in action!”

“Defending his European Title…just to clarify.”

“Yeah, Mr ‘All Man Apart From The Mice Obssession’ didn’t want to defend his new title I guess.” Ejiro quips.

“That’s being saved for another day Ejiro…and you know it. But this match will be for the SJL European Title, and the opponent will be the number one contender to the World Title Landon Maddix.”

 

The camera cuts away from the announce table, and to Funyon, who’s sporting one of those smiles that seems to say ‘I’ve just successfully tiled my bathroom…and I like it!’

 

“Ladies and gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit, and it is for the SJL European CHAMPION…SHIP!!!”

 

The crowd pop knowing who holds that very belt…but, they’re not cheering for long…

 

 

"An' I'm sailin'...yeah!"

 

"Suck My Kiss" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers starts up, as the Burt Flickenger Centre fills with rapturous boos! As the song moves into the lyrics, Landon Maddix steps out from behind the curtain to even more heat from the crowd, Landon not bothered by it stands at the top of stage...the lights dim momentarily, as a Todd Royal-like white spotlight falls upon him, and the smiling challenger raises his arms out in the air.

 

“Introducing first, he is the challenger. Hailing from Huron South Dakota. Claiming to be the ‘Disciple of Todd’…he weighs two hundred and six pounds. The former European Champion, and the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Title. Ladies and gentlemen…this is LANDON…’LA CUCARACHA’…MAAADDIIIX!!!”

 

Funyon finishes, as the lights return to normal. Maddix slowly makes his walk to the ring, the crowd’s abuse falling on deaf ears.

 

“This youngster has certainly gone through a change recently…one which can be attributed to Todd Royal.” Judge begins…

“A change for the better.” interrupts Ejiro. “This kid finally has that x-factor. Something you can give a damn about. Unlike ‘Disney Boy’.”

 

 

Getting to the apron, Landon leaps up and hooks his arms around the top rope…leaning back on them as he sings along with the song’s chorus.

 

 

"Hit me you can't hurt me...

 

SUCK MY KISS!"

 

Before 'rolling' into the ring and leaping to the middle rope, raising his arms for the crowd again, and unsurprisingly getting booed again. Jumping down, Maddix walks over to referee Hardcastle, and decides to have a ‘friendly word’ with the referee before the match. In the meantime, the familiar voice suddenly booms over the PA system, to cheers from the fans.

 

"Please Stand Clear of the Ring. Por favor Soporte Claro Del Anillo."

 

"For the safety and comfort of others...no smoking please. Para la seguridad y la comodidad de otras... el ningún fumar por favor"

 

"The SJL and the Walt Disney Company are proud to present...the following matchup."

 

Out from behind the curtain steps Alan Clark, his video rolling on the big screen above his head. A big smile…bigger than usual…almost fills Clark’s entire jaw area, as he raises his arms in the air. In one hand the European Title, in the other, the World Title…the man with all the gold stands with both belts aloft in the air, before walking down the aisle.

 

“And the opponent. From the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, Florida…weighing two hundred and twenty five pounds. He is the “Happiest Guy On Earth”. He is the NEW SJL Worlds Heavyweight Champion…and also, he is the defending SJL European Champion. ALAN CLAAARRRK!!!”

 

Alan eventually makes it to the ring, having got in many separate conversations on his way. Rolling into the ring, the still smiling Clark holds both his belts up, to huge cheers from the crowd…this time, getting a reaction out of Maddix. Clark hands both his belts tenderly over to referee Hardcastle, who walks over to Maddix. Trying to show Maddix the European Title, as is customary, Hardcastle end up getting hassled into showing Maddix the World Title instead. Taking exception, Clark shoves Maddix away from Hardcastle, who quickly gets rid of both belts.

 

“That’s what Maddix wants. He doesn’t want Clark’s European Title…he wants the World Title!” Ejiro points out quickly, as the bell rings in the background.

“But this match IS for the European Title.” Judge states in response.

 

Clark and Maddix stand eye to eye…just about…staring each other down, as the match is officially underway. The crowd in the Burt Flickenger Centre have set their stall early, rallying behind Alan with chants of “Landon Sucks.” The stare-down continues for a few more seconds, before Maddix suddenly turns away, yelling at the crowd to be quiet. That unsurprisingly prompts them to increase their vocal opinions…which Landon tries to shrug off.

 

“LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!”

 

The chants ring around the arena more and more, as Landon and Clark suddenly both lunge forward, into a collar and elbow tie-up. Landon very quickly scoots behind Clark and locks on a side headlock, which brings a smile to his face. Perhaps a little overconfident, Maddix leaves himself open for a series of forearms to the ribs from Alan, before getting pushed off to the ropes. Coming back, Clark goes for a clothesline…but Landon ducks. Again Landon rebounds off the ropes, and again he ducks a clothesline. On hitting the ropes again, Maddix grabs hold off them stopping himself. Clark sees this and begins to charge forward…but Maddix very quickly DIVES out of the ring, his cowardice getting booed instantly by the crowd.

 

“Smart move.” Ejiro smugly points out, clearly knowing the reaction he’ll get.

“Smart move?” Annie predictably questions. “Looked a little…’cowardly’…to me.”

“Well, what can I say? You’re obviously not watching the match closely enough.”

 

Pacing around, Maddix tries to regain his composure, not being helped by the hostile crowd. After a few seconds of pacing, Landon finally rolls back into the ring…as Clark is waiting, to initiate another tie-up. Again Landon manages to lock on the side headlock, and again Alan pushes him away…but this time, Maddix grabs a handful of Clark’s hair and pulls him with him into another headlock. Hardcastle questions Maddix about it, only to get a dishonest no back. Clark fires a couple of forearms into the side of Maddix, before pushing Maddix off again. Maddix comes away with another handful of hair, but this time Clark grits his teeth through the pain and stays rock steady…

 

 

…leaving Maddix standing red handed with a handful of hair. Hardcastle immediately calls for a break, which he eventually gets. Maddix still tries to protest innocence, but his pause allows Clark to fire a knifedge chop to the chest. Another connects, Maddix desperately tries to cover up to stop the agonizing pain. Clark is able to nail a couple more stinging chops, before Maddix manages to jab his thumb viciously into Clark’s eye…which goes undetected by Hardcastle.

 

“A thumb to the eye…that’s a sporting move.” Annie says sarcastically.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Judge chuckles.

“Is this a hardcore match? Did I miss a memo? No, it isn’t. I only break rules when there’s none to break.”

 

Judge and Ejiro sit silently, trying to figure out what Annie just said…

 

 

…as Maddix meanwhile takes advantage over Clark, who being temporarily visually impaired doesn’t see a shining wizard kick flying towards the back of his head. As it connects, Clark sprawls forward and lands face first on the ring canvas, his head snapping back upon impact. Maddix quickly follows up by dropping his leg hard across Clark’s head, further damaging his face. Suddenly, Landon seems to have a slight strut back in his step, as he walks around Clark’s fallen body.

 

“There is your World Champion. The rightful champion!” Ejiro beams.

“Abandoning Todd are we?” Annie quickly buts in, leaving Ejiro stammering for an answer.

 

In total control seemingly, Maddix reaches down to pick Clark up from the mat…but Alan somehow manages to thrust his right leg upwards, and connect with a kick to Landon’s forehead…the force of which sending Maddix crashing into the turnbuckles. As he staggers back, Clark quickly scoots up to his feet and hooks on a reverse waistlock. Frantic elbows form La Cucaracha connect with Clark’s head, but none of them can break the hold, and prevent Clark from popping his hips, taking Maddix over with him with a GERMANY Suplex!!! With the waistlock on, Clark holds on for a pinfall…

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

Clark very quickly gets back to his feet, as Maddix is a step behind him. Dropping to his knees, Clark pulls Maddix forward, sliding him over onto his shoulders, and taking Maddix over with a fireman’s carry. As Maddix connects with the mat, Clark sweeps through with the move and locks hold of Maddix’s leg. Again, franticness sets in for Maddix, as Clark tries to grab his other leg. Flailing around, Landon can only prolong the imminent, as eventually Clark grab hold of the flailing right leg, hooks it under the left and turns over with a texas cloverleaf locked in.

 

“Clark has Maddix caught…he tried to fight, but couldn’t.” Annie excitedly commentates.

 

Digging his fingers into the solid mat, Maddix claws desperately towards the ropes. Little by little he seems to be getting closer, but little by little isn't good enough. Sitting back with the hold Clark almost snaps Maddix clean in half, his challenger’s body bent in the middle from the torque. Clark has a look of sheer determination on his face as he tries to add even more pressure on Landon…

 

 

…but as he does so, Clark miscalculates, stepping back to far, and allowing Landon to escape to his back. Clark quickly tries to shrug it off and turn back into the hold, but somehow Landon manages to slip a leg free, and drive the flat of his boot stiffly into Alan’s ribs. The champ is now doubled over, allowing Maddix to reach up and pull Alan down into a small package…

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO ONLY!

 

“Alan got himself into trouble there…”

“He was so intent on hurting Maddix, I guess Alan just lost concentration for a moment.” Judge speculates.

“And THAT is our World Champion?” Ejiro meanly quips.

 

 

Back up, Alan cannot hide a look of frustration as he gets up. Wildly he swings forward at Landon upon getting up, but Landon smartly ducks and catches Alan in the ribs with a jumping front kick. This doubles Alan over the other way, and allows Maddix to lock on a reverse headlock. Not to mention having a sweaty armpit in his face, Clark also has Maddix crushing his windpipe with the modified headlock. Very suddenly Maddix leaves his feet, falling to the mat and driving the back of Alan’s head into the mat. Sweeping around Maddix hooks the leg and makes the cover…

 

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO COUNT!

 

Quickly Maddix mounts Alan and drives right hand after right hand into the head of Clark, Clark trying to cover up, but in vain. Having finished his flurry, Maddix makes another cover…

 

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

…TWOOOOO again.

 

 

Now looking slightly frustrated, Maddix walks over to the corner, awaiting Clark to get up. Slowly he gets back up to his feet, at which point Maddix jumps up to the middle rope. Springboarding off the middle ropes, Landon spins around 180 degrees in mid-air towards Clark. However, the Euro and World Champion sees him coming, and adjusts…Landon gets lost in mid-air, and ends up landing right into an inverted atomic drop! Seeling it like death, Maddix jumps around the ring holding his spine, as Clark charges forward and nails a stiff clothesline.

 

“Two thirds of the Walk In The Park…” Annie begins. “And Landon is suddenly reeling again! Go Alan!”

“Annie!” Judge snaps.

“Wha…oh…sorry. Be impartial…I know. It’s not easy with Blowhorn Whinehorn beside me.”

“Who!?!”

 

Up out of instinct more than anything, Landon staggers around the middle of the ring as Clark runs off the ropes. As he passes Maddix, Alan grabs a hold of Landon’s head with his right hand, and drives him face first to the mat with a diving facecrucher-come-bulldog maneuver. Seemingly knocked out, Maddix doesn’t show any signs of movement. Rather than going for the cover though, Alan decides to finish up the Walk In The Park sequence, and leaps to the middle rope. Flipping back, Alan goes for the Lionsault…

 

 

 

…BUT MISSES! Maddix rolls out of the way!

 

“Oh deary me…oh, deary, deary me.” Ejiro, ever the critic, begins.

 

Clark holds his gut in pain as Maddix looks to capitalize. Locking on a front facelock, Landon throws Alan’s right hand behind his head and quickly hits a snap suplex. With a broad, cocky smile Landon rolls Alan onto his back and makes another cover…

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

 

…H…

 

 

 

TWO COUNT! Alan kicks out again.

 

 

Landon quickly jumps back to his feet and runs to the ropes, but with a sudden rush of adrenaline, Alan leaps to his feet and then up into the air in one swift movement with a standing dropkick, connecting FLUSH on the jaw. As Landon hits the deck in a crumpled heap, Alan is quick to pick him back up…the crowd fully behind him. Picking Landon up, Alan heaves the challenger up across his shoulder and holds him in a Canadian Backbreaker position, taking a moment to soak up the crowd reaction…

 

 

 

…but as he does, through the curtain has stepped Todd’s Toddess, Megan Skye! Clark sees her out of the corner of his eye…stopping him in his track. Before he can nail the Monorailer, Maddix drives his elbow forward…CATCHING HIM IN THE EYE!!!

 

“Oh god! What an elbow!” shouts Judge in shock.

 

 

Alan collapses instantly, holding his eye as Maddix manages to break his fall just about. Alan clasps his hand over his right eye, stumbling about…

 

 

…into a small package…

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

…H…

 

 

 

 

 

…R…

 

 

 

 

 

…EEEEEE!?! IT’S…OVER!?!

 

 

“IT’S OVER! YES!” Ejiro yells. “It’s over…”

“How!?! I…I’m shocked.” Annie replies.

 

 

In as much shock as the announcers, Maddix scrambles from the ring…the crowd booing wildly, as quickly the European Title belt is passed to him. “Suck my Kiss” begins to play, as seemingly the whole Burt Flickenger Centre is in shock.

 

 

“Here is your winner…and…NEW SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPION…LANDON…LA CUCARACHA…MADDIX!”

 

Landon scrambles up the rampway, and embraces the ecstatic Megan on the rampway, European Title raised high in the air…as meanwhile, Alan is stil holding his eye, blood seemingly coming from it. Hardcastle checks on Alan worriedly, as Crimson suddenly snaps away to a commercial break.

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(The camera cuts to backstage, as "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins is seen walking down a hallway, stopping short of a door, with the words "The Lord, Todd" on it. Spike bangs against the door, and after a few seconds, the door opens. Spike walks into the room, walking past a little Alter Boy type figure, and into the dressing room. Spike spots Todd Royal, former SJL World Heavyweight Champion, sitting on a steel chair, with his manager, Megan Skye rubbing his shoulders, as they both turn towards Spike. Todd nearly jumps out of the chair, but Spike holds up two fingers, motioning towards Peace. Todd sits back down, as Megan gets back to work on his shoulders.)

 

Todd: What do you want?

 

HSJ: Dude. I've been trying to call you all week. We need to talk about the tag match later tonight.

 

Todd: I don't need to talk to you about anything.

 

HSJ: Dude, don't act like that. We need to work together.......or something.

 

Todd: Listen, I don't like you. You are a very annoying person, and to barge into my dressing room like this is disrespectful. Now, evacuate yourself immediately, or I'll have my followers do it for you.

 

HSJ: Come on man, let's work together!

 

(But Todd refuses to listen, as he closes his eyes, and Megan begins working on his shoulders again. Spike, walks over to Megan, and gives her a little shew motion with his hand, as she reluctantly does so. Spike stands over Todd, thinks for a second, then grabs Todd by his skull, and starts shaking Todd's head.)

 

HSJ: WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS? WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?

 

Todd: GET OFF ME!

 

(Todd pushes Spike off of him, and with a hurt expression on his face, Spike just holds his arms out.)

 

HSJ: Fine dude. You don't want to work together, and be stubborn? Fine, go ahead. But I just thought that maybe you would like to go out there, and not lose for once!

 

Todd: ........

 

HSJ: Fine. I'm out of here. But I only have one more thing to say.

 

Todd: And what's that?

 

HSJ: Don't worry, I'm not gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do, which is, you know, FLIP OUT!

 

Todd: Oh Todd....

 

HSJ: Megan. How about your sweet ass? Come with Hollywood baby.

 

Megan: ........

 

HSJ: All right! Fine! But if anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the ground floor of something real and fun and inspiring and true in this godforsaken business and we will do it together! Now, who's coming with me? That's all I want to know.

 

Todd: Spike.....ugh....fine! Let's talk. Todd knows I don't need another loss.

 

HSJ: All right. That's what I'm talking about. YEAH BUDDY~!

 

(Spike holds his arm out for a high five, which Todd, reluctantly agrees too.)

 

HSJ: Snootch to the Noonch~!

 

Todd: What?

 

HSJ: Fuckin' A.

 

Todd: This is going to be a long night...

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As we return live to the storied Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City, we see a capacity crowd packing the tiny arena to the rafters. As the audience cheers, the camera pans past signs that read “Alan Clark: The Happiest Champ on Earth”, and “Happy New Year- Now if only Frankie’s Balls would drop!”, the melodic sounds of our commentary trio take over.

 

Judge: Welcome back to SJL Crimson! It’s the first Junior League show of 2004, and we’re live from the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City!!

 

Annie: That’s right! The former second home of Extreme is now the sight of an exciting episode of wrestling’s most action-packed show!!

 

Ejiro: We’ve already seen a colossal clash between our Junior Hero in Training, Landon Maddix, and our sham of a world champion Alan Clark, but up next is the main event! Sean Casey and Jacob Helmsley team up to take on Spike Jenkins and the REAL heavyweight champ of the JL, Todd Royal!

 

Annie: Todd lost fair and square to Alan in a classic match, and earned EVERY bit of that World Title!!

 

As the commentators continue to bicker, the crowd settles down, and the voice of the SJL, Funyon, steps into the ring. As the lights over the crowd drop and the ring light brightens, Funyon raises the microphone to his lips.

 

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen…the following is your MAIN EVENT!!!…It is a tag team contest, scheduled for one fall…with TV Time remaining…

 

With that, the ballroom shakes and Marilyn Manson’s “This is the New Shit” plays over the PA system. The lights above the ring dim, and the crowd erupts in boos as the curtain parts and Natasha steps into the aisle. Pulling back the cloth she reveals the shrouded form of Sean Casey, his head wilted and a towel draped over his face. As he begins to saunter down to the ring, the NYC crowd lets him have it.

 

Funyon: Announcing first…accompanied to the ring by Natasha and weighing in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds…from Calgary, Alberta…this is “LIVE WIRE”…SEAN CASEY!!!

 

Reaching the ring and sliding under the ropes, Casey takes up a motionless guard in the center of the ring. As Marilyn Manson dies down in the background, Casey reaches up and whips off his towel, throwing it into the crowd and revealing a deep scowl across his face. Before Sean can even take his shirt off, however, Disturbed’s “Meaning of Life” blasts over the loudspeakers as well.

 

Funyon: And his partner…from Calgary, Alberta…weighing in at two hundred and twenty seven pounds…ladies and gentlemen…JACOB HEMLSLEY!!!

 

Stepping through the curtain with his hair tied back in a ponytail that cascades over his trench coat, Helmsley raises his head and gives a stone cold glare to the crowd. Scowling, he lowers his face again and marches towards the ring, ignoring the outstretched hands of the fans on the aisle, and the boos from the crowd in the rafters, he slides purposefully into the ring and takes his position beside his partner and his partner’s valet.

 

Ejiro: A heck of a team here with Helmsley and Casey. Both men are of similar build, and both hail from that center of wrestling Excellence, Calgary, Alberta, Canada. In addition, both men are among the top talents the JL has to offer.

 

Judge: Indeed, both Helmsley and Casey are talented singles competitors, but this is their first time teaming together. If they can hope to defeat the two former World Heavyweight Champs that they’ll face tonight, however, they’ll have to come together as a team tonight.

 

Annie: Yeah right. These two are so concerned with building themselves up, there’s no way they’ll get along.

 

As the trio discusses their strategy in the middle of the ring, the lights in the arena drop to black, and dozens of light blue strobe lights begin flashing around the entrance way. As the crowd explodes in cheers, the heels bail from the ring, and “Not Today” by Hotwire blasts across the speakers.

 

Funyon: And their opponents…accompanied to the ring by Megan Skye and weighing in at a total combined weight of four hundred and forty five pounds…from California…the team of TODD ROYAL…and “HOLLYWOOD”…SPIKE JENKINS!!!

 

The crowd, cheering wildly for Spike, quiets down a bit in confusion as the announcement is made. The curtain parts as Megan Skye steps through, clad in a gold and silver top, drawing boos from some fans. The crowds confusion mounts as Skye steps aside, and indeed Royal and Jenkins step through the curtain together.

 

Annie: Well, that’s interesting to say the least. Spike Jenkins and Todd Royal are two men with different philosophies on life, and men with a history of animosity, if Helmsley and Casey couldn’t come out as a unit I NEVER expected these two to co-exist.

 

Spike is all smiles as he struts down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans and pointing into the ring. Behind him, Royal’s face is considerably less bright, nodding his head to the music and reluctantly slapping a few hands as he trails behind his partner. At the end of the aisle, Spike grabs a sign from a fan, grinning as he shows the “SJL = Spike Jenkins League” sign to Todd. Royal smirks and nods as Spike hands back the sign. Both men slide into the ring, and a reaction of mostly cheering rains down on the pair.

 

Judge: Well, I was going to talk about how difficult it would be for these two to work as a unit, what with Spike having pinned Todd in a non-title match last month and all, but it certainly seems as if Royal and Jenkins have worked out any differences they might have had. This teamwork may give the advantage in this match to the team of Todd and Hollywood.

Ejiro: That Falls Count Anywhere match must have done some serious damage to Royal’s brain. MY Todd and Savior would never fraternize with that Tinsel Town blowhard Spike Jenkins.

 

As Megan and Funyon step from the ring, and Helmsley and Casey re-enter, the lights in the arena go back up. Helmsley steps through the ropes and grabs the tag rope as Royal and Jenkins discuss strategy. As the pair shakes hands and Spike steps to the ring apron, referee Sexton Hardcastle calls for the bell.

 

*DING* *DING* *DING*

 

At the sound of the bell, Casey and Royal both move toward the center of the ring. Staring each other down, both competitors slowly circle the ring, neither making much of an effort to lock up. As the crowd stomps their feet for action, Todd makes the first move, raising his hands in the air for a test of strength. Shifting his eyes quickly up to Royal’s hands and back to his eyes, Casey shakes his head and backs away from his opponent.

 

Annie: I’d be wary too of locking up with Royal. That’s an open invitation for a kick in the balls from Todd.

 

Royal scowls at the refusal to lock up and lowers his arms to his side. When Casey steps back in, Todd steps forward, thrusting out his arms and locking up with his opponent in a collar-and-elbow. The men rock back and forth, fighting for an advantage, before Casey ducks under his opponent’s arm, spinning behind Todd and locking in a waistlock.

 

Todd tries to maneuver out of the hold, but Casey stands his ground, forcing Royal to kick out his feet and drop to the mat. As Todd hit’s the canvas, he reaches back and wraps his arms around his opponent’s right ankle, twisting Casey down in an ankle-lock.

 

Judge: Both Sean Casey and Todd Royal can go on the mat, and both men will use those talents to try to get an early advantage for their team in this match. Neither man wants to be the one to tag out as a defensive move.

 

Ejiro: That’s right. They want to tag in their partner with their opponent in control, allowing their partner to work an advantage, not having to fight for one.

 

With both men on the canvas, Sean Casey plants his hands. Grimacing at the pain from the ankle hold, he pushes upwards, spinning under his own body and twisting Royal off the hold. Before Todd can regain his vertical base, however, Casey hooks his arm and drops down, arm dragging him to the mat. Holding onto Todd’s wrist, Casey floats over, hooking an armbar. Moving to cinch in the hold, Casey leaves himself open and Todd pounces, twisting away from his opponent and locking in a hammerlock.

 

Hooking his free arm around Royal’s head, Casey plants his feet and leans back, bridging Todd up to a vertical base. Todd steps on the knee to bring him back down, but Casey spins away, snapmaring Royal over his head. As Todd hits, Casey lunges for a headlock, but Royal ducks, clasping his arm over Casey’s neck.

 

Ejiro: Looks like all that hanging out with Spike Jenkins hasn’t eroded Todd’s technique. Royal’s still the best wrestler in the JL since yours truly.

 

Annie: We sure think highly of ourselves, yes?

 

Royal clamps in the headlock, but Casey fights to his feet. Planting his hands on his opponent’s back, the Live Wire tries to push Royal off, only to find himself dragged a foot before Todd regains control. Desperate to get out, Casey backs into a corner, begging Hardcastle for a break.

 

As Casey begs off, Todd breaks cleanly and lifts his hands into the air, backing off of his opponent. Sean reflexively flinches and raises his leg up, but no shot from Royal comes, leaving Casey confused, and the crowd actually applauding Todd.

 

Judge: A clean break by Royal, and that may be the first time I’ve EVER seen that in an SJL ring!

 

Annie: Huh. Maybe Todd actually HAS turned over a new leaf in his quest for a third SJL title reign.

 

Ejiro: NO! I refuse to believe it. The Todd I know, the Almighty Todd of old would NEVER pass up a shot at a cheap shot. He must have got a contact high from being in Jenkins’ dressing room. That’s the only possible explanation.

 

A look of confusion and suspicion etched over his face, Casey slowly walks along the ropes to the adjacent corner, tagging in Jacob Helmsley. Helmsley steps through the ropes and immediately charges at his opponent, ducking down and shooting Royal’s leg. Todd spins away however, dropping a knee on Helmsley’s back.

 

Judge: Good strategy by Helmsley there. When Helmsley was under a mask as the Unknown Warrior, he and Royal had a barnburner of a match. Todd escaped with the victory, but Helmsley tore Todd’s knee to shreds.

 

Picking Helmsley up off the mat, Royal grabs his wrist and whips him to the ropes. Todd drops down to avoid a charging Helmsley the first time by, but then Jacob hits the ropes for a second time, Royal meets him with knee lift under the jaw.

 

Helmsley drops to his knees, clutching his head in pain, and Todd continues his attack, leaning back and letting loose with a stiff shin strike to the ribs. When Helmsley drops his arms to clutch his chest however, Royal blasts him in the jaw with a second shot. A third strike to the back of the skull drops Helmsley to the canvas, and Todd follows him down with a somersault leg drop, getting a small pop from the crowd.

 

Annie: I’ve never seen an SJL crowd applaud Todd Royal, but he’s out here with Spike Jenkins, one of their favorites, and he’s certainly showing us a new side here tonight.

 

Ejiro: I hate it. I want the other side back.

 

Kipping up from the leg drop, Todd reaches over and tags his partner, drawing a huge ovation from the New Yorkers. Ducking through the ropes, a grinning Spike Jenkins heads right for his opponent, leaping up in the air and catching a recovering Helmsley around the head with his legs, and spinning down in a huracanrana.

 

Helmsley moves quickly to scramble to his feet, but Spike- the fresher man- moves quicker, catching his opponent with an arm drag and grounding Helmsley again. Leaping into the air, Jenkins unleashes a dropkick to the back of the head, snapping Helmsley’s head violently forward. As Helmsley lays on the mat, Spike throws his hands in the air, pumping up the crowd and getting them on their feet.

 

“SPIKE!” SPIKE!” “SPIKE!”

 

Jenkins grins at the adulation, but then holds up his hand to stop the crowd. Pointing to his partner, Spike encourages a second cheer from the crowd. After a moment of confusion and hesitation, a significantly smaller portion of the crowd begins to cheer.

 

“TODD!” “TODD!” “TO…”

 

The crowd dies out, but a small grin creeps across the face of Royal. Spike nods and runs forward to the ropes, springing off the middle cable and back flipping towards the middle of the ring. Having had time to recover, however, Helmsley slides out of the way, sending Spike crashing hard to the mat with a thud.

 

Annie: This is almost surreal, the crowd here is actually chanting for Todd Royal. Some of them anyway.

 

Judge: Spike has more problems than cheerleading on his hands right now though. Jacob Helmsley making the tag, and a fresh Sean Casey enters the match.

 

Casey charges in off the tag, whipping his right arm out to bowl over Jenkins. Spike ducks the clothesline, however, and Casey hits the opposite ropes. Spike turns around as Casey leaps off the mat, firing off a dropkick.

 

Reacting quickly, Spike catches Casey’s ankles, dropping Sean back-first onto the mat. As the crowd erupts, Casey tries to twist his way out, only to have Spike drop backwards, slingshot ting his opponent into the turnbuckles.

 

Annie: Spike Jenkins all over Sean Casey as soon as Casey enters the match. Spike is amped up tonight, and Casey and Helmsley are feeling it.

Ejiro: The Calgary Connection will triumph!! They’ll be beating Spike into a pulp in no time, believe me! Now if only our Todd and Savior will come to his senses and make it the 3-on-1 I was wishing for!

 

As Casey staggers back out of the corner, Spike leaps onto the middle rope. Springing off the cable and spinning around, Jenkins takes his opponent down with a flying clothesline. Spike lets out a whoop of victory as he rolls to his feet, charging up the crowd as Casey makes his way to all fours.

 

Judge: Avenging the missed Lionsault a moment ago, Spike hits a beautiful springboard clothesline on Sean Casey.

 

Spike keeps on his opponent, hooking his right leg over Casey’s head. A Rocker Dropper attempt is blocked, however, as Casey stands up, flipping Jenkins over his head. Spike lands on his feet, but Casey goes low, elbowing his opponent in the midsection. With Jenkins doubled over, Casey grabs a front facelock, kicking up his feet and dropping down into a DDT.

 

Ejiro: HA! That oughta show Spike what’s going on! Nice DDT by Live Wire, and Casey takes over for his team.

 

Dropping to his knees with his shin over Spike’s throat, Casey pins down his opponent and reaches over to tag in Jacob Helmsley. As Sexton Hardcastle chews out Casey for the choke, Helmsley leaps into the ring, dropping a knee to Spike’s neck and floating into a leg scissors.

 

Helmsley wrenches at the knee of Spike Jenkins, as in the corner, Royal pounds the turnbuckle to get the crowd behind his partner. With the crowd clapping and cheering him on, Spike spins toward the corner, grabbing the bottom rope and forcing a break. Helmsley releases the hold, but doesn’t back off, dragging Spike into the middle of the ring and somersaulting over him, hooking him in an Oklahoma roll. The crowd boos as Hardcastle hits the mat to count.

 

ONE!…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!…

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

As the referee hits the mat for a second time, Spike kicks his legs, breaking Helmsley’s grasp and the count. The crowd pops at the kick out, but Helmsley retains control, keeping at grip on Spike’s neck and rolling into a front chancery.

 

Judge: First near fall of the match goes to the team of Helmsley and Casey on a roll up by the former Unknown Warrior.

 

Ejiro: Good job by Helmsley as well, not getting flustered by the kick out, and retaining control of the match.

 

With the fans still cheering him on, Spike tries to power out of the headlock. Helmsley grinds it in, however, shuffling toward his corner, and tagging in Sean Casey. As Casey enters the ring, Helmsley pulls up on the hold, leaving Spike’s body open for a cheap shot from Casey. As Jenkins recoils from the shot, Casey takes over the headlock from his partner, grinding his forearm into Spike’s ears.

 

Jenkins continues to fight, backing into the ropes and hooking his arm over the top rope. Leaning into the cables, Spike lurches forward, using the momentum to send Casey shooting across the ring. As his partner hit’s the ropes, however, Helmsley drops to the floor, hooking Spike’s ankles and tripping him face first onto the canvas.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

Ejiro: See, THAT’s teamwork! Not coming out to the same song and “getting along”. Good old fashioned double teaming. THAT’s how you win a tag team match!

 

Judge: Can’t argue with success…

 

As Spike face-plants on the canvas, Casey smirks and puts on the brakes, rebounding off the far ropes and immediately dropping down into the headlock. Simultaneously, Todd Royal steps into the ring, heading for the ref to protest the cheating. Hardcastle intercepts Royal, backing him out of the ring despite protest, and allowing his opponent’s a chance to double team some more. Helmsley grabs the legs of Jenkins and pulls him toward the outside, stretching Spike who is still locked in the headlock by Casey. Boos rain down as Royal angrily steps to the apron, pointing at Helmsley, who breaks his grip.

 

Ejiro: I love this match! Watch Spike get murdered! Buy rates, I tell you!

 

Casey releases the hold, and quickly jumps to his feet. Casey reaches over, and tags in Helmsley. Helmsley quickly gets in, as Casey pulls Spike to his feet. Casey drags Spike over into the middle of the ring. Casey grabs Spike by the wrist, and quickly whips him into his teams corner. Casey charges into the corner, going for a clothesline, but Spike dodges out of the way, causing Casey to charge chest first into the corner! Spike looks towards his own corner, needing to get the tag, but Jake Helmsley stands in his way. Spike charges at Jake, but Jake holds his own. Spike jumps onto Jake, but Jake catches Spike’s foot. Jake tosses Spike backwards, but inadvertently flips Spike backwards. Spike lands on his feet, and dives at Jake, nailing him with a clothesline that sends both competitors down.

 

Annie: Spike is making a come back! He needs to tag in the fresh Todd Royal!

 

Todd stands in his corner, slapping the turnbuckle, getting the crowd behind him. Megan Skye even stands on the outside of the ring, slapping the apron as well. The fans cheer wildly, as Spike begins to make his way to his feet. Spike finally gets to a standing position, and begins to make his way towards Todd. But behind Spike, Sean Casey gets to his feet as well. Spike stumbles his way over to Todd, but Sean dives at Spike, and grabs him by the ankle. Sean gets to his feet, holding onto Spike’s leg, as Spike holds his arm out, reaching for the tag from Todd.

 

Annie: Can Spike make the tag?

 

Ejiro: No, and he will lose!

 

Annie: Well, you are a downer.

 

Ejiro: I’m also the SWF World Heavyweight Champion. Got a problem with that?

 

Spike stands on one leg, pulling towards his corner, but Casey is just holding onto him. Spike realizes he won’t get the tag anytime soon, turns around, with Casey still holding him, and jumps through the air, connecting with a Enziguri to the back of Casey’s head! Casey lets go of his hold, and falls to the mat, as Spike does as well. Spike quickly dives towards his corner, and hits Todd’s hand, tagging in the Former SJL World Heavyweight Champion, to a big pop from the crowd!

 

Judge: And the tag to Todd Royal!

 

Todd quickly jumps into the ring, and charges towards the now up and going Jake Helmsley. Jake turns towards Todd, who quickly wraps his arms around Jake’s waist, and lifts him up into the air, and drives him down, back first into the mat with a Spinebuster! Todd jumps to his feet, as Jake rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope.

Annie: And Todd Royal is a HOUSE EN FUNGO~! Or something...

 

Todd turns towards the shaken Sean Casey, who is holding his head from the previous Enziguri by Spike Jenkins. Todd slowly waits for Casey to turn around, building up anticipation for the crowd. Casey stumbles around, before turning towards Todd, who quickly grabs at Casey’s leg. Todd lifts Casey’s leg up, and before Casey can react, Todd spins Casey over with a Dragon Screw Legwhip! Casey lands on his back, and grabs at his knee, but Todd holds on to it, as he jumps to his feet. Todd signals to the crowd for the Wrath of Todd!

 

Ejiro: Todd is going to make Sean Casey tap out!

 

Judge: If he locks in the Wrath of Todd, he may just be able to do that. But the limited amount of damage on Casey’s knee may give Casey the advantage of being to hold out on the move.

 

Todd wraps around Casey’s leg, and hooks it over Casey’s opposite leg. Todd hooks his leg over Casey’s ankle, and drops down, locking in the Wrath of Todd!!! Casey starts screaming in pain, while trying to get out of the hold, but no luck.

 

Ejiro: FEEL THE PAIN, CASEY! Tap out!

 

Todd continues to apply pressure, but like Judge stated, there has been limited amount of work on Sean’s knee. Sean struggles to roll it over, and nearly does....

 

 

 

 

 

when Spike Jenkins leaps off the top rope from all the way across the ring, and lands on top of Casey with a Frog Splash!!!

 

Annie: The Ratings Grabber by Spike Jenkins onto Sean Casey, who is locked in the Wrath of Todd!!!

 

Spike rolls off of Casey, and Todd keeps the hold locked in, as Casey is just laying there, trying to catch his breath. But with his shoulders down, Todd has a legal pin, and the referee dives into position.

 

 

 

ONE!…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!…

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

 

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

Annie: Todd Royal pins Sean Casey with The Wrath of Todd?? HAS THAT EVER HAPPENED IN WRESTLING BEFORE??

 

Judge: I honestly don’t think so...

 

Annie: Very interesting...

 

Funyon: The winners of this match....The team of Todd Royal, and “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins!!!

 

Ejiro: Todd won the match! Todd won the match!

 

Annie: With the help of Spike Jenkins....

 

Ejiro: Who?

 

Both men stand in the middle of the ring, holding their arms up in victory. The both circle the ring, until they meet in the center, where they both stare each other down. Todd wipes the sweat off his head, and holds his hand out to Spike. Spike looks at Todd’s hand, then looks up at Todd, before turning to the audience. The crowd cheers for Spike to do it, and Spike agrees, as he grabs Todd’s hand, and shakes it! Todd holds Spike’s arm in the air, as the whole arena cheers for the newly formed team.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHEN TODD PULLS SPIKE INTO A CLOTHESLINE!!!

 

 

Ejiro: YES!!!

 

Annie: Come on!

 

The arena fills with boos, as Todd jumps to his feet. Before Todd even has to mention it, Megan grabs Jake Helmsley’s steel pipe from outside of the ring, and slides it in under the bottom rope. Todd grabs the pipe, and turns back to Spike, who is slowly getting back to his feet. Spike gets to his feet, but is still kneeling over, trying to catch his breath, as Todd CRACKS Spike over the back of the head with the pipe, knocking Spike out cold in the middle of the ring. Todd tosses the pipe away, and stands over his fallen enemy, as Ejiro shouts in joy, and the rest of the arena begins throwing trash towards the ring.

 

Ejiro: What a great way to start off the new year! With Todd Royal on top!

 

Annie: Spike is out cold, and Todd is such a low life!

 

Ejiro: Oh get over it, sister. Todd Royal is the future of the SJL, not Spike Jenkins. And Todd just proved it tonight. Todd wants HIS SJL World Heavyweight Title back, and damn it! He will get it! AND NO ONE WILL STAND IN HIS WAY!

 

The show fades to an end, as Todd Royal stands over Spike Jenkins, as the New York crowd throws trash into the ring. Is it really the Year of Todd? 2004 starts off with an Explosion, with one man on top, and that man is The Former SJL World Heavyweight Champion, Todd Royal!

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“And that’s going to wrap it up for us tonight,” says William Hearford. “We had one exciting battle on tape delay, and one live tonight. Unfortunately, Deed and Daredevil couldn’t make it, but they’ll be back in action next week.”

 

“Signing off, I’m Ejiro Fasaki…”

 

“And I’m gay!” says Annie. She waves as the show fades, shouting “Blarg you next week!”

 

===

 

SJL Crimson, January 8, 2004.

© Dachsund Productions. All rights reserved.

“The Smarks Junior League: Training otherwise talented wrestlers to work Chicago style since several years ago.”

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